Disclaimer: Not my JAG but if it were, or if they had at least asked my opinion, it may have gone something like this.

Mac couldn't believe her eyes or her bad luck when the door to Harm's apartment opened. She was temporarily hit by a case of shell shock when she saw Alicia. Fear, panic, and a strong desire to flee overcame her.

How could she possibly want to join them? What a ridiculous request. She quickly made her regrets and got out of the building as fast as she possibly could, never once looking back. She hardly remembered the elevator ride downstairs. She climbed into her car and sped off to a initially unknown destination. That destination turned out to be the safe haven of her apartment although lately the walls seemed to be closing in around her and sleep evaded her at every turn.

Once inside, a wave of emotion overcame her. Relief, shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, confusion. After all, why shouldn't Harm see other women? She had all but pushed him away just as he had done to her so many times. She certainly hadn't waited around for him, why should he wait for her? But that realization didn't make it any easier to take.

She decided to take a bath and soak away her sorrow. She filled the tub with hot bubbly water and soaked until she thought her skin would peel. Finally, she emerged, smelling sweet but not really feeling much better. She threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and went to the kitchen to make some tea. She was preparing herself for another sleepless night when she heard a knock on the door. Startled, she stood still, not making a sound, hardly even breathing, wondering if she should bother to answer. In the back of her mind, she knew it was Harm but she didn't know if she could face him. Her humiliation was too fresh and her emotions were too scattered.

She heard another knock and then his voice. "Hey, Mac. I know you're in there. Please open the door." Another intolerable round of silence followed. "Mac, don't make me use my key. I have it here and am not afraid to use it."

Mac put down her mug and slowly made her way to the door. She opened it slightly and peeked out.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. Can I come in?"

Mac stood there for a moment, thinking. "Ok." She opened the door, turned around and walked further into the apartment as if she had something to do as he came in.

Harm walked in and immediately smelled the fragrance of her earlier bubble bath. He loved that smell and as soon as it hit him he knew he had done the right thing in coming to see her.

"Mac, about tonight..."

Mac interrupted him. "You don't owe me any explanations. You're a big boy. You can do whatever you want."

"Mac."

"Actually, I really don't want to talk about it. If that's ok with you." Mac turned around again, walked over to the sofa, and sat over in the furthest corner.

Harm gave a big heavy sigh. He went over to the sofa and sat down next to her but not too close. He could see that she was upset and he didn't want to push her but he was not going to let her believe things that weren't true. "Mac, I didn't come here to just sit here and pretend that tonight never happened. First off, I am not involved with Alicia. Never have been, never will be. Secondly, I've been waiting for so long to open my door and find you standing there. I just can't believe my bad luck that it happened tonight of all nights."

Mac sat there staring at her knees. She didn't know what to say. She was so darn tired and confused.

"Mac. Look at me." Harm took his hand and lifted her chin up so she was not only hearing him but was also seeing him. "Why did you come over tonight? I know there was a reason; you of all people don't just come over. You always come over with a specific purpose. What was it?"

It was then Mac's turn to sigh. She moved her chin away from his hand and took a deep breath. "I've been having trouble sleeping and I felt like talking. I was secretly hoping that hashing out some of what's turning around and around in my head would help."

"I'd be glad to try and help. I've been wanting to help for a long time now."

"I know. I just don't know where to start."

"Well, why do you think you haven't been sleeping? What's on your mind?"

Jokingly with a half smile Mac said, "How much time do you have?"

Harm looked at her with steel eyes that seemed to stare right into the core of her being and responded, "All the time you need."

Mac looked back down at her knees willing the tears that were welling up behind her eyes to go away. If she broke apart before this even got started, she would never get through it. She brought her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs close to her body. "Breathe, breathe," she silently told herself.

"Well, first off, I want to say I'm sorry for being so distant lately. In reality, I think part of my problem is that I miss you. I miss being around you, I miss talking to you, I miss everything about you. I need you. And that scares me."

"Why does it scare you?"

"I'm not used to feeling like I need someone as badly as I need you. But I'm afraid that I'm setting myself up for a repeat of past mistakes if I admit to myself the truth of the situation. I'm afraid that if I truly open up I'm going to leave myself open to more hurt and heartache."

"Mac, I..."

"Harm. Wait. Remember Australia? I opened myself up. You couldn't. Remember when Mic left? You were with Renee. I truly felt that it was our time but I found myself out in the rain, staring up into your window, seeing Renee in your arms. I can't go through something like that again."

Feeling remorse, all Harm could mutter was, "I'm so sorry. I've done my fair share of pushing you away."

"And so have I to you. I think one of the reasons I'm having trouble lately is, like I said, that I fear the past will repeat itself. I'm afraid to open myself up to you again. I see a change in you but I know that there is a part of you that still isn't there."

"What do you mean? I thought I made it pretty clear where I stood in Paraguay."

"Harm, did you really? You were there in body but you still couldn't say to me exactly what you were thinking, could you?"

"Mac, I thought..."

"Could you?"

"OK. You're right."

"That's why I came to the conclusion that we were never meant to be. That's why I jumped over to Clay. And likewise, why I jumped over to Mic. I don't think I ever really wanted either one of them. But they were there. And willing. And you weren't. At least not all the way. It was an easy thing for me to do but in hindsight, I realize it was also a very destructive thing to do. I have never had a relationship with a man that in some way wasn't destructive. But when I'm with you, it feels so right, so safe, so perfect. I don't know if I can handle that."

"I wanted to say more in Paraguay but I didn't. I don't know why. I should have. It was wrong of me not to."

"And I couldn't either. Or wouldn't. Neither one of us had the guts to do it. Plus which, I had backup. Clay was like the trump card for me because, hey, either way, I wasn't going to be alone. But once again, I didn't really think it through and look where it got me. Again. So now, here I am, not knowing what to do."

"Let me in. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Mac's eyes had returned to studying the floor. "Mac. Mac! Look at me." Once again, he lifted her chin up so that she was gazing into his eyes. But this time, she couldn't control the tears and one came streaming down her face. Harm's heart felt heavy and his stomach started to churn. All at once he realized that she alone hadn't created this problem. He had his fair share of guilt in this mess. And he wasn't going to let it continue.

"All of what you say is true. And you need to realize that this isn't all about the mistakes you've made. A lot of it has to do with the mistakes I've made which had an influence on you. You alone didn't do this. I did it too. I now realize the true consequences of my actions and I'm so sorry for that. I, too, was afraid on so many levels. I've never, ever had someone like you in my life and I too was afraid of letting go so I held back. And you're right. Even when I thought I wasn't holding back, I was. When you were off in Paraguay with Webb, I couldn't believe what I had done. That I had let you go. I was miserable. I had to have you back and know you were safe. But when I did have you, I didn't have the courage to go all the way and tell you everything. I drove you away as desperately as I wanted you and I didn't realize it. But now you've made things clearer than they ever have been before. And I'm not afraid to say that I need you as much as you said you need me and yes, that scares me too but I'm not going to let it get in my way anymore. I love you. You need to know that."

Tears came streaming down Mac's face as they never had before. All of the tears that she couldn't cry before came flooding out. But through her tears, she managed to find the composure to say, "I love you too. More than you can know. More than I can believe." At that, her tears turned to sobs and she buried her face in her hands. Harm pulled her close and held her like he would never let her go. Mac finally felt safe. But she also felt truly exhausted. So many sleepless nights and the level of her anxiety release left her physically and emotionally drained. She started to relax in his arms and her tears subsided. Finally she said, "I'm so tired Harm. I don't think I've ever been this tired before."

In a split second, Harm lifted her up and walked her to her bed. He laid her down, tucked her in and faster than he could believe, she was on the verge of sleep. But she was still awake enough to say, "Stay. Please." He sat at the edge of her bed stroking her head and watched her fall asleep all the while thinking over all that they said to each other. He too was relieved and amazed that a night that had started so badly could end so well. He slid off his shoes and shirt, got under the covers with her and held her tight. Mac sighed in her sleep and shortly thereafter, they were both sleeping off the effects of the night.

Harm awoke in the morning to find Mac still sleeping soundly. He got up, put on his shirt and shoes and went to find some paper. He had a feeling that she would be sleeping for quite a while longer so he decided to go home, shower, and think through all that had happened. But just in case, he wanted to leave her a note so that she knew where he was and that he would be back.

As he suspected, the note was not necessary. When he returned, she was still sleeping soundly. Finally, around lunchtime, Mac awoke. She was surprised when she saw the clock. She hadn't slept that long in years. Then she remembered the events of the previous night and wondered if he was still there. Afraid to find out, she went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. She threw on some clothes and went to see. Sure enough, there he was, sitting on the couch reading the paper.

"Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon?"

Mac smiled and blushed slightly.

"Feeling better? You really must have been exhausted."

"Yeah, I feel better. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night for a very long time. It finally caught up with me."

"You hungry? How about some lunch?"

"Sounds great."

Harm watched her as she ate. Mac was never one to have a bad appetite but she appeared to not be very hungry. She ate about half of her lunch and then looked up at him and smiled.

Wanting to get the day moving, Harm said, "You know what? It's a beautiful day. How about we go for a walk?"

"That sounds great. I'll go get ready."

They went out and strolled the streets of Georgetown. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. Around dinnertime, they found a small bistro and went in for a light dinner. The talked about this and that but nothing really too deep. They were both still feeling the effects of their talk last night and they both needed the topics of their conversations to be light. After they ate, the slowly made their way back to her apartment. The sun started to set and the sky turned various shades of pinks and purples. The air temperature got cooler and Mac gave a little shiver. Harm put his arm around her and she leaned into him feeling safer than she ever had before.

Back at her apartment they both were feeling a bit awkward. Mac decided to break the silence. "You want a mug of tea? I got some when I was having trouble sleeping. Didn't much help though."

"Sure. You want me to make it?"

"No, I think I can handle it." Mac smiled at Harm as she went into the kitchen. She came back with two steaming cups of fragrant herbal tea.

They sat in silence for a while sipping their tea. Feeling awkward around each other was new to both of them. They both happened to gaze at each other at the same time and simultaneously said, "Now what?"

Mac decided to answer first. "Not sure. This is kind of new, you know? As well as we know each other, there are a lot of things that we don't know about each other. But I'm looking forward now to the future. I'm not scared."

Harm felt a flood of emotion run all over him at hearing her words. All he could do was stare into her sparkling eyes and drink in the sight of her. He took her mug and put it on the table all the while not removing his eyes from hers. He smoothed her hair back and said, "I love you, you know. I have for so long and I will love you for the rest of my life."

Again, a single tear released itself and made it's way down her cheek. Harm tenderly wiped it away, pulled her close and softly kissed her. Mac felt herself melt into his arms and returned his kiss hoping it would never end. Soft, tender kisses turned more passionate and ultimately, they found themselves back in her bed but this time, neither one was thinking about sleeping. Just as Harm placed himself above her, Mac looked into his eyes and asked, "Is this really happening?" Harm in response kissed her gently and said, "Yes, it's really happening." Then together, they plunged into each other and entered the point of no return.

Later as they were lying in each others arms, they both realized that they were now both at home. Forever.