Title: Coming home for christmas
Disclaimers: The characters are not mine, nor will they ever be. I promise to return them un*harm*ed!!
Rating: a H/M-Romance
Summary: Takes place while Harm is stationed on the USS Patrick Henry again and Mac is still at JAG but Brumby is out of the picture
Spoilers: Any episode of Jag my work may refer to
Author’s Notes: I apologize for eventual language or grammar mistakes since I’m not a native english speaking person! I hope you’ll enjoy this little adventure of our favourite couple. I’m really looking forward to your feedback, so pleeeaaaase: Feedback would make my day!!!! :-)
The last two months had been awfully long for Harm and Mac. They had I.M-ed a lot and even a few phone calls had been arranged but it wasn’t enough, not anymore. These two had finally realised that there was more than friendship between them and finally both had been able to let go. Mac had been promoted to Lt. Colonel and Harm had almost burst out of proud for his marine whe he had heard the news. Mac had been hesitant to tell him about her promotion. He had still insecurities onboard the ship and she didn’t want to rub his nose into it but when she had found the courage everything went fine. Harm was aware that his choosen designator wasn’t really a boost for his carrier, but he loved it and he felt good, at home. The conversations between Harm and his Sarah had become more and more intimate but the three magical words hadn’t appeared yet, not even in variations, they wanted to look in each other’s eyes while saying *it* for the first time. Somehow it was a lame excuse but they knew their track records and as much as they desired the happilly-ever-after for both of them, sometimes it just seemed to be too good to be true. The more days went by the more anxious both grew. Finally they would be able to hold each other. Two more days and the Henry would be docking at Norfolk on the 22nd December. The annual checkings were due and they would stay until the 15th February. When Harm had heard it, he had beemed with joy. He would be able to be with his Sarah on valentine’s day. Harm was pacing around in his room, driving Tuna, his roommate, crazy. They had overcome their misunderstandings and had become good friends. Harm even shared stories from his first days of flying with the otherrs, *Harm and Keeters’ adventures* soon became their favourite way to brighten a boring day.
“Pappy, the ship isn’t going any faster from you walking around like…THIS”
“Sorry, Tuna, I didn’t realise I was pacing”
“Yeah, sure. Listen, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
“There’s nothing wrong”
“Yeah, and the world is flat”
“It’s nothing *wrong*”
“So what is *bothering* you then?”
“I…”
“It’s about her, isn’t it?”
Harm smiled.
“Yeah, it is”
“So tell me, as I recall you made it quite clear that there’s nothing between the two of you”
“Past tense, Tuna, there wasn’t”
“And now there is?“
“Somehow”
“How can it be *somehow*?”
“It’s complicated”
“Then make it easy”
“I don’t think that is possible”
“Ok, then I’m game for the complicated version. It’s not that I can go very far anyway”
“Ok, but you asked for it”
“Jeez, Pappy, I’m not going to sue you, doesn’t the lawyer in you fade anytime?”
“No I guess not, or are you forgetting to be a pilot?”
“Truce. So tell me”
“Well, we were friends when I resumed flying, but I guess I had feelings for her even then. I needed to be away from her to think clearly, to sort out my feelings and when I was told I could fly again..resume my dream…I’m not making much sense am I?”
“Perfect, go on. I want the whole nine yards”
“Well, we came closer lately, we…agreed that there is more than friendship between us and we want to explore it…”
“Jeez, you do nothing without calculating the risk of failure beforehand”
“What do you mean?”
“If you could only hear yourself! You’re not a lawyer anymore. You’re a pilot, you *do* take risks. Just sweep her up in your arms and act like an flyboy.”
“I don’t want a fling….”
“Not *the* flyboy-way, the *other*”
“The other?”
“Yeah, man, you were out of if too damn long, Pappy. Surprise her, stop acting like everybody is judging you, take her. You know: We come, we see, we con quer”
“But what if she changed her mind?”
“Boy, you got it bad, Rabb. And again, remember you *are* a flyboy, you just don’t let her change it.”
“but…”
“No but, Rabb. Are you that hesitant in the air? NO, and you’re risking your life up there, it’s time to take a risk in your personal life as well.”
“What if I fail?”
“What if you succeed?”
That rended him speechless. Two more days. Two very long days. But Harm wasn’t the only one fighting his nervousness. Mac had her fair share of worrying. She couldn’t concentrate anymore, twice she happpened to daydream during a conference with the Admiral and he wasn’t too pleased.
“Ma’am, the Admiral wants to see you in his office”
“Thank you, Tiner, tell him, I’m on my way”
“Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered, Sir”
She still had to smile at her new rank.
“Please, have a seat, Mac”
“Sir?”
“When did you take your last leave, Mac?”
“Uh…well, three months, twelve days and five hours ago I worked part time while…”
“I didn’t asked that, Colonel”
“Well…I …I guess about six months…”
“NO, eight and a half months ago.”
“Oh”
“Yeah, oh, Mac. I know that you work hard but you happen to show sings of exhaustion. I order you to take leave time. Three weeks from today.”
“But Sir”
“No arguing here Colonel. Go home, rest. We’ll see you at the Robert’s christmasparty but not at JAG HQ, understood?”
“Yes sir”
“Good. Dismissed.”
Mac snapped at attention and left. She knew that the Admiral was right and she wasn’t to disobey an order but what was she supposed to do at home? Normally, Harm should have been home already but the schedule had to be delayed. That was the joy in military life. Jingo was very pleased to have her with him so early. Mac decided to take a bubblebath but soon she was too nervous to rest. So she began to clean her apppartement. Never, not even when she moved in, well especially not then, had it been so clean and tidy except for her desk, it stayed chaotic as always. A black whole like Harm used to call it. She had to smile at that. She missed him. But what would it be like to *be* with him again? And what would the others say? They had agreed to keep his visit a secret, she had said she had a date and the Jag-Family was anxious to get to know *him*. They were in for a big surprise, but what if they failed? What if their feelings betrayed them? Finally Mac decided that her worrying didn’t help anyone so she went shopping. A new dress for christmas and a lot of unhealthy and a few healthy groceries. Harm needed to eat something too but she needed something for her nerves, chocolate and lots of it. Time eventually went by although to Harm and Mac it was tourturing slow. Finally the Uss Patrick Henry was due to arrive at 1100 hours. Mac was so anxious, she arrived two hours early. Harm had shouldered his seabag and was tapping impatiently with his foot. He couldn’t belive how long it took to dock the ship. Tuna and Skates shared a knowing glance and smiled. After what seemed like eternity to both of them, Harm found a way through all the sailors to his Mac. Mac searched the crowd and then her eyes set on *her* flyboy and she started to run towards him. When she reached him, he dropped his bag and took her in his arms spinning her around like a little child. Her feet touched the ground again and instantly their lips met in a loving kiss.Only slowly they became aware of their surroundings and the fact that they had shared their fist *real* kiss. The sailors near them applaused at the unfolding scene and Harm and Mac blushed. He almost jumped when someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was Tuna, he winked at him.
“Come on marine, let’s get out of here”
“I thought you were never going to say it”
Later they arrived at Mac’s appartement.
“Woah, what happened to your appartement?”
“Well…”
She bit her lower lip, a sign which increased his anxiousness.
“Sarah, what’s wrong? Tell me it wasn’t a stalker!”
“No..no..Harm, I’m sorry. I… I had a few problems in concentrationg with the Admiral..”
“Are you ill?”
“No except that I missed you like crazy. Well, he found out that my last vacation was eight months ago so he ordered me home”
“Then I have you all to myself?”
“Yes, for the next three weeks and except the christmasparty”
“Of course”
And he threw her his killer smile.
“But that doesn’t explain the *condition* of your appartement”
“Well…I was too nerous to rest so..I kept myself busy…”
“You were nervous, why?”
“Harm, I ..”
She blushed.
“You wondered how it would be too actually spent time with me didn’t you?”
“Yeah kind of. How do you know?”
“Let’s say Tuna is more relieved to get rid of me than you think”
“So you too?”
“Yeah”
A pregnant pause fell upon them. Then he took her in his arms and brushed her cheek with his thumb. She refused to look at him so he tilted her chin up.
“Hey, now that I’m with you, I think everything is going to be perfect”
“You do?”
“Yes I do”
And then he kissed her again and all their worries went out of the window. They cuddled together and for the rest of the day they lived from love and air. They could have stayed like that until the end of time but unfortunaltety that wasn’t an option. They slept into the next day and Harm brought Mac breakfast to bed. That brought tears to her eyes.
“Oh Harm”
“Hey, don’t cry, you’ll give the corps a bad name”
Nevertheless he brushed the tear away and she had to laugh a little. During the aftenoon Mac brought him up to date with the Jag-family-news. Suddenly both thought about the babydeal but neitherone dared to mention it. Silently both were wondering if they should say *the* words now, but they hesitated and the moment was gone. They watched a movie together and then Harm taught her how to make the veggie lasagna with a lof of kissing. Most of the time he stood behind her, his arms around her guiding her movements and his head nuzzled against her neck. They awoke in each others arms. It had been a while since they and slept that good. It was time to get ready and Harm looked stunning as ever in his mess dress whites and gold wings.
“Are you ready, Sarah?”
“Coming”
Harm couldn’t breathe anymore when Mac came out of the bedroom. She wore the new dark blue silk dress she had bought. The dress had a low cut back and the front showing just the beginning of her decolté. Additionally she wore high heels and small diamond earrings.
“Oh my god, Sarah, you …you look gorgeous”
“Thanks, you’re not so bad either”
“Shall we go?”
“Yeah, they are probably going nuts aboou my mysterious date”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to see their faces”
Shortly thereafter they arrived at the Robert’s residence with everyone else already present. Mac went to knock and soon Harriett opened the door.
“Merry christmas, Colonel, Commander…COMMANDER?!” she squealed.
“Merry Chrismas Harriett. Can we come in?”
“Oh..yeah…of course”
Totally stunned Harriett guided them to the living room where the rest had already been seated. For the next twenty minutes Harm and Mac had to explain their little surprise and everyone took time to get up to date with Harm’s newest adventures. Neither Harm nor Mac told them about the developments between them. Firstly they couldn’t yet put in into words and secondly for now they just wanted to keep it between them, not to have to share their feelings just yet. As usual the party was awesome and they had incredibly much fun. For an hour Harm excused himself and went to the wall, his christmas tradition. He just needed to be with his dad.Even more now that he had returned to flying. When Mac awoke the next morning Harm was already awake studying her itensively.
“Morning Harm”
“*Good* morning, Sarah”
It had already become a habit to share a breathtaking kiss after awakening. Harm then pulled out a nicely wrapped present.
“This is for you”
“Oh Harm”
Her eyes were glistening with tears and impatiently she unwrapped the package. Inside she found a silver necklace with an oval medallion. She traced it with her fingers and found a clasp to open it. Cautiously she did just that and revealed a mini-picture of the two of them from little AJ’s christening.
“Oh Harm, it’s amazing…I love it”
“I’m glad you like it”
“I don’t *like* it, I *love* it”
She kissed him deeply. He then handed her another, bigger and soft package.
“Anotherone for me?”
“Yeah, I couldn’t resist”
She opened it and found a teddy bear in pilot gear.
“To keep you company while I’m gone”
“He’s so cute..Thank you so much Harm. This is for you”
And his smile grew even bigger. He ripped the paper away and found a photoalbum and another, smaller present inside. He opened the album and found picutres from his childhood, his father, his academy days, from JAG and from the Patrick Henry and especiall pictures from his various trips with him and Mac. On the last page Mac had written one single word: *eternity*.
“Wow…Sarah…I…”
“Open the next one”
He did as he was told and found a web cam and smiled.
“Thank you Sarah…this is…unbelievable”
“You’re welcome, I thought when you’re back we can see each other while chatting…”
“Sarah, you are the best that ever happened to me in my entire life!”
The next days were incredible for both of them. Never ever had they experienced so much happpiness and ease around the other while being in a relationship. On new year’s eve Harm had planned a little surprise for Mac. He took her to the wall. In front of his father’s name he took a step forward and touched it, then turned to Mac.
“Look at the stars, Sarah”
“They’re beautiful”
“You know, when I was young, I looked up and saw my dad and seeked guidance from them. Do you know what I see when I look at them now?”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“You. I see you”
Tears started to run down her cheeks. It felt so right, so he continued.
“Dad, this is Colonel Sarah Catherine Mackenzie and I love her with all my heart, body and soul.”
He took her hand and looked deep into her beautiful brown eyes.
“I love you, Sarah”
She started to sob and threw herself at him. He took her into his arms and held her close, kissing her soft hair.
“Oh Harm…I love you too”
And they kissed passionately into the new year.
“So any new year’s resolutions?”
“Just one”
“And that would be?”
“To make you happy; Sarah and you?”
“Not to worry so much when you’re up there flying”
They both shared a laugh, knowing that it wouldn’t work eitherway. When she started to shiver he put his jacket around her shoulders and then they headed home. During the next weeks Harm and Mac felt like being in heaven. He took her flying and showed her how to cook. They went out for dinner and went to see movies and simply enjoyed spending time with each other. When her leave time was up he even came to watch her in court and to have lunch with her. As much as they enjoyed being together, they both knew that Harm had to leave sooner than later. But as much as he dreaded that moment and as much as he would miss her, he couldn’t wait any longer to be back in the cockpit of an f-14. Then valentine’s day came, it meant a lot to them it wasn‘t only *their* first valentine’s together as lovers but it would also be their last night together for the next months since Harm had to report for duty the next morning at 0700 hours. Harm had arranged something special for them. He wore the mess dress whites and she a burgundy coloured dress with long arms and a little tail. They drove in silence and Harm had trouble keeping his eyes on the road and away from his Sarah. When they stopped Mac began to wonder.
“What are we doing at the white house, Harm?`”
“Patience is a virtue, marine”
Walking hand in hand he guided her to the rose garden. The guard smiled at them and let them pass with an approving nod.
“What is this all about?”
“About our love and where it all began”
In the middle of the rose garden at the very point where they had met four years prior a blanket was spread and candles forming a heart were lit. Food, non-alcoholic champagne, pillows and Harm’s guitar had been placed on the blanket. Mac couldn’t hold back her tears, it was so romantic.
“I love you Sarah”
“And I love you Harm. This is so beautiful!”
Once they were seated they fed each other and drank the non-alcoholic champagne. After a while they snuggled togheter and just watched the stars in companionable silence.
“I wish this moment would never end”
“I can’t give you that but I promise that it won’t be the last”
“I can live with that”
Both had to smile.
“Harm?”
“hmm?”
“Do it”
“Do what?”
“You know what”
And he leanded over and kissed her.
“That was nice but not what I meant”
“What did you mean then?”
“Well, you didn’t bring your guitar for nothing, so do it”
“Are we gettting a little creedy marine?”
“No, cold”
Mac laughed and Harm wrapped her in another blanket and then he picked up his guitar.
“I heard this song and I find that it suits this moment perfectly. Although we have to alternate some phrases for *us*, I’m singing it in the original version.”
“What is it?”
“It’s from Johnny Logan, ‘hold me now’”
Then Harm started to play and sing, never breaking eyecontact with his beloved marine.
Don’t
Don’t close your heart to how you feel
Dream
And don’t be afraid the dream’s not real
Close your eyes
Pretend it’s just the two of us again
Make believe this moment’s here to stay
Touch
Touch me they way you used to do
I know
Tonight could be all I have with you
From now on you’ll be with someone else instead of me
So tonight…let’s build this memory
For the last time..
Hold me now
Don’t cry
Don’t say a word just
Hold me now
And I will know though we’re apart
We’ll always be together
Forever in love
What do you say when words are not enough?
Time
Time will be kind once we’re apart
And your tears
Tears will have no place in your heart
I wish I
I could say how much I’ll miss you when you’re gone
All my love for you will go an and on and…
Hold me now
Don’t cry
Don’t say w word just…
Hold me now
And try to understand that
I hope that at last you’ll find
What you’ve been searching for
Though I won’t be there anymore
I will always…love you
Hold me now
Don’t cry
Don’t say a word just…
Hold me now
And I will know though we’re apart
We’ll always be together
Forever in love
What do you say when words are not enough?
What can I say now my words are not engough?
Both were crying by the time he finished. They knew that Harm would be the one away and that there would be no other man ergo woman but there was flying and the dangers it held. Harm then took her home. The next moning Mac brought him to Norfolk. They kissed one last time as if there was no tomorrow, well if things went bad they would have to wait ‘til july. They didn’t even try to hide their tears.
“I love you, Sarah”
“I love you Harm”
“I let you know when I have shore leave..”
“….then I’ll see if I can get to you. Be careful up there.”
“Will be”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead, then he turned and walked onboard the carrier, not having the strength to look back. Mac felt like her heart would leave her with Harm. She couldn’t stop crying but she knew it was here he belonged and she had to cope with the situation. She loved him and for him she would be able to adapt to his lifestyle. When the carrier left the harbour she waved it goodbye until it vanished behind the horizon, then she drove to work. She had announced prior that she would come to the office not before noon. The tone in which she had said it had left even the Admiral without the courage to ask why and she knew that no one would dare to ask her about her puffy eyes.
July couldn’t come fast enough for them…
The End (for now)