Chapter 15

 

Fri. Jan. 2   1930 EST

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

 

Harm and Mac were enjoying a quiet dinner and engaging in pleasant small talk, when suddenly Harm put down his fork and stared at Mac with an odd look on his face.

 

“What?”  Mac cocked her head to the side and smiled in amusement.  “Do I have food on my face or something?”

 

“No, I just had a thought.”

 

“Wow, something different.  Harmon Rabb had ‘a thought’.  Care to share what this ‘thought’ is, sailor?” Mac said playfully.

 

“Seriously, Mac.  I just realized something that changes everything!”  Harm was grinning ear to ear.

 

Mac was laughing now.  “Okay, now *this* I gotta hear!”

 

“Well,” Harm began, not sure of how to start.  “I don’t know when or how it happened, but I think we are dating.”

 

“What?”  Mac’s eyes flew wide open and she dropped her fork.

 

Harm chuckled at her reaction.  “Face it, marine.  We’re on a date.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.  We are not on a ‘date’.  We’re just eating a simple dinner at home, like we have been doing for a month now.  Not to mention all the working dinners we had before that.”

 

“I beg to differ.  This is not at all like our working dinners of the past.  Think about it.  It’s Friday night.  We haven’t talked about work all evening.  We are sitting here enjoying a quiet, romantic dinner--”

 

“I think you are reading way too much into this!”  Mac could feel fear and denial rearing their ugly heads and she felt powerless to overcome them.

 

“Come on, Mac.”  Harm made a sweeping gesture with his hands.  “The soft, romantic music, the candles--”

 

“Whoa, I put these on the table because they are aromatherapy candles.  They help me to relax--something I needed to do after a rough day back at work today.  And as for the music--that is *your* CD, flyboy.  It was already in the stereo.  All I did was push ‘play’.”

 

“Okay, but when we finish eating, what are we going to do?  We’re going to watch one of the movies we rented, and,” Harm raised one eyebrow, “we *won’t* be sitting at opposite ends of the couch, either.  Dinner and a movie.  Sounds like a classic date to me.”  Harm leaned back in his chair and stared at her.  His eyes were challenging her to disagree.

 

Mac, suddenly feeling a boldness that surprised her, spoke her next words without even thinking.  “Well, most dates end with a goodnight kiss,” she challenged.

 

“That can be arranged.”

 

Harm was looking directly into her eyes and she could see that he was dead serious.  The intensity of his gaze rendered her speechless.  She was sure she was melting faster than the candles.

 

Seeing that neither one was going to eat any more, Harm began to gather the dishes.  “I believe we have a movie to watch, tiger.”  He stood up and winked at her before heading into the kitchen with their plates.

 

Mac somehow managed to help clear the table and make to the couch without her knees giving out.  They sat right next to each other on the couch, as they had been doing recently, only this time, Harm casually put his arm around her.  In response, Mac moved a little closer to him.  By the end of the movie, they were both snuggled tightly together.  Harm lifted the remote, clicked off the movie, and turned to look at Mac.

 

“Now, about that goodnight kiss we talked about earlier…”

 

Mac swallowed hard as she turned to look at him expectantly.  Her heart was racing as his face inched toward hers.  Seconds later his lips were gently caressing hers and his hands were sliding around her waist and up her back.  She snaked her arms around his neck, placed one hand on the back of his head, and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.  One by one, their fears and doubts began to crumble, and by the time they finally broke apart for air, they both knew that there had been a decisive shift in their relationship.

 

Harm, caught up in the rush, decided it was time to let go.  He was determined to eliminate all misunderstanding once and for all.  He looked deep into her eyes and finally whispered the words that he had wanted to say for so long.

 

“I love you, Mac.”

 

Mac’s breath caught in her throat when she heard him.  She was thankful that she was sitting down, because her heart was pounding in her chest and her legs were numb.  Throwing caution into the wind, she finally allowed herself to voice her true feelings.

 

“I love you, too, Harm.”

 

Harm’s smile got even bigger and he pulled her as close as possible and kissed her again, long and deep.  Mac curled her fingers in his hair as she heard a low moan rumbling in his throat.  When they parted, they were both breathless.  Harm rested his forehead on hers and softly caressed her face.  They sat like that for a few minutes, each smiling contentedly and relishing the joy of this new connection between them.

 

Mac didn’t want to break the magic of the moment, but there was still one thing that her heart needed an answer to.  Pulling back slightly and looking down, she shyly asked, “Harm, the other day when you mentioned being together in order to go through with the baby deal, what exactly did you mean by the word *together*?”

 

Harm sighed and took both of her hands in his.  He had known this was coming.  He looked down at their joined hands and began slowly, cautiously.

 

“Well, I meant ‘together’ in every sense of the word.  A child deserves a mother and father that love each other.  Obviously, we will have to be ‘together’ to create the child, but having a baby is so much more than that.  I want us to raise the child together…as husband and wife.”  He glanced at her before uttering that last phrase, but found it difficult to maintain eye contact.

 

For the second time that night, Mac was momentarily speechless.  Harm, misreading her silence, immediately started to backtrack.

 

“I’m sorry.  I said too much, too soon.  I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything.  I--”

 

“Yes,” Mac interrupted.

 

Harm’s eyes jerked up to meet hers.  “What?”

 

Mac smiled and calmly explained her answer.  “You asked me to marry you, I said yes.”  She shrugged as if this conversation were the most natural thing in the world.

 

Harm was elated but slightly dazed and confused.  “I didn’t ask you to--”

 

Mac smiled and interrupted.  “No, not in so many words.  But you stated your intentions pretty clearly, sailor, so I wanted to make mine clear too.”

 

Now it was Harm’s turn to be speechless.  Then, a smile gradually worked its way to the corners of his mouth.  They kissed again, this time with more freedom and anticipation than all the other times combined.

 

“I don’t think either one of us needs to sleep on the couch anymore.  I want to share a bed again,” Mac said suggestively when they pulled apart.

 

Harm was surprised at her boldness and wasn’t sure what to say.  Mac chuckled at the look of shock in his eyes and clarified, “Relax, flyboy.  I meant share a bed *to sleep* only.  We just went from being friends to being engaged in just a matter of minutes.  I think you’ll agree that it is a little overwhelming.  I just don’t think I am quite ready to move to that level yet.  Let’s take our time and enjoy this.  We’ve waited too long to rush it and mess things up.”

 

Mac was torn between conflicting emotions as she heard herself speaking those words to Harm.  Part of her wanted to fall into bed with him and make passionate love with him all night long, but another part of her--the part that won out--still had some insecurities to deal with.  She knew in her head that her relationship with Harm was different from all her past relationships.  But she still felt the need to prove to herself that she could be loved without rushing into sexual intimacy.  She searched his eyes for confirmation that she hadn’t just ruined everything and was rewarded with a look of love and understanding.

 

Harm knew she was right about not rushing things, but a part of him was disappointed.  He felt like Mac must have sensed it because she quickly added, “Trust me, I’ll let you know when I am ready.”  Mac winked at him and stood up.  “Come on, flyboy.  Let’s go to bed,” she said as she tugged at his arm.  Harm stood up and, arm in arm, they made their way into the bedroom.

 

Minutes later, they both crawled into bed as they had done for the past week and a half.  Only this time, they closed the distance between them.  Harm pulled her into his arms and she snuggled as close as she could.

 

“Mmmm.  I think I’ll be having pleasant dreams tonight.”  Mac murmured against his chest.

 

“You and me both.”  Harm smiled into her hair.

 

Mac tilted her head back and looked up at him.  “I love you.”  She thought it felt so good to be able to say that and it felt even better to hear him saying it in return just before capturing her lips with his.  This kiss was sweet and tender, but by some unspoken agreement, was short and simple--they were both well aware of how quickly things could get out of hand while in bed together.

 

After bidding each other “goodnight”, they settled into the warmth of their embrace, content to stay that way indefinitely.  Quickly, both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

 

-----

 

Sat. Jan. 3   0730 EST

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

 

Mac stirred as light from outside began to wash over the room.  Despite her grogginess, she felt a distinct sense of warmth and security.  Slowly, the realization dawned on her.  The source of that warmth and security was right next to her.  She wasn’t just lying on the bed next to him like they had done so many times before.  This was different.  She was wrapped in his arms.  She quickly decided that she would be perfectly happy to stay there forever, if only she could.  She shifted slightly in order to get a better view of his face.  Harm must have sensed her movement because he made a low grunting noise in the back of his throat, tightened his arms around her, and pulled her closer.

 

Mac began kissing his face ever so lightly until his eyes fluttered open.

 

“Hmmm, a guy could get used to being woken up like that!”  He greeted her with a smile before touching her lips with his.

 

“Yeah, well, a girl could get used to it, too!  So what’s on our agenda for the day?”

 

“Maybe we should go apartment hunting again.”

 

“Mmmm, why can’t we just stay here?”  Mac ran her fingers through his hair.

 

“Well, that’s very tempting, marine.”  Harm grinned impishly.  “But we won’t find a new apartment that way.”

 

“No, silly!”  Mac playfully slapped him on the shoulder.  “What I meant was why can’t we just stay in *this* apartment?”  Mac paused, then raised one eyebrow suggestively.  “We seemed to have decided that I *won’t* be needing a separate bedroom.  And, considering that all we have done in this bed so far is sleep, we obviously won’t need a baby’s room for at least nine or more months.  So do we really need to get a new place yet?”

 

“Mac, remember what you said right after your apartment burned?  Something about wanting to move on with a fresh start?”

 

“Yeah, vaguely.”

 

“Well, I kind of felt that way too.  As long as we are here, in the back of our minds it will always be *my* apartment, not *our* apartment.  Now that we have finally taken a step forward, a *big* step forward, I should add, I think we should create new memories in a new place, together.  A place that you truly feel you can call home, not just because you live there, but because you have helped to make it your own.”

 

“Makes sense,” Mac mumbled as she pondered Harm’s words.

 

“Besides, I know there are things that this apartment doesn’t have that you want, like a bathtub, a fireplace, a bigger closet with room for lots of comfortable shoes, and privacy.  We definitely don’t have any of that here!”

 

Mac laughed.  “Yeah, your closet most certainly is not big enough, sailor!  And I do miss being able to take a bubble bath in a tub.  Not to mention that there’s just something really romantic about a fireplace…”  Mac’s laughter faded into wistfulness as she spoke.

 

“See?  Getting a new apartment will be much better.  The next time Chloe or Mattie comes to visit, or my mother, aren’t you going to want some privacy in the form of a door on the bedroom?”  Harm grinned mischievously.

 

“Yeah, I definitely think we’ll be needing a door by then, flyboy!”

 

“I’m counting on it!”  Harm wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Mac smiled and kissed him gently.  “But why not a house?”

 

“What?”

 

“A house.  Why don’t we get a house instead of an apartment?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know.  I guess it just doesn’t seem necessary right now.  We won’t really need a yard for a kid to play in until we actually have that kid and he’s old enough.”

 

“Or *she’s* old enough,” Mac interjected.

 

Harm smiled.  “Right.  Either way, with our schedules, yardwork just seems like an unnecessary evil right now.  But I do want a house soon.  And definitely by the time our children are old enough to play in the yard.  I just view a bigger apartment as a temporary stepping stone to that house, giving us time to save up a big down payment.”

 

“So, sailor, are we talking two or three bedrooms here?

 

“Two.  We will *definitely* have a house before we need a third bedroom!”

 

“Okay, any idea where you want to look today?”

 

“I was thinking we could go back to that place near where Bud and Harriet used to live.  I was looking at the pamphlet they gave us, and I think we could easily afford their two bedroom/two bath unit.  In fact, you and I will end up paying a lot less together than the total of what we were paying separately.”

 

“Okay.  I *did* like that area a lot.  And the two bedroom seemed to be a reasonable price for what you get, unlike the overpriced one bedroom I was looking at originally.”

 

“Well, then, marine.  What are we waiting for?  Let’s go find our future home.”

 

-----

 

Chapter 16

 

Sat. Jan. 3   1930 EST

Nero’s Italian Restaurant

 

Harm and Mac sat in a quiet restaurant booth perusing their menus.  They had spent most of the day looking at two bedroom apartments.  They went to the one in Rosslyn first, but since they wanted to be sure, they continued looking.  At the end of the day, however, they ended up right back in Rosslyn signing a lease.

 

After a few minutes, Mac put her menu down and looked up.

 

“What are you getting?”

 

“I was thinking about the Eggplant Parmigiana.”

 

Mac snorted.  “Figures.  I could have guessed *that*!”

 

“Well, I bet I can guess what you’re going to get, too.”

 

“Really?  Try me,” Mac challenged.

 

“Meatball Lovers Deluxe.”

 

“Hmmph.  If we weren’t in such a nice restaurant, I’d throw my napkin at you, just for being right!”  Mac’s eyes danced with laughter.

 

“Please save the artillery assault for when we’re at home, ninja-girl!”

 

“’When we’re at home’.  That sounds so nice.”

 

“It does, doesn’t it?”  Harm reached across the table, took her hand in his, and squeezed it.  He was looking so intently into her eyes that he almost didn’t notice the two familiar faces walking towards them.  When he realized who it was, he quickly jerked his hand back.  They had agreed to not tell anyone except the admiral about their new relationship and subsequent engagement, in order to give him time to figure out how to handle it.

 

Mac was startled by his sudden action, but understood why when she followed his eyes to where Bud and Harriet were approaching their table.

 

“Good to see you, sir.  Ma’am.”  Bud smiled warmly while Harriet nervously mumbled her greeting and eyed them suspiciously.

 

“Good to see you, too.  And you can drop the formalities, Bud.”

 

“Yes, sir.  Mind if we join you?”

 

“Bud, I don’t think they want--”

 

“Why not, honey?  There’s room and they haven’t even ordered yet.”  Bud was clueless as to Harriet’s hesitation.

 

“I just don’t want to intrude on their quiet evening alone,” Harriet muttered softly.

 

“It’s okay, Harriet.  You are more than welcome to join us.  It’s not like we are on a date or anything.”  Harm chuckled, surprised at the ease in which he could lie to them.

 

“Sure could have fooled me.”  Harriet raised one eyebrow suspiciously.

 

“Harriet!”  Bud jerked his head around to look at his wife.

 

“I know how this looks, but we just decided that after a busy day we didn’t feel like cooking, so we went out to eat.  Nothing to it.”  Mac tried to smooth over the awkwardness of the moment.

 

“Busy day?  What was so busy about it?”  Bud asked, thinking he was moving into a safer topic of conversation.

 

“We found an apartment.”  Mac replied.

 

“That’s wonderful news!”  Bud smiled and turned to Harm.  “I bet you’ll be glad to have your own space back, sir.”

 

“Well, I’m not exactly getting my own space back.”

 

“I don’t understand.  If Mac is moving into her own apartment, then--”

 

“Mac isn’t moving into her own apartment.”

 

Bud was totally confused now.

 

“Mac and I are moving into a two bedroom apartment together.”

 

Harriet’s eyes widened in surprise.  “You’re what?”

 

“We’re going to keep living together, just in a new place with more room.”  Harm said matter-of-factly.

 

Bud and Harriet both looked back and forth between the two officers.

 

Mac spoke up.  “We decided that it made more financial sense for us to find a bigger place together, than for me to get a place on my own.”

 

“So you’re going to keep living together for *financial* reasons?”  Harriet questioned.

 

“Yes,” Mac said firmly.  “Well, that and the fact that we are friends who enjoy each other’s company, and *nothing* more.”  Mac avoided looking at Harm, not wanting to give away their secret.

 

“Okay,” Harriet said not too convincingly.  Then a slight smile crossed her face.  “You know, maybe that’s a good idea--you two living together, that is.  I think Harm needs a woman to take care of him, right Mac?”  Harriet caught Mac’s eyes and winked.

 

“Yeah, like all males, he needs a woman to make him better.”  Mac’s eyes flashed impishly as she glanced at Harm.

 

“Oh, you’ll pay for that one later, jarhead!”  With a wink, Harm pointed his finger at Mac and laughed.

 

Harriet amusedly watched their playful interaction, but chose to keep her thoughts to herself.

 

“So where are you moving to, sir?”

 

Harm chuckled at how Bud continued calling him “sir”, despite his earlier request.  “Actually, we are moving to Rosslyn, right down the street from where you two used to live.”

 

“Oh, that’s wonderful!  That’s such a nice area!” Harriet gushed.  “When are you moving?”

 

“Two weeks.”

 

“But your old apartment--you put so much work into it.  I bet you’re going to hate giving it up.”

 

“Well, I may not have to, exactly.”

 

“What?”  Mac jerked her head around to look at Harm, not having a clue what he was hinting at.

 

“Well, I haven’t asked her yet, but I was thinking of subletting it to Coates.  She has been desperately trying to find a place on her own and has discovered, as Mac did, that most decent apartments are quite expensive.  I have been in mine for so long that my monthly payment is very reasonable.”

 

“That’s a great idea, Harm!”  Mac smiled.  “I think Coates will go for it.”

 

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully as the four friends enjoyed a casual meal and avoided any further discussion of Harm and Mac’s personal lives and living situation.  Mac breathed a sigh of relief when they were safely back in the car.

 

“I feel bad lying to our friends like that.”

 

“Mac, you know we can’t tell them yet.  We haven’t even told the admiral yet.  I think we should give him a chance to work out the logistics of having two officers that are engaged before we start telling everybody.”

 

“And until then I guess we are sworn to secrecy.”

 

“Yeah, I think it would be better that way.  If we told Harriet, can you imagine how hard it would be for her to keep it secret when she has to see us every day?”

 

Mac laughed.  “Yeah, remember her reaction when she found out we were living together?  You would have thought she had just won the lottery or something!”

 

“Yeah, how can I forget *that* day!  That’s why I think this is too big of a secret for us to burden anyone at JAG with.  Except for the admiral, of course.  So are we still agreed?”

 

“Yep.  Still agreed”.

 

-----

 

Chapter 17

 

Mon. Jan. 5   0815 EST

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

 

Harm and Mac stood at attention in the admiral’s office.  They had been summoned as soon as they reached JAG that morning.

 

“At ease.  Sit down.”

 

They both glanced at each other quickly as they were seated.  The day before, while shopping for furniture for their new apartment, they had decided to tell the admiral about their new relationship as soon as they got to the office.  Clearly, that would have to wait now, as he obviously had something very important to talk to them about.

 

“Commander, Colonel.  I’ve cleared your schedules.  I’m sending you to the Patrick Henry, ASAP.”

 

Mac barely heard the rest of what the admiral said.  All she could think about was if they were on a carrier they would have to hide their relationship 24/7.  Not only would sleeping together be out of the question, they wouldn’t be able to kiss or even hold hands.  And if someone suspected them, there would be the matter of the appearance of impropriety…

 

The next thing she knew, the admiral was handing a folder to Harm.  “Are you two clear on this?”

 

Mac was about to open her mouth to say something, but Harm cut her off.

 

“Yes, sir.  We’ll get this taken care of quickly.”

 

“Good.  Dismissed.”

 

Both officers quickly exited the office and collected their itinerary from Coates.  Mac, clearly disturbed, hurried across the bullpen to her office, with Harm close on her heals.

 

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Harm said as he closed the door behind them.

 

“Yes, but I had been hoping for ‘later’.  And we had agreed to tell the admiral this morning.”

 

Harm shrugged.  “We’ll tell him when we get back.”

 

“I just don’t like putting it off.”

 

“Mac, the admiral has already reassigned our cases and made all the arrangements.  If we told him about us now, then he might want to replace one of us on the investigation, and that would affect the whole office.  Besides, being stuck on a carrier together is still better than just one of us being out there.  We may not be able to interact quite like we have been the past couple of days, but we will at least be able to talk to each other face to face.”

 

“And if someone suspects our involvement?”

 

“Well, we just won’t let that happen will we?  It’s only a few days.  We were in denial for so many years that going back to hiding our feelings shouldn’t be too hard.  We’ve had a lot of practice, after all.”  Harm smiled in an attempt to soothe her.  “Besides, we aren’t even officially engaged yet, so everything should be okay.  Trust me.”

 

“I do trust you.  I’m just not so sure about all this.”

 

“Well, I’m sure enough for both of us.  Now come on, let’s go home and get our bags packed before we run out of time.”

 

-----

 

Mon. Jan. 5   0945 EST

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

 

“You ready to go, Mac?”  Harm walked toward the door.

 

“I guess I’m as ready as I can be, given the circumstances.”  Mac followed him solemnly.

 

Harm turned around, took her in his arms, and rubbed her back gently to console her.  “Hey, it’s only for a few days.  And it’s not like we’ll be totally separated.  It could be worse, you know.”

 

“I know.  It’s just that it’s so soon after we finally got things right.  I had hoped there would be more time before we had to deal with something like this.”  Mac sighed as a tear escaped and slid down her cheek.

 

Harm wiped the tear away with his thumb and smiled suggestively.  “Well, we’ll just have to make our last kiss last a while.”

 

Mac barely had time to respond before his lips came crashing down on hers.  He kissed her with such a determined intensity that she nearly lost her footing and had to grab onto him to remain upright.  Just as she was about to lose all sense of awareness, Harm pulled back and smiled.

 

“I think we’d better stop before we get carried away and miss our flight.  We’d *really* have a hard time explaining *that* to the admiral, wouldn’t we?”  Harm chuckled as he picked up his sea bag.

 

Mac nodded and smiled, not trusting her voice.

 

“Come on, tiger.  Let’s go.”  Harm winked at her as he held the door open for her.

 

-----

 

Mon. Jan. 5   2200 Local

USS Patrick Henry

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean

 

Harm and Mac had only had time for a few brief, preliminary interviews since they arrived on board.  They sat in Mac’s quarters going over what they had learned so far.

 

“Mac, I just don’t think we have enough yet to go on.”

 

“Harm, of course I realize that we still have a lot of people to talk to, but it wouldn’t hurt to start brainstorming our theories.”

 

“Well, you can brainstorm all you want, but this sailor is going to bed.  We’ll start fresh in the morning.”  Harm rose to leave.

 

“Wait!”  Mac called out suddenly.

 

Harm turned around and looked at her questioningly.  Mac opened her mouth to say something, but closed it in frustration and averted her eyes.

 

“What is it, Mac?  What’s wrong?”  Harm began to walk back toward her.

 

“I think you know,” Mac said softly as she looked at Harm with a longing expression. 

 

When Harm saw the desperate plea in her eyes, he turned and walked to the door without a word.  Mac felt her heart sink as she watched his retreating form.  When he reached the door, however, he didn’t leave.  Instead, he quickly stuck his head out and looked up and down the hallway.  Satisfied that no one was around, he quietly shut the door and turned back towards Mac.  She stood as he walked over to her.  His lips met hers in a sweet, gentle kiss, neither daring to fully give in to their true desires.

 

Harm pulled back just enough to whisper, “I love you.”  He cupped her face in his hand and looked deep into her eyes, not wanting the tender moment to end.

 

“I love you, too.  Now get out of here before you get us in trouble.”  Mac smiled and gave him a slight nudge toward the door.

 

“Aye, aye, ma’am.  See you at 0700.  Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

With one last smile, Harm stepped out of the room and closed the door.

 

Mac sunk into her chair and sighed.

 

[How can it be a good night if you are in another room?]  Mac thought to herself as she began to put her notes away.

 

-----

 

Mon. Jan. 5   2315 Local

USS Patrick Henry

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean

 

Mac tossed and turned, but could not go to sleep.  She smiled as she realized that she wasn’t used to sleeping alone anymore.  For most of the past month, there had always been someone else in the apartment: Harm, Chloe, Mattie.  And now here she was alone in her quarters on a carrier, with Harm far away in his own quarters.

 

[“You’re afraid to be alone.”]  Mic’s voice came back to haunt her.  Maybe he had been right.  She had always been afraid of being alone, even as a child.  Mac stiffened with resolve.  That was *not* why she was with Harm.  She was not with him because he satisfied her need for companionship.  She was with him because she loved him.  And she needed him because she loved him.

 

Suddenly, it was if a light came on inside her head, and she realized what had been wrong with all her other relationships.  She had always tried to love those men because she felt as if she needed them, needed someone.  But with Harm it was different.  She had fallen in love with him before she ever felt as if she needed him.  It was *because* of her love for him that she needed him, not the other way around.  She had had it backwards in all her other dysfunctional relationships.  And in the meantime, her heart had already belonged to him, even before she realized it.

 

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that her love for him was unconditional.  And she was convinced that he loved her the same way.  There was no other explanation for him being willing to wait for her all this time.  As Mac pondered that thought, she finally fell asleep.

 

-----

 

Same time

 

Harm couldn’t sleep either.  All he could think about was the woman he had just kissed an hour ago and how she wasn’t in his arms like she should be.  As much as he loved the navy, there were times when it just plain sucked.  And this was definitely one of those times.  He yearned to have her near him at night, even without the promise of further intimacy yet.  He was content to just hold her close if that was all she wanted, and now he couldn’t even do that!

 

Only Mac could show him the downside of carrier life without a conscious effort on her part.  He had never thought he would actually look forward to *leaving* a carrier and going home quite this much.  “Mac, what have you done to me?” he whispered to himself.  He had never let a woman have that much power over him, but things were different with Mac.  He had always been afraid of losing control, but somehow, letting go and yielding to her didn’t feel like he was losing anything.  In fact, he knew he was gaining much more in return.  With a smile on his face, Harm finally drifted off to sleep.

 

-----

 

Tues. Jan. 6   0715 Local

USS Patrick Henry

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean

 

Harm and Mac sat in a quiet corner of the wardroom eating their breakfast and planning their investigation schedule for the day.  Suddenly, a familiar face appeared at their table.

 

“Skates, good to see you!”  Harm stood, smiled warmly, and shook her hand.

 

“You too, sir.  Ma’am.”  Skates reached out and shook Mac’s hand as well.

 

“Join us, please?”  Mac motioned to the empty chair between them and Skates sat down.

 

“Haven’t talked to you in a while.”  Taking notice of the small gold band on her finger, Harm continued.  “Married life still treating you well, I hope?”

 

“Married life is wonderful, sir.  When are *you* going to finally let go and take the plunge?”  Skates asked playfully,

 

“Soon.”

 

“What?  Don’t tell me the great Harmon Rabb has finally met a woman who can tame him!  Who is this woman?  I’d like to congratulate her.  Have I met her before?”

 

Harm glanced at Mac and surveyed the room before answering.  “Skates, this is top secret information.  Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone yet.  I mean it.  But, yes.  You have met her.”  He briefly looked at Mac again.

 

Skates looked between the two grinning officers.  A big smile crept across her face as the realization dawned on her.  She turned toward Mac.

 

“I get it.  You are the mystery woman.”

 

Mac smiled discreetly.  “Guilty as charged.”

 

“Wow!  After all these years!  Congrats, Mac.  I have to say I’m not surprised.  Harm always talked about you differently than he talked about other women.  I always knew something was there.”

 

“Harm talked about other women with you?”  Mac was incredulous.

 

Skates laughed.  “Not really, but I always managed to drag it out of him.  Getting him to talk about you was always the most challenging, though.  He is the king of denial.”

 

“Well, in his defense, if he was the king of denial, then I was the queen!  We’ve both been pretty stubborn over the years.”

 

Skates laughed again.  “Yeah, you two were made for each other.  So, ‘top secret’, huh?  Am I the first to know?”

 

“Yeah, we haven’t even told the admiral yet.”

 

“We haven’t had a chance--it just happened Friday.”

 

“Well, someday you’ll have to tell me the whole story, but I gotta run right now, or else there will be one angry pilot missing his RIO.”  Skates rose from her chair to leave.

 

Harm grabbed her arm to force her to stop and look back at him.

 

“Remember, not a word about it.”

 

“About what, sir?”  Skates smiled innocently.

 

Harm chuckled as she turned to walk away.

 

“Harm, I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone!” Mac whispered as soon as Skates was out of range.

 

“Well, I don’t think telling Skates is going to hurt.  We won’t be seeing her every day like we do Bud and Harriet, so it won’t be hard for her to keep the secret.”

 

“Okay, if you say so.  But no one else.  Well, except your mother, whom you probably haven’t told yet, have you?”

 

Harm looked down sheepishly.  “Guilty as charged.”  He repeated her earlier words with Skates.

 

“When we get back, sailor, you *will* call her!”  Mac said sternly, but with a smile on her face.

 

“Is that an order?”

 

“You better believe it is, squid!”

 

“Anything else you’d like to order me to do?”  Harm whispered suggestively.

 

Mac’s face flushed pink and she averted her eyes.  Harm just sat there grinning at her reaction.

 

“As a matter of fact, yes.”  Mac turned serious but didn’t lose the smile entirely.  “I order you to get busy with the investigation this morning.”

 

“Aw, colonel, you’re no fun!”  Harm flashed a flyboy smile at her and began to leave the wardroom.  Mac rolled her eyes and followed him out.

 

-----

 

Chapter 18

 

Fri. Jan. 9   1945 EST

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

 

The rest of their time on the carrier was pretty uneventful, except for their evenings just before bed.  Their stolen goodnight kisses proved to be the highlight of the trip.  Each evening was somewhat of a repeat of the first: just a brief moment of intimate contact that ended much too soon.  But as the week progressed, it became harder and harder to limit themselves.  The flame of their forbidden desires kept growing higher and higher.  The fact that they were working so close together but couldn’t really *be* together was only serving to fan those flames of passion.

 

Once they were home, they were barely inside the apartment before Harm’s lips came crashing down on Mac’s and everything culminated into one fiery, explosive kiss.  He felt himself losing control as his hands roamed her body.  Not wanting to push her before she was ready, he mustered all his willpower and tore himself away from her.

 

Harm searched for his voice as he picked up the bag of Chinese food that had suddenly ended up on the floor along with their sea bags.  “I…guess we should…uh…eat our dinner before it gets cold,” he finally managed to say as he walked to the kitchen.

 

A soft “yeah,” was all Mac could get out.  She desperately didn’t want him to stop, but unfortunately her stomach had other plans.

 

They ate quickly and talked about safe topics like what they needed to pack for their upcoming move.  Harm finished eating first and Mac suggested he go ahead and take his shower while she finished eating and cleaned up.  A few minutes later, the kitchen was clean and Mac was taking her shower.

 

Harm was reading in bed when the phone rang.

 

“Rabb.”

 

[Commander.  Glad you two are back.  How did the investigation go?]

 

“Very well sir.  We recommended against an Article 32, sir.  There were just too many factors involved to pin the blame for the accident on the lieutenant.”

 

[Very well, then.  I’ll expect a full report on Monday morning, Commander.]

 

It was at that point that Mac emerged from the bathroom wearing a white, satin nightgown similar to the one she had worn in Russia so many years ago.  She had bought it back when she had gone shopping with Harriet and had kept it hidden in the back of a drawer in the hope that eventually she would get to wear it for Harm.

 

During the past month, she had been sleeping in pajamas or sweats, so the sight of her in a sexy nightgown was a drastic change.  Harm’s jaw dropped and he froze, a look of shock plastered on his face.

 

Mac smiled coyly at his reaction and climbed into bed beside him.  She pressed herself firmly against his side and began trailing her fingers down his chest with one hand while running her fingers through his hair with the other.

 

[Commander?  Are you still with me?]

 

At the sound of the admiral’s voice on the phone, Harm snapped out of his trance just enough to make a coherent excuse.

 

“Yes, sir.  Still here.  Sir, it’s been a…long trip home…and I am…really tired, sir…so if--”

 

[Of course.  I didn’t mean to bother you.  You two enjoy your weekend and get some rest.  And I’ll look forward to your report on Monday.]

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Harm clumsily put the phone down on the nightstand and turned his full attention back to Mac, not that that was hard to do.

 

“Mac?”  Harm looked at her questioningly.  “Does this mean that--”

 

“Yes, I’m ready.”

 

“Are you sure?  I mean, I don’t want to push you to do anything you’re not ready for yet.”  Harm could never forgive himself if he thought she was doing this because she felt pressured.

 

“Yes, I’m sure.  In fact, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.  You are *not* pushing me to do anything I don’t already want to do.  Otherwise, why would I be dressed like this and acting like this?  I did a lot of thinking while trying to sleep alone this week.”

 

“Oh?  And I assume you came to some conclusions this week?”  Harm felt pretty confident asking her such a leading question, given what she was now doing to him with her hands and body.

 

“Yes.  I realized that we’ve already committed our future to each other, and so it might as well start now.  We have too much time already behind us.”  Mac’s voice took on a sultry tone.  “And I also realized how much I need you.  I need you to know how much I love you.  And I need you to love me the way you want to.  And the way I want you to.”

 

By this point, Mac was hovering over Harm and nibbling his neck.  In one swift motion, Harm rolled her onto her back and reversed their positions.

 

“You know, I did some thinking this week, too.”  Harm’s lips were mere inches from hers.

 

“Yeah?  And what did you conclude?”  Mac licked her lips suggestively.

 

“Pretty much the same things you did,” Harm said just before he assaulted her lips.  But this time, unlike all the previous times they kissed, he held nothing back, and neither did she.  And the fire that had smoldered for years, but was finally allowed to burn freely, erupted in flames of passion and desire that lasted well into the night.

 

-----

 

Sat. Jan. 10   0730 EST

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

 

Mac woke up gradually as light filled the room.  She smiled as the events from the previous night flooded her memory.  She felt as if she were still glowing from the amazing love they had shared the night before.  She tilted her head to look up at him and was delighted to find that he wore the same satisfied grin that she did.

 

Harm pulled her close and asked, “Ready for round two?”

 

“Round two?  If I recall, flyboy, we already had round two.  Actually, I’m not sure *what* number we are up to now.”

 

“Me neither, I lost count.  My mind was focused on *much* more important things.”

 

“Oh, really?  Like what?”

 

“Like this.”  Harm’s lips touched hers and he quickly deepened the kiss.  As their tongues danced together, their hands continued their exploration from the night before, ultimately leading to the same climactic conclusion as well.

 

-----

 

Mon. Jan. 12   0900 EST

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

 

The rest of the weekend was spent packing and working on their investigation report in between lovemaking sessions.  By Monday, the report was finished and had been emailed to the admiral, but not a lot of packing had been done.

 

Harm was sitting in his office counting the minutes until their scheduled meeting with the admiral.  Mac walked in, shut the door, and sat down.

 

“Are you as nervous about telling him as I am?”  Mac asked with a guilty smile.

 

“I think I’m as nervous about this as I was about telling my mother!”  Harm laughed.

 

“Well, that went pretty well, so maybe we have nothing to worry about.”  Mac wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more, herself or Harm.

 

Harm thought back to the previous afternoon when he had finally called his mother.

 

---The day before---

 

Harm sat on the couch with the phone in his hands while Mac was busy in the kitchen.  He had cooked so it was her turn to clean up.  He was just staring at the phone trying to build up the courage to dial the familiar number.  He knew he didn’t call his mother as often as he should and that just made this phone call even more difficult to make.

 

Finally, Mac called out from the kitchen.  “Do you need me to dial it for you, squid?  It’s a simple phone call.  And judging from her reaction when I spoke to her and told her I was living here, I think she is going to be ecstatic over our news.”

 

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of!”  Harm chuckled and forced his fingers to dial the phone.

 

[Hello?]

 

“Hi, Mom.”

 

[Harm!  What a pleasant surprise!  How are you?]

 

“I’m fine, Mom.”

 

[How’s Mac?  Has she found an apartment yet?]

 

“Well, not exactly.”

 

[What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?]

 

“She and I found a place together.  We are going to keep living together, but in a bigger place with a little more room.”

 

[Oh?  You’re going to keep living together?  Something tells me there is more to this story.]

 

“Yeah, there is.  Mac and I are engaged.”

 

Harm held the phone away from his ear.  The screams of joy on the other end were so loud that even Mac could hear and she giggled as she dried the last of the dishes.

 

[Harm, this is Frank.  Trish just told me the news.  Well, actually, she shrieked the news at me.  Let me just say that I am very happy for you both.  Wait, I think your mother has calmed down enough to speak so I’m giving the phone back to her.]

 

[Harm, this is the best news I have heard in a long time!  I had my hopes when I found out Mac was living with you, but I also had my doubts.  I would have flown out there myself and personally wrung your neck if you had let her move out without telling her how you really feel.]

 

“Mom, how did you know how I--”

 

[Don’t be silly, son.  I know you too well.  Mothers just know these things.  You talked about her more than you ever talked about any of your girlfriends.  I could tell you cared about her very deeply.  I’m glad you finally admitted it to yourself and to her.  Now when is this wedding going to be?  And there had *better* be a wedding.  Don’t you go off and elope and deprive me of something I have waited your whole life to see!]

 

“Relax, Mom.  We haven’t set a date yet because we are waiting to tell the admiral.  He is going to need to make some arrangements at work and we want to give him time to do that before we start making any plans or announcements.”

 

[Okay, well just let me know when and where and we will be there.  And if you need any help with the wedding expenses--]

 

“Thanks, but we want to stick with something small and simple.  And it will be soon--neither of us are getting any younger.”  Harm laughed.

 

[Soon is good.  It’s already been, what, seven and a half years?]

 

“Something like that.”

 

[Well, keep us informed.  We’ll see you soon.]

 

“Yeah, Mom.  Soon.”

 

---Present Time---

 

The ringing of the phone interrupted Harm’s thoughts.

 

[The admiral will see both of you now, sir.]

 

Harm hung up the phone, squared his shoulders, and followed Mac across the bullpen.

 

-----

 

Harm and Mac sat in the admiral’s office going over the results of their investigation.

 

“It sounds like you two had an interesting week.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Well, relax while you can because who knows what this week will bring us!”  The admiral nodded at them signaling that they were dismissed, but neither made an effort to move.  “Is there something else you would like to discuss?”  AJ put down his pen and looked at them with a puzzled expression.

 

Mac spoke first.  “Well, sir, actually, yes.”

 

“About our ‘temporary’ living situation.” Harm added.

 

“And about what I said about us *not* being involved.”

 

AJ looked directly at Mac as he spoke.  “Do you mean to tell me that what you said wasn’t true?”