JAG
Continues:
Author: Teacup 2005
Disclaimer: JAG characters and their backgrounds (unless otherwise noted in subsequent chapters) belong to Donald P.
Bellisario, et al. This particular story otherwise belongs to me, and is in no way officially endorsed by the legal owners of the JAG television show. (However, I’m more than willing to work out a licensing agreement, if they’re interested!)
A/N: This story picks up where the series finale left off …
“I always wanted to do this at the Super Bowl!” Bud exclaimed with the eagerness of a child. “Here goes.”
As the coin flipped in the air, breaths were held in anticipation. The shiny piece descended to Bud’s hand and bounced off of his palm. Before Bud could recover, the coin dropped to the floor, rolled, and stopped not far from Sturgis’ foot.
Bud followed the trail of the coin with his eyes. “I’m sorry. I guess I won’t be volunteering to do this at any football games.” He blushed with embarrassment. “At least I didn’t have millions of people watching me.”
“It’s okay, Bud,” Mac said gently. She was almost relieved at the momentary postponement of this life-changing revelation. The butterflies in her stomach even eased for exactly two seconds.
Harriet gave her husband a loving, supportive look. “Guess we’ll just need to make you practice before we send you out to the pros.”
Bud was still uncomfortable. This was only the most significant determination in the lives of two of his closest friends. “Um … anyone know the rule if you try to catch it, but it drops?”
“Whichever side’s up, Bud,” Harm said confidently.
Mac had a feeling Harm had already determined which side the coin had landed on. She had not been able to look herself. Sturgis knelt down to the coin. “That would be … tails,” he said picking it up and showing it to everyone, before handing it back to Bud.
Silence for a moment. The guests’ eyes bounced between Harm and Mac, searching for some response. The couple, still lightly embracing, did not look at each other. Mac appeared surprised, slightly smiling, but with some uncertainty written on her face. She took a deep, nervous breath. Harm’s lips had tensed, turned up a bit, but otherwise he stood with stoic countenance.
Harriet finally broke the silence. “Well, congratulations Colonel!” She quickly hugged the half of Mac not entwined around Harm.
“Thanks,” Mac said hesitantly. She finally looked up at Harm, probing his face for a reaction. He was wearing a small smile, but his eyes were distant. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Maybe we should have a re-do,” she suggested, “ … since it dropped.” She remembered another time when the two had flipped a coin and it ended on the floor, as did they when they went after it. She didn’t ask for a re-flip then, even though Harm had won. But that had only been to determine who was going to be first chair before a tribunal. This was a whole different magnitude.
“No,” Harm said succinctly. “ … Fate has spoken.
He looked confident, but his eyes were still distant. It was his turn to take in a deep breath and sigh. Mac knew he must be disappointed.
“Are you sure?” she asked quietly.
Harm’s eyes finally focused on her. “I’m sure that I want to marry you, Mac, wherever it’s meant to be.” He smiled and hugged her tight.
The General interrupted, “As happy as I am that the
Marines have won this one – Mr. Rabb, you do realize
that giving up this opportunity in
“Yes, sir. I expect I’ll have to resign my naval commission altogether.” It hurt Mac to hear Harm say those words.
“Well, I don’t know if that will be necessary. I’m sure there are some arrangements
that could be made closer to
“Thank you sir. I would like to consider some of those options,” Harm answered.
Congratulations were being spread to Mac and some bittersweet “tough lucks” to Harm. Mac smiled half-heartedly. She knew she should feel elated; … she had an excellent career move in front of her, and the man that she loved was willing to give up his own promising career to be with her. But she felt guilt instead. She kept looking at Harm. Maybe he can’t do it. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. And even if he is willing to go through with this, maybe she couldn’t stand to see the disappointment she knew he was hiding.
But Harm appeared to be adjusting well. “So, Coates, it looks like the three of
us will be moving to
“Yes, sir. It looks like it,” Jen replied. “Are you really okay with this, sir?”
“Sure,
He merely grinned at her knowingly and continued, “ … so maybe I’ll have a prayer of keeping other men from chasing after my truly beautiful soon-to-be-wife,” his face became more serious, “who doesn’t need to flaunt anything to be the most desirable woman I have ever met.” He drew close to Mac. She smiled and gave in. That earned him a small kiss, even if he was being incorrigible.
Bud was impressed. “Nice save, sir,” he said, even though he realized then that Harm had planned the comment.
“That wasn’t a save, Bud. It’s the truth. And Coates, to answer your question seriously … I’m not only okay, but I’m happy. It’s Mac’s turn to shine.” Harm genuinely smiled at the woman he held in his arms.
“Well, in that case,” the General cut in, addressing Mac,
“congratulations Colonel.” He
needed to confirm exactly what was happening the next day. “I expect that you will travel to
“Ah …Yes sir,” Mac answered hesitantly. As reality was setting in, she suddenly felt panicked about what she and especially Harm were doing. “Would you all excuse Harm and me for a moment?”
“Of course,” said the General, nodding.
Mac took Harm by the hand and led him outside. Once they left, the General shook his head and smirked. “And so it begins …”
“A beautiful romance, sir?” asked Jen.
“No, Petty Officer, I was referring to the fact that once a man commits himself to a woman, he spends the rest of his life taking orders of a different kind.” When the General became aware that Harriet was glaring at him, he added defensively, “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
-------
Mac led Harm to a secluded area across the street. Taking his hands in each of hers, she
turned to him. “I need to know if
this is really what you want.
Because as far as your career is concerned, there’s no going back if you
give up this opportunity in
“I know.” Harm looked intently into Mac’s eyes. “We made a deal. I accept the consequences.”
“Gee, don’t make it sound romantic or anything,” Mac said sarcastically.
“Ma-ac.” Harm gave her his ‘that’s not how I meant it’ look.
She smiled for a moment, but then became serious again. “Harm, I don’t want you to resent me years from now because you gave up your career for me.”
“I won’t resent you.
And I’m not just giving up this position in
Mac sighed. “I still feel guilty. I get everything, and you have to sacrifice.”
Harm pulled his hands from Mac’s and put them on her shoulders. “We knew it was an impossible choice, because either way, one of us would have to let the other choose to give something up. That’s why we did the coin toss. Fate decided. No one’s to blame, so there’s no guilt. Okay?” Mac nodded slightly, but looked down. “Hey, and Mac …” Harm lifted her chin until her eyes met his. “You deserve everything.”
“So do you.” She looked up at him with earnestness and concern.
Harm knew he needed to reassure her. The last thing he wanted was to have her feeling guilty over this. Not only did he wish to spare her any bad emotions, but he also realized that any lingering guilt held by either of them would not bode well for their future … their marriage. “If you are still willing to become my wife, I’ll have everything that matters.”
Mac loved this man so much. How could she let him give up the promotion? If loving meant willingness to sacrifice, what had she ever given up for him? This wasn’t the first time he was giving up his career for her.
“What if I say no?” she blurted out.
Harm paused and took a step back. Concerned, he asked, “Are you saying no?”
“I want to know what you’d do if I said no?”
“Well, … then I guess I’d go to
Mac was struck by his answer, and she became even more
determined to put his interests first.
But how could she convince him that she wanted to allow his career to
flourish, to let him fulfill his potential as Captain? She thought for a moment. “What if I said I’d only agree to
marry you if you did go to
Harm started to breathe a little easier now that it didn’t seem that Mac was going to reject him outright. “I’d say … I don’t think I could stand being ten and a half hours away from my wife.”
Mac rolled her eyes. “I meant if I came with you. Didn’t take the
position in
“Mac, I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not? Maybe it’s my turn to make the sacrifices. Maybe I can’t let you give up your career.”
Harm smiled gently, but shook his head. “Mac, we agreed to let fate decide. That was the point, so we wouldn’t have
to go through this. I don’t want to
play ‘what if.’ I want to go
to
“And the General said I may not
even have to give up the Navy. This
is just a new beginning, a time to explore different options. … Plus, the more I think about it, the
more I realize that
Mac looked at Harm questioningly. “Really?”
“Yeah. It’ll be good to stay in the States. We won’t be that far from all our friends here in D.C.; flights will be cheaper than back and forth overseas. And it’ll be better for Mattie too. I really don’t want to drag her out of the country … She’s got enough to deal with.
“The move to
“So you’ll do this for Mattie?” Mac was surprised by the disappointment in her own voice. Didn’t she just tell herself she didn’t want him to give up his career for her, so why should she be upset if he wasn’t doing it for her, but for Mattie? She felt bad about momentarily being jealous of his love for the teenager. She knew it was a different kind of love, and that Mattie needed him. She wanted the best for Mattie too, and Harm was just being practical.
But Harm had sensed the tone in her voice. “For us, Mac … For all of us.” Mac looked at him understandingly. But he felt the need to drive his point home. “Remember I said that I told Mattie I wasn’t going anywhere without her?” Mac nodded slightly. He brought his hand up and caressed her cheek. “Do you think I would do less for you?”
“But you wouldn’t just be staying put for me. I’ll be dragging you away to who knows what as far as your career,” Mac protested.
Harm paused and grinned. “Haven’t you learned by now that I will follow you anywhere, Marine?” Mac smiled in reply and then gave in to Harm’s embrace.
After a moment she asked timidly, “One more ‘what if’ question?”
“Then can we go inside and enjoy ourselves with no more of these doubts?”
“Maybe.” She was starting to feel better about this. He really did love her. And he was right; it probably would be better to stay in the States. But she couldn’t let go of this issue quite yet.
Harm responded, “Go ahead, one more.”
She pulled back from him. “What if the coin had landed with the head’s side up?”
Harm thought it was an odd question for Mac to ask – one that he was tempted to ask her, but not the other way around. Still, he felt he should answer.
“Then I’d hope that you would have been willing to switch
your flight to
Mac didn’t know why exactly, but she felt the need to confirm her earlier suspicion. “You already knew it was tails when you told Bud that the side up wins, didn’t you?”
Harm paused. “Yes.”
Suddenly Mac’s emotions shifted from guilt to suspicion. “Would you have asked Bud to re-flip the coin if it had landed with the head’s side up?”
“Probably.”
Without warning, even to herself, Mac became infuriated. “Why? Was this just a way so you could make your ‘honorable sacrifice,’ while keeping me from having an equal say, an equal risk? Was that your plan all along?”
She knew that if Harm had been trying to let her win, trying to protect her, it would have been with loving intentions. But he should have learned by now that loving her would also mean respecting her and being honest with her. It would be an insult if he took it upon himself to make the decision for them. It was one of the things she hated about how Mic had treated her.
To think that Harm would similarly make unilateral decisions regarding their future would offend her sense of independence and her ability to direct her own life … or rather, her need to be a partner in the decision-making process for their life together. Even if that process was a coin flip, it represented equal chances and equal risks.
Harm was astonished at Mac’s accusations. “No! Mac, I’ve been so conflicted about all
this, I felt we had to let fate decide. When that coin went up in the air …
honestly … part of me really did want it to be heads. Mac, I wanted to go to
Mac’s anger was gone. Instead she was embarrassed. How could she have doubted him? She knew he had been honest with her all along. And as over-protective as he could be at times, she also knew that he respected her.
Harm continued, “Look, I don’t know how I would have felt if it landed head’s side up. You’re right, I probably would have done the honorable thing and let Bud re-flip, just in case, for your benefit. … But then,” he pointed out, “you offered to do the same for me.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“For offering me a re-flip?”
She shot him a quick, piercing look. “You know what I meant.” She sighed. “I don’t know why I’m questioning everything. I guess I’m just nervous about deciding our future based on a coin toss.”
“You didn’t have a problem when we made the deal to do it this way.”
“Yeah, well I guess reality is setting in now. I’m scared. I just want to be sure we’re doing the right thing.”
Harm brought her close to him and held her. He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t want you to feel scared … or guilty about anything. This isn’t about sacrifices … Mac, I told you, if you agree to become my wife, I’ll have everything that’s important to me.”
The mention of sacrifices and deals suddenly reminded Mac of something else that Harm would have to give up if he married her.
“Not everything …” Mac whispered into his shoulder. She pulled away and turned from him. “Damn! I can’t believe I didn’t think about this before!” She was frustrated with herself now.
Just when he thought it was all working out, Mac’s outburst left Harm shocked and confused.
----------
“They’ve been out there for a while. I hope everything’s okay.” Harriet was worrying.
Bud replied, “Well, they are making a lot of changes. Big decisions.”
Harriet took her husband’s hand. “I know. I just hope they aren’t changing their minds. It has taken them so long to get to this point. They really belong together.”
“I don’t know,” Jen mused. Harriet gave her a disapproving look, and Jen quickly continued, “… I mean I do think they belong together. God knows they love each other. But I’ve never seen two more stubborn people, who have such trouble communicating with each other about certain important things.”
Sturgis broke in, “Tonight was obviously a real break-through for them. It will just take some adjustments. It’s bound to be rough in the beginning. Hopefully, they’ll get through it.”
The General did not understand why they were worrying. “You are all assuming that they are having problems out there. For all we know, they’ve lost themselves in each other and have forgotten we’re even here.”
“I could check?” Jen suggested.
“Petty Officer Coates, you will do no such thing,” the General said sternly.
“No, of course not, sir.” Jen was slightly ashamed.
Harriet smiled. She had been fighting the urge herself to go peek out.
---------
“Mac, honey, … talk to me.”
Harm walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.
Mac started, “You know that I …” She pulled away again and walked over to sit on a nearby bench. He followed and sat next to her, not sure what to do.
Once more, he tried gently, “Sarah …” The use of her given name caught her by surprise so that she looked up and unwillingly made brief eye contact with him before turning away again. She had to tell him – remind him.
Harm started again, “Look, I don’t know what just happened. But Mac, I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past nine years, and I know that my career … it’s not the most important thing in life.”
Mac shook her head. “It’s not just that …” She was beginning to cry.
“Then what?”
No response. Just tears.
“You need to talk to me. What’s the problem?”
“A baby, Harm. I can’t give you a baby, … a child of your own.”
“Mac!” He didn’t want to go there. It didn’t matter right now.
“No, Harm, you can’t tell me that’s not important to you.”
He took her hand and held it between his. “Look, we both want kids ...”
“Yeah, well.
There is no reason for us both to suffer.” She pulled her hand away and started
babbling, “You should go to
Harm couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Mac, I want you.”
Her tears were streaming by now. “Harm, the chances of us conceiving …”
He interrupted, “The chances of …”
“No.” She stopped him and looked directly into his eyes. “Your only chance at having a baby is with someone else. You’d be sacrificing your career and the chance of having your own child if you marry me.”
“That’s not how I see it.”
“There is no other way to see it!”
“Mac, listen to me. Marrying you will raise my chances of having a baby … infinitely.”
“Harm, you know I might never …”
He placed his finger on her lips. “I know the possibility. But Mac, if I don’t try for a baby with you, then my chances are zero … because I don’t want anyone else to mother my child. I won’t try for a baby with anyone else. Not even if you send me away.”
Mac was speechless. Did he really mean it?
Harm took his finger away and placed his hand on her leg. “Plus, … I think we have a good shot at having ourselves a kid.”
“Harm, it would take a miracle …”
“I believe in miracles,” he said quietly. A moment went by.
Mac knew he believed in miracles, and honestly, when it came to him, so did she. Finally, she asked, “You really think it could happen for us?”
“I do.” He paused. “Mac?”
“Yeah?” Her crying had slowed, and she was wiping her tears away with her fingers.
“Why didn’t you think about this issue earlier tonight?”
“I don’t know. It all happened so fast. I mean, there I was about to lose you in my life, and then I was just so excited that … that you wanted me … that you wanted to get married … that you said you loved me.”
“And I meant it.” He wiped another tear from her cheek and then took her hands in his. “Mac, the deal we had – going halves on a kid … that wasn’t just about having a baby. I mean I want a child … with you … but it was more about being close to you, being a part of your life, creating a bond with you that would keep you and me connected forever.”
Mac sniffled. “Yeah, I guess deep down I knew that, … because I felt the same way about you.” Harm was touched by her admission. After a moment, she added, “I guess it was either you felt that way about wanting me in your life, or else you really wanted your baby to have my looks.”
“Or your brains,” he added. “I have to admit that was part of it.” They smiled at each other, and Harm put his arm around her.
Mac was beginning to feel more confident. “We do have some medical options, I guess.”
“Yeah. Like I said, the future is full of possibilities we don’t even know about yet.”
“But what if we don’t ever have a child?”
Harm could tell that Mac was feeling better, despite the question, so he risked a tease. “I’m sorry counselor, but you’ve already reached your limit on ‘what if’ questions for the night.”
Mac responded in kind, “Who made you judge?”
“I’m not a judge; this is a purely contractual matter. We agreed to one more ‘what if’ question, and you used it up already.”
“Contractual? There was no contract. No unequivocal acceptance. And I don’t think there was valid consideration to support an agreement, even if one existed.”
“I disagree.” Harm smiled playfully. He was glad she was feeling well enough to play along. “But, I would like to point out,” he added tenderly, “that I think you already know my answer to your question.”
Mac looked at him and saw the commitment in his eyes. “I guess I do, but it would help to hear it.” She looked away as she said the last part.
Harm took a deep breath. “Sarah MacKenzie,” he brought her eyes back to his. “I am willing to face whatever the future brings, or does not bring, as long as you’re with me. I’m not only willing, Mac, but I want to be with you; I love you and need you, no matter what.”
Tears were swelling in Mac’s eyes again. “You’re so good to me.” She leaned in to hug him, and the two just embraced for a minute. Finally, Mac pulled back. “God, tonight should be the happiest night of our lives, and I go and ruin it by making a fuss and crying.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. We needed to go through that. … And the night is still young.”
“We have to go back in.” She was wiping the remaining wetness from her face with her fingers. “How can I go back like this?”
Harm almost told her that she was beautiful no matter what, but stopped because he knew the real issue was that she didn’t want to go inside with the telltale signs that she had been crying. It was a matter of pride. So he decided to go the practical route instead. “I have some wet wipes in my car, if you want to freshen up a bit to make yourself feel better.”
She looked at him gratefully. “Thank you. That would be good.”
“No problem.” They stood up and walked hand-in-hand to where the cars were parked. As they approached Mac’s car first, she stopped. “I have a make-up bag in here I think I should get.”
“Okay.” Harm waited, and after she retrieved a small bag they proceeded to his car. “I think the wipes are in the back seat. Mattie was the last to use them months ago when I was driving her and some of her teammates to a pizza party after a game. They wanted to clean up their hands.”
He opened the rear door and allowed Mac to climb in the backseat before he headed around to the other side. “Here they are.” With the dome light on in his car, he quickly found the wipes wedged under the front seat and handed them to Mac.
“Thanks.” Mac smiled and began wiping her face. She noticed Harm had been quiet ever since his comments about Mattie. “She’s going to be okay, you know?”
“Yeah, I do.” He took Mac’s hand and smiled. “We all are.”
Mac leaned over and kissed Harm on the cheek.
He turned to her. “You know, I didn’t really talk to you about how Mattie will fit in with ‘us.’ I assumed …” He nervously tried to find the right words. “I mean, if things go as planned … I am going to be her guardian again, and … ah … she’s going to need … a lot … over the next few months at least … and I know that’s not … well, not ideal for … newlyweds …”
Mac smiled, almost laughing. He looked at her, confused. The light in the car had shut itself off, but the streetlights outside shed ample light into the car.
“You’re funny,” she said. It was the same response she had given him once before when he was wondering if she wanted to move their baby deal up by a year. He didn’t think that had been all that funny then, and he certainly didn’t think there was anything funny about what he was talking about now.
Mac realized that she needed to explain. “Harm, I knew about Mattie when you suggested we get married. Did you think I expected you to abandon her? She’s an important part of your life, and she’s a good kid. I want to help her too. I’m not heartless, you know? I care about her.”
“I know. It’s just … not going to be easy.”
Mac smiled again, and raised an eyebrow. “When has anything ever been easy in our lives, Harm?”
Harm finally laughed a little. “You’re right.”
“Of course I am.”
Harm was delighted that Mac’s confidence was back. “But, I fail to see why you were laughing at me just now,” he pouted a little.
Mac tilted back her head for a second, smiling. Then she looked at Harm. “I don’t know. I guess I just find it amusing when you get all flustered to the point that you have difficulty speaking about something that … is really not a problem at all. It’s a good thing you don’t stammer like that in court. It just makes me laugh; I’m sorry.” She may have apologized, but she was still having a hard time suppressing a chuckle.
Harm tried to look hurt, but seeing the joy in her face at that moment got the better of him. “I’ll let it go … for now, but only because nothing makes me happier than seeing that smile of yours.”
And as he said it, even though in a teasing manner, she believed him. She was beginning to realize that the best thing she could give him was just to enjoy him, not to try to outdo him in sacrifices or torment him about the possibility of not having children of their own. He might just be happy if she stopped resisting. Obviously, all these years, resisting hadn’t made either of them content.
Harm saw more than joy in Mac’s face at that moment … There was something satisfying, something peaceful. He was taken aback when she suddenly and aggressively hugged him, holding him tightly to her. “Thank you,” she whispered into his ear.
“For what?” He wanted to look at her, but she showed no sign of letting him go.
“For being you … and for loving me.” Tears were forming in her eyes again. She closed them, letting the drops fall, and just held Harm closely.
-------
Inside, everyone was getting impatient. Harriet couldn’t take it anymore. She had to find out what was going on. “Bud, sweetheart, I think I left something in the car. Could you walk me out to get it?”
“There’s no need for you to go out. Just tell me what and where it is, and I’ll bring it in, Sweetie.”
Harriet loved her husband’s kindness, but sometimes his inability to pick up on her non-express communication frustrated her. He was improving over the years though. She’d try again. “No, Bud, it’s really something that I need to look for.”
“Okay.” Bud was still oblivious to what his wife was doing. As they walked toward the exit, he thought he should offer an explanation to the others. “Excuse us, General, we’ve left something in the car. We’ll be right back.”
“I see,” said General Cresswell. “Oh, Commander Roberts …”
Bud stopped in his tracks. “Yes, sir?”
“If you happen to see the newly engaged couple, could you remind them that there are people waiting in here for them?”
“Aye, sir.”
As Harriet led Bud outside, the General smiled and mumbled, “Exhibit number two.”
-------
As Bud started toward the car, Harriet called him back in a loud whisper.
“What is it?” he asked.
She took his arm in hers and whispered more quietly, taking very slow steps in the direction that Bud had initially started. “I didn’t really leave anything in the car.”
Bud stopped. “Then what are we doing out here?” He was confused for a moment.
“Finding out what’s keeping them.”
“Oh,” he said reflexively at first. Then the light bulb turned on. “Ohhh,” he said finally understanding. “But we don’t want anyone to know that we’re looking for them?” he asked for confirmation.
“Now you’re catching on.” Harriet was pleased with her husband. They walked slowly, trying ever so casually to scope out the street.
-------
After minutes of just holding each other, while Mac slowly stopped crying, something caught Harm’s attention. “It looks like Bud and Harriet might be leaving.”
Mac loosened her grip on him and turned to see the couple. “Oh no!”
“Oh no? They probably have to get back to their kids. We have been out here awhile.”
“Thirty-two minutes, twenty-one seconds. But they’re not leaving. They’re the search party.”
Harm chuckled. “Yeah, I guess they are looking around a lot.” He was trying to figure out why they were so obviously trying to hide what they were doing.
“Harm, I was crying again; my eyes must be red. I don’t want them to see me like this. I don’t want them to think I brought you out here because I was having doubts about this … about us.”
Harm decided not to remind her that, in fact, she had brought him outside because she was having doubts. “Well, they haven’t spotted us yet. They’re still scanning the street. And it’s dark.”
“But it won’t take long for them to find us. And the lights from the street are shining in on us pretty brightly.”
“Yeah, sorry.” Harm suddenly had an idea and started grinning broadly. “You know, there is a way to make sure they keep their distance.”
Mac looked at Harm, wondering just what he had in mind and why he was so happy about it. “How?”
“Well, I don’t think they’d want to intrude if they found us … preoccupied.”
Mac raised her eyebrows. “Preoccupied?” she repeated.
“Mm-hmm. Then everyone would just think you brought me out here because you find me absolutely irresistible.” The beaming expression on his face was priceless. He loved teasing her.
Mac was ready to snap back with a witty comment about him and his ego, but she saw Bud and Harriet getting closer, and frankly, the idea of expressing her affection with Harm was appealing, even if she didn’t want an audience. She quickly got into his game.
She smiled seductively and stated, “Maybe that’s not so far from the truth.”
“Yeah?” he asked as they moved closer to each other, each with penetrating gazes and impish smiles.
“Yeah,” she barely managed to get out before their lips met and their eyes closed. It didn’t take long before they really did shut out the rest of the world to anything but each other and passionate kisses that made them gasp for air.
---------
“I haven’t seen any sign of them, but we’re getting close to our car,” Bud stated.
“Where could they have gone?” Harriet pondered.
“Well, Colonel MacKenzie’s corvette is over there, so they must be around here somewhere.”
“They have to be, if her car is still here … unless they came separately?”
“Yeah, come to think of it, when the Captain called earlier, I think he did say that the Colonel was going back to her apartment to change and would meet us here,” Bud recalled.
“Is his car still here?” Harriet asked.
Bud looked around. “Yeah, I think it’s that one over there, just past the green Volkswagen.”
“Are you sure?”
They walked a little closer, Bud leading the way. He stopped short. “Ah … yeah I’m sure.” He quickly turned around just as Harriet was discovering the couple. She gasped for a moment and then looked over at her husband who was obviously very uncomfortable seeing two of his colleagues sharing a personal moment. Harriet turned around as well, but more out of fear of being rude or getting caught gawking than from discomfort in what she was seeing.
“Oh my gosh! Well, I guess the General was right; there is nothing to worry about.” She smiled satisfactorily. With that, Harriet started back towards the bar.
“Harriet!” It was Bud’s turn to urgently call her back in a loud whisper. “The General asked me to remind them that people are waiting for them.” He had a look of terror on his face. He didn’t know which was worse, the thought of interrupting his friends or going back inside without doing what the General asked.
Harriet was somewhat amused because she knew exactly what was running through her husband’s mind. However, there was no way she was going to interrupt the couple – it would just be too embarrassing for everyone.
“We were supposed to be going to our car to get something.” She started in that direction, Bud following quickly, but quite distracted. “Bud, could you unlock the door, please?” Harriet asked.
“Oh … I thought you didn’t really forget anything in there?”
“I know, but I was thinking that someone from the bar might peek out, so we should at least pretend to be doing what we said. And it will give us an extra minute to think about what to do about them.” She motioned in the direction of Harm’s car with her head.
“Right,” Bud said. He started fumbling through his pockets for the keys. “Nope, that’s not the one. Here it is.” He pulled the correct set of keys out, but while trying to return the other set to his pocket, the key rings got caught on each other, and in trying to separate them, one set fell to the ground. “Great, I can’t hold onto anything today.” He took a deep breath and bent over to pick up the keys.
“It’s not a big deal, honey,” Harriet’s voice soothed him. Bud pushed a button on the key ring, and the doors of the car unlocked.
“At least I didn’t set the alarm off this time,” Bud sighed. He held the door open for his wife. Harriet sat herself in the car, and then suddenly her eyes widened.
“That’s it, Bud! You’re a genius!”
“I am?”
“Yes. We can set off the car alarm and make it look like an accident. The noise will hopefully be enough to bring the two lovebirds back to the real world, and they won’t have to know that we saw them.”
“So we don’t have to go over there, and I can still do what the General asked. I like it! But how do we make it look like an accident?”
--------
Harm didn’t know how he had gotten through all these years without the sensation of this woman’s kisses. Nothing had ever felt so right to him. He didn’t even care that his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. This was more exhilarating than piloting a Tomcat … and to think they were only kissing!
Mac was similarly struck with awe at the passion burning between them. She couldn’t think anything coherently; she didn’t even know how long they had been sharing each other’s lips. Her internal clock had been short-circuited for the moment.
Abruptly, a cacophony ripped though the air, interrupting their quiet world made of just the two of them. It caused them to separate only for a second until they recognized it as a car alarm. They didn’t even bother to look out, but resumed instead to their blissful activity. However, the sound was incessant, and eventually their lips broke apart. They leaned their foreheads against each other, both breathing hard.
“Why doesn’t somebody turn off that alarm?!” Harm exclaimed in frustration, as he finally pulled away from Mac. Mac glanced out the window and smiled with a sigh.
“Because it’s our alarm.”
Harm was confused. “My car alarm isn’t going off. Is it your car?”
“No,” she sighed, “but the alarm is definitely meant to get our attention.”
Sure enough, a second later the agonizing sound stopped. Harm saw the hazard lights of Harriet’s car blink one last time as the alarm was turned off. He let out a low groan.
Mac exhaled loudly. “I have to admit, your plan worked.”
“Hmm?”
“They didn’t come knocking on your car door.”
“Oh, right.” Harm had forgotten the reason they started kissing in the first place.
Mac was trying to recompose herself. “We have to go back now. Harm, are my eyes still red?”
“No, they’re brown, beautiful, and very clear.” He leaned over and kissed her on her forehead, smiling at her beauty.
“Let me just fix my make-up, and then we’ll go.”
“Okay.” He sat for a moment with his eyes closed and his head back, while she reapplied lipstick.
Mac looked over at Harm. “You know, a week ago I never would have believed that you and I would be in the backseat of your car making out like a couple of teenagers.” She almost giggled.
Harm responded seriously. “Oh Mac, I don’t think you can compare what we were doing to a teenagers’ make-out session. They couldn’t possibly reach anything near the level of intensity that we just experienced. Hell, I don’t think I’ve experienced anything that intense before … ever.”
Mac swallowed hard. “Me either,” she whispered her admission. Her heart still hadn’t returned to a normal pace, and she could see Harm’s chest was still dramatically rising and falling with his deep breaths.
Harm couldn’t resist. He leaned over and kissed her one last time, a long slow kiss. When he pulled away, they just looked into each other’s eyes for several moments until something fell to the car floor. It was Mac’s make-up bag. She picked it up. “Give me a minute to finish this, and then we can go.”
“Yeah.” Harm needed to wind down. “I’m just going to step outside and get some fresh air.”
“Sure.” She could use a minute away from him to collect herself as well. She glanced over at him as he was about to get out of the car. “Oh, Harm … wait.”
He stopped and looked at her. She pulled out one of the wet wipes and started wiping his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed. Mac finished. “I guess I need to get rid of the lipstick in this bag; it rubs off very easily, … and it’s not your color.” She smiled at him.
Harm wiped at his lips with his hand. “Thanks,” he said sincerely as he opened the door to let himself out.
--------
A minute later they were walking back to the bar.
“So we’re okay?” asked Harm cautiously.
“Yeah, we’re more than okay.” Mac hugged his arm closer to her as they
walked. “I just realized that it
works out really well that Jennifer wants to come to
“You’re right.” Harm smiled. “That’s what I like to hear. How everything is working out for the best.”
Mac looked up at Harm and thought about how amazing he is. He had every right to be at least a little sulky right now over the job issue. But instead of pointing that out to him, she realized that if they were going to do this, she should support his positive thinking.
Harm obviously found comfort in discovering the benefits of
declining the European position.
He, himself, added, “I don’t think I would have liked living in
“No?” she asked.
“It rains all the time.” Harm made a sour face as he said it, before smiling again.
“That’s true.
You know, weather can affect people’s dispositions. I think sunny
“Another good point, counselor.” He was glad that she was thinking so much about Mattie’s best interest. They were going to be a family.
The couple was nearing the bar’s entrance now. “Mac, I may have to go to
“I know. We’ll see what the General has to say.”
He took a deep breath as he reached for the door. “Okay, ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Harm opened the door and let Mac through, his hand gently on the small of her back.
---------
“Well, nice of the guests of honor to return,” chided the General as the couple walked in.
“Our apologies for being gone so long.” Harm began, “We had some things - ”
“- to discuss, as you can imagine with the changes we’re making,” Mac finished, in as professional a manner as possible.
While Harriet was thinking how remarkable it was that Harm and Mac could seamlessly begin and end each other’s sentences, she heard Sturgis audibly mumble, “I’ll bet,” under his breath. At the comment, Jen unsuccessfully tried to suppress a smirk.
Although Bud and Harriet had not expressly mentioned what the other two had been doing, their confirmation that the General had been correct in his earlier statement, gave everyone the clear impression that Harm and Mac were not ‘discussing’ anything most of this time. Harm gave Sturgis a warning glare.
Evident that everyone knew of their ‘preoccupied’ state in the car, Mac was silently praying that there would be no more comments. She blushed slightly, but thought: this wasn’t as embarrassing as coming in crying would have been, right? Maybe she should have rethought this.
General Cresswell came to Mac’s
rescue, getting down to business.
“Colonel, I believe when you left, we were establishing that you will
travel to
“Yes, sir” she replied.
“Am I to assume that nothing has changed, and you still intend to accept your command position at Joint Legal Services?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” The General was pleased that the marine had not backed down. “Captain Rabb.”
“Yes, sir,” Harm replied. He noted that formally discussing his career with his commanding officer in a bar was slightly uncomfortable, but it couldn’t be helped.
The General continued, “Do you intend on accepting the
position in
“No, sir.”
“So am I to assume that you do not wish to travel to
“I would prefer not to, sir. If possible.”
“Commander Turner.”
“Yes, sir,” replied Sturgis.
“Can you get yourself ready to take a flight to
“Yes, sir.”
“Then you’d better get out of here and pack as soon as you finish that drink and feel up to driving.”
“Aye, aye sir.”
Turning back to Harm, the General continued, “Very well. For the time being I expect you to report to Headquarters as usual. I can’t afford to have any more of my attorneys leaving at this time. You’ll need to handle Commander Turner’s cases while he is away.”
“Aye, sir,” Harm responded. “Thank you, sir.”
General Cresswell smiled at Harm and Mac. “Congratulations again. To both of you.”
“Thank you, sir,” they both replied.
“Now I need to get back to my wife. Captain, …” The General stopped to consider the rank. “You may have to get used to being called commander again until things are decided, but since you are appropriately wearing captain’s shoulder boards at the moment … Captain Rabb, thank you for the drink.”
“My pleasure. Thank you for coming, sir,” Harm replied.
“I didn’t have much choice.” The General threw Jen a look.
“Then thank you for staying,” said Mac.
The General nodded. Then pointing at Jen while addressing Mac, he warned, “Colonel, you’ll have to keep your eye on this one.”
Mac laughed, “Yes, sir.”
“Coates, you are to report to Headquarters as usual until we get your transfer papers.”
“Aye, sir,” Jen replied.
“Good luck in
“Thank you, sir.”
“Good night, then,” the General addressed everyone. He left after everyone bid him a good night as well.
The rest of them enjoyed themselves for a while. They decided to relocate to a table. Bud, Harriet, and Jen found their seats, while Sturgis said his goodbyes to Harm and Mac at the bar.
“You two couldn’t have decided this earlier? At least given me some time to prepare to
go to
“Sorry for the inconvenience, Sturgis,” said Mac.
“It’ll be good for you,” noted Harm. “Maybe now the promotion board will reconsider.”
“I suppose. But
“It’s only two weeks,” Mac pointed out.
“During the time that she is supposed to be moving into your apartment, Mac.”
“Oh, yeah,” she remembered.
“That’s still okay, right? Since you are leaving?” Sturgis asked.
“Absolutely.”
“Good. Harm, give me a call if you need any info on my cases. No big deadlines for a while. You’re lucky.”
“Thanks Sturgis,” Harm answered.
“Good luck to you both.” Sturgis started for the door, but stopped with an afterthought. “So Mac, this means that I don’t have to keep your secret anymore, right?”
This caught Mac by surprise, but not as much as it did Harm. “Secret? What secret?” he inquired.
Mac’s face became slightly flushed. She opened her mouth, but didn’t answer right away. Harm looked at Sturgis, questioningly.
“The one Mac threatened me with serious bodily injury to keep.” Sturgis glanced at Mac, who looked like she was considering doing just that to him at the moment.
Instead, however, Mac composed herself. “Yes, Sturgis, obviously it’s not a secret anymore, but I would appreciate you not telling the others about when you found out. I wouldn’t want any of them to be offended that I hadn’t told them a long time ago.”
“Understood,” replied Sturgis. And with that, he left.
“Are you going to tell me?” asked Harm.
Mac rolled her eyes. “Ask me later.”
“Count on it.”
As they approached the table, Bud and Harriet were just standing up. “I’m really sorry we can’t stay longer, but we have to relieve the babysitter,” Harriet said.
“We need to be nice to her,” Bud added, “since we had to call her at the last minute tonight.”
“Sorry about that,” said Mac.
“Don’t be silly,” Harriet chastised her. “I really am so very happy for the both of you. It’s been so frustrating waiting for the two of you to get your act together!”
“Tell me about it,” Mac sighed.
Bud grinned. “We
really are happy for you two.
Colonel, since you’ll be off to
“Thank you Bud. I’m going to miss you too. But it’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”
Bud just nodded.
The two couples exchanged final goodbyes, and the Roberts left. Jen also decided it was time to head
home. She expressed once again how
happy she was about everything and that she was looking forward to
“Guess we should head out of here as well,” Mac said quietly.
“Yep, we’ve got to get you ready for an early flight. Let me settle the tab and we’ll go.”
The bartender, Johanna, grinned at the two of them as she handed Harm the bill. “So, did the two of you figure out if you’re engaged?”
Harm smiled, “Well, let’s just say, I’m going to have to invest in a ring.” At that, Mac leaned her head against Harm’s shoulder and hugged his arm.
“So then negotiations are going well?” Johanna looked at Mac this time.
Mac lifted her head, but directed her response to Harm. “I would say we are getting very close to a final settlement.” Harm leaned over for a quick kiss, and finished paying the bill.
“Well, the two of you make a very handsome couple,” the bartender admired. As they stood up to leave, she added quietly to Mac, “Can’t say I don’t envy you.”
Mac only replied with a smile. Then she looked at Harm and slid her arm around his waist. It was a possessive move that she was all too happy to finally be able to make.
Harm walked her out to her car, and they stood outside the driver’s side embracing each other. “So, now what?” Mac asked, her arms over his shoulders, clasped behind his neck.
“How about we both drive over to my place, and if you want,
you can leave your ‘vette there for me to look after
it for now. Unless you’ve already made arrangements to get it to
“No, I hadn’t made arrangements yet.”
“Okay, so we’ll stop at my place, I’ll change, take you to your apartment, and help you finish packing. Then in the morning, I’ll take you to the airport.”
“Alright.”
--------
When they got to Mac’s apartment, she changed her clothes and directed Harm in how to help her finish packing. They finished in fifty-seven minutes.
“I think that’s it. Just a few things to put in my bag in the morning to take to the VOQ for the first few weeks.” Mac slumped onto her couch.
Harm leaned on the couch’s arm at the other end. “So, I guess my work here is done for the night.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
Harm saw the playfulness in Mac’s eyes. “No?” he responded.
“Well, maybe you are done working …” she conceded, as she gently pulled him onto the couch beside her. His heart started pounding.
“… but I have yet to properly thank you.” She stared at him seductively for a moment. He swallowed hard as she gradually inched closer to him. They began to slowly kiss. He brought her closer and wrapped her in his arms, his hands gently rubbing up and down her back as their lips pressed into each other.
When Mac finally pulled away after the long, heartfelt kiss, Harm swallowed hard again and barely managed to whisper, “You’re welcome.”
“You know, I have a lot more to thank you for.” Mac started playing with the top button of Harm’s shirt.
“I’ll have to remember to keep doing nice things for you.” He took her hand away from his shirt button and placed a kiss on her fingers. “I have a lot to thank you for too.” He slowly edged towards her. “And I very much look forward to doing everything I can …” His hand brushed her hair back on her left side. “… To show you how grateful I am …” He placed a tender kiss on that side of her neck.
With his left hand he gathered her hair back on the other side, as he looked back into her eyes. “… How much I adore you …” He kissed her neck on her right side. Returning to her gaze, he half whispered, “… How much I love you.” Using his hands, which were now under her hair, he tilted her head back and gently kissed the hollow of her exposed neck.
He eased her head back up and looked intently into her eyes again. He took a deep breath. This suddenly reminded Mac that she needed to breathe, something she had been too entranced to do for the last few moments.
Harm had frozen, his eyes locked with hers, his hands still supporting the base of her head. Without thinking, Mac mirrored him, clasping her hands behind his neck. A second later they had pulled each other together into a kiss, filled both with deep love and deep desire. When Mac made a small sound indicating her enjoyment, Harm nearly came undone.
He finally pulled himself from Mac and looked away. He was trembling slightly. “I should … uh … go … now.”
Without a glance back at Mac, he stood up, started to walk away, but stopped as he desperately tried to remember if he needed to grab anything on his way out. Car keys? Jacket? He couldn’t think straight.
It took Mac a few moments to even register what Harm had said after he abruptly tore his warm touch away from her. “Harm?” she finally found her voice, in an effort to communicate her confusion.
He turned around to her. He was starting to regain his bearings. “Yeah, … you need to sleep. Big day for you tomorrow. I’ll be back to take you to the airport.” He slowly started towards the door, still feeling like he was forgetting something.
His sudden attempt to leave sobered Mac quickly from her passion-induced haze. She sprinted up and beat him to the exit. “Whoa.” She hastily placed her hand against the door to prevent him from pulling it open and stood looking at him in utter bewilderment. She was not going to let him out of there without an explanation. “What are you doing, Harm?”
“I’m leaving so that you can at least get a few hours of sleep.”
“Harm, I’m starting a new job, I’m moving to the other side of the country tomorrow, and we just agreed to get married five hours and thirty-four minutes ago. Do you really think I’m going to be calm enough to get any sleep tonight?”
“You might. You should at least try.”
Mac was familiar with Harm’s protective side, concerned with her well being, but she also knew when he was not telling her what was really on his mind. She removed her hand from the door and leaned her whole body against it instead. “You pulled away from me, and it’s not just because you want me to get some sleep tonight.”
No response. He wasn’t even making eye contact.
“Harm, you need to tell me what you’re doing, what you’re thinking. If we are going to make this work, we have to stop playing these games where one of us leaves the other one hanging and feeling hurt.”
“Mac, … I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He was looking at her now.
“Well, what did you mean to do? Because I don’t understand how you can tell me you want to marry me, say the things you just said to me, kiss me like that, … and then just leave me.”
“I wasn’t leaving you.”
“What do you call heading for the door?”
He waited a few seconds before answering, “Getting some fresh air.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“I don’t understand,” she responded.
“I need to get control of myself.”
“Why?”
“Mac, I love you more than anything. And I want you in every sense of the word. But … I think we should wait to … you know.”
“To make love?”
He nodded hesitantly.
“You don’t think nine years was long enough?” Mac inquired.
“We have waited a long time, and I think it’s worth postponing just a little longer. Hell, I’m already on sensory overload tonight just from kissing you! But I also want to do this right, Mac. I want us to be married before we take that step.”
“You’re what, protecting my chastity? Harm, I hate to remind you, but unfortunately, my innocence in that respect is long gone.”
“Not with me.”
“You’ve been with other women.”
“And I regret that,” he said succinctly.
“I regret my past too, but that doesn’t change it.”
“No, but we’re talking about the present now. We’re talking about you and me. I don’t want our sleeping together now to be added to the list of our regrets later.”
“Harm, we’re going to be married …” As she said it, she suddenly realized the argument she was starting to make was not effective in and of itself. After all, she had been planning to marry Mic, but she definitely regretted having slept with him now. And she regretted everything about her relationship with Chris, before and after they got married. But fortunately, Harm didn’t pounce on these points.
“Yes, we are going to be married,” he reiterated. “Mac, haven’t you ever dreamed of your wedding night? I mean - your ideal marriage … where after any, even hypothetical doubts are washed away by the vows of commitment and love, - not the kind made in the heat of passion, but made from the heart, the mind, and the soul … made to each other before the state, the world, God … after that … then you make that final most private, intimate, beautiful act, consummating your union with the one person that you will be in love with forever - your soul mate, your other half.”
Harm wasn’t quite sure where the words had come from, because he had never verbalized these thoughts before, not even in his own head. But he meant everything, and he was just hoping that Mac wouldn’t make fun of him for being cheesy.
Mac didn’t know what to say. “I … It’s just a fantasy. Not real. Not possible … in my life anyhow. Men have always wanted to … have me … right away.”
“Well, as a man, I can tell you, if I didn’t love and respect you so much, I wouldn’t wait either. But I do, and I want to marry you first.”
“… You’ve had this dream about your wedding night?”
He again nodded hesitantly. “But only with you in it. It’s always only been you.”
There was a long silence. Mac was trying to digest what Harm was saying to her. He wanted to wait, despite his urges, to make their union special, meaningful … and right. It was about commitment, respect, and love for each other. It was a sign of finality in the creation of the ultimate lasting connection between them, as a man and a woman whose love had indeed made them soul mates. The depth and beauty of it all was something she hadn’t thought possible. And yet here, the man who had a hold on her heart was offering her an ultimate dedication of love.
“Okay,” she finally mustered.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Okay, what?” He needed to be sure exactly what she was agreeing to or acknowledging.
“Okay, we can wait. We should wait. I mean … I want to wait until we’re married, too. I want to have that dream.”
Harm let out a huge sigh of relief and smiled for the first time since he had stood up. “I want to make that dream a reality.”
Mac smiled. She loved him so much. “So, would it be okay if I hugged you?”
“Yeah, more than okay.” They embraced for a long moment.
Still holding her, Harm finally whispered, “I should go.”
Mac let go of him, but protested, “Harm, it’s silly for you to go home just to come back here in a few hours. I was serious about my not sleeping tonight, so you can use my bed if you want to get some rest.”
“I won’t be able to sleep tonight either.”
“Well, in that case … we do have a lot of plans to make and things to discuss. And I don’t want to lose anymore time with you; as it is we don’t know when we’ll see each other again.” She could see that he knew she was right, but he was hesitating, likely still concerned about temptations between them. So, feigning innocence, she added, “I’ll try to behave myself.”
“Only try?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep,” she smiled slyly. “As of earlier tonight, everyone knows I find you irresistible.” She started walking towards the kitchen. “Come on, have a seat. I’m going to make some coffee; you want some?”
“Sure. You didn’t pack the coffee maker?” Harm sat back on the couch.
“No, I’m leaving it for
Harm didn’t miss the change in semantics. “‘We will.’ I like the sound of that.” He grinned. “So, does a new coffee maker mean you’ll start making better coffee?”
Mac made a face. “If you still can’t handle marine grade coffee, …” She walked over behind Harm on the couch and leaned over; “… how are you going to handle …”