PART 3

HARM’S OFFICE
NLSO BROFF, U.S. NAVY BUILDING
JUST OFF GROSVENOR SQUARE, W1Y

19 MAY 2005
1350 ZULU

Harmon Rabb, Jr. sat behind an enormous oak desk in his new office. He had been here almost three weeks now and it still hadn’t sunk in completely that this was his office. It still kind of reminded him of the few times he had filled in for the Admiral as Acting JAG. His new office wasn’t quite as big as the Admiral’s had been (he still had trouble thinking of it as Creswell’s), but it was just as nice. The British certainly had an affinity for tradition, and this office was steep in ornate architecture, woodworking, and Royal Navy decorum. He could almost picture Nelson having once occupied this office and that gave him a rush - his dad sure would have been proud of him.

He still felt pretty lonely in this place though. Over 10 years of being in the same building, with pretty much the same people, hadn’t done much for his social abilities. He’d tried to be amiable, but also didn’t want to give his staff the impression that he was a push-over. It was a little hard to not look weak right now though – he kept thinking of Mac and catching himself sitting at his desk with a big goofy grin on his face. He’d never, ever been this hopelessly in love before and he would never have believed that he could turn into a giddy school kid – but here it was happening and he was powerless to stop it. Even on the flight over, he had been so glad that they hadn’t had to wear their uniforms. He couldn’t have imagined sitting next to her for almost seven hours without being able to touch her. As it was, he'd had to curb his urge to reach for her every chance he got, and had finally settled for slipping his hand under the airline blanket she had thrown over herself, so that he could hold her hand. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he’d kissed the top of her head. It was now official - he’d turned into a complete and utter sap. ‘Snap out of it Rabb and get your mind back to the office.’

Trying to focus on the file on his desk – the manifest of his entire staff and their bios, he tried to remember what the Admiral had been like – tough, no nonsense, but willing to bend over backwards for anyone who deserved it. He knew the latter part would come much later, so first he had to give an impression of himself as the former. It wasn’t all that hard to do. His US staff he figured he could handle, but he could already tell most of his British staff were already a little resentful of him. Most of the Brits didn’t have much use for Americans – especially extremely tall, good-looking ones who came with the reputation of being a ‘golden-boy’. ‘A cross between Top Gun and A Few Good Men’ the Admiral had called him when he first read his file. His first reaction had been to apologize, but the Admiral had called him on it right away – “Don’t be” he had said “The world needs heroes”. From then on Harm had tried to be proud of his reputation – that is, when he wasn’t trying very hard to prove he wasn’t as stuck up as everyone automatically assumed he was… especially certain Marines…

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Lance Corporal MacRae stuck his head through when Harm called “Enter”. MacRae was the Royal Marine who acted as his personal assistant.

“Excuse sir, but may I bring your tea?”

It must be two o’clock Harm thought. This place was run like clockwork when it came to that. He was used to having a coffee break whenever he damn well felt like it, but here it was always coffee at 10am – tea at 2pm. He was sure the bloody building could be falling around his ears and MacRae would still bring him his tea on time. Well, when in Rome... He smiled at the young Marine “Thank you Lance Corporal. That would be fine.” If it hadn’t have been for the blonde hair and the fact that he could barely understand this one’s thick Scottish brogue, he could have almost been Tiner when he was younger. ‘When Tiner was younger?’ – God, that made him feel old.

“Sir, why don’t you call me ‘Mac’, everyone does?”

Harm laughed “Actually, I’d rather that I didn’t.”

The young Marine looked suddenly apprehensive. “I apologize Captain, I didn’t mean to offend…”

“No, it’s alright...” he smiled at him “… it’s just that I call my wife ‘Mac’”. Harm was teetering on the surge of sudden pride in using that word in relation to Mac for the very first time, and the guilt over the fact that it wasn’t quite correct yet – ‘Well hell, it was really only a formality. And the word ‘fiancé’ sounded so pretentious.’ Mac had been his partner for nine years, the fact that she wasn’t officially his wife yet was only a technicality in his mind.’ When MacRae still looked a little confused, Harm added “She’s a MacKenzie”

The young Marine’s features suddenly transformed into a knowing smile, “Aye sir, understood. A MacKenzie is certainly alright in my books, now had she been a MacDonald…”

Harm suddenly turned a warning eyebrow at MacRae - there was obviously some sort of long standing clan rivalry here he had no clue about, “Dismissed Marine”.

MacRae came to attention, but managed both a nod and a wink with one swift flick of his head “Sir!”

Harm had to laugh to himself once MacRae had closed the door. He didn’t know how the hell he did that, but he was pretty sure he was going to like this kid.

Twenty minutes later and all he could think about was how much he was looking forward to getting home today. Ha – he was always looking forward to getting home, who was he kidding? Their first week and a half had been spent living in a flat near Earl’s Court, but Mac had of course tackled the assignment of finding themselves a house with her usual Marine vigour and efficiency. He certainly was glad that she hadn’t had to give up her commission – she was only on three weeks leave right now and he could tell how much she missed working – especially once Harm had started. He knew a part of her was attracted to the ‘Harriet Simms-Roberts lifestyle’, but he had been concerned that going ‘cold turkey’ into being just ‘a Captain’s wife’ might make her think she’d made a mistake – her identification as a Marine had always been so important to her. If he’d been the one to take that away from her and she came to resent him for it… well… he didn’t want to think about that.

Mac had found them a place in less than a week once she’d started looking. ‘Six days, eight hours and fourteen minutes’ she probably would tell him - the thought made him smile. God, he missed her during the day – so many years of her just being twenty feet away from him. He could get up and walk into her office whenever he had wanted… well, that was a lie... there were times when he couldn’t have for one reason or another… and times when he should have and he never did. ‘Don’t go there Rabb’. He had started by blocking out all the memories of the wasted time he and Mac had suppressed their feelings, but lately those thoughts had been pushing themselves to the forefront more and more and he knew he was going to have to confront this sooner or later with Mac. He’d already evaded her once when she’d pushed him on when exactly he’d gotten that ring sized for her, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it again, nor should he. She’d made him swear that they would talk out everything from now on and he knew that was for the best, it was just that everything was going so well now, he didn’t want to screw it up by delving into bad memories from the past.

HARM AND MAC’S HOUSE

9 MELROSE AVE NW2
NORTH OF WILLESDEN GREEN STATION

19 MAY 2005
1459 ZULU

Mac was standing on the front walk admiring her handiwork. She had actually bought plants and flowers and planted them in the front garden. She was surprisingly excited about the fact that she had her own garden for the first time ever. Well, she had two actually – front and back, but technically in England, the ‘garden’ was the whole yard, so what the heck did you call the actual flowerbed part? Well, who cares, whatever it was called, it was now looking pretty damn good.

She was surprising herself more and more lately with all these domestic urges. Although she had been fully prepared to give up the Marines for Harm, she was more relieved than she would have liked to admit that she hadn’t needed to. Would she have been able to not be bitter towards Harm if she had lost the coin toss? She would like to think so, but something in the back of her mind made her think she knew better. The thought made her disappointed in herself to no end. Harm had given everything up for her without a second thought in order to go to Paraguay – and he had gotten nothing in return from her except a kick in the gut. Oh how she didn’t want to remember that. She had been right when she told McCool that in many ways Harm had grown passed her. Thank God that hadn’t included growing away from her… well, she would just have to catch up to him like McCool had suggested. Now that she didn’t have to give up the Corps, she didn’t have to go down that road, so move on.

As she admired the garden, she actually felt a little trepidation about returning to work. She had really enjoyed puttering around their new house, getting everything moved in and making the place ‘theirs’. She was pretty proud of her find – the place had everything they could ever want – no front step so that Mattie wouldn’t have any trouble once she came out to live with them – lots of open living space for a wheelchair to get around, and Harm didn’t even need to get off the Jubilee Line in order to commute to his office near the Bond Street Station. It even had an enormous park right nearby – that had been the final sell for both of them. She had taken endless walks in Gladstone Park already – watching the games of cricket and soccer going on everywhere, and she knew Harm had been taking his nightly runs out there as well.

Harm had left the whole logistical operation of finding a house up to her, and had never complained about being dragged out a few evenings to look at places. Dare she say he even seemed excited about it? Could it be that the great Harmon Rabb, Jr. was actually looking forward to domestic life? A part of her wanted to shake her head over that, but discovering the many new facets of her old partner as she had been lately, there was another part of her that wasn’t surprised at all. He had long wanted a family she thought – just look at his past experience with Annie and Josh – he had probably been almost as much terrified of it as he needed it though. Mac figured that, knowing Harm, he was just so intent on being a good father and husband, that he was too afraid to screw it up. Thank goodness Mattie had come along when she did – it gave him the perfect opportunity to realize he might actually be good at this ‘dad’ thing.

She smiled, remembering their conversation that very first morning they woke up together… well, the conversation that took place after she had reassured him she wasn’t out of her mind. For some reason, probably her innate sense that nothing could ever be as perfect as she wanted it, when she was on the verge of waking that first morning, she was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling that it had all been a dream – that she had never really had that conversation with Harm… the one that had led to them making love. She had woken up with such a start and a cry of “No!”, that poor Harm had her in his arms (well, she had already been there) – a protective hand on the side of her head – before she could even take a second breath. As he stared down at her with such concern and her wits slowly returned, she had collapsed into his chest with a relieved groan.

“Maaaac?” he held her to his chest tightly.

She had given him a weak laugh in return “I’m sorry Harm. I’m OK – really. I just had a bad dream.”

“Something you care to share?”

Normally, she would never have considered telling him something like this – it equated to showing weakness, but things weren’t normal anymore were they? “I… ahhh… I just had this sudden thought that last night had all been a dream and I was…” she lifted her head to meet his eyes, “…going to wake up without you”. She then suddenly blushed with embarrassment, second guessing her decision, and dropped her gaze to the bed sheets.

“Hey,” Harm had lifted her chin with the crook of his finger in that agonizingly beautiful way he had, and forced her to meet his gaze “… it’s OK. I…ahem…sort of had the exact same thought when I woke up in the middle of the night.” Now it was his turn to look a little uncomfortable.

“You did?” her eyes brightened in surprise. “You know, you never fail to amaze me sometimes.”

“Right back at ya, MacKenzie.”

He gave her a light kiss on the lips – one of those ones that made her melt like butter – and she relaxed back into the bed with a sigh. Harm propped himself up with his elbow and stared at her for a moment before speaking. He was lightly tracing his finger up and down her arm.

“You know Mac, I know we’ve talked about this before, but not since we’ve been… together. Mac, I don’t want to upset you or anything, and you don’t have to respond at all, but I just want you to know that, although I know the chances are slim… I’d still like to at least *try* to have a baby with you.” He looked painfully like a little boy asking forgiveness and it almost broke Mac’s heart in two. “I mean, I am perfectly OK if it never happens because I have you, and that’s the most important thing… but I mean,” he gave a short laugh “we’ve beat the odds lots of times before, eh Marine? I… I just think we should try, that’s all.”

Mac had just beamed back at him, “Well I’ve got news for you, Flyboy – we already are.”

The look on his face had been priceless – another Polaroid moment. For someone that graduated near the top of his class from law school – he could be pretty dimwitted sometimes. It must just be a ‘guy thing’ she decided. He had never even asked her if she was on anything, and she had imagined he felt the same way as her – of course they would be trying for a baby – why the hell wouldn’t they? But leave it to good old Harm to automatically assume that she was still in ‘Marine Mode’. When Mac’s words sunk in, Harm had collapsed backward onto the bed and stared open-mouthed at the ceiling.

“That never occurred to me” he told the ceiling. “Why the hell hadn’t that occurred to me?”

“Sorry Harm, I guess we should have discussed it, but I just assumed that what with the deal… and what you had told me at the Admiral’s retirement party…”

He had immediately sat up and taken her shoulder in his firm grasp. “No! I mean, yes – you assumed correctly!” he laughed with relief and shook his head. He then became serious as he looked into her eyes once more and kissed her profoundly. A kiss that had led to another one, which led to… ah yes, she believed it had been the shower…

“Mmmmmm…” she said aloud, still staring at her newly planted impatiens. Then she shook her head and brought herself back to the present. ‘Snap out of it Marine’. She had spent too much time alone lately, daydreaming to herself with a gigantic grin plastered on her face. It’s a good thing she wasn’t at the office anymore – her reputation as a squared away Marine would definitely have been on the line once they had gotten a load of her as a giddy school girl. She smiled again; she sure missed those guys… well almost all of those guys… all except Vukovik.

The sound of slow shuffling of feet behind her suddenly brought her back to the present. She turned around to see Harm coming up the front walk – his briefcase in one hand and flowers in the other. He looked so beautiful there in his Service Blues with the peak of his cover pulled down over his eyes. Like that, you couldn’t see the signs of his aging – he looked just the way he had that day in the Rose Garden. She suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry.

Harm had been watching her from the sidewalk for several minutes before he had started up the path. He couldn’t resist the urge to admire her beautiful form as she stood there staring at the garden, seemingly lost in thought. She was wearing a light summer dress with flowers printed on it that came to just above her knees. The breeze made it cling to her body in all the right places. She looked so beautiful standing there, so unlike the ‘squared away Marine’ he had met that day in the Rose Garden. As he wandered up the walk, he marvelled how far they had come over the last nine years, and how even now, she still had the ability to surprise the hell out of him.

“Harm, it’s barely three o’clock in the afternoon – why are you home so early?” She was happy to see him, but a little concerned about the look on his face. It was almost like he was somewhere else entirely.

He handed her the flowers. “Well, I was sitting in my office, missing you, and remembering how your office used to be less than twenty feet away…” he put down his briefcase, “…well… suffice it to say, that thought led to the thought of all those times I sat in my office wanting nothing more than to cross that twenty feet, take you in my arms and tell you how much I loved you… but I never did…”

Mac welled up “Oh Harm” she said softly.

“Then,” Harm cocked his head to the side and took her hands, “I realized that now I could. Now there was nothing stopping me from going straight to wherever you were and telling you how much I loved you… I just had a little bit more ground to cover this time.” He reached around her with both hands and clasped them behind her lower back. Mac did the same behind his. “I love you, you know”.

“I know” she blinked through tears. “I love you too, Harm.”

An elderly Tilley Jeffries peered out through the lace curtains of her window down the road at Haversham Lodge as she observed her new neighbours locked in a passionate embrace. “Harry! I told you this new American couple would be entertaining if nothing else. I don’t think I’m going to have to bother watching ‘Desperate Housewives’ this season.”

END PART 3