A/N: I discovered a really awful typo in Part 10 that had been on the Boards for like two days. It was potentially insulting and it really freaked me out that it went out on the Internet under my name. I almost stopped writing this series, but a number of readers were so good to assure me that no one thought I had ill intent with the most unfortunate misspelling. Another FF author who I admire was so gracious in her concern over my distress she suggested I just write more. So here it is.

Again, if I offended anyone with that awful misspelling, please believe that it was never my intent.

All the usual disclaimers apply: Belasarius and Paramount own them, damn it. No money changes hands here, we’re just having fun.

Thank you all again for reading.

Birthday Series Part 12

Be Careful What You Wish For

Manly Arms Bed & Breakfast
Harm & Mac’s Room
Sunday, Oct. 26, 2003
2030 Local

“Oh god Mac.” Harm’s moaning and I can barely move to help him.

Mustering all my strength. I lift my head to look into his eyes. They’re focusing, sort of. “Yes?”

“You’re telling me that wasn’t your most voracious?” He’s sort of drifting a little here. Not totally with it or coherent, but I understand.

“No Harm, that wasn’t.”

He rallies like I’d never thought a Navy man could. Would have done a Marine proud ‘cause all of a sudden there I am under him. “I may not survive it, but I’ll sure has hell will like it.”

Boy, does he have a cute grin or what?

“If it makes you feel any better Harm, I do know CPR,” I offer most sweetly.

He kisses my forehead, now how endearing is that? “Good, ‘cause I’d really hate to miss out on the next 40 years or so with you.”

“Fifty,” I declare.

“Fifty?”
“Fifty.”

“OK.”

We shuffle around in bed a bit. “Hey Mac? Do you think you might give me warning when you’re gonna unleash that full-blown voracious part of you? ‘Cause I might need to be prepared. Have an ambulance standing by. Make sure my will is up to date, you know, things like that.”

He’s saying this as he is nibbling at my collarbone. Not fair. Not fair to who? Not sure who has the advantage here.

“But Harm, that’s a big part of the allure of the voracious Mac. She sneaks up on you and takes you down by surprise.” I’m doing a bit of nibbling on my own now. Two can play this game.

“OK, but give me a couple days to make sure all my affairs are in order before you unleash her on me, please?”

Flip flop, I’m back on top. “Affairs??? You’re having affairs that you need to get in order?” I know he’ll know I’m kidding, but hey, the opening was too good to leave alone.

“Well yes, Mac. There’s that 55-year-old redhead that I ‘service’ every week. She pays for my loft. Then there’s that 60-year-old blond (I must say, I keep my eyes closed when I’m taking care of her) but she pays for ‘Sarah’. Then there are the twin sisters, brunettes, not exactly sure how old they are, they won’t say...”

“Enough!” I’m trying to tickle and punch him at the same time. End up doing neither.

“I’m just guessing, but I’ll bet you’re gonna be very hungry very soon.” He’s kinda mumbling into my shoulder. Did he go to “cute” school or something? Jeez.

“Yes Harm, I will be. And we need to take a shower or stray cats will be following us around. We smell so much like sex it’s got to be illegal. Or it should be.”

He sniffs. “Yeah, we do. Smells good to me.” A little leer, a trace of a smile. Oh, this is the slyly randy part of Harm I haven’t quite met yet. Hello, nice to meet you. His eyes twinkle. Gee, and I thought only Kris Kringle’s eyes twinkled. Hey, this is better than a once a year holiday. Way better.

Not quite the cobra, maybe it’s the panther, he leaps out of bed. “Well, we better get going or you’ll be fainting from hunger before we get dinner.”

A hair abrupt, but his intentions are good. I crawl out of bed far more slowly. By the time I’m in the bathroom he’s got the shower going and is most beautifully wet. “Hey, get in here!”

Have I mentioned how much I like his little boy?
“Did you find a restaurant for us?” I ask as he washes my hair. Metro sexual, no question. “Yeah, I think so, just 3 blocks away. Has steaks -- I’m thinking you’re wanting a red meat fix -- and lots of stuff for me too.”

Now he’s putting conditioner in my hair. Was this guy a hairdresser in a former life? Jet jockey, lawyer and hairdresser? He’ll kill me if I breath a word of this to our friends. Damn, and it would make such great cocktail conversation!

“Sounds perfect. We better get there quick. It’s getting kinda late.” Much as I’m thinking this shower could get a little hotter, we really do need to eat.

He playfully slaps my butt, “yeah, hit the beach Marine,” and pushes me out of the shower.

Well. OK. Smartly done.

I’m dry and getting dressed as he walks into the bedroom. “What took you so long?”

“I washed you first, then I had to wash me. I’ve got a bigger body.” The sincerity with which he says this is unsurpassed. The expression on his face completely honest. OK, I’ll buy it. What else could he have been doing? The only other possible scenario is way too far a stretch for a man his age who’s already made love like what four times today.

“Casual?”

“Yep.”
Walking out of the Manly Arms I once again note how perfectly his body and mine fit together. His arm around my shoulder is at just the right height so that neither he nor I will get tired keeping it there. My arm around his waist is at the precise level that makes it most comfortable for me. His shoulder is exactly where I need it should I want to place my head against it.

“Harm,” I need to say this. And I’m not not saying things any more.

“Yeah Mac?”

“Stop.”

He turns to me, hands on my shoulders now a growing look of concern.

I put my hands on his hips, in an intentional proprietary fashion. I draw him closer to me. I raise my face to him. “Harm, kiss me right now. Right here in public.”

“Yes ma’am” he says as he gathers me closer to him and gives me what has to be a world class kiss. Must of been, some teenagers are starting to hoot and applaud. We turn toward them and bow. “Just remember guys, love is grand if you treat your woman right” Harm advises the peanut gallery.

“Oh Commander, is that so? Does that include exposing her to the terrible illness you have right now? The one that’s gonna keep you out of the office for two days? The same two days the Colonel happens to be on leave?”

Major oh oh here. We both stiffen as the Admiral walks towards us.

“Making out in the middle of the street? Lying to a superior officer? Exactly how many charges do you two think I can come up with?”

“All my fault, sir. The Colonel just kinda went along with it. It was my idea.” Harm’s trying but I can see the Admiral’s not buying.

“Going along is called accessory to a crime.”

“I’ll take full responsibility for my part in this, Admiral.” I’m not letting Harm take the fall alone for this.

“Really, Colonel. And just what part did you have to play in this?”

Boy, he’s not making this easy and we’ve started to draw a small audience.

“Well, sir. He had his 40th birthday yesterday.” Chegwidden’s eyebrows raise slightly. “I arranged a surprise birthday party for him.” Not seeing much sympathy here yet. “After the party we got talking about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and well, things just followed their natural course.”

“You were discussing physics and....?”

“Physics took over.”

I can see he’s having a hard time with this, but with the growing audience it’s making it tough for him to really bust us. Harm, god bless him, is staying very quiet.

“So when we woke up the next morning,”

“THE NEXT MORNING? YOU SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER?” He’s leaning really close to me now, I must say his intimidation skills are finely honed.

“Hey guy, of course they spent the night together. Can’t you see they’re in love?”

“What’s your problem? Hey, maybe you’re her father but don’t you think she’s old enough to have a boyfriend?”
“No, I think he’s in love with her too and is just jealous.”

“So why’s the big handsome boyfriend there not saying anything?”

The crowd is getting a little restless.

“Admiral, I don’t think these onlookers understand our situation. I’m not sure we do either. Maybe we might try to diffuse?”

He looks around. “Yes Colonel. Good call. As always. Follow me.”

I give a small “it’s all OK” wave to the crowd. They seem to buy it, thankfully.

Like penitent school kids, Harm and I walk behind the Admiral to yet another Bed and Breakfast. ‘The Last Resort’? It’s really named that?

We sit down, fittingly enough, in the sitting room.

“OK Colonel, since the Commander seems to have lost his voice, will you continue with this intriguing tale? I think you had just told me you two spent the night together.” Boy does he have glowering down to an art.

“Yes, sir. We did. Then I informed the Commander that I had two days leave scheduled, nonrefundable reservations for a B&B here, and he decided to come along with me.”

“That would be about the time he called me sounding like he had the plague.”

“Yes sir.”

“And you’ve been here since then.”

“Yes sir.”

“Been having a good time?”

Well, that was certainly not a question I expected. “Yes sir, very much sir.”

“Mr. Rabb, have you told the Colonel that you love her?” No nonsense here. Strict military demeanor.

“Yes sir.”

“And have you stated your intentions, or do you think you can just trifle with my chief of staff?”

“I’ve stated my intentions, she has agreed to marry me and no sir, I’d never trifle with your chief of staff.” He gulps.
Do I get to count that gulp? We were at 3 to 1, but I think the Admiral’s on my team so I’m making it 3 to 2.

The Admiral sits back in his chair, looking thoughtfully at us. One thing I’ve always liked about him is even when it seems like he makes quick decisions, he’s always taken time to consider the consequences.

“Do either of you know why I’m down here?”

Until this moment, I didn’t even question it. I guess I thought we were gonna get busted on this from the get go, so when it turned out to be busted by him, I didn’t wonder.

“My aunt owns this B&B, she’s getting on in years and wanted to have me review her will, papers, you know.”

I nudge Harm. We nod.

“The chances of my finding you, especially finding you making out like teenagers in the middle of the street!” (OK, he’s still steamed about that) “are about a million to one.”

He sighs.

“Harm,”

“Yes sir.”

“You’re really gonna marry her? I don’t have to take you out behind the woodshed and beat some sense in you, do I?” The Admiral looks hopeful, but a shade worn out by this.

“Yes sir.”

“Mac, do you really want to take on the challenge of keeping this man in line?” He gives me his most fatherly look.

“Only for the next 50 years, sir.”

“Well, OK. Go back to wherever it is you’re staying. Try to not make out on the street between here and there. We’ll discuss the rest of this back at the office on Wednesday. And Harm, you are not completely getting away with the ‘I’m sick’ scam.”

“No sir. Thank you sir. Goodnight sir.”

As quickly as we could, we got out of The Last Resort (who would name a B&B that?) and started running toward the Manly Arms.
By the time we reached our room, we were gasping for breath and laughing so hard we didn’t know up from down.

“OK, you’ve done it now. I TOLD you we’d get caught.”

“Hey, the Admiral himself said it, it was a million to one chance. It was worth it.”

“It was?”

“You bet. You know what’s even better?”

I just raise my eyebrows.

He gets such a smug smirk I want to kick his six. “He’s ordered us to get married. You can’t back out now, Mac. I’ve got you just where I want you.”

Me too I think as I pin him to the bed. “Hoo-rah” I whisper as I lick that bent ear just the way it drives him a little crazy.

fini -- not sure if there’s more, may be