Title: Deal Talk

Author: JAG Junkie (rondayoung@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG

Category: Romance (Harm/Mac)

Disclaimer:  They are (sadly) not mine.  If they were, Harm and Mac would not have had nearly as many misunderstandings, so it wouldn’t have taken them nine years!  And the road would have been much less bumpy!

 

Summary: This is what could have (should have?) happened after the scene in “Goodbyes” where Harm and Mac are leaving Bud and Harriet’s apartment (after seeing Baby AJ).

 

A/N: Since Harm had Baby AJ’s gift at work, and since they were still in uniform at Bud and Harriet’s, I’m assuming that they went there right after work, either taking separate cars or leaving one car at JAG.  For the purposes of this story, I’m choosing to assume the former (separate cars).  They probably ate dinner on the way there (it was 8:00 when they got to Bud & Harriet’s and they were talking like they just got there, so they couldn’t have just eaten with them).  But I’m going to assume that they hadn’t eaten dinner yet, despite the fact that it was about 8:30 when they were leaving (based on the timestamps in the ep).

 

 

 

 

Outside Bud and Harriet’s apartment

Rosslyn, VA

 

-----from the episode-----

 

“Wonder what it’s like to be as happy as Bud and Harriet.”

 

“They’re working twelve hour shifts, they’re up all night with a baby, they don’t have time to be happy.”

 

“They don’t have to *find* time, they just *are*.  Don’t you want that at all?”

 

“There’s a lot of time for stuff like that, Mac.”

 

“Yeah?  Don’t be so sure.  When was the last time you saw Jordan?”

 

“Couple of weeks ago.  She told me to give her a call when I decided if I was leaving JAG.”

 

“Have you?”

 

“You know, I keep thinking what it would be like to go back and see what I’ve missed; start with a clean slate.”

 

“You have anything *but* a clean slate.  Look, I’m interested in the future too, Harm.  More and more, I want a life that is simple, and good.  A great career, a good man--”

 

“And comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

-----

 

The two officers laughed and started walking again.  They quickly reached Mac’s car and Harm opened the door for her once she had unlocked it.  She started to get in, but then hesitated.

 

“Um, would…would you like to come over for dinner?”

 

He looked at her questioningly, as if to ask her why the sudden request.

 

“I…I have something I want to talk to you about.”

 

He smiled with both curiosity and understanding.  “Okay.  Dinner would be nice.  I’ll pick it up.  Chinese okay?”

 

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.  “Chinese is great.  I’ll trust you to get it.  You know what I like.”

 

A little while later, Harm appeared at Mac’s door with a bag of Chinese food in hand.  She had already set the table, so it wasn’t long before they were seated at the table enjoying their meal.  Mac made no mention of whatever it was that brought on her need to invite him over and Harm’s curiosity got the best of him.

 

“So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

 

“Not right now.  Let it wait until after we finish eating.”

 

He looked at her oddly, wondering what could be so important that she would want his full attention when she talked to him about it, but he decided not to press the issue, giving her the time she needed.

 

The rest of the dinner was spent making small talk about how cute Baby AJ is, how well Harriet is recovering, how proud Bud is, and general office talk.  Once the table was cleared and the dishes put away, they settled comfortably on the sofa with two steaming mugs of coffee.

 

Mac took a deep breath and began tentatively.  “Earlier tonight, you seemed kind of resistant to the idea of raising children.”

 

“I’m not resistant to it.  It’s just a big responsibility.”  He shrugged his shoulders ever so slightly.

 

“But, just last week, you made a deal with me.  So I’m confused.  Do you want a baby?  Or were you just feeling sorry for me?”

 

“I was *not* feeling sorry for you!” he insisted.

 

“So why did you propose the deal?”

 

“Because I *do* want a baby.”  He paused and quietly added, “Someday.”

 

“Someday?  I guess that means ‘not now’.”

 

“Right.  Not yet.  I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

 

“Is that the reason for the whole ‘if neither one of us is involved in five years’ bit?  Is this just a backup plan?”

 

“No!” he replied a little more forcefully than he intended.

 

She was confused.  “But--”

 

“Mac.”  He set his mug down on the coffee table.  “Listen.”  He took her mug and set it down as well, then took her hand in his.  “Whenever I think about the future, and I *do* think about it--a lot, I’m in a house, with a family, and you’re the mother of my children.”

 

Her eyes widened in surprise.  “I’m--”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But, what about Jordan?”  It was an honest question.

 

“Well, that relationship is pretty much over.  I told you earlier tonight that I haven’t even seen her in a couple of weeks.  And that last time I saw her, things didn’t end very well at all.  She doesn’t understand ‘Harm the Pilot’.  And she doesn’t want to wait for me to do what I need to do.  But you understand, don’t you?  You’ll wait for me, right?”  He looked at her with hope in his eyes, and something else she couldn’t quite place.

 

“Yes.”  She closed her eyes briefly and sighed.  “But five years is an awfully long time.  Why five years?”

 

“It might take me that long to be ready.  I *need* to go back to flying and find what I lost.  I just don’t know how long that will take.”

 

Disappointment colored her voice.  “That sounds like you’ve already made your decision.”

 

“Maybe.  But I *do* know that I don’t want to be on a carrier when my child is born.”

 

She looked away, hoping that he didn’t notice her watery eyes.

 

“Mac, think of our five year deal as more like a deadline.”

 

That got her attention and she looked back at him.  “A deadline?”

 

“Yeah.  In five years we *will* have a baby together.”  Then, with a wink, “If we haven’t already.”

 

She smiled.  “Okay.  I can live with that.”

 

He smiled back in relief.  “Good.”

 

He squeezed her hand and reached for his mug.  “Now that we have that settled, I should probably get going,” he said as he finished off the last of his coffee.

 

“Okay, if you must go.”  Her voice cracked.

 

“Yeah.  It’s late.  I really should.”  He stood and walked to the door and she followed.

 

“Thanks for bringing dinner.”  She stalled by blurting out the first thing that popped into her head.

 

He stopped by the door and turned to her.  “Thanks for suggesting it.”

 

He put his hand on the doorknob, then paused and looked at her intently.  “I think we needed to have that talk.”

 

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly.  “Yeah.  We did.  I feel better about things now.”

 

“Me too.”

 

They were both staring at each other longingly: Harm not wanting to leave and Mac not wanting him to go.  Slowly, he stepped forward and put his hand under her chin, lifting her face up toward his.

 

“Thank you for understanding.”  He spoke quietly and she could only respond with a small nod.

 

Carefully, he traced her jaw line with his fingers.  She held her breath as his fingers worked their way up to her ear, stopping when they got there.  He turned his hand a little and cupped her cheek.  He smiled as he remembered another time, just a few months ago, when she had stayed at his apartment and they had talked in the middle of the night.  He had held her cheek the same way then, but this time he felt a pull that he couldn’t resist.

 

He slowly bent down and gently brushed his lips against hers.  He had barely broken the contact when he pressed his lips to hers again, this time with a little more intensity.  She instantly melted into him and he reached his other arm around her waist.  He tenderly caressed her warm lips with his, lingered a little, and then pulled back reluctantly.

 

It took her a few seconds to open her eyes.  When she did, she almost stopped breathing again as she saw the loving look on his face.

 

His hand still on her cheek, he smiled down on her and spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.  “I wasn’t kissing *her*.”

 

She somehow managed to get out a breathy “I know.”

 

Her breathing problems continued as his hand slid down her face, down her neck, and squeezed her shoulder before releasing her.  He turned toward the door and opened it, pausing before going through.

 

“G’night, Mac,” he looked back and whispered to her before stepping out into the hallway and softly closing the door behind him.

 

“G’night,” she whispered as she stood frozen in her place.

 

After a few moments of reflection, she stepped forward to lock the door.  She turned and leaned against it, unconsciously raising her hand to her lips.  She closed her eyes and relived what had just happened, savoring the memory and burning it into her mind.

 

Then her thoughts wandered back to when they had first met three years ago.  Those three years had flown by.  Maybe now that she knew what she was looking forward to, the next five years would fly by just as quickly.  The thought of him being away on a carrier was difficult to swallow, but as long as she had the memory of tonight, she could make it.  Love and hope would carry her through.

 

*****