Title: Someone I Once Knew

Author: Carrie

Pairing/Classification: Harm/Mac Romance

Rating: GS

Summary: This is from an alternate POV. It isn’t Harm or Mac or anyone like Bud or Harriet. Rather, I wrote this in Clay’s POV. Yes, I know, what was I thinking? But I really liked his character (up to Paraguay and Season 9).

Disclaimer: Not mine. All mistakes are mine and I’m sorry.

I hate London.

I really do hate it. It’s always so dreary and rainy. Why she wanted to stop here, I’ll never know because I also know she hates it too.

Mother always preferred France to England, but for some reason she wanted to stop here on our way back from the summer house in Marseilles.

I’m curious to know why she chose this neighborhood too. It isn’t really the sort Mother frequents. Not that it is a slum or anything. Instead of the posh Chelsea district where we keep a home, she wanted to go walking around a rather homey neighborhood with outdoor street markets and remodeled Victorian townhouses.

While she went running off to haggle on a few paintings, I took the time to wander around.

I enjoy watching people. Maybe it is my line of work, but there is something about searching out others’ emotions that appeal to me. For example, the young woman whose face was turning pink at her boyfriend’s accusations of an affair.

She had one and is now lying about it.

Lying is inherent in all humans, yet the belief that what everyone tells us is truth is also inherent in humans. Those two contradictions are very interesting.

Like what happened with Sarah.

For some reason I’ve been drawn to that period of my life a lot in the past year. I keep reliving that horrible moment when she broke all ties to me. She had good reason to. I lied to her and she believed the lie.

I made her into a fool.

Women like Sarah can’t handle that. I know I can’t handle that. Someone like Rabb couldn’t handle it. Which is probably why those two are so suited for one another. Neither would make the other look like a fool.

Turning a corner, I stop dead and stare.

There she is.

I swear it’s her.

What is she doing here? I thought she got promoted to a San Diego position.

She turns and my mouth drops.

Bouncing happily on her chest is a baby. A very happy baby in one of those weird snugly things that strap around you.

Wow. She looks amazing. She looks…happy.

This is the first time I’ve seen her so happy and blissful. I thought she was with me until I realized later one that that was an illusion. She was pretending to be happy and to settle.

If she is this happy, I think I know why.

What should I do? Should I go up to her? Talk to her? Or run away?

The spook in me says to run. But I don’t.

Instead, some strange force has me remaining on the corner, my feet planted to the ground. Jesus Clay, run.

No. I won’t. I want to talk to her.

“Sarah.”

She turns to her name and her smile falters. Her eyes grow shadowed and dark. Is she reliving the year with me? The lies and the deceit that separated us? The hurt and pain that brought us together?

“Clay.”

Her voice is smooth as silk, her smile turned up slightly. The baby on her chest squeals in happiness. At a closer look, I see it is a little boy, dark hair and blue eyes wearing overalls and a red-t-shirt with a yellow plane on it.

So I was right.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” she asks, grabbing one of the baby’s kicking feet. “On a mission or something?”

“Actually I’m waiting for my mother to finish her shopping,” I say. There, I told the truth for once. “What are you doing here?”

She takes a seat at one of the little outdoor café tables. I didn’t even know there was one right there on the corner. After motioning for a cup of coffee, she shrugs. “I live here. Sit.”

I sit.

Her eyes are calculating, the gaze never faltering from mine. “I’m being rude,” she says, almost apologetically. “Clay this is Matt. Matt, this is Mr. Webb. Can you say hi?”

He gurgles and squeals, shaking his fists on the table.

“I think that’s a hi,” she laughs.

I nod and smile as I know it is expected of me. Children make me anxious and I don’t know why. It seems like they’re always watching, always calculating. Children can see people for who they really are and I don’t know if I’m entirely comfortable with that.

“Clay he’s only six months old. He can’t read minds yet.”

Wow. She certainly can.

I look up at her again and notice her hair is long now. Longer than it was when I last saw her. Her eyes are light and happy. My gaze goes down to her left hand, the rings confirming my suspicions.

“How is Harm?” I ask, the catch in my voice revealing how I feel about this whole situation.

She cocks her head and smiles. “He’s fine. How did you know I was married to Harm?”

“Guess. Only he could make you as happy as you are now,” I say quietly. “I tried, but I’m no Harm.”

“You didn’t try Clay. You used me and abused me. I was your girl in port so to speak. The one you came running to each time you were in town,” she hisses, her voice full of the hate she feels for me.

“You hate me.”

Sighing exasperatingly, she brushes her hair back. “I don’t hate you. I thought I loved you. Right now I don’t have an opinion of you. All I know Clay is that believe it or not it is good to see you. Someone I once knew,” she laughs.

The baby, Matt, reaches over and grabs my finger, chomping hard.

I look up at her and then at him. “You’re going to have to get some teeth to really hurt me,” I inform him. What am I doing? I’m talking to a baby.

He grins, showing off two front teeth and the beginnings of more.

She laughs, running a hand over his head. “I’ve actually got another one at home,” she says softly.

“Another baby?”

“I don’t think Mattie would particularly enjoy that,” she says, smiling. “Mattie is our adoptive daughter. She’s seventeen and she was Harm’s ward before he got full custody of her and eventually adopted her. She’s one of the people we named this big guy after. Her and my uncle.”

I forgot about her uncle. He’s the man that set these entire ten years in motion. You could say he’s the reason that Harm and Mac met and he’s the reason I met them.

“I actually have to get going now,” she says softly, taking and paying for her coffee at the same time. “We have to meet Harm and Mattie around the corner. This guy has to get his shots.”

“Uh oh.”

“I know. Sleepless night ahead. That and teething,” she says, sighing. “The joys of parenthood.”

We stand, looking at each other again. “It was good to see you,” I say softly. “I missed you.”

She nods and smiles slightly. “Well Clay I can say that I didn’t miss you, but it was good to see you all the same.” She leans forward and gives me a one armed hug, kissing my cheek. I hug her back and kiss hers.

Matt pushes me away, obviously protective of his mother. He has a little frown on his face, almost like what Harm gets when he’s confused.

“I think he’s wondering why you’re hugging someone that isn’t Daddy,” I comment, gesturing to his face.

She looks down and smiles. “He’s Harm’s son. He has a perpetual frown.” She smiles some more and picks up the bags at her feet. “I’ll see you around Clay.”

With one more smile and a small wave, she turns and walks away.

I watch her leave, knowing that this is the last time I’ll ever see her, only turning when she’s out of my sight and around the corner. As I turn, I see my mother walking up to me.

“Did you get the painting you wanted?” I ask, taking the large wrapped package from her.

She nods and gestures to the corner. “Who was that I saw you talking to?”

I shrug and take her arm. “Someone I once knew.”

THE END