Title: A Wonderful Life, An Excellent Christmas

Author: Hollyjp

Summary: A Jag Christmas story

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers (and Author’s Note): All episodes of JAG through Season 10 so far, spoilers and my own speculation are all mixed with my creativity. Sometimes I’m close to what airs and sometimes I’m not. Last year my speculation and creativity landed me pretty close, but it wasn’t intentional. Some of the comments were very angry saying I had ruined the show for them because what I wrote was to close to what aired. Again, I have no inside information - it’s just me playing with the characters I love and trying to create a story worthy of them. My suggestion to you is if you are afraid spoilers would ruin the show for you, do not read this until after JAG’s Christmas episode airs. If spoilers increase your enjoyment and anticipation, go for it!

Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.

JOY TO THE WORLD

CHAPTER 1

Monday November 29, 2004

0745 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

“Good morning Bud. How was your Thanksgiving?” Commander Harmon Rabb asked as he stepped off the elevator and entered the bullpen as Lt. Commander Roberts was returning to his office with his coffee.

“Very good sir. And yours?”

“It was wonderful. I joined Mattie and Tom on Thursday in Blacksburg and then Friday drove up to Belleville, Pennsylvania to see my Grandmother. On the way home I saw the Admiral and he invited me to dinner yesterday.”

“How is the Admiral, Sir?”

“He’s enjoying his retirement, thrilled that the Red Sox pulled off a major upset in the American League Championships and went on to make history and won the World Series on top of that.”

“He did call it, didn’t he sir?” Bud shook his head in awe and wonderment as he recalled the retiring Admiral’s words to him.

“That he did Bud. Hey you have a good day and I’ll catch you later. I need some coffee.” Harm set his things in his office and headed for the kitchen. He was a little surprised that Mac wasn’t in her office yet. He had been touched by Sturgis’ effort to make peace when he arranged to have Harm moved back into the office he use to occupy - until Admiral Chegwidden had ordered Commander Turner to occupy it and make it his own space.

Taking a sip of his coffee he closed his eyes to savor the flavor and chuckled how his taste had changed. He use to have a hard time swallowing the extra strong brew Gunny and Mac had made, but over the years he had acquired a taste for it. Since the admiral had departed, the coffee was usually made by someone else, and although it had rich flavor it wasn’t the strong brew he had grown accustomed to over the years. This morning, it was extra strength again. He turned to see Major General Creswell waiting to get to the coffee pot.

“Sorry sir...I was just enjoying the coffee.”

“You like Marine issue coffee..Unusual for a Navy man.”

“Not around here, sir. Colonel Mackenzie and the gunny were often the ones fixing the coffee and it was either adapt or go without. The Admiral sometimes even complained their coffee was weak.” Harm explained.

“Admiral had been a Seal, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“You admired him.”

“Yes and respected him.”

“Even when you didn’t agree with him?”

“Sometimes not at the moment, but eventually.”

“We haven’t had much chance to get to know one another, Commander, but you puzzle me.”

“How so sir?”

“Join me in my office.” The two men entered General Creswell’s office, and Harm took a seat as the General indicated. “I was reviewing your file. You are an interesting mix of down to earth guy next door, hero and rebel rolled into one. I’ve heard you claim the truth is everything.”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m going to be truthful with you Commander. I don’t like a lot of what I see in your files and I don’t like the fact that you have in the past put personal issues before duty without following proper channels. That said, I do value your work ethic, your drive to find the truth, your legal knowledge, your investigative skills, and your guts. I also respect your commitment to keep promises and do what’s right. I have a family, Commander. I would move heaven and earth for them. But I am also an officer and a Marine and in order to do for my family, I have to follow the proper channels. Can you promise me Commander Rabb that you will follow proper channels when personal issues arise so that I can support you on them or provide you with alternatives?”

Harm locked his gaze with the Major General and seriously thought about what he was saying. He tried to read what was behind those steely blue-gray eyes that were locked onto his own green-gray eyes. “Yes sir, I can.”

“How do you know that, Rabb?”

“Because I believe we share a common set of values and I see in your eyes, what you see in mine.”

“Very well, Commander. I hope we won’t have to test out any of this anytime soon. Staff meeting in twenty. Dismissed.”

“Yes sir.” Harm retreated with his cup and warmed the coffee in the kitchen before returning to his office. This time he saw Mac’s office was open and he poked his head in to say good-morning.

“Hey Harm. You were in early.”

“Yes. I just had an interesting conversation with our commanding officer.”

“Really? What was on his agenda?”

“I think I just promised not to take off to Russia, Paraguay, Chechyna. Or anyplace else, without his clearance.”

“Wow...were you planning to go anywhere soon?”

“No...but here’s the interesting part...he just made a promise to me not to leave me hanging high and dry.”

“That is interesting...”

“Mac are you still feeling nervous about his intent toward you?”

“Not really. He brought up Okinawa and said he assumed I had learned from my mistakes and he is not here to judge me. He also said that he thinks part of my problem is hanging around with too many Navy men.”

“He didn’t?”

“He did...but he said it’s curable.”

“And how does he intend to cure you?”

“That I don’t know about. I’m beginning to think the man does have a sense of humor and maybe even a heart.”

“Hey Mac, how was your weekend?”

“It was fun. I hadn’t had a chance to spend time with Chloe in a couple of years. It always seems like one of us is always busy. I think I talked her into coming down for a few days during her Christmas break. Her grandmother is all for it especially because her father is deployed again this year.”

“I’d love to get to know Chloe again...now I have a better understanding of teenagers.” Harm smiled at Mac and she returned the smile which gave him a glimmer of hope that Mac was healing emotionally.

“We’d better get ready for staff meeting,” Mac reminded him. Harm nodded and stepped into his own office next door. He gathered his notepad and pen in one hand a the coffee cup in the other and together, they entered the conference room. Bud and Sturgis were already seated, at either side of the head seat, so Harm and Mac sat across from one another, Harm sitting next to Bud and Mac next to Sturgis.

They had no more then settled into their seats then Major General Gordon Creswell entered the room and stopped at the head of the table.

“Commander Roberts, please change seats with Colonel Mackenzie. I have decided that we will run two senior teams for now. Commander Turner and Colonel Mackenzie, will head up the litigation portion of each team, while Commander Roberts and Commander Rabb will head up the investigative side of each team. There will be times you may want to defer to the other member of your team but that will be up to each of you to resolve on your own. You are my senior teams and you will each be getting a junior team to assist you as necessary. Jockeying for position to make yourself closer to me and the position of power, won’t work. It only makes you closer to the door in my eyes. Any questions?”

“Have the junior attorneys been selected as yet?” asked Lt. Commander Roberts.

“No. Do you have some ideas, Commander?”

“I believe Lt.(jg) Jason Tiner may be available. He use to be the Admiral’s yeoman before he completed law school and went to Naval Justice School.”

“Alright Commander Roberts, why don’t you see who is available and due for reassignment in the Navy and get their files to me by the end of the day. Colonel Mackenzie, if you would do the same with the Marine Corps.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let me outline the rest of my plan for you. I’m not sure why we are so short staffed, but we will address it and by the end of this week, the plan will be ready to implement. As I said, we will be working in teams. One team will be comprised of mostly Navy and one mostly Marines. The reason for this as you may guess, is that sometimes we want people to open up and that tends to happen when they are dealing with someone that understands and knows what life is about from a similar perspective. At the same time, there are times when you want someone from a different perspective to review what’s going on.

“Cases will be assigned to teams by me. Team leaders will determine who and how the team will handle each case individually. Each team will have administrative and technical supports that they can utilize. That doesn’t mean we will bring in that many new people, but we will reassign people that are currently here to various teams.

“As it turns out, you have offices next to your partners and the junior teams will be assigned space with that concept in mind. Questions?...Commander Turner?”

“Sir, in the past, cases involving aircraft have usually gone to Commander Rabb; submarines to me...”

“Are you saying that colonel Mackenzie should only have cases involving women?”

“No sir.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Will that still be taken into consideration?”

“Commander Turner, how you assign cases that go to your team is up to you. I will assign cases as I see fit. Commander Rabb, do you have a problem working with a bunch of Marines?”

“No sir.”

“Very well. Carry on.” As fast as Creswell arrived in the conference room, he departed leaving the staff a little bewildered.

“Sounds like we’d better get to work requesting our team. You ready Harm?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

By the end of the day, Mac and Harm had tracked down Major Michael McBurney, Captain Thomas Houghton, Lieutenant Beth Jacobs, and Gunnery Sargent Victor Galindez. They had also identified Petty Officer Carl Davis and Sargent Janice Cate from the bull pen as those they wanted to be on their administrative team. They were ready to make their requests to General Creswell.

When they reconvened, Lt. Commander Roberts presented their slate first. We located five attorneys for you to select from sir, Lt.(jg) Jason Tiner, Lt. Doug Nichols, Lt. Steven Marshall, Lt. Amy Bratton, and Lt. Rachel Wherton. We also thought Petty Officer Carl Davis and Petty Officer Sue Farnsworth would be good administrative supports.”

“I see. Of the five attorneys you brought to me for review, do you have two you think would fit your team best?”

“No sir. They all look good.”

“I see. Colonel Mackenzie?”

“We identified three sir and they are in order of preference: Major Michael McBurney, Captain Thomas Houghton, and Lieutenant Beth Jacobs. We also are familiar with Gunnery Sargent Victor Galindez and have worked with him before at JAG and on special ops. He would be an asset to our investigative team. He is due a promotion and reassignment sir. We also felt Petty Officer Carl Davis as well as Sargent Janice Cate would round out the team. However, we will concede Davis if we are able to add Gunny Galindez to the team.”

“Concise and ranked. I should be able to get back to you in the morning. Get a hold of Galindez and have him report here ASAP. Dismissed.”

Harm and Mac exchanged looks and left the conference room for the second time that day on a mission. They met in Mac’s office while she placed the call to the Gunny who was still in New Mexico visiting his sister Marie.

“Gunny, hold on I want to put you on the speaker...Can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear Colonel...would that be Commander Rabb with you?”

“Yes it is, Gunny. How are you?”

“Fine sir. What’s up?”

“Well as you may have heard, we have a new Commanding Officer, Major General Gordon Creswell.”

“Creswell? Tough Marine.”

“Yes he is. We know you are on leave but we are doing some reorganization and would love to have you on our team as one of our investigators.”

“Gunny, we’ve approached the general and he would like you here ASAP,” Harm told him.

“Will I still be a clerk?”

“Not in the plans Gunny. We need someone that knows how to work investigations, undercover operations, and stuff like that,” Mac told him. “And Gunny, you’d be on an almost completely Marine team. Harm’s the only Sailor so far.”

“You know Ma’am, if all those Navy guys were like Commander Rabb, then the Navy would be a better place.”

“So you’ll be here sometime this week?”

“Yes Ma’am. I’ll get a ticket as soon as we hang up. I’ll call to let you know when to expect me.”

“We’re looking forward to it, Gunny.” Mac disconnected the call and smiled up at Harm. This is going to be interesting.

CHAPTER 2

Friday 1514 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

General Creswell had just finished introducing the newest members of the two teams. Joining Turner and Roberts, were , Lt.(jg) Jason Tiner and Lt. Amy Bratton, with administrative support from Petty Officer Carl Davis and Petty Officer Sue Farnsworth. Joining Mackenzie and Rabb were Major Michael McBurney, Lieutenant Beth Jacobs, Gunnery Sargent Victor Galindez and to provide administrative support, Sargent Janice Cate.

“Be ready to hit the ground running...Turner, your team takes call this weekend. Post the names of the individuals on call on the board and with dispatch. The rest of you may secure.”

“Marine team - my office for a moment before you secure,” Mac announced as they headed out the door. Once they were assembled, Mac began again. “I know this is short notice, but those of you that can make it are invited to join us at Commander Rabb’s tonight at eighteen hundred hours - civilian dress - pizza and conversation are on the agenda. Bring your significant other if you want to...”

“Yes Ma’am. Location?” asked McBurney.

Harm gave his address, which was located in the city, north of Union Station. After the others had departed, he turned to Mac.

“Remember how we use to get together after work at least once a week?”

“Yeah...that’s why I thought it was a great idea for our team. Thanks for offering your place.”

“Not a problem...but you keep them in control, Colonel.”

“I will. See you later...and Harm...I’m glad you got stuck with us Marines.”

“Me too Mac...me too.”

1720 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

“Mac - Wow! You look fantastic. Come on in...” Harm stepped back to let Mac in. She was dressed in a soft green pant suit with a pastel top in muted shades of swirling pink, peach, green, blue and white. She wore a lavender trench coat over it.

“Thank you. I thought I’d get here early to help...I forgot to ask if you were bringing anyone.”

“You are my partner Mac. There’s no one else I would have here with me.”

“Harm..”

“I’m not trying to rush you Mac...You can have all the time you need.”

“Thank you...now what needs to be done?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure how many to expect so I went with everyone. Mike, Beth, Gunny, and Janice plus each one may bring someone...We could have ten of us. I got the cooler set up with beer and soda and I have juice, water, and mixers in the refrigerator. I’m going to call in the pizza now. I thought I go with five large pizzas - one pepperoni, one pepperoni with mushroom, one veggie, one sausage, and one with the works. I’ve also got nachos, chips, veggies and dips that we can start setting out anytime.”

“Shall we put the food on the table or the island?”

“Munchies on the island and dinner on the table.”

“What about chairs?”

“Oh yeah, the extras are over at Jen and...just Jen’s. I’ll go get them if you want to get the munchies set out.” Harm quickly turned and started to walk away, when he felt Mac’s hand on his arm to stop him.

“Talk to me Harm.”

“I know I just spent time with her at Thanksgiving and she looked happy and its what needed to happen...its just that I miss having her here and planning meals for her...playing board games in the evening and having Jen and Mattie gang up on me over what is and isn’t a word. I didn’t think I’d miss her this much. I thought I’d feel some freedom...”

“I remember how lost I felt when Chloe left...and then you went back to flying...anyway, I found that between work and spending time with Harriet and the baby, it helped until I developed new habits and routines.”

“I know...but I don’t want to hang out with just anyone...”

“Would I do?”

“Mac you don’t have to feel sorry for me. I’m a big boy - I’ll be okay.”

“Harm...stop...Mattie helped tear down the walls you had built up keeping everyone out. Don’t rebuild them. You told me one time to talk to my friends. Now I’m going to give you the same advice. We are both at loose ends right now. We can help each other through the lonely times with no strings attached. We’re friends - partners - right?”

“I hear you Mac...it’s just I guess I’m at a place in my life where I want the strings attached.” Harm turned then and walked out of his apartment to borrow the chairs and ask Jen to join them if she were home. She had been on call over the weekend and had not been able to get away to Mattie’s for dinner.

Mac watched Harm walk away with a puzzled expression on her face. She had a feeling he was trying to tell her something, but she wasn’t sure what. She went to work getting the munchies out while Harm went after more chairs. He returned with two chairs and Jen, then announced he was going down stairs to get a third chair from the garage.

“Evening, Ma’am. Commander Rabb insisted that I join you guys...”

“Jen, we’re in civilian attire tonight and we are going to be relaxed and casual. Call me Mac...and I’m glad you came over. How are things going working with the General?”

“It’s different, Mac, but I like the fact that things are much clearer. He’s no nonsense and if I can keep my mouth shut long enough he spells it out for me. Don’t have to second guess him. I’m not sure if the Marine-Navy team division is going to work, or backfire...but it should be interesting.”

“I agree. Harm’s the odd man out on our team, but I think the fact that he’s been undercover as a Seal, Force Recon, and has held his own on the ground in battles, makes him the best choice,” Mac told her.

“He’s missing Mattie a lot, isn’t he?” Jen asked changing the subject.

“Yes, but you are too. I’m sorry you couldn’t get away to spend Thanksgiving with them. By the way I saw Chloe and she was asking for you.”

“Can I ask you something personal, Mac?”

“Go ahead...but I reserve the right not to answer.”

“Fair enough. Are you and the Commander dating?”

“No. Harm and I have been best friends and partners for years. We count on each other at times, even when we have been involved with others. I’m not sure there is anything more then that there, but at one time, Harm was sure there was. I told him we would never work out and I hurt him. We’ve just gotten back to the point where our friendship is solid. I’m not sure I’m ready to explore anything else, and while I treasure Harm’s friendship, I sense that he wants more...but I don’t trust it. I thought he wanted more once before - but I ended up out in the street looking up at this window and crying my eyes out in the rain.”

Personal conversations ended, as Harm returned with Mike McBurney and Beth Jacobs in tow.

“Look who I found. Guess we won’t need the extra chairs after all,” Harm announced.

“Hey Mike. Beth. Munchies are ready and the pizza is on its way.” Five minutes later, Gunny arrived along with Janice from the bull pen. Jen was introduced to everyone and the pizza arrived. One of the first things that Mac noticed, was that no one had shown up with a date. The second thing she noticed, was the team was evenly divided with men and women (if you didn’t count Jen as part of the team)...something that had come about on its own, without conscious planning. She also noticed that they were all singles without any apparent commitment to anyone.

Michael McBurney, who preferred being called Mike, turned out to be quite a character. He got them started on telling stories about each other and then something interesting about themselves. Gunny suggested a hand or two of cards which led to a few hands of poker. Mac chose to clean up the kitchen with Jen’s help instead of participate in the game. Jen made sure there was music playing in the background. It was obvious that she was comfortable in Harm’s apartment...probably even more comfortable then Mac at this point in their relationship. Mac fought a twinge of jealousy and refocused herself on the clean up project. Janice and Beth soon joined the women in the kitchen.

“Mac, how have you survived being alone with them?”

“I hold my own. Besides there’s Jen, and Harriet...she’s gone inactive reserve because she’s having twins, and she also has five and one year old sons.”

“I meant Marines more then the gender issue Mac,” clarified Beth.

“Gunny was stationed with us for a few years and when you get to know Harm better, you’ll understand.”

“Well he is good looking enough to forget about the uniform he wears,” commented Beth.

Mac bristled. “That will be all Lt. Jacobs. There is no place for that in this command. He is a senior officer and you are in his chain of command whether you like it or not and you will show respect and keep personal observations such as that to yourself. I thinks it time for you to leave.”

Harm hearing the disturbance jumped up and went to the kitchen. “Problem, Colonel?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m taking care of it. Lt. Jacobs needs to leave.”

“Oh...did you wear a coat?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll get it,” Jen announced, dashing up the stairs to the bedroom and retrieving the coat she deduced belonged to Lt. Beth Jacobs.

Mac’s steely glare at the young lieutenant didn’t get by Harm, nor did the young women’s nervous manner or rigid stance. Janice chose to get her coat and leave with Beth, but Jen stopped her by asking her if she wanted to see the apartment seeing as she was right there. Janice agreed and left with Jen to take a look at it. They had been discussing the possibilities of becoming roommates.

Mac tried to rejoin the poker game so they could have four players but her heart wasn’t in it and by eleven o’clock, the party broke up. Mac had moved to get her coat but Harm had stopped her by telling her that there was something her needed to discuss with her. After Victor and Mike had departed, Harm turned to Mac with arms folded across his chest and legs planted. He squinted at her for a few minutes before speaking.

“What’s going on Mac? What did Beth say to set you off like that?”

“Nothing much.”

“I’m not buying, Mac.”

“She made an inappropriate comment about how she regarded you and I told her that it wasn’t proper and to stop it immediately.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Harm, if the two of you even look at each other side ways and Creswell knows I’m aware of it, he’ll have my oak leaves if I don’t report it. I can’t believe you won’t take it seriously after I told you about what happened.”

“Mac, relaxed. I’m not interesting in Beth Jacobs in any way other then a part of our team.”

“Harm, I’m not kidding, he won’t put up with anything...”

“Mac, there’s nothing there for him to put up with. I am not in danger of being charged with fraternization. I don’t know what she said that has you so convinced, but I have no interest in her. Look Mac, can we change the topic?”

“Yes...”

“Good, because I’ve been thinking about something else you said.”

“What’s that?”

“That I should try to get out some. Want to help me?”

“Find a girlfriend?”

“No...go with me to a movie or to dinner...maybe even dance.”

“When?” Mac asked feeling a little breathless.

“I think we should start easy...maybe a movie...tomorrow evening?”

“What do you want to see?” Mac asked him.

“Something fun...Mattie wanted to see a foreign film with sub-titles last time we went.”

“Really?”

“Yes...I tried talking her into the Adam Sandler movie that was playing, but she informed me that was too young for her.”

“Is the new Shrek movie too young for you?” Mac asked with a grin.

“No...”

“Would you mind if I brought another young man with us?” Mac asked. Harm studied her through squinted eyes.

“What are thinking?”

“Well, I usually take our godson to the movies once a month and I thought if you didn’t mind, we could go to an early show and take him with us. After we take him home, maybe we could go get a bite to eat.”

“Sounds like just what I need. Thanks Mac.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll be babysitting AJ tomorrow, so pick me us up at my place around fifteen thirty. We can catch the second matinee show and get him home at a decent time.”

“We could probably take him to the first evening show...” Harm started to suggest until he saw Mac shaking her head ‘no’.

“He’ll be sound asleep in thirty minutes.”

“Okay, late matinee it is...Mac?”

“You’re not going to let this drop are you?”

“Yes, I am. I just wanted to say that I hope you trust me not to do something stupid. I might have been tempted in my younger days, but I know what I want now and after more then eight years, I think I’m pretty focused on my goal.”

“Still obsessing over things Harm?”

“No Mac, just biding my time until the planets align like they did for the Red Sox this year...only I hope I don’t have to wait eighty-six years before I get my miracle.”

Mac studied Harm thoughtfully as they stood close together between the dining room table and the living room area. It crossed Mac’s mind again that Harm had changed in some ways...but she was still too uncertain of her personal life to trust her own judgement or Harm’s.

“You going to be all right driving home, tonight?” Harm asked Mac.

“Yes...I didn’t drink you know.”

“I know that...I just meant you seem tired and its getting late.”

“Will you feel better, Harm, if I call you when I get home?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll call you. Thanks again for being the host.”

“You’re welcome.”

Harm went to the window to watch her drive away after the door closed between them. He sighed. It would take time for her to trust him but she was beginning to.

CHAPTER 3

Saturday, 1745 Local

Harm’s SUV

On the Road to the Roberts’ residence

“Uncle Harm, wasn’t that the coolest movie?”

“It was pretty cool AJ. Which Shrek movie did you like better?”

“This one! Didn’t you Aunt Mac?”

“It was cool...but I think I liked the other one better.”

“No way! Uncle Harm, ‘s’plain to Aunt Mac why this one was better!”

“Well AJ, only you can explain why you think this one was better. That’s an opinion and everyone can have their own opinion. It doesn’t make one person right and the other one wrong - they are just different.”

“Yes Uncle Harm. Aunt Mac, I’m glad you don’t keep teaching me lessons like Uncle Harm...”

“Takes the joy out of life sometimes, huh?” Mac asked her godson gently.

“No...he makes me think and Mommy and Daddy say he’s usually right.” Harm looked in the rearview mirror to see his five year old godson shaking his head sounding like he had life’s answers and they all were a bit disappointing.

“Sorry, AJ...I just take my duty as your godfather seriously. You know I love you and wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Me too AJ,” Mac offered.

“I know. My friends at school say I’m lucky because its like I have two moms and two dads. They say they don’t have an Uncle Harm and Aunt Mac like I do. Mommy says my brother Jimmy didn’t even get an Uncle Harm and an Aunt Mac.” Harm and Mac exchanged a glance as the five year old rambled on trying to stay awake.

“I asked Mommy if the new baby would have you like I do and she said that she hadn’t talked with you about it. It’s okay with me if you want to be Uncle Harm and Aunt Mac with a new baby. I know it won’t change the way you love me.”

“You’re right AJ. And I think we would both be honored to be godparents to a new baby. It shows what a grown up young man you are now, willing to share us with a baby.” Mac praised him for his mature decision and when she didn’t hear any thing, she turned around to find him slumped over in his car seat, asleep.

Harm pulled the Lexus into the driveway as Mac announced he was asleep. Mac gathered up AJ’s bag while Harm lifted the sleeping boy out of his seat and carried him to the front door. Mac rang the door bell and a pregnant Harriet answered with a smile, covering her mouth with her hand when she spotted her sleeping son.

“When did he fall asleep, Ma’am, Sir?”

“About two minutes ago, Harriet.”

“Did he act out at all?”

“No he was very good. I think he enjoyed the movie and he seems very proud that he’s old enough to share his godparents now with a new baby.” Mac told Harriet.

“Come on in. Commander, would you mind carrying him into his bed. Just take his shoes off and Bud and I will get him into his PJ’s later. Do you guys want coffee or anything?”

“No thanks Harriet,” Mac answered as Harm carried the sleeping terror to his bedroom. As energetic and challenging as this child could be, Harm wouldn’t change a thing about him.

“Mac, I know you’ve been though a lot this past year, but Bud and I would like you and the Commander to be godparents again for both babies. As you know, I’m having twins. So far everything is going good...but if something should happen to me, I don’t think Bud would be able to handle four children. We’ve talked about it, and of everyone we know, it would be the Commander and you we would want raise the twins. Both of you are good with children. Anyway, there’s time, but would you think about it?”

“Of course Harriet. There’s not that much to think about...for me anyway...but nothing is going to happen because you are in our prayers.”

“Ready?” Harm asked Mac as he returned from putting AJ to bed.

“Yes...Harriet, call me tomorrow if you get a chance so we can plan to spend some time together, okay?”

“I will. And thank you...” Harriet saw them to the door.

Harm placed his hand on Mac’s back as he escorted her back to the car.

“Ready to eat some real food now, or are you stuffed from the junk food?” Harm asked Mac as he pulled the car back into the traffic.

“I would love some real food...steak, baked potato, chocolate cake...” Mac grinned at the pained expression on his face.

“What makes you think I won’t feed you real food?” Harm grinned back.

“You? The almost vegetarian?” Mac asked, still smiling.

“You exaggerate...and under estimate me Mac.”

“Do tell.”

“I made reservations for us at the new restaurant in Georgetown. You been there yet?”

“No I haven’t...you made reservations?”

“Yes.”

“But Harm, I’ve got jeans on. I just thought we’d grab take-out or go to one of the chains...”

“It’s okay...they have casual attire. Jeans are not a problem. I checked when I called.”

“You gave this a lot of thought didn’t you?”

“Yes...but if you would prefer to change, we have time. Our reservations aren’t until nineteen hundred.”

“Would you mind? I’m suddenly feeling like I’d prefer to be dresed up as an adult.”

“Then I’ll go change too,” Harm informed her.

Harm dropped Mac off and watched her enter her building safely, before heading home. He ran into his apartment and grabbed his tan suit from the closet along with his dark jade shirt with the matching tie that Mattie had given him for his birthday. Pulling off his boots and jeans after shedding his jacket, and shirt he quickly stepped into his suit pants, slipped into the shirt, buttoning it up and tucking it in with one motion. He added the matching tie and then donned the suit jacket. He debated between the brown dress shoes and the boots. The boots won out. Pulling them on again, he made sure he had his wallet and keys before securing his apartment and heading across town to pick up Mac. His heart raced with anticipation and excitement. He was looking at this portion of their evening as a date. He hoped she would too.

Mac met Harm at the door dressed in a simple brown skirt with a lime green sweater top. Her brown pumps and handbag completed the outfit. He held her tan all-seat coat while she slipped her arms into it and after shutting off the lights, she let Harm escort her back to the Lexus. They didn’t talk much at first each a little hesitant as to what to say. Mac broke the ice a little by talking about JAG and work.

“What do you think of being stuck with a bunch of Marines, Harm?”

“I can handle it. So far we have pretty good people on the team.”

“I still don’t trust Beth Jacobs.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what she said?” Harm asked her.

“She said that you were good looking enough to forget about the uniform you wear...” Mac told him.

“So what made you mad, Mac...that she thought I was good looking or that she was willing to ignore the fact I’m Navy?” Harm asked Mac.

“What about the fact that she was willing to ignore the fact you are a senior officer and make a move on you?”

“You really think so? I didn’t sense that from her.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“What’s that suppose to mean Mac?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

“No...if you are feeling something doesn’t seem right then it needs to be explored.”

“I don’t want to talk about this. AJ enjoyed the movie tonight,” Mac said diverting Harm from the topic she had brought up after promising herself she wouldn’t.

“Yes. Did you?”

“Of course.”

“Even when AJ insisted we sit together?” Harm querird.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“So have you got your Christmas shopping finished Harm? Mac asked changing the subject yet again trying to find something that she would feel comfortable talking about.

“Finished? No...but I have been thinking about what to get some people and I’m hitting a brick wall.”

“Any one I know?” Mac asked, relaxing again.

“Actually yes...Mattie has me stumped. I had two things in mind and her father has already bought both of them for her.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“One was a book on women in aviation history and the other was a sweater she fell in love with at the mall.”

“Girls always like clothes, Harm.”

“But anyone can get her clothes. The sweater was special because she spotted it when we were shopping together and I knew she wanted it and it would have been a surprise because she never said a word to me about it.”

“Read her mind did you?”

“No her face...it lit up when she saw it and fell when she walked away after looking at the price tag. It was hand made and more then her budget would allow. She had already bought one sweater after teasing me for it because it was the perfect color.”

“And the book?”

“Well I had told her that I had seen it and she said it sounded really interesting. I told her that we could look for it next time we went to the mall, and a week later she has the book...she told Tom about it and he went right out and bought it for her.”

“Tell me about some of the things you and Mattie did together that seemed special...or interests that you shared - like planes,” Mac suggested as they settled into their seats at the restaurant.

“Well, Mattie and I went to the National Zoo one day together. She had never been before and so we went together. She was such a little girl that day...eyes shining at the animals, clinging to my hand in the reptile house...” Harm smiled remembering their day together.

“What else?” Mac softly prodded, enjoying the look on his face as he talked about the special times with Mattie.

“I think scrabble became one of our favorite games. Jen, Mattie and I played for hours sometimes...and then teaching her to cook...”he smiled at the memory. “First few things she attempted alone were a disaster...but she got it eventually. She just needed to turn the heat down a little or be moire exact with her measurements.”

“You taught her to cook?” Mac grinned.

“Yes...and she learned a lot. So are you getting any good ideas fromthis walk down my memory lane of Mattie?”

“Actually I am...what about a charm bracelet or necklace that commemorates some of those memories of you together? They have charms in a wide price range, from simple silver and gold-plated to diamond encrusted and everthing in between.”

“That’s a great idea Mac...thanks.”

They had ordered their food while they talked and the waiter brought out the salads. For the remainder of the evening their conversation flowed freely about many things, but work never entered into it once.

Harm finished the last bite of his chocolate cake and coffee and sat back to watch Mac finishing her last bite. He smiled thinking about the way she enjoyed her food without worrying about her weight. He rarely splurged on dessert, but tonight he wanted to just enjoy the meal and not think about anything else, so he had indulged. As Mac finished, she looked up and Harm and smiled.

“I think I’d better run an extra five miles tomorrow after that meal.” Mac admitted.

“Is that how you are able to eat what you want and stay so fit?” Harm asked.

“It helps...but I was also blessed with a fast metabolism I think...I suspect someday that will change.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, when I saw my mother that time when my father died, I was shocked to see how heavy she was. I remembered her as being very thin when I was a child.”

“And you father?”

“He was a thin man, but I assumed it was because he was in the Marines and later because he tended to drink rather then eat.”

“Liquor can put on the weight Mac...maybe you’re more like him then her,” Harm stopped when he saw her face and cringed. “Mac, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it came out...”

“I know Harm...it’s okay...I know you didn’t. Forget it, okay?” Mac tried to brush it off.

“No Mac...it’s not okay that I hurt your feelings - even if it was unintentional. “ am so sorry.”

“Harm, its really okay...can we go now?” Mac asked.

“Of course.” Harm called for the check and helped her on with her coat. Together they returned to the car. He stopped her before she got in. “Mac, I’m sorry if I ruined the evening. How can I make it up to you?”

Mac studied Harm’s face. She saw genuine concern and regret for his inadvertent comment that had brought her discomfort. In that moment the pain she had felt at his words went away and before she could stop herself she had kissed his cheek and said, “Let’s go walk around at the mall and see if we can find some charms for Mattie.”

“You don’t have to do that, Mac...”

“I know...but I thought it would be fun to see the Christmas lights and the shoppers will be out but it shouldn’t be too packed tonight. You up to it?”

“Yeah...let’s go.”

Side by side they walked around the mall looking at jewelry. They looked in a few department stores but Harm didn’t see anything that grabbed his eye. They walked into a popular chain of jewelry stores and Harm’s eyes lit up. He spotted a charm that looked like his beloved Tomcat and another that looked like his Stearman.

“Mac, look...” He pointed her to where he was looking. The clerk came over and asked if there was something he could show them.

“What do you have for charm systems...necklaces, bracelets...probably in gold,” Mac suggested to the clerk at Harm’s nod.

“Well, we have the traditional bracelets but many people prefer this hoop they where on a chain around their necks, or this one that can be worn as a necklace or a pin.”

Harm and Mac, with heads together studied the items the clerk set out for them. Harm finally chose the hoop that could be work as a necklace or a charm in 14 carat gold. He had picked out ten charms to look at closer when Mac suddenly realized he was thinking of buying all the memories at once. She stopped him.

“Harm, what would be the three most important memories right now that you and Mattie share? Don’t try to get them all right now. Have the fun of the charms is getting a new one every now and then to add to the collection. Three is a good number to start with.”

“Okay...then I would have to go with the two planes and the heart.”

“We can engrave the heart if you would like sir - up to 14 letters to a line and that one will fit four lines I believe.”

Harm thought for a minute and then wrote down, “Fair winds and following seas. Love Always, Harm.”

Mac saw what he had written and she felt a tear come to her eye.

“Harm that’s beautiful.”

“I gave her a note with a set of my wings when she left. It was clipped to a piece of paper that had those words on it.”

“Well the paper may fade or get lost, but she’ll always have your words now. It’s perfect.”

“You really think so Mac?”

“Yeah...I do. Mattie’s one lucky kid to have had you in her life.”

“What about you Mac? Do you consider yourself lucky or cursed to have known me?”

“Lucky of course...”

“Good...I meant what I said on the Admiral’s porch that night.”

“That I made complicated things too simple?” Mac whispered, as their eyes locked.

“No...that you’ll always have someone that loves you and I don’t want to lose you.”

Mac smiled then as she slipped her hand into Harm’s. Arrangements for the charms were made and Harm would pick them up the following weekend to give them time to be engraved and boxed. Together, Harm and Mac returned to the mall and wandered among the shoppers, hands still clasped, enjoying the atmosphere together.

CHAPTER 4

Friday, December 10, 2004

1930 Local

McMurphy’s Bar and Grill

Falls Church, Virginia

Mac walked into McMurphy’s and looked around for the Marine team and Harm. She spotted them in the back corner and Harm waved to her pointing to the chair next to him.

“Saved you a place Mac. What would you like to drink?”

“The usual,” she replied to the waiter who nodded as he went to get her a tonic water with a splash of cranberry juice, a slice of lime and a twist of lemon, with a cherry on top on ice. “Thanks, Harm” she said as she slipped into the seat that he held out for her.

“How was your meeting with Creswell and Sturgis?”

“Very interesting. It appears that Sturgis is having trouble getting his new people up to speed. They are competing with each other rather then working as a team and trying to compete against us. Creswell was asking how we were building camaraderie and handling those issues and I told him. He said it was about what he expected from a bunch of Marines and a ‘Marine wanna be’ like you.” Mac laughed at the stricken look on his face. “Harm, he was just teasing...he really respects what you are doing and he wouldn’t be saying things like that if he really thought them.”

“You have certainly changed your tune about Creswell.”

“Yes...thanks to you convincing me that he could have changed. He has in some ways, but in others he’s still a hard ass.”

“And you’re alright with how our team is doing?”

“Yes. Harm...”

“Yes Mac...”

“Why don’t we order some food for our team?” Mac suggested.

After they had placed the order, Harm and Mac sat back and watched Gunny and Janice on the dance floor while Beth and Mike discussed something at the other end of the table.

“You know Mac, I’ve been on alert all week watching Beth to see if she did or said anything to me that would indicate inappropriate interest in me. I haven’t seen anything. Am I missing it or has her interests shifted?”

“You know I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I got through to her last weekend, because she’s been all over Mike all week,” Mac noted.

“I’m still curious why you got so angry last week...”

“Let’s just agree that I over reacted and leave that topic alone. Can you do that?”

“Yes. Hey Mac, are you busy tomorrow?”

“Not all day.”

“Want to do some more shopping with me. I’ve got my mother and grandmother to buy for still...and Mattie’s gift to pick up.”

“Sure. What time?”

“What’s good for you?”

“Any time after fifteen hundred.”

“Okay...how about we shop, do dinner and maybe catch an adult movie?”

“Adult?”

“Well as opposed to a kids movie?” Harm blushed as he realized hos suggestive his remark had sounded.

“Sounds like fun. When should I be ready?”

“Sixteen hundred?”

“Looking forward to it.”

“Care to dance?” Harm asked as the music on the old juke box started on an old familiar tune that Bud, Harm and Mac had all played one night about seven years ago.

“Thanks.”

Mac placed her hand in Harm’s and together they moved onto the dance floor. They were both enjoying the moment so neither of them spotted the look Beth Jacobs shot in their direction or heard the words she muttered to Mike McBurney.

“Those two think they are so perfect. She warned me about inappropriate behavior when I commented that he’s good looking, yet they’re so close you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. I wonder what Creswell would think of this.”

“Beth, you aren’t going to start trouble are you?”

“Not me.” Beth smiled as she watched Harm and Mac move across the dance floor together.

Mike McBurney studied the young woman that he had been partnered with. There were times he respected her skills as a lawyer and other times he felt she was trouble and could not find it in himself to trust her.

On the dance floor, Harm guided Mac, around the floor to the music, enjoying the chance to hold her close to him. As the song drew to an end he looked down at her.

“Still think I think of you as a sister?”

“No...we’re friends...and you’ve said you don’t think of me as a sister.”

“So you’ve decided to believe me?”

“Yes.”

“Dance with me again, Mac. Give me a chance to remove all doubts from your mind.” Mac nodded and Harm pulled her close again. This time she felt his thighs brush hers and felt his lips against her hair. By the end of the dance, she thought she could feel his arousal pressed between them, but she didn’t want to assume something more then what was there, so she ignored it, not allowing herself to believe that her body had that effect on him.

As they turned to go back to the table after the song ended, Harm whispered to Mac, “You’d better walk right in front of me or we both might be embarrassed.” Again Mac did as she was asked, still not believing that he was really indicating what it sounded like.

They took their seats at the table and spent the next half hour or so chatting with Gunny, Janice, Beth and Mike. After that, Harm indicated that he needed to leave, and Mac agreed. They left the bar together and Harm offered to follow Mac home. She suggested they he come up for coffee and dessert before heading home. He agreed and Mac cut each of them a slice of moist yellow cake with a peanut butter frosting to go with the coffee.

After they had talked their way through the cake and coffee, Mac walked Harm to the door. They made plans to run together the next day and then to have dinner together on Saturday evening.

Harm stood looking down at Mac and before he could change his mind, he leaned down and kissed her. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it left a tingle on Mac’s lips as she watched him swagger down the hall of her apartment building, her fingers lightly touching her lips in amazement.

0100 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm turned over in bed again. He had been tossing and turning all night, not able to get Sarah Mackenzie out of his thoughts and as a result unable to relax and fall asleep. On one hand he had been encouraged by the fact that she had agreed to dance with him, but on the other he was getting frustrated that she either didn’t realize or didn’t care that he wanted so much more with her. He had discovered years ago that when she was hurting over something, he wanted to fix it and make it better. He had gone about his early attempts all wrong and had at times driven a wedge further between them. But after losing everything that matter in the spring of 2003, he hoped he would be able to learn from his mistakes and start doing things right.

He had bided his time for months after Clay’s death and Mac’s medical concerns. If she indicated she wanted space, he gave it to her. He took her at her word, but always let her know, ‘I’m doing this because you’ve asked and I’ll be here when you are ready,’ so that she would understand that he was listening to her and giving her the control. But it had been six months and now he felt the need to start letting her know in little non-threatening ways what he wanted. He would still give her the control, but he wanted her to know what her options were. Tonight he had taken a big gamble dancing with her the way he had and hinting that he was aroused from dancing with her. When she had not shown any particular reaction, he had decided to risk it and kiss her goodnight. At the last minute, he had decided to keep it light and make it a quick kiss. It hadn’t helped - he was still having trouble finding sleep. Perhaps the fact they were spending time together this weekend would help. He made up his mind then, to give in to the little urges - like taking her hand in his, dropping a kiss on her cheek or maybe even her lips once in awhile, and of course asking her to spend time with him not related to work.

0100 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

Mac sat by the window looking out at the street, her fingers still resting against her lips. Her long sleeve white cotton nightgown gave her an almost unreal image in the moonlight. She thought back over the past few weeks. Harm had changed or was changing. Professionally she knew he had matured and although he still went after the truth, he did it in a much more planned and thoughtful way. But it was the personal changes that had her feeling confused.

She and Harm had finally reestablished their friendship. It was hard not to when someone was there for you saying and doing the things you needed. Mattie going back to her father had given Mac a chance to be there for Harm after his quiet unwavering support through the fiasco with Webb and her medical issues. She thought back to the night of the Admiral’s Dining-out and their talk on yet again another porch.

While Harm had vowed that he would always be there for her and made the baby deal open ended for her if she wanted it, he had also not expressed his feelings for her. She knew he was the best friend she had ever had. At that time she still believed Webb to be dead, and wasn’t ready to even consider anything more with anyone, yet deep down the love she felt for Harm was still there. She had pushed it down and buried it because she didn’t think Harm would ever return it and so to protect herself she had ignored what she felt for him and convinced herself that it was someone else that she loved. There had been too much for her to deal with for her to allow herself to face the truth.

Lately she had begun to sense that there was more to what Harm felt for her then what she was seeing. So at time like this she thought about what Harm was doing and saying and what it might mean. She thought back to the dancing earlier this evening.

For some reason Harm still remembered her commented about dancing with his sister and was denying it. She knew he had been on duty that evening and it explained his distraction, but she had just hoped that he would be tempted by holding her in his arms and dancing close. Yet tonight, he had brought it up again. She thought back to the first dance. Nothing stood out in her mind, but during the second dance, he had held her closer, more intimately. She remembered wondering if what she was feeling was his arousal and dismissed it, but now thinking about it, the comment about walking in front of him to prevent embarrassment might indeed have been so his discomfort would not be visible to their team.

Mac shook her head and groaned as she spoke aloud to herself, “Of course you idiot. He had reacted physically to dancing close to you and he was embarrassed by it. You wouldn’t react to a friend like that and that’s why he didn’t want anyone to notice.”

“But what about that kiss at my door?” Mac asked herself then.

“That was just a light, goodnight kiss. Nothing special.” Mac had finally felt that she had figured out where Harm’s head was and decided to go to bed. At least she knew that Harm was her friend Harm. He wouldn’t purposely do anything to embarrass her and he would enjoy spending time with her like always. The least she could do was accept his friendship. It was better then nothing, after all. Once again she longed to have Harm state his intentions. She hated not being sure and guessing.

0830 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Staring out the window at the falling snow and sleet, Harm checked the time to see if it was too early to call Mac. They had agreed to meet at Rock Creek Park to run not thinking about the time of year or having heard the pending forecast. Deciding that Mac wouldn’t strangle him for calling too early, he picked up his phone and hit the speed-dial button for her number. Mac asnswered on the second ring.

“Mackenzie.”

“Hey there...any sunshine at your house - besides your smile?” Harm grinned as he imagined the look on her face at his flowery question.

“No...but I have an idea...”

“What’ that?”

“We could go to the club and work out...the new one that I got the complimentary passes for. Want to give it a try?”

“Sure.”

“Great, I’ll meet you there in half an hour or so.”

“Mac, wait...the roads are really not good out there and the Corvette is not good on slippery roads. Let me pick you up in the SUV.”

“Thanks, Harm...”

“And Mac?”

“Yes?”

“Why don’t you pack a bag and come over here with me afterwards. We can grab a bite to eat and then walk over to the train station and go to the mall and do some shopping and then take the train back here. I’ll take you home after we eat if you want.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...See you in when you get here...and drive carefully.”

1012 Local

Harvey’s Fitness Center

Georgetown

After trying each piece of equipment in the place, the circuit stations, and the boxing bags, Harm and Mac decided to run on the indoor track that was part of the center. A special hall with windows to outside and indoor areas had been built around the entire facility that dipped underground to create hills where it went under exits. Four laps were equal to one mile. They ran past indoor tennis, racquetball and handball courts, the indoor swimming pool, the weight room, circuit room, the cycling center, aerobic room, and the office and lobby area. By using a chip installed in a wrist, arm, or ankle band, their distance and time was tracked and a read out near the ‘finish line’ provided a digital read out on their progress. As many as four runners would show at a time on the four lane track. As they were approaching the end of the ten mile run, Mac suggested they run a few more miles to cool down. Harm agreed to her suggestion.

“You sure it won’t be too much for you, Harm? I mean you aren’t a young man anymore.”

“I can do it. I’m young at heart, Mac...that counts for a lot.”

“Maybe Harm...but if we’re going shopping I don’t want you to collapse after all this exercise and the walking we’ll do later.” Mac grinned as he shot her an indignant look.

“I’ll remind you Mac, I must be in top shape or the Navy wouldn’t have agreed to send me to qualify on F-18's.”

“No...they just need to boost the economy by making sure enough of those planes crash that it gives industry a boost. They figure you must be good for at least two or three more!”

“Mac! That’s not nice...” Harm slowed almost too a stop. “You wound me...”

“Harm, I’m just kidding...I didn’t mean it...really...you are a good pilot...” Mac rushed to reassure Harm. Too late she realized he had set her up and she had fallen for it. She caught his wide smile and twinkling eyes and retaliated by slapping his arm. They both laughed and returned to the steady pace they had set for the final couple of laps. That exchange seemed to set the tone for the day.

After cooling down they separated to hit the showers in the locker rooms and agreed to meet in the lobby. Harm was looking at the membership prices posted near the desk when Mac joined him.

“Ready?”

“This is a great facility. It might be good to join for the winter. You thinking about it?” Harm asked as they started walking toward Harm’s car.

“It is nice and the price for a single membership is steep.”

“True, but they have a partner’s membership - not quite a two for one deal but it would make it reasonable.”

“Really...I didn’t notice that. I guess I don’t focus on things for two anymore.”

Harm glanced at Mac a little sideways as they pulled out onto the street. The snow had stopped and the roads were clear.

“It doesn’t say what kind of partners Mac...and we are partners at work - right?”

“It’s kind of out of your way Harm....”

“Not if I go before or after work.”

“It might work...” Mac said thoughtfully.

“Hey I have an idea...the roads are better, what if we drive over to the mall and eat there and do our shopping now. You up for that?”

“See...I knew you wouldn’t be up to walking to the train station and shopping after doing those extra miles!” Mac grinned in triumph.

“That has nothing to do with it...I figured this way if we bought more then we could carry we could take it out to the car and then go back for more...”

“Sure you did...”

“I did...but if you want to limit yourself and take the train...”

“No that’s okay...your second idea had merit. Let’s go...and I’ll have steak for lunch by the way.”

“Deal. Steak house it is. They have great salads there and a broiled chicken that is mouth watering...” Harm happily drove them to the mall and found a parking spot just three spaces from the main door to the mall.

CHAPTER 5

1659 Local

Old Post Office Mall

Washington DC

After eating they had picked up the jewelry Harm had ordered the previous week for Mattie. They hit the toy store and each picked out gifts for AJ and Jimmy. Next on their lists were Bud and Harriet’s unborn babies. Mac convinced Harm to go with her into the Baby Gap store and together they picked out some appropriate baby gifts. Harm decided to get two baby books and Mac went for the matching Christening gowns. From there they had followed each other in and out of a variety of stores...sometimes buying and sometimes walking away with nothing.

At fourteen hundred, Harm had taken the first load of bags out to the car. Mac had opted to go into a men’s store and buy a gift for Harm while he was gone. She had noticed that he liked the matching shirt and tie look judging from the civilian clothes she had seen him wear. Mattie had also mentioned it one time in passing, and for some reason it stuck. Mac had picked out a shimmery shirt and tie that looked gray at first, but as the light caught it, it reflected a lot of subtle colors almost like a muted rainbow. It would go well with many colors and was as changeable as those beautiful green-blue-gray-brown eyes of his. She also spotted a tie tack that was plain, masculine and engraved with the words, ‘My Best Friend’. Mac added it to her purchases. Fearful of being discovered in the store, Mac rushed through the check out and into the store next door where she found the perfect gift for Chloe. She had just left that store when Harm caught up with her. He had obviously shopped on his way back in, as he was carrying a small bag as well.

They had continued shopping and Harm found gifts for his mother, Frank, his grandmother, his brother and sister-in-law, and a little something for Chloe as well.

They had covered the entire mall and were in the food court sipping coffee and deciding on their next action.

“So Harm, do you need to get anything more here tonight?”

“No...I think I’ve just about finished, thanks to your help. I need to worry about getting this stuff boxed and wrapped now.”

“I’ll tell you what...feed me dinner and I’ll even help you wrap presents.” Mac offered.

“You don’t have to do that Mac...”

“I know I don’t have to...I’d like to...I’ve had fun with you today.”

“Me too...what would you like to eat?”

“Pizza?”

“We can order when we get home and have it delivered.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Together they made their way back to the main door and out to the parking lot. Harm held the door open for Mac and shut it after she settled in the seat.

1730 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

After a heavily laden trip upstairs with all of their things, they ordered the pizza and then separated out their packages. Mac tucked the gift for Harm into her bag when he ran upstairs to his bedroom to get the Christmas paper out. She heard him rummaging around and talking to himself.

“Harm? Everything okay?”

“Yes...I must have taken the Christmas paper down to the garage. I’ll go get it,” he stated as he came down the steps just as the knock came on the door. Harm answered it and paid for their pizza.

“Let’s eat and then I’ll go down and get it.”

Mac agreed and they sat at the island to eat their pizza as the table was covered with gifts waiting to be wrapped. After they ate, Mac cleaned up while Harm went to the garage. He returned fifteen minutes later with a crestfallen look.

“It’s gone?”

“What’s gone, Harm?”

“The Christmas paper...I thought I had some and its gone.”

“Okay...I bought some, but its not enough for everything.”

“Want to go out again and get some wrapping stuff with me?”

“Sure.”

“Feel like walking?”

“Of course.”

“Good, there’s a store on the corner that we can walk to that should have what we need.”

Together they walked the four blocks to the store Harm had suggested. They bought festive tissue paper, decorative wrap, box assortments, clear tape, stickers, ribbon, bows, and tags.

The temperature had dropped while they were out and the sidewalks were beginning to ice over. By the time they got back to Harm’s building, it had started to sleet and the roads were getting bad.

“I guess we’d better wait to wrap the gifts, Mac. Roads are getting bad...unless you want to stay over...”

“Sure...I can do that. I have my bag with me...”

“You can take the bed...I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Harm, that’s not necessary...I’ve slept on your couch before.”

“I know...I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

“I appreciate it...but I’ll be fine on your couch. Now let’s start wrapping.”

“Aye, aye, Ma’am!” Harm grinned at her.

When they were done, they had two piles of gifts. They carefully put Mac’s wrapped gifts back in the bags, while Harm’s were stacked on the end of his table.

“Too bad you didn’t have a tree. You could put everything under it.”

“I do...want to help me decorate?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I got an artificial tree - a really good one - about four years ago and I only put it up once. I saw it when I was downstairs before. Wait here and I’ll go get it.”

“Do you have decorations?”

“Yes.”

“Then let me come down with you and we’ll bring those up too.”

2328 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm and Mac sat on the sofa sipping their hot apple cider, looking at the Christmas tree with its sparkling lights, silver and gold garland, silver and gold star on top, and an odd assortment of ornaments. Some were gifts and others were childhood mementos.

(FLASHBACK)

Harm picked up one ornament and tossed it aside. His reaction got Mac’s attention.

“What’s that one Harm?”

“Nothing...don’t want to put that one up.”

“Let me see it.” Harm reluctantly handed over the gold satin ball with the blue embroidery that showed the letters H and R in a heart shape.

“From Renee?”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever hear from her?”

“No...her mother sends me a note every now and then. I’ve never responded back.”

“Not even once?”

“Actually I did...I sent them a bond for each of the babies when they were born...but that’s all.”

“Harm’s its okay. Renee was a big part of your life for two years.”

“Yeah...and you’ve been a bigger part of my life for over eight.”

“And I drive you crazy, right?”

“In ways I can’t tell you...I’m sorry Mac...that didn’t come out very good...we’ve had fun today and I don’t want to ruin that.”

“Do you think sticking your foot in your mouth is going to ruin our friendship?”

“Maybe...I don’t want to risk it.”

Mac smiled and placed her hand on his arm. “You won’t. I’ve learned my lesson...I need your friendship Harm...I can admit that now.”

“Good.”

(End Flashback)

The gifts were under the tree adding to the perfect picture. Mac rested her head on Harm’s upper arm.

“Comfortable?” Harm spoke softly.

“Hmmm.”

“Tired?”

“Not on your life...”

“Do Marines ever sleep?”

“Don’t know...I do sometimes...”

“But you’re not tired tonight?”

“No...I’m content.”

“I’m glad.”

“Why?”

“It’s a good sign,” Harm murmured.

“Good for what?”

“I don’t know...us...our friendship...the future...”

“Oh.”

“You don’t think it’s a good start?”

“I do....”

“I since some hesitation in your voice, Mac.”

“Not about our friendship...I told you earlier...”

“You need my friendship...and it works both ways.”

“I guess that’s why I feel content...its like everything seems to be fitting into to place...and it seems like its been a long, long time since I’ve felt like things felt right.”

“But being here with me this evening - today - has felt right?” Harm asked hopefully.

“Yes.” Hearing her response, Harm started to move his arm and Mac sat up until Harm stopped her.

“Mac, wait...I just thought I’d take another risk...” He slid his arm around her and pulled her toward him. After a few seconds she relaxed again, resting her head more on his chest and shoulder while his arm wrapped around her and his hand rest against her side and hip. “How’s that?”

“Nice...you know I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

“I think you look better now that you’re not a ‘stick-boy’ anymore.”

“Stick-boy!” Harm laughed, “You haven’t called me that in years!”

“I know...and it doesn’t fit anymore...you’ve been working out a lot. I really noticed it in the gym today.”

“Well I’m going to take that as a compliment...”

“Good...that’s how it was intended.” Mac sighed and relaxed again as she listened to Harm’s breathing and the sleet against the window and watched the Christmas tree sparkle. She didn’t see the longing looks that Harm was giving her or the way he closed his eyes and swallowed, fighting to keep his emotions in check as he held her against his side. She might not realize it, but the time they spent together last night and today was precious to him and gave him hope that his patience would give them another chance.

It was sometime later when Harm realized that they had fallen asleep together sitting up on his couch. They had kicked their shoes off during the evening and were both dressed in comfortable loose fitting clothes, so he eased away from her and lowered her to the sofa, tucking a pillow under her head and pulling the afghan over her. She remained asleep so he lightly kissed her forehead, shut off all but the small light in the kitchen and went to bed.

CHAPTER 6

0745 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm awoke feeling as if he had missed an opportunity for something. Slowly he heard the water running in the shower. He opened his eyes and saw the head indentation on the other pillow and smiled. Now he knew that it hadn’t all been a dream. Not long after he had fallen asleep, Mac had woken up and was cold and had crawled into bed with him. He remembered her snuggling up against him to share his warmth. He also thought he remembered her kissing him lightly or at least touching her fingers to his lips. He smiled and decided to see how she acted with him this morning. His fear was asking for too much from her too soon and yet he remembered in the back of his head her haunting words in Paraguay, “It was nice to have someone declare his intentions,” she had said. Harm wanted to do that now...but her statements that she would let him know when she was ready stopped him from moving too fast.

He heard the water shut off and Mac moving around in the bathroom. He slipped out of bed and pulled on his sweat pants and headed for the kitchen before he called out to her.

“Mac, I just started the coffee. It should be ready in about five minutes. Want me to start some breakfast?”

Mac poked her head around the edge of the bedroom wall and saw Harm standing there shirtless at the kitchen counter. She knew she wouldn’t be able to tear her eyes off him if he tried to eat like that.

“I can do that while you dress if you want.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah...I’ll be right out.” Mac returned to the bedroom and pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt. She had on her socks, but stole a pair of Harm’s socks to wear over them to keep her feet warm without putting on her shoes. When she joined Harm in the kitchen a few minutes later, he smiled at her and looked as if he was going to lean down to kiss her when she stopped next to him.

“Good morning,” he said in a soft voice that Mac could only describe as sexy. Their gazes locked and they stood in a freeze frame pose as if he was going to lean down to kiss her good morning, while she raised her face so he could reach her lips...but nothing happened. After Harm uttered ‘good morning’ he almost visibly shook himself before heading for the shower and his clothes.

Mac’s heart started to race after he walked away and she heard the shower running. For a minute, she thought Harm was going to kiss her and she was ready for it...welcomed it. It felt natural and right...like the time they spent together yesterday.

Remembering that Harm made omelets with only the egg whites, she set about separating some eggs. She found onions, peppers, left over chicken and broccoli in the refrigerator so she took them out and chopped them up in small pieces for flavoring and color. She put bread in the toaster ready to be started when he was almost ready, and she got the frying pan hot. When she heard the shower shut off, she started the toast and the omelets. She poured them each coffee, and got out two plates. She was serving the omelet when Harm padded back down the stairs in his barefeet, jeans and a button down shirt only with one button fastened.

It was such a domestic scene that greeted him, they he didn’t even hesitate this time, when he leaned down and kissed Mac’s cheek as he rested his hands on her hips and his chin on her shoulder.

“Looks and smells good...and so does the omelet,” he grinned as he saw her mouth fall open in shock and he reached for his plate and coffee. “Thanks,” he called over his shoulder as he took a seat at the table. Seeing her still standing there, he called, “Are you going to join me?”

Mac came out of her stupor then and grabbed her plate and coffee and went to join him.

They ate in silence at first, and finally Harm spoke. “I forgot how cold you get at night. I should have turned the heat up for you.”

“It’s okay...I hope you didn’t mind my crawling in with you.”

“Not at all. I hope I behaved.”

“Of course you did...you were asleep.”

“Yes, well, sometimes one never knows whats real and what one dreams if they aren’t fully awake.”

“True...but you were asleep Harm...” Mac grinned then, “What did you dream?”

“Nothing special...” Harm muttered, but the red face gave him away. Mac decided it was time to tease.

“Judging by the blush it looks like it was rated X, Harm. Who were you draming about and what were you doing?”

“Nothing...never mind...Mac...”

“Don’t whine Harm...I’ll leave you alone if you tell me just a little...”

“Fine...I had a dream about you - us...nothing special...” Harm squirmed. Mac would kill him if she knew he had dreamed he was kissing her and making love to her. He had needed a cold shower this morning from the lingering effects of that dream.

“So I am in your dreams, Commander.”

“Are you giving me a red light?”

“I didn’t say that...but I am very curious...”

“Mac,” Harm pleaded for mercy with the tone of his voice.

“It’s okay Harm...I’ve had dreams about us too.”

“And?”

“I guess a part of me still wonders if it could work...and part of me doesn’t think it would.”

“Oh. But sometimes you think it might?”

“Yes...because you haven’t given up on me...you made me a promise and when I wasn’t in a place to make a decision you didn’t take the offer away...you made it open ended.”

“Are we talking about it now, Mac?”

“I guess we are...some at least...do you mind?”

“No. I’m listening...I’m ready.”

So Harm sat and listened to Mac.

“Harm, when we are together like we have been recently...relaxed, teasing, comfortable with each other...it’s exactly what I want and I can see our lives together being...and then I try to picture us with children and reality starts to step in. We haven’t let ourselves talk a lot about what our expectations are for raising children. Then I think about how we react to each other when there is any kind of conflict. I see us angry and lashing out...and it scares me Harm...I can’t commit to that.”

“I know...but I’m changing Mac...I didn’t think I could...but I have and I know I can change more...and for the good.”

“I know...but that’s only part of the problem. I need to change too. I haven’t changed enough yet...”

“Mac, you told the judge that I’m the kind of man you want to be the father of your children...why?”

“You’re gentle, and loving, and you’ll protect them and give then the freedom to be who they are. You’ll guide them and support them...”

“You’d trust me with your children, but not yourself?”

“That’s not what I’m saying...I do trust you...I don’t trust me. I don’t know if I can be the kind of person you need or deserve. I don’t know if I can be the kind of mother that your children would need and deserve.”

“I think you are perfect...we both will need to learn about hands on parenting with babies and young children...but we’ve both had experience with teenagers - Mattie and Chloe - and we do okay with AJ, our godson.”

“I know...”

“Then I’m not sure what the problem is Mac.”

“It’s me, Harm...but I’m trying to work on it...I promise.”

“Are you telling me that there is a chance for you and I to get together?”

“I’m saying maybe.”

“Mac, if I told you my intentions right now, would it help or hurt?”

“Good question, Harm. I think right now I’m not ready to hear what you have to say...but I think I might be soon.”

“Thank you Mac...”

“For what?”

“Giving me this much...and I promise, I’ll give you more time if that’s what you need.”

“I do....”

“Okay...so it looks like the ice is letting up. How about we clean up and they bundle up and I’ll take you home. We need to think about those weekend chores we’ve avoided so far.”

“Right...Harm, could I ask you another favor?”

“Sure...name it?”

“Well, decorating your tree last night made me realize that I want to have one again this year in my apartment. Will you help me pick one out and put it up. I won’t be able to decorate it until later, but at least it will be up.”

“No problem.” Harm flashed a smile, pleased with their talk so far and hopeful that in time she would be able to hear what he had to say.

CHAPTER 7

Friday, December 17, 2004

1935 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

It was her turn to host the team’s Friday night get together. Mac had borrowed Harm’s lasagna recipe and made up two - one with meat and one without. She served the lasagna with garlic bread and a tossed salad. She had decided on ice cream cake for dessert. The dining room table had been set and the team was milling around in her living room listening to Victor tell stories and Mike try to top the ones he told. Finally she called the team to the table.

Victor and Mike sat across from each other on one end, while Janice and Beth sat across from each other on the other end. Mac steered Harm away from Beth, by suggesting he sit between the two men. Mac took her seat opposite him between Janice and Beth.

Victor and Mike kept up the ‘who-out-did who’ stories for the first part of the meal, until Janice decided to change the subject on them.

“You know, I’ve been a JAG awhile now, and I keep hearing stories about Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie. Why don’t you two tell us about some of the things that you’ve done?”

“Nothing that remarkable that we can talk about,” Harm started.

“What about when you took the Admiral up in the Tomcat for research, Harm?” Mac asked with an innocent smile on her face.

“He ejected by accident and we had to go rescue him from the National Forest, but he managed to get himself out...and found a dog too.”

“How did he eject by accident?”

“You know...this really isn’t dinner time conversation. I’ll tell this one later. Did you ever hear the story about how my ward kept calling Chegwidden a ‘mean old bald man’ when he came to talk to me about coming back to JAG?”

“She didn’t!” Mac gasped...she hadn’t heard that story herself.

“She did. I was pretty down when I was flying for Grace Aviation. Mattie was only fourteen at the time and she was running the business. Anyway, she had me crop dusting for her. Mac had come to see me about helping with some old cases and eventually, the Admiral decided that he needed me more then he needed to punish me. He came out to ask me if I wanted to come back...and of course Mattie knew right away that I would do that. She didn’t like the fact that I was feeling pretty down when I went to work there and she decided to go to battle for me. She asked if the mean old bald man was the guy that fired me from the Navy. She let him know he had better treat me right or he would have to answer to her. I think Chegwidden respected her spunk even though he wanted to strangle her at the time. It was months before she would see him and not show her claws.”

“How is Mattie doing, Harm?”

“Good. I haven’t seen her since Thanksgiving, but we talk at least once a week on the phone. She’s happy and things seem to be going well. She has a boyfriend and she’s taking her first course toward getting her pilots license. Her dad arranged it for an early Christmas present.”

“It must be nice not being tied down with family responsibilities, Harm,” Beth Jacobs commented.

“Actually I miss it a lot. Nothing would make me happier then to have the woman I love agree to marry me and start working on a family together.” Harm looked at Mac as he spoke.

“And do you have this woman picked out Commander?” asked Beth.

“As a matter of fact I do.”

“Who is she?”

“Sorry...can’t divulge that information yet,” Harm evaded.

Mac jumped up and started clearing the table and offering to bring our the dessert. Janice went with her to help. Beth however, remained where she was and watched Harm watching Mac. Beth decided to make one more attempt to see if she could gain Harm’s interest. If not, she had decided she would move on...but tonight, she wanted to risk it one more time in case the rumors were wrong.

The dishes had been done and the team was sitting in the living room talking about their Christmas plans. Beth looked around and noticed that Mac had put up some mistletoe over her doorway. She immediately worked that into her plan. When the group started to break up, she hung back until she was the only other one left, except Harm and Mac.

“Harm, if you’re going to leave soon, would you walk me to my car? I forgot I parked it so far away.”

“Sure...” he looked at Mac. He really had hoped to stay a while longer to talk to Mac. Then he decided he could walk Beth to her car and come back. Mac actually gave him the opening.

“Harm, we really need to go over those plans this evening...why don’t you make sure Beth makes it to her car safely and then come back up.”

“Good idea...ready Beth?”

“Yes...” she said as she waited by the door. Opening she stopped under the doorway and looked up. “Look Commander...mistletoe...”

“I see...it makes a nice decoration.”

“Aren’t you going to follow tradition and kiss me?”

“Guess I’m not much for that tradition. Ready to go to your car?”

“Never mind...I’ll be fine.” Beth Jacobs slammed the door shut and headed for her car.

“Harm...you can see her car from the window...she’s not that far away and her car is under the street light. She already climbing into it.” Mac informed him.

“Thanks Mac...I guess you were right about her.”

“And I was wrong about you...”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you were encouraging it...but you don’t. I misjudged you. I’m sorry.”

“So...what plans did we need to look at?” Harm asked grinning.

“None...I just didn’t want you to leave yet.”

“What about plans for tomorrow and Sunday?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well the weather is suppose to be good tomorrow...want to take a ride with me to Blacksburg to see Tom and Mattie?”

“Sure. Is she going to spend any time with you at Christmas?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping she could come up for a few days.”

“Just in case, why don’t we take Christmas presents to her.”

“Good idea. Is Chloe coming down?”

“Not until after Christmas. But she might be here for New Year’s Eve.”

“That would be fun. Maybe Mattie can come then too and we can all do something together.”

“I’d like that Harm.”

“Me too...walk me to the door...I’ll pick you up tomorrow around eight-thirty.” Harm stopped in the doorway, putting on his jacket and then turning toward Mac. “Come here...”

Mac stepped forward and Harm lowered his face toward hers slowly as she stood looking up at him, her lips slightly parted in amazement as she realized what he was going to do. She closed her eyes and felt his lips touch hers lightly and then they seemed to move together on their own. Harm wrapped her in his arms and really kissed her then. His tongue sought entrance to her mouth and she granted it, as he explored her mouth with his tongue and held her close to him. Placing a final kiss on her lips he let her go and stepped back.

“See you in the morning. Sleep tight.”

Mac’s eyes opened in time to see the door shut and hear him walk down the hall. The smile on her face would stay there for some time.

1108 Local

Grace Aviation

Blacksburg, Virginia

“Late as usual,” Mattie greeted Harm as he climbed out of the SUV. He looked at his watch and grinned.

“Only eight minutes...and that was Mac’s fault.”

“No it wasn’t Mattie...don’t believe him,” Mac laughed as she came around the other side of the car.

“Mac! Wow, this is a neat surprise.” Mattie hugged Mac as Harm watched them before pouting.

“What, don’t I get a hug?”

“You had to wait because you were late...and tried to blame it on Mac,” Mattie scolded him. Mac laughed and with one arm still around the teenager whispered to her.

“You’ve raised him pretty well, Mattie.”

“What was that?” Harm asked his hands on his hip.

“Nothing important...just girl talk.”

“So no hug today? Alright...Tom inside?”

“Yes...he’s working on the engine of an old plane that came in. It’s been grounded until it passes inspection and the guy told Dad he’d give him a thousand dollars for every day he got it done before December first. He could probably use your help. I can keep Mac company if you want to help him.” Mattie tipped her head as she study Harm.

“Okay...no hug...sends me off with her father...yup, she’s forgetting me...”

“Harm! I’m not forgetting you....I’m sorry...” Mattie threw her arms around his waist and hugged him with all her might. He on the other hand grinned from ear to ear as he hugged her back. “That’s better...now you girls can get on with your girl talk while us men fix the plane.” He dropped a kiss on the top of Mattie’s head before walking away.

“He pulled that maneuver on me on purpose didn’t he?”

“ ‘Fraid so Mattie. He’s know for those devious moves all over the world.” Mac laughed.

“You don’t really believe that do you?”

“Of course not!”

“Good...because I might have to hurt you if you did, Mac.”

“He’s taught you well too I see.”

“I think so.”

Mattie and Mac chatted in the office while Harm and Tom worked on the plane. After two hours, Mac couldn’t hide her growling stomach anymore. She and Mattie agreed to order a pizza and go get it with Harm’s Lexus.

“He put the Corvette up for the winter?” Mattie asked.

“Yes. I think he did it last weekend,” Mac told her.

“Dad...Harm...Mac and I ordered pizza and grinders and we’re going to go get the food.”

“Mac, here’s the keys and some money for the pizza. We’re about done here until the part comes in.” Harm handed her the items. She started to argue but stopped when he gave her the look.

“Yes...we’ll close up and meet you back at the house.” Tom informed them.

Once under motion in the car, Mattie decided to see if she could get a status update out of Mac.

“You and Harm are spending more time together since I left, aren’t you.?”

“Yes.”

“Is it because I’m gone?”

“No! I mean I think Harm may have more freedom as far as where we go or what we do, now that you aren’t living there, but we spend time together at his place, at work, my place...we’ve been shopping and to the movies...even out to eat.”

“Are you dating?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that...”

“Why not?” Mattie asked.

“We’re friends Mattie. We like spending time together, but there is no commitment on either of our parts like their would be if we were dating.”

“But when I asked Harm if he...”Mattie trailed off realizing she was about to break a confidence and stopped herself.

“What Mattie? What did you ask Harm?” Mac asked as she pulled into the pizza and grinder place.

“I shouldn’t have said anything...I’m sorry. When I promise not to say anything I mean it...” Mattie jumped out of the car and Mac followed behind a little curious about what she had asked and what he had answered, but at the same time, she respected Mattie for stopping herself and keeping the confidence he had trusted her with. She caught up to Mattie at the counter and reached for the money Harm had given her to pay for the food. Back in the car, Mac decided to let Mattie know how much she respected her ability to keep a confidence.

“Mattie, as curious as I am as to what you asked and what he answered...I respect you for honoring the confidence. It shows how much integrity you have. Harm would be proud of you if he knew.”

“You aren’t going to tell him, are you? I mean I almost slipped...”

“No Mattie, I won’t tell him. Someday if I ever find out, maybe I will mention it...but not now...when you are keeping it to yourself like you promised.”

“Thanks Mac.”

They pulled into the driveway just as Tom and Harm climbed out of the old truck. The two men helped them carry the food into the house and then went to wash up while Mac and Mattie set the table.

Tom and Mac offered to clean up so that Harm could help Mattie with some of the math homework that was giving her trouble. While they went of to the den to work, Mac and Tom had a chance to talk.

“Is Harm angry that I petitioned for custody...I mean I know that he signed the papers...but still...”

“No Tom...he’s not angry. He is proud of the work you and Mattie have both done and glad he was able to help Mattie have her father. He’ll always care for her and want to be a part of her life...because that’s Harm. He will always put her desires and wishes first and let her make her own mistakes and value her word...because that’s what he does when he loves someone...”

“Mac? Mac, are you okay?” Tom turned and watched Mac as she seemed to freeze in place. She had stopped talking so abruptly that it concerned him. He was just ready to call for Harm when he saw her smile and then turn to Tom and continue talking.

“You know that saying about not being able to see the trees through the forest?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I just realized something after eight years that was in front of y nose and I couldn’t see it...until I explained it to you about the way Harm is with Mattie..”

“I don’t think I follow you, Colonel.”

“Harm and I have known each other a long time. We’ve never been more then friends, yet we’ve often thought we should explore that side of our relationship. We just could never get on the same page at the same time...I thought.”

“Are you on the same page now?”

“I think so...and maybe have been for some time, but I just couldn’t see it.”

“And you do now?”

“Yes, I think so...you see all the things that he has done that I thought were because he didn’t care, were the very things he has done for me because he does care...just like with Mattie. He loves her enough to let her go because its what she wants and he takes her at her word. I said I loved Mic and Clay so Harm lets me go. If I had said I didn’t think I loved either of them, he might have responded very differently. Thank you Tom...for helping me to see the trees.”

“I didn’t do much Mac.”

“You listened and let me ramble. Thank you.”

When Mac settled back into the seat of the Lexus after hugging Tom and Mattie goodbye and leaving their Christmas presents with them, she turned to study Harms features in the fading light, a smile on her face.

“Have fun today Mac?”

“I did. Thank for including me.”

“No problem. Mattie could use a woman’s influence now and again.”

“She and Tom seem to be settling in to a routine fairly well.”

“Yes. I’m glad I can help Tom with the aircraft when I come down. I think my friendship with him helps him not be resentful when Mattie talks to me or wants to see me.”

“You could be right. Mattie’s an amazing young lady Harm.”

“She is that.”

“I think she and Chloe will have fun together if they don’t get territorial.”

Harm laughed as he thought back to some of Chloe’s more immature moments since he had first met her.

“You know Mac...you never told me if Chloe was making up the stories about you dreaming about me or not.”

“Need to know, Commander...and you don’t need to know.” Mac retorted with a laugh.

“But I do Mac. It’s important to me to know if I’m on your mind day and night or if you ever think of me at all.”

“Harm, that sounds like words to a bad song...”

“Answer one question then Mac.”

“Okay.”

Mac held her breath waiting for the question fearing what she might have gotten herself into.

“Do you ever dream about me?”

“Yes...”

“Good.”

Mac waited but Harm ended the conversation there. He focused his attention on driving them safely back to Washington DC in the waning light. Twice on the more rural roads, Harm had to break for deer crossing in his path.

1913 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

Harm stopped the Lexus and turned to see Mac sleeping with a smile on her face. He watched her for about five minutes until the car started to cool, and she started to stir.

“Mac...you awake?”

“Oh! Sorry. How long we been back?”

“Only a few minutes...you okay?”

“Yeah. I didn’t sleep much last night. I guess I was more tired then I realized.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Yes...no need to push Harm...I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

“Harm, do you want to come up for awhile?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m still full from lunch, but I’ve got cookies and tea calling to me.”

“Then yes...I’d love to join you.”

CHAPTER 8

Friday, December 24, 2004

1100 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

“Attention on Deck!” announced Harm as General Creswell entered JAG ops, and waited for everyone’s attention.

“At ease. I understand that in years past many of you met at the local Chapel to hear Chaplain Turner give his Yuletide message. I am pleased to inform you that it will take place again this year. I will not be in attendance as my family and I are attending our own church with visiting family this year. I do wish each and everyone of you a safe and peaceful holiday season. For those of you with leave, enjoy. For those of you on duty or on call, remember to enjoy the little moments you find with those you love. Finally, we will secure at fifteen hundred today. Happy Holidays.”

The staff at Jag all called out a returning Happy Holidays and the General released them to return to work.

Harm continued on to his office. He had just come from the conference room where he had met with the Navy team about a case they were prosecuting and Harm and Mac were defending. Mac had been tied up on the phone, so he had taken the meeting on his own. At his office door he found a note from Mac.

“Harm, Some woman keeps calling for you and won’t leave her name or a messages. I’ve gone to follow up on two tips from the call. I should be back around thirteen hundred. See you then. Mac”

Harm checked the time and then slipped the note into his pocket before entering his office and making notes from his meeting for Mac to review. Although Mac took the lead on most litigation issues, there were times they traded so they stayed sharp in both investigation and litigation arenas. So far it was working well and Creswell had praised their team. Harm knew that was important to Mac.

{Knock, knock}

“Harm?”

Harm looked up from his desk to see a petite blonde holding a child about six months old. When recognition dawned on him his face lit up with a smile and he rounded the desk to give the woman and her child a hug, no questions asked.

“So you remember me?”

“Yes, of course. How is you mother doing Catherine?”

“She is doing well. She lives in a complex with assisted living clients. She is as active as she can be and dotes on her grandson.”

“May I hold him?”

“You can try...he sometimes gets annoyed by strangers and starts screaming at them.”

“Sounds like the distrust of CIA agents is inbred after all.”

“You joke about it, but you could be right.”

“Hey there little guy...What’s your name?” Harm talked to the baby who for now seemed to be content in his arms.

“Max - short for Maxwell Clayton Gayle.”

Harm raised his eyebrows in question and Catherine didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Clayton Webb is his father.”

“You are making a sttement, Commander, not asking a question.”

“The looks, the name, the timing...”

“That obvious?”

“To someone that knows. So Maxwell for the most famous secret agent in TV land?”

“Excuse me?”

“Maxwell Smart from ‘Get Smart’...remember that show?”

“No...I don’t...Maxwell is for Colonel Mackenzie, actually...I just didn’t want to go with Mack or Mackenzie...so I changed it to Max.”

“Good strong name. Does Clay know?”

“You think he should.”

“Statement - not a question, Catherine?”

“Correct.”

“ I do. I think he has a right to know. I don’t know how he’ll deal with it...I would want to be a part of my child’s life. Not all men feel that way.”

“Not all women feel that way either...”

“Catherine, are you thinking about giving up your son?”

“Some days...today no. But I did want to stop by and wish you a Happy Holiday, introduce you to this young man and see how things were going with you and Mac.”

“Oh well...some days I think we are right on course. Other days I think how on Earth will we ever close this gap.”

“He likes you...trusts you, Harm.” Catherine was standing close enough to Harm to rest her hand on the baby’s back as he snuggled on Harm’s shoulder and slept.

“He’s a great kid.” Harm looked up to see Mac outside his office, her eyes the size of saucers as she watch the scene with Catherine and Harm unfold. She didn’t see Max, but she saw Catherine apparently caressing Harm’s chest as she stood close to him.

Harm handed Max back to Catherine when Mac turned and bolted out of the JAG ops. She was gone before he could get around Catherine and out of his office.

“Harm, what’s wrong?”

“I think Mac just saw something that she took the wrong way. She probably thinks there’s something between us.”

“You offered a relationship once, remember?”

“Yes...and you were right to turn me down. I didn’t want to be alone.”

“And now?”

“I’d rather be alone then with the wrong women.”

“And is Mac the right woman?”

“I think so. I hope she’ll give me a chance to explain...”

“You going after her?”

“No...chasing her doesn’t work. I’m going to call her home phone and cell phone and leave messages if she doesn’t answer. Then I wait for her.”

“Well, we’ll leave you. Have a good holiday. And Harm...if I see Clay, I’ll tell him about Max.”

“Good for you, Catherine.”

When the door shut again, Harm grabbed the phone and dialed Mac’s home number. “Mac, if you’re there pick up. It’s Harm. I don’t know what you think you saw, but it was nothing to be upset about. Call me so we can talk...please.” He then called her cell phone and left a similar message on her voice mail.

He packed up his things to secure for the holidays and was about to leave when Bud stopped by.

“Harm, are you and the Colonel going to join us at the house this evening before the service?”

“I’m not sure Bud...come in and shut the door for a minute, please.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, I think Mac saw something that upset her and she took off.”

“What did she see?”

“Catherine Gayle stopped by to see me and introduce her son, Maxwell Clayton Gayle to me.”

“Webb’s the father?”

“Yes. Anyway, Webb doesn’t know it yet, and Mac knew about the fake wedding, but I let her believe that there had been some fringe benefits...because I was ticked off about her and Clayton. Anyway, I’ve been slowly regaining Mac’s trust and trying to explore if there is a chance for us to have a real relationship.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Bud...does that surprise you?”

“Not really...but only because Harriet told me that she thought there was more between you then friendship.”

“That’s all there is right now...but I want it all Bud. I love her.”

“So she must feel the same if she went running out of here after seeing you hold the baby and talking to Catherine.”

“I don’t know...but I’ve got to find her. If I hear from you and if we can fix this latest misunderstanding, then yes, we’ll be over. If not, I’ll try to call you later.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Harm.”

“I hope so Bud...”

Harm secured and headed for Mac’s apartment. He decided to stop and buy her some flowers before he went over. He ran into the Georgetown florist on his way to Mac’s apartment. He selected a mix of roses and carnations in red and white and one beautiful exotic salmon colored lily thrown in among the baby’s breath and greens. As he returned to his car, he heard his name called and Alicia Montez joined him peeking into the flowers that he held, trying to smell them. Short of being rude and pulling away from her, he didn’t have a lot of choice but to stand there. It was while she was smelling the flowers that he heard the tires squeal and looked up to Mac speed away in her Corvette.

“Mac!” he shouted in hopes of getting her attention, this time pushing Alicia out of his way. But it was too late. She was gone. Harm followed hoping she was at home, at least she was headed that way. But when he got there she was gone. HE put the flowers in the back of the car, and grabbed his cell phone.

“Mac, its me, Harm...don’t hang up, please. I bought the flowers for you...Alicia just happened along and stuck her nose in. I thought it was rude. Then I saw you...I know what you must be thinking Mac...and I swear to you I am not looking for their attention or doing anything to encourage it. Please Mac...call me so we can talk.”

Harm drove around for awhile looking for Mac. He stopped at his apartment and picked up the gifts he and Mac had wrapped for the Roberts family. She had decided to leave hers at his house, so he picked them up to and loaded them in his car. It was already eighteen hundred and Harm decided to join the Roberts family, thinking maybe Mac would show up there.

“Merry Christmas, Harriet,” Harm greeted the pregnant Harriet. “Are you sure you aren’t over doing hosting this party tonight?”

“I’m fine Harm. I’m due next week, and although I could go anytime, I’ve had most of this catered. Any word from Mac?” Harriet asked as she pulled Harm into the house and took his coat.

“Bud told you?”

“Yes.”

“Well there’s more now...I stopped to buy her flowers and as I was getting in my car, Alicia Montez came along and wanted to see and smell the flowers. She was pretty aggressive and other then being rude, I didn’t have much choice other then let her see. Mac comes along right then and sees it and takes off again.”

“Oh Harm...I’m so sorry. She’ll come around I’m sure.”

“Harriet, she has no idea how I feel...she hasn’t wanted me to say anything...she tells me she’s not ready and just when I think she is getting ready to hear what I have to say, this happens...and it was nothing I did. She’s flipped out over circumstantial evidence.”

“Harm, calm down...” Harriet’s calm voice, perfected from five plus years of raising children, kicked in and started to work on Harm. “You know that the Colonel has a history of running from personally emotional situations. If she didn’t care for you, would she have gotten upset thinking you were seeing Catherine or Alicia?”

“Probably not. She’s jealous Harm. She wants your attention but sometimes work and women connected to work claim your attention. It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong...but she remembers the days when you were the cocky aviator flirting with all the girls. She’s having trouble realizing that you’ve matured but still are the handsome man that attracts the women. On top of that, you’ve been working together so long, and trying to keep things on a professional friendly level, that its hard to know whether or not to cross that line. It was a tough call for Bud and me as well...we’re even the same rank!”

“That’s right...I had forgotten that. You really think she’s reacted this way because she’s jealous?”

“Yes...and I also think she’ll deny it.”

“I did.”

“Another story, Harm?”

“Yeah...she asked me one time when I was acting like a jerl if I was jealous and I denied it...she was right. I was jealous as hell.”

“Come have some food Harm, I’m sure she’ll show up at the church, if she doesn’t join us here.”

“Thanks Harriet.”

“Glad I could help Harm...that’s what friends do for each other, right?”

“Right. I’ve I ever told you that I think Bud’s a lucky man?”

“Yes...you have on a couple of occasions. Come on...there’s someone waiting to see you,” Harriet grinned when Harm hesitated. “My son, your godson?”

“Lead the way.”

2015 Local

Between the Chapel and

the Vietnam Memorial Wall

Harm had waited as long as he could on the steps of the chapel for Mac to join them. He had finally given up and gone inside to join Bud and Harriet. Chaplain Turner once again gave the Yuletide Message that left them all feeling magical. The feeling didn’t last, however, when Harm didn’t have Mac sitting there with him. He was now on the road to the wall to visit his father, half hoping that Mac would come to him there.

He was thankful that it wasn’t snowy or icy tonight. It was cold, however, and he worried that Mac would be waiting in the cold at the wall for him. He was just turning onto the mall road, when his cell phone rang.

“Mac, is that you?”

“Sorry, I’m trying to reach a Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr.”

“That’s me...” Harm got a sense of dread as he listened to the voice on the phone.

“Commander, we are transporting a Sarah Mackenzie to Bethesda Naval Medical Center.”

“What happened? Is she okay?”

“She was in a car accident. She was asking for you. She seemed to be in a great deal of pain...”

“Is she alive?”

“Yes...in and out of consciousness...”

“I’m on my way...tell her I’m on my way.”

Harm disconnected the phone and turned the car around, heading for Bethesda. His heart pounded in his chest. He tried to imagine what he might find when he arrived, but stopped himself so he could concentrate on driving and get to her safely. She needed him...she had asked for him. He would be there.

Parking the Lexus in the parking lot closest to the Emergency Room, Harm ran toward the entrance and asked for Colonel Sarah Mackenzie at the desk. He was directed to a waiting room. A doctor in surgical scrubs entered about fifteen minutes later.

“Are you Harm?” the doctor asked.

“Yes. How is she?”

“We are waiting on tests...she’s been in and out of it...she’s reliving things she’s been through...and every now and then she calls for you.”

“Can I see her?”

“Yes...I think she might rest easier if she sees you. She is bruised, and has a few cuts, but appears to be quite lucky. We have her on pain medicine and connected to several monitors - just as a precaution. Colonel Mackinzie was in a great deal of pain at the crash sight and when they first brought her in.”

“Doctor...”

“Follow me.”

Harm did as he was told and the doctor led him to a hospital room where Mac lay looking lost and fragile, yet beautifully alive as she called out to him.

“Harm? Harm I need you...Why are you always busy when I need you?” her voice faded and she sounded so lost and alone that Harm’s heart broke hearing her.

“I’m right here, Mac...its okay...I’m here.” Harm took her hand in his and tried to sooth her with a calm voice. She grasped his hand tightly and seemed to quiet. He pulled the chair to her bedside and sat on the edge of it so he could be close to her.

“She seems to float in and out and she’s said some strange things...we think it’s a reaction to the pain killer and that she might be having some hallucinations from it.”

“How long will that last?”

“About four after hours after we stop giving it to her.”

“Then stop giving it to her! She doesn’t take that kind of stuff well, and would not want to be on it...I hold her medical power of attorney...stop the drug.”

“Yes sir...can we give her a milder medicine for the pain?”

“Yes...as long as it’s not addictive.” Harm knew that she would not be happy having the drugs put into her system. She may not be a health food nut, like he leaned, but she didn’t like the drugged up feeling narcotics gave her.

“In small doses it will be fine.”

“Thank you.”

Harm sat with her holding her hand and soothing her brow as she tossed and turned and fought the pain and the effects of the drug. He suspected that she was also fighting the feelings from the misinterpretations she had made that day.

CHAPTER 9

Friday, December 24, 2004

2100 Local

Naval Medical Center

Bethesda, Maryland

“Harm why are you always too busy when I need you?” Mac’s voice pleaded with him to answer her.

“I’m here Mac...I’m with you now...I came as soon as they called me.” Harm was desperate to reassure her and make sure she knew he was there with her.

“Clay said I was tough...do you think I’m tough...Do you think I don’t need to be cared for and comforted at times?”

“I know you like most people to think you’re tough and most of the time you are strong...stronger then me...but we all have times we need someone to lean on...”

“I’m not tough...I’m weak...so weak...I’m scared...oh why won’t you come for me now Harm?”

“I’m here Mac...I’m holding your hand...I’m right here with you.” Harm was feeling desperate, unable to get through to Mac. The nurse interrupted him.

“Sir...I don’t think she can hear you. The monitors indicate that she is in a semi-coma state...while your soothing voice might help...I don’t think getting agitated by what she says and explaining things to her will do any good at this point.”

Harm thought about what the nurse told him. It made sense. He resolved at that point to not get caught up in what she was saying so he could respond, but to learn what she was thinking and feeling. Another outburst from Mac got his attention.

“Why do you hate me Harm?...”

“I don’t hate you Mac...sssshhhh I”m right here....”

“I went with you to Russia twice and I backed you up when you were on trial the first time...but when I needed you, you were with Bobbie Latham...you didn’t even know my voice!”

“Listen to my voice Mac...I’m right here....sssshhhh...you need to be calm....let the medicine work...”

“Then when Mic left, you told me to come to you...I did and you turned me away because of Renee...and then I came to you and Catherine Gayle was there...and she’s in your office touching you...is the baby your’s? Is it?...”

“No Mac...we’ll talk about Catherine’s baby later...Sssshhh...easy...”

“Are you involved with Alicia?”

“No...I’m with you Mac...always and forever with you if you’ll have me....”

“I needed you to hold me in Paraguay but, no...you had to dash off to play hero and fly a plane...you shot at me! Why? Why Harm? Why can’t we work it out?” Mac was crying uncontrollably. Harm tried to take her in his arms, but fear of hurting her prevented it. He settled for holding her hand and soothing her brow while smoothing her hair from her head and away from the bump and bruise that reminded him of the accident.

2200 Local Naval Medical Center Bethesda, Maryland

“Get away from me! Get him out of here! Out!” Mac tried sitting up as she screamed.

“Who Mac? Who do you want out?” Harm asked hoping she would respond to his voice.

“You...you...Son-of-a-bitch! Get out!” Mac’s hands formed a fist that began pummeling Harm’s chest.

“Mac...stop...it’s okay...”

“Not okay...you walked away...you left me...”

“I’m right here Mac.”

“Get away from me!” Mac screamed as she thrashed on the bed.

“Commander?” the doctor addressed Harm as they came in during one of Mac’s tirades.

“Yes?”

“Why don’t you step out while we check her over?”

Harm gratefully took a break while the doctor and nurse examined and tended to her needs. Harm stepped out and called Bud and Harriet. It was late, but he knew they would want to know. He also called General Creswell.

“Creswell.”

“This is Commander Rabb. I’m sorry to bother you at home and on Christmas Eve sir, but I thought you should know that Colonel Mackenzie is in the Emergency Room at Bethesda. She’s been in a car accident. I don’t have the details on what happened, as I’ve been with her. Colonel Mackenzie doesn’t have family sir, and she had asked me several years ago to hold her medical power of attorney...and she was asking for me.”

“You stay with her, Rabb. I’ll make some calls and see what I can find out. How serious is it?”

“They’ve got her drugged for the pain and her reaction to pain killers isn’t great. They’ll have a better idea when this stuff gets out of her system and when they get the tests back.”

“Stay with her. Keep me posted if there are changes.”

“Aye, aye sir.”

Harm returned then to Mac’s room.

“Commander Rabb, we’ve emptied the Foley bag which may have been causing some of her agitation as it was full. She does seem to be resting more comfortably.

“Thank you.”

“Go ahead and have a seat with her again.”

Harm sat and took her hand in his once again. He held it against his lips.

2300 Local Naval Medical Center Bethesda, Maryland

Every now and then she would cry out his name and sometimes he thought she was asking ‘Why not me?’ but he couldn’t be sure.

“...baby...want baby....” Mac’s voice was so soft he could barely make out the words. The first hour had been exhausting hearing her throw accusations and plead with him to be there for her...and ask why she hated him. His touch had finally gotten through on some level and for about fifteen minutes she had rested peacefully. During the second hour, she had ranted and raved at him and used her fists to beat on him.

Now she was talking about a baby. Harm knew that she had always wanted to have children and he had envisioned her as the mother of his children for over five years...but that dream was fading for Mac. The diagnosis last spring of endometriosis had forced her to put that dream on hold until they knew if the treatments were working. Harm had tried to stay positive for her, but she had pushed him away saying it was too much too soon. Now her pleas for a baby broke his heart.

“...have to keep my promise to Harm...can’t...no baby...”

“Mac...ssshhh...we have time...sssshhhh...”

“Everyone was having babies...I should have too...”

“You might still be able to have a baby, Mac...we don’t know yet. It will take time.”

“Don’t have time...time is running out...”

“No Mac...no time limits remember...you’re still young enough...there’s still a chance...what ever we have to do, we’ll do it.”

“Harm?”

“Right here...”

“Where did you go Harm?”

“I’m here Mac...”

“Why do you always let me go?”

“Because that’s what you tell me you want.”

“You won’t fight me on it...”

“I don’t want to fight with you.” Harm kissed her forehead and held her hand in his. He didn’t know what else to do about it.

“You don’t care...don’t care...”

“I care Mac...”

“I don’t push him away! Do I? Harm do I push you away?”

“It’s okay Mac...ssshhh..you really need to rest...”

“I don’t want to be alone! Don’t leave...don’t go...don’t walk away from me...no....no...No....No!...NO!”

“Sssshhh...please Mac...relax...it’s okay...I’m here...you are not alone...”

“But if I can’t have a baby I’ll have nothing...I’ll be alone...you’ll walk away like the others have...”

“No...I won’t Mac. You can count on me...I promise...”

“You keep your promises...but I don’t think I can keep my promise to you...”

2400 Local Naval Medical Center Bethesda, Maryland

The fourth hour the mumbled words that had replaced the wild rambling and anger continued. Her grip on his hand was more gentle, his name sounded like a plea instead of a curse and she appeared to be resting more comfortably.

He had almost dozed off when he heard his name sounding almost normal.

“Harm?”

“Merry Christmas, Mac...I’m right here. How you feeling?”

“Like I forgot to eject and should have.” Her attmept at humor was encouraging.

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah...what time is it?”

“Screwed that clock of yours up, huh?”

“Don’t know...just checking...is it really Christmas Day?”

“Technically I guess it is. It’s zero-zero-thirteen.”

“Thanks...why don’t you go on home?”

“Because you need me here.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“I know...but you asked for me, and you got me and now you’re stuck with me until I decide its time for me to leave...I’ve listened to you before and you gave me hell for not standing my ground...I’m not taking any chances this time.” He smiled trying to reassure her.

“Okay.”

“You’re going to let me stay then?”

“Yes...I don’t want to be alone Harm...I...oohhhh,” she groaned bringing Harm to his feet.

“Mac, what is it?”

“My stomach really hurts...mmmmm....cramps...oooooooohhhh”

“Let me get the doctor, Mac.”

“Don’t leave me Harm...”

“I won’t...” Harm reached for the buzzer and pressed it repeatedly trying to get the doctor in the room without having to leave her.

“How we doing?” he asked as he breezed in with the nurse behind him.

“She’s in a lot of pain again. Can she have the milder pain medicine yet?”

“Yes...but let’s see how things are looking first.”

Harm was a bit concerned about the doctor checking her over with him in the room because he didn’t want her exposed against her will to him or anyone. However, she wasn’t releasing his hand and he didn’t have much choice. The doctor was careful to keep her lower body covered with the sheet when he pulled up her gown to check her stomach. Harm blanched at the bruising he saw there.

“Doctor, she was treated last May for some damage to her uterus and fallopian tubes. She’s been on medicine to correct the problems as she really wants to have a baby...has the accident created further damage?”

“We did some exploratory surgery when she was first brought in. There was no internal damage and it looks like her treatments have worked beautifully and having a child is a really possibility. The longer she waits, however, the higher the risk of a reoccurrence of the endometriosis.”

“That’s good news...but we need to get her over this hurdle first...she’s complaining of pain and cramps.”

“The cramps are from the exploratory we did. Also we had to put in a catheter and the Foley bag could be getting full again, because we’ve been pumping fluids into her with the IV medications. If its getting full that could be contributing as well. Nurse...” the doctor indicated what he wanted and the nurse made sure it happened. “I’m hearing intestinal sounds so we can probably remove it anytime,” he continued.

“Uh...I’d better go while you do that.” Harm blushed furiously.

The doctor saw how tight Mac was holding Harm’s hand and he chuckled. “I don’t think she’s going to let you leave. Just turn toward her face. This will only take a second.”

Harm bent low over Mac, and spoke quietly in her ear, “Ssshhh...it will get better in just a few minutes Mac...hang in there, Marine...hold my hand and squeeze until it lets up.” Harm began to regret his words, but soon after he felt her release his hand just a little. He knew her pain was lessening.

“Commander Rabb...I think she’ll see less and less pain now. She needs to be quiet for the next few days but I think we have some serious bruising and not much more. If her vitals stay stable and she is able to get up and use the bathroom on her own I can probably release her in a couple of hours. Does she have someone that she can stay with...or that can stay with her?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. See if you can get some rest and I’ll check back in about two hours. Oh and I forgot to tell you, a Detective Holland is here to see you.”

“Can you have her come in?” Harm asked.

Harm checked Mac again and relaxed when she seemed to be asleep again. He straightened as Detective Holland from NCIS entered the room.

“Good to see you again Rabb. I was instructed to check out the crash site and give you a full report.”

“And what did you find?”

“It looks like the Colonel was traveling too fast and missed the turn. She had a tape in her player of a session with a psychologist...like she was trying to prepare herself to face a challenging situation. We checked and there were no signs of sabotage.”

“Where did it happen?”

“She was on a rural road in Virginia heading back toward Washington, D.C. Her airbag saved her life...she’s a lucky woman.”

Harm listened intently to what Detective Holland had to say, with one eye and ear on Mac. After she left, Harm said a silent prayer as he sat by Mac’s bed.

Mac had a history of running away to something when things got too much for her. He had feared he had pushed her to far to fast about their relationship when he first heard about the crash. Since hearing that she was heading back toward Washington, D.C. he felt that this time she hadn’t been running away...but maybe had been running back toward something - or someone. He sighed as he watched her sleep. For once she seemed peaceful.

0630 Local Naval Medical Center Bethesda, Maryland

“Harm?” Mac’s weak voice reached Harm’s ear and brought him out of the sleep he had finally found in the chair beside her bed about three hours ago.

“How you feeling?”

“Sore...and I need to use the rest room.” Mac bashfully admitted to him.

“Good...the doctor said that had to happen before he could release you. Let me get the robe and help you get your land legs.” He helped her adjust the robe over her arms and then helped her to swing her legs over the edge of the bed, keeping the sheet pulled over her legs until she could stand up. He guided her while she carefully walked toward the bathroom, glad they had finally removed the IV’s the last time they checked on her.

At the restroom door she assured him she was fine and closed it. He could hear her movements and listened for any sound of distress. When she opened the door again, he saw fresh tears rolling down her face.

“Mac, what is it? Are you in pain?”

“Yes...no...I look so awful...” She stepped toward Harm and he opened his arms to embrace her carefully.

“You’re alive Mac...and that makes you pretty damn beautiful in my eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yes...I’m sorry I upset you yesterday Mac...I didn’t do anything intentionally...”

“It’s alright Harm...we’ll talk later...just hold me a minute, okay?”

“Very okay.” He could feel her body shake as he held her. “Cold?”

“Yeah...gowns a bit drafty...”

“Let me see...”

“No...the robe helps...”

“Ready to get back in bed?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll help you...”

“Harm?”

“Yes.”

“If they let me go home...I don’t have anything to wear...”

“Would you like me to go get you something? Yes...but I won’t be able to stand anything tight...”

“Making plans to leave us Colonel?” asked the doctor as he breezed in.

“Yes.”

“Let me suggest that you wear what you’ve got on and wrap some blankets around you for warmth. It’s cold out there and you won’t want to wear anything snug around your waist for a week at least. You were very lucky, Colonel...you have a concussion from the bump on your head, but there doesn’t appear to be any long lasting damage. Your bruises and cuts will heal. I understand your car was totalled, but the airbag and seat belt saved your life...of course the airbag is also what caused most of your stomach pain. Just to be sure, after reading your medical records, we did some more exploratory surgery and I am pleased to report no internal damage and the endometriosis has reacted positively to the medication. You have a very good chance of conceiving, as long as the endometriosis doesn’t reoccur.”

“I do?”

“Yes...of course, usually when it stops the remission is only for a one to two year period. If you want a baby Colonel, I’d stop the medicine and get started on it in a couple of weeks when your bruises heal. Now, your papers are signed for you to go home. I want you to take two weeks off from work. You can go back limited duty the third week and full duty after that if you have no further complications. Oh and I don’t want you alone all day for a week. You need to rest. Let someone take care of you.”

“Yes doctor.”

“Take her home Commander Rabb. The nurse is on the way with the wheel chair...hospital policy...”

“Thank you doctor.”

CHAPTER 10

Saturday, December 25, 2004

0914 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

After a stop at Mac’s apartment to pick up Christmas presents from under her tree and to pack some of her clothes, Harm had taken her to his apartment at her request. The elevator in his apartment held a great appeal as she wasn’t up to taking the stairs at her own apartment.

She had told him what she wanted and where to find it. He tried to ignore some of the articles he packed for her. He was amazed that everything was exactly where she said it was...so different from the way her desk at work had been organized when they first started working together. He chuckled at the memory. With two large suitcases packed - one of clothes and personal items - the other with Christmas presents from under her tree - Harm rejoined Mac in the SUV.

While he fixed their breakfast, Mac went in to take a shower. She came back out dressed in an emerald green velvet robe and matching emerald green furry slippers. Her was hair combed back from her face, still wet from the shower. Harm immediately went to turn up the heat and turn on the lights of his Christmas tree that Mac had helped him decorate.

He placed the scrambled eggs, toast and coffee on the table in front of her. She sat with her back to his bedroom so she could see the Christmas tree lights.

“Harm, thank you for being there for me.”

“Your welcome...Mac...last night...you were out of it for awhile and I...uh...you...uh...said some things that made me wonder.”

“What kind of things?” Mac asked in a hushed tone.

“If you can ever forgive me for not seeing how much you needed me sometimes when you had to take the backseat to one of my obsessions.”

“Have I become one of your obsessions, Harm?”

“You are more then an obsession...the only one that matters anymore.”

“Harm, you said to tell you when I was ready to talk.”

“Are you?”

“Yes. I wanted to talk last night...I was on my way to meet you at the wall when I crashed.”

“I didn’t go.”

“To the wall? Why?”

“I was on my way when I got the call that you had crashed and were asking for me.”

“Harm, I’m sorry. I know how important it is to you.”

“You’re more important.”

“But Harm...”

“Mac...I can go to the wall anytime. It doesn’t matter...it will still be there. I almost lost you last night... I can’t replace you...I tried...won’t work.”

“Catherine?”

“Yeah...she wouldn’t have me.”

“Alicia?”

“No...Every woman since Jordan was a reaction to choices you made...Alicia just brought me an interesting case to work on - which kept my mind busy while I waited for you.”

“I saw her kiss your cheek and I saw you taking her out to dinner.”

“She kissed me and she treated me to dinner. We were working on the case. Renee was because you were interested in Mic. After Paraguay, I thought Catherine might take my mind off you and Webb.”

“I drove you away.”

“Can you ever forgive me for all the rotten things I’ve said to you?”

“I can’t remember any of them, Harm...at least that didn’t have a basis in truth.”

“You didn’t drive me away...not permanently anyway.”

“There’s so much I want to say to you and I can’t find the words right now...” Mac yawned.

“It’s okay Mac. We can do this a little at a time. Feel up to unwrapping some presents.”

“Yes!”

“Okay...you go get comfortable on the sofa and I’ll bring all the presents over to you. We’ll do Christmas now, together.”

Harm and Mac sat side by side on the sofa opening gifts. He opened the gift from Mac and grinned.

“Very classy...I like it Mac. As a matter of fact, if you are up to going out New Year’s Eve, I’ll wear it when I take you out.”

“I thought the colors made it kind of unique...there’s actually another gift here that goes with it.”

“Oh?”

“There it is...that little box.”

Harm picked up the small box and opened it. Inside was the tie tack that declared, ‘My Best Friend.’

“This is wonderful Mac...”

“You are you know...my best friend...”

“Right back at you Mackenzie...you also are the most beautiful woman I know...Now open this one.” Harm picked out the small jewelry box that was carefully wrapped by his own hand.

“Oh Harm...it’s beautiful...put it on me...please...”

Harm picked up the delicate gold necklace with the three diamonds that cascaded one under the other from the delicate gold chain.

“It’s suppose to represent that we have a past, a present and a future, Mac.”

“We do...and its’ beautiful..thank you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. She saw the flare of desire in his eyes which he quickly banked, followed by the blush that crept into his cheeks.

They both received framed pictures, shirts/blouses, sweaters, and scents. Mac’s perfume came from Bud and Harriet this year as did Harm’s aftershave.

When all the gifts were opened, Harm saw Mac fighting to stay awake. “Go crawl into bed and get some sleep, Mac.”

“I will...will you join me?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t...please?”

“You go ahead and when I get this cleaned up, I’ll be in.”

Mac reluctantly went up the three steps into his bedroom. She pulled back the covers on the left side of the bed and crawled in. She heard Harm humming as he picked up and worked into the kitchen. She was going to call to him and find out what he was doing, but she was just too tired.

In the kitchen, Harm prepared the turkey for the oven and put it in to roast while they slept. Once it was in, he headed for the bedroom. Deciding to shower first, he stripped down in the bathroom and after drying off, he pulled on pajama bottoms and crawled into bed beside her. She curled into his warmth and within moments they were both sound asleep.

1529 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm sat quietly strumming his guitar and picking out Christmas carols. He had slept for four hours and then gotten up and dressed and put in the rest of the dinner. He was expecting a call from Mattie this afternoon and he didn’t want to wake Mac until she was ready to wake up. He knew from experience that injuries healed faster if the body gave them time and rest. Glance at his watch again, the phone rang. He grabbed it before it finish ringing.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas Harm!”

“Hey Mattie...Santa good to you?”

“Of course...but then you were too...and Mac. Thank you.”

“Do you like the charms?” Harm asked, a little uncertainty in his voice.

“I love it Harm...its perfect...I can add memories to it for years...” Mattie’s voice was filled with emotion as she spoke.

“I loved my gift too Mattie. Thank you.”

“Giving you a picture of us together wasn’t too weird was it...I mean, Jen, you and I were family for awhile...”

“It’s great Mattie...and the picture frame was very unique,” Harm told her.

“But did you llike it?” Mattie asked.

“Of course I do,” Harm reassured her.

“I found it at a thrift shop and I liked the old style frame and the engraving on it...’Forever and Always’ - just like what you wrote to me.”

“Mattie...I think that frame is an antique...and you got it in a thrift shop?”

“Yes...”

“Well even if it’s valued at ten cents, I’ll always consider it priceless...but I think you could have stumbled on an antique with some value to it.”

“Cool! Will you have it priced?”

“Do you want me to do that?”

“Yeah...hey Harm?”

“Yes?”

“Is Mac with you?”

“Yes.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Well, she’s sleeping...she was in a car accident last night...she’s going to be fine...”

“Harm! What happened?”

“She went off the road and hit a tree. I was at the hospital with her until early this morning.”

“Tell her thank you for me...”

“I will.”

“Are we still going to be able to get together for New Year’s...Chloe, Mac, you and me...I already know that Jen probably can’t spend it with us.”

“You’re right...she won’t...but we can see her. She just can’t stay with us anymore.”

“So where are we going to stay?”

“Probably Mac’s...She has a sofa that makes into a bed.”

“Okay...I’ve got to go...we’re going to Dad’s brother’s house for dinner...I hate them...but I’ll behave.”

“Good for you, Mattie. See you in about four days.”

“Merry Christmas and thanks again Harm.”

Harm hung up the phone and then heard a noise like a whimper coming from the bedroom.

“Mac? You okay?” Harm asked as he rushed to the bedroom to check on her.

“Harm I hurt so bad...” Mac’s voice was shakey as she tried to answer him.

“Just relax and stay warm Mac.”

“I can’t...I’ve got to get up and go...now...but it hurts to move.”

“Okay...let me help you...” Harm eased his arms behind her and lifted her up, wincing with her when she moaned in pain. Once he got her on her feet and into the bathroom she dismissed him.

“I can get it from her, Harm...thank you.”

“I’m calling the doctor.”

“Harm...I’m stiff and sore...you don’t have to call him.”

“Yes. I do.”

Mac rolled her eyes knowing she would lose the battle, so she gave in.

“Dr. Chen, Commander Rabb. I’m calling about Colonel Mackenzie.”

“How can I help you?”

“She’s in a lot of pain...stiff, sore, achy.”

“That’s to be expected. Has she been still for two or more hours?”

“Yes.”

“Then have her get up and move around. She should limber up and feel a little better soon. She can also take a couple of Advil for the discomfort is she isn’t have trouble with any bleeding.”

“Thank you Dr. Chen. Merry Christmas.”

“Same to you.”

Harm went to the kitchen to get Mac some juice and the two Advil. When he heard the toilet flush and Mac returning to the bedroom, he went to meet her and offer her the Advil and juice.

“Dr. Chen said this should help with the pain if you aren’t having a problem with bleeding.”

“No...I’m fine. The cramps are gone too. They were worse last night then before.” Mac told Harm.

“You feel up to sitting up and talking for awhile?” Harm asked.

“Yeah..and do I smell turkey roasting?”

“Yes Ma’am!”

“You spoil me.”

“Oh...Mattie called and she said to thank you. She loved her presents and she’s looking forward to spending time with us and Chloe. Think you’ll be up to hosting the party?”

“Sure...Mattie and Chloe can share my room...and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I’ll spend as much time with you as I can and come back here at night.”

“Good...because we’ll need some girl time.”

“You got it Mac...and Thank you.” Harm kissed her cheek. “You know, we have some other things to talk about.”

“Like what?”

“First, are you aware your car was totaled?”

“No!”

“Yes...but the insurance should give you a decent down payment...you going to get another Corvette?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve been thinking about trading anyway...maybe in a couple of days I’ll feel up to looking for a new car...want to come with me?”

“Are you asking for my help?”

“No...but I’d like to get something that you’d be comfortable riding in.”

“And...”

“And just having a man with me the dealers will take me more seriously...and I know you’ll let me make my own deal.”

“Yes, I will.”

“I’m thinking about something that’s sporty, but practical at the same time. Acura has a new car out but its probably way out of my price range. But maybe, if I can get a decent price...I saw one that was sporty looking even though it was a four door - and it was all wheel drive...and if I...you...um...if we move forward with our deal, I’ll want a car with a back seat.”

“No mini-van?”

“Not until the baby is older or the family grows...” Mac blushed as she and Harm locked gazes...the doctor really said I have a good chance of having that dream didn’t he?”

“Yes, Mac...he did...but he also said soon...”

“I know.”

“Mac, there’s something else I’ve been thinking about...I don’t know if you are ready to hear what I have to say, but I need to say it.”

“Go ahead.” Mac encouraged him.

“Mac, when I made the original deal with you, I - ah - thought that things would be very different...I thought we’d have gotten to a place where we would be dating and get engaged, and plan a wedding...but now...I feel like I’d be rushing you if we were to do that...and that’s not what I want either. The only thing I know for sure, is that it would kill me to move forward with our deal and not have a life time commitment between us. I want to be in my child’s life all the time. I want to be in your life all the time...” He stopped and held her hands gazing into her eyes. “Mac, I want to be married to you when we...conceive our baby.”

“I’d like that too Harm.”

“Are you saying you’ll marry me?”

“Are you asking?”

“Yes.”

“Then ask me...” She fought to hide a smile.

“Sarah Mackenzie...I love you...Will you marry me?”

“Yes...” Harm quickly wrapped Mac in his arms hugging her and as quickly let her go when he heard her gasp and he remembered how sore she was.

“I’m sorry Mac...I’m so sorry,” Harm pleaded for forgiveness.

“Its okay Harm...can you settle for a kiss for now?”

“Yes.” Harm leaned over her and placed his lips against hers. He nibbled and tasted her lips and then leaned back and smiled.

“What? You look like the cat that ate the canary?”

“May be I am...”

“Harm...” Mac’s voice took on a warning tone.

“Do you remember what I told you when I asked you to help me pick out my car the same time you got your new one?”

“Yes...when I asked if Jordan shouldn’t go with you, you told me that was as good as giving her an engagement ring.”

“So if I go car shopping with you...are you going to give me the engagement ring?”

“No way, Flyboy! I’ve waited too long for this day. But Harm...I don’t want a big flashy ring...and I think that if we suddenly show up engaged, no one is going to believe it anyway.”

“Do you want to go with me to pick it out?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...on one condition.”

“What?”

“I get to pick out five rings for you to choose from, and I’ll tell the clerk which one I think you’ll pick before you see them.”

“And what if I don’t like any of the ones you pick out?”

“Then you’ll give me a lesson in your taste in jewelry.”

“Okay...deal.”

The timer went off on the oven, and Harm went to get their dinner on the table, while Mac enjoyed the pampering and the prospect of marrying this man while at the same time thinking about the sudden shift in their relationship. Despite the desperation she felt that lead to her taking off and running away until common sense and the tape she made at the last visit with her psychologist turned her around and brought her back toward Harm; despite the car crash that could have ended her life or any lingering hopes of having a child; and despite the soreness of her body and the exhaustion she still felt, it was a wonderful life and an excellent Christmas.

“Harm?”

“Yes Mac?”

“Did I tell you I love you too?”

“No...”

“I do!”

“Guess that makes us even.”

“I have a favor to ask of you though.”

“What is it Mac?”

“I don’t want to wear your ring for awhile.”

“Why?” Harm’s face fell as she spoke.

“Harm, I want to marry you and everything...but I think we need to at least be a couple officially and date or something before we announce we’re getting married.”

“It means that much to you?”

“Yes, Harm , it does.”

“And we are no going to keep it a secret that we’re seeing each other?”

“No...I don’t care you knows that we’ve got something going and we’re moving forward.”

“And do you think we could announce our engagement around Valentine’s Day?” Harm asked as he gently held her to him.

“I think that would be very romantic and appropriate, Harm.”

“But can we put the wedding on fast track after that?”

“Yes...we can even elope...if that’s what you want.”

“What do you want?”

“A small wedding with family and our closest friends.”

“You’re right Mac...it is a wonderful life and a wonderful Christmas,” Harm smiled as he kissed her again under the mistletoe making plans to do this often and all the time.

THE END

AN: Watch for the sequel “A Wonderful New Year.”