~~~The Video Princess Diaries~~~

“Uh, what about her?” Harm asked, clearing his throat nervously and repositioning his legs. At the same time, Mac exhaled loudly, making it sound like a cross between a desperate sigh and an irritated huff.

Maddie watched their startled reactions.  Well, well, well . . . jackpot, she thought with a raised eyebrow, chewing on the end of her pencil.  Renee’ . . . the one name other than Mic Brumby's that had gotten a rise out of the both of them simultaneously.   I think I've hit the mother-lode, she mused.

Mac tensed.  She knew it was coming—ultimately Renee’ would find her way into their sessions just as all the others had.  Truthfully, Mac hadn't disliked most of Harm's girlfriends, even though she may have had a strong opinion or two. Annie in particular came to mind—she didn't dislike her as much as she had pitied her.  And Jordan—she knew their relationship would never have lasted. Dating a shrink is one thing—but being married AND analyzed would have put him over the edge, in her opinion.

In Renee's case, though, it was easy to make the exception. In the time Harm had dated her, she had managed to not only build the wall between them, she WAS the wall between them.  A tall, blonde wall, with 4 inch heels, lip gloss and nails—those fake, manicured ones like you’d find in Wal-Mart.  Makes you wonder what else is fake, Mac mused with a wicked grin, her cattiness getting the best of her.

Once again, Harm shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, trying to determine exactly where this was heading, besides straight to hell. His relationship with Renee’ was almost as complicated as his relationship with Mac. Of course, a different kind of complicated.

Deciding to take the proverbial bull by the horns, Maddie stated quite matter-of-factly, leaving absolutely zero wiggle room, “It seems that out of all the names I had listed in your file, we haven’t really discussed her yet and I’d like to do that . . . now.”

“Not enough hours in the day for this discussion,” Mac muttered to herself, frustrated with the direction this session was heading.

She didn’t like Renee’ from the word “go”. Obviously, Mac’s “lack of fondness” for her was multi-layered. She had always seen her as a shallow bimbo-type, for lack of a more appropriate word. In fact, Mac had little respect for any woman who used her attractiveness and flirtatious mannerisms as a means to an end. In a nutshell, THAT was Renee’ Peterson. And, when it came to Harm, she had it down to a science.

Harm glanced over at Mac again. He didn’t catch a word of what she had muttered since there was still that chasm of the couch between them. He scrunched his face slightly as he thought about where to begin with Renee’. No matter where he started, he was sure that it would only be a matter of time before things spiraled out of control. Renee’ had a penchant for rubbing Mac the wrong way during his time with her, whether she—Renee’—had known it or not. Harm was certain it was the former. Although she hadn’t been part of his life for over a year now, she still managed to be the primary brick-layer of that wall separating him and Mac.

Resigned to the fact he wasn’t getting out of the room without discussing his relationship with her, Harm relented, asking with a sigh, “Where do you want me to start.”

“How about when you started dating her,” Maddie replied quickly.

Again, Harm shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, as if someone had stuffed the cushions with tacks. “Uh . . . a couple of months after I came back from the Patrick Henry. She was shooting a recruitment commercial for the Navy and . . . I was . . . the . . .”

“. . . poster-boy,” Mac finished the sentence for Harm without missing a beat. Well, not the way he would have finished it, but I finished it, nonetheless.

“. . . subject,” Harm interjected, assertively of course, following it up with a sidelong glance and a raised eyebrow. He took a deep breath, quelling the desire to kick her Marine-ass for the comment.

Mac shot Harm a somewhat forced smile before turning her head to look away and stiffening her posture. Containing these emotions, chaotic as they may be, were becoming more difficult with each waning moment.

Suddenly, Maddie wished that she had just gone for the “basic overview” rather than the “take me back to the beginning” kind of question. She noticed how Mac bristled with every mention of Renee’s name, and now this comment. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that there was some hostility there. She braced herself, wondering if she had just supplied the lit match to a room already filled will gasoline.

Video Princess and the Poster Boy, Mac thought to herself, half amused, half frustrated. She recalled the night she and Mic were sitting in a restaurant and Renee’ came in. I wouldn’t have been there with him had Harm not turned down my dinner offer.

Is that the woman who shot the commercial?

Renee Peterson, bitch director from hell! Am I being too catty?

Yeah, but don't stop!

She cleans up well. Is she alone?

Waiting for someone.

I cannot imagine the kind of guy who would go out with her! He'd have to be a whipped mama's boy who loves being dominated!

You think so?

Yeah, or a pot bellied sugar daddy who promised to finance her big movie!

No.

No, no, you're right. You're right, a mindless trophy boy toy!

You're getting warmer. He's here.

In the ensuing moments, when she described to Mic the type of man who would date Renee’, it never occurred to her that Harm would be that type of man. But what upset her even more—Harm had turned her down for a date with Renee’. She had always wondered exactly what it was he saw in her, other than the obvious.

Harm’s thoughts mirrored Mac. Walking into the restaurant that night and seeing her with Mic just flat out sickened him. Sure, he was having dinner with Renee’. It was all quite innocent, to his recollection. But the next day, jealousy was abundant as they got in each other’s faces about their dates.

How long have you been seeing her?

How long have you been seeing him?

What did you do after dinner last night?

What did you and Brumby do?

That was just the tip of the iceberg, Harm thought. He had wanted to grab Mac by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. Maybe if he had, she would have woken up from that dreamland and let Bugme go back to his home planet or whereever it was he came from.

Somewhat impatiently, Maddie waited for Harm to expound on how he and Renee’ started dating. Even in his silence, she could tell that he was still mulling the relationship over in his head. She hoped she wouldn’t have to fill in the blanks with this girlfriend. And if she did, she could probably hit the facts, point for point—she was sensing a pattern here. Pretty girl shows interest, Harm likes the fun, she wants the commitment, he isn’t the commitment type . . . buh, bye.

Trying to keep the discussion on track and her personal commentary under her hat, she pressed for more information, “What was she like, Harm? What kind of person was Renee’?”

Mac rolled her eyes, unseen by Harm or Maddie. Sitting through the life and times of Renee’ Peterson was now grating on her nerves. Well, it doesn’t take much when it comes to her, that’s for sure, she thought. Had I known that today would turn out this way, I would have locked the doors and stayed in bed.

“Renee’ . . . was . . . well, she was attractive,” Harm said, trying to find the right words to describe her. “And, she had a very outgoing personality . . . she was talented and had a take-charge way about her.”

“So she wasn’t in the military? She was ‘Hollywood’?” Maddie asked curiously, making quotation gestures in the air with her fingers to get her point across.

“Uh, no . . . not military at all. She was a director.”

“Oh,” Maddie responded, surprised. All of Harm’s other girlfriends had some connection to either the military or government, with this exception. This intrigued her, to some extent.

She pressed for more information from Harm, “How long did your relationship last with her?”

Trying to calculate the time in his head, Harm gave it some thought, “It was probably about a year and a half, give or take a month or so.”

Mac hadn’t thought it would last longer than that one night, but to her disappointment, it had. Twenty months too long, she thought, inwardly sighing. That night in the restaurant, she and Harm had made eye-contact, both caught off-guard at the sight of the other with dates. It was a bizarre feeling, at least for Mac it was. In a strange way, it had felt like he was cheating on her—yet they were never in that type of a relationship. She had no basis to feel that way, yet she did.

In her restlessness, Mac had been unconsciously twisting the hairs of Zoloft’s fluffy tail around her fingers. Deciding he had had enough, he loudly voiced his displeasure with her manipulations and jumped off her lap, heading to his favorite hiding place. In his wake, he left a layer of cat hair on Mac’s sweater and a baffled look on her face.

Zoloft’s quick exit left Maddie wondering what THAT was all about. Noticing her puzzled expression, Mac just shrugged her shoulders. Dismissing the incident as Zolly just being Zolly, Maddie continued despite the distraction, “What was your relationship with Renee’ like, Harm?”

Dating Renee’ had started out as fun, Harm recalled silently. She had done most of the pursuing and he didn’t do much to dissuade her. Well, at least not at first. There were a couple of cancelled dates there, mainly because of case assignments. But nothing he had lost any sleep over. In all honesty, had Mac not been with Mic and taken his ring, he probably would have not gone beyond that one casual date with her. Seeing Mac go on with her life, he had felt left out. The longer she was with Mic, the more he felt distanced from her. Gone were the leisurely lunches and the working dinners with his best friend. It left behind an unmistakable emptiness. Sure, he eventually acquiesced to Renee’—after all, she was attractive and fun to be with. She was the diversion he thought he had needed to put his feelings for Mac away. But in his heart, she would never be Mac. The longer time went by, the harder it had become for him to just sever the ties with Renee’.

Drumming her pencil on the note pad in her lap, Maddie watched her client twitch with a certain nervousness and a definite reluctance to speak. She sensed the twenty-question game might again be afoot. However, she was far from the game-playing mood right now and if push came to shove, she’d tell him that in a not so ladylike fashion.

“Harm . . .” Maddie called to him. She wasn’t sure if he was avoiding the answer, or he didn’t know what the answer was.

Mac glanced over in Harm’s direction, but he avoided making eye contact with her. There was no way in hell he could tell them how his relationship with Renee’ evolved. It would certainly sound shallow . . . and to some extent, pathetic. He cleared his throat to find his voice before venturing an answer.

“Renee’ was fun. We had a lot of good times together,” he replied, trying to sound confident with his answer, but falling short.

Maddie picked up on Harm’s tone of voice. He was purposefully glossing over his relationship with Renee’ for some reason. And I’ll bet the farm, it was probably because of Mac, she mused. Oh, this is getting interesting.

“So she was fun? Your relationship with her lasted for a year and a half because she was fun?” Maddie pressed, almost sounding sarcastic in her attempt to glean the information from Harm.

“Yeah . . . I guess,” he stammered, a little flustered by the question. “Don’t most men date women because they’re fun?” This time a slight nervous chuckle found its way out. Not exactly the right phrasing or tone, but it was too late to take it back. Yep, definitely sounded shallow that time Rabb, he thought.

Maddie snorted at his response and countered with one of her own, “So, she never wanted more from your relationship other than just fun? . . . Hmm . . . interesting.”

Harm was caught off guard by Maddie’s counterpoint. He didn’t expect his answer to be challenged. “Uh . . . well . . . she would hint every so often that she wanted, uh, more . . .”

This time Mac was the one who snorted. She could no longer confine her commentary to passing thoughts.

“Those gold wings act like a homing beacon for bimbos.” Getting it all off her chest felt cathartic . . . inappropriate, yes . . . but definitely cathartic.

“Excuse me?” Harm sputtered, suddenly feeling like the only man at a Women’s Rights convention. On most days, that wouldn’t have been a bad thing. By his best perception, today wasn’t one of those days.

Mac recalled the woman that Bobbi had tried to fix the Admiral up with—Caroline something-or-other. In a matter of seconds, Harm was holding court with her and she was hanging . . . no, drooling . . . on his every word. Score one for the flyboy charm, works every time.

“Never mind, Harm. It’s not something you would understand,” she said with an acerbic tone and a wave of her hand.

“Hint how, Harm?” Maddie quickly interjected, ignoring Mac’s comments. She wanted to keep the discussion going before more fur started to fly, and she didn’t mean Zolly’s.

Harm regrouped, “Well . . . she . . .” another pause followed by a frustrated sigh, “I don’t know how, she just did.”

Before Maddie could follow up to his statement, Mac already had the words out. Her disdain for everything Renee’ left the simmer stage and moved on to a full boil.

“You mean to tell me—tell Maddie—that you can’t recall any specifics from your relationship with Renee’? Exactly how shallow are you, Harm?”

“Mac. . .” Maddie interjected, but she went unheard.

“Shallow?” Harm laughed, “You’re kidding me, right? Fine. You want to play that way, let’s do it.” He was now standing, facing Mac at the edge of the sofa, “Let’s talk shallow. How about taking a ring—an engagement ring—from someone you hardly knew?” His own sarcasm caught him off guard, but in a strange way, it also felt incredibly therapeutic.

“Harm . . .” Maddie tried again with the male counterpart of the duo, a little louder than before. Yet again, it went unnoticed.

Suddenly, Mac was on her feet, toe to toe with Harm and in his face, “Don’t go THERE! You have NO idea what the HELL you are talking about, COMMANDER!”

Her anger resonated off the walls, startling both the counselor and the cat hiding behind the desk. She was angry. No, she was pissed. First off, Harm had played the clueless-flyboy when it came to discussing Renee and commitment issues. But then, throwing Mic in her face like that was an act of war—especially considering he really had no clue when it came to her or her relationship with Mic—past or present.

Just as quick, Maddie jumped up from her seat, scattering the papers from their file across the floor. She forcibly stood between the two officers, praying she didn’t get her jaw broke in the process.

“ENOUGH!” She shouted, physically pushing them apart and making it very clear that she meant business. Her swift action caught their attention immediately. Damn it! It’s days like this that I wish I worked at Starbucks! Maddie sighed loudly and watched as the two officers stared at one another before retreating. Mac returned to her spot on the sofa while Harm walked across the room for a glass of water. Neither proffered an apology—of any sort. Yet, their expressions spoke the regret they both felt at their actions.

The counselor smoothed her sweater and then proceeded to quickly gather the papers strewn at her feet, not caring if they were in order or not. Frankly, I would like to heave them in the fireplace right now. “What good are my notes anyway? Those two keep making the rules up as they go along! I swear I am DONE playing nice!” Maddie muttered to herself.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mac watched Harm. He drained the glass of water he had brought to his mouth and it seemed he was now deciding whether he would return to their shared piece of furniture or continue to hold his post on the other side of the room. The guilt she felt at her comments to Harm was churning in her gut. Truthful or not, I shouldn’t have behaved that way, she thought.

Harm was too busy focusing on his next move to notice Mac’s covert observation tactics or Maddie’s frustrated chart gathering. He figured it was at least eight, maybe even six, good strides to the door and he knew he could make it there before either woman noticed. But he was also certain that if he bolted now, his Naval career might be in jeopardy if the Admiral’s orders—counseling or charges—weren’t carried out. Even worse, Mac would be gone from his life for good. This day certainly didn’t turn out as I had hoped it would. Yeah, what I said was hurtful—but so was what she said. Maybe we’re even . . . I don’t know. I lashed out at her . . . I shouldn’t have.

Maddie made a feeble attempt at straightening their file before giving up and tossing the papers on her desk, utterly frustrated. As she strode past Harm to do so, she observed how he sheepishly examined his shoes, avoiding any eye contact with her. Walking back to her chair, she saw Mac sitting silently on her side of the couch, legs crossed and looking anywhere but at Harm. The sadness on her face was unmistakable.

Their actions hadn’t surprised Maddie all that much. She had a feeling that this had been a long time coming between the two, even with their eruption the first day of counseling . . . and the second day too. With any other couple, she probably would have let them have their say before interfering. But with these two—she had begun to view them as more than just clients. It was almost as if she had had a personal stake in their future. Part of her felt like their friend, their confidant. She couldn’t let them get in each other’s face like that. As a friend, she felt she had to intervene. But as their counselor, she should have let it go and see where it would have taken them. Of course, she knew it wouldn’t have gotten beyond a few choice words.

Having had the time to regroup, Maddie motioned to Harm, “Please sit down and let’s discuss what just happened.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, frustrated, and poured another glass of water.

“Without the hostility . . . please!” Maddie said firmly, of course the emphasis was on the “please,” for what it was worth.

Mac looked in Harm’s direction, watching as he took yet another drink. He set the glass down and turned toward the couch. Briefly, they locked eyes, before Mac broke the connection by looking away. With a sigh, Harm proceeded to sit down and get comfortable. He found himself wishing he could go back to the times they were close, and sniping and harsh words rarely, if ever, happened.

The three of them sat there for what seemed an eternity. Maddie knew her only recourse was to proceed with the session. It was in all of their best interest to discuss what had occurred and work to a resolution. Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if there ever would be a resolution for these two. If she could just get them to talk—like adults—that maybe they stood half a chance. Right now, she would be happy if they finished the session with minimal bloodshed. With a sigh—and without her notes—Maddie was the first to break the silence.

“Harm . . . you have established that your relationship with Renee’ was fun, right?”

“Yes,” was the terse, mono-syllabic response from the man on the couch.

“Mac . . . you seemed to feel that his relationship with her was shallow, right?”

“Yes,” the woman on the couch said, mimicking the man’s response.

“Harm . . . your relationship with Renee’ lasted over a year and a half. At what point during this relationship did you think she wanted a commitment from you?”

His silence hung in the air like a dense fog. Resigned to finish what they had started, he gave thought to Maddie’s question. He was certain that Renee’ started wanting a commitment about the same time that Mac and Mic were planning their wedding, although he truly had no evidence.

Deciding to generalize the time frame, he replied with a sigh, “A few months into our relationship, I guess.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mac shift her position on the couch, yet she remained quiet.

“Was there any discussion about commitment or the future?” Step by step, inch by inch. Maybe playing the twenty-question game could work to my advantage, Maddie wondered.

Harm rubbed his brow with a pensive look, “Uh, not really. She would just spend more and more time at my place—mainly weekends, sometimes longer. But, if you’re asking if we talked about it, then no. It just seemed to end up that way.”

“So there was never any discussion about moving in together—it just happened?” Not that Maddie thought this was uncommon. But, in her opinion, letting someone move in without discussion implied some sort of commitment, whether Harm had realized that or not. Maybe he had just relented . . . enough nagging could do that too, Maddie thought.

“Yeah, I guess.” His answer sounded more like a question. Perhaps he had just let Renee’ “happen” in his life, the effort had always been on her part.

Mac had clearly seen during the time Harm and Renee’ had been together how clingy and very demonstrative she was with him. The only thing she didn’t do was hang a sign around his neck saying “Hands Off! He’s Mine!”

To Maddie, it all sounded like Harm allowed Renee’ to manipulate the relationship to her liking, with the hopes of “happily-ever-after” bringing up the rear.

“Earlier, you said she had hinted at commitment—how?”

“Well . . . when Mac made her engagement to Bugme, er, Brumby official, Renee’ had commented on how two people, from opposite ends of the world . . . found each other and were becoming one . . . or something like that. She had called it a miracle.” Harm’s little sarcastic inflection on the word “miracle” flowed unconsciously from his tongue. Talking about Mac and Brumby in that context had always been a bitter pill to swallow.

Sighing, Harm continued, “Renee’ wanted to know when she could have her miracle.”

“What did you say to her?” Maddie asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

“I . . . uh . . . well, we got interrupted when I had to return to court for a verdict. Look, Renee’ was a little neurotic. Hell, she even kept counting the days until Mac got married.”

Before Maddie could respond, Mac turned to face Harm and was speaking, irritation tinting her words.

“A little neurotic? Renee’ counted the days until my wedding like a kid counting the days till Christmas.”

Maddie saw Harm make a face at Mac’s statement and interrupted him before another argument could ensue. “Why do you think she did that, Harm?”

“I think it she did it to get a commitment from me . . .” Harm began, right before Mac cut him off.

“She was jealous,” Mac muttered to no one in particular.

Jealous. Harm rolled the word around in his head, trying to apply it to Renee’. Whenever she spoke about Mac, there had always been an edge to her voice. Unexpectedly, an image from the past danced through his mind. A towel-clad Mac was gliding barefoot across his bedroom, leaning in to kiss him as he lay on his bed. In the split second it took to utter her name, Mac had suddenly become Renee’ and very angry.

Harm, did you just call me, "Mac"?

No.

It sure sounded like that.

Well why would I call you, "Mac"? I mean, I know the difference between you and Mac.

And what would that be, other than the fact that her boobs are bigger?

Saying he was embarrassed was an understatement. Sure, he had been having those visions of Mac, but he had discounted them a result of the blow to his head. But mistaking Renee’ for Mac was a blunder too significant to overlook. Ever since Kate had made mention of Mac as one of the women complicating his life, he began to wonder if his feelings for her were that transparent. Renee’ putting him on the spot didn’t help either.

Are you in love with her?

Oh Renee . . . besides she's getting married in a matter of days.

I know, I've been counting the days, then I can have you and my miracle.

Looking back now, he could say with most certainty that Renee’ was jealous. At the time, it had been easy to dismiss it as ridiculous or some sort of paranoia. Could it have been that Renee’ feared her suspicions would come true . . . or were true?

As Harm opened his mouth to speak, Maddie held up her hand to halt any sort of rebuttal from him. She wanted to hear Mac’s evidence on the jealousy factor first.

“Jealous? That’s an interesting word to use, Mac. Tell me why you think Renee’ was jealous. Do you think she was jealous of you or what you had with Mic?”

Mac didn’t expect to be put on the spot. She hadn’t intended the remark to be heard; it sort of just slipped out. Having to interpret Harm’s relationship with Renee’ wasn’t high on her list of priorities. But Maddie’s question did make her want to put all this Renee’ crap into some perspective.

Sighing, Mac decided to lay it all out for her, for what it was worth.

“Renee’ was jealous of a lot of things but it all wasn’t about what I had with Mic.”

“What was it then?” Maddie interrupted, curious about Mac’s view on the subject.

Mac glanced over at Harm before continuing and made eye contact briefly. She was getting a feeling from him that her assumptions were correct. They both knew it was all about her—all about Mac’s place in Harm’s life as his friend. And, of course, it also involved how or what he felt for her. That, in her opinion, was the root of all of Renee’s jealousy.

“I believe . . . I feel that Renee’ was jealous of the relation, uh, friendship I had with Harm.”

“What do you think would make her feel that way?” Maddie asked with curiosity, hoping it would be the key unlocking the door to a resolution for them.

Not knowing how to answer the question, Mac picked at the cat hair on her sweater first, and then took a deep breath. “I think she envied our friendship for one thing.”

“Do you think that was basis for her jealousy?” the counselor pressed.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask Harm.” Mac said quietly without looking up.

“Harm . . . what do you think?” Maddie asked.

Hesitantly he replied, “Maybe”. He knew that Mac was right, but he didn’t come out and directly say she was.

Maddie mentally started piecing together the timeline for all this. With her notes strewn across the desk, she had to rely on her vivid recall of their past sessions for her information. If her memory served her correctly, Renee’ and Harm had been together about the time Mac was supposed to marry Mic. And, it was about that same time Harm had crashed into the ocean—trying to get back for a wedding that never happened.

But . . . there was something else about all this. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was there. It had to be from one of those times that Harm and Mac went off on a tangent about their relationship. Think, think, think . . . it was something Harm had said . . . something about . . . the night Mic left—that’s IT!

Maddie suddenly remembered the conversation—Mic left, Harm asked Mac to come to him and then he made her go away because of Renee’ . . . her father had died. Could this have been a turning point in their relationship? Could this one moment have changed the dynamic of . . . of everything? But, when did Harm end it with Renee’? How did that fall into this picture? Maddie was reeling—that last puzzle piece to all this was within her grasp.

Composing herself, Maddie sat up straight in her chair, crossed her legs and then cleared her throat. “Harm,” she began coolly, trying to sound professional while her insides were dancing with glee over her discovery, “When did you break up with Renee’?”

Caught off guard by the question, Harm looked at Maddie wide-eyed. He wondered how she could switch gears so quickly, jumping from Renee’s jealousy into how they broke up. Why would she change the subject like that? I think she’s gone off the deep end this time, he thought, not making the association between the two.

Having not been around all that much then, yet at the same time barely communicating with Harm, Mac truthfully didn’t know the how’s and why’s of the break-up. In fact, she figured she was probably the last to know. But, if she had to pick one thing, she was certain Harm’s inability to commit spurred Renee’ to rethink things with Harm and move on with Cyrus. Having found it all out from Sturgis instead of Harm had hurt her more than she could have imagined—more than she ever let him know.

“When did I break up with Renee’?” Harm restated the question mostly to try to understand whether Maddie was looking for a specific date or a generalization. Of course, a little stalling never hurt either.

“Yes—you said you were together for about a year and a half. Obviously the two of you are no longer together—so that means you broke up, right?” Maddie explained with frustration. Why is it so hard to understand the concept one minus one equals zero?

Harm knew that he and Renee’ would never have had a future in the sense of the wedded bliss she wanted. Knowing it was one thing, actually doing something about it was a whole other ballgame. Letting life happen was easier than making it happen. Consequently, there had been no dramatic finale to their relationship, no grand gestures on his behalf. It had ended just about as passively as it had begun.

But would I have ended it on my own had life not intervened? Was I too much of a gentleman or did I take the easy way out? What would it have taken to tell her that there was no future for us?

What are you willing to give up to have me?  Mic gave up the Navy and his country.  Would you sacrifice your girlfriend?

Harm looked up and saw not only Maddie staring at him waiting for an answer, but Mac as well. He knew he would have given Renee’ up in a heartbeat had Mac just said the word. He had even told her so—except his words had resonated off the cold steel walls of an empty room. She was gone before she could hear his answer.

Why didn’t you tell me about Renee?

Uh, I don’t know, Mac.  It occurred too late to mean anything.

In English, please?

I couldn’t.

She broke up with you?

It’s been over for a while.

I’m sorry.

So am I …. I’m sorry I, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.

Renee’ leaving had truly occurred too late—too late for the grand gesture he thought Mac needed, or better still, deserved. There’s no sense rehashing the when’s and why’s now, I can’t change the past.

“Look, Maddie, it’s been over with for a long time. What does it matter now when I broke up with Renee’?” He was pretty certain that his non-answer was not what she was looking for.

“Okay, if you can’t tell me when, then tell me why you broke up with her,” Maddie pressed, abruptly changing the direction of the conversation in the hopes of getting to the truth.

The emotions Mac had been struggling with through the session erupted in one muttered word, bitterness and all, “Commitment.”

Despite the counselor’s previous warning about hostility, Harm wasn’t about to let Mac get away with that remark—at least not without a fight.

“How would you know why Renee’ and I broke up—YOU ran off to the Indian Ocean to clear your head, if I remember correctly,” Harm countered hotly.

Mac stood up at the edge of the sofa, and pointing at him said, “I went there to get away from YOU!”

Suddenly, Harm was on his feet as well. “You were running away, Mac!”

“That’s YOUR M.O., Harm—not mine! Anyway, why did you follow me to the Guadal? Did you think it would mean something?”

“We needed to talk!”

“Talk? About what, Harm? Huh?” Mac turned her back to him. She closed her eyes tightly to shut out the memory of that day and his response to her ultimatum. What, you're testing me? It always comes down to commitment with him, she thought sadly through her anger.

Harm wanted to grab her and make her face him, but couldn’t. Instead, he answered her question simply, “Us . . .”

Mac spun on her heels, and with laugh retorted, “There never was an us, Harm. See—that’s where you’re confused—it was only ever you and Renee’.”

“Just like it had been you and Mic, right?” Recalling her earlier disclosure about calling Mic, he then added with a desperate sigh, “Some things never change, do they?”

Surprisingly enough, Maddie had been sitting there silently, riveted with their heated debate. No way was she stopping them now, as she had earlier. The dominos were now falling into place, one by one. So many years of misunderstandings and hidden emotions—it was time to lay it all on the line. It was the only way she, as their counselor, could help them. No doubt, Maddie had a bazillion questions dancing in her already overloaded mind. But they would have to come later, as a new agenda suddenly came to light.