Disclaimer in
The phone rang. It wasn’t often that Sarah MacKenzie received phone calls at 0428, but she was awake. Actually, she had never gone to sleep. She had already showered, dressed, and was finishing her last minute packing.
“MacKenzie …” Mac didn’t know why she answered the phone formally, because she was expecting that only Harm would call her at this time today. She only hoped it wasn’t to tell her that he would be late in picking her up.
[“Hello Colonel …”]
“General?” Mac responded in surprise.
[“Sorry to bother you so early, but I expect you are getting ready to head to the airport.”]
“Yes, sir. Is there a problem?”
[“No, not at all,” said General Cresswell. “I was actually thinking about your current changes, and it occurred to me that the San Diego JLS could probably afford to wait until next week to have its head officer show up and get the ball rolling. It is a new program after all, so the responsibilities haven’t really started yet.”]
“Are you sure, sir?”
[“Yes, Colonel, I think I can arrange for your new duties to be postponed until next Thursday. So if you would like to take a few days leave …”]
“… Yes, sir.”
[“Unfortunately, I can’t afford to give Commander Rabb the same luxury, because I do need him at headquarters.”]
“Understood, sir.”
[“However, I may be able to … Well, I need to speak to the Commander …”]
There was a pause until Mac realized that the General expected Harm to be with her, but was trying to avoid asking the awkward question.
“Sir, if you need to speak to the Commander soon, you can try him at his apartment or his cell phone. He should be awake, because he was to pick me up and take me to the airport.”
[“… Of course. Thank you, Colonel.”]
After discussing a few of the logistics of the delay in her transfer, Mac finished the conversation. “Thank you, General. I appreciate this, sir. … And please give my best to your wife.”
--------
As the General hung up, he chuckled.
“What, dear?” his wife asked.
“The Colonel sends her best wishes to you.”
“That’s nice of her.”
“I think she realized that you had something to do with convincing me to postpone the commencement of her new billet.”
“You didn’t need convincing. You just needed to have pointed out that it would be nice for the Colonel to be able to spend a few days with her fiancé before heading off across the country.”
The General groaned a response and nodded his head. “I need to call the Commander now.”
“He wasn’t with the Colonel?”
“Apparently not. … Or at least they are giving me the appearance that he did not spend the night. Let’s see if the Commander is actually at his apartment.”
Dora Cresswell snuggled up against her husband in bed, as he sat up making the phone call.
[“Good morning,” Harm said cheerfully, expecting his fiancée on the other end of the line.]
“Good morning, Commander.”
[“General! … I wasn’t expecting you. Is everything okay, sir?”]
“Yes, Commander. I just spoke with Colonel Mackenzie and
informed her that I am arranging for her not to be due at the
[Harm smiled. “That’s excellent, sir. Thank you.”]
---------
Mac couldn’t remember the last time she felt so excited about a knock at her door. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the familiar voice, “It’s me, Mac.” She took a moment to calm herself before turning the knob.
“Hey,” she said, as she looked at his grinning face.
He quickly darted in for a kiss that was definitely longer than a good morning peck.
“Hey yourself,” he replied when he stood back up. After a moment of appreciating the way she stared back at him with that new look of happiness, he noted, “You’re in your pajamas.”
“Yeah, didn’t the General get a hold of you?”
“He did. I’m very glad he arranged for you to stay around for a while.”
“So why didn’t you just call me? You didn’t have to come over here this early,” she said with concern and sympathy.
“No, but then what would I have done with these?” Harm brought around a bag with assorted baked breakfast treats from where he had been hiding it behind his back. “I had a feeling you might be hungry.”
“You felt right.” She grabbed the bag, took it to the table, and began to open it. “Mmm, … smells good.”
He edged over to stand behind her and put his arms around her middle. “You know what else smells good?”
Mac put the bag down and leaned her head back against him. “You smell pretty good,” she observed. She had already noticed his freshly showered scent, mixed with a hint of cologne.
“And you smell very appealing yourself,” he replied in her ear, “but I was referring to this.” He removed one arm from around her waist, reached around to his back pocket, carefully fingered the stem, and brought his hand back around to present her with a single dark red rose.
“Oh, Harm.” She took it and automatically brought it to her nose. “It does smell very good. And it’s beautiful!” She turned around to face him.
“You’re beautiful,” he quickly countered, before bending over to give her a quick kiss.
“Thank you.” She stood on her tiptoes and returned another swift kiss to him. “For everything.”
----------
Finishing breakfast, Mac asked, “So what did the General want to talk to you about?” Then she stifled a yawn.
“He let me take today off.”
“Really? I thought he couldn’t afford -”
Harm interrupted, “He figured: it is Friday and my mind would probably be elsewhere today anyhow. But I do need to be back to work on Monday.”
“So we get to spend--the--day together?” she smiled, but cursed herself inwardly for yawning mid-question.
“Yes. But first, you need some sleep.”
Mac nodded her head. “It’s a good thing I didn’t have to fly out today. A night of no sleep, lots of tears, and intense emotions makes a very tired marine.” She gave in to a full-fledged yawn.
“I’m not sure other Corps members would appreciate you admitting that marines ever cry - or have emotions,” Harm joked. Mac didn’t even come back with a response beyond a small groan. Harm could see that she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
“Well, come on then,” he said. “Let’s get my marine to bed.” He lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom, letting her stand against him as he pulled the bedcovers back for her. “In you go.” Once she was lying down, he pulled the covers over her and leaned over to kiss her forehead.
She grabbed his arm just before he walked away. “Stay.”
“I am. I’ll be on the couch.”
“No, stay here. Hold me?”
He paused for a moment. “Okay.”
She smiled and let go of him. He walked around to the other side of the bed, removed his shoes, and laid himself down on top of the covers next to her. He put his arm around her, and they each snuggled comfortably in the pillows.
“Mac?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“… mmm, love you …too.” Her reply was slightly slurred as sleep was taking her, but Harm heard it perfectly clear.
Minutes later they were both sound asleep.
--------
Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic came in
early on Friday morning hoping to talk to Lt. Colonel MacKenzie again about taking him to
“Will Colonel MacKenzie be in later today?” he asked.
“Doubtful, sir.”
“She hasn’t left for
“She had been scheduled for a flight out this morning, but the General just informed me that I need to reschedule that flight for next week.”
“Great. So when will she be back in?”
“I don’t know that she will be,” Jen informed him. “I believe she’s on leave until she moves next week.”
“Oh …” He was clearly disappointed. After a moment he asked, “Will Commander Turner be in? I want to ask him about the Gordon case.”
“He’s on his way to
That surprised the Lieutenant. “He went with Captain Rabb?”
“Not exactly. … A lot has changed since you’ve been away, sir.”
“So it would seem. Care to fill me in?” ‘Vic’ gave her a charming smile.
“Respectfully, I don’t feel it’s my place, sir.”
He pursed his lips for a moment. “… Could I speak to the General?”
“I’ll let him know you’re here.” Pushing the intercom, Jen announced, “… General, Lieutenant Vukovic would like to see you, sir.”
“Send him in,” came the reply.
Vukovic entered the JAG’s office and came to attention. “Sir.”
“At ease. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m interested in transferring to
The General flipped through some papers on his desk, making Vukovic wait half a minute, before he finally looked poignantly at the young man. “The Colonel denied your request, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, sir. But I believe I can convince her that I would be an asset. If I hadn’t had to leave for this last assignment, I’m sure I would have been able to get the Colonel to alter her opinion.”
The General looked at the lieutenant skeptically. “Why do you believe that? I don’t think the Colonel is one to second-guess her instincts on personnel issues.”
Vukovic smiled slightly. “My experience is that a woman’s initial instincts may be modified … given proper persuasion to change her mind.”
General Cresswell gave the lieutenant a harsh stare. “I was referring to her instincts as a marine officer and as experienced Chief of Staff here at JAG, not based on her being a woman,” the General said sternly.
“Of course, sir.”
Cresswell leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Lieutenant, do you always have such confidence that you have the power to change a woman’s mind?”
“Yes, sir.” At first Vic had no problem admitting this, because he viewed such confidence as a positive quality. However, a split second later, as he processed the tone the General had used and the implications, given that the question had been limited to women, he reconsidered. “… No, sir. But I can be very persuasive.”
“I see.” General Cresswell slowly nodded once in understanding. “The Colonel is not easily persuaded. She has made very clear to me that she is not interested in having you serve under her command.”
Concerned, the naval officer asked, “Did she … tell you why, sir?”
“No. Would you like to enlighten me, Lieutenant?”
“No, sir,” he responded quickly. “That is, … I don’t know why, sir.”
“Hmm.” The General sat up and picked up one of the papers on his desk, indicating that he was about to return to his work. “Well, I consider Colonel MacKenzie’s decision final regarding her staffing. You are not to bother her about reconsidering, Lieutenant.”
“Is that an order, sir?”
“Do I need to make it one?”
“… No, sir.”
“Is there anything else?”
Vukovic paused for a moment. “I was just wondering about the changes that have occurred since my absence.”
The General paused for a moment. “The only change you need to concern yourself about is that any cases you have with Commander Turner will be covered over the short-term by Rabb once he returns on Monday. Dismissed.”
“I thought Captain Rabb would be in
The General was getting the feeling that he should not be as indulgent with the young officer as he had previously been inclined. “Change in plans that do not concern you, Lieutenant.”
“Aye, sir.”
“Dismissed.”
As he closed the General’s door behind him, Vukovic addressed Coates, “Jennifer?”
“Sir?”
“Do you have any lunch plans for today?” He smiled at her.
Jen was nothing, if not perceptive. “You wouldn’t be trying to get information out of me, would you, sir?”
He didn’t let her observation bother him. “… I just thought it would be nice for the two of us to get a bite to eat.”
She shyly smiled back. “I have a lot of work to do today. Maybe some other time, sir.”
-------
As Harm awoke, a smile spread across his face. He enjoyed the feel of the woman he loved sleeping against him, his arm still around her. He didn’t want to ever let her go. And she was so beautiful.
He was tempted to gently brush a lock of hair away from her face, but he didn’t want to wake her. So he stayed still. But despite his desire to let her sleep, she began to stir, seeming to sense his consciousness.
Mac immediately met his eyes when she opened hers. “… How long have you been awake?” she asked.
“I just woke up a minute ago. You can go back to sleep,” he tried to coax her.
“No, I’m awake,” she assured him, as she stretched a bit. “… I actually feel very rested.” She looked him in the eyes. “That was probably one of the best sleeps I’ve ever had.”
“Mine too,” he replied. “What time is it anyway?”
“1036.” It appeared her internal clock was working again.
“Well, if you’re sure you’re done sleeping, then we should get a move on,” Harm stated.
“Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?”
“We’ve got a lot of things to do today, … things I have wanted to do for a very, very long time.”
“Oh yeah?” Mac inquired.
“Mmm-hmm.”
Mac thought for a moment. “I’ve already done one thing today that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time,” she mused.
“What’s that?”
“Woke up in your arms.” Mac had a sparkle in her eyes as she said it.
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Harm asked, as if he hadn’t already been thinking it.
“Yes, it is.”
“Guess we’ll have to make this happen more often.”
“I insist that it does.”
“Insist? A little demanding, aren’t we?” he teased.
“I have a right to be, don’t I? Since it makes me feel loved by you.”
Harm realized the magnitude of what Mac just said. It was her acknowledgement of the vow he had made to her about making her feel loved and cherished. Or maybe she was just testing that he meant it. Either way, she had just told him one thing he could do to help make her feel unconditionally loved.
“Absolutely,” he said. “You have a right to be held by me any time you ask.”
Mac smiled. “Likewise. Except, of course, when we’re publicly in uniform.”
“Of course.” A moment later he asked for confirmation, “Does my holding you make you feel loved?”
“I just said it did.”
“Good.” He propped himself up and leaned over her. “Because I have so much I want to convey to you by holding and touching you.” He had slowly begun to descend toward Mac’s lips as he spoke.
Mac was grateful for his slow approach, because it gave her the opportunity to stop him while she still had control. The look in his eyes and their already close, prone position made her feel this advance would not have ended with a simple kiss.
“Red light, Commander.” She fingered him in the chest to prevent him from coming closer.
This surprised Harm, and annoyed him for a second. But then he realized that he would have taken things too far, and he was ultimately glad that Mac had the foresight to stop him early. He flopped back down on his side of the bed.
“All these years, and I’m still getting a red light from you!” he exclaimed in what was mostly mock frustration.
“You’re the one who convinced me we should wait.” She rolled on her side to face him, propping her head with her elbow, and smiled.
“Sometimes I hate myself.” He lifted up one eyebrow, but smiled back.
“So what things do you want to do today, Flyboy?”
He sighed, before focusing on the matters of the day. “The first thing we have to do is go talk to Mattie.”
“Okay, I’ll go get dressed.” Mac jumped out of bed. “You should call her.”
“But I want to tell her about us in person,” he protested.
“Yes, but you don’t want to scare her by just showing up when she’s expecting you to be halfway across the world. Give her heads up that you’re still in town and that you are coming to see her.” Mac was gathering clothes to wear out of the bag that she had packed.
“How do I explain that without telling her more?” he asked.
“Just tell her the plans have been modified and you’ll explain when you see her. I don’t think she’ll really suspect much. You’re military, Harm. Things change quickly.”
“You’re right.”
“I know.” And with that, Mac shut the bathroom door.
---------
Mac came out, dressed, to find Harm still lying on the bed. “I’m ready when you are,” she said.
“Okay.” He let go of the pillow she had slept on, which he had been hugging close in her absence, and rolled over on his back.
“So what else are you planning for today?” she asked, standing over the bed.
“We need to do some shopping.”
She crossed her arms thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess neither of us have too much food around since we were both planning on moving out today,” she agreed.
“Do you always think about food first?” he asked with a smile.
Mac looked at him quizzically.
“I wasn’t referring to grocery shopping,” he explained as he got up. “If you recall, I’d like to do some things today that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”
“You’ve been wanting to shop with me for a long time?”
“To shop for you really. I could go myself, but I thought you might like to have some input on the kind of engagement ring you get.”
Mac smiled, raised her eyebrows, and mouthed ‘ah’ as Harm walked to her. They put their arms around each other.
“So, do you want to come to the jewelry store with me?” he asked.
Mac nodded her head slightly as she slid her arms up around his neck. “I want.” And she pulled his head down to kiss him deeply. When their lips finally broke apart, she added, “I’ll need to be there, so I can negotiate,” referring to the comments they had made to the bartender the night before.
“I think you’re doing pretty well negotiating for yourself right now.” He leaned down and they slowly kissed again. This time, when they finished, Harm joked, “No red light this time, Colonel?”
She paused for a moment, and then replied, “Decidedly yellow.”
He lowered his eyebrows at that.
“Proceed with caution,” she explained.
His lips curved up. “I’ll take it.” And he kissed her again.
----------
Vukovic found the only other office off of the bullpen with a light on and knocked at the door.
“Enter,” called Bud.
“Commander, I was wondering if you had a minute.”
Bud was studying his computer screen intently. “Actually Lieutenant, if it can wait, I’d appreciate it.”
The seated attorney appeared to be slightly flustered at what he was working on. “I’m in the middle of researching something important that I need by this afternoon. I had a hard time focusing on it when I came in, but I really need to get this done now.”
“Something distracting you earlier?” Vic fished.
“I guess it was just all the excitement leftover from last night,” Bud said without paying much attention.
This definitely interested the Lieutenant. “What excitement, sir?”
“Oh … uh, with Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb.” The phone rang, and Bud picked it up. “… Lieutenant Commander Roberts … Sure, just a moment.”
Bud looked up at the Lieutenant for only a moment. “I need to take this. Can you show yourself out?”
Vukovic frowned as he walked out the door.
---------
Harm glanced over at Mac in the passenger seat. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“How lucky I am. How stupid we’ve been. How Mattie is going to react about us … about me.”
“Okay. I think, you are lucky, Mac, but you deserve it. We have been stupid, but that’s hopefully in the past. And Mattie is going to be thrilled about us. I told you she already figured out that I love you. And she likes you a lot.”
“Enough to want me as part of your family?”
“I think so.”
“I’m not so sure, Harm. She might feel like I’m intruding on your relationship with her. Or taking up your time. You know, - time that she wants from you. … Or that I’m overstepping and trying to act like an extra guardian that she doesn’t want.”
“Would you want to be her co-guardian?”
“It’s not my place, Harm. You have a relationship built with her. I want to help, – to support her and take care of her as much as she’ll let me, but it’s you who she already loves, trusts, and respects. If I tried to impose myself on her as any parent-type of figure, she’d resent me.”
“I don’t think so, Mac,” he said in a drawn out, skeptical fashion.
“Harm, don’t. I’ll just be happy if she accepts me in your lives and our new arrangement.”
“I’m sure she will.”
--------
Vukovic finally tracked down Lieutenant Mayfield, in another effort to find out what he had missed while he was gone. “Do you know what’s going on around here? I can’t get information out of anyone.”
“I think most people call it trying to get some work done,” she replied.
“I mean with Rabb and MacKenzie.
Something changed while I was away.
Commander Turner is in
“Well, it sounds like you know a lot for someone who can’t get any information.” She walked past him.
He moved to keep up with her. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“I don’t really know anything. Scuttlebutt says Rabb turned down the
“Why would he do that?”
She stopped. “Scuttlebutt?”
“Yes,” he answered, eagerly awaiting the gossip.
She looked him in the eye. “He chose the Colonel instead.”
Vic’s eyebrows creased. “I don’t understand,” he said, searching out what she meant by that.
“You wouldn’t.” And with that, Lieutenant Tali Mayfield walked away.
---------
Harm walked into Mattie’s hospital room alone. “Hey, … how’s the cutest patient in here doing today?”
“Harm! … I’ve been better, but I guess I’m okay, considering,” Mattie answered.
“You’re looking pretty good.”
“Well, I’m happy that you’re here. So they postponed your move to
“No, … not exactly …” he answered.
“Harm you didn’t give it up, did you? I told you to take the job. I don’t mind moving. Right now, I’d love to move anywhere as long as it’s out of this stupid hospital.”
“You need to be in this hospital right now. I know it’s hard, but be patient and …”
“You’re changing the subject,” she interrupted.
“Right. … I am still planning to move, just not
to
“Where then?”
“
“Isn’t that where you said they were sending Mac?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re going to be working with Mac in
“Uh, no. … Do you mind if I pull up a chair?” He gestured toward a seat over by the wall.
“Harm, there’s already a chair over here.” She looked at the seat beside her bed.
“I know, but I brought another visitor for you, and I don’t want to keep her waiting anymore.” He brought the second chair over next to the other. “I’ll be right back.”
A few moments later he returned, guiding Mac into the room with his hand on the small of her back.
“Mac!” Mattie’s eyes lit up with surprise.
“Hi Mattie. How are you?” Mac went over and gave Mattie a light hug.
“Fine. What are you doing here?”
Mac took a deep breath. “As it turns out I had some free time today, and Harm invited me to come along to see you.”
“I thought you were leaving for
“Mac was,” Harm answered, “but her plans were changed as well.”
Mac poured some water in a cup, put in a straw, and held it out for Mattie. “You look thirsty.”
“Thanks.” Mattie drank while Mac and Harm sat down. Then Mattie continued, asking, “So what’s going on? Did they swap your assignments or something?”
“No,” Harm answered.
“So Mac’s staying here?” Mattie asked.
“No, she’s still going to
“You’re both going to be stationed in
Harm started, “Possibly, but …”
“What is this, twenty questions?” Mac asked, amused. “Harm, stop torturing her, and tell her already.”
“If she gives me a chance …” Harm began, almost whining.
“Okay Harm, just tell me.” Mattie was thankful that at least Mac seemed as impatient as she was for Harm to spit out what was going on.
Harm smiled and breathed in deeply. “Well, Mac and I were talking last night. And we realized that …”
Mattie’s eyes widened, “You two finally got together!!” she interrupted, when she saw Harm take Mac’s hand.
Harm gave up on his planned speech. “… Yeah. Mac and I finally admitted that we want to be together.”
“That’s great! So … what does this mean?” She looked back and forth between them.
“It means,” said Mac, meeting the eyes of the man next to her, “that Harm and I are getting married.”
Mattie’s mouth just hung open for a few seconds. “Wow! When the two of you do finally decide something, there’s no in between, is there?”
“No,” they both answered together and laughed.
After a moment, Mattie’s smile dimmed. “So Harm, you’re giving up
He answered, “Well, we didn’t want to be on different continents, and since neither of us wanted to give up our new billets, we let fate decide for us which place we would go.”
“Fate?” Mattie asked.
“Yes,” said Mac. With a hint of sarcasm, she explained, “We did the mature thing and tossed a coin for it.”
“So Mac, … you won the coin toss?”
“Yes,” confirmed Mac hesitantly.
“But,” stressed Harm, “then we talked about
it and decided that it really is the best option for all of us to be in
“Do you get to work as a captain in
“Probably not. I may have to find a new job when I get
there. Mac and I won’t be able to
be in the same chain of command, but I might still be able to find a naval
position in
“Oh.” Mattie looked disappointed.
Mac sensed what Mattie was feeling. “Mattie, I wouldn’t let him do this if it isn’t what he wanted.”
Harm immediately spoke up. “Mac offered to go to
Mattie grinned at that. “You’ll never find a boss as nice as the one you had the last time you crop dusted.”
“That’s for sure.” Harm gave her one of his best smiles.
She returned the sentiment, albeit with a much weaker grin, but then became very serious. “So, Harm, … what happens now? … About me?”
“I’m still petitioning the courts for guardianship. Nothing’s changed, except that you’ll
join us in
Mattie nodded her head slightly.
Mac wanted to say something, without being too direct, to let Mattie know that Mac welcomed having her with them. “I’m looking forward to start house shopping with Harm, so if you have any requests about the kind of house, room, or location you’d like, let us know, okay?”
“Sure,” Mattie responded.
It was not the excited tone Mac was hoping for from Mattie. “Um … I think I’ll go to the cafeteria to get some coffee. Either of you want me to bring something back?” Mac asked.
“No, I’m fine.” Harm said. “But be warned that the coffee is questionable here.”
“I don’t know that I trust your judgment in coffee.” Mac smiled at Harm.
“Well, I know this stuff will definitely not be strong enough for you,” he replied, with a smirk.
“Guess I’ll find out. Mattie, anything?”
“I still don’t have much of an appetite,” Mattie answered.
“Something to drink then? Juice maybe?” Mac prodded.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Alright, I’ll be back in awhile.” Mac squeezed Harm’s shoulder lightly on her way out.
-------
“She just left so that we can talk alone, didn’t she?” Mattie asked when Mac had left.
“Yes.” Harm answered, impressed by this teen’s powers of observation.
Mattie didn’t say anything for a moment.
“So, are you okay with all of this?” Harm asked.
“I guess.”
Not the answer he’d been ideally hoping for. Guess he should break down the
issues. “How do you feel about
moving to
“It’s nice out there?”
“Well, the weather is a lot better than in
“Should be okay then. No matter where I am, I won’t really be out much for a while anyhow.”
“Nah, you’ll be up and around in no time,” he
encouraged. “They’ve got great
medical facilities out there. … Oh,
and I thought you might like to know that Jen has already requested to transfer
to
“Really?” Her eyes brightened a little.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “I’m not sure if I should be offended that she didn’t ask to work with me when she thought I’d be in London,” he added in a light tone, “… but I guess, given the choice, I’d rather work for Mac than myself too.” He grinned again. “Anyhow, there’ll be another friendly face out there.”
“Cool.”
“I’m hoping that staying in the country will also make it easier for you and your Dad to visit when the time comes.”
She looked down and fiddled with the bed sheet. “I’m not sure I’ll want to visit him.”
“Mattie, he does love you,” Harm insisted.
“I know. I love him too. I’m just not sure when I’ll be ready to spend time with him again.”
Harm decided not to push the issue at the moment. “Let’s not worry about that right now. Your Dad needs to get himself straightened out first.”
Moving on to the next issue, Harm said, “… Ah, I would, however, like to hear what you think about me and Mac though?”
Mattie smiled. “I’m really happy for you, Harm. You and Mac are good together. I had been waiting for the longest time to catch you kissing her.”
“Catch me? Mattie, I hadn’t been kissing Mac …”
“Exactly. You hadn’t, but you should have been,” she set him straight.
Harm shook his head with amusement. “Well, there have been a lot of other people who have probably been waiting a lot longer than you, kiddo.”
“I didn’t see Mac wearing an engagement ring, Harm. You are going to get her one, aren’t you?”
“Of course. As a matter of fact we’re going ring shopping right after we leave you, and …” Harm looked around to make sure Mac wasn’t back yet. “… I’m going to give her a proper proposal tonight. But that last part’s a surprise, so you have to keep my secret.”
“I can do that. So, how are you going to properly propose?”
“I’ve been working on a plan all day, but it’s still in
progress. We didn’t know that she’d
be able to postpone going to
“But what are you thinking about? I could help you plan,” Mattie suggested.
“Thanks for the offer, but … I’ve got to do this on my own.” He pointed a finger at her. “You just don’t say anything.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Harm.”
“Me too.” He sighed, before switching topics. “… So, I want to talk about you and Mac now.”
She shrugged her shoulders a little. “What’s to talk about?”
“First, are you okay with living with the both of us?”
“Guess I’ll have to be, since you’re marrying her, and I have nowhere else to be in my condition.” She sounded somewhat despondent, which concerned Harm.
“You don’t want to live with us?”
“I do, Harm. It’s just - I’m going to need a lot of attention while I’m getting better. I don’t want to be in the way of the two of you.”
Harm shook his head. “You know, that’s funny, because Mac is worried that she is going to be intruding on the two of us.” He motioned between Mattie and himself. “And she doesn’t want you to feel like she’s taking my attention away from you.”
“Why would she think that?”
“Because she has seen that you and I have already formed a family of sorts. I think she feels like the outsider. … And let me guess, - you see my marriage to Mac as the start of a new family, and you feel like you’ll be the outsider?”
“Yeah, sort of,” Mattie admitted.
“So what am I supposed to do with the two of you?” he asked in a half-teasing manner.
“I don’t know.”
He thought for a moment. “Let me ask you something. Forgetting about me and my relationships with anyone for a minute, how do you feel about Mac, … honestly?”
The response was quick. “I like her.”
Harm nodded his head. “She likes you too. She has already made abundantly clear to me that she wants to be there for you and give you everything she can. But she doesn’t want to push herself on you.”
“What do you mean?”
“She doesn’t feel it’s her place to impose herself as another … parental-type figure.”
“Oh.”
“Listen, Mattie. I want to ask you to consider something. And I just want you to think about it for now. Don’t answer today.” Harm looked around again before continuing quietly. “And don’t tell Mac, because she doesn’t know I’m asking you this yet.”
“Okay.”
“I want you to consider having Mac be a co-guardian for you with me.”
Mattie looked confused. “I thought you said she doesn’t want to be a parental type of figure for me?”
“No,” he corrected, “I said she doesn’t feel it’s her place to assume that role.”
“Then how do you know she’d even want to be my guardian?”
He smiled. “Believe me, I know that she would really like that. But she won’t do it unless she knows that it is what you want.”
“Would it help the court give you custody of me if she were my guardian too?”
“Honestly, yes. But I don’t foresee the court denying my petition as an individual guardian anyhow, since your Dad isn’t contesting it. And that’s not why I’m asking.”
“Why are you asking?”
“A lot of reasons. But first, let me tell you that it’s okay with me if you decide you only want me to be your guardian. I don’t want to push this on you, understand?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Well, first, I see this as a way to help both you and Mac feel less like you’re in the way or that either of you is an outsider. There’s no reason we can’t be a family together, and making it more official from the beginning will, I think, make it easier for both of you to appreciate that.” He made sure that thought sunk in with Mattie before he went on.
“Second,” he continued, “I think it would be good for you to have Mac take an active role in your life. Not that she wouldn’t anyhow, but like I said, she doesn’t want you to feel like she’s interfering. And I think it would benefit us all for you to have a female guardian as well as me.”
Quickly shifting to joking mode, he added, “I mean, if I have the only say in things, I may change my mind and keep boys away from you until you’re thirty.”
“Harm!” Mattie protested, with a look that said ‘you wouldn’t!’
Harm smiled. “Alright I won’t. But, Mac and I do make a good team, and I’d be consulting her anyway. … But ultimately, I think she’d make a great guardian.
“I’ve seen her with Chloe, a girl she took on as a ‘little sister,’ and I’ve always admired how good she has been with her. Chloe is actually about your age now. But Mac doesn’t see her much anymore since she helped Chloe find her family members, who take care of her now.”
“Kind of like you got me back with my Dad?”
“Yeah.”
“And if it weren’t for the accident you wouldn’t see me all that often anymore?”
“Yes, actually. … Except that Chloe is in
“Anyway, I just want you to think it over. Mac is … well, she has her flaws, just like I do, but she has a lot of strengths too. She’s very caring, smart, and responsible. She definitely has affection for young people. You in particular.” Harm smiled and playfully bopped Mattie’s nose with his finger.
“Regardless of her technical relationship to you, in whatever capacity I guarantee that Mac will always be there for you and do whatever she can in your best interest.”
“Harm, you sound like a lawyer.”
He laughed. “Occupational hazard I guess.”
“Let me guess, you’ve given a lot of thought to the type of woman you’d want to be the mother of your children, and Mac is that type of woman?” Mattie played on the words that Mac had spoken about Harm in court when he had originally petitioned for guardianship.
Mattie noticed Mac enter the doorway just as Harm answered, “No, Mac is not the type of woman I’d want to be the mother of my children.”
“What?!” asked Mattie in horror.
Mac froze and, in that split second, was filled with a horrible drowning panic.
Harm, oblivious to Mac’s appearance, continued, “Mac is the woman I want to be the mother of my children. I don’t just want her type, … I want Mac herself to help me raise a child, with everything she is, flaws and all.”
Mattie looked at him with wide eyes. “… Harm you have no idea how much trouble you almost just got yourself in.” Then she looked over at Mac. “… Or maybe did get yourself in,” she added as she took in Mac’s frozen form and thought about Harm’s comment about Mac’s flaws.
Harm stood up and, following Mattie’s gaze, turned to see Mac in the doorway.
“Mac!” He took a few steps back. “… How long have you been there?” It was his turn to panic.
Mac composed herself, and said as nonchalantly as possible, “Long enough to hear that I’m not the type of woman you want to mother your children.”
“But I meant -”
“Relax,” she cut him off, very professionally. “I heard what you said after that, too. Mattie, I hope fruit punch is okay. It was the best of what they had.” Mac placed the drink on the tray near Mattie.
“Sure, it’s good. Thanks.” Mattie answered as neutrally as she could, given the tension in the room.
After a moment, Mac, still facing Mattie, added, “And no, Mattie, Harm did not get himself in trouble. Not even with the remark about my flaws.” She glanced at Harm during the last part of her comment, before focusing back on Mattie.
“Oh,” was Mattie’s only response.
“’Cause I’ll let you in on a secret, Mattie. One I’m just learning.” Mac took a seat and leaned towards the teenager.
“When someone knows about all your flaws, and can acknowledge that you have them, but loves you for who you are anyhow, … that’s when you know that you are truly loved …” She switched her gaze to Harm, “… unconditionally.”
Mac looked back at Mattie. “I think that’s the kind of love you need to make a lasting relationship.”
“Wow, you’re really lucky Harm,” Mattie observed.
“You don’t need to tell me,” Harm admitted, trying to decide if Mac really was angry with him or not. Mac looked at Harm in a way that did not make her mood clear.
Finally, he cleared his throat and somewhat timidly spoke. “So I guess you didn’t hear the part when I said you were caring, responsible, and smart, did you?”
“No, just that I’m flawed,” Mac replied matter-of-factly.
“I’m flawed too,” he defended. “I said that just before, didn’t I?” He started to look to Mattie for support.
Mac interrupted, “Oh, I know you are.” She stood up and confidently continued, “And I know that one of your flaws is sticking your foot in your mouth when it comes to me. That is, … before you manage to explain yourself.” As she spoke, she took a few steps closer to Harm.
“When you let me,” Harm reflected.
She stopped about a foot away from him. “When I let you,” she echoed, acknowledging her fault in the past at running or pushing him away rather than listening to him explain. “I heard it this time,” she told him softly.
“I’m really glad you’re aware of that flaw of mine,” he said.
“I’ll bet you are,” Mac said gently, as she continued to edge toward him.
“But you love me anyway?” he asked hopefully.
She nodded. “I do.” Her answer signaled the beginning of a kiss between them, which lasted until they heard Mattie loudly clearing her throat.
“Third party in the room,” she reminded them. Mac turned her head towards Mattie, blushing slightly.
“You know,” said Mattie, “if I am going to live with you guys, you’re going to have to promise to keep this kind of thing in your room.” She half smiled as she said it.
“I thought you wanted to catch me kissing Mac?” Harm, who was still holding Mac in his arms, reminded the teen.
“I had wanted to see you kissing, but that was before the two of you were going to be … like my new parents. No kid wants to see her parents making out,” Mattie stated pointedly.
Mac was touched by Mattie’s referral to them as being like ‘parents,’ referencing both of them, and not just Harm. Harm appreciated that comment as well, but didn’t feel the issue was ripe for discussion just yet. Which was fine, since he wanted to follow up on Mattie’s request.
“Well, Mac and I don’t make promises that we can’t keep. And for my part, I know I won’t be able to limit all my displays of affection for Mac to our room.”
“Mac?” Mattie looked for support.
“… Sorry Mattie, but I think that this is something you’ll have to learn to live with to some extent.” Mac was looking intently at Harm when she finished saying this.
“By the way, Mac,” Harm said, “I do, too.”
“What?”
“Love you. I do. Unconditionally.”
“Why do I feel like I just witnessed your wedding vows?” Mattie asked rhetorically, interrupting what would have been another kiss.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made them in a hospital room,” Harm commented facetiously.
Knowing he was referring to his fake marriage to Catherine Gale, Mac pushed Harm lightly, causing him to let go of her.
He laughed, and then told Mattie, “I didn’t really get married. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you some other time.” He cleared his throat again. “… But, given that Mac and I can’t promise to keep off of each other entirely, are you still willing to live with us?”
“I guess,” Mattie pretended to be exasperated. “As long as I won’t ever have to see you actually having se…”
“Ah, that I promise,” Harm quickly cut her off. Mac was definitely blushing now, but she also bit her lip in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her amusement at how embarrassed Harm was.
Harm thought that was quite enough for the day. “Mattie, before you get either yourself or me in any real trouble, I think it’s time Mac and I left.”
“Okay. … Mac, do you mind if I have another minute with Harm before you go?”
“No, not at all. I’ll wait in the lobby.” Mac went over and gave Mattie a kiss on the head. “We’ll come back to see you tomorrow. I’ll bring you some things from a store so that maybe we can work on getting your appetite back.”
“Thanks Mac.” Mattie smiled.
-------
“So what’s up?” Harm asked Mattie after Mac left.
“I wanted to wish you luck for tonight.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t screw it up,” the teen warned.
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Mac deserves to be happy.”
“I know. You’ll think about what I asked you earlier?”
“Yes. But don’t think about me tonight, Harm. Just focus on Mac. You didn’t see her face when she overheard you. You may not be in trouble, but you scared her, and you have to make that up to her.”
“When did you get to be so smart about women? Never mind, don’t answer that. … Thank you for the advice. Be good for the nurses.”
--------
“Well, that wasn’t too bad.” Mac said in the car. “… It wasn’t, was it?” she second-guessed herself.
“No, why do you ask?” He spared a glance away from the road to look at her.
“I just didn’t know if Mattie was giving you a different impression when I wasn’t there.”
“Are you asking what she said to me?”
“No. That’s between the two of you,” Mac answered. “I’m sorry I overheard anything when I came back.”
“I’m only sorry that what you heard upset you, even for a moment.”
“It’s okay,” she assured him.
“No, it’s not. I may say stupid things, and I may not always express myself well, but you do know that I won’t lie to you Mac, right?”
“I know. … And you’ve been expressing yourself much better since yesterday.”
“I meant what I said about wanting you to raise a child with me …”
“Harm, I know.” Her tone and the look that overcame her face evidenced the slight downward change in her mood. “I’d really rather not talk about motherhood anymore today.”
“Sorry.”
“But,” Mac had a follow-up concern, “did you tell Mattie about my condition?”
“No.”
This relieved her. “Thank you.”
There was a moment of silence, while Harm thought about how he could cheer Mac up.
He finally said, “I don’t think I’m breaking any of Mattie’s confidences by telling you that she likes you a lot. Maybe more than she likes me, really.”
“She does not like me more,” Mac scolded him for saying such a thing.
“Oh? Then why was I the one who had to stay after to get the lecture?”
“Uh-oh. What for?”
“Well, without violating the unwritten teen-adult privilege, let’s just say I now have some extra pressure to treat you very, very well today.”
Mac looked puzzled for a second. “I have no idea why that would be, but I have a feeling I’m going to like having Mattie around.”
“I thought you might.” Harm smiled.
“So, does treating me well today involve feeding me lunch now?”
He laughed. “It does.”
--------
Vukovic was going to get the story once and for all. “Petty Officer Coates.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Commander Rabb isn’t going to
“I don’t believe so, sir.”
“Did something happen to him? Commander Roberts mentioned some excitement last night. Does the Colonel’s taking leave have something to do with Commander Rabb?”
“I believe her leave does have something to do with Captain Rabb, yes.”
“Captain? So he is getting the promotion?”
“That’s unclear at this time, sir.”
“Did he have an accident or something?”
“No, … I wouldn’t call it that.”
“Sick then?”
Jen thought for a moment. “In a way. He’s just finally given in to what he’s been feeling for the last nine years or so.”
“Feeling. Nine years,” he repeated. “… Chosen the Colonel,” he remembered
what Lt. Mayfield had said. He
slowly put the pieces together. “ …
He gave up
“I’m glad to see those investigative skills panning out, sir.” She smiled at him.
“He admitted he loves her?” he asked skeptically.
Jen gave up fighting to withhold information. “I would assume they both admitted they love each other since they agreed to get married.”
“Wow.”
“And both were willing to give up their respective positions to be together depending on fate’s decision.”
“Fate decided?”
“Yes. And that’s all you’re getting from me, sir.”
Vukovic shook his head. “Well, this changes things.”
---------
Harm and Mac had been looking over rings at the jewelry store for an hour already.
“I think I like this one, Harm.”
“You sure you don’t want a bigger diamond?” Harm asked.
“Yes, it’s not the size of the diamond I care about. It’s the character.”
“I wasn’t aware diamonds had personalities.”
Mac asked the jeweler, “Do you have a magnifying loupe or lens, so that I could have a closer look at this?”
“Of course, just a moment.” The jeweler left to retrieve one.
“I forgot, you are something of a diamond expert. … One more thing I have Webb to thank for.” Harm was dripping with sarcasm.
“Harm.” Mac’s tone told him not to go there.
“Sorry …” Harm looked down. He still harbored bad feelings toward
Webb for taking Mac undercover to
Mac knew that Webb was a very sore subject - for both of them.
“Harm,” she said gently this time. She put her finger under his chin and directed his head up toward her.
“I’m going to be married to you for real,” she said, hoping Harm would understand the contrast between her sham marriage, followed by a mere shell of a relationship with Webb, and her true love for and commitment to Harm. “… Because I love you for real. You’ve always been the one I’ve really been in love with, and I will never ignore that fact again.”
“Here you are.” The jeweler came out with a lens that he put in front of Mac.
Mac looked at the stone under the lens for a few moments. “Can I have a look at this ring also?” She pointed to another of the same design. She then examined that one.
“Harm, you remember the case with the manufactured diamonds?”
“Of course.”
“On close examination, you could tell one of those diamonds wasn’t really valuable because it was too perfect.”
“There was also something about serial numbers I recall …”
“True diamonds, Harm,” she continued, “have flaws. It’s those flaws that make them unique, make them real, and make them something of value.”
“Flawed diamonds are good?”
“Not necessarily. Diamonds are like people. Flaws are inevitable; they can be the result of past rough handling or just formed that way. Some flaws are fatal, and you don’t want those diamonds. But other flaws -”
“- give character?” Harm finished.
“Exactly. And then it’s a matter of choosing the diamond with just the right character to suit you.”
“I think I understand.”
“Here, look.” She had him use the magnifying lens to look at one of the rings she had out. “Do you see the blemishes on the left side?”
“Little scratches on the outside?”
“Yep.”
“What about the mark on the right?” he asked.
“That’s an inclusion. A very small, harmless crack on the inside of the diamond.”
“Okay. It’s not something you could see without the magnifying glass.”
“No, but it still makes up the character of this diamond. Now look at this one.” Mac had him look at the stone in the other ring she had out. “What do you see?”
“Well, I don’t see those same kind of scratches on the outside.”
“Blemishes are minimal on this one,” she agreed.
“But there is a line, I think,” Harm said. “No, two of them. One on the lower left and one on the upper right, over here. Unless my eyes are playing tricks on me. It’s hard to tell.”
“No, you’re right,” encouraged Mac. “There are two slight inclusions in this diamond. Almost balancing each other symmetrically. They each run deep into the stone on the sides at an angle. But the center of this diamond is unflawed. And this diamond, as a whole, is very strong and very beautiful.”
“You like the character of this one,” he commented as he stood back up and looked at her.
“I do.”
“It represents us, doesn’t it? One line represents my flaws and the other yours?” Harm observed.
“Yes,” Mac confirmed. “But once we get past the flaws, we find that in the center, in our hearts, we have an amazingly clear and strong love for each other.”
“And as a whole - ” Harm started.
“- we have something beautiful that will endure forever,” Mac finished.
“That we do, Sarah. That we do.” They gazed at each other for some time.
Finally, Harm spoke to the jeweler. “Sir, I’d like to make a purchase.”
***TBC in JAG Continues:
E-mail author: teacupofjag@hotmail.com