~~Analyze What!?~~
Saturday
1355 local
Judging by the address, Mac realized the office was located
in Old Town Alexandria. Driving down
Mac took a deep breath; it was now or never. Her heart raced as she opened the door
slowly, scared to death of what this meeting would bring. She had never experienced “this” before, and
in all actuality, had hoped she never would.
It amazed her how one simple assignment resulted in turmoil that turned
their lives upside down.
Mac was pleasantly surprised as she entered the room. It was not your typical “doctor’s” office
with stark, white, walls and a linoleum floor.
The office reminded her of a Victorian Tea Room. On the delicately wallpapered walls were two
Thomas Kincaid prints depicting life in a bygone era, and a vine wreath
entwined with eucalyptus, dried roses and gardenias. The only exception to the artwork and wreath
was an old needlework sampler with a quotation sewn into the fabric:
“Let your love be
stronger than your hate or anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is
better to bend a little than to break.” -- H.G. Wells
There were no
fluorescent ceiling lights. Soft
lighting came from one of two pewter lamps on the cherry end tables adorning
each side of the small couch. The couch was actually an antique loveseat, with
overstuffed cushions in a subtle ivory and rose-floral pattern. Draped across the back was a chenille throw
in a deep rose hue. An oval coffee table
sat directly in front of the loveseat with a box of tissues and a pewter dish
filled with mints, its cherry wood identical to that of the end tables. The hardwood floor was covered only in the
center by a simple floral, wool area rug, matching the rose-colored hues in the
room.
Mac observed how the
room was quite soothing visually and had a certain
warmth about it. She thought it looked like someplace you would gather with old
friends on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
A leather arm-chair
sat in front of a huge cherry shelf that adorned the one wall. The unit was
neatly arranged with leather-bound books on the top 3 shelves, paperbacks on
the remaining two. Upon closer
inspection, Mac noted that the books consisted of the works of Shakespeare,
some Agatha Christie novels, as well as several well-worn dime-store romance
novels. Mac laughed at the eclectic
selection, wondering just who this friend of Meredith’s was.
The grandfather
clock chimed twice, announcing the hour.
Just as Mac was about to make herself
comfortable, the door on the opposite side of the room opened, and a lovely
woman in her late 40’s entered. She was of average height and build,
with dark, auburn hair mixed with subtle hints of grey. She had pulled up most of it into a twist on
her head, and secured it with a clip.
She wore very little makeup, and a pair of smallish, wire-rimmed
glasses. Her clothes were
neat—consisting of a pair of tan corduroys topped off with a white shirt and
spruce green cardigan. No penny loafers here, on her feet she wore fuzzy pink
slippers, which Mac noticed immediately.
“You must be Sarah
Mackenzie,” she said, extending her hand to Mac.
“Yes. Please, call me Mac. And, you are Dr. James?” Mac asked nervously.
“I am, and please,
call me Maddie. Have a seat, Mac.
I guess I’m not the picture of the
typical psychologist,” indicating her choice of footwear. “A pair of comfortable
shoes is everything!” she said, sitting down across from Mac.
Mac laughed a
little. She started to feel more at ease with her surroundings and with the
counselor they were being forced to see.
Although how comfortable she would be once Harm arrived remained to be
seen.
“I thought there was someone coming with you?”
“Yes, there is, but I’m sure he’s running late, as usual,”
Mac remarked, just as the door flew open and Harm entered in a whirlwind.
“Uh . . . I’m sorry I’m late. I had a difficult time finding a . . .um, a parking place.”
Mac rolled her eyes, suspecting that Harm was probably
driving around looking for a way out rather than a parking spot. This expression was not lost on Harm, who
shot her an annoyed look. Their
non-verbal behavior was well noted by Maddie, who wondered what the hell kind
of bees’ nest she was getting into.
“You must be Harmon Rabb,” Maddie said, standing up from her
seat and extending her hand in greeting, “I’m Dr. Madeline James; you can call
me Maddie. I’m not very formal; I like
to keep a casual environment. I find it
facilitates open discussion and honesty.”
Harm shook her hand, “Pleased to meet you, Ma’am. And, it’s Harm,” he said with a reserved
half-smile that Mac likened to a cat with it’s back arched, before the hissing
and scratching began.
“Seeing as we are already four minutes behind in our
session, let’s retreat to my office to begin.
Shall we?” she said, opening the inner door to enter a more private
room.
Mac stood up and maneuvered around the coffee table in an
attempt to make her way to the other office.
It was at the exact same moment that Harm likewise began to move in the
same direction, both “meeting” at the end of the coffee table, toe to toe. Harm, being ever the gentleman, even in this
situation, motioned for Mac to proceed ahead of him. With a nod of her head, she acknowledged him
and continued on her way across the room and through the other door. Harm followed behind, close enough not to
“get lost”, yet not too close.
The office they entered was decorated similarly to the outer
room, with a sofa instead of a love-seat.
The mate to the leather chair was also in here, as well as another
set. The furniture was arranged in front
of a fireplace, making the room cozy and intimate. A cherry, antique desk sat in front of two,
floor-to-ceiling windows. Book cases
lined the room, most likely filled with psychology journals and text books,
Harm speculated. All the more to analyze
us with, he thought.
Maddie walked over to her desk to retrieve a file and a
yellow legal-type pad, not dissimilar to those they used in the
court-room. She was already making her
way to the leather-clad chair by time Harm and Mac entered the room.
“Please, make yourselves comfortable,” Maddie said,
motioning to the couch. Mac immediately
complied; Harm, on the other hand, made it known he’d rather stand right now;
again using that “cat smile” that Mac was beginning to despise.
Sensing his uneasiness, Maddie began by offering them
something to drink. They both
declined. At that, she said, “Let’s
begin. I’ll start by telling you what I
expect you will get from these sessions.
Then you can tell me what you want to get out of our time together.”
Mac nodded her agreement, accompanied by a quiet, “OK”. She turned her head to catch Harm’s
reaction. He was leaning on the door
frame with his arms crossed. He nodded
his head likewise, however uttered no verbal agreement. What I’d like to get is
out of here, Harm thought; the closer to the door, the quicker the exit.
“Good,” Maddie responded before delving into the business at
hand. “First of all, I want you to come
here with an open mind. Think of me as
the mediator. The sessions generally
last about forty-five minutes to an hour.
We will always begin with a brief synopsis of what we covered before.”
Maddie watched them carefully as she talked. Mac seemed genuinely interested in what was
being said. Harm seemed like he was
being put out. She was getting a feeling
he was going to be less than receptive to these sessions.
“Now I just have a few questions for both of you. It will lay some groundwork for our sessions
and give me basic information. First,
how long have you been married?”
Mac barely had the words “we’re not” out of her mouth before
Harm started coughing violently from his “post” by the door. Mac was embarrassed and amused at the same
time by her partner’s vocalizations.
“Are you OK, Harm?” a concerned Maddie asked, getting him a
glass of water. All he could do was nod his head that he was fine. “Maybe you’re coming down with something?”
“He came down with something a long time
ago—commitment-phobia,” Mac said to herself amusedly. Harm didn’t catch everything she said, only
the last two words and nearly spilled the water Maddie had given him. He shot her a look that could have been taken
as a threat any other time; except his face was beet red from coughing, causing
him to bear a striking resemblance to “Bill the Cat” from the Opus cartoons, in
Mac’s opinion. Finding humor was the
only thing saving her from wanting to run screaming from the room.
Harm composed himself and took a long sip of water, as
Maddie re-settled herself in her chair.
She looked at both of them curiously.
“So the answer to my question of how long you have been
married is . . . . . “
Since Harm was still in no shape to answer, Mac said, “We’re
not married,” calmly, with ever the slightest hint of sadness that only another
woman could detect.
“It’s OK to be divorced.
Many couples reconcile and remarry each other . . . . . “
“Um, we were never married,” Mac continued, speaking for
both of them since Harm was still sputtering.
“Alright . . . . . . Never married,” Maddie wrote on her
tablet. “That’s OK too. Living together . . . . .” Maddie proceeded.
Harm finally had enough.
In a somewhat raspy voice, he managed to utter loudly, “We are NOT a
couple. We DON’T live together. We are co-workers, partners, and FRIENDS! Nothing more! Now, can we get on with things,
PLEASE?”
The initial humor Mac found was gone. Harm’s indignant response was enough to make
her want to leave—immediately—but she didn’t.
His words were like knives to her heart.
Keeping her emotions in check she turned to Harm
and said, “Look. We HAVE to do
this. Will you PLEASE sit down and shut
up!”
Maddie watched as he awkwardly complied. Harm knew he was being an ass, but he didn’t
think Mac would “call” him on it in front of someone they didn’t know. He moved to the couch and sat at the opposite
end, away from Mac without uttering another word.
“Well, we’re off to
an interesting start,” Maddie commented to no one in particular. Setting her pen down, she sat quietly for a
moment, absorbing what had just transpired between Harm and Mac.
“So, you’re not married, were never married, and are not
living together, did I get that right?”
Mac turned her head to look at Harm without saying anything,
leaving it up to him to respond.
“Yes, that is correct,” he said matter-of-factly before
taking a sip from his glass.
Maddie knew she’d have to ask her next question
eventually. She thought for a moment
before phrasing her words carefully, “How long have the two of you been
together in a committed relationship?”
Mac replied to this one, “We aren’t together.” This time Harm picked up on the tone of Mac’s
voice. It had a familiar ring to
it—similar to “We’re getting too good at saying good-bye”. He wondered what the hell happened to bring
them to this point.
Maddie sat there with her head swimming. Here was this “couple”—and she was using the
phrase lightly—that had some type of connection between them. Not married, not living together, not
committed to one another, yet sitting here in her office to be counseled as a
couple. They had to be in some type of
relationship, no matter how dysfunctional, to get them here. She had caught the little hint of sadness in
Mac’s voice earlier when she answered the “married” question. She could tell that there was something going
on beneath the surface, even if it didn’t involve a gold band and
promises. But getting to that was like
playing 20 questions. And with each
question she asked, the more confusing it became.
Wanting
an end to the 20 questions thing, Maddie decided it was best they jump right to
lesson 2—why the hell are you here, rather than analyze a situation that read
like “War and Peace” with extra chapters.
“I want you to tell me exactly what your relationship to
each other is.”
Simultaneously they responded, “We’re best friends”.
The fuzzy picture suddenly became crystal clear. They were in love with each other and didn’t
know how to say it, let alone show it.
She smiled at the thought. No
wonder AJ said his friends required an “intervention”. Well, there is only one “intervention” they
need—I’ll just lock them in a room together and have them go at it for a few
days and bang, zoom, cured! Maddie
chuckled, causing her clients to quizzically look at her. She quickly refocused, saying, “Good.
Something you both agree on. This is an
excellent place to start. Now, I want to
know why you both are here.”
Mac could almost hear Harm saying “because the Admiral told
us to” like a grade-schooler sent to the principal’s office for bad
behavior. She opened her mouth to give
her opinion as to their presence, but Harm was already speaking.
“We’re here because we can’t get along,” was his solemn
response to Maddie’s question.
Mac was taken aback.
She thought for sure she’d be the one doing all the talking, while Harm
sat there wasting the 45 minutes. Well,
wonders never cease, she thought. Maybe
there is a heart under those dress whites and gold wings, she murmured to
herself.
“Mac, any comments?” Mac was still
lost in thought when Maddie posed the question to her, catching her off
guard.
“Um, it’s beginning to cause problems at work,” Mac said,
remembering their little tirade in Sebring’s court-room.
“Beginning?” Harm was bristling at
Mac’s comments. “Where the hell have you been?
It’s been causing problems.”
Resisting the urge to strangle him, Mac glared at Harm. She silently took back her previous notion that he had a heart before raising her voice, “You mean YOU have been causing problems!” Mac struggled to maintain her self-control, which was diminishing by the second. “I am NOT the one who behaved like a . . . a . . . CHILD at Bud and Harriet’s, Harm! The world does not revolve around you!”
Harm chuckled sarcastically, “Well, you let your one-time stint as judge go to head!”
“You obviously resent me,” Mac said, even-toned.
“And you have no faith in me,” was the response from Harm, equally serious.
His statement made Mac catch her breath. She remembered a time when she used the exact same phrase with Harm after he said it was obvious that she resented him. Mac sat there on the couch, very still and very silent. This rift clearly didn’t just happen; maybe it’s been going on longer than we imagined, Mac thought to herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harm rub his eyes, frustration evident on his face.
Maddie watched the two of them during their brief outburst. She made a few notes on her pad of paper, mainly observations. What surprised her most was how they acted like a couple, even though they denied being one. They were both quiet now, each still sitting in “their” corner of the couch—Mac fiddling with the hem of her sweater, Harm with his head propped up with his left hand on the arm of the couch. Neither would look in the direction of the other.
Harm was the first to break the uneasy silence of the room, “Is this about over for today?”
“Is there something more important for you to do than this, Harm?” Mac asked with just a hint of sarcasm. She paused, then laughed at her own thoughts before saying, “Oh, wait; you probably have a date, don’t you? Don’t keep her waiting because of this.”
Harm looked at Mac with quiet reserve. He thought it was sarcasm, but there was something else there he couldn’t put his finger on. Rather than start another argument with her, he kept silent.
Maddie, however, picked up on Mac’s underlying tone. Mac probably thought in the back of her mind that Harm would always find someone or something more important than her, she wrote on her notepad. She was as unsure of their relationship as Harm was. I’ve got my work cut out for me, Maddie thought. Checking her watch, she decided that this was enough for today.
“I think we can pick up on things on Monday. Is that agreeable?”
Harm and Mac both nodded in accord.
“Good. Then I’ll
pencil you both in for
Harm started to object, but just said, “Sure. That’s fine with me.”
Mac quietly added, “Fine with me.”
“Great. Now, before our next meeting, I want both of you to write down what you think your own strengths and weaknesses are. No need for a dissertation, just three key points for each. OK?”
Mac nodded her head and said, “OK.”
Harm sighed, a little too loudly because it caught Mac’s attention, as well as Maddie’s.
“Something wrong, Harm?” Maddie asked.
“Just getting a headache, that’s all.”
Mac eyed him curiously.
She wondered if there was truly something wrong or was he just trying to
weasel out of things. Knowing Harm as
well as she did, she thought it was the latter.
They had 14 minutes left according to her internal clock, plenty of time
to find more things to disagree on. But,
did she know him as well as she thought?
Things didn’t go so smoothly today.
What if it is all falling apart?
What if he really doesn’t feel well?
There has to be something else wrong.
Mac’s musings were cut short when Harm stood up to
leave. She saw him smile at Maddie as he
shook her hand. Except it wasn’t that
“cat smile”, it was the Harm flyboy-charm smile that he used when it was
convenient for him. Damn him for this,
she thought. We’re trying to work
through problems and he’s going to try to pick up the counselor.
Mac grabbed her purse and said, “I’ll see you on Monday at 1600
Maddie. Thanks.” With that, she opened the door into the
waiting room and left. She never even
said good-bye to Harm. Confused, he
watched her leave, wondering what was bothering her that she left so abruptly. She’s probably angry that this session was
less than perfect, he thought. She’ll
get over it.
After saying his good-byes to Maddie, Harm left as well. He had plenty to think about now. And he had homework to do. Listing my qualities may take a while, he thought.
As he made his way to street level and the front door to the building, he saw Mac scamper across the street to her car. He pushed the door open, and attempted to call out to her, but she was too quick. Mac was behind the wheel and slamming the door before his words ever made it out. He watched her start the car and rev the engine before pulling away, wheels screeching. “What would I have said to her anyway? Something like, ‘Hey Mac, great session! I think we’ve got this hostility thing nailed, don’t you?’” Harm said to himself, before realizing that this talking out loud crap was going to get him a free ride to the hospital, complete with monogrammed white jacket.
After watching Mac’s car turn the corner, Harm turned and began walking up the street to his car. His stride was leisurely, since he had nothing else to do or anywhere else to be. There weren’t any cases to work on; he had tidied up his files this morning in preparation to give them to Manetti. Looking at his watch, he wondered what Sturgis was up to. He needed something to do to keep his mind off things. But, since Sturgis had become involved in Mac’s and his little circus by default, Harm wasn’t up to playing the “What the hell is your problem” game with him right now anyway.
Having arrived at his SUV, Harm checked his watch, noting
that it was just before 1445. He
unlocked the vehicle and slid in, inserting the key into the ignition. He sat there for a few minutes before
deciding that going back home was probably the safest way to finish the day.
****
Maddie sat at her desk resting her forehead on the cool
blotter. Her two newest clients had left
after a rather interesting first session.
It was going to be a roller coaster ride from hell for those two. It’d been a long time since she saw such a
bevy of emotions swirling through the room like a tornado. The last time she had a session like this was
8 years ago with a couple from
She looked at the notes she had taken, trying to sum up everything from this initial session. After pondering for a moment on their meeting, she picked up her pen and wrote, “obviously in love with each other but too stubborn to do anything about it”. Maddie closed her file on Mackenzie and Rabb, and stood up from her desk. She locked the file away in her file cabinet and turned the lights out in the office. Walking into the waiting room, she went over to the book shelf and perused the shelves until she found what she was looking for—“The Bridges of Madison County”. Nothing like a good romance to warm the soul, she thought. Stuffing the book into her bag, she locked up the office and left for home.