Up From the Ashes
By SuzyRNC
E-mail address: linda_mcc@cox.net
Rating: No one under 15 should be reading this - adult situations, language, violence and sexual content
Classification: Shipper/Romance -
Harm and Mac
Spoilers: Up through season 8’s
Christmas episode, “All Ye Faithful".
Disclaimer: JAG, its characters and
premise are the exclusive property of Bellasarius Productions, Paramount
Television and CBS Entertainment. No monetary gain is appreciated from this
endeavor, nor is any copyright infringement intended. I only borrowed then for a
few days, I’ll put them back, no muss, no fuss.
1500 Zulu
Near
The
“She never stood a chance, sir.” Lance Corporal Michael King said to the Sergeant beside him. “Looks like she was ejected before the explosion. Most of her injuries are to the Head and face. She never knew what hit her, Sir.”
“Corporal, get your men ready for body recovery, start with the female. Let’s take a look at her tags.” The Corporal assisted the Sergeant in turning the body for identification.
“Good Lord, she is a Lt. Colonel! What was she doing on a supply helo? King, who is she?”
Corporal King reached into the collar of the woman’s top. Her dog tags were gone, probably torn away. He noticed them in her hand and removed them from her fingers. After looking at her rank and pulling out her Dog Tags, he read aloud, “Mackenzie, Sir. Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie.”
******************
1700 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
“So, Commander Turner, you will Prosecute, Lt. Cmdr. Manetti, you will defend. I know that a D and D is not the most exciting of cases, but I know that you two will take it on with the utmost responsibility and professionalism. Any other questions?”
Cmdr.
Harmon Rabb leaned forward in his chair as he spoke. “Yes sir, I have one. When
should we expect Col. Mackenzie back from
“She was off base conducting an incident investigation for an incident that occurred during a training exercise. I spoke with her at 1530 yesterday, when she was heading out via helo to observe some evening exercises before concluding her investigation. She said that she should be done early to mid morning today, and that she expected to be back here tomorrow. So it seems that you may have to hold down the end of Senior Attorney alone for one more day, Commander.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Harm said, holding a sheepish grin at bay.
The Admiral continued. “That is all. Dismissed.”
The group broke up from their meeting and
each member made their respective way back to their offices. Admiral A.J.
Chegwidden, coffee cup in hand, made his way to the break room to refill his cup
before tackling anything else today. His normal meeting time was 0800, but he
was busy with the new SECNAV until nearly
Unbeknownst to the Admiral, there was another person who shared the feeling of dread. This sick sense of foreboding filled Harm’s thoughts, turning his night into a fitful, restless night, punctuated by a few moments of sleep, ended by horrible nightmares. He could never remember what the dreams were about, but the pounding of his heart and the sweat-soaked brow alerted him to just how real it must have seemed. His mind always went to Mac. Where was she? She always called at least once a day when she was assigned outside of DC. He had a voicemail message from her yesterday morning at 1100 saying that she knew he was probably in court and that she would be wrapping things up and heading back today. But since then, he had heard nothing from the Marine. He shook his head, maybe he was just paranoid. Things had been awfully quiet lately and maybe he was just not used to the silence. Maybe he was just worried for nothing. Maybe he is just in love with his best friend and was anxious to be near her.
The thought surprised him slightly, mainly because he had not tried to rein it in; stopping it and attempting to mentally wrestle it back in to the far recesses of his mind. But he could not stop it; he did not want to stop it. He and Mac had spent more time together since she returned from the Seahawk, and their close friendship seemed to be blossoming, which was a direct change from the recent past. After Mac and Brumby called off their wedding, one would have assumed that we would have gotten together. Hell, I think that the office was even running a pool on it! Harm laughed to himself over that thought. But so far, it was not to be. For a short while, it looked as if they were finally growing closer, only to stop by hurting each other in one way or another, small or large. But this past few weeks, the pair were spending a good deal of time together out of work and the two seemed to be cultivating that long-lost relationship that had not been around since he had left to go back to flying planes, and had nearly died outright in Sydney when yet another joint miscommunication and hesitation on his part resulted in Mac appearing at the Airport sporting Mic Brumby’s diamond ring. This time, Harmon Rabb was ready for it, he would not rebuff his feelings, but he was not going to push Sarah Mackenzie away from him by advancing this relationship until she showed some signs that she too was ready for more. He worried that perhaps she might misread his actions as disinterest; when it could not be further from the truth. When she returned, he would have that talk with her that he should have had so long ago. Oh well, one more day. Please come home soon, Sarah. He thought to himself as he felt that sick feeling wrench a bit tighter in his gut. Harm’s thoughts were silenced by the ringing of his intercom.
“Yes?” He answered to Petty Officer Tiner’s call.
“Commander, the Admiral would like you to see him in his office, ASAP.”
“I am on my way, Tiner.” Harm replied as he hung up the phone.
The few feet to the Admiral’s office seemed like miles as he slowly made his way to see his commanding officer. The feeling in his gut was back, working on overtime. Tiner waved him to go in to the office and held the door open for Harm, allowing him to pass through.
This is something important, something about Mac. His thoughts sounded out as he stepped into the Admiral’s office. He snapped to attention, awaiting the Admiral’s orders as he announced his presence.
“You wanted to see me…” His voice was cut off by the constriction in his throat as he saw the look in Admiral Chegwidden’s face. His eyes were full of pain, and his face was ashen. Harm swore that if he looked hard enough, he may even see tears. Oh God.
“Commander,
I have just received word that Mac was observing field training exercises
yesterday and decided to stay and watch the afternoon exercises as well, with
plans to helo back to
Harm felt the strength leave his body as he heard the words leaving the Admiral’s lips. He slowly sank down in the chair, awaiting the remaining information.
AJ
took a deep breath and continued. “SAR teams were dispatched when the helo
failed to land at
Harm felt the breath leave his lungs. No, this wasn’t happening. No, the info is wrong. She wasn’t there.
“Sir, that cannot be right. Mac had to have lifted out on another helo. Maybe she drove back. Sir, she’s probably out there lost, or something.” Harm’s mind was grasping at anything, trying to make sense of this, to make the Admiral see that this was not right.
“Commander, I…” AJ said as he felt his throat tense up. He could not do this, but he had to continue. “Commander, Harm. They found her body. She was the first one they got to. She had been ejected from the Huey, and torn up pretty bad. She was in her field uniform and had her dog tags, which identified her. I’m sorry, Harm.”
“No, No, this isn’t happening. NOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!” He felt the rage in his body well up and explode out though his voice. The bullpen was silent, frozen when they heard the anguished screams. Harm pushed open the doors and ran out of the office, through the bullpen to the stairs and outside into the courtyard before he collapsed onto a tree on the grassy area outside the building, the air completely gone from his lungs.
The Admiral could do nothing but watch him go, for he did not have the strength yet to stand. He felt sucker-punched, as if it were his own child that had just been killed rather than a subordinate and friend. He took a deep breath, attempting to clear his thoughts. The staff would need to be notified. The Marines were taking care of notifying Mac’s Uncle and would attempt to locate and notify her Mother as well. Reaching over and picking up the phone, AJ Chegwidden prepared himself to do something that he never again imagined that he would have to do.
“Yes sir?” Tiner asked as the intercom rang,
“Tiner….Tiner, get all staff together in the bullpen, Commander Rabb excluded. I need to…I need to relate some news. Ten minutes, Tiner.” AJ said as he tried to pull from his inner resources to do this monumental task. Meanwhile, he could not stop thinking about Harm. He must feel as if his world has been ripped away. They seemed to be getting closer. I always figured I would have to stick my neck out for them one of these days to keep them here together. It seemed as if they were destined to be together. God, how he must feel. How will be ever be the same?
But feeling was not what Harmon Rabb was doing at that time. He was numb, angry, he could feel her still. There was no way that she would be dead! He would know it! He pounded the tree with each thought that came to him, his knuckles bruised and bloody from the rough bark tearing at his skin. How could this happen? How could she do this? Dammit Sarah! It was not supposed to be this way! We were supposed to be together!
His heart was crushed, his thoughts fled, leaving him only with images of his beloved Sarah. His heart torn apart with grief, and he knew that if this were true, he would never again be the same.
“Attention on deck!” Petty Officer First Class Jason Tiner called out as Admiral Chegwidden moved into the bullpen. The gathering of Sailors and Marines rose to attention as the call was made, only to be released at an “At ease” ordered by their CO.
AJ stood in a relaxed posture with his arms crossed and looked at the floor, as if looking for something there that would give him the answer for what to do next. The silence in the room was thick with anticipation for an reason for this meeting. He never realized that the saying “Silence is deafening” was really true until this moment. He took a deep breath and slowly raised his head to address his staff.
“As
you all know, Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie has been out of the office for the
past three days on an investigation near
AJ paused to take a deep breath before continuing, and tried to keep his voice from breaking.
“The helo that Col. Mackenzie was returning on disappeared from radar approximately ten minutes after takeoff.”
The
gasps of disbelief from the listeners and the wail of shock from Harriet broke
the Admiral’s announcement. He paused momentarily to let what he was telling
them sink in, and then continued. “The base at
The Admiral turned efficiently and entered his office. He knew that most would have questions, but not only did he have any more information at this time; he couldn’t face them any longer than he already had. How would he or anyone who knew Sarah Mackenzie ever be the same again?
******************
2400 Zulu
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm sat in the darkness of his apartment, the dark hiding the grim look on his face, but his heart felt the same, regardless of light. He had sat there for hours, watching the sun start its descent, filling the sky with shades of pink and gold, before the last rays of light slowly disappeared into night. He took the last sip of beer, finishing one of the many empty bottles that lay scattered on the floor next to his chair. Drinking did not help, but it did seem like a good idea at the time. His world was gone, in one single sentence: “there were no survivors”. His brain warred with his heart. His head said that she was dead; they recovered her body. Accept it, and leave it alone. However, his heart was telling him that it was all a big mistake; that Mac was going to call or knock on his door at any moment and that believing anything else would be wrong. He decided that he would call the Admiral in the morning and let him know that he would not be in. To be honest, he felt like calling him and telling him that he did not know if he would ever be in, how could he return to the one place that reminded him of his best friend, his confidant, the woman that he loved, but was until now afraid to admit it?
Harm’s thoughts were punctuated by a soft knock on the door. His heart leapt; Mac! Rushing to the door, his heart was once again reminded of her absence when the figure on the other side was not Mac, but rather the Admiral.
“I hope I am not intruding, Harm.” AJ spoke quietly, waiting to be invited in.
“No sir. I apologize for the spread here, sir. I was not expecting company. As a matter of fact, I was thinking that I would call you in the morning and let you know that I would not be in.” Harm explained.
“Harm, I did not expect you to be in. Frankly son, I am worried about you. Look at your hands; they look like you tried to go head to head with Mike Tyson. You are here in the dark, surrounded by beer bottles. Mac would not like the fact that you are doing this to yourself.” The Admiral said plainly.
“With all due respect, Admiral. Mac is not here, is she? No she is dead, and I don’t know how to deal with that. So, I apologize if I am not coming apart the way that she or anyone else would like me to!” Harm said, feeling the beginnings of rage rising in his voice.
AJ took a deep breath before beginning. “Harm, there is no right or wrong way of grief, but the difference is how you express it. This is not healthy, and you have to redirect this. The Rabb I know would try to remember the woman that he had the wonderful opportunity to share part of his life with and try to move forward with the knowledge that she would want him to be happy.”
“Sir, I can’t move forward, not like that. I did have wonderful times with Mac and I will cherish them, but the fact remains that we were robbed! Sarah was…is more to me than just a friend sir, she is my everything; I love her, I am in love with her, but my dammed foolish sense of pride kept me from telling her. Now I can’t. Ever. Dammit! It isn’t fair!” Harm’s rage overtook him and he grabbed an empty beer bottle and threw it at the far wall of his apartment, shattering it into small glass fragments on the floor. He fell to the floor, his tears now falling freely, unable to halt them any longer.
AJ stayed with the broken man until his tears ceased. He watched as Harm fell into a fitful sleep on the sofa. He rose and secured the apartment before leaving. He wrote a short note for the Commander to call him later and any other time he needed him, day or night. Closing the door behind him, he returned to JAG headquarters to see if any more information had come in concerning the crash.
******************
Harm
slept until 0500, and then he rose, feeling a little stronger. He showered and
changed into his running clothes. Running always helped him think. The only
thing that helped him sort things out better was to fly Sarah, but that was out
of the question today, his hangover would prevent him from considering that
option too seriously. Harm ran to
Arriving back at his apartment, Harm decided to act on his feeling. Picking up the phone, he dialed the Admiral.
“Harm, how are you feeling?” AJ asked, his voice tinged with concern.
“Sir, I am a little better. I have a favor to ask of you sir. I want to be part of the investigation.” Said Harm in a determined tone.
“Commander, there is no way that you would be allowed on this investigation. You are too close to this. Your findings would be challenged. You know that.” AJ tried to reason with him.
“Sir,” Harm began. “I know that I would not be allowed to run the lead on the investigation, but I want to be a part of it. I have to know what happened. I won’t be able to let go if I don’t know for myself. Please sir.”
AJ
took a moment to think before answering. “Alright Harm, but you will not have an
official role in this investigation. Commander Turner is in charge. He has been
on site at
“Aye, sir. Sir, I need a favor of you, if possible. I would like Commander Coulter to do the autopsy, sir. She has a way with forensics, sir. She cares about the truth and has been a strong asset in the past.” Harm said quietly.
“I
took a call from Commander Coulter this morning, first thing. She called as soon
as she heard and asked for the right to perform the autopsy at
“Sir, thank you. I appreciate this more than you can know.” Harm said softly, fighting tears as he hung up.
Drying his eyes, he took another shower, changed into his uniform and headed out to
******************
1330 Zulu
Breakaway Ridge
Near
Harm stepped out of the Jeep, and took in the crash site. He felt close to Mac here, for some reason. He took in the dense brush and the debris strewn in a small area that was for the most part, corded off. Making his way towards the Huey, he found Sturgis at the rear left side of the copter, staring over what appeared to be the tail rotor.
“Sturgis, have you got anything?” Harm asked plainly.
“Harm, didn’t expect to see you. As far as it can be determined, the pilot and Mac were ejected. They found her there, at that small clearing. The rest of the crew was still in the Huey. I hadn’t found anything till now, take a look at this. The tail rotor blade is bent and a piece of it is missing.” Sturgis observed.
“Well, it was probably torn away in the crash.” said Harm.
“I thought so too at first, but take a look at this, doesn’t the edge seem too clean for a tear? Look at the other damage, all of it is jagged from being torn away. This is clean.” Turner pointed out.
“Yeah, look at that. Now that you mention it, it does not match any of the other damaged areas around it. We need to get it under a microscope to see if we can get anything specific from the edge.” Harm suggested.
“Consider it done.” Sturgis replied, the paused before he commented. “You aren’t going to go to the autopsy are you? Harm, I don’t think that it would do you any good to put yourself through that.”
Harm
stopped his comment. “Sturgis, I am going to
After going to the Marine Base and questioning the CO, and all those mentioned in the initial investigation report, Harm returned back to the crash site. He had found nothing of consequence, but the feeling in his gut did not bode well with him. He took the rugged path back up to Breakaway Ridge and walked every inch of the crash site looking for clues, to no avail. Taking one last look around before leaving, he was drawn to the small clearing where Mac’s body was reported to have been located. He stood in the clearing for several minutes, eyes closed as if meditating, or perhaps trying to picture what her last few moments of life must have been like. In a strange way, this seemed to comfort him. She died serving her Country, doing her job and was surrounded with her fellow Marines. In a morbid sort of thought, he realized that it was probably a good way to go, she probably went quickly. But still, it felt wrong, something wasn’t right. As he turned and headed back to the transport, the still, small voice in his gut was still calling to him, and would not stop until he uncovered the whole truth about what happened to Sarah Mackenzie.
******************
2000 Zulu
Marine Infantry Readiness Exercises
Near
THIRTY SIX HOURS EARLIER
Mac
had spent the better part of two days investigating the death of a Marine during
the first stage of his Infantry field training. After a couple of false starts
and questionable practices and procedures, the facts seemed to point to human
error on the part of the Marine, due to a lack of any credible evidence to
support the contrary. She had her doubts, but nothing had been found to prove to
her otherwise. She had been invited to observe the final phase of the exercise
and she decided that it would be advisable to do so, just as an added measure of
surety that she had indeed come to the right conclusion. She had been tough and
asked the hard questions, but that was her duty and she would make her official
findings known to the Company CO the following day upon her return to JAG
Headquarters and after she had reported back to the Admiral. She had met with
the Colonel yesterday afternoon to deliver her preliminary findings per his
request, delivering the report to him after disturbing a rather heated exchange
between him and a junior officer. She flew over on a Supply Huey accompanied by
the liaison officer, Lt. Amanda Harris. The night exercises were to take several
hours, ending sometime mid to late evening. From her vantage point, the
exercises seemed to be going smoothly. At
least something was going smoothly. Amanda Harris was a loyal Marine, although a
bit of a klutz. She had managed to break her ink pen all over her cammies. She
had ink everywhere. Fortunately for her, I had already packed and had an extra
set with me. So she gets to be a Lt. Colonel for a while, I think that it can be
overlooked until she can get back on base and get me back the field uniform.
Then to top it all off, she trips and me being the helpful Marine, I try to
break her fall, managing to get her hand caught in my dog tag chain. I was
getting a bit tired of her apologies, but to tell you the truth, she reminded me
a little bit of Bud when we first met; sincere, honest and a good person
overall, just a little too nervous when around those of a higher rank. I tried
to tell her not to bother replacing the chain, that I would do it, but she
seemed so determined to make it right, I did not have the heart to stop her.
As she was observing the troops’ movement on position charts and reflecting over the day’s events to herself, a hand touched her arm. Turning slowly, she saw an unexpected figure: Clayton Webb. He had a serious look in his eye as he motioned her to follow him.
He walked with her away from the observation post and over to a wooded area a few meters away using the cover of night to his benefit. He motioned for her silence, and then turned as if to check if they were being watched before he spoke.
“Mac, I don’t know what you have done, but you have managed to stir up a hornet’s nest. You are not safe.” Webb said quietly.
“Webb, what are you talking about?” Mac was confused.
“I don’t know what you found here, but my operatives came across communication that mentioned you and specifically said that you were too close and that you were to be sanitized.” He explained.
“Does ‘Sanitized’ mean what I think it means?” She asked, remarkably calm.
“If your definition includes being measured for a pine box, then you are right on the money. Come with me for a while, until we can figure out who is behind this.” He explained.
“Webb, I want to be a part of this. I am not going to sit idly by while you run off and try to find out on your own. I need to find out what is going on.” She said forcefully.
Webb, getting nervous at the amount of time they were out in the open, agreed. “OK, Mac, you can help. Let’s go. Do not contact anyone back at JAG, not even Harm; they may be tracing the lines.”
She followed Webb back to his vehicle. As she entered his vehicle and prepared to leave the exercises, her thoughts about the young, nervous Lt. were forgotten. Surreptitiously, the two slipped away, seemingly unnoticed by the practicing troops.
******************
2000 Zulu
PRESENT DAY
Harm stepped through the doorway of the Department of Pathology quietly. He made his way through the small maze of desks and towards to back to the Autopsy Suites and lab, where he knew that Commander Teresa Coulter would be found. He was not disappointed when he saw the blond head staring down into a microscope in the far corner of the room. He walked over towards her as she looked up to see him.
“Harm, I’m so sorry.” She said as she pulled him into a brief hug. “Is there anything that I can do?”
“Only by helping me find out if that really is Sarah.” Harm said plainly.
“What do you mean? Do you have reason to doubt it?” Coulter asked.
“Not
in so many ways, except…have you ever just known that someone was ok? I have
this connection with Mac. She used that same connection to find me in the middle
of a freezing
Teresa Coulter smiled sadly at her friend. “Harm, I have never known you not to follow your instincts. If there is any chance that she is not the person in that room, you would have as good a chance, if not better, of finding out. The SAR crew identified her by her uniform and her dog tags, her head and face are severely damaged, and dental identification is essentially out. Did she have any marks or scars that you know of?”
“She told me once that she had a tattoo, but would not tell me of what or where.” Harm answered.
Coulter’s face turned pale.
“What is it, Commander?” Harm asked, concerned at the change in expression.
“This body has no distinguishable marks, except for a small tattoo on her ankle. A butterfly.”
Harm leaned against the wall. He was sure that he would have known if her tattoo was on her ankle, but for the life of him, he could not pull up a mental picture of both of her ankles to be sure.
“I don’t know.” He stated. “I was under the impression that it was somewhere on her torso, just from joking conversations that we had as to its location. But I can neither confirm nor deny that. Is there anything else that we can do?”
Coulter answered, “We can compare DNA. Can you get me a tissue sample? Maybe her toothbrush or some hair from her hairbrush? I can do a DNA analysis. I will attempt to get her medical records couriered over ASAP. ”
“I’ll be back. I’ll go get the samples now. Oh, did the base send any of her belongings here?” He asked as he prepared to leave.
“No,” Coulter answered. “I called and they were unable to locate anything from her stay at the BOQ. The SAR reported her bag, but her wallet was unaccounted for. Harm, don’t you think that you may be reading something into this?”
Ignoring her, Harm said, “Something is just not right about this. I am going to try and reach Clayton Webb and see if he can help by looking into this as well.”
Coulter gave him a funny look. “Webb? As in ‘CIA Webb’? I didn’t know you two were friends.”
“Long story. I’ll tell you some time. I’ll be back. And Teresa, thanks for everything.”
“Don’t mention it.”
******************
2030 Zulu
Clayton Webb’s Home
“Webb, we are getting nowhere fast, what is taking so long?” Mac asked, growing more and more perturbed.
“Since the crash, things have quieted down somewhat. I have been trying to get in touch with some of my contacts. I just received some word. You need to have a seat, you may even want to fasten a seatbelt, because this is gonna get rough.” Clay began.
Sarah look confused. “What do you mean, Webb? Spit it out.”
“Mac, it seems that your enemy or enemies have been busy. First, I have some interesting news about the Marine killed during that exercise.” Clayton began.
“Corporal Mark Kendall?” Mac supplied.
“Yes.
It seems that
“Seems like he found out that something big was going on.” Mac added.
Webb
agreed. “My thoughts exactly. Well, the transfer was made to one Colonel Frank
McKinnon;
“What?” Mac was shocked. “What happened? I’ve got to call Harm.”
“Mac,” He reasoned. “Wait a minute. Think about this. First, Turner is the lead investigator on this and he has come up with some potential evidence that the helo was tampered with. They are awaiting the results. Secondly, you cannot call Harm just yet.”
Mac gave him a puzzled look. Why isn’t Harm on the case? “Why can’t I call Harm? Has something happened to him? Is that why he is not investigating this case?”
“Mac, do you remember the Lt. that accompanied you on the helicopter?” Webb queried.
“Yes, she was sweet, but a real klutz. She spilled ink on her…”Mac began to realize. “Oh no, Webb. Tell me she is OK. Please, what happened to her?”
“Remember that she was wearing your field jacket and she was going to fix your dog tags?” He asked.
“Yes” Mac asked, suspiciously. She at first wondered how he could know that, but then remembered who she was talking to. He probably knew everything.
“Well, she was on that Huey when it took off. It crashed, Mac. She’s dead. I’m sorry.” Webb paused as Mac took it all in. “But it seems that she was badly injured and was unable to be visually identified. She was wearing your jacket, had your dog tags on her and looked remarkably like you. Similar build, same coloring.”
Mac made the connection. “OH MY GOD! THEY ALL THINK I AM DEAD, DON’T THEY?” She yelled out in outrage.
Webb could see the anger starting to rise on her face and attempted to calm her as much as possible. “Now Mac, it is for the best. Apparently McKinnon thinks you have something on them and will not stop until you are dead. We just have to keep him thinking that he was successful until we can get the goods on him with something you can use to prosecute him. The people at JAG could be in danger if they knew and so could you! I hate to spring it on you like this, but one of my contacts is missing too. I spoke with him last night. He said that he had some information for us but wanted to meet and would call this morning to set it up. He never did, so I called him. A woman answered and said that he was AWOL.”
The thought of endangering any of her friends or Harm calmed her immediately. Her cool Marine façade kicked in and she looked him straight in the eye. “What do I need to do?”
Webb breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing he needed was a violent Marine named Sarah Mackenzie on his hands.
Webb began, “Well the first thing that we need to do is to do some old fashioned surveillance on the good Colonel. Then we nail him to the wall.”
******************
Harriet Simms was devastated. She sat at her kitchen table, staring off into space, her thoughts filled with the loss of one of her dearest friends. She could not quite wrap her mind full around it just yet, and the truth be told, did not want to. This year had been so hard, so full of ups and downs; Harm nearly dying, Bud losing his leg and fighting for his life, finding out just weeks ago that she was pregnant again, and now back down with this crushing news. She had lost her husband temporarily, and now her friend and the Godmother to her son in one fell blow. Her thoughts ran over the events. This was so unfair. She was too young, too beautiful to die. Mac should be here now, helping me plan what color to paint the nursery, planning a baby shower in the near future, being here with Harm. Her thoughts then caught up with her and she thought how selfish that must sound. Harm must be devastated. I know Bud is. He came home and went straight to the den. He hasn’t made a sound in over an hour. God, she was like a sister to him, to us all. We have to pull together for Harm. He is going to need us over the next few days and beyond more than even he will probably admit.
Bud came out of the den shortly thereafter, making his way slowly over to the table to sit across from his wife.
“Harriet, I have been thinking. Since the Colonel has no available family, I think that we should set up her memorial service.” Bud stated plainly.
Harriet looked up and smiled at her husband, her heart filled with the conflicting pride in her husband and sorrow for her friend. “I think that is a wonderful idea, Bud. It will let us do one more thing for her. To let her know how much we all care.”
Bud continued on, “I spoke with the Admiral. He agrees that we should have the memorial on Saturday. We can use the chapel on base and I thought that we could take some of our home videos of our parties and some of the pictures we have and make a memorial piece for her.”
Harriet agreed. “I think it would be very fitting, honey. We can start to work on it. I will get Jen to help me with the arrangements as well, and Tiner is pretty good with technical things, he can help you with the memorial piece.”
The two sat there for a while longer, planning the saddest day either one of them had had since that cold November day in 2000, when they lost their other Sarah.
******************
2200 Zulu
Sarah Mackenzie’s Apartment
Harm opened the door quietly to Mac’s apartment. Best Friend status earned him a key to her place. He seldom used it, and felt odd about doing so now. He half expected her to come in, find him snooping around, and be pissed off about the whole thing. His heart hurt every time he thought about something along those lines, which was often. He missed his friend, not to mention the woman he loved. Making his way to her bathroom, he pulled out a couple of evidence bags that he brought with him. Dropping the toothbrush in one, he sealed it and began opening her bathroom drawers, looking for her hairbrush. Eventually, he found the brush and instead of pulling out a single strand, he took the entire brush. Holding it in his hand, he thought back to the times when he ran his hands through Mac’s hair, the softness of it, shining in the moonlight on the Admiral’s porch at her engagement party, the way it felt on that port so long ago as she was dressed like Diane. God, it was too much! He had to prove that this body didn’t belong to Mac. He had taken her for granted for far too long, as it was pointed out to him by the simple fact that he could not answer Teresa Coulter’s questions about the tattoo on her leg. Did she or didn’t she? He just wasn’t sure.
Harm
took a second just to look around. He had been to Mac’s place dozens, even
hundreds of times it seemed, but he had never really paid attention to the
place. The warm colors, the smell that was so uniquely Sarah Mackenzie was here.
It all still seemed like some kind of a bad dream. He slowly turned and went
down the short hallway and entered her bedroom. It was just what he would
imagine her room to be. The colors, the bed, all seemed to be her signature.
Walking over to the bed, he looked down and noticed the 2 pictures by the
bedside. The first was Harm and Mac holding baby AJ at his Christening. God,
that picture brought back good times. Harm let out a small smile, remembering
pleasant memories. He then turned his attention to the second picture. This was
the picture that he had given her this past Christmas. Taken in their field
uniforms, in
Harm rushed the man, knocking him over the coffee table. Taking advantage of having him on the ground, he punched the intruder solidly on the jaw, knocking him out. Harm stood up and went to the storage closet, and looking for something to tie him up with, finding some utility ties. He rolled the man over and secured his hands behind his back with the ties, and rolled him back over onto his hands. He called the police department and then the Admiral and waited for backup to arrive.
A
short time later, the police and the Admiral had arrived and the man was
formally arrested after being cleared medically. Rabb told the Admiral of his
doubts of the body actually being Mac, and the purpose of his visit to her
apartment. Admiral Chegwidden managed to persuade the DC police to allow Rabb
and himself to be in on the interrogation. Harm had the toothbrush and the
hairbrush secured and verified by both the MP’s and the Admiral. He then had the
MP’s courier the items to Commander Coulter at
The interrogation proceeded uneventfully, with the man reserving his right to remain silent. Harm and AJ observed through the 2-way mirror, their frustration mounting each minute that he remained silent.
Harm pulled out his cell phone and dialed Clayton Webb. He owed the agent so many favors that he would still be indebted to him into the great beyond, so he figured that one more wouldn’t hurt. The call was picked up after the first ring.
“Webb.” The agent answered crisply.
“Clay, its Harm.” Harm said just as crisply.
There was a pregnant pause before Webb answered. “I can’t help you, Harm.”
“Dammit, you don’t even know what it is about! It’s Mac.” Harm pleaded.
“I know about Mac. I have been given a direct order not to help you on your investigation, or as the director called it, your ‘personal mission to find your girlfriend’.” Webb said, feeling the sting that his blunt comment had delivered.
“Webb, Mac is your friend too. She has helped get you out of a couple of tight spots too. Doesn’t that count for anything?” Harm reasoned.
“Rabb, that’s the only reason that I have not already hung up on you. I like Mac too. But she is dead, and there is nothing you can do to bring her back. Why can’t you…”
Webb’s comment was cut off by Harm. “I don’t believe it, that’s why. Her wallet mysteriously vanishes and no one can locate it. I think that someone tampered with that helicopter. I am waiting for the proof to come back, but it was evident that the Huey was tampered with. If Mac was on that helo, I want to know why she was killed. If she wasn’t, I think that she was supposed to be eliminated. Come on, Webb! Help me, dammit!”
Webb took a deep breath, blowing it our over the phone receiver. Knowing that every cell in his being was telling him not to help Harm, that it was not the right thing to do, he knew that if he did not focus this man’s energies in the right direction, he may end up getting killed in the process.
The pause continued to grow, so much that Harm wondered if Webb was even on the line still. Webb said, “I have a name. That is all I can do for you. I cannot do anything more, so do not try to push me.”
Harm breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “What is the name, Clay?”
Webb spoke simply, “Colonel Frank McKinnon.” He hung up without any further discussion.
Ending the phone call, Harm dialed Lt. Commander Manetti.
“Commander Manetti.” The slightly southern accent filled the phone.
“Hi it is Commander Rabb. I need more of your expert skills. I have a name, Col Frank McKinnon. I need to know everything about him and how he may have played a part in Mac’s investigation and the accident.” Harm laid out his instructions carefully. “Leave no stone unturned. I even want to know the color of his favorite socks.”
Manetti wrote the name down before replying. “Yes sir. Sir?”
“Yes?” He answered, knowing already what the question would be.
“Are you alright?” She asked, concern filling her voice.
“No, Commander. I am not. How can I be alright when my best friend is gone needlessly? I don’t’ think that I will ever be alright.” He replied, feeling a tightness come around his throat as he spoke.
Manetti sensed his discomfort and simply replied, “I am on it sir. I will get back with you as soon as I hear anything. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call, Commander.”
Harm
got in his rented car and headed back to
2250 Zulu
Outside
Marine Base
Webb and Mac waited for Col McKinnon to leave the base. It was nearly 1800 and he should be heading to his off-base home any time now. The pair had followed him the entire day as he came and returned, so far, nothing had come about from that end. However, they had seemed to hit pay dirt when Mike Jenkins, the operative working with Webb called to report that the had managed to get a judge to grant permission for wire tapping on McKinnon’s phones, for his home, his cell and his work. He was also awaiting copies of his phone records for the past six months as well. This was a definite step in the right direction!
They switched off with Jenkins, and went to get a couple of rooms at a nearby Hotel. Webb left word that if anything were to occur, or if any other important information were to come in, to call him ASAP.
Mac lay down across the bed in her hotel room. This was the first time she was alone since this had all started. She had not had time to process the events that had led her to staying in this hotel room. Someone wanted her dead; they thought that they had killed her; someone had died in her place, a dear, innocent young woman, and most painful of all, all her friends and Uncle believed her to actually be dead. Oh God Harm thinks I am dead, too. He must be hurting; I know I would be if it were reversed. She knew that it was for the best for now, despite the pain. This was the first time in a good while that she allowed herself to think about Harm. Since her engagement was cancelled, they seemed to have had a rocky start at rebuilding the solid friendship they had once possessed, and recently they seemed to be honestly comfortable around each other. I remember one night nearly a month ago, when I told him that I felt safe when I was around him. I couldn’t believe that those words had come out of my mouth, and I was surprised to see the look of happiness that those words brought to his face. I can’t even remember the last time that I felt comfortable around a man to tell him that, or if I ever have truly felt that way before.
Mac turned over on the bed and thought about her best friend. He was a constant in her life, a point that she seemed to naturally gravitate towards. Despite other influences, she always found her way back to him eventually, and vice versa. I think that our souls recognized each other before we ever met. It seems that way at least. She pulled a small photo out of her wallet and looked to the familiar face of Harmon Rabb. Running her fingers over his face, she said “Our names are written on each other’s souls”.