Fighting

Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the JAG characters. I don’t own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Any JAG episode up to and including ‘Four Percent Solution’. This takes places around the time of the Season 10 episode ‘Retrial.’ Harm was so gorgeous in that ep. (I have MANY screen caps from that episode.)

A/N: Brace yourself ladies, this is a warm one. I’m blaming the pics Barbie and spudz posted on the HB and the simple fact I need a dose of Hot Harm. Most of you HB ladies will get EXACTLY what I mean.

Rating MA

0930

October 11, 2004

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Mac sat at her desk, trying, without much success, to concentrate on the case file in front of her. The day had started off wrong and had begun to deteriorate from there. She woke up dreaming about Harm today, dreaming of him in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to, in a very long time. The shower this morning was most definitely….cold.

It didn’t help that he sat directly across from her this morning during staff call. His summer whites still making him look like a movie star; or like Superman in a uniform. For reasons she couldn’t explain, her eyes kept drifting to his shoulders, so much so that Harm, at one point, looked at one of his shoulder boards and straightened it, thinking it must be crooked. Mac looked down, the color rising in her cheeks.

Pathetic, that’s what she was.

She managed to get through staff call without making a complete fool of herself. Walking swiftly to her office, she didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Mac closed the blinds and the door, hoping everyone would get the message, that she didn’t want to be disturbed. She had been here for 30 minutes, staring at the same page, in the same case file, thinking about Harm, his shoulders and those nice strong arms that she wanted to lose herself in.

Mac sighed audibly, thinking that there was no way back to them now. What did she mean back to them? She’d never been in them, not to stay anyway….. Damn it.

Coffee….she needed coffee. Then maybe she could concentrate on her work and stop seeing the picture in her head. The one of she and Harm, together, in various stages of undress, she had to stop this or fight this, somehow, she felt like an idiot.

She started to make her way out of her office, when she noticed that her file cabinet drawer was slightly ajar. A case file was dislodged and keeping it from closing. Mac straightened it and tried to close the door but it seemed to be stuck on something else.

Damn it, she thought, what was this? She had been all thumbs this morning. Straightening the file again, she tried to close it, slamming it with more force than necessary. It still seemed to be stuck on something, Mac looked again at the drawer, saw nothing and so in frustration, she slammed the drawer shut again, this time slamming her thumb in the drawer.

She drew in a breath sharply “Oh!” She pulled her hand away, and after quickly glancing at it, shook her hand and then grasped it in the other. “Ow!” She sucked in air between her teeth; it was going to be fun trying to use her computer today.

Harm had just knocked on her office door, when he heard her gasp in pain. He stepped in quickly.

“Mac?” His expression filled with concern.

“I’m okay; this stupid file drawer is stuck on something.” She turned away from him; this was all she needed today.

Harm had walked over to where she was standing, and gently touched her shoulder, to turn her toward him. “Yeah…it looks like it was stuck on your thumb.”

“Very funny,” She said, trying to sound irritated. “A case file was sticking up, I straightened it, but it still seems to be catching on something.” Mac could still feel his light touch on her shoulder, though he had already removed his hand. He was standing too close; she could have sworn she detected the scent of his after shave, why hadn’t she noticed before how nice it was?

“Let me see.” He smiled at her, trying to humor her through what seemed to him, to be a bad morning.

“I think I can handle it.” She frowned and started to reach for the file cabinet drawer.

“Look Mac, will you stop fighting me and let me help you, at least with the file cabinet.” He seemed more exasperated than angry.

Mac stepped back from the cabinet and Harm saw that the drawer beneath the one that Mac couldn’t close had a file that was dislodged. He straightened it and closed both drawers, and Mac stood there watching, feeling like a fool.

“There.” He gave her a satisfied grin; at least he could do this for her. She certainly wasn’t allowing anything else.

“Thank you, now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need a cup of coffee.” She was still holding her injured hand in the other.

“Let’s have a look at that hand.” He was stepping in, even more closely to her, reaching for her hand, her thumb was throbbing and already starting to discolor. Thank God he wasn’t looking at her face because all she could so was look at his mouth. She had always loved his mouth; she had spent a great deal of time, thinking about his mouth in particular, just this morning.

“It’s just my thumb. I’m fine.” She shook herself inwardly, what the hell was she doing?

She needed to get away from him, fast.

“Mac…” He held her hand in both of his and Mac could hear her heart beat pounding in her ears.

“No… really. I’m fine. I can handle it.” She walked swiftly around him and out of her office.

She wasn’t sure if she had ever gotten across the bullpen that quickly before. ‘Please don’t follow me, Harm,’ she tried to telegraph it to him. They had always been connected; she prayed that this time, he would the get message. Mac knew if he didn’t leave her alone she was going to make an absolute fool of herself. Keeping her feelings for him at bay had almost become second nature to her, especially the strong physical attraction she felt when he was close to her.

In truth, those feelings had been easier to bury than the feelings of love she had for him. She still felt that love, but the appearance of Alicia Montes had dashed any hopes she had of Harm returning those feelings, once and for all. So she would fight them, just like she was fighting this…what was this, anyway? He had never been able to affect her this way, at least, not in a way that she couldn’t shake off.

No worries now, it didn’t matter what she felt; Alicia was in Harm’s life now. Who knew? Maybe she could get a handle on her feelings, if she could just get through this day.

She had finally given in the other night and decided to go to Harm’s apartment to talk, to try to move forward with him. When Mac saw that Alicia was there, she saw that Harm had moved on, and she knew that she couldn’t blame him.

Now, while she accepted that it was too late for a relationship with Harm, her body seemed to decide on its own that she still needed him, badly. In fact, knowing that they would never be together now, in any way, made the thought of being with him, that much more compelling. She couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone so much as she had wanted Harm in the last few of days. Knowing that this made no sense and that it was too late, didn’t keep Mac from feeling this way, no matter how hard she tried to fight it.

She walked into the break room and poured her coffee. She took a drink of the strong brew and tried to will herself to think of something else.

Harm had followed her and could see Mac from the doorway of the break room.

He wondered what had been wrong with her today He hadn’t seen her this distracted in a long time. She didn’t seem angry with him, but she didn’t seem to want to be in the same room with him either. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked her about her heart the other day, he hadn’t meant to push, but she seemed to be in so much pain. She had become even more distant, and so within herself that she was becoming nearly unrecognizable. He wanted his old Mac back, he knew it was unrealistic, but he wanted it, anyway. He wanted to hear her laugh, and to see the light in her eyes again, he had missed it so much.

“Mac?”

Mac was so startled that she dropped her coffee cup, shattering it on the floor. “Damn it.

I can’t believe this, I can’t hold on to anything.”

She wheeled around and starting opening cabinet doors, trying to find something to cleanup the mess. Harm stepped over the mess and placed his hands on her arms.

“It’s okay Mac, I’ve got it.” He spoke into her ear.

“I can do it.” Mac set her jaw, willing away the effects of his nearness.

“Let me.” Harm let go of her arms and took one step backward, giving her some space as he felt her body stiffen to his touch.

Mac turned around and looked up at him, their faces just inches apart. “Harm, I’m not a child, I think I can….handle…” Her words died in her throat, as her focus went from his eyes to his lips, he was so close, and it took all of her control not to lean toward him. She averted her eyes suddenly, hoping he didn’t see how much she wanted and needed him.

“I know, just let me help. I don’t know what’s going on with you today; you don’t have to tell me. Just go back to your office, before you hurt yourself.” Harm looked back at the pieces of her cup, scattered on the floor, Mac could end up cutting herself, at the rate she was going this morning.

She looked up at him again, unaware that it would be her first mistake, because Harm did see what the difficulty was this morning.

He had nearly given up hope. The reason she was so uncomfortable with him was that she wanted him. More than that, she needed him, given how off balance she seemed today. He wanted more than just want and need but he would take this, for now. His gaze softened as he looked into her eyes, dropping his voice to almost a whisper. “I…uh, I’ve got this.”

Mac looked away, the sound of his voice turning her insides to jelly. “Fine.” She had meant to sound curt but in reality, had barely made a sound at all. She walked out of the break room and back to her office, hardly showing her face to anyone all day, least of all to Harm. Thank God she didn’t have court today.

Harm, for his part, had been watching her office all day, waiting to get another glimpse of what he was sure he saw in her eyes, as they stood face to face in the break room. He sat with his elbows on his desk, rubbing his hands together slowly, trying to figure out the best way to approach her ….and he was going to approach her…. there was no doubt in his mind.

She was fighting this, whatever she was feeling for him, fighting with all she had, from what he had observed, and…she was losing. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.

Still deep in thought, he wondered, ‘why is she fighting this?’ He’d made it clear, he would always be there for her, that he want more than to just ‘look in’ on her life.

Harm made a decision, at that moment; he decided that if it was a fight Mac wanted, it was a fight she would get, though not the kind she had always expected from him.

Later that day….

1715

JAG Ops

Fall Church, Virginia

When Mac was sure everyone had left JAG Ops, she opened the door, locked her office and slipped out of the glass double doors. She had been able to avoid Harm the remainder of the day, she had only to get out of the parking lot and she was home free.

Mac walked down the steps in front of the building and a familiar voice, coming from somewhere behind her, caused her to stop where she stood. “Harm.” She said under her breath, damn it, he had waited for her.

When Harm caught up with her, they began to walk toward her car, with Mac never quite looking up at him. He was able to get a few steps ahead of her after she clicked her automatic key entry, and open her car door. “Mac…we need to talk.”

Mac tossed her briefcase onto the passenger’s side of the car and turned and looked toward him, her eyes not quite meeting his. “Not now, Harm.”

Harm stepped back, giving her a lazy smile, “Maybe, not now, but we are going to talk, and sooner than you think, Mac.”

Mac could not resist the smile in his voice and looked up at him. He looked down into her eyes and then at her lips. Her lips automatically parted and she felt herself lean toward him.

Harm wanted nothing more than to touch them with his own. “Mac.”

When she heard him speak her name, she came to herself. “I have to go.”

She got into her car, started it and backed out of her parking place, immediately, never once allowing herself to look back at Harm.

Harm watched her go and spoke his thoughts aloud. “We will talk Mac, tonight.” She was doing what she always did, she was running.

In this fight, his opponent had shown a weakness, and because he intended to be a worthy opponent, he would take advantage of it. After all, in a fair fight, each opponent does everything they can…to win, and Harm fully intended to win…Sarah Mackenzie.

2 hours later….

Mac stood in her kitchen, looking into her open pantry. She was hungry, but nothing looked good, maybe she wasn’t really hungry at all, not for food anyway. She had come home and taken a shower, a bath was definitely out of the question. Chuckling to herself, she closed the pantry door and took her teapot from the stove top and began to fill it with water.

‘You know, God has a sense of humor’ she thought. When she was younger, she had always been the one who was trying to avoid being, how should she say it, pursued…sexually. Leave it to God, or Mother Nature or whatever to make a woman’s sexual peak in her late 30’s early 40’s and a man’s in his late teens and early 20’s.

She was thanking her lucky stars that Harm was oblivious to what was going on. Just now, she thought, if Harm showed up at her apartment, she wouldn’t be responsible. She still felt an overpowering need for him, if it hadn’t been already dark by the time she got home from work, she would have tried to run it off. Running after dark in DC was not a good idea.

Now all she had to look forward to was another sleepless night. ‘Damn it, Harm.’ She thought, ‘why can’t you be ugly?’ She could still see every detail of his shoulders in her minds eye, the narrowness of his hips, the way those white, navy issue trousers fit…everywhere…she had even found herself looking at his hands as he opened a file during staff call.

Maybe she needed to get a TAD assignment somewhere. She laughed out loud at herself, she really was pathetic.

Just then, the sound of her door bell pulled her from her reverie. She walked up to the door and looking through her security lens, and saw Harm standing there. She stepped back and rested her head on the door. “Oh…no.” She was in real trouble now.

Harm heard her say something through the door. “Mac?”

‘Great, he probably heard me.’ She stepped back and opened the door. “Hi.”

“Hey, I just wanted to come by.” He stepped closer to her, but not quite inside the door and said. “You had me a little worried today.” He looked directly into her eyes. “You okay?” She couldn’t hold his gaze… ‘Good,’ he thought.

“I’m fine.”

They both heard the whistle of her teapot, from the kitchen. “I’m making tea, would you like to come in and have some?”

“Thanks….that sounds nice.” He stepped in and closed the door behind him. Instead of waiting in the living room, he decided to follow her into the kitchen.

Mac reached up into her cabinet and took down two cups, she took a couple of tea bags from a jar on her counter and tried very hard to look interested in what she was doing. Instead she thought of how handsome Harm was, how very sexy he was, her attraction to him was literally making it hard to breathe.

She was standing in her stocking feet and Harm stood just a couple of steps away. He seemed to tower over her, in a way that was not threatening, but instead, made her want to come closer to him, step into his arms and feel his strength…all around her. Her love, want and need of him was overpowering.

Harm took another step closer to her and asked, “Are you ever going to tell me, Mac?”

Mac turned to look at him and began to step backward, he was too close and she knew she couldn’t hold out much longer. He followed, closing the distance with every step, until Mac had backed herself into the corner of her kitchen. Mac swallowed hard and asked. “Tell you….what?’

Harm leaned down, so that his face was just inches from hers. “Tell me what you want.” His voice was low and more than suggestive.

Mac looked down, willing herself not to look into his eyes, fearing he would know. He would know that she loved and wanted him, so much she could barely stand it. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Harm reached between them and tipped up her chin. He narrowed his eyes, not allowing her to look away. “You know.”

Mac gave up, he knew, he had to. She needed him, with every fiber of her being. “I…Harm…I need…”

He didn’t let her finish, his nipped her top lip, and then her bottom.

Mac felt any semblance of control, leaving her, unable to stifle her soft sighs in reaction to every touch of his lips, every sound she made telling Harm everything he wanted to hear. He covered her mouth with his, his tongue plunging deep into her warm and waiting mouth. She clung to him, her hands finding their way up his strong back, making Harm’s head spin as the blood rushed from the top of his head down to where his need for her was becoming more and more apparent.

He wasn’t close enough; he needed to get closer to her. He lifted her and sat her on the counter, pushing her legs open to make room for him to get closer to the place that he knew she needed him. He needed her too, god…. how much.

Mac felt every reaction in her body and in his, she had been afraid that she had let herself become so needy, so hot for him, that she would embarrass herself if he ever came near her. Now she saw that he was nearly as crazy to have her, as she was to be with him. He may not love her, but his need for her, matched what she was feeling, he couldn’t deny that now.

As though he had heard her thoughts Harm told her, “Mmmac…I do need you…I have…for, God…so long.” He plunged down, tasting her neck with open mouthed kisses. “But…you have to know….this.” He came up for air and looked directly into her eyes. “I love you Mac, and I’m not going away, not ever.”

Mac took his face in both of her hands. ‘I don’t want you to go away…”Harm returned to her neck, his teeth barely grazing the sensitive skin there. “I…” He was taking her breath, “Harmmm, I…love...you.”

Mac’s words seemed to increase his desire, as he pulled her body more tightly to his, pushing his need for her, hard against her. “Baby…I want to see you. I want to see you…now.”

He leaned back just enough for Mac to pull her shirt up and over her head, her breasts falling freely as Harm took them into his mouth and with that action, took all coherent thought.

The kitchen had been slightly cold, and Harm’s warm mouth over her already taut nipples, increased her sensitivity tenfold. He was as she dreamed he’d be, he was lifting her off of the counter and he growled with pleasure, with every touch he gave and every touch he received.

Mac felt an orgasm coiling deep inside her. They were both still half dressed, and she knew she was already wet, her body aching for him. Lately, the sound of his voice was all it had taken to begin her body’s reaction to him. Now, his touch on her body, his mouth, teasing her nipples, just as she had seen it in her most secret fantasy, caused her body to begin shuddering, the warmth flooding deep inside her. “Harm…you making me…I’m...I’m already.”

“Hey…don’t get too far ahead of me.” He pulled back from her and grinned at her wickedly.

Mac kissed him and he lowered her back down to the counter. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble catching up…and I want to see you too.” She began to pull his shirt up and over his head.

There he was, Mac’s eyes taking in what she had been dreaming of, his shoulders and chest, broad and muscular; she couldn’t resist running her fingers lightly over him. She smiled as she saw his chest rise and fall as his breath became short and his nipples tightened in reaction to her touch. “Mmm, I’ve been wanting to do that” She looked into his eyes. “All day.”

“Come on; I want to see more.” He pulled her back into his arms and nipped her lips, their bodies naked to the waist, and with each brush of skin to skin, their level of arousal kicking up another notch.

He lifted her off of the counter as if she were weightless and she allowed him to carry her, full on. He didn’t miss a step as he carried her to the bedroom and he laid her on the bed. He followed her down, grinding himself into her, and Mac, having lost all her pride as soon as he took her in his arms, couldn’t keep from pleading with him. “Harmm, I need you…inside.”

Harm lifted his body up and began to divest himself of the rest of his clothing, as Mac got up onto her knees, in the middle of the bed. “What else do you want to see?”

Harm stood in front of her as she slowly slipped one side of her pants below one hip and then the other.

“Mac….you’re killing me.” He looked helpless, but only for a moment as she lay back on the bed for him, waiting.

“Come to me… you want me.” She lifted her arms to him, in invitation.

“Yes…I do…and you want me.” He stepped up to the bed and sat down beside her, his warm hands expertly stroking her from her head to her feet. Her body writhing with each touch, her lips begging for him to come to her.

He finally gave in to what he had been fighting from the moment he stepped between her legs in the kitchen. The need to be one with her, inside her, to love her in a way he had only dreamed of. He framed her face between his forearms and lowered himself down to her. Mac’s body involuntarily pushed against him and just the touch of his tip inside of her warm wetness nearly sent them both over the edge. ‘Uh…yeah. Mac.”

“Hmm, more…now”

Harm began to slowly, ease himself in, giving her time to accommodate him. Each stroke taking both of their breaths away, pushing them higher, making them want more.

Slowly, Harm began to increase the pace of each stroke, making Mac’s body react with every movement. She was melting around him and he kept driving her on. Mac felt her body climbing, and for reasons she couldn’t explain, she kept holding on, trying to get control of herself. What she felt in her heart, what he body was feeling was consuming her and it frightened her. What Mac didn’t understand was that she had Harm completely, he was hers, for whatever she needed... anyway she wanted it. She had only to ask.

Harm felt her tighten around him and he also knew she was trying to fight it, “Mac…baby…let go.” He plunged himself deeper, taking her breath.

‘Harmm... I’m…uh…I’m scared.”

“I know.” Harm placed his hand in the small of her back and tilted her body to meet his.

“Hmmm…oh God…” She felt the tight hold she had on her heart slipping but her fear still had a firm grip. “What… if you stop….loving me? I don’t think I could stand it.”

Harm slowed down and reached up with one hand as he continued to sensually thrust inside her. He turned her face so that they were eye to eye. “I can’t stop Mac. I don’t want to anymore.”

He rested his weight on one arm and dipped his head down, taking her mouth with his, still not able to get enough of her. He reached down with his other hand lifting her leg and her bottom up off of the bed. Breaking the kiss, he tasted her neck, murmuring low in her ear. “Come on Mac…give me what I want. Don’t fight me….please.”

With his words, Mac did let go, she let her body spiral up, matching him with every stroke. Harm knew the moment she began and his automatic reaction was to pound himself into her for all he was worth, his release was coming…one he had been waiting years for…with her.

Mac’s body began to tighten around Harm, almost unbearably. “Hhh…mmm, I’m...”

She was close…so close.

The sound of Mac’s voice, thick with desire, was all he needed; he felt his release rush up and out, as hers flooded over him, his lower back nearly snapping with the power of it, his reaction rumbling from deep inside his chest. “Uhhh, baby…yeah.”

It took a few moments for them to come back to earth; they didn’t want to break the spell, because they loved where they were. They were connected, body and soul. Harm rolled to his side and took her with him. They lay facing each other; Harm reached over and kissed her lips, still swollen from the passionate kisses that brought them to this place. “No more fighting this”

Mac grinned at him, kissing him back. “Oh, I don’t think I’ll be fighting this…ever again.”

Harm pulled her more closely to him, kissing her hair at the crown of her head, when a mischievous smile spread across his face.

“I have to admit though….this was some fight, Mackenzie.”

FIN

A/N: Yes I know, pure smut, it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything like this, don’t know when I’ll do it again. I’m still gonna blame the HB pics from Valentines Day, or the day after. It’s all your faults Harmy ladies….you’re a BAD influence. (Big wide grin)