Title: A Fine Line
Author: Hollyjp
Summary: What if Harm took the road he hasn’t taken - yet? What would happen - not only for him and Harm, but for Mattie?
Spoilers: Anything from Season 1 through season 9 including spoilers could be referenced.
Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.
Author’s Notes: Just need an excuse to think about Harm while I suffered through March Madness and no JAG for two whole weeks (replaying videos doesn’t count!)
1330 Local
Lucky Dream Palace
Falls Church, Virginia
The Admiral looked around at his staff gathered at the table to celebrate his yeoman’s promotion to Petty Officer First Class. As much as Jennifer Coates drove them all nuts when she interrupted, they all liked her. She was usually on target and she tried to make sure that they knew she understood what they were thinking and what needed to happen. His ‘family’ had been through some tough times in the past couple of years, but here they were still together with a few new members in the group celebrating together for one member of the family.
“Are we ready people?” asked the Admiral.
“I’m ready,” Mac announced before turning to her partner, “Are you?”
Mac stood up and looked back at Harmon Rabb Junior sitting their with a strange look on his face, his eyes unfocused as he seemed to be looking into his mind. Jennifer, Bud, Harriet, and Sturgis had already walked out. The Admiral motioned to her to go ahead and spoke again to the Commander.
“Commander Rabb? We’re leaving. You alright?”
“Uh...oh...Sorry sir, I guess I was daydreaming...”
Mac called from the entry, “I forgot my coat.”
“I’ll get it!” called back Harm. He reached down and picked up her coat and then spotted the little white paper on her plate where she had crumpled and tossed it. Harm picked it up and read the words surprised to find they did not match what she had ‘read’ to the group.
Satisfied that Commander Rabb had rejoined them, the Admiral left. Mac met Harm as he handed her the coat. Her fortune had been the same as the rest of them ...but she had lied about it. He was puzzled as to the meaning behind her cryptic words she had pretended were her fortune.
“Harm are you alright?”
“Yeah...”
“What were you thinking about?”
“The road not taken - yet.”
“And what road is that?” Mac asked him as they joined the others in the parking lot.
Harm smiled and said, “Well I guess as you didn’t get the same fortune as the rest of us, you don’t have to worry about it.”
“What if I did?”
“Then I would have to ask why you lied?”
“And I would have to ask why you didn’t read yours aloud?”
“Ah, yes...answer a question with a question...I’ll tell you what Mac. Join me for dinner and I’ll tell you not only why I didn’t want to read mine aloud, but I will tell you what I’ve been thinking about.”
“Get in the car people,” the Admiral urged them. They had all fit in the Admiral’s SUV so they had ridden together. Mac slid in next to Harriet in the middle seat, and Harm climbed into the front with the Admiral.
“Commander, you have been very quiet and introspective since we started reading fortunes. Anything you want to share?”
“Sorry Admiral...I’m not sure I have the personal insight enough to share with the group. I will let you know sir if I find any new revelations as a result.” Harm chuckled and the Admiral laughed along with him.
“Some how Harm, I suspect that you’ve learned a lot about yourself and what you want in life in the past few months and you are just learning how to go about getting what you want.”
“It could be sir.”
1640 Local
JAG HQ
Falls Church, Virginia
<buzz>
“Colonel Mackenzie.”
“Hey Mac...you never answered me if you would join me for dinner and discourse.”
“Discourse, huh? Are you talking about tonight?”
“I was, but if you are busy...”
“Tonight’s fine.”
“My place?”
“Sure. What time?”
“1830?”
“Will Mattie be there?”
“As far as I know. She usually does her homework while I fix dinner and then we eat. Afterwards, we clean up and I check over her homework. Tonight her favorite television show is on and so she’ll be heading back to watch it with Jennifer. We’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
“I’ll be there...what can I bring?” Mac asked.
“Just you and maybe a little patience while an aging man tries to tell his story...” Harm was feeling a little nervous about what he would say to her when the time came, but he knew he was ready for it to be said.
“I’ll see you later then Harm.”
1830 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm was just taking the casserole out of the oven when Mac knocked on the door.
“Hey Mattie, want to get that please?”
“I’m on it, Harm. Hey Mac!”
“Hi Mattie. How are you?”
“Great...already finished tonight’s homework. Harm’s already checked it and given his approval and I even had time to help fix the dinner.”
“Good for you. Here, you might want to put this in the freezer for now.” Mac handed Mattie a brown freezer bag.
“Ice Cream?”
“Yeah...Ben and Jerry’s chocolate with peanutbutter and one of their coffee ice cream.”
“So we’re set...what will Harm have?”
“I heard that Mathilda Grace!”
Mac and Mattie exchanged a giggle.
“I suppose we could share,” Mac suggested.
“If he behaves,” Mattie added.
“Alright you two...don’t make me regret this...” Harm laughed as he pointed his finger back and forth at the two of them.
Mattie put the ice cream in the freezer and turned to get the water pitcher filled with ice and water. Harm had set the hot mat on the table and put the casserole dish on it.
“Mmm, smells good, Harm.”
“Thanks Mac.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a casserole that’s done in layers...In this case there is a layer of glazed carrots, a layer of stove top stuffing, a layer of chicken, a layer of mushrooms, onions and green peppers, another layer of chicken, a layer of asparagus, another layer of stuffing. Top it with cream of mushroom soup and then you bake it.”
“It’s pretty good,” Mattie commented.
“Sounds great,” Mac smiled as she thought about how domestic Harm really was. He had always been the one to cook for their working dinners - when they didn’t order out. Sometimes Mac forgot about the little things like that.
Mac had hung her coat up on the hook next to the door and then headed for the table. She took her usual seat on Harm’s right, which was across from Mattie. They passed the salad around while Harm served them from the hot casserole dish.
Mac tasted the casserole and then looked up to Harm with a smile of approval. He smiled back while Mattie hid her smile at how cute these two adults were being with each other.
Over dinner, Harm and Mac told Mattie about the fortune cookies at Jennifer’s lunch that day.
“Your true desire is the road not taken...and Bud, Harriet, Jen, and the Admiral all got the same one?”
“Yes.”
“What did yours say?” Mattie asked looking first from one and then to the other.
“I can’t remember,” answered Mac.
“Wasn’t it, ‘Where ever you go, there you are’?” asked Harm innocently.
“Yeah, I think so,” confirmed Mac. “Harm, what were you thinking about at lunch? He was in his own world, Mattie...really out there by the way he looked.”
“I was just thinking how different Bud and Harriet’s lives would have been if they hadn’t gotten married. I pictured Bud being a plumber and king of Spa World.”
“And Harriet?” asked Mac.
“An heiress...living in a mansion...calling the Spa King to do her plumbing...”
They all laughed at Harm’s description of what he had envisioned.
“What about the Admiral?” asked Mattie.
“Well I thought about what would have happened if he had retired last year and married Meredith...if he had been able to take the time off to go with her to Italy at Christmas...even if hadn’t been for the full trip...” Harm’s voice trailed off.
“How did you envision Jennifer?” Mac asked.
“Walking a thin line...but staying on the right side of the law. The few cases that she’s had a chance to work on she used her con artist skills to do some pretty impressive under cover work.”
“That’s cool, Harm. So what do you think your road is that you haven’t taken?” asked Mattie.
Harm had just taken a bite of food and he held up a finger to indicate he’d answer when he finished chewing.
Mac looked at Mattie and grinned, “Think he’s trying to get out of answering that question?”
“Won’t let him off the hook that easy!” Mattie hooted as she grinned at Mac after glancing at Harm. Mac noticed that he was remaining amazingly calm.
“I’m not trying to get off the hook. Actually, you asked what my fortune said and it was the same.”
“Really?”
“Really. I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, actually.”
“So what road haven’t you taken that you want to take?” asked Mattie not realizing what kind of ‘pandora’s box’ she might be opening.
“Marriage,” was Harm’s simple answer.
“Marriage?” both Mac and Mattie almost choked not expecting that answer from Harm.
“Yeah, marriage. When I was younger I wanted to wait until I found the right person and then when I found the one I thought might be right, she was taken from me and we never had the chance to explore where we might have gone. A few months later, I was given a gift...a chance to meet someone special that I would have a chance to get to know better then I know myself in some ways...but by the time I realized that marriage would be the right thing for us, things were complicated by other people, my big mouth and then circumstances beyond our control.
“At first I was too angry and bitter to start down that road to marriage, but then I began to see that I needed to make some changes if marriage was to work. I’m willing to do whatever I can to make marriage work. A year ago I wasn’t ready to commit at that level, so I held back. Now I know it is what I want and I will do what ever I can to make it work. You know how I obsess over things; well I am ready to be obsessive about making marriage work.”
“Wow, Harm...I thought I was just being hopeful when I asked you if you were looking for a Mrs. Harm...”
“Actually Mattie, I can’t say I’m looking for her...I know who I hope will be ‘Mrs. Harm’ as you put it, but I think there are several things that have to happen first, before that can be come a reality.”
Mattie realized that while Harm was talking to her, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Mac. Finishing the last bite on her plate she picked up her plate and excused herself from the table.
“My show is coming on early tonight, so if you don’t mind I’m going to eat and run.”
“Go ahead, Mattie.”
“Thanks Harm,” Mattie kissed his cheek. “Good to see you again Mac...”
“Good to see you too, Mattie...” Mac wasn’t sure where to look. Harm was watching her intently, Mac wasn’t sure where he was going and while part of her wanted to know, part of her wanted to hide.
As the door closed behind Mattie, Harm reached his hand out to touch Mac’s hand on the table between them.
“Mac, I know what you’re fortune really was...”
“How do you know?”
“Because when I picked up your coat, I picked it up and looked at the paper on your plate.”
“Oh.”
“Mac, why did you lie?” Harm asked. Mac shrugged. Harm continued, “I think its because you wanted to keep your distance from the rest of us...”
“Then why wouldn’t you read yours?” Mac asked sharply.
“Because I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of them, and if they had pushed, I might have said something that would have come out wrong, embarrassing both of us...you asked me what the road was that I hadn’t yet taken.”
“Yes.”
“Mac there is only one road that we haven’t taken...and that’s one I want to take with you.”
“Harm, I think you need to explain what you mean...”
“Mac, we’ve been strangers, acquaintances, best friends, adversaries, partners, but we have not let ourselves explore a more personal relationship...one that would lead to marriage and our family. I know our original timeline is messed up, but I don’t care. I know you said it would never work between us, but since then I think even you have had second thoughts about whether we should try or not. You did say I didn’t fight for you, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” Mac whispered her response.
“Well, I’ve decided that one change I need to make is to tell you what I want...we tried it your way and it didn’t work...we were both miserable and we managed to rebuild a friendship of sorts. I have come to realize that its because the feelings that we have for each other run deep that we are able to keep patching things up. They say there is a fine line between love and hate...I think we’ve spent too much time learning about the hate side of the line and its time to explore the other side of the line.”
“But you can’t say the word...”
“Love?”
“Yeah...”
“Yes, I can Mac...” Harm got up from the table and started clearing things away. Mac just sat and thought as he worked around her. He had put the kettle on to boil as he cleared away the food and put dishes in the dish washer.
He fixed two cups of tea and set them on the coffee table and then came back to get Mac. Reaching for her hand he pulled her up from her seat at the table and led her to the couch.
He sat down and pulled her down to sit next to him.
“Mac, I’ve never said, ‘I love you to a woman’ that I’ve dated. Some have said it to me and some have tried to trick me into saying it to them..I think some people say the words without really meaning them.”
“Like me?”
“No Mac...I don’t think its easy for you to say the words either. I think you know how hard it is to say the words when you aren’t sure if the feeling is going to be returned. It’s a lot easier to say the words if someone else says them first...there are also different kinds of love. I love my mother and Frank and my grandmother... I can tell them I love them...but that’s not the same thing.
“I’ve loved you as a friend and partner for years, Mac...but that’s not the same thing either. When I said you had someone that would always love you I meant it. I will always love you as a friend and someone that has been a very important part of my life for many years through some important moments. I think the foundation is there for us to build the kind of love that we could build a future on...but we need to explore that part of our relationship. I want that Mac...I want to take the road we haven’t taken.”
Mac had turned so she could look at Harm as he spoke, his arm around her shoulders.
“Then why is it so hard for us to take that step, Harm?”
“Probably because we have been friends and have kept a distance between us because of our careers, we haven’t allowed ourselves the time or opportunity to explore a more intimate relationship.”
“Some people would say we’ve been intimate in some ways...we have slept together.”
“I’m talking physical intimacy Mac...the emotional intimacy isn’t an issue...we’ve always been able to talk about most anything...except us.”
“You know, I’ve never been sure you even noticed me as a woman...I mean we’ve exchanged a few kisses, but until you saw me in the bathtub in Paraguay and told me you had forgotten how beautiful I was, I wasn’t sure...”
“You’re kidding right?”
“No, Harm I’m not.”
“Wow...I was afraid if you knew how attractive I found you I’d be on the losing end of a kick-boxing demonstration.”
“You thought I’d do you bodily harm, if you said I looked nice?”
“No...I thought you’d kick my six from here to hell and back if you knew how much I wanted to hold you or kiss you or touch you...” Harm’s voice trailed off in a husky whisper.
Mac leaned into Harm as he leaned closer to her and lowered his head. He kissed her then. His lips claimed hers gently as he rubbed his lips over hers and then nibbled first the lower and then the upper lip before slipping his tongue between her lips to coax hers to part for him. Her lips then explored Harm’s. The kiss started out slow much like the kiss on the Admiral’s porch, but it lengthened, and deepened and become even more passionate in its exploration and demands then the kiss on the porch that night had been.
Slowly they parted as they gasped for air. Harm’s arms were around her and Mac’s arms rested against his chest with her hands locked behind his neck. They rested their foreheads against each other as they tried to get their breathing under control.
“Well, are you going to kick my six for that?” Harm asked in a soft voice that Mac found so sexy.
“Only if you don’t do it again...”
“I think I can manage that...” Harm grinned as he kissed Mac again. When he pulled back after the second kiss he chuckled. “I think our tea is cold. Shall I warm it up?”
“I think I’ll pass...it’s warm enough in here right now...” Mac grinned.
“Mac?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got to ask you something and I don’t want to upset you, but I’ve got to know...”
“What is it Harm?”
“Are you involved with Webb - or anyone?”
“I have gone out with Clay and I guess you would say we have been involved...but things with Clay have been pretty shaky...it took us eight months to become anything more then friends and then as soon as I had crossed that line I wished I hadn’t.”
“Mac...”
“Please, Harm...I need to tell you this if we are going to have a chance.”
“Alright. I’m listening...” his voice was velvet soft when he spoke.
“Harm, Clay kept making comments about how I was hiding behind the fact you weren’t available; and that you were too oblivious to notice what was in front of you; and that the only stable relationship I’ve had in my life is the one I’ve had with you.”
“How did it make you feel?”
“Like he was doing anything he could to drive a wedge between us...and yet I realized that he was right...and after the way you kissed me tonight I realize it even more.”
“What do you mean Mac?”
“You kept your distance from me out of respect, not disinterest, didn’t you?”
“Yes...remember the time I hit my head and called you “sweet thing”?” Harm couldn’t suppress a grin as he asked.
“Yes...what were you thinking?”
“That I wanted to make love to you...”
“You did?”
“Yes...that was the first time I let myself think about you as a beautiful sexy woman...I realized how much I wanted to make love to you.”
“Oh Harm...”
“We’ve wasted so much time...”
“Maybe not Mac...I don’t think we were ready before, but maybe we are now.”
“So how are we going to handle this new relationship?”
“I hope with tender loving care...”
“I mean with our friends...Mattie...the Admiral?”
“For now, at JAG, I think we just need to go back to being good friends and let the animosity go...but out of uniform, I want us to be natural around each other...hold hands...steal a kiss once in awhile...date and dance and when we are both ready to go further it will just happen and we’ll know it’s right.”
Mac stretched up and placed a light kiss on Harm’s lips. “I think you’re right.”
“Thank you...you inspire me, you know?” Harm whispered against her lips.
“I didn’t know...” Mac stopped and looked up as Mattie opened the door.
“Oh...uh...sorry, I should have knocked...” Mattie was blushing as she apologized for walking in as they were kissing.
“Mattie, it’s alright...Come sit down with us a minute.” Harm invited her. She came over and sat in the chair next to the couch. “Look Mattie...Mac and I have known each other a long time - you know that.”
“Yeah...”
“Well we care about each other and after all these years we want to try to make our relationship work. Are you okay with that?”
“I think it’s great Harm...Does this mean, we’ll get to see more of you Mac?”
“Probably.”
“Look, I don’t want to interfere...I was just going to get some ice cream...”
“Great idea,” Harm enthused. “Come on ladies, let’s have dessert.” Harm and Mac stood up and Harm reached for Mattie’s hand, leading them all into the kitchen.
The discomfort and embarrassment faded quickly as Harm and Mac included Mattie while the three of them tossed the cold tea, fixed hot chocolate and bowls of ice cream for four and returned to Jennifer and Mattie’s apartment for a late dessert.
2320 Local
Phone Call
“Rabb.”
“It’s me.”
“Every thing okay, Mac?”
“Yeah...thank you for a great evening.”
“Thank you.”
“Mattie really okay with us?”
“Yeah...she really likes you Mac.”
“I really like her.”
“I really like you Mac...”
“I really like you too, Harm.”
“See you in the morning?”
“I’ll bring the coffee.”
“I’ll bring the muffins...”
“Harm?”
“Yeah?”
“Good night.”
“Sweet Dreams, Tiger.”
One Week Later
JAG HQ
Falls Church, Virginia
“Captain Sebring, What brings you to Jag Ops today?” asked Admiral Chegwidden.
“Two of your senior attorneys, actually.”
“Rabb and Mackenzie?”
“The very same.”
“What have they done now?” asked Chegwidden with a sense of dread in his voice.
“As you know the case they’ve been assigned has been a tough one. Despite being opposing counsel, they handled some very difficult situations with diplomacy and tact. I hadn’t seen this from them before. I know Admiral Morris said that Mackenzie has been on the bench for him before as has Rabb to a lesser extent.”
“Yes, that’s true. Mac seems to enjoy the judicial while Harm prefers to do more investigation and litigation. What are you getting at?”
“As you know, my wife has been ill.”
“Yes, I know. Any improvement?”
“Unfortunately not. In fact, she’s getting worse. They only give her a few weeks to live.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ve asked for leave so that I can spend time with her while she’s here. Are things so that you could spare Rabb and Mackenzie to cover the bench for me. I know you’ve been operating short handed and I don’t want to be a burden on your staff...”
“It’s okay. I’m sure that Mac would enjoy another stint on the bench...and I will try my best to keep Harm off any cases she might be hearing.”
“What is with those two any way?”
“Love...”
“They are in love?”
“I think so...but they are both trying so hard to ignore it and pretend they don’t that they suck everyone into their drama with them...well until recently. I think they’ve finally given in.”
“If that’s the case, they maybe Mac will want to make the move permanent to judicial...”
“I doubt she’ll want to do that if it means more traveling.”
“Admiral Morris has arranged things to allow me to take most of the cases that are local so that I don’t have to be gone more then two or three days a month at most. I’m sure that he would be willing to do something similar for her if she was to have a family for example.”
“I’ll keep that in mind and will mention it to her if the topic comes up. Have Admiral Morris send me the schedule of cases he needs Harm or Mac to work and I’ll let them know tomorrow morning at staff meeting.”
“Thank you Admiral.”
Friday Morning Staff Meeting
JAG HQ Conference Room
Falls Church, Virginia
“Roberts, how’s your case load?” asked Admiral Chegwidden to start them off on updates.
“Commander Turner and I have just reached a settlement on the Landry case; I have one of Imes’ cases left to be heard and that’s scheduled for next Thursday. I’m ready to take on some new cases sir.”
“Very good. They’ll be coming your way shortly. Commander Turner, are you light as well right now?”
“No sir. Besides the Landry case that Lt. Roberts and I just settled on, I have two of Imes cases to be heard. One is scheduled for Monday the other for Thursday against Lt. Roberts. In addition I have a case on the docket starting Wednesday along with Colonel Mackenzie and two open investigations.”
“Commander Rabb - status please.”
“Aye, aye, sir. Colonel Mackenzie and I have settled both the Marshall case and Navy v West Tech Inc.; we have the Marchand case that we were assigned together which begins on Tuesday and I have two Article 32 hearings on the docket, one for Monday here and one on Wednesday at Norfolk. In addition I have three open investigations. We are waiting NCIS forensics on all three.”
“I see. Looks like you are rather booked yourself. Colonel?”
“I have the case with Commander Rabb beginning on Tuesday; the one opposing Commander Turner on the docket for Wednesday and I was working with Commander Rabb on some of the pending investigations.”
“Very well, Colonel. As of now you are relived of duty as my Chief of Staff and you are off the cases with Rabb.”
“Sir?” Mac looked at Admiral Chegwidden with alarm at his astounding statement.
“You Colonel Mackenzie are being sent TAD upstairs to judicial for the next 3 months. Please feel free to take your personal affects with you from your office. Captain Sebring will show you where you will be working and go over your new scheduled with you in eighteen minutes. Commander Rabb will be using your office while you are away and taking over Chief of Staff duties. Please arrange a time later today to bring him up to speed on any pertinent issues and work in progress he needs to know about. That will be all. Good luck Colonel. Dismissed.”
“Aye, aye, sir.” They watched Mac leave the conference room in stunned silence.
“Commander Rabb, as you heard you will be moving back into the Ops area and will be using Mac’s office. I have two new lawyers coming on board beginning Monday. Lt. Tyler Moore, USMC and Lt. Commander Carla Dawson, USN. Lt. Moore has never tried a case but has a good record working investigations. Major Dawson has a solid reputation in both investigations and litigations. Moore has been working in San Diego while Dawson has been in the Middle East theater rotating between front lines and advisory at our base in Italy. You will be reassigning Colonel Mackenzie’s cases as well as turning some of your cases over to them and to Lt. Roberts. Any questions?”
“No sir.”
“Enjoy your weekend people. Dismissed.” The Admiral picked up his papers and quickly left the conference room, while Harm, Sturgis and Bud stared at each other as they processed all that had just happened.
“Give me a few minutes to collect my thoughts and get organized in Mac’s office and then I’ll meet with each of you to go over the reassignments,” Harm instructed Bud and Sturgis. He was aware of them leaving and he took a deep breath and tried to run what had just happened through his mind again. He shook his head, squared his shoulders and stepped out of the conference room to face this latest shake up.
He dropped his things in Mac’s office on the filing cabinet, before picking up the current files on his desk in his own office, his brief case, laptop and cover. He returned to Mac’s office just as she returned from a brief meeting with Captain Sebring.
“Hey Mac, what’s going on?”
“Captain Sebring’s wife is getting worse and so he’s taking a leave of absence to spend time with her before its over. He had arranged to have his schedule keep him mostly local due to her health and Admiral Morris had no trouble with that. For now, I’ll have that schedule. Apparently Admiral Morris likes to travel and so does Judge Helfman. I’ll be covering some cases in Norfolk but most of my cases will be here.”
“What do you think of it Mac?”
“It will look good in my file, but I never thought I’d have a chance at the bench again after the thing with Sadik.”
“Mac you did a great job on the bench before. You might have made me mad, but it was only cause I was frustrated that you knew me so well. You know your stuff and you did a great job. You’ll be great.”
“What if you have to try a case before me again Harm?”
“I will try to keep my frustrations out of our relationship...you know, maybe we should let Admiral Morris and Admiral Chegwidden know that we have a different aspect to our relationship now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah...You let Morris know and I’ll fill in Chegwidden. Now about the Chief of Staff Duties...” Together they worked on reassigning cases and the pending arrival of the new staff. Mac had met them and told Harm a little about each one. She felt they were good people and they would both fit in to JAG.
“Mac, if you aren’t busy tonight, you want to join us for the Friday shopping frenzy and movie madness?”
“The what?”
“Mattie convinced me to take her and Jen shopping on Friday when I get home. They drag me around the mall showing me things they want or need. Then we hit the grocery store and finally pick out a movie before we go home to take out and the movies. Everyone usually falls asleep on the floor and I cover them with blankets and shut things off before I go back to my place about 0100 and get some sleep myself.”
“Sounds almost as good as a girls night.”
“I don’t think I want to know...”
“We do our nails and give each other manicures and pedicures and even a facial.” Mac grinned at the look of horror on Harm’s face. “I promised Mattie would we have a girls night the next time Chloe comes to visit.”
“Just let me know so I can make plans to be gone - far, far, away!”
“Chicken.”
“No...just want to maintain my sanity,” Harm grinned.
“Lost that long ago my friend.”
“Think so?”
“So do you want me to go to ride herd on the girls or to provide adult companionship?”
“Would you...go along to keep me company?”
“Sure...as long as I’m free to express my own opinions on things they pick-out.”
“Deal. Thanks Mac. I’ll pick you up at your place, so bring an overnight bag. Want to go running with me in the morning?”
“Sure...this could be fun.”
Friday 1745 Local
Harm’s Corvette
Between Georgetown and North of Union Station
“Smart move, Mac.”
“What?”
“Changing into comfortable clothes and walking shoes.”
“A necessity for going to the mall. Don’t you change?”
“Usually I don’t take the time, but I’m a little earlier tonight then usual, so I guess I will. Besides, I need to switch cars.”
“Good thing you decided to keep the Lexus.”
“Yeah...Hey Mac?”
“Yes?”
“Are you alright about being sent to Judicial and having Chief of Staff duties taken away?”
“Yes...why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, we had a big case we were going to be trying together and some investigations that we were working on together...”
“Harm, why would you think I would be upset about that? The Admiral reassigns cases or pulls one of us off a case now and then for all kinds of reasons.”
“Alright...if you are sure.”
“I am. I like sitting on the bench...much more then you did...even though you weren’t that bad.”
“Really? You think I did okay?”
“Harm, you are who you are. You are going to get to the truth and you are not going to let it go until you know the truth has been found...that’s why you are a good investigator and litigator...and why being passive on the bench doesn’t work for you. You knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to find the truth and because I was prosecuting you knew I’d have to disclose what I found. Was I happy about it? No. Was it the right thing to do? Yes. That’s what makes it so hard to stay mad at you sometimes.”
“Do you want to be mad at me Mac?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes that’s all I have as a defense.”
“Do you feel you need to defend yourself with me, Mac?”
“I guess that’s not coming out right, huh?”
“You tell me.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’ll get caught up in your charming larger then life personality and forget what’s real and what’s not.”
“And what’s not real?”
“I don’t know anymore,” whispered Mac. “But I wish I did.”
Harm reached one hand over to where Mac sat beside him and picked up her hand. “I think our connection is real, for one thing...and I’d like a chance to explore with you what else is real.”
“Me too.” Mac squeezed Harm’s hand back as he held it while he drove. They finished the trip to Harm’s apartment in companionable silence.
Dressed in black corduroy jeans and a gray sweater Harm and Mac collected Mattie and Jen and headed for the mall. They decided to stop and eat first instead of doing take-out later. Jen and Mattie took off to check out some sale items while Harm and Mac walked hand in hand looking at things in store windows until they got to the sale the girls had found. They found Mattie and Jen modeling skirts and tops that were on sale.
“Aren’t those kind of summery for the weather we’re having?” Harm asked.
“The idea is to get seasonal clothes on sale before you need them, Harm!” Mattie laughed at her guardian’s confused look.
“But you won’t be able to wear those outfits for at least a month or more.”
“Tell him Mac,” pleaded Jen and Mattie together.
“They are right Harm. It’s a great sale. People that wait will end up paying about twenty to thirty percent more if they wait a month to buy. The sale is for two days only.”
Harm gave Mac a skeptical look.
“It looks nice on you Mattie. That color is just right. Harm, if you think it’s something you can approve of Mattie wearing, then it would save you money to get it now.” Mac explained calmly while making sure she left the decision up to Harm.
“Alright, you can get it...”
“Thanks Harm!” Mattie flew into Harm’s body wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek.
“You’re welcome.”
After the girls went to change out of the outfits Mac looked at Harm and said, “If Mattie has you wrapped around her finger this much already, I can’t imagine what a pushover you’d be with your own daughter.”
“Think I’ll ever have my own daughter Mac?”
“I hope so...you’re doing pretty good as a ‘dad’...but I knew you would.”
Mattie and Jen rejoined them. They went to the check out and proceeded to the book store. Harm and Mac each made purchases there. They walked from one end of the mall to the other and back on the upper floor, before calling it a night and heading to the grocery store with the video section.
Mac expected Harm to be critical of every non-healthy item the girls looked at, but he surprised her when the grocery shopping trip turned out to be fun. It turned out that both Jen and Mattie loved several of the dishes Harm made for them and so Harm had given up on trying to cook tofu for them and they had given up on the high sugar items like breakfast cereals. Instead they went for fruits and vegetables and fancy salads. Harm stuck to ‘real’ food like chicken, fish and even pork. Mac almost fainted when Harm picked out a pot roast on his own.
“Harm, what are you doing?”
“The pot roast?”
“Yes.”
“About once a month I promised Mattie I would cook her favorite meal and it turns out she loves pot roast. I got my grandmother’s recipe and it met with her approval.”
“And when you make a promise, you’ll move heaven and earth to keep it won’t you?”
“I try Mac...I try.”
Groceries shopping complete, Mattie and Jen picked out the movies. Harm and Mac wandered over to see what they were going to be expected to endure. Mac grinned when she saw Mattie and Jen agreeing on “Bruce Almighty” figuring a good comedy would keep them all happy. Mattie then picked up the animated movie, “Finding Nemo.”
“Mattie...” Harm complained when he saw what she was holding.
“What? It’s suppose to be good.”
“It is Mattie. I watched it with Little AJ about two weeks ago. It’s his favorite. Why don’t you plan to watch it with him sometime...then Harm won’t have to whine all night,” Mac laughed.
“Mac!”
“What about this one?” Jen asked. She held out a popular action movie that was a sequel to “Matrix.”
They all agreed and once the Lexus was loaded with groceries and people they headed back to Harm’s place.
They quickly got the groceries put away. Mac and Jen fixed cocoa and popcorn and they all made themselves comfortable in front of the TV in the girls’ apartment.
Before the second movie was over, Mattie and Jen were asleep in their beanbag chairs and Mac was almost asleep leaning against Harm on the love seat. Harm stood up and pulled Mac with him. He covered Jen and Mattie with quilts, dropped a kiss on Mattie’s hair, turned off the TV and lights and let Mac and himself out. Harm held Mac’s hand and led her into his apartment.
“Want me to sleep on the couch or do you feel safe enough with me to share a comfortable bed?” Harm asked Mac as they entered his apartment.
“We can share. I’m too tired tonight for anything else.”
“Go ahead and get ready while I secure for the night.”
Mac grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and changed into her flannel nightgown. She was just crawling into bed when Harm stepped into the bedroom.
“I just assumed you’d want the right side...”
“Because of Paraguay?”
“Yes.”
“I can sleep on either side of the bed, Mac...so if you want the right side take it.”
“Actually I usually sleep on the left side when I’m not sprawled across the whole bed.”
“Me too...sprawled that is...Get in. I’ll be right back.”
Harm slipped out of his clothes, keeping his boxers and t-shirt on, brushed his teeth and joined Mac in bed. Harm leaned over Mac and smiled down on her. Slowly he lowered his head and lightly brushed his lips against hers.
“Night Mac...Sweet dreams.”
“You too, Harm.”
With that they settled down, found comfortable positions and slept.
Following Thursday
JAG HQ
Falls Church, Virginia
“Look Lt. Moore, we went in there with a game plan and you deviated from that plan and unless we can find something substantial to counter with, Marchand walks. So what do you suggest we do?”
“Me sir?”
“That’s right, you. You were the one that decided to follow that line of questioning after we had already discussed that we weren’t going there. What did you think you were going to get for information?”
“I don’t know Commander. It just seemed like he was hiding something and I wanted to know what it was.”
“Lt. Moore, the first thing you should have learned, is don’t ask a question when you don’t know the answer...not in the courtroom. During an investigation, deviating from a planned line is standard and solid technique. In the courtroom it can be devastating. Now, the witness said that he remembers seeing Marchand leaving the area carrying nothing and walking toward a woman and a child.
“This could raise doubt in the minds of the members by providing him with an alibi. We know from the forensics that he was at the scene of the crime and in fact was found in possession of some of the items taken from that warehouse. How are you going to refute that witness? You’ve got thirty-five minutes to come up with a plan. Dismissed.” Harm watched the young Lieutenant snap to attention, spin on his heel and leave.
Harm knew he was coming down on Tyler Moore heavy, but he wanted the young man to learn to think under pressure and to solve his own error. Harm knew exactly what approach he would take if Moore was unable to pull it out on his own. Slowly he lowered himself into Mac’s office chair and began scanning the messages on the desk.
“Hey Sailor...”
“Mac! How are you? I can’t believe I haven’t seen you all week.”
“I’m fine...you look a little frustrated.”
“Yeah, Lt. Moore is needing a little more guidance in the courtroom then I anticipated and almost blew the Marchand case for us this morning.”
“What happened?”
“Asked a question he didn’t have the answer to; got shook when the answer hurt our case; and froze on what else to ask. He has thirty-five minutes - make that thirty-one minutes left to find a solution and report back to me before we return to court.”
“You already know what to do though right?”
“Yes...” Harm grinned as Mac read him well. “But if he doesn’t have to think it through he’s not going to learn.”
“Good job Harm.”
“Thanks Mac. Hey how’s your week going?”
“Good. I heard pre-trial motions most of the day Monday; had an Article 32 hearing in Norfolk Tuesday; listened to domestic cases on Wednesday and have the Imes retrial with Turner and Dawson today.”
“How’s Dawson doing?”
“She’s solid Harm. Turner has his hands full and she’s as calm as can be.”
“This isn’t a woman’s solidarity thing is it?” Harm winked as he asked.
“No, you know better.”
“I do...I had to tease though.”
“So who’s got your case?”
“Helfman, again...Mac, what are you doing later?”
“How much later?”
“Say around 1800?”
“Nothing special. Why?”
“I haven’t seen you since Sunday and I thought it would be nice to spend some time together. Why don’t you join Mattie and I for dinner?”
“I’d like that. What can I bring?”
“You. It won’t be anything fancy - as a matter of fact it’s a take-out night.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Mattie has a meeting tonight and has practice this afternoon so she can’t get the casserole in the oven or anything. Do you mind?”
“Of course not. You want me to pick it up and meet you there...I know what time my day ends, Sailor.”
“Rub it in...”
“Really Harm, I don’t mind and then if court runs late like Helfman sometimes does, you won’t be so rushed and Mattie can get a meal before she goes.”
“Thanks Mac. Mattie’s ride picks her up about twenty of seven so things tend to be tight if I run late.”
“Got you covered, Harm.”
Harm reached into his wallet and took out some money and handed it to Mac. “I really appreciate this.”
“No problem. What does Mattie like?”
“Actually her tastes are pretty much like yours.”
“See you later, Harm.” Mac smiled and left her old office, glancing back for one more look at the man she loved.
1825 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
“I can’t believe Harm is this late, Mac. He always calls when he’s going to be late.”
“Mattie he knew I was coming and bringing dinner, and Helfman could still have him in court.”
“Really...I thought court had to end by five or something.”
“No...Judge Helfman often does pre-trial agreements in the morning before a trial, and then has sessions from ten to one and from three to six giving people two hours for a lunch break. Each judge is different on how they set their day and schedule and how full their docket is.”
“Wow...”
“Now eat so you’ll be ready to go. Harm will either call or get here soon, I’m sure.”
“Eat with me?”
“Sure Mattie.”
Mac and Mattie enjoyed their meal and were just finishing up when Harm came through the door.
“Hey...glad you didn’t wait.”
“How come you didn’t call?” Mattie asked.
“I decided to call from the cell phone so I could get on the road and the battery was dead.” He took out the phone and set it in the charger on his desk. “The car charger was in the Corvette and I had the Lexus. I’m glad you went ahead without me.”
“I’ll get your dinner for you Harm,” Mattie offered as she stood up from the table. “We kept it warm.”
“Thanks, Mattie. Let me go wash up...” Harm stepped up into the bedroom as he shrugged off his uniform jacket and put his cover on the shelf.
Mac picked up the dirty dishes she and Mattie had used and put them in the dishwasher, put on the kettle to boil, and watched Mattie set Harm’s dinner on the table. Mac knew Mattie liked the opportunity to fuss over Harm and that she didn’t get the chance very often. At the same time, Mac was aware that Mattie needed to get ready to go.
“Mattie, your rides going to be here.”
“Thanks Mac. Harm, I’ve got to go.”
Harm came down the stairs from the bedroom wearing his uniform shirt open at the neck and his uniform pants. His feet were bare. He hugged Mattie and dropped a kiss on her hair. “Check in when you get back?”
“I will. Night Mac...thanks for dinner and company.”
“See you later Mattie...and your welcomed.”
Mattie shut the door and Mac turned to see Harm sitting down at the table. “Want some tea?”
“Later I guess. Mac, thanks again for bailing me out.”
“You look like you’ve had a rough week.”
“It’s had it challenges.”
“Did Moore come through on his own?”
“No. I had to take over.”
“And?”
“I have closing arguments tomorrow and then we’ll see.” Harm took only a few bites before he put down the fork and reached for Mac’s hand. “I’ve missed you this week.”
“I’ve missed you too...Harm, you need to eat. You’re losing weight.”
“I’m okay. Besides I can afford to drop a few pounds.”
“You sleeping okay?”
“Yes. Are you?”
“Not bad. I slept great last weekend.” Mac’s voice was soft as she remembered how nice it had been sharing Harm’s bed both Friday and Saturday night. They hadn’t done anything besides hold each other and sleep but somehow they felt closer and more in tune because of it. Mac felt Harm lightly squeeze her hand in his.
Harm let go of her hand, stood up and took care of his plate and then moved to the sofa with his own tea. He sat on the edge and rotated his neck a few times trying to get the knots out. Mac saw him and stepped up behind him and sat on the back of the couch.
“Sit back Harm.” He sat up and felt Mac’s hands squeeze the muscles along the top of his shoulders and up into his neck. “Let’s see if we can get some of these knots out. Okay?”
“Mmm...” Harm closed his eyes and tried to relax under Mac’s ministration. “Feels good Mac.”
“Just relax...”
Harm had no idea how long Mac worked on the muscles in his neck and shoulders. He kept his eyes closed and let himself go to her touch. Eventually he became aware that his head was against her chest and her fingers were playing with his hair and tracing his ears. He also became aware of his body’s response to her touch. He wondered if she had noticed as well.
“Mac?”
“Yes.”
“I think I’d better sit up so you aren’t trapped back there.”
“I’m fine. Did the message help?”
“The massage did a lot for me Mac...thank you.” Harm grinned as she stepped from behind him and slid down to sit next to him. He looked down at her and realized that she must have had a similar reaction to touching him judging by what her sweater revealed...and he knew it wasn’t cold in his apartment tonight.
Harm shifted a little and lowered his head toward Mac while he softly said, “Thank you. It felt wonderful...you’re wonderful...” and then he kissed her. Their lips touched in feather soft caresses at first and then he leaned closer to intensify the kiss. While one hand caressed her face as he kissed her and then slid behind her head, the other began to stroke her leg, from knee to hip.
Mac lost herself in his kisses and touch. His size and weight didn’t intimidate or control her, but made her feel more feminine. She knew that she could get away at anytime, but she also had no desire to get away from him. In fact, she was finally where she had always wanted to be - in Harmon Rabb’s arms.
Harm placed one more kiss on Mac’s lips and then pulled himself up to sit beside her, and pulled her up to sit next to him. “You okay, Mac?”
“Yes...why wouldn’t I be?”
“I got a little carried away there I think.”
“I was enjoying being carried away, Harm.”
“Were you?”
“You couldn’t tell?”
“I was afraid I was reading your response wrong, I guess.”
“Harm...did you stop because you think I don’t want you or because you think I’m not ready or because you aren’t ready?”
“I’m not sure...maybe because I lost all track of time and didn’t want Mattie walking in on us...”
“Oh.”
“Mac, its pretty obvious I want you and I think you want me too.”
“Yes.”
“I just don’t want you to misunderstand why I want you. If we take that step, I want you to know that its not to try to fill the deal we made five years ago...”
“It’s not?”
“No...it’s because...”
“Hey Harm, I’m home!”
“Hey Mattie...”
“Hi Mac.”
“Hi Mattie.”
“Uh-oh...did I interrupt something again?” Mattie asked grinning.
“No...we were just talking. Come tell us how your meeting went.” Harm invited. He squeezed Mac’s hand. They both knew that the conversation had ended for now but they would resume it soon.
Mattie said that it had been a pretty good night as two of the girls had visited with their fathers and had reported back progress. Mattie had decided to invite her father to come watch her play volleyball, like one of the other girls had done. It had then given her something to talk about with her father that was safe.
“Harm, will you be able to make my game tomorrow?”
“I think so.”
“Mac, will you come too?”
“What time is it?”
“Starts at six.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Great...I think I’ll go call my father and invite him to the game.” Mattie hugged both Harm and Mac, said goodnight and left.
“I should go too,” Mac said as the door closed.
“I guess...stay tomorrow night?”
“Friday night shopping again?”
“No...not with the game. She goes out to eat with friends afterward and then to a movie. Gets home before midnight. We could go out to dinner at a grown-up restaurant if you’d like.”
“Sounds great...let’s see what kind of day we have.”
“Good idea.” Harm held her close and kissed her again. “Call me when you get home?”
“I will. Good-night Harm.”
1750 Local
En route
Washington DC Area
<ring>
“Colonel Mackenzie.”
“Mac? Can I pick you up to go to the Mattie’s game?”
“Where are you?”
“About three minutes away. I’ve been calling every few minutes since I left JAG.”
“I’ll be downstairs waiting for you.”
“Bye...”
Harm had no more then disconnected the call and set the phone down then he was turning up Mac’s street. He pulled up in the Lexus and she came down the front stairs of her building.
Mac opened the door and tossed her bag in the back and slid in. As she turned toward Harm to fasten her seat belt after having pulled the door shut, she found his faces inched from hers. She smiled as she leaned closer for his welcoming kiss.
Once they were on the road Mac commented, “That surprised me.”
“What?”
“The kiss.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“I know. I’ve missed you too, but I never expected that.”
“Well, my dear, you may be in for a few surprises.”
“Right. ‘‘My dear?’ When did you start with endearments?”
“I don’t know...it just seems right sometimes to use words like that...I won’t if you don’t like it.”
“No...I mean, don’t stop...I’m just not use to it...but I kind of like it.”
“That mean I can call you Tiger too?”
“Harm you are incorrigible!”
“Hey you call me Sailor and Flyboy...I thought Ninja Girl and Tiger would only be fair.”
“What about the ‘my dear’?”
“You get one of those for me too.”
“Really? How about ‘Pookey?”
“Pookey! At least ‘my dear’ is dignified. Try again...”
“Beefcakes?”
“Makes me feel like a boy-toy...”
“Handsome?”
“I suppose...”
“My love...”
“Am I?”
“I hope so.”
“I like it.”
“Okay, ‘my love’, where are you taking me to eat after Mattie’s game?”
“Well, ‘my dear’, I thought we could go to that little restaurant on the corner that we tried a few years ago. It’s under new management and is always busy. I’ve got reservations.”
“How did you manage that?”
“The owner’s daughter plays volleyball with Mattie and so his staff will accommodate us if the game goes longer then usual.”
Harm pulled into the parking lot at Mattie’s school. They got out and went into the gymnasium. Mattie’s father was sitting in the bleachers half way up and Mac and Harm joined him.
“Hey Tom. Glad you could make it.”
“Thanks Harm. Colonel Mackenzie.”
“Please, call me Mac. How’s it going Tom?”
“Rehab is going well. I was shocked when Mattie called me about coming to the game.”
“It was her idea Tom. Alateen seems to be helping her.”
“Thank you for getting her to go Harm.”
“Just planted the idea. She convinced herself to go.”
“She was afraid Harm wouldn’t forgive her for her attitude if she didn’t go, Tom,” Mac added with a smile.
2230 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm took Mac’s bag from her as well as his briefcase and cover, before reaching for Mac’s hand. He led the way to his apartment and let them in. After setting down his things, he pulled Mac into his arms and kissed her. She returned his kiss. When they broke apart, Harm began his assault on Mac’s senses by kissing and nibbling on her neck and ear, across her cheek and her eyes, down her nose and back to her lips.
Mac, tipped her head back to give him access, while she splayed her hands across his chest and then began working on the buttons of his uniform shirt.
“Harm...” her voice was little more then a whisper. “Why don’t you go change while I make some tea for us?”
“Don’t want tea...I rather sip on you.”
“Harm...I think we should talk before we continue this...”
“Mac...talking gets us into trouble.”
“Not talking this time could get us into trouble...please, Harm?”
“Okay, Tiger...tea and talk.”
Harm let go of her and went to his bathroom to change into sweat pants and a sweatshirt. When he returned, she had tea ready for them. They sat on the couch together and sipped tea in silence for a few minutes. Finally Mac started the conversation she felt they must have.
“Harm...I think I know where we are heading tonight and I just want you to know that I um - this is hard to say.”
“You’ve been with someone since you were tested?”
“Yes and no...I’ve been tested but the results aren’t back. I’m sure its okay but I don’t want to take a chance, so I think we should use protection for two reasons.”
“Two reasons...disease and pregnancy?”
“Yes...Harm, as much as I would like to have your child, I want us to be sure and be in a committed relationship before we start a family. We need to think about setting an example for Mattie too.”
“You’re right. Will you be mad if I tell you that I got some so that in case we decided to take this step we would be prepared?”
“Why would I be mad that you were looking out for me and taking responsibility? I think its sweet.”
“Thanks Mac. So do we need to talk about more tonight?”
“No. I’m all yours Harm...”
Harm swept her up in his long arms, carried her to the bedroom and proceeded to make love to her. They were cuddling in bed when Mattie came to the door and knocked to let Harm know she was home before curfew. He slipped on his robe and opened the door for her. After chatting to Mattie for a few seconds, she wished him good-night and went onto bed.
“Won’t she think it strange that you didn’t really let her in?”
“No...when she’s gotten back late like that I’ve been in bed and asleep before so I just go say good-night and go back to bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and smiled, “but it’s much nicer coming back to you.”
Saturday 1000 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac had just returned from their morning run. While Mac showered, Harm looked through the mail he had picked up. There was an envelope from Children’s Services. He tore it opened and took out the letter inside.
This is to inform you that the custody hearing for Mathilda Grace Johnson has been set for April 1, 2004 at 2:00 PM at the Virginia State Courthouse. The following will be reviewed regarding your care of the minor, Mathilda Grace Johnson:
Education
Housing
Discipline
Health
Safety
Emotional Well-being
You may bring no more then three witnesses to testify on your behalf in regards to these issues.
If you do not appear, then custody will be revoked and the minor child will be placed in a home deemed appropriate by the court.
Harm just sat there and stared at the letter. The judge had said six months and it had only been three. The social worker that had been to visit them twice in that time had only been here two weeks ago and had not said anything in this regard. In fact, he had been worried because of the housing situation and the fact that he had not found them a house as yet. He wasn’t ready to let Mattie go. He knew someday it would happen, but he wasn’t prepared yet. It was too soon. How was he going to tell Mattie?
“Harm? What is it?” Mac had returned from her shower dressed in jeans and a gold top to find Harm sitting at his desk with a letter in his hands and tears on his face. “Harm?”
“I’m losing Mattie...”
“What?” Mac couldn’t believe her ears and took the letter that Harm held out to her. She read the letter and then relaxed.
“Harm, this doesn’t mean you are going to loose Mattie.”
“I think it does. It was suppose to be six months and its only been three. I haven’t found a house for us yet. Tom Johnson is doing well at Rehab and Mattie is even starting to accept him again.”
“Harm, you’ve been good for Mattie. You have given her a safe home and a family of sorts. You are looking for a home and you have made offers but someone made a better offer each time. She’s going to school and her grades are good. Even her teacher has backed off because she can’t argue Mattie’s work ethic or intelligence. Mattie is playing sports and attending Alateen. You have fostered her relationship with her father even though it has upset Mattie. She has not gotten in trouble; she follows the curfew you set for her; you’ve got her eating healthy foods; and I know she feels safe and secure. Stop worrying.”
“I hate to tell her about this.”
“Be honest with her Harm...”
“I know. It’s just I hate to upset her.”
“You want me to tell her with you?”
“I can’t ask you to do that Mac.”
“You’re not asking - I’m offering.”
“Then I’ll take you up on it. I guess I’d better shower and change first.”
“I left you some hot water Squid.”
“Hey - that’s not on the approved list of endearments!”
“Okay - you can add ‘Jarhead’ because I’m not giving up Squid when I need it.”
Harm planted a kiss on her lips before disappearing into the bedroom and bathroom.
Mac started making pancake batter and dicing fruit while Harm showered. Mattie knocked on the door and Mac let her in.
“Hey Mac.”
“Morning Mattie. Have fun last night?”
“Yeah. Did you?”
“It was great watching you play volleyball. That was quite the spike move you have. I’m surprised Harm hasn’t tagged you with that nickname.”
“Oh he tried and I scowled at him so he stopped.”
“Why? It’s cute.”
“I don’t do cute well, Mac.”
“I know what you mean. But I have some names I like to call him so I negotiated them.”
“What do you mean?”
“He gets to call me Marine so I can call him Sailor. He gets Tiger and I get Flyboy. And just this morning I got Squid and he got Jarhead.”
“Like when I call him Harmon after he calls me Mathilda?”
“Yeah.”
“So, if I let him call me Spike I get to call him something.”
“Yeah...any nicknames you want to give him?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I could get a way with any of them.”
“Like what?”
“Jerk, Bully, Spoilsport, Idiot...”
“Makes you mad sometimes does he?”
“Yeah...”
“Join the crowd. Does he always make you mad?”
“No! Sometimes I just wish he was really my dad.”
“Mattie...”
“I know...but I just don’t trust my father...I trust Harm.
“Even though you don’t have fun sometimes doing what he expects or because he makes you mad?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you think that is Mattie?”
“I can trust him.”
“What if he says he’s going to be somewhere and he has to back out because he’s taken a case that requires he travels?”
“He doesn’t just disappear...he calls and says that plans have to change.”
“And your dad didn’t do that?”
“No.”
“Did you trust Harm right away or did you have to learn to trust him?”
“I had to learn.”
“And you don’t think you can learn to trust your dad again?”
“No...because Harm had never lied to me and we were starting with a clean slate. My dad had let me and my mom down before he got drunk and killed her and then took off after dumping me with his family that I didn’t even know.”
“Mac? Mattie? What’s going on?” Harm asked as he returned from his shower.
“Mac and I were just talking about why I learned to trust you and it’s so hard for me to trust my dad.”
“Oh...” Harm looked at Mac and she shook her head to indicate that she had not mentioned the pending court date. “Mattie, I got a letter from the Virginia Court today.”
“Why?”
“They’ve set a hearing for April 1 instead of July...”
“Are they going to take me away? I won’t go! I hate him! I’ll run away! ”
“Mattie, calm down...Mattie...remember I told you there is a fine line between love and hate?” Harm took the frantic teenager in his arms and held her, resting his chin on the top of her head. He felt her nod her head yes as he held her. Mac stood next to them rubbing Mattie’s back to calm and reassure her as well.
“Mattie we don’t know why they moved the court hearing up three months, but they are going to be getting reports from your school, the doctors, the counselor, your father’s rehab center, the social worker and I’ll go as one of Harm’s ‘witnesses’ as he can bring three people to speak on his behalf.”
“Mac, it might be better if you went as my attorney and we found three other people that weren’t as close to Mattie and I as you’ve become.”
“We can ask Jennifer, Andre’s mother and father, and maybe the Admiral,” offered Mattie.
“We can think about it and plan our strategy, but I think we need to find a house before the court date if we can. I actually have a couple of places to visit today. Everybody up for house hunting?”
It was agreed that after brunch they would go check out the houses and see if one of them would be right for them. While Mattie was gone to get her things Mac asked Harm a question.
“What are you going to do if you find a house and then the court doesn’t let Mattie stay with you?”
“First I am determined to stay positive here. Secondly, I hope it’s the kind of place that I can be happy in if things don’t work out the way I want.”
“So what do you want?”
“A wife and children and to have Mattie be a part of that family.”
“Children, huh? Sounds like you want to have more then one baby.”
“I think it would be nice to have at least two...”
“That wasn’t in our deal...” Mac grinned at Harm.
“But if it was amended we could have one that looked like you and one that looked like me...”
“I can live with that.”
“Good...then you better have a say in what house I buy...”
Harm grinned at Mac and took her in his arms to hug her just as Mattie returned.
“Hugging and kissing again?” Mattie teased as she saw them together. “Why don’t you two get married?”
“We’re thinking about it,” Harm grinned never taken his eyes off of Mac.
Mattie watched the two of them together and swore later to Jennifer that she could see the love radiating from the two of them every time they looked at each other all day.
Saturday afternoon Mac joined Mattie and Harm on a house hunting expedition. Mattie explained to Mac, what they were hoping to find. “We want something we can move into, but something we can have fun working on to fix up and make better. If we find something all shiny and new with no personality it may look great but won’t have any personality with it.”
“You bring your own personality to your home,” Mac told them.
“You can, but it takes time. It will be better to find a house with a personality that matches or that can be refitted to match us by repainting or papering or redoing it some how. And Harm is such a perfectionist judging by the way he did the loft, that it will improve the resale value of the home if Harm ever needs to sell it. It can be an investment for the future. Right Harm?”
“Right Mattie. You explained that better then I could.”
“So what are some features that you are looking for?”
“Five or six rooms in the house and at least two bathrooms. A finished basement would be good so we could set it up as a fitness area and a laundry.”
“Five or six rooms? You mean bedrooms?”
“No Mac, five or six rooms that could be done as bedrooms, office, living room, dining room...you know.”
“As in total rooms...”
“Yeah, to give us some flexibility.”
“Are you looking at one story or two story homes?”
“Either...but a garage would be nice.”
“So Mac...what do you think important features are in a house?”
“Dishwasher, bath tub, fireplace, closets...that’s what I would be looking for...and maybe a porch.”
“Why a porch, Mac?” Mattie asked not realizing that this is what Mac had been hoping for.
“They are friendly and romantic and fun to decorate and because sometimes it’s a great place to open and up talk to friends.”
“Wow...Harm said he hoped we could find a place with a porch too...for almost the same reasons.”
“Mattie...” Harm cautioned. He and Mac had made progress but he didn’t want the past to jump up and stop their forward momentum they had finally made.
“What do you know about the houses we’re going to see today?” asked Mac.
“One is about twenty years old with original paint and paper so it looks dingy, dated, and a bit shabby. It’s a two story with garage not attached and has a fenced yard area. It has a porch too.”
“Sounds decent.”
“They all do...its when we get to see them that problems start. All the stuff they don’t tell you becomes obvious...like leaky roofs, dry rot, fire damage, and so on.”
“And the other place?”
“She said it’s a one story house that looks like it belongs in Mexico...but assures me it has everything we are looking for and then some.”
They arrived at the two story house first. The garage was a two bay building with storage space above and a covered area attached almost like a third bay. It was only a short distance from the side door on the garage to the house. Both buildings were in need of a coat of paint or siding as the gray paint was chipping and peeling.
The porch ran along the front of the house and one side. A door was visible on one side as well as in the center of the house. They entered through the side door. The home owners were gone, but still living there. The realtor said that they were actually in the process of moving into their new place. The boxes stacked and piled in every room supported this claim.
The down stairs consisted of the kitchen, dining room, living room, and a room that could be used as a bedroom or office with a full bathroom off of it.
“The homeowners used this as their master bedroom,” explained Melissa Ayers. The relator that was showing them around. “Shall we look upstairs?”
Mattie went ahead, followed by Mac, Harm and Melissa.
“Wow! This isn’t bad...”
Mac and Harm saw it too. At the top of the stairs was an alcove with a window and sitting area with a hall running parallel to the stairs on each side. Off each hall were three doors-two bedrooms and a shared bathroom. Although the four rooms were smaller then the ones downstairs, each room had a full closet as well.
“These rooms could be used as bedrooms, offices, or even done up as little efficiency apartments with a little work.”
“The alcove could almost be set up like an office as well or a study area.” Mac found herself getting as excited as the Mattie over the possibilities with this house.
Mac and Mattie watched as Harm inspected around windows and underside of sills; outer wall seams; the bathroom plumbing fixtures, the heating elements, and all the little things that Mac hated to admit she would never have thought to look at.
Harm led the way back downstairs and then onto the basement. He found not only a space suitable for a fitness room, but a game room and utility area with a washer, dryer, folding table, drop-down ironing board, and a sewing machine table. While Mac and Mattie talked about decorating issues and practical needs, Harm once again looked at the mechanical and structural assets of the house.
They moved up stairs again to the main floor while Harm inspected the kitchen and bathroom more thoroughly. When he was satisfied he looked out of the dining room window onto the back yard and then moved out to the porch to inspect for signs of leakage and rotting.
“Its pretty run down,” Harm commented to no one in particular. Mattie and Mac exchanged looks each feeling a sense of disappointment at Harm’s reaction. “I guess we should probably look at the other place,” Harm suggested.
Once in the car, Mac and Mattie sat quietly until Harm said, “Can’t let on how much I like the place or the price will go up.” Then Mac and Mattie started to grin and exchanged excited smiles.
“So we are going to look at this other place because...”
“It might even be better...and to not tip our hand too much.”
“So that house is really okay?” asked Mattie.
“Only cosmetic problems that I could see...but there are plenty of those.”
They arrived at the other place and exchanged looks as they began to understand why they had been told that the house looked like it came from Mexico. IT was a beige like stucco exterior with windows that were set in so that on first glance it almost appeared to be just openings - with no glass. The roof was flat and the there was an attached garage with one bay. There was a patio like area before you entered the house which had been build with a central living space with rooms and halls going off of it forming a square. There were several skylights which made the place light and airy and some ceiling fans.
After inspecting the place as thoroughly as he had the first one, Harm announced that this one did not meet his needs.
“Do you want to look at some other places? I have a few more that I could probably call and get us into today?”
“Well, I don’t have a lot of time today. Look, what are they asking for the two story that we just looked at?”
The relator told Harm what they were asking but also informed him that they really wanted to sell so there was some room to negotiate.
“They are down-sizing due to their age and the fact that their family is basically grown-up and gone. They house fell into rough shape when they hit some rough times and didn’t have money to redo the place themselves.”
“Then I think I’d like to make an offer on that house,” Harm stated. “When did you say it would be available?”
“They hope to be out completely in about two weeks.”
“Great. You have the paperwork with you?”
“I do. Let me get it.”
Mac slipped her hand into Harms and squeezed it. “Think you could live in that house Mac?”
“Yeah.”
“I know it doesn’t have a fireplace, but we can put in one like I did in my loft. You are going to help with decorating ideas aren’t you?”
“Try and stop me, Sailor.”
“Wouldn’t think of it Tiger,” Harm smiled and dropped a quick kiss on her nose as the relator returned.
Together they filled out the paperwork quickly as Harm was somewhat familiar from having helped Harriet when she bought her house. One they were back in the car and on the road, Mattie began asking questions.
“So what happens next? How long does it take?”
“We wait, but as for how long, it depends. She could call us later today or it could be a week. I wrote in that the offers is good for seven days only.”
“But Harm...”
“Mattie they could drag it out longer and I want them to know if I have to wait I’ll find something else or my offer goes lower.”
“Does that work?”
“Usually...especially when they want to sell and a place has gotten so run down - on the surface at least. There are a few things that need repair, and I’ll do it as part of the remodeling. Someone else might expect them to do the work and pay for it before the house sells.”
“Wow...how did you learn all this - helping Harriet?” Mac asked.
“Some...but mostly from a course I took.”
That evening, as Harm and Mac cuddled on the couch and Mattie looked through magazines at decorating ideas, the phone rang. Harm had grabbed the phone and set it next to him before he and Mac had settled in. She had frowned when he had picked up the phone but Harm had just grinned when he set it beside him.
Now Mac was glad it was there and she didn’t have to move much for Harm to answer the phone.
“Rabb.”
“Yes, this is Melissa Ayers. They have accepted your offer on the house.”
“Great...thank you. When do we meet for the next step?”
“If you’d like to come by the office tomorrow afternoon about two o’clock we can finish the paperwork and get the process started.”
“I’ll see you then.” Harm set the phone down. “It’s ours! They accepted the offer and I have to go do more paperwork tomorrow and make my deposit. Then they can start the title search and submit paperwork to the bank for financing. I’ve already gotten a preliminary approval for the mortgage so it should cut the time from about six weeks down to two or three weeks. Better start packing!”
“Will you do some redecorating before you move in?”
“Painting at least and probably the floors will get done. The rest of it can wait until we are in.”
“So how will we decide who gets which room and I suppose you get the final say of redecorating ideas,” Mattie remarked to Harm.
“Which room you want, Spike?” Harm asked.
Mattie growled at Harm for the use of the nickname trying to come up with one of her own for him, “You really drive me crazy sometimes, you know...Pops!”
Mac and Harm burst out laughing at Mattie’s face as she realized that she had tagged Harm with a nickname finally.
“Pops? How did you come out with Pops?”
“I don’t know...the guy that use to own Grace Aviation before my Mom bought it was called Pops and he always was so aggravating the way he didn’t answer questions and doubled checked everything...”
“Then I’ll wear that nickname with pride...Pops was a good guy.”
“Hey Mattie...if he’s really bugging you - you could change it to Popeye - he is a sailor!”
“Hey! No help from the peanut gallery!” Harm pretended to be upset as Mac and Mattie burst out laughing.
Mac looked up at Harm and they exchanged a quick kiss. Mattie grinned at the two of them. Things were finally going right in her world. She didn’t want to think that the pending court hearing could take that all away.
April 1 1400 Local
Family Court
Alexandria, Virginia
Harm, Mattie and Mac sat quietly together at the table on the left facing the judge. At the table on the right were representatives from Child Protective Services.
They all rose as the judge was announced. Harm and Mac were relieved to see the same judge that had allowed Harm temporary custody in December thanks to Mac’s intervention. They took their seats again at her direction.
The judge looked at her notes and then looked up at Mattie.
“Miss Grace, I believe, how are you?”
“Fine thank you, Ma’am.”
“We are here today somewhat sooner then originally planned because some of the preliminary reports have indicated that not knowing who you belong to is creating some concerns. Does this sound accurate to you?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Would you care to tell me in your own words how things are going and what you think should happen and why?”
Mattie politely stood as Harm and Mac had instructed her too. “Yes, Your Honor. Since I’ve been with Harm, I’ve learned that there are people in the world I can trust. It doesn’t always mean I am happy with things, but I know I can trust Harm to be honest with me. He tells me the truth even if that truth makes me mad.”
“Can you give me an example?”
“Yes, Ma’am. I was avoiding calls from my father and he called Harm. Harm invited him to come for supper one night. He told me he would be right there with me and he told me I could handle it. I questioned whether he could handle it or not. When my father came over I wasn’t very nice to him. Harm offered to give him a ride back to the Center and when my father stepped out, Harm told me I hadn’t been very nice to him. I told Harm that I had more fun before I met him. He left to take my father back and the next day he suggested I might like to try Alateen to give me a place to work through things with other kids like me. I agreed and tried to make a deal that I would think about it if he would forgive me for being a brat. He agreed and then said he forgave me what ever I decided. He was just trying to help me make good decisions.”
“I see. Does he take an active interest in your school work?”
“Yes. He checks my work for me, especially the math and if he finds an error he shows me where it is and makes me work through it to find out what I did wrong.”
“Are you making friends in this school?”
“Yeah, I am. At first I made friends because they saw the Naval officer bringing me to school and they were kids interested in the military. Then I met kids when I made the volleyball team. And now I’ve gotten to know others through Alateen.”
“And does Commander Rabb show interest in your activities?”
“Yes...he comes to my games whenever he can...most of the home games.”
“As he left you alone since you’ve been with him?”
“Excuse me?”
“Commander Rabb said he would make sure you were never alone in this world again. Has he done that?”
“Yes Ma’am...I kind of have a big sister that I’ve shared an apartment with and she’s stepped in a couple of times when Harm was called away because of the Navy.”
“Did this create some confusion for you?”
“The first time he was called away for a couple of weeks but he called me often and I could always call him on his cell phone and at least get a message to him. He hadn’t been home long when he got sent to a carrier n the Mediterranean and it was when I was having trouble with one of my teachers. Harm couldn’t be there and Jennifer went for him to explain to my teacher that he had been called away and she managed to get the teacher to reschedule the meeting. Harm was able to be there for that one and things got worked out. During that time I was feeling sorry for myself and I asked him who was my guardian. He made sure I knew it was him and I’ve never doubted it again.”
“And Jennifer is your ‘big sister’ you mentioned?”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“What do you think of the living situation you are in?”
“Well...I wanted to live in the apartment by myself and Harm wouldn’t allow it. Instead he discovered that Jennifer needed to find a different living situation and he introduced us. We hit it off right away and now I like it. Of course that will change soon.”
“Why is that?”
Mattie glanced at Harm and he nodded. “We found a house!”
“When was that?”
“About two weeks ago we found it and they accepted the offer. We had looked at other places before that but things didn’t work out. But now we have a place and when we finish working on it we’ll be able to move in.”
“This is new information.”
The woman from Child Protective Services spoke up. “Yes, Ma’am. We were notified this morning that housing had been obtained and we have a tentative moving date established two weeks from now.”
“Are they any other significant changes that I should be made aware of?”
“Yes, Ma’am. In December Commander Rabb reported that there was no ‘significant other’ in his life. He informed us this morning when he called regarding the housing situation that he was pleased to report that he does now have someone else in his life that will be able to play a major role in Mattie’s life as well.”
“And this person it?”
“Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, Ma’am.”
The judge turned to look at the woman seated next to the Commander. “The same Colonel Mackenzie that testifies on his behalf in December and that is seated as his lawyer today?”
“Yes Ma’am,” answered Harm with a grin.
“Well Commander, it seems that your life has really changed in the past three months. How do you feel about this?”
“Awe-struck, Your Honor.”
“Please explain.”
“Well in December I was focused on what Mattie needed. I knew there were things missing in my life but I felt that if I could focus on helping Mattie who needed me then eventually I could deal with my own life. Being responsible for Mattie has shown me that I needed to readjust my priorities and I needed to look at things with a wider prospective and then focus on the details as well. I learned that its okay to ask for help and to want or need something to help you over life’s ups and downs. I’ve learned that thinking things through before I speak is important and I’ve learned to think quick on my feet in dealing with more personal issues. She asked me one time what I got out of having her in my life and I said ‘her’...but I’ve also gotten an education and I’ve learned to be a better person as a result. I’ve also found happiness.”
“Very well...Colonel Mackenzie, you played an instrumental role in this arrangement from the beginning. I know you are here to act as Mr. Rabb’s lawyer, but given your role, I would like to hear your take on the situation.”
Mac stood and faced the judge. “Your Honor, I was fortunate enough to be included in some of the ‘family’ times Harm and Mattie have shared with other family and friends. I’ve gotten to know Mattie and I have become very attached to her as well. I know that one of the reasons that Harm became attached to Mattie is because of me...her childhood and mine were similar. Harm couldn’t do anything to fix what I had been through. But he could do something to make sure that Mattie didn’t fall into the same traps I did.
“Both of us however have come to know Tom Johnson, Mattie’s father. We know he is trying to get his life together and as much as we do not want to lose Mattie we do not want her to lose her father. She already has lost her mother. While we feel strongly that Mattie needs a stable environment we also feel that if she does not trust the adults in her life, she will not be able to get through the emotional baggage and live life to her potential.
“Harm makes Mattie deal with issues and encourages her to find safe ways to include her father in her life. He has told her she needs to work as hard at getting to know him again as he has at rebuilding his life. He puts Mattie’s best interest first, even when it breaks his heart.”
“Thank you Colonel Mackenzie. Bailiff, I understand we have some people that have agreed to speak on behalf of Commander Rabb.”
“Yes your Honor.”
“Please show them in one at a time and announce them when they enter.”
The man stepped out and returned to announce Jennifer Coates.
“State your relationship to the case and make your statement,” instructed the judge.
“Yes, Ma’am. Petty Officer Jennifer Coates. I am Mattie’s roommate and I work with the Commander and Colonel at JAG. I have seen Commander Rabb learn to struggle parenting responsibilities with his duties as an officer and assignments he has been given. Our Commanding Officer does his best to work around family obligations but sometimes it is not possible. Commander Rabb always tells Mattie when he has to leave and makes sure he can be reached no matter where he is. He’s probably harder to get to when he’s home and in the court room then he is when he’s half way around the world.
“I can speak first hand to the positive influence that Commander Rabb can have on one’s life. If it hadn’t been for him and Colonel Mackenzie I’m sure that I would have ended up on the wrong side of the law and in jail. They removed the chip on my shoulder - or most of it at least- by wearing it away by making me feel included and cared for and important. They have pointed out choices I have and then supported me when I’ve needed it. They also trusted me to help with Mattie.”
“You keep referring to ‘they’?”
“Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie, Ma’am.”
“But we are deciding the issue of custody in reference to Commander Rabb, only.”
“Yes, Ma’am...but Colonel Mackenzie is an important part of the Commander’s family and its pretty hard to look at one without the other.”
“I see. Thank you, Petty Officer Coates. You may be seated. Bailiff, the next witness please.”
“Thomas Johnson.”
Harm, Mac, Mattie, the people from Protective Services and the judge all stared in disbelief as Mattie’s father stepped into the courtroom. The judge recovering first spoke up.
“Mr. Johnson, you as Mattie’s father will have an opportunity to speak. I was told there were witnesses here to speak on Commander’s Rabb’s behalf and we are hearing their statements now.”
“Yes, Ma’am. I understand and I have told the others that after I speak, they may not be needed. That’s why they let me move ahead of them.”
“Alright Mr. Johnson this is highly unusual, but I’ll hear what you have to say. Go ahead.”
“Thank you, Your Honor. I appreciate the fact that you allowed Mattie to stay with Commander Rabb after I withdrew my objection. Since that time I spent two months confined to the Rehab Center and I did not drink. Harm and Colonel Mackenzie, Mac, stayed in touch with me and encouraged Mattie to call me and come see me. She refused. When I was able to leave the Center for an evening, I was invited to have supper with Mattie and Harm. Mattie didn’t want me there and I soon learned that I had to do more to regain her trust and love then just stay sober.
“It was way more difficult then I had thought. I have found myself turning to Harm and Mac for pep talks when things were tough. Harm continued to push the issue with Mattie and she even got angry with him because he told her that it was important for her to deal with things then to ignore them. He helped Mattie by encouraging her to go to Alateen for support. He has never come between Mattie and me...he’s only supported us both.
“Mattie has finally started to talk to me a little about school and she even has invited me to her volleyball games. Its given us safe things to talk about. Neither of us are ready to deal with the bigger issues but I don’t want to loose her forever by rushing things. I am proud of Mattie and I love her. I love her enough to let her go. Your Honor, I will do whatever is necessary so that Harmon Rabb can be Mattie’s legal guardian and custodial parent. If it will help Mattie to trust me and someday forgive me for taking away her mother, then I will give her to Harmon Rabb. It doesn’t give her back her mother, but it does give her a father she can respect and trust and family of sorts that loves her unconditionally.”
All eyes had been on Tom Johnson when he spoke. Mattie looked at Harm with tears in her eyes and back to her father and then to the judge.
Mac thought that the judge even had an extra shine to her eyes as she turned to the people from Protective Services. “You have just heard the father of Mathilda Grace say he is willing to give his daughter up to Harmon Rabb. Is there any reason that this should not be allowed to happen?”
“No, Your Honor. Commander Rabb meets with our approval based on home visits, interviews with teachers and medical personnel, the psychologist and Alateen Counselor as well as Mattie’s own feedback.”
“Mattie, how do you feel about this?”
“Does this mean that I can live with Harm until I’m eighteen and no one is going to make me go back and live with my father or a bunch of strangers?”
“Yes. Your biological father has agreed to relinquish all parental rights if it will make you happy.”
“Does this mean I am being adopted by Harm?”
“It means you could be, or you could remain his ward. I would suggest that you discuss that matter at a later time. Do I take it that you would like the court to grant Commander Rabb permanent custody of you?”
“Yes Ma’am!” Mattie smiled then barely able to contain herself.
“Then this court grants permanent custody to Harmon Rabb Junior of the minor Mathilda Grace Johnson. All parties will need to see the court clerk to sign off on the appropriate forms. Congratulations! Court dismissed.” The judge rose and left the area, while Mattie launched herself into Harm’s arms for a hug. Mac, Tom Johnson, Jennifer Coates and even the people from Protective services watched with tears in their eyes.
Harm set Mattie back on her feet and smiled down at her. “Mattie, you need to speak to your father...”
“I know...” she turned to Tom Johnson then and swallowed. “Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy for you. Harm says there is a fine line between love and hate. While I still hate you for taking my mother away, I do love you for giving me to Harm. I heard what you said, about letting me go because you love me. Thank you...”
“Be happy Mattie...and if I can ever help you I will.” At that Tom Johnson left the court room. They found out later he had stopped by the clerk’s office and signed the necessary paperwork and left. They hoped he was okay.
Harm and Mac hugged while they watched Mattie talk to Tom Johnson and then opened their arms to Mattie when she turned back to them.
“Well, I guess I’d better go...”
“Jennifer, you’re going to join us for dinner later aren’t you?” asked Harm.
“Well...”
“Please, we want to celebrate and I’m taking everyone out to eat. We’ll meet back at the loft about 1830. That’s an order.”
“Yes, sir,” Jen grinned. “Congratulations Mattie.”
“Thanks, Jen. I’ll talk to you later.”
Harm, Mac and Mattie went to the clerk’s office and twenty minutes later, they were given copies of the papers that stated that Mathilda Grace Johnson was now the ward of Harmon Rabb Junior. The uneasiness of not knowing when the arrangement would be forced to end was gone.
2330 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac sat together on the couch, his arms around her and her hands on his at her waist.
“What time is it?”
“Twenty three thirty.”
“I can’t wait for it to be midnight.”
“Why’s that?” Mac turned to look up into Harm’s face.
“Because they maybe I’ll stop thinking that someone is going to tell me that today was a giant April Fool’s Day joke.”
“It’s real, Sailor. Mattie belongs to you now and no one can take her away. What did she say when you mention adoption?”
“She was worried I would be upset, but she doesn’t want to go that route. She wants to keep her identity as Mathilda Grace and the only thing she wanted to do was petition the court to legally change her name. I told her that I would consider that but only if she told Tom up front. She agreed that she would call him about it.”
“Are you alright with that?” Mac asked.
“Yes. I would adopt her if she wanted me too, but I think she made a smart decision. She doesn’t need any further identity issues. Mac...there’s something I wanted to talk to you about after midnight...”
“That sounds spooky...”
“I just don’t want you to think I’m joking.”
“You really are hung up on the fact that’s its April Fool’s Day aren’t you?”
“I guess...”
“Only eight minutes to go Harm...how would you like to spend the time?”
“I think I can think of a few things.”
“Oh?” Mac tried to act surprised.
Harm growled in her ear and lifted her into his arms as he began placing kisses along her neck and under her ear.
“Mmm, is this what you had in mind?” Mac teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing him back while she ran her hands over his chest and shoulders, cover in a striped cotton workshirt.
“It will do...” Harm muttered as he started making love to Mac on his couch. After a few minutes, he eased Mac away from him and sat up. “Mac, I know that we’ve had our ups and downs over he last eight years...”
“Yes we have.”
“...But we’ve always cared about each other even when we’ve been angry.”
“...because of the fine line between love and hate...”
“...and I love you now but there have been times when I’ll admit I hated you for what you’ve done or said when it came to us.”
“Can you forgive me for my bad moments?”
“Yes. Can you forgive all of my bad moments?”
“Yes.”
“Mac, is it after midnight?”
“Yes...”
“Then will you marry me?”
“Yes....”
Harm scooped her up into his arms as he stood up and swung her around. “When?”
“Whenever you want?”
“I am so in love with you Sarah Mackenzie.”
“And I am in love with you, Harmon Rabb.”
“Then let’s call it close enough for now and work out the details later.”
June 20, 2004
Rabb Residence
Falls Church, Virginia
“Mac? Mattie? I’m home!” Harm, all sweaty from his run, had entered the house through the kitchen that they had remodeled together just before the wedding on June 5. Mattie and Harm had moved into the house on April 16. They had painted Mattie’s bedroom to the left of the stairs and the alcove first. They also painted the downstairs room and put Harm’s bed in there to start with. They also started on refinishing the stairs, doing the work on weekends and evenings.
Mac spent a lot of time with them helping and when she wasn’t doing that she was working on wedding plans. Together Harm and Mac planned the changes to the house and did much of the work together. They decided that the downstairs bed and bath would be their office and a guest suite. They made plans to make one half of the upstairs into a master bedroom suite for themselves. They decided that the larger bedroom over looking the front of the house above Harm’s temporary room would be their bedroom and the bathroom would be remodeled to include a walk in shower and a spa tub. The entrance to the bathroom would be from their bedroom and not the hall. The bedroom next door would be converted into a sitting room/second office for Mac that would someday be a nursery. They would also expand their closet space. The work was finished three days before their wedding. They had also managed to have the new bedroom furniture delivered and set up before the wedding.
They had hired someone to come in and remodel the kitchen and dining area. Mac had taken charge of the entry way, hall and living room. She told Harm that she would pay for it and that if he didn’t like what she had done, he could redo it. He had agreed and as a reward for his blind trust in her, she had often asked his opinion on colors and patterns and textures. The end result had been astounding.
Harm finally found Mattie out in the back yard. “This back yard is really shaping up, Mattie. Mac out here with you?”
“No. I don’t think she was feeling real well. I thought she went to lay down.”
“Thanks...I’ll check the bedroom.” Harm closed the back door that had been put in as part of the dining room remodel. He made his way to their bedroom hoping Mac was there and everything was okay. He also wanted to get in a shower. Pushing open the bedroom door, he saw Mac, asleep on their bed. He let her sleep while he went into the bathroom to shower. After rinsing off he stepped out and toweled off before dressing in khaki’s and a short sleeve shirt. They were suppose to be going to a Father’s Day lunch at Bud and Harriet’s today. Harm, as AJ’s godfather was one of the honorees.
“Mac? You okay?” asked Harm quietly as he leaned over her on the bed.
“Harm?”
“Yeah.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s almost time to go to Bud and Harriet’s. You okay?”
Mac smiled and stretched. “Yes...just tired mostly.”
Harm grinned. They didn’t seem to be able to get enough of each other. He had assumed that they would fall into some kind of routine after they returned from their honeymoon but his desire for her was still earth shattering and she seemed to feel the same about him. It was no wonder she was exhausted. He leaned down to kiss her lightly.
“Don’t start anything now, my love.”
“Who me? Why would you think that, my dear?”
“Maybe because we make love every night before we go to sleep and we wake up making love every morning and you’ve woken me up a time or two during the night as well...not to mention the weekend naps you’ve suddenly been wanting when we don’t sleep at all!” Mac laughed as she reminded Harm of their insatiable appetite for one another.
“Now I know why people like to plan a two week honeymoon. By only taking a few days, we didn’t burn off that initial appetite and now we’re exhausting ourselves trying to adjust and still have a honeymoon,” Harm explained his theory. Suddenly serious again he looked at Mac. “You said that being tired was only part of the problem and Mattie said she didn’t think you were feeling well. Why did she think that?”
“I got a little light headed when I went out to work in the back yard with her.”
“Mac...what aren’t you telling me?”
“I don’t think there is any cause for alarm here Harm.”
“Why?”
Mac sat up and reached into the bedside stand and handed him a little stick with two plus signs on it. Harm took it and looked at it with a puzzled expression on his face. As the meaning began to registered he looked at Mac, his eyes wide opened.
Mac smiled as he raised his eyebrows in question. She nodded her head and whispered, “Happy Father’s Day...”
Harm gathered her to him, tears in his eyes. He and Mac were going to have a baby. “Are you okay with this?”
“Yes. Are you?”
“Mac, a year ago I had almost given up hope of this ever happening. And then you gave me Mattie and now this...I love you!”
“I love you too. Harm, I know you are excited, but I think we should wait to tell people until a doctor has confirmed it and until we know about when I’m due.”
“I’ll try Mac...but people will probably wonder why I’m puffed up with pride.”
“Nah...they’ll just chalk it up to newly wedded bliss for now.”
“Shall we go celebrate Father’s Day with the Roberts and our godson?”
Mattie watched them leave and smiled. Maybe there was a fine line between love and hate, but she knew that the line of love in this house was wide and deep and not something to be questioned...just enjoyed.
THE END