I SURRENDER By Gibson

(A/N: The ‘I Surrender’ series is all about the Harm and Mac love story - what happened to them after the coin toss – where they went, how they did there and the discussions they had (ie, resolving what the heck each of them were thinking over the past 9 years). Basically, all the stuff that DPB never gave us in the end. It’s got angst, but is basically a romance - extremely sappy with very little action - so don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Also, I threw out the 12 hour timeline scenario, just because any way I tried to work it, it didn’t make any sense. In this story, the scene where they get together takes place in the early hours of the morning, and the bar scene takes place later on that night.
Sorry, I know I’m the Queen of the ‘run-on sentence’ AND the ‘sentence fragment’, but hey – what can I say? That’s just the way I think!

All the usual disclaimers apply – all characters belong to DPB and not me.
Statements in double quotations “” are spoken.
Statements in single quotations ‘’ are thoughts.)

PART 1

MCMURPHY’S PUB
WASHINGTON, D.C

29 APRIL 2005
0020 ZULU

The General watched the coin flip end over end into the air, but he couldn’t help thinking one thought – ‘How can these two be so stupid?’ They were about to throw away one of their careers for absolutely no reason. He was amazed. They were able to expertly argue circles around each other in the courtroom, yet when it came to matters of the heart they couldn’t think themselves out of a wet paper bag. ‘This is ridiculous, but I suppose they do say love is blind.’

Everyone was so focused on watching the coin flip that no one seemed to notice General Creswell take two quick steps into the group. He snagged the coin out of the air before anyone seemed to register he was there. All they could do was stare at him with stunned expressions. ‘Ahhh,’ he thought ‘I love being a General.’

“I’m sorry Captain, Colonel, but I’m going to have to intervene on your ‘fate’ for a moment here.” He paused for effect as he turned and handed the coin back to a slightly stunned Bud. “I know I haven’t known you two for very long, but so far I believe you to be among the finest JAG officers I have ever had the privilege of serving with. To allow either of you to resign your commission in this manner would be negligent on my part, and well… a down right detriment to the Military and to the JAG Corps.” He turned to look at Harm. “I’m afraid there’s not a lot I can do to change the billet you have been assigned Captain – it was decided at a much higher level than me, but Colonel”, he turned then to look at her, “I believe I may be able to get you assigned a billet in London… somewhat removed from your future husband’s direct chain of command. It won’t be a command position unfortunately, but it would be a damn sight better than the alternative… if this is something you’d be interested in?”

Harm turned to look at Mac hopefully, while Mac’s eyes were still fixed on the General’s. Almost immediately she let out a surprised breath and answered him with a laugh. “Of course General,” she briefly turned to Harm to assess his expression, then turned back to the General, “I would be eternally grateful if you could arrange something like that.”

Harm spoke quietly and seriously to Mac “Thanks Mac – you didn’t need to do that you know…” he offered her a weak smile “…you might have won the toss.”

“Winning that coin toss would have brought me very little joy, Flyboy.”

‘Flyboy.’ How long had it been since she had last called him that in an endearing manner? It seemed like years since they had been that carefree and at ease with each other. “So I guess this means it’s official?” he questioned her with a smile.

“You better believe it, Sailor – you’re not backing out of this now.”

“Well then I guess I owe you a ring.”

Harm reached into the inside pocket of his Mess Dress jacket and took out a single solitaire diamond ring. Somewhere over the nervous rushing sound in his ears, he heard Harriet and Coates quietly gasp. He smiled at Mac while he took her left hand in his and slid the ring over her finger. He tried very hard to keep his composure as he watched tears welling up in her eyes.

“Harm, you just proposed to me last night and I’ve been with you ever since – how the hell did you have time to buy me a ring?”

He didn’t like where this was going, but he didn’t have much choice in the matter now. His only chance would be to nip it in the bud at his first opportunity. “I didn’t need to buy you a ring Mac… this is the ring that my father gave to my mother when they were engaged. I’ve had it for years.” He kept his chin down and looked up at her through his eyebrows, wondering if she could tell he was holding something back. Of course she could, she could always tell that.

Mac honestly didn’t know whether to cry or be sick. ‘Wait, I’m already crying. Oh please don’t let me be sick.’ Mac bit her lip and turned her head back up to look at Harm. ‘The ring his father had given his mother?’ She knew how much weight that carried. If she hadn’t known it before, the full understanding hit her at that moment. Harm never would have given this ring to just anyone – Harm considered her to be “the one”… her.

For fear of crumbling over the enormity of this gift, she attempted to lighten the mood. She sniffed, “Well, it’s a good thing that your mom and I have the same size fingers, I guess.”

‘Uh oh’, Harm knew this was entering dangerous territory. OK, one step closer and he would put an end to this, but for now he proceeded uncomfortably. “Uhhh… actually you don’t. I had it sized to fit you… awhile ago...”

He could tell that she wanted to ask him more, but he desperately wanted to avoid the explanation at this moment - fearing the uncomfortable memories that it would undoubtedly bring on. He just wanted this time to be happy – don’t think of the past… or ‘Never look back’ as the Admiral had told him that time in Australia. He glanced hesitantly at the rest of the crew who were watching them and gave a weak laugh, “I’ll explain it all later, Mac – just suffice it to say it’s where it’s meant to be now.”

He kissed her, maybe a little too passionately for public, but he couldn’t have cared less at the moment. The crew broke out in whoops and cat-calls affectionately. It caused them to break off their kiss with a laugh - their foreheads remaining together.

“Well, if you all don’t mind, I’m going to go dance with the future Mrs. Harmon Rabb, Jr.”

“Don’t you mean she’s going to dance with the future Mr. Sarah MacKenzie?”

“Very funny, Bud.” Bud was getting saucy in his old age Harm thought. He loved it.

“I don’t know Harm, I kind of like the sound of that!” Mac couldn’t resist the dig.

With an accusing glare at Bud, Harm quickly escorted Mac off to the dance floor before that particular strain of conversation could go any further.

Sturgis shook his head slowly as he watched them leave. “Well somebody pinch me because I can’t believe what I’m finally seeing.”

“You can’t believe it?! You’ve only been here three years!” Bud nodded his head in Harriet’s direction. “We’ve been watching this go on for nine!”

The General seemed mildly amused. “So you’re telling me that this is the first time in nine years that these two have gotten together – even once?”

“Yes sir!” Bud and Harriet chimed in together.

Creswell rolled his eyes at their simultaneous response, but continued sceptically. “How can you be sure? I mean, it’s possible…”

“Oh no sir,” Harriet replied confidently, “we would definitely have noticed if we’d ever seen them *this* happy.” Her gaze was joyously fixed on the dance floor where Harm and Mac were dancing.

General Creswell shook his head as if to clear it. “Well, all’s well that end’s well I suppose.”

Coates smiled slyly at her Commanding Officer. “Speaking of which sir, is it my understanding that you just manipulated the military billeting system for the sake of true love?”

“Nonsense Petty Officer” he countered defensively, “I never mettle in the private affairs of my subordinates.”

--------------------

Two hours later, most of the JAG crowd had left and said their goodbyes, only the Roberts had remained. Harm took notice of this and thought it was fitting that their last moments in Washington should be spent with the two people who had been with them since the beginning.

Harm and Mac were on the dance floor once again and he was thinking that whoever said that dancing was like making love standing up, was surprisingly more correct than he had ever imagined.

“Penny for your thoughts, sailor.”

Snapping out of it with a little smirk, Harm breathed “Uhhh, you don't want to know what I was just thinking.”

“Try me.”

“OK,” he turned passionately serious, “I was just thinking about how much I want to take you home and make love to you until I can't see straight.”

Mac just silently stared into Harm's eyes.

When he got no response, he added with a nervous laugh, “Uh, Mac... now’s the time that you’re supposed to supply me with your thoughts?”

Mac was still lost in Harm's eyes, “I was just thinking that I've never been so hopelessly, completely, head-over-heels in love with anyone in my entire life...” He cut her off with a passionate kiss before she could even finish her sentence.

Leaning against the bar, Bud was staring in awe at his friends on the dance floor. “Look at those two! It’s like they're going to spontaneously combust or something!”

Harriet still had an ecstatic glow about her for her friends’ happiness, but it was tinged with an inevitable sadness. “Well Bud, that's what you get when you have unresolved sexual tension that lasts for nine years.”

Bud shook his head in amazement, still staring at them, “Man, nine years of foreplay... that's going to be some *fantastic* sex!”

Harriet watched Harm and Mac come striding towards them, hand in hand, and she grinned knowingly, “Well, I think someone else may have just had that same idea...”

Mac was the first to speak hesitantly as they slowed to a halt in front of their friends, “We're going to take off OK guys?” She paused, not wanting to be the one to start this. “I guess this is goodbye.” She hugged Harriet and then Harriet hugged Harm.

Harm wished Harriet hadn’t started crying, he hated showing emotion, but knew he could never leave these two with things left unsaid. He took a deep breath and turned with a smile to Bud. “Bud… as Dorothy once said to the Scarecrow, ‘I think I’m going to miss you most of all’”. He had desperately tried to keep it light-hearted, but the constriction in his voice was betraying him. They shook hands as he continued with a short laugh. “I can’t believe how far you’ve come since I first met you on the Seahawk 10 years ago”, he shook his head in wonder, remembering that bumbling Ensign he’d overheard explaining the hand signals he’d used to direct civilians around the flight deck. “I never dreamed then that you would have come this far,” he tried valiantly to put meaning into this next phrase without his voice giving out, “and well… I just want you to know that I am *extremely* proud of you…” ‘Damn, he’d almost made it but his voice had caught at the end. It’s her, she’s making me lose my grip on everything lately…’

Bud was fighting the same emotional demons, but managed to respond with conviction, “Sir… Harm… you are never going to know the impact you have made on my life. You are my mentor… my hero … and the best friend I have ever had…” They shared a brief hug – not the one-sided one they had shared so many years ago when Harm had left to fly, but one of mutual respect and sadness. Harm had to turn away slightly to regain his composure.

Mac’s tears had fallen during this last exchange and she put her hand to her mouth to keep her emotions in check. Bud turned to her next and attempted to lighten the mood, “Ma’am, may I say that you are hands down the prettiest Marine that I have ever had the pleasure of serving with.”

They all laughed, but Harm rebuked him with a wink and a smile, “Hey, red light Bud.”

Mac turned to Harm defiantly, “Since when are you allowed to throw traffic signals for other people?”

Harm put a protective arm around her and looked into her eyes with a smile, “Oh, since about 18 hours ago”.

“Seriously though,” Bud continued, “thank you so much for everything – both of you - you two taught me everything I know. What am I going to do with out you?”

“Well, you’ll probably win a lot more cases, Bud.” He patted him on the shoulder with a smile, “And if you guys ever change your mind about London, don’t ever hesitate to give us a call OK?”

Bud smiled at Harriet, then turned back to them, “Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know.” There was a moment of awkward silence as they all wrestled with the fact that this may be the last time they ever see one another. “Well, you guys better get going – you have to be at the airport in six hours and I’m sure you still have a lot of things to do before then…” Catching his unintended innuendo, he tried to recover in typical Bud fashion, “… I mean, like packing and stuff… I mean…”

Harm cut him off with a flushed smile, “It’s OK Bud, we know what you mean.” Harm and Mac glanced at each other smiling - remembering their last discussion on the dance floor. Their passion did not go unnoticed by the Roberts.

Mac turned sadly to them with a smile, “We’ll miss you both like crazy. Are you still doing Christmas Dinner this year at your house? Maybe we can make it back?”

Harriet suppressed her tears once again, “We sure will be – and you guys better make it back.” Her expression suddenly turned sly, “Now get yourselves home… and guys… try not to be late for the plane tomorrow.”

END PART 1