Will You Always Be There?

Chapter 63

Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the JAG characters. I don’t own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Any episode up to and including ‘Bridging the Gulf’ may be referred to. Any spoiler floating around out there is fair game.

A/N: Many thanks to aerogirl for her beta reading skills and excellent input.

1930

Friday

March 25^th

McMurphy’s Bar and Grill

Georgetown

Mike and Faith sat at a table they were beginning to think of as theirs. It had been a long week and they were ready for the weekend. Mike was finally making good on his promise of a steak dinner if Faith went with him to Commander Turner’s engagement party. They had finished their meal and were lingering over coffee. They had an ease to their relationship now. The discomfort Faith had seemed to feel at times when they were alone had disappeared. She had allowed him to pick her up this time. He had called for her on his cell phone from his car, though. He hadn’t come up to the apartment.

“Did you enjoy your dinner?” He smiled at her.

“Yes, thank you. It was perfect. I think I’m getting addicted to the steaks here.” If she were honest with herself she would say she was beginning to count on his company as well.

Mike looked up to see Lieutenant Vukovic walk through the door. He nodded but did not rise to greet him. He didn’t trust this guy. Something about him seemed slimy; he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

Faith turned around to see where he was looking. The lieutenant had already seated himself at the bar by the time she saw him. She looked back at Mike. “You really don’t like him, do you?”

“I can’t say that I do.” He turned to look at Vukovic again. “I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I have a really bad feeling about this guy. The concerns you had in the beginning weren’t unfounded.” He thought of telling her about his problems with him when the lieutenant was his second chair but thought better of it.

Faith remembered their ‘conversation’ about him when he had first come to JAG. “Yes, I remember.” She looked down into her coffee cup.

Mike looked at her, knowing what she was thinking about. “I really am sorry about that, Faith.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “It’s all right. It seems like a million years ago that we had that conversation about him. I was still busy giving you my bad first impression.” She also knew that Michael’s pride was a little wounded at the time; she had just beaten him badly in court the week before.

Mike returned her smile. “You have improved with time, Commander.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready to go?” Mike didn’t want the evening to be over yet. “Why don’t we walk down the block and get some dessert?”

“I really couldn’t eat another bite.” She waved him off.

“Well you could go with me while I have -my- dessert” He huffed, feigning irritation.

“All right, counselor, since you gave such an eloquent argument.” She stood and took her coat from the hook near their table.

Mike stood and casually took her coat from her, opening it for her to slip into. He did it as though he had been doing this every day of his life. Faith didn’t make more of it than it was. She thought Mike probably did that for his mother or his sisters or any female friend he happened to be out with. She was glad to be among his friends.

The gesture did not, however, go unnoticed by the lieutenant at the bar.

They left and walked the two blocks to a small bistro, where Faith watched Mike eat an unbelievably rich piece of mocha espresso cake.

2140

McMurphy’s Bar and Grill

Georgetown

Faith and Mike walked past the bar, heading to Mike’s car in the parking lot. The evening had been perfect. Mike had taken her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm and they walked in step. Spring was in the air. The days and nights were getting warmer. The biting cold of winter was becoming a distant memory.

“This has been fun.” Faith looked up at him.

“I agree, I’m having a pretty good time too.” He looked down and winked at her.

“I still can’t believe you ate all of that cake as well as dinner.” She shook her head slightly. “You don’t look as though you have ever overeaten in your life.”

He turned to her and smiled slyly. “Why, thank you, Faith.”

She nudged him slightly. “You know what I mean.”

“No…I don’t think I do.” They had reached his car but he did not open the door. He turned her to face him. “Care to explain?”

“All right, don’t try giving me a hard time, Michael. It never works out for you,”

she answered, looking at him smugly.

Mike decided it was time to change the subject. “I don’t want to go in. It’s so nice outside.” Mike had been looking around and up at the starlit sky. “It’s a beautiful night.” He looked at her.

“I know…” Faith felt the same way, but she was starting to get anxious about getting home. The look he was giving her made her want to invite him to her apartment or herself to his. She knew she wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Faith –”

“Michael –” They both spoke at once and laughed sheepishly.

Faith began. “Michael, I did have a great time tonight. I would love to invite you to my apartment… just for coffee, mind you.” She arched a brow, teasing him. “I don’t want this evening to end, either. I don’t know when I’ve had such a good time.”

Mike decided to help her finish this. “You’re not ready yet, I know.” He wanted to ask what had happened. He wanted to help her if he could. Instead, he impulsively reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

Faith was touched at how patient he was with her. Suddenly it didn’t seem fair to shut him out. “I just need a little more time to work on this.”

“I’d like to help, Faith, if you’ll let me.”

She nodded in answer to his invitation. It was time she trusted someone. She stared at the pavement at her feet, trying to think of how to begin.

“Tell me what happened.” Her hand still in his, he gave it a shake, trying to get her to look at him.

She looked up at him anxiously, “Let’s walk – maybe that will make it easier.”

Along the street there were storefronts with well lit bricked pavement for about three blocks. They started down the street with Faith walking beside him, her arms folded across her chest. Their steps on the pavement seemed loud as she screwed up her courage to start.

“I don’t know where to begin.” She blew out a breath she had been holding.

“You could begin with why it upset you so badly that I was in your apartment.” He tried to keep his tone of voice even and not accusatory. He wanted her to trust him; it was very important to him that she did.

“I…I’m just not sure I can…Some of it was my own fault… my own problem.” She looked toward the street. The shame of that night crept into her consciousness, making her want to draw into herself, even in memory.

“Then talk to me, Faith.”

Faith was silent for a few moments. “Well, you know that I had…a difficult experience.”

“Faith…” He was getting the generic version again.

“All right…It was a long time ago, six years or so. I developed a …crush on a man I worked with. He wasn’t in my chain of command. This was at JAG San Diego. I…this is difficult.”

Mike knew he could give her an out, but he had to know. He wanted to help. Faith was a great person behind that wall. He wanted her to be happy. He waited quietly for her to begin.

“I had just made lieutenant – I and three others at JAG. So we had our wetting down at…” She looked at him. “T.J’s, as a matter of fact.” Faith continued and seemed to lose herself in her story. Her gait slowed and it was as though she weren’t talking to Mike at all.

“I had a little too much to drink and Mark asked me to dance.” She smiled without humor. “I nearly fell into his arms… I must have looked like a fool…You know that dreamy naïve look someone gets when they see only what they want to see? I must have looked that way…I was so wrong about him.”

Mike thought of asking her who this Mark was, but she continued before she had a chance.

“We danced…he held me close and kissed me.” She touched her lips with the tips of her fingers and then remembering herself, self consciously brought her hands down and behind her back. “I had never been kissed like that before. All I wanted was for the night to go on forever.”

She paused and cleared her throat. Her voice was at a monotone. “We went to my apartment…”

Silence.

He reached for her elbow and stopped her. She looked at him with pain and what Mike thought was fear in her eyes. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” He searched her face for a clue, so that she wouldn’t have to say more.

She looked down. “No, not in the way you mean.” She looked away and began again, resuming their walk. “As I said, we returned to my apartment…and we picked up where we’d left off at T.J.’s. I was still dreamily falling into whatever I thought was happening. I had never…but I thought – I thought there was something between us. He said he had noticed me and had wanted to ask me out for a long time. I was so naïve and stupid. I mistook that for lo… I was wrong.”

They approached the parking lot where Mike’s car was parked.

“Faith, you don’t have to say more. I’m almost sorry I pushed you about this.” He walked her to the passenger side of the vehicle. He didn’t know who this Mark guy was, but he wanted to break him in half.

Faith leaned back against the car door. She looked up at Mike, and without saying a word, the look in her eyes told him she would continue. She reached for his arm and gave it a light touch, trying to reassure him that she would be okay. She looked away after that gesture, though, still not able to look into his eyes and speak of something so intimate.

“It started out so…perfectly. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought that he…” She was silent for a moment. “Anyway, one thing led to another and I…because I was so inexperienced…my body just didn’t react as it should have.” She shivered suddenly, folding her arms across her chest. It was not from cold but from the way the situation still made her feel. Mike took off his jacket and draped it loosely around her shoulders.

“Mark was less than kind…he seemed to take it as a personal affront. He kept asking me what my problem was. He was throwing around the word ‘iceberg’ pretty freely. Needless to say, the evening ended quickly and by Monday it was all over JAG that Lieutenant Coleman was an ‘iceberg.’”

Mike knew now that there was a lot more going on that night they were in T.J.’s than he had realized. He was gladder than ever that he had helped her put those ‘ladies’ in their place.

Faith looked back at him. “So…now you know. I know it was my own fault…I didn’t really know this guy…I just had this dream of the person I thought he was.”

Mike couldn’t stand to hear her blame herself anymore. “That was –not- your fault, Faith. Don’t blame yourself because this guy was an ass.”

Faith nodded. “I know that with my head. In hindsight, I know I used it as an excuse to block people out of my life. I’m just not very good at interpersonal relationships.”

Mike reached out to touch her arm and stroked it lightly with the palm of his hand. “I don’t know about that. I think you and I are doing pretty well with our interpersonal relationship.” He gave her a soft smile.

Faith looked into his eyes and to her relief saw no judgment there. She looked lower at his lips, suddenly wanting to kiss them so badly that she leaned forward slightly.

Mike was standing just inches in front of her as she leaned against the car. He reached out and gently grasped her waist with one hand and pulled her nearer to him. This time it was about them. He wasn’t thinking about friendship; he just wanted to show her how special he thought she was. He tasted her lower lip then the top and opened her mouth with his own. As he deepened the kiss, his hand slipped behind her back, pulling her against him.

Faiths hands rested lightly on his chest. She was enjoying this but not giving herself over to his kiss.

He broke the kiss and looking into her eyes and whispered, “There’s nothing ‘cold’ about you, Faith.”

Suddenly Faith felt a surge of feminine power that she had never felt before. She kissed him back, and as she gave herself over to the kiss, she became the aggressor. She was holding a man in her arms that she trusted. One she knew would never hurt her.

He slipped both arms around her waist, snaking them around behind her with his hands coming to rest low on her back. She responded by pulling his body to hers tightly. She trailed her hand up his chest and around his neck. She held his mouth to hers, delving deeper, savoring his flavor. She was hungry for this feeling – the feeling of being totally lost in and connected to someone at the same time.

A low rumbling sound came from deep in his chest when she deepened the kiss. He pushed her back against the car and gave her back everything that she was giving him. He couldn’t get close enough as he pulled her body up and into him.

They both seemed to remember themselves at the same time. They broke the kiss. Faith suddenly felt self-conscious and started to slip out of his embrace.

“No…just hold on…a moment.” This moment had been too perfect. Mike wasn’t going to let it end badly.

She gave him a questioning look.

“No backing away and hiding.” Mike was still slightly short of breath.

“Mike, I…”

“Hang on, Faith…just let me…hold on.” He looked at her with a sappy smile on his face. He was holding her loosely in his arms.

She looked at him and couldn’t help but return the smile. “That was…”

He finished her sentence. “Very nice.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek and stepped back to open the car door for her.

They didn’t notice Lieutenant Vukovic standing in the shadows just outside the entrance to McMurphy’s. Vukovic waited until they left the parking lot to return to his car.

He thought, ‘You never know when something like this could come in handy.’ He spoke aloud to himself, “Very nice indeed.”

0635

Saturday

March 26^th

Rabb Farm

Belleville, Pennsylvania

Harm stood on the front porch drinking his coffee. He had gotten up before anyone else just to have this moment. He loved this place. Oscar sat at his feet, standing his watch with his favorite visitor. It was still cool outside, but spring was well underway. The trees were budding and the grass was greening up. In the distance he could hear what sounded to him like a tractor. Spring was a busy time in the country; he and Mac had noticed a lot of the fields they had seen on their way in that had already been tilled and replanted.

The simple ease of this place grounded him. Mac had known he needed to come back here for a while and he already felt better just being here. It was going to be a clear day; the sun had risen giving off its blinding yellow light to the east. The sky seemed bluer and the air cleaner after the cold of winter. Harm walked down the steps and Oscar followed. He reached down to scratch him behind his ears. Eight-year old-Oscar was now a puppy again and jumped up, resting his paws on Harm’s side. Harm picked up a stick and threw it, sending Oscar bounding off down the drive.

Mrs. Rabb looked out of her kitchen window. She had heard Harm get up, and had waited until he had gone outdoors to get up. She knew he needed this time. Whatever worries or concerns he had about the new baby coming, he seemed to have resolved them for the time being. She was so glad for both his and Mac’s sake. Mac had come downstairs and poured herself a cup of the ‘decaf’ she was drinking now. Harm had made it for her before he left the house, knowing she wouldn’t be far behind him.

“Good morning, Sarah.” Mac stood next to her at the window. She saw Harm walking down the drive. They both knew where he was going. Mac wanted to go with him, but thought she might intrude on some quiet time Harm needed.

“Go on, Mac, he’s been up and out for quite a while.” Mrs. Rabb nudged her, and she started for the front door and the porch beyond it.

Harm drew in a deep breath, taking in the scent of the turned earth and the farm. He started walking down the path to the gravel driveway. He thought of his mother and father. He felt so close to them here; he could not understand why, but when he walked this drive it was almost as though he could see them both. Over the years, when he thought of his father in his everyday life, he had trouble picturing him in his mind’s eye. There were times lately when he was that way about his mother as well, but when he walked here, he couldn’t picture one of them without the other. The image was clear and there was no pain attached to the memory.

He heard a sound behind him and looked back toward the house, where Mac stood on the porch with her cup of coffee in hand. She was wearing jeans and one of his sweatshirts from the Seahawk. Her face was freshly scrubbed and her hair pulled back from her face. She looked about 15 years old.

“Hey, Sailor, do you mind if I tag along?” She had thought about letting him take his walk alone this morning. She decided she wanted to be with him this morning, in this place. Their lives had been so busy and complicated – she just wanted to walk with him and just be.

Harm smiled at her. “Sure, come on.”

Mac sat her coffee cup on the rail of the porch and walked down the drive to him. She slipped her arm around him and tucked herself under his arm. They began to walk down the drive, automatically in step, without missing a beat. Mac thought it was as though they were one person walking down the drive.

“How long have you been up?” She looked up at him.

“About an hour.” He nodded toward Oscar, who was leading the way. “Oscar and I watched the sun rise.” They had walked over to the family cemetery and left the daffodils that he had brought with him on his mother’s grave. Harm thought that he needed that time alone to remember her.

“I love this place.” She looked around her and at the canopy of trees over them. Most of the trees had tiny green leaves sprouting, contrasting beautifully against the blue of the sky. The trees made no shade and the sun shone brightly through the branches.

“I do too. I didn’t spend as much time here as I could have when I was younger, but I still feel like I did a lot of my growing up here.”

Mac gave his waist a slight squeeze. “Me too.” She looked up at him and gave him a knowing look.

Harm pulled her closer and kissed her temple. He was so glad to be here and to be with her. He’d had to go away to Fentress last week for his F/A-18 quals. “You know, I’m going to have to finish my F/A-18 carrier quals between now and May, right?” He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“I know…you still miss it, don’t you?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.” They stepped onto the path along the creek heading to Harm’s favorite place.

Mac let go of his waist and took his offered hand as she followed him down the path. “I can tell.”

They walked along in silence for a few moments until he came to the rock he liked to rest upon. He climbed up and held a hand out to Mac. She stepped easily up and stood next to him.

“Are you going to tell me to let go of that lifeline before it becomes a noose?” He gave her an indulgent look, before helping her sit down. He sat down behind her, stretching both legs out on each side of her and enclosing her in the circle of his arms.

She leaned back slightly, resting her head on his shoulder. “No.” She took his both of his hands in hers and wrapped them around her waist. “So much has changed since then. We’re both different people now. When I said that I think I was still afraid I’d lose you. I thought back then that it wasn’t possible for us to be anything but friends. I thought if you were at JAG I could keep you in my life. A carrier and your love of flying had taken you out of my life once, and I was afraid it would happen again.”

“I don’t plan on carrier duty any time soon.” He let go of her hands and placed both of his on her stomach. “I’ve got a new project in the works right now.” Her low rise jeans allowed him to flatten his palm over the soft swell of the lower part of her abdomen. He felt a slight flutter under one of his hands. “Was that – ?”

Mac had felt the baby moving a few times during the past week, but always by the time Harm had his hand on her stomach the baby would still. “Yes… you finally felt it.”

“She’s going to be here before you know it.” He pulled her tighter into his embrace with

a satisfied smile spreading slowly across his face.

“She?”

“Did I say that?” Harm had been thinking of the baby as a girl; he didn’t know why.

“So…you think it’s a girl?” She turned slightly so she could see his face.

“I do.” He grinned sheepishly.

Mac had been thinking the same thing. She really had wanted a girl first, but with all the problems she had she would settle for healthy.

“So, Daddy… do you have a name in mind?” she teased.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I do.” He wasn’t sure how she would feel about it. It was her baby too, after all. “Jacqueline Patricia.”

She loved it. They would name their daughter for their friend and his mother. She chuckled a bit when she thought of Jack telling them on their wedding day that they could name their first born child after him. “I love it, Harm.”

“Are you sure? We can talk about other names. We don’t have to settle on this one so soon.”

“It’s perfect. I love the way it sounds when I say it. Though, you know, we could have a boy.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t think so.” He pulled her closer to him and felt a happiness and peace that he couldn’t describe. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the scent of her soap and shampoo. “Mmm… let’s just stay out here all day.”

Mac turned to face him again, and he kissed her before she had a chance to speak. After a long moment she broke the kiss. “Hey, I thought you came out here to do your serious thinking.” She grinned at him mischievously.

He kissed her lightly and looked into her eyes. “I’m thinking…seriously.” He began to kiss her again, but they were startled by Mattie calling them from the drive. She could see them plainly from where she stood.

“Hey, when are you two going to start acting like old married people?”

Mac laughed. “Saved by the bell.”

“Grandma sent me to find you – she has breakfast ready.”

“Okay.” Harm sighed and backed away from Mac to stand up. He helped her stand and then climbed down the rock. He held out a hand and she let him help her down.

As Mac followed him down the path toward Mattie, she whispered so that the teen could not hear her. “You know, Harm, I’ve been feeling great, but I don’t think I’m up to sex in the great outdoors.”

Harm stopped on the path and turned to kiss her cheek. “Come on, Mac…where is your sense of adventure?”

“Oh, go on.” Mac turned him around by his arms and pushed him down the path, laughing all the way.

Harm walked up the drive with a beautiful girl he loved tucked under each arm. At that moment he felt like the luckiest man on earth.

0830

Saturday

Faith Coleman’s apartment

Alexandria, Virginia

Faith stood at her kitchen sink. She had already had breakfast and been for her morning run. She felt so good this morning. She couldn’t remember when she had ever felt so happy. Last night had been wonderful. Mike had brought her home and kissed her goodbye at her door. She’d been afraid he would ask to come in … it might have been okay, but he chose not to.

She still had a lot to work out; he seemed to know that without her having to say anything. She knew she had to let other people in her life, and that everything couldn’t hinge on his friendship. Michael had just helped her renew her faith in human kindness. She had feelings for him. She couldn’t deny it, and she didn’t want to anymore. She just wasn’t sure where to go from here. She had never really had a long term relationship with anyone. She didn’t want to make more of it than it was, but she didn’t want to let this slip away, either. Michael was already too special to her.

Time would tell, she supposed. She would just have to trust what she and Michael had as friends to work this out.

1600

Sunday

March 27

Rabb Farm

Belleville, Pennsylvania

Harm loaded the last of their things into the SUV. They had to be back and ready to go Monday morning. Mac had been able to get an extra day, but he hadn’t. Mattie wanted to get back that night anyway. Two days was all she could take away from her computer and her friends. Harm hugged his grandmother.

“It was good to have you all here this weekend.” She kissed his cheek and released him. She turned to hug Mattie next. “I especially enjoyed this one.” She patted her back as she spoke.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get back here. I promise it won’t be three months between visits next time.”

“It’s all right. I understand, Harmon. Maybe I’ll come and see you next time. I could try and talk Jack into bringing me to Washington again.” Mrs. Rabb had enjoyed her last visit, though it had been short.

They were all loaded in the vehicle, and Mrs. Rabb stood beside the driver’s side and spoke through Harm’s open window. “Try and keep him out of trouble, Mac.” She winked at Mac and gave Harm’s arm a pinch, eliciting a laugh from Mac and Mattie.

Harm put the vehicle into gear and as he was driving away said to his grandmother, “Hey, I’ll give Jack a call. I’m sure he would love to bring you down…as long as you don’t drive.”

It took Mrs. Rabb a second to register what he had said. “Oh! Harmon Rabb.” He was already out of reach, though she could hear him laughing all the way down the driveway. He honked his horn as he pulled out and she waved goodbye to them all.

1000

General Creswell’s office

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm and Faith had been summoned to the general’s office. They both sat in front of his desk and waited as he read over a file that sat in front of him on his desk. He spoke:

“Commander Rabb, I want you to head up a JAGMAN investigation of a fire that occurred over the weekend in the family housing unit at Little Creek. There are a few complicating factors. The first one is that a Master Chief David Graham, a SEAL, was killed in that fire. Another is that this is one of the men whose picture was published in all the major newspapers interrogating a prisoner on the ground in Iraq. The last one is that the surviving spouse has asked that the lead NCIS investigator not be involved in this case.”

The general extended his hand, and Harm rose and took the file from it. He sat back in his chair. Harm had heard about the pictures being published; there had been talk about suing the newspapers involved. He opened the file and read the name aloud. “Jethro Gibbs?” He looked at Faith with raised eyebrows. He just figured that this was yet another person that Gibbs had pissed off. He turned to look back at the general. “Did she say why, sir?”

“Yes, she is his first wife.”

TBC