Title: Reaction to US

Author: Hollyjp

Summary: Mac said “us” and implied she didn’t want to be away from Harm. This gets them both thinking an anticipating things to come.

Spoilers: As usual anything up through the newest episode and spoilers gets thrown in with my own speculation.

Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.

REACTION TO US

October 29, 2004

2038 Local

Helicopter over the Atlantic

The helicopter had just lifted off the Hennessy carrying Mac and Harm back to the carrier in the battle group where they would transfer to a COD that would take them back to Andrews. Mac had visibly relaxed when she heard that Creswell was not going to be the new JAG. There were so many things that Harm wanted to talk to Mac about, but the helicopter was not conducive to any conversation so he put his head back and closed his eyes. It would be at least forty minutes until they reached the carrier and if he didn’t do something he’d irritate Mac by staring at her or saying something stupid.

His protective streak was in high gear when it came to Mac, and he knew she resented it. She felt that as a Marine she could stand on her own two feet and anyone that even hinted that she couldn’t came in for a heavy duty reality check from Sarah Mackenzie herself.

Harm smiled. He loved the name Sarah. He knew it partly had to do with his grandmother but it was more then that. He loved the sound of the word and the way it felt in his mouth when he said it. It was a two syllable word that could be made to sound sophisticated, romantic, or sexy. It fit the one sitting beside him to perfection, and yet he rarely called her by her given name. She had adopted Mac because it wasn’t any of those things. The name Mac gave the image of someone that was no nonsense, tough, practical and logical. The woman he knew was all of those things...and tonight for the first time she had let him see that she was beginning to understand that he knew she was all of those things and that a name didn’t change how he saw her. When she had let it slip that she needed him. He forced himself to remain calm and give her the ability to stay and face him.

“He could separate us...” the words she spoke had hung in the air between them when she tried to explain why the new JAG made her nervous. At first she hadn’t looked at him and then when he remained quiet and waited, she had dared to look up and meet his eyes. The look she saw there told her that he heard it and that the earth wasn’t going to open up and swallow her as a result of making that admission to him.

“You’ve changed a lot since then Mac...maybe he has too. Give the guy a chance...” Harm was talking about Creswell but he knew he was also hoping that she could find it in herself to give him another chance as well. A part of him wanted to beg her to give him a chance...to let him show her that he had changed...but she already knew that and remarked on it to him about two weeks ago. Harm sighed as he realized that until she was ready to take a risk on him again, he could only keep doing what he was doing. Being there. Sometimes silently...sometimes applying pressure very lightly and steadily while watching for signs that he was going too far and needing to back off and recoup before pressing on again at another time.

Harm had stopped fighting the little things...like taking her arm or touching her back to guide her when they walked. Things he had done years ago without a thought became taboo when his feelings for her and interest in her had changed.

He thought back to the first time he realized that he saw his partner as a sexy woman that he wanted. It had shook him after years of assuming his interest in her was as his best friend...someone he liked, respected, cared about, and could have a long term relationship with. Then he had hit his head and for a few days he couldn’t stop imagining her dressed in sexy clothes or little more then a towel. He knew then that what ever was between them was a hell of a lot more then he had been willing to admit to previously. From that time on he had been careful about touching her until that night on the Admiral’s porch.

They were there to celebrate her engagement to Mic Brumby and yet they both had escaped the party and spent most of the evening talking on the porch...until he had lost it and grabbed her to him kissing the daylights out of her. He knew he shouldn’t have told her he would always love her but when he had lost it and kissed her he had been sure a lightening bolt would strike him. His guilt might have got to him but her hand had brushed his hand several times while Harriet was promoted and even during the toasts and well wishes in honor of her engagement to Mic.

He had tried to apologize the next day for getting carried away and crossing the boundaries of friendship. She had brushed it off and told him that she had too and assured him they were okay. He had tried to explain that he just wanted her to be happy and she had challenged him and asked even if that meant with Brumby. He’d had to bite his lip to keep from saying what he wanted to say. Back then he had snorted and changed the subject. He knew that if had known then what he knew now, he would have been honest and told her that he would live with her decision but before she made it she needed to have all facts in evidence.

Now things had happened that made this woman so much more fragile in many ways and stronger in others. Harm had mishandled the time following the broken engagement. He knew it now. Sometimes he felt that the shock of Bud’s accident was the reason for the turmoil and other times he knew it was just because he had screwed up.

He had failed at building a relationship with his half brother, Sergei, and it had eaten at him for awhile. He had tried to make it up to his brother when he had been convinced that Loren Singer was carrying Sergei’s child. He hadn’t handled that well either. Thinking back he had experienced a run of making poor decisions, which had compounded itself.

Harm had thought that he had time to work things out with Mac, and so had let other things draw his attention away from them. As a result he had ended up in the brig where he had time to do a lot of thinking. He realized then that the one thing he wanted to focus on was the one thing that made him happy and feel like there was hope for the future and that was Mac. He loved Sarah Mackenzie and although he wasn’t sure what to do about it, he knew he wanted to explore their relationship and that it was going to come first - be a priority. Then came Paraguay.

When Mac had come to see him and tell him she was leaving he had wanted to plead with her not to go...but he couldn’t say the words that would force her to stay...she was as duty bound as he had always been. That was when she told him that he was only interested in her when she wasn’t available. He had wanted to deny it but he knew why it looked that way. He couldn’t find the words to explain to her that she was wrong and that in fact he only showed interest when he had a weak moment and allowed his personal desires to come before duty, honor and loyalty.

Harm knew his poor judgement had continued with the entire Paraguay situation...but he couldn’t risk not trying to find her. Nothing else would matter if he didn’t try. He had been incredulous when Chegwidden had denied him leave. He could understand having to be careful about the Navy’s position but denying his request for personal leave, seemed out of character and cruel. Harm knew he would do whatever he could to find Mac and bring her home. He certainly hadn’t counted on the spy falling for her or her falling for the spy...and he wasn’t sure that either of them had. Instead they formed a bond forged out of trauma and despair. Harm might have been able to handle things better without a head injury, but that was not to be. They had crashed and his head had been slammed by several branches and the impact of the landing. Mac had come out of it relatively unscathed physically, but it was another blow to her emotional stability. Now more then ever she needed someone to lean on a little but Harm wasn’t there for her emotionally after seeing the interactions with Webb. So Mac had built a wall to strengthen herself as she operated on adrenaline and fear.

Harm’s reality changed when Chegwidden didn’t take him back. He was once again emotionally unavailable to anyone. He had nothing to offer Mac and she was consumed with whatever it was that was there between her and Clay. When Mac had told him that there could never be an us, he had accepted her declaration because he couldn’t think or reason it out. Later he was afraid that they would continue to hurt each other if he didn’t keep some distance between them while he figured out what he wanted, how he should go about accomplishing it and then began executing his plan.

After he started working for the Agency, he had not returned her calls, because he was afraid the anger he had would come out toward her and he was not angry at her. He was beginning to understand a few things, and knew that they were both confused and had a lot to work through. He was just beginning to realize that he needed to change how he did things when the television crew captured him and the agency responded by letting him go. Financially he didn’t need to work right away, but emotionally he needed to have something to do that he did well and could feel useful.

That was when he had found Mattie Grace. She needed him and he needed to be needed. He had even tried to convince Catherine Gayle that she and her baby needed him. Thankfully she had seen right through him. Her rejection would have stung if he had really cared for her. The fact that they shrugged it off and spent a few hours just talking over dinner, dessert and tea that evening told him that he wasn’t emotionally invested in a relationship with her.

While he enjoyed being paid for flying as well as the challenge of crop dusting, he knew that he needed something more to be fulfilled. He was almost ready to look into starting a private law practice when Mac had shown up at his door asking for help. That had in turn opened a door for him to return to the Navy. He knew that was what he wanted...to finish out his twenty years and have another chance to work things out with Mac. And then he had realized just how much Mattie needed him and he had put her first. As he learned how to deal with Mattie he learned more about why Mac was the way she was...and why he was the way he was.

While Mattie and Mac both grew up with alcoholic fathers, and without a mother, Mattie’s situation was different from Mac’s. For Mac she heard empty promises when she was growing up. The words and the promises never panned out but the words were always there, so she kept believing that this time she would be told the truth. She learned to only believe or rely on herself. Yet, the pattern was so ingrained into her she honestly believed that if someone said they loved you they must and as long as you did the right things, they would be there for you and you wouldn’t be alone. If you didn’t do things right, or love them the way you were suppose to then they would be taken away. No one had shown her true love and caring and she didn’t recognize the little things as anything more then what a friend would do for another friend.

Harm grew up knowing that things happened beyond your control and that you had to accept them if you couldn’t control them. He had also learned that actions spoke louder then words. His mother said she would always love his father but when his father hadn’t come home she had turned to someone else to love and nothing Harm did could change that. He began to accept that actions and words didn’t match and therefore words couldn’t always be trusted. He had just started trusting words when he began to see how words could be used to influence people. He learned to use words as a lawyer and he was good at it, but in his personal life he only used words if he was going to speak the truth. The truth was every thing. Somewhere he began to internalize the concept that people he trusted would only speak the truth.

Reading the psychology books and learning about the effects of alcohol and trauma on an entire family helped Harm to figure out what he was doing and after hours of self reflection while playing the guitar, running or cycling he had been able to recognize the patterns of his own behavior and make some conscious changes. One of the most important changes was how he dealt with Mac. He had started to understand why she reacted to certain situations the way she did. For a year he hadn’t been certain what kind of relationship she had with Clay. He couldn’t control what she ultimately decided but he could let her know that there were options. He also could point out what he thought motivated her comments at times.

Harm knew that Mac wasn’t particularly promiscuous but he also knew that it was how she showed someone how she felt about them. When she had suggested that they have an affair five years ago in Sydney Harbor, it had been her way of showing him she cared about him. That was before he had accepted that he thought of her in those terms, although he knew he cared about her and he saw them having a future together. She in turn figured if he must not care for her if he didn’t want a physical relationship with her. His kiss on the porch had confused her because while it spoke to his desire for her, the words didn’t exist and she needed the words. Then after everything when they had started putting things back together the kiss under the mistletoe had happened. He had purposefully kept it light.

Harm had started to realize this past year, that Mac didn’t always say what she wanted or needed. He told her she hedged her bets and played it safe. He started to realize the night she had told him that he didn’t fight her about saying there would never be an ‘us’ that the thing between them was still there. When she showed up in court and spoke on his behalf to the judge in regards to his ability to be a parent, Harm had realized that she had been hiding her feelings from him and that her reaction to his request to speak for him was more about letting her real feelings show then him not telling her about Mattie sooner.

Every time she lashed out at him, he started to figure out why and confront her with his theory. He stopped trying to tell her what she wanted but made it obvious he would accept her decision. Slowly Mac stopped being mad at him all the time and started letting him closer, letting them be friends again. By the time Sadik reappeared she couldn’t hide the fact that she cared for Harm, but she had gotten herself into another relationship with a man that made promises that he couldn’t keep. She hung on for all she could at that point, but every now and then she had let something slip that told Harm she still cared about him.

Harm had learned that changing his actions and being less predictable made more impression on Mac. When she had asked him if he was trying to push her into Clay’s arms, instead of denying it or affirming it, he gave her something to think about by telling her the truth. “If you really loved Clay, then it doesn’t matter what I want,” he told her as he walked away. She hadn’t expected that. He had used words not to argue or lie or make a promise, but to make a statement that was so true it made her think and wonder.

He also noticed little things and commented on them. No one else noticed when her back bothered her, or if they did they didn’t say anything. Harm did. He expressed concern and after it went on for months he took care of her. He called the doctor to get an appointment and did what he could to make her comfortable without invading her space.

Every day he saw the circles under eyes getting darker and she appeared thinner. She was still beautiful but her skin even seemed to be more transparent. She let him know that things weren’t going great with Clay, but that he had made her a promise. The first two days the gifts arrived, she was thrilled. Harm had slipped a little then letting his disdain for trinkets show when they were being sent as a replacement for something real and meaningful...but then they had stopped.

Harm’s heart had broken for her when she had arrived at his door to announce that Clay was dead. His first reaction was that he had faked it again, but Mac was adamant that he must be dead because she couldn’t feel him. Harm had wanted to hold her and comfort her then, but settled for holding her hand and asking what he could do. She had told him that he was doing what she needed for now.

When Mac had finally admitted that she had needed to have a procedure done because of the pain in her back Harm had kicked himself for not being there for her. She needed someone and Harm wanted it to be him that was there for her. As the evening wore on Harm had become more and more concerned about Mac. He knew that one of Mac’s issues was wanting children but now with Clay out of the picture, and the five years being up, he didn’t want her to rush into something or look else where when he was willing to modify the deal. So he had reminded her of the anniversary of their promise had told her that it was good for anytime she was ready.

The look on her face still haunted him. He feared he had gone to far at first, but she had turned to him and told him how most men just passed through her life - except him. “Will you always be there for me?” she had asked and his simple, “Yes.” spoke volumes. She had told him more about the procedure, then and her new fear that she’d never be able to have children. He was glad he had taken the risk and that for once, she had turned to him and let him in.

This was something that neither part of the person she had become was use to and Harm wanted to make sure he didn’t screw this up. At first he had gone overboard, but when she had told him it was just too much too soon, he had relaxed a little and focused on the little things. He would call to check in; stop by her office to see if she wanted her coffee refilled; bring her leftovers for lunch - compliments of him and Mattie. She rewarded him with a smile sometimes. Then Clay had reappeared.

Harm had found that whole situation almost too much of a challenge. When he had found Clay on that beach he had wanted to kill him with his bare hands for what he had put her through, but Mac’s safety came first. They had devised a plan quickly to stop Tanveer and save Mac...but Tanveer had out maneuvered them until Mrs. Webb had shown up. Afterwards Harm had helped Mac to her feet. He had fought the urge to fold her into his arms and just hold on. He had watched her walk away with Clay. Eventually had been able to excuse himself to wait on the beach. She had announced that she and Clay were done. She couldn’t handle the lies and the fact that he would sell out anyone for the mission.

Harm had asked her if that was what she wanted and she had said she didn’t know. He had offered to let her talk it out with him, but she had claimed that there was too much to deal with. So he had stood up and told her to let him know when she was ready to talk and had walked away down the beach. He gave her the control she wanted or needed while letting her know he was there for her.

Slowly Mac was dealing with things. She was now at the point he had been almost a year ago he estimated. She was beginning to understand how what she did and said effected how other people reacted to her.

Today on the Hennessy when he saw her reaction to Creswell’s name he knew that she would worry herself sick if she didn’t get it out on the table. He knew that she had only started getting a good nights sleep this past week and didn’t want her to have a set back if it could be avoided. Later when she let it slip that she was worried about being separated from him he had schooled himself not to over-react. He knew that Mac wasn’t ready to discuss their relationship or move it to another level...it was enough to hear her say she didn’t want to be separated from him. She needed him the same way he needed her. They were family whether she knew it yet or not, that’s what they were.

He saw the carrier deck below and felt the thump of the landing. He unbuckled his harness and gathered his things. Mac did the same thing. He knew she was relieved that a last minute change had resulted in someone else being chosen as JAG over Creswell. That relief was short lived when they stepped off the chopper.

“Commander Rabb, a message for you sir.”

“Thank you Ensign Mendez..the COD?”

“Waiting for you and the Colonel sir.”

“Thank you...Come on Mac. One more air trip and you’‘ll be home.” Harm read the note as they approached the COD. “Uh-oh...Mac?”

“What?”

“Another message from Bud...at the last minute Creswell won them over. He’s in the office tonight.”

“Great...”

“Mac, we need to give him a chance.” They boarded the COD and fastened their seat belts as the doors were secured. They were catapulted into the air the very second they were in.

Once airborne, Harm looked at Mac. “Let’s not buy trouble...you’ve done a good job at JAG and if he knows what’s good for him, he’s going to see that and accept you for the Marine you are.”

“But what if he can’t get past it?”

“Mac, I know you’re worried and those feelings are real...but what can he do to you? It came up in a court of law and the judge ruled that it was too late to take any action. Since then you’re record is clean. You were promoted early to a Lieutenant Colonel. What is it that you are so concerned about...and I don’t buy that it’s ancient history.”

“I’ve got some dings on my record this past year.”

“Like what?”

“I didn’t pay attention and gave opposing council information that was given to me confidentially and it hurt my client.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“It was when you were gone.”

“Well if I didn’t hear about it when I came back it couldn’t have been anything the Admiral considered too serious... Look Mac, you went through a lot this past year professionally and personally, but you did what you had to do and any commanding officer worth his or her salt is going to recognize that and support you.”

“I know that on some level at least, its just...”

“Just what?”

“Admiral Chegwidden knew us so well and understood the way things are between us. He watched this thing we have grow and become what it has become. He would have worked with us so that our relationship would not be an issue at JAG. He would have worked something out like he did for Bud and Harriet...but Creswell, knowing my history, isn’t going to tolerate anything...even the appearance of impropriety and he’ll take action. How are we going to be able to make plans when we are ready?”

Harm took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Are you telling me that you are ready to move on...with me?”

Mac studied her hands in her lap before she looked up at him and locked her gaze with his. She slowly nodded her head yes...and then he saw it...the smile started slowly and he waited encouraging her by smiling with her. At last he saw the light in her eyes and the full smile that he had been waiting to see again for over a year. He reached over to take her hand in his ignoring the fact they were in uniform and there were others on the COD. But she shook it and placed it back in her lap as he turned and sat back in his seat, closing his eyes.

“Your place or mine?” Harm asked her.

“What?”

Harm could hear the panic in her voice and sat up turning to look her in the eyes realizing how his words had sounded. “Calm down...I only met so we can talk and I would like to hold your hand or give you a hug...can’t take a chance on doing that in public in uniform.”

“Oh...I thought...”

“I know...and I do but we’re going to take this a step at a time until we are both ready and we are going to make sure that our new commanding officer isn’t going to have grounds to take action.”

“Harm, if we move this forward...”

“When, Mac...when...not if.”

“When we move forward, one of us will have to leave JAG and I have some ideas.”

“No running Marine.”

“No...but if Creswell has a problem with me, then I could look for a billet at Quantico, the Pentagon, Capitol Hill...there are several options right there in Washington.”

“Yes, but don’t forget, I’ve been a Commander for five years and with my time away, I’m not going to see another promotion. I’ve changed designators too many times, resigned my commission, and have even more recently then you been reprimanded. I don’t have many more years to serve the Navy regardless of how many locations I consider. I’ve thought about other possibilities as well. NCIS would probably take me as they don’t care about rank. Then there’s private practice...”

“Harm stop...I don’t want to think about us not working together.”

“It won’t happen right away Mac. Promotion board doesn’t meet until next spring which is when my name will appear on the years-in list. Let’s give the new guy a chance and give ourselves a break.”

“Thanks Harm...”

“For what?”

“Calming me down...not making fun of my slip...just helping me to think it through.”

“No problem Marine.”

They talked about a variety of things during the remainder of the flight to Andrews. Mac knew he was anxious to check on Mattie so she suggested they stop by his place first and then she could get a taxi or take the train home later. He agreed to stop at his place first, it was closer, but he insisted that he would take her home when it was time.

They left most of her things in his car, but she did bring up her overnight bag that had a clean change of civilian clothes in it...slacks and a top. While Mac changed, Harm was going to let Mattie know he was back. As he turned to leave the apartment he saw the note on the door. He opened it and read: Harm, I’m in Blacksburg this weekend. I forgot to tell you before you left. I’ll see you Sunday night probably. Love, Mattie.

“Something wrong?”

“No. Mattie’s father picked her up and she’s spending the weekend with him down there.”

“Bothers you to think about her leaving doesn’t it?”

“Yes...I try not to, and I wanted her to repair her relationship with him. He’s not a bad guy and he deserved another chance. He made some mistakes...big ones but he also tried to set the things straight that he could. If he could have brought his wife back he would have changed places with her in a heartbeat.”

“And Mattie had the fortitude to work through everything with him, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks to you. She was as angry as I was at first.”

“Yes.”

“But you helped her through and you’ve helped me through.”

Have I?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Harm, what were you going to do when we got back here?”

“Oh yeah...” he started walking closer to her. “I wanted to hold your hand but I couldn’t because we were on the COD.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes...I wanted to give you a hug.” He felt her step into his space as his arms wrapped around her. Still standing like that he heard her ask him, “Anything else?”

“Are you ready for more?”

“I think so.”

“Stop me if I go to far Sarah.” Harm heard a little gasp - almost a sob - when he used her given name. He looked into her eyes and moved his face closer to her, lowering his lips to hers. He closed his eyes then and savored the feel of her lips moving against his. Harm held her a little tighter and deepened the kiss letting his tongue seek entrance into her mouth. She stopped him there, but he could feel her heart hammering inside her and knew she was as excited as he was. When they finally stepped apart, Harm knew that he had to take her home and come back here alone or he would keep pushing her until he lost control. They weren’t ready for that yet.

As they traveled across town, Mac told Harm, “I remember Creswell as a man of few words...in and out of the courtroom. Maybe that’s why you bowled me over with your eloquent speeches in those early days. Anyway, I think I remember him being a man that believed in the truth - like you do and I won’t be surprised if you two get along and Sturgis and Bud have a problem with him.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you know I think a lot of Bud...but when he gets stuck between two difficult choices and he knows the people involved, he tends to support the one that he thinks will be the most influential in his career. With all the difference that he and Sturgis have had since the beginning, while Sturgis has been in charge, Bud has practically lived in his pocket. And we both know that Sturgis has developed some personality traits that are hard to take at times for whatever reason.”

“Yes. You know I haven’t gotten over the way he spoke to you last spring...”

“Is that why you are so angry with him?”

“I’m not angry, but I felt his comments were uncalled for and I thought he was rigid and biased at times. He has always leaned that way - I think because of growing up a preacher’s kid he’s always felt the pressure to be better-morally and instead of being tolerant he’s become more judgmental. I guess it back fired for him.”

“He’s not done that bad a job as acting JAG Harm.”

“I know...but there are issue between us that have perhaps magnified the problem.”

“Us as in you and I or us as in you and Sturgis?”

“Both maybe. Look Mac, I do want to talk to you more about this, but not tonight. That okay with you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...I’ll walk you to your door.”

Harm walked Mac to her apartment and kissed her goodnight as if they had just been on a date. “Talk to you tomorrow...”

Mac watched him walk away before she went into her apartment and closed the door. She was ready for a long soak in the tub.

0015 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

Despite the lack of sleep, Mac wasn’t ready to go to bed. She needed to think about the most recent developments in her earthquake of life. Stripping off her clothes as the tub filled with water and vanilla scented bubbles, Sarah Mackenzie stripped away the tough Marine exterior; the need to be strong and in control; and the person ruled by the structured military life she lead. As she stood naked in front of the mirror, the woman was allowed to appear. The one that sometimes wanted and needed a man to lean on; the one that could dream; the one that could imagine having a life of love and happiness with the handsome man that had been her working partner and best friend in the good and bad times over most of the last nine years. Here in the safe world of her home and behind closed doors in her bathroom she could be the soft, sexy, woman she wanted to be with Harm. Slowly she stepped into the tub and lower herself into the warm vanilla scented heaven. She leaned her head back onto the tub pillow and allowed the warm water to seep into to body.

It only took a few seconds for the aroma therapy and the bubbles to work their magic. She could still feel Harm’s lips on hers and the way her body had come to life in his arms. She touched her breast trying to imagine what it would feel like if Harm touched her like that. She thought about his large strong but gentle touch. She could still feel his hand on her arm when he stopped her on the frigate after they had first heard about Creswell. She tried to imagine that hand on her breast and immediately her nipples reacted. Standing erect they peeked through the soap bubbles at her. Sliding a little deeper into the water Mac thought about the time that Harm had seen her in a tub of bubbles. It was not a good time in their lives, but the memory of the look on his face and the desire in his eyes, could still warm her.

“I had forgotten how beautiful you are...” he had told her when she asked him why he was looking at her the way he was. It had been one of the few times that Harm had even hinted that he desired her. She had seen that look in his eyes tonight. It didn’t frighten her. Blurting out that she loved him and finding out that he was only interested in a role in the hay frightened her.

Dr. McCool had worked with her to help her understand that Lt. Colonel Sarah “Mac” Mackenzie was the same person in or out of uniform. That while in uniform she had to behave in a pre-determined manner in most situations, there was still a part of her day and a place in her life where she could let the other side of herself show...the side that was Sarah...feminine, sexy, needy at times, giving at other times. It was the civilian side of her that could pick bold colors, or pastels.   She had also helped her to understand that she had choices and regardless of what she wore she alone had the power to decide which part of her she would use in any given situation. Even when in uniform there were times she could be a woman and when she was in her frilliest dress she could be tough. It had taken awhile for Mac to reconcile the two parts of her personality again. Somewhere in the last year she had lost the balance that she had lived with before.

It had been during one of the sessions when they had talked about her history with men, and Harm in particular, that Mac had discovered how different Harm was with her then any other man. First of all it didn’t matter what she had done or said, Harm eventually found it in himself to forgive her and put it in the past. Secondly, no matter how she flirted with him, Harm didn’t take advantage of her or the situation. Third, Harm accepted her word - her decision- and honored it. No other man had done that, accept maybe John Farrow. That day Mac realized for the first time what Harm had really been saying to her on the ferry in Sydney Harbor that night.

FLASHBACK

“They wrote eternity in lights on that bridge on New Year’s Eve.”

“Is that how long we’re going to wait?”

“Location doesn’t change who we are Mac.”

“Some men would disagree with you, you know.”

“I know...I disagree with me too sometimes.”

“You’re this only this way with me, aren’t you?”

“Only with you.”

“I guess I should be flattered.”

“You should be, Sarah.”

END FLASHBACK (to Sydney Harbor)

For the first time she understood that he was trying to tell her that she was special; that what they shared between them was unique and needed to be handled differently and with special attention so that it wasn’t damaged or mishandled. Dr. McCool had asked her if she still felt he was telling her he wasn’t interested in her.

“No...he was telling me back then he was falling in love with me. If he hadn’t cared about me...about us...then going to bed with me would be no big deal.”

Now as she relaxed in the tub another thought came to her. When Harm had promised to go halves on a kid with her in five years if neither of them were in a relationship, he had been making a commitment to her. He hadn’t made a commitment to Jordan which prompted her to leave. He hadn’t promised Renee marriage though she had come right out and told him and everyone that would listen that she wanted to marry Harm and have babies with him. Harm had even offered to move the time table forward for her if that’s what she wanted she remembered.

She sighed and added some warm water to the tub and a few more bubbles. Harm had made a commit to her five years ago. He knew he had to grow up and he knew that he needed to change things in his life even back then. But as he had matured into the man he was today, she had stalled in her growth. In fact she had become childish and petulant at times. She had taken her unhappiness out on him. She had assumed that he was chasing every pretty girl that batted her eyes at him. But not Harm. He had decided what he wanted and he was waiting for her to remember that she wanted him too.

Mac had been so sure that Alicia Montez had caught his interest. She had been obvious in her interest in him: kissing his cheek in public; wearing low cut v-neck blouses; giggling; whispering in his ear; holding his arm as they walked while looking up at him adoringly. When Mac had gone to his house that night to talk to him about some things, and Alicia had been there, she had seen the ‘you’re intruding’ look the woman had given her. When Harm had asked if it could wait, she had been mortified and back away trying to get out of there before he could see her tears.

Two days later she had learned, thanks to Mattie, that there had been two people there that night having dinner with him and Mattie while they discussed a case they were trying the next day. It had been nothing more then a working dinner to him. Mattie had also told Mac that he had seemed distressed about the way she had left his apartment and had tried to call her even before they left. Mac had felt foolish for jumping to conclusion and made a decision to try to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Mac washed her hair and rinsed it and then began to use her loofah sponge on her body. The rough texture on her sensitive breasts again instigated fantasies about what it would feel like to rub her breasts against Harm’s chest hair.

She had only seen him with without a shirt on once...the first time they thought Clayton Webb had died. She had insisted that she stay in his apartment to watch out for him that night. During the night she had accidentally disturbed his sleep. She had been cold and he had gotten out of bed and come into the living room wearing only his boxers. He had turned up the heat in the apartment, but it had been the heat from his body that had really warmed her up. She had stared at that muscular chest of his and had to use every bit of strength in her not to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head against him. He had gone back to bed then, while she had cleaned his gun to give herself something to do besides run her hands over that hard warm chest of his.

Mac smiled as she thought about the other glimpse she had been treated to that night. While boxers covered a lot of skin, they could be a bit see through if the light was just right. They also had a tendency to gaped open at times. Harm and Mac had worked and traveled together in many situations even in the first year or two. She was pretty sure he was well built, but that night the boxers had revealed more then he realized. It was an imagine that Mac had never forgotten and one she wanted to see again.

Now she closed her eyes and let the image take shape. She allowed herself the fantasy that had lurked in the corner of her mind all these years creating more sexual tension between them then anyone probably realized...especially Harm.

Her hands became his hands as she caressed her soapy wet body starting with her lips and neck and then her shoulders and breasts. Fingers played with her hardened nipples and the palms of her hands massaged the full globes of her breasts. Slowly her hands wandered further down her body. A finger traced her navel and then slid into the tiny patch of curls that remained covering her mound. She felt the fingernail lightly tease her inner thigh and the muscles there trembled reacting to the touch not the owner of the hand.

Mac tilted her head back and arched her spine, lifting her breasts from the water. She slipped her fingers into the inner folds and found the bud of nerves hidden there. She played with it until her hips began to lift and thrust making little waves in the tub. She wished she had been brave and daring and purchased a vibrator or something at some point in her single life, but had never needed to - always finding a willing specimen to satisfy her sexual needs. She used one hand on her breasts and the other to stimulate herself. She heart was pounding and her breath was coming in gasps when the phone rang. She had brought the portable into the bathroom with her and left it on the commode.

“Hello?”

“It’s me. Thought you’d want to know I made it home.”

“Harm...I - ahh...thanks.”

“Are you in the tub?” Harm had heard the water splash in the background.

“Yes...I was just getting out. Hold on.” Mac set the phone down and wrapped herself in a towel before grabbing the phone again.

“Sorry...what were you saying?” Mac asked, glad he couldn’t see her or the way she was blushing.

“Kind of late to take a bath isn’t it?”

“I just felt like taking one. They help me relax and sleep - usually.”

“So you ready to crawl into bed and get some sleep after your relaxing bath.”

“You have no idea...” Mac smiled thinking how he would react if she told him what she had really been doing.

Harm had been home over half an hour when he had called. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. For some reason he just knew she wasn’t asleep yet and had decided to indulge himself and listen to her voice again before he tried to sleep. Holding her and kissing her had put ideas in his head tonight and he was having more trouble going to sleep at night without finding some release. Cold showers had stopped working when he knew that she was seriously thinking about fulfilling the baby deal with him at some point in the near future - if she could.

Although he knew that it was possible that she could chose to go with a scientific method to conceive their child, he hoped she’d be willing to try conception naturally first. The anticipation of making love with her left him in various states of arousal most of the time lately. He had often resorted to carrying his cover, brief case, a jacket, anything he could in front of himself so as not to embarrass anyone. He hadn’t had a problem like this even as a teenager. Harm could hear her moving around as they talked and wondered if she was crawling into bed.

“Are you in bed?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“That was fast - tub to the shower in less then two minutes.”

“I - ah - yeah.”

“Talk to me Mac. Something’s bothering you isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Have I ever told you that your voice is very sexy on the phone?”

“No.”

“It is...I could listen to you all night.”

“You sound different tonight.”

“What do you mean, Mac?”

“You voice seems...huskier...softer...I’m not sure how to explain it.”

“Aroused?”

“What?”

“I’ve been told that my voice changes when I’m aroused.”

“Oh!”

“I’ve been thinking about you...does that bother you?” Harm asked.

“No...I’ve been thinking about you too.” Mac let her hand skim her breast again before resting on her stomach. She had toweled off and slid into bed naked, pulling the comforter over her for warmth.

“I enjoyed kissing you tonight.”

“Is that why...never mind...”

“Is that why I’m aroused?”

“Are you?”

“Some...kissing you and thinking about what I want to do to you does that to me I guess.”

“Me too.” Neither spoke for a second. Mac thought, “Oh God! I’ve done it again and blurted out something I wasn’t ready to share with him.”

“I’m glad.”

“You are?”

“Yes...and one of these days I’m going to find out what makes you feel good and what makes you satisfied.” He heard her gasp and smiled to himself. He had never teased her like this, but had decided it was time. If they were going to make a baby naturally, they needed to find a comfort level with each other in dealing with sex.

“Do you think I can satisfy you, Harm?”

“Oh yes,” his voice was even huskier when he spoke this time. He didn’t think she was ready to know that he was stroking himself as they talked but the effect her voice and his hand was having was building.

“Carolyn Imes tried to get Jordan to tell us what you were like in bed one time.”

“She didn’t...” Harm couldn’t believe Jordan would have said much, but then again, he had been in a highly emotional state during most of the time they were together. “Don’t believe every thing you hear.”

“That’s too bad. She said you were warm and generous and knew how to make your partner feel good.”

“She said that?”

“Yes...what did you think she would say?”

“I’m not sure. So now you have an idea of what to expect when we do get together...don’t you think I should know what to expect?”

“Maybe...but I’m not talking.”

“Not fair, Marine....”

“You’ll find out soon how wild I can be...but only if I can go now.”

“Good-night Sarah.”

“Good-night Harm.”

They both hung up the phones they were holding, feeling even more frustrated then before. That night in two apartments, in two parts of Washington DC, two people - one man and one woman - sought release alone in bed at their own hand pretending it was the hand of the one they loved that was touching them. Both vowed to end the loneliness soon.

*****

Monday November 1, 2004

0750 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm dropped his things in his office before heading to the kitchen to see if the coffee was ready. It was and Mac was already there fixing her cup.

“Hey Mac...”

“Morning Harm...”

They looked at each other feeling a bit unsure of each other, each one wondering if the other had re-thought their position since Friday night when they had returned from their assignment. Each one thinking about the intimate way their conversation had gone when Harm called to let her know he had safely returned home. Mac was looking at Harm with a new awareness this morning. She had thought about his question from Friday night several times over the weekend. He had basically told her that thinking about her turned him on. She hadn’t thought he thought of her like that and had in fact been certain that he didn’t find her attractive after all these years. Having him admit to her that he was aroused and knowing that she would listen for the tell-tale huskiness in his voice from here on out was a heady feeling.

Before the silence became uncomfortable they were summoned to the new JAG’s office.

“Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie are here sir,” Petty Officer Coates announced to General Creswell.

“Send them in.” He watched as the naval commander and Marine Lt. Colonel came to attention in front of his desk. He studied them a moment as he quickly recalled their files. “At ease. Have a seat.” As soon as they were seated he flipped open a case file and began.

“I know you both returned late Friday night from an investigation in the Atlantic, but I need to send the two of you to the Middle East. There is a situation brewing there and while I’m not sure both of you are needed to handle it, you each have skills that are vital to the success of the mission. Colonel Mackenzie, your language skills are again going to be vital to getting the information from the Iraqi’s you will need to interview. Commander Rabb, your refusal to give up until you’ve found the truth is legendary and while I don’t know you, that’s the scuttlebutt and its what is needed on this case. I’ve been informed that the two of you make an effective team and while you don’t always agree you get the job done. Is that a fair assumption?”

“Yes sir.” Harm and Mac answered in unison.

“Commander Turner had indicated that although you both can be difficult to work with, you enjoy working together. I don’t care whether you like working together or not...I do care that the job gets done right. Here are the files. Review them and be ready for transport dressed in civilian gear in three hours. Fastest route is a commercial flight out of Dulles to Naples, Italy. From there you’ll catch military transport to your destination. I expect to hear from you within twelve hours of your arrival in Kerkuk, with a status report on your findings to that point. Questions?”

“No sir.”

“Dismissed.”

Harm and Mac executed a sharp turn and exited Creswell’s office.

“Mac why don’t I pick you up at your place in about an hour, seeing as we’re suppose to check-in two hours before departure.”

“Why don’t we have get a driver to pick us up so we don’t have to leave either car at Dulles?”

“Okay...”

“Harm, you go...it’s going to take you longer to get home then me. I’ll call for the driver and we’ll pick you up.”

“Alright. See you in about an hour.”

Harm returned home and changed into a tan suit with a black shirt. He left a note for Mattie and Jen before re-packing his sea bag. He locked his apartment and stepped outside just as the car pulled up. The driver got out and helped him with his bags while he settled in the back seat next to Mac.

He noticed her gray skirt and jacket with the contrasting red blouse she wore. She looked the consummate professional ready to step into the courtroom or board room at a moment’s notice. When he saw her dressed this way, it was hard to believe that she could look equally as comfortable in BDU’s with a pound of sand covering her.

Once at the airport, they checked in and were then shown to a waiting area normally reserved for business men. Coates had pulled some strings while booking their flight and managed to get them up-graded to business class which meant more leg room on the flight and work space while they waited.

“This is nice. Remind me to thank Coates for managing to pull this one off,” Mac told Harm.

“Good idea. So did you pick up on any vibes with Creswell this morning?”

“No...don’t you find it curious that we were just out and we got sent out again instead of Bud or Sturgis or anyone else?”

“No...I suspect the general asked the forming acting JAG who he was considering sending out and Sturgis would have told him us.”

“Why would Sturgis do that?”

“I don’t know Mac...to keep us out of his hair? To let him have a chance to influence the new JAG?”

“But won’t that work to your advantage at least...and maybe mine?”

“Talk to me Mac. What are you thinking?”

“I’m not sure...but Sturgis doesn’t like heat coming his way...he doesn’t like his calm, peaceful existence ruffled...and you, Commander, ruffle existence,” Mac teased.

“Do I ruffle your existence, Colonel?”

“Yes...sometimes you do...but I’m use to it and I know how to control you.”

“Oh really? And how do you control me?”

“I make you see reason...I point out your weakest areas and use them to make you listen to me.”

“I see. I’ll have to watch you more closely Colonel Mackenzie...and then turn the tables on you.”

“You wish ‘Flyboy,’” Mac continued to needle him.

“At least it gives me an excuse to watch you...thank you.”

“What...Harm, I didn’t mean it...”

“Too late, Colonel...I’m not taking my eyes off you,” Harm grinned prompting Mac to smile back at him.

They finally were called to board the plane and Harm offered Mac the window seat.

“No, go ahead. I’d rather take the aisle seat if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” Harm slid into the seat after putting their carry on bags overhead.

They settled into their seats and buckled the seat belt while they waited for take off. As the plane began to taxi and then pick up speed, Harm felt Mac’s hand gripping his arm which had been resting on the armrest between them.

“Ah...Mac....can you let go of my arm...take my hand instead,” Harm offered.

Mac readily released his forearm and grabbed his hand.

“Mac, I don’t remember you being this back taking off in military transport. Relax.”

“I can’t...I think it’s the uniform...I know I have to act a certain way in uniform but when I’m in civilian clothes I don’t have that support to rely on. Sorry if I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. We’re up now Mac...should be smooth flying for most of the trip...but you can hold my hand as long as you want,” he proposed.

“You’re too agreeable...I’m fine now.” Mac released his hand and leaned back in her seat.

“So Mac...did you finally get some sleep Friday night?”

“Yeah..You?”

“I did...I almost called you Saturday, but luckily I took care of laundry and got groceries so Mattie will be set seeing as I got called away so soon.”

“I did try to call you Sunday,” Mac admitted.

“Did you? I didn’t have a message.”

“No I didn’t leave one.”

“What did you need Mac?”

“I just thought I’d see what time Mattie was getting back...I thought the two of you could come over for dinner.”

“That would have been fun...I ended up going down to Blacksburg. Tom needed some help with a plane and I was able to meet Kevin before I brought Mattie back.”

“Oh...the boyfriend...how did that go?”

“Well I didn’t have my gun with me, but I mentioned it a few times.”

“Harmon Rabb - you didn’t!”

“No...but I had told Mattie I was going to so every time I started saying any thing that began with ‘g’ or ‘sh’ she almost panicked.”

“Harm that’s terrible...mean!”

“Mattie knew I was just kidding...and so did Kevin. He’s a good kid. His father retired from the Air Force last year. They moved to Blacksburg to be closer to Kevin’s maternal grandparents.”

“And you approved of the boy?”

“For now...”

They talked about little things for the first hour or so. Then Mac decided to take out a book to read, while Harm closed his eyes. When he opened them over an hour later, Mac’s head was resting against his arm and her hand rested on his thigh. He picked her hand up in his larger one and studied it.

Slowly Mac became aware of her hand being held. She opened her eyes and looked to see it resting in the Harm’s. She shifted her eyes upward and saw him looking down at her hand resting in his. She smiled just a little. She had to admit, at least to herself, that Harm had changed and that in fact for the last few months, he had been charming and even cute about the way he was there for her. He had vowed he would be and while she knew he would never make a promise he couldn’t keep, she had been afraid to hope that this time she could let him in and they could get things right.

Slowly this man had set to proving her wrong, and that in fact ‘us’ did exist and always would in one form or another. It was at that moment that Sarah Mackenzie knew her defenses with this man were gone and that in order for her to live a full and happy life she had to stop playing games and let Harm know that they were finally on the same page.

“Harm?” Mac murmured.

“Did I wake you?”

“No...Next time we have a chance to be alone and ummm, a chance to explore us...I’m ready. I know now that I’ve been putting off the inevitable. I want you Harm...”

“Your timing stinks, Mac...even if we are in uniform I’m not going to risk doing what I want to do...” Harm spoke lowly, his voice gravelly.

Mac smiled, “Your voice sounds aroused Harm...”

“Yeah...I wonder why...” he smiled at Mac to take any sting out of his words as he shifted in his seat trying to get more comfortable. “Behave yourself or we’ll both be embarrassed,” Harm sputtered as her hand returned to his thigh and her fingers began to inch up the inside of his leg.

Mac retracted her hand and they shared a smile. Content in knowing that they were both committed to making the relationship they shared work for them.

Friday November 5, 2004

1430 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

“Mac, I’ll drop these in my office and then meet you at yours so we can go together to debrief with Creswell.”

“Okay...Oh my God!”

“What? Mac, what’s wrong?” Harm turned back to her at her exclamation expecting to see shock at the very least on her face. Instead he was greeted with a smile.

“Look,” she commanded glancing up again.

Harm turned to see what had her attention, and there above the office next to hers, was the name plate, Commander, Harmon Rabb, Jr. Harm slowly looked around the corner and found his things almost exactly like they had been over a year ago before they had been packed up and moved out.

“Creswell?” Harm muttered wondering who had done this.

“No sir, Commander Turner arranged this,” announced Petty Officer First Class Jennifer Coates as she approached them.

“Why on earth would he have done that?” Harm asked no one particular.

“I think its his way of apologizing to you Harm,” Mac suggested.

“Ma’am. Sir. General Creswell is waiting for you in his office. Be sure to knock.” With her announcement delivered, PO Coates returned to her desk.

Setting their things down they quickly approached the General’s office and knocked on the door.

“Enter!”

“Lt. Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb reporting as ordered sir!” announced Mac as they came to attention.

“At ease. Have a seat...” Creswell watched and waited as they took their seats in front of the desk.

“I was impressed with the work both of you did during the trial as I watched it on the ZNN feed.”

“Thank you sir.”

“I trust you found your office, Commander Rabb. Are you okay with this?”

“Yes sir...Sir, I am curious as to why the change.”

“I believe Commander Turner felt that it was a sign of goodwill. I take it that you two have differing styles that tend to create friction more often then not.”

“You could say that sir.”

“Tell me Commander, do you find it difficult or cumbersome to do the paperwork required of your job?” asked Creswell.

“No sir, not as a general rule. I will admit that I would prefer conducting investigations or being in the court room, but filing briefs, submitting after action reports, keeping the files up to date are all part of my duties and I take them seriously.”

“Colonel, what about you?”

“It’s part of the job sir, I job I enjoy I might add.”

“I see. Commander Turner led me to believe that you both had a dislike for paperwork and it was a struggle to complete. Why would he say that?” asked Creswell.

“Well sir, recently Commander Turner, as acting JAG, was piling on the additional assignments to a high level. I believe that he was taking it upon himself to make sure the office was in top shape when you took over. He ran a tight ship and as you might have noticed we have been short staffed. We all pitched in to get things done, however, we were also carrying full investigative and trial loads. We couldn’t always make Commanders Turner’s time lines.”

“I see. Do you resent Commander Turner for being appointed acting JAG by the SecNAv?” Creswell’s eyes bored into Harm as he waited for an answer.

“No sir. As I told Admiral Chegwidden, our former CO, after sitting in for him as acting JAG a few times and as a judge, I felt that my talents lay in investigations and as an attorney and that Colonel Mackenzie is much better suited to either roll.”

“Are you saying that Lt. Colonel Mackenzie is not a good investigator or litigator?”

“No sir! Colonel Mackenzie has shown a high level of skill at all aspect of her job, sir. I consider myself fortunate to have been able to work as her partner.”

Creswell eyed both of the senior attorneys in his office. What he was seeing and hearing first hand, backed up what he had gotten from Chegwidden’s reports. He decided to push one more issue before making a final decision on these two.

“ I understand that you resigned your commission last year in order to rescue Colonel Mackenzie while on a CIA mission, and that you were later reinstated. I’d like to hear what you have to say about this situation, Commander...and then your view Colonel.”

“We had both worked with Clayton Webb with CIA on cases before he tapped Colonel Mackenzie for that mission. When she let me know she would be going I was concerned because he has a reputation for not thinking things through completely and needing to be bailed out at the last second. When we have worked on missions together, we were able to cover each other and salvage the mission. I was concerned because Colonel Mackenzie would be going in alone this time. We got word that Webb and the colonel were missing. I asked the admiral to send me down there so I could look for them. He denied my request. I then asked for leave so I could go down there on my own. He denied my request again. I knew that part of the reason was because of potential political implications. I also knew that I could not live with myself if I didn’t do something. Having worked with a Navy Seal and a Marine for so many years as well as my personal code of honor, I could not just let it go. I believe that you don’t leave your team behind and although it was not an assignment given to me, Colonel Mackenzie and even Webb were part of a team I had worked with over the years. I felt that I had to do something, and given that I didn’t have a wife or children relying on me, unlike some others in this office, I was the likely candidate to go.”

“And so you disregarded you commanding officers orders to do this?” Creswell asked.

“Yes sir, as a last resort. The Navy has been my life, but past experiences and instincts told me that if I didn’t go, then at least two good people would be dead.”

“Would you do it again?”

“As a last resort, yes sir I would...but what I would do differently is have a better plan and I would look into more options first. I also know that if I had been even a couple of minutes later arriving, Colonel Mackenzie and Clayton Webb would have died.”

“Colonel?”

“Yes sir. I was strapped to a table and they were ready to electrocute me when Commander Rabb arrived. He and Gunnery Sargent Galindez managed to rescue us and while the Gunny got Webb to a hospital, Commander Rabb and I were able to take out the missiles.”

“Yes...and I understand you took out the terrorist months later when he showed up in the area.”

“Yes sir.”

“Why were you reinstated?”

“Admiral Chegwidden was short staffed and decided that I was more benefit to the Navy then moving into the civilian sector, so after telling me to grow up he informed me he would request I be reinstated. They had my records changed to show that I had been TAD with the CIA for a period of time between Paraguay and my return here.”

“You worked with the CIA too?”

“Yes. They wanted to utilize my pilot skills.”

“Well, Commander Rabb...Don’t make a mistake and think I would take your resignation lightly...but I commend you for taking action. I may have done something similar and I am not likely to agree to any joined efforts between CIA and JAG so this issue won’t come up again. I also feel I might have handled that situation somewhat differently from my predecessor which is neither here nor there. I respect people that make decisions and that learn from their experiences and take responsibilities for their actions. You strike me as a man that does that.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Colonel Mackenzie, you’ve been quiet through out this discussion. Do you have anything to say regarding Paraguay or Commander Rabb?”

“Yes sir. While Commander Rabb was with the other agency, it became painfully obvious to those of us here, how much he did for us in this office.”

“How so Colonel?”

“He was a sounding board for taking out our frustrations; he bounced ideas off us and encouraged us to do the same with him; he encouraged, guided and pushed people into his way of thinking - that the truth is everything. He led by example and he had the respect of everyone in this office. He protected many of us by climbing out on a limb with one of our theories so that he could take the heat, but he also made sure that if it worked, the person with the idea got the credit. He has often carried the heaviest load without complaint. While we’ve all teased him about some of the things he’s done to get his point across, I think we’ve all envied him the strength, courage and conviction to do what ever has to be done to get the job done.”

Creswell looked from one to the other and back again. Both officers were keeping their eyes fixed on one another. He had thought that maybe Rabb would be watching her as she spoke about him, but that was not the case. Deciding to try to surprise them and catch them off guard, Creswell leaned back in his chair and asked, “Do you two have an improper relationship that I need to worry about?”

“No sir!” they answered in unison. Harm then spoke first.

“Sir, we have worked together nine years. Anyone that works that long with one person, male or female, gets to know the other person well, maybe almost as well as they know themselves. The point I’m making sir, is that if two people of the same sex became friends after working together almost nine years, no one question it, yet we are constantly being questioned. Yes we are close. Yes we have supported each other in a lot of situations. We even hugged in uniform on more then one occasion. We care about each other. We are friends. Could it develop into something more? Yes sir it could. But at this point neither of us has allowed that to happen. Could that change? Yes sir it could and I hope that it does. It is also my understanding that as long as we are both the same rank and that we act professionally while in uniform and on the job, it is not a problem for us to see each other outside of work. If that is a problem, sir, I would appreciate you letting us know now.”

“And if it is a problem, Commander?”

“Then Colonel Mackenzie and I will have to discuss whether we wish to deny ourselves for our careers or whether one of us needs to request a change so that we can pursue a personal relationship.”

“Colonel?”

“Sir, when I was young, I made some foolish decisions, and I hope that as I’ve matured I’ve gained wisdom and insight. As Commander Rabb has indicated, we have developed a friendship that nothing can tear apart. It is a relationship that I value. We have discussed taking our relationship to another level but have not acted on it because of the complications. It took us a long time to admit to ourselves, say nothing about each other that it even existed. I will not ignore it any longer, but I will refrain from acting rashly and try to find a solution that is right for everyone.”

“I see. Rabb, you seem to have a way of getting involved with people regardless of rank. Is this a fair assessment?”

“I’m not sure sir...”

“Let’s see, so far I’ve heard Coates attest to your interest in her personal life; Roberts credits both of you with much of what he’s become; Chegwidden noted that you often will pick up extra cases because you ‘care about the person and their plight and correcting wrongs;’ and I spoke to an Ensign Tiner about returning to Jag and he said he would be ‘honored to have an opportunity to have Commander Rabb as his mentor’...Rabb do you think getting this personally involved makes you a good leader?”

“I will let you be the judge of that sir. I do think that I am able to help people reach their potential and I hate to see people that are talented and intelligent not using the skills God blessed them with.”

Creswell studied the two officers before him. “I respect people that challenge themselves and those around them. I don’t compromise my principles and from what I can tell neither do you. I expect we will butt heads from time to time. I will not use my authority to stop productive discussions, however, when I give an order I expect it to be carried out. As for the personal relationship you are considering, you are both aware of the UCMJ and military protocol. Keep it out of the office and out of uniform...” Creswell paused and then a small smile cracked his face as a twinkle appeared in his eye and he continued. “I was going to tell you to carry on but that might not be the best choice of words. Dismissed.”

Harm and Mac came to their feet and to attention, both smiling, as they responded again in unison, “Yes sir.”

Once out of Creswell’s office they proceeded to Harm’s office without a word, closed the door and turned to each other.

“That was intense. How you doing Colonel?” Harm asked as he leaned against his desk.

“I’m floored. It wasn’t really what I expected.”

“The man obviously has a sense of humor.”

“It appears so...hang on...my phone is buzzing.” Mac opened Harm’s door and hurried next door to get her phone. “Colonel Mackenzie.”

“Yes, Colonel, I forgot to inform you that we are both due for Marine quals next week at Quantico. We report there at zero seven hundred Monday morning.” Creswell informed her.

“Thank you sir. See you then.”

“And Colonel...I just realized that you and Rabb were both out on back to back investigations. Feel free to secure anytime this afternoon.”

“Yes sir. Thank you sir.” Mac hung up after Creswell did and returned to Harm’s office.

“I have my PT quals on Monday. Want to run with me this weekend?”

“Sure...among other things,” Harm winked at her.

“Behave Commander, or I won’t tell you that we can secure for the weekend when we are ready.”

“I want to print off those reports and get them signed before I secure. I’m not about to hold up getting those reports filed if I don’t have to.” Harm informed her.

“Good idea. Shall I fix dinner tonight?” Mac asked.

“I really need to go home first and find out what’s up with Mattie...why don’t you come over.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“When ever you’re ready. I’ll be about half an hour before I secure.”

“Me too. Okay...I want to go home first and shower and change then I’ll head over.”

“See you later Mac.”

AN: This part is quite intense emotionally and sexually. (Rating jumped to at least an R toward the end of this section.)

1645 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station 

Harm inserted his key to unlock his door and enter his apartment when the door opened to reveal Mattie.

“Mattie! You startled me...I’ve missed you.” Mattie stepped into Harm’s embrace as he set his things down. While holding her he kissed her hair and repeated, “I have missed you so much. I’m sorry I’ve had to be gone so much lately...” Harm felt her pull out of his arms and turn with his back to him. “What is it Mattie?” Harm sensed immediately that something wasn’t right.

“Harm...I’m sorry...but I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m ready to go home to be with my dad. We still have things to work out...but he’s there for me now...”

“And I’m not...or haven’t been the last few weeks.”

“It’s okay...I’m not blaming you and I don’t mind spending the extra time with Jen...it’s just I can talk to you from Dad’s and have him home or be at Grave Aviation with him.”

“Mattie...look at me...please...” Harm stepped behind her and waited for her to turn and face him. He raised her chin and looked into eyes and smiled. “I want you to listen to me very carefully...I love you and you’ve been a joy to have in my life...but its time...if you need me all you have to do is call...and I will see you around...but if you are ready to go live with your Dad then I want you to go. I do not want you to worry about me, or Jen, or any of your friends.”

Harm used his thumb to wipe the tears rolling down Mattie’s face until she buried her face in the front of his uniform and really let the tears come. Harm held her while resting his face against her hair, and shedding a few quiet tears of his own. Slowly her tears quieted and she looked up at her guardian angel and smiled through a few lingering tears.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard. I’m going to miss you and Jen both...and Mac...I won’t get a chance to say good-bye or thank you to Mac...”

“Well, you might...how soon before you leave?”

“Dad will be here anytime...”

“So will Mac...”

“She’s coming over tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Have the two of you worked things out?”

“Almost...”

“You going to ask her to be Mrs. Harm?”

“Mattie...we’re not there - yet.”

“But you plan to don’t you?”

“Yes...but don’t you say a word to her or anyone, young lady!”

“I won’t Harm...” She threw her arms around him again for a giant hug and then looked up and repeated her favor command to her favorite Commander, “Reduce altitude...”

Harm obediently bent down and Mattie kissed his cheek.

“Feel better now, Mathilda Grace?”

“Johnson.”

“Mathilda Grace Johnson...I stand corrected.”

“And yes, I do feel better now. I know Mac will take care of you and you won’t be lonely without me around. Jen thinks she found someone to share the apartment with her, so I won’t have to worry about her either.”

They turned at the knock on the door. Mattie ran to open it, not sure if it was her father or Mac. It was Mac.

“Hi Mattie...everything okay?” Mac asked as she noticed the tear stained face.

“Yes...it is now,” Mattie smiled as she looked over her shoulder at Harm. “Things just got a little emotional because I’m leaving.”

Mac looked back and forth between Harm and Mattie. She spotted the watery shine in Harm’s eyes and noted the forced smile...little things that she didn’t think Mattie would see.

“Tonight?” Mac asked.

“Yes, my Dad’s on his way.,,and before he gets here Mac, I wanted to thank you for everything...talking to my dad and the judge and then bringing me to Harm at the wall last Christmas. I hope you’ll come with Harm to see me sometimes.”

“I will Mattie...and thank you for bring so much joy to Harm. We’ll all miss you.”

“Stop, please...I don’t want to start crying again.”

“Call if you ever want to talk Mattie. I know sometimes when I was growing up with out a mother, I would have appreciated a woman to talk to...call me if you ever want to talk about anything.”

“Thanks Mac...” Mattie hugged Mac and whispered to her, “Take care of him for me?”

Mac could only nod as she was fighting back tears herself. The knock on the door ended the potentially teary moment. Tom Johnson had arrived and Mattie went to get the last of her bags. Tom had taken most of her things back with him when he had come down during the week. He shook hands and thanked Harm, thanked Mac, and then thanked Harm again. Mattie ran in and hugged Harm and Mac each one more time asking them to hug Jen for her and then she was gone.

When the door closed Mac turned to look at Harm. He had sat on the stool at the island and was fighting back tears like he had when they realized Bud would be okay after he lost his leg. That time Mac had rested her head on his shoulder and they had sat side by side sharing the emotions. This time she wrapped her arms around him and cried with him and for him. He loved Mattie as if she were his own daughter and like with any parent that sees there child go off to school or move out on their own someday, there are mixed feelings - pride, love, hope, loss, fear, and worry all roll into one overwhelming feeling.

At that moment, Mac realized something else about her partner and friend. When he loved, he loved deeply and unconditionally. That love was so powerful that even saying the words could be difficult. The hints he had given her over the years suddenly replayed in her mind and with the same clarity that Mattie knew it was time to go home to be with her father, Mac knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Harm loved her with the same intensity and he always would. He had been telling her how he felt for years with those expressive eyes of his and the fact that he did let her in...more then most people. He held himself from her because he knew that to give his love free reign he could overwhelm her. Mac hugged him tighter.

After a few minutes they relaxed their hold on each other and Harm whispered against her hair. “I was planning on tonight being about fun...guess this kind of ruined that planned.”

“It’s okay Harm...but if you don’t mind, I still want to spend the evening with you.”

“You better...I don’t think I could handle two losses in one evening.”

“You could...but you don’t have to and aren’t going to unless you kick me out.”

“Really? I have a captive audience?”

“Let’s say a willing audience...we can talk about anything or nothing. I just want to be here with you.” Mac smiled as he leaned back and looked into her eyes.

“Thank you...let’s get something to eat before your stomach growls and you get nasty.”

“I don’t get nasty, Harm...I just want food.”

“Right...so what would you like?”

“How about Chinese take-out? They deliver...”

“Afraid my cooking won’t be up to par tonight?”

“Maybe a little.” Mac admitted with a gentle smile.

“Fine...I’ll call it in.”

They ordered Crab Rangoon, egg rolls, Shrimp Lo Mein, and Tangerine Chicken. While they waited they set the table and then Mac suggested that Harm might want to change out of his uniform. He took her up on the idea and went to his bedroom to change from his uniform into the snug-fitting gray sweat pants and long sleeve knit shirt. He returned with bare feet and Mac had to swallow and remind herself to breathe when she saw him. She remembered one other time he had worn the same thing. They had been in Russia looking for his father. She swore then he had nothing on under those sweat pants and as much as she wanted to look tonight, she didn’t think she could pull it off and still breathe.

Mac answered the door and paid for their food before Harm had a chance to get his wallet from his bedroom.

“How much do I owe you, Mac?”

“Nothing...I got it this time.”

“Mac, come on...”

“Hey, I got my promotion a few months before you so I’m senior in rank...shall I make an order out of it?” Mac grinned at him obviously teasing.

“Alright...but I get dinner next time.”

“...Or I could think if some other way to extract payment from you...” Mac murmured as Harm gulped and quickly seated himself at the table.

Mac glanced through the glass topped table at Harm’s lap and her smile grew along with Harm’s anatomy. “Have I ever told you how much I like this table Harm?”

He looked up at Mac and then followed her gaze and realized that sitting at the table had not hidden his reaction to her blatant flirting...in fact his condition was noticeable through the glass top table...and Mac had noticed.

“...and I just realized how much I hated this table...”Harm mumbled.

“It’s okay Harm...I’ll be good.” Mac smiled thinking about a time when the two of them had flipped a coin and then crawled under the table to retrieve it. They had bumped heads and while they were down there Harm had promised he would be gentle. Mac had told him not to be gentle...be good.

Mac did behave while they ate and Harm forgot for a while that Mattie was gone from his life. It wasn’t until they were cleaning up afterwards and he spotted a mug that Mattie had given him that it caught up with him again.

“I’m going to miss her Mac.”

“I know...but you’ll see her sometimes and you can call her on the phone. I know how hard it can be...I had to let Chloe go remember?”

“Yeah...and I promised you a baby in five years...”

“And Mother Nature decided to get into the act...I’m sorry Harm.”

“Don’t be...it’s not definite that you can’t have a baby...”

“I know...but maybe things would be different if...”

“If you hadn’t had that condition then maybe you and Clay would have conceived a child...”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“I’m sorry Mac...go ahead.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have taken so long to be ready to try for a baby.”

“Are you telling me you are ready to try now?”

“Yes...with you...if you’re sure...”

“I’m sure...I love you Mac...and I want us to have a child and raise him or her together.”

Mac stepped closer to Harm and placed her hands on his chest as she looked up at his face. “Kiss me, Harm...”

Harm complied with her demands. She felt his lips capture hers and his arms pull her close to him. Mac ran her fingers through his hair and held his head close to her. Their kisses deepened and took on a life of their own. Their hands caressed and touched and removed clothing in an effort to exposed and seek out previously

uncovered skin.

Mac started to giggle as she slid her hands into the waist of his pants. He pulled back and looked at her. 

“What’s the matter?”

“Harm...do you always go commando when you wear those sweat pants?”

“Yeah...noticeable?”

“Yeah - including when we were in Russia!” Harm blushed as Mac proceeded to divest him of the rest of his clothes, but soon forgot any embarrassment in the heat of desire they was exploding around them.

While they kissed, caressed and undressed they moved toward Harm’s bedroom. Breathlessly Harm lower Mac onto his bed and gazed at her as he lowered himself to her.

“I love you Harm...”

“I need to make you mine, now, Mac...I can’t wait any longer...”

Mac opened herself to him and as he positioned himself between her legs, she felt his arousal nudge her and then slowly enter her heat. She gasped at the sensation it created, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer magic that she felt by their joining.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No...I’m fine....”

Harm slowly started to move with in her. He felt her muscles tighten around him and suppressed the desire moan. She wanted to let him set the pace.

“Mac...let go...I want to hear you....” he urged. This time as he plunged into her heat, she let the sounds she had fought back escape. Her primal sounds of mating with whispered words of love from each of them turned the experience into one of wild raw sex that expressed the long suppressed feelings of love they had fought against for so long.

Later as they lay on the bed, still wrapped around each other, Mac was aware of Harm’s lips touching her temple, hair, and face with barely there kisses as if he was afraid she would object. She turned her head so she could look into his face and see those expressive green eyes she loved so much. She smiled thinking that their child might have eyes like his, if they were lucky enough to have the child they both wanted so much.

Harm smiled as he looked into her beautiful face and found himself getting lost in the deep brown eyes looking back at him. Eyes they might someday look at him from the face of their child.

“Do you think...” They both started talking at the same time and they both stopped and laughed. Harm kissed her lips and then said, “Go ahead.”

“I was just going to ask you if you thought it would be a good idea to practice a little more...maybe see if we could top that experience...” Mac asked him. “What were you going to say?”

“I was going to ask you if you thought you were pregnant yet...if you felt different.”

“Yes, I feel different...I feel like it’s the first time I truly made love...But I doubt I’m pregnant on one try...I’m not even sure its during the optimum part of my cycle. Harm..is this just about us having a baby?”

“No! Not for me. You?”

“No...I told you I loved you.”

“And I told you I loved you too. I’ll admit I want us to have a child and I don’t want to wait...but if it doesn’t happen, then as long as I have you in my life I can live with it.” Harm smiled and leaned forward to capture her lips with his once again. He tightened his arms around her and felt her shift in his arms so that she was pressed against him face to face again.

“Harm?”

“Yes?”

“Make love to me again?”

“I’d be glad to...”

And he did twice more before morning.

Saturday November 6, 2004

0930 Local

Rock Creek Park

Washington, D.C.

Harm and Mac had settled into a comfortable pace where they were able to run side by side. The morning air was crisp and cool but comfortable for running as they made their way along the river. They had established a pattern of when to sprint and when to fall into a steady pace years ago and despite the time lapse between running together, they fell into the same pattern without a word.

Harm couldn’t help but smile when they got to the place in the park where Mac split off to the higher road for her sprint, and he took the longer lower road for his all out run. With his longer legs he could cover the longer distance in about the same amount of time she covered the upper trail. They had also tried to be the first one to the spot where the trails intersected and they would fall back into step with one another. Only this morning, Mac didn’t split off...she ran with him even when he picked up his pace.

“New routine Marine?” he asked as she ran with him.

“Yes...”

“Looking for a challenge?”

“Yes...”

“Then let’s go...” Harm picked up his pace even more and although he surged ahead a few steps, Mac picked up her pace as well. When they got to the place where they trails intersected, Harm brought his pace back down as did Mac. They ran steadily but got their wind back before Harm looked at the woman at his side and smiled.

“You have become quite a runner Mac. AJ did a great job converting you from a jogger to a runner.”

“I’ll have you know, mister, that I’ve always been a runner...I just needed a few tips on how to extend my legs to cover more ground...but yeah...he helped a lot.”

“I’ve missed running with you...hell I’ve missed just spending time with you.”

“I know. I’ve missed it too, Harm.” They ran in companionable silence a few minutes longer before Mac added, “I’ve got my PT quals Monday...I don’t want to overdue today and not have anything left when I need it.”

“Want to start cooling down?”

“Yes...we’ve done thirteen miles already.”

“Half-marathon...maybe we should sign up to run one of those this spring,” Harm suggested.

“Maybe...but I probably wouldn’t want to run one if I was pregnant.”

“True...you think maybe?” Harm asked hopefully as they slowed to a walk.

“Harm, it will be at least two or three weeks before we know anything. Some times its closer to five or six weeks before we can be sure. Don’t drive us crazy obsessing on the possibilities okay?” Mac placed a hand on his arm to make sure he didn’t think she was upset or angry or pushing him away. He gave her a sheepish smile and then his face lit up.

“What are you thinking now, Harm?”

“Well, if I assume that it’s not even reasonable to think it could happen yet, then I could focus on trying different things that could help when it is time,” he said as he wiggled his eye brows at her suggestively. Mac burst out laughing and reached to hug him.

“You can be so funny,” she teased. Harm held her loosely in his arms and dropped a kiss on her lips as she looked up at him. They pulled away a little as they heard running feet approaching on the trail behind them. Turning they saw non-other then their commanding officer approaching with two teenagers. A young girl about Mattie’s age in the lead and a boy maybe a year or so older along side him. He nodded and kept running past them.

“His children maybe?” Harm suggested.

“Could be...the boy looked a lot like him. The girl looked like quite a runner. He’s probably getting in a tune up run for quals on Monday as well,” Mac suggested.

“So what’s next...breakfast or a shower and then breakfast?”

“I vote for a shower and then breakfast.”

“You feeling okay Mac?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“You didn’t put food first. I never thought I’d see the day...”

“Any one can change...you said it yourself Harm.”

“I did. So a shower and breakfast it is.”

“How about I drop you off and go home to shower and then when you’re ready you come over to pick me up and we go out for breakfast? I’d love a good cappuccino this morning.”

“No showering together?”

“Not today.”

“Then I’ll go with your plan,” Harm agreed.

Monday November 8, 2004

0900 Local

Quantico Marine Base

PT Course

They had already done sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups, and a five mile warm up run before they headed to the firing range. So far Mac was the only woman in her squad of six which was comprised of General Creswell, Colonel Weiss, Colonel Marks, Lt. Colonel Wilson, and Lt. Colonel Donnelly. Their squad would have been all Colonel’s and Lt. Colonels but with Creswell’s unexpected and rapid promotion he was with them instead of with other Generals. He had been given the choice of rescheduling but had opted to stay with the original plan.

Mac had been pleased with her own performance thus far. She knew that were point standing was strong and that if she stayed focused her marksmanship would keep her near the top of the pack. Her goal was to keep a respectable point total for any Marine. She admitted to herself that she would be pleased if her points were better in some areas then her commanding officers.

On the range with rifles first, Mac was in the first line. They took a prone position on the firing line and sighted their rifles. On the ‘commence firing’ command, they would squeeze off ten rounds in thirty seconds. They would wait for their scores while they exchanged positions with their partner. Mac turned to discover that it wasn’t Colonel Donnelly behind her, but General Creswell. She nodded to him and then looked to see her score on target one come up. They held up a 98. That meant that she had hit the bulls-eye with nine of the ten rounds and came close with an eight on the other shot. It was more then respectable, but not good enough for Mac’s own standards.

Creswell finished his first target. As they exchanged positions, for the second of ten targets from the prone position and at this distance, Creswell’s score came up as 98 as well. The proceeded through the ten prone targets, followed by ten in the sitting position, ten from a kneeling position and then ten in the off-hand or standing position. The first round was with the targets 100 yards away. They would repeat the process with targets set at 300 yards and then 600 yards.

The highest possible score for each set of ten targets was 1000 points. Mac finished her 100 yard targets with a prone score of 998; sitting 996; kneeling 1000 and off-hand 995. They were the highest in her squad. Creswell was a close second with 998, 996,998,and 990 respectively.

They next round was at 300 hundred yards. Mac had the extra confidence of winning the first round in her squad and she settled down and shot like she knew she could. The second round scores were even better for her with three perfect position scores of 1000 in prone, sitting and kneeling. Her off-hand score was even better with a 996. Creswell again finished second with strong scores of 998, 997, 996, and 994.

By the third round, everyone was sensing a growing competition, unspoken between the firing range partners of the General and the female Lt. Colonel. At the 600 yard range the slight wind became a bigger problem as did fatigue. Muscles would shake and burn from the tension and strain of the positions and weight of the rifle.

Imagine trying to support approximately five pounds in your hand while your arm is outstretched from the side of your body at about shoulder height while your body is turned to face where you are pointing. Keep in mind you must keep the end of the rifle which extends about a foot beyond your hand steady while you are breathing so the sights do not move off of a spot with about three inches in diameter while you pull the trigger with your other arm bent at the elbow and nothing to support it but your body which moves with each breath you take. That’s shooting off-hand or in a standing position!

While Mac waited for the ‘commence fire’ command, she focused her energy and let the calm settled over her. She knew what she could do and she set about doing it. At the end of the prone targets, Mac had once again scored a perfect 1000. Creswell matched her. They moved to the sitting position. In this position, the shooter could either set cross legged or with both knees raised to support their elbows. If you sat with your legs crossed, you curved over so you could support your elbows on the folds of your knees. If you raised your knees, then you could use them with your seat as a tripod to steady your elbows and the rifle. Both Mac and Creswell chose the knee up position as opposed to the crossed legs. Mac had one target slightly off when the wind had come up. Her final score was 999. Creswell was even more wide and scored 998.

In the kneeling position, the shooter basically sits on one foot and raises one knee to rest their elbow on. Some people find it more difficult then sitting, while other people find it easier. Most people find that it is almost as difficult as the off-hand position. The stronger your legs and upper body and the more endurance you have, the better most shooters do with the kneeling and off-hand positions. Both Creswell and Mac were strong and focused and both scored 996 while kneeling. They moved to the final round for the 600 yard range. The wind had picked up again and it was steady. They both made adjustments to their rifles and began the final competition. It was not uncommon for a shooters scores to drop a hundred or more points on this round as compared to other positions and distances.

Mac and Creswell went to work. Each trying to maintain the edge. Neither consciously thought about competing against each other. Their focus was on the target and their own breathing. They squeezed off round after round and waited for scores from each target. Time after time the scorers held up 95 - first for Mac and then for Creswell. Other shooters were pleased to score a 90 on a target in this round...but these two had entered a different zone. They were compensating for the wind and challenging themselves to do better just for the satisfaction of mastering a skill. When the last shot was fired, and the final scores raised, Mac had earned a total of 950 points and Creswell had matched it. They turned to each other and shook hands each complimenting the other on an outstanding marksmanship performance.

“Fine shooting, Colonel Mackenzie.”

“You too sir.”

“Are you as good on the pistol range?”

“I was better last time, sir.”

“Going for any records?”

“I believe so sir.”

“Then you might like to know that I hold two records on the pistol range, Colonel.”

Mac grinned, “So do I sir.” Mac in fact had earned top marks and set the record for pistols on both the 50 yard and 100 yard kneeling range. She also held a third record, one that Creswell could never break. Sarah Mackenzie held the overall record on the pistol range - for female Marines !

1130 Local

JAG HQ

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm looked at the clock again. He wondered how Mac was doing on her PT quals. Not only was she doing PT quals but she had to include the rifle and pistol ranges. Last time Mac had established shooting records which he had read about. Mac had never mentioned them to him. He was hoping that he could do something special for her this evening, because he knew she would be exhausted tonight. She had left him a note when she left his place this morning.

       Harm,

       I know I will be exhausted tonight after I’m put through my paces. I’m

       sure that I’ll be lucky if I have enough energy to take a relaxing bath and fall

       into bed, but I promise I’ll call. I’d invite you to come join me, but I doubt I’ll

       be good company. I’ve enjoyed every moment with you this weekend.

       Remember, I love you.

       Mac.

He smiled thinking about the way they had been able to move their relationship forward. He had decided by Saturday morning that although he needed to give her some time to get use to the changes, he was going to move ahead and ask her to marry him soon. He wondered if a New Year’s wedding would be possible. He was brought out of his fantasy by a knock on the door.

“Commander?”

Harm looked up to see a glowing Harriet in civilian maternity attire standing in his doorway.

“Harriet! Come in. It’s good to see you. How you doing?”

“I’m fine. I hadn’t been by in awhile and thought I should stop in. Are you busy for lunch?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you join Bud and I? I brought enough food for the Marines so there’s plenty for three sailors.”

“Thanks, Harriet, I’d like that.”

“So how’s Mattie doing?”

Harm swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “She’s great. She’s moved back with her dad.”

“When?”

“Friday night.”

“You must miss her.”

“I do Harriet. But this is what is right and what we were working toward,” Harm told her as they walked into the library where they were going to eat lunch. Bud was waiting for them.

“Hi Honey,” he kissed Harriet’s cheek. “Sir, glad you could join us.”

“Bud...” 

“I know Harm...I know...it’s just years of practice at showing respect and now it’s a hard habit to break - not the respect sir, calling you by your first name...” Bud ended up flustered and red faced before he sat down quietly.

“You know Bud, at this point, I would hope you would feel comfortable enough to call me Harm. I know that we respect each other and I guess I would feel much better if you would try and call me Harm most of the time.”

“Then perhaps if we ask you a favor, again, it will make it even easier Harm.” Bud grinned at Harriet who nodded and smiled at her husband. “Well Harm, Harriet and I have talked it over and we want you to be one of the godparents to the twins. We’re going to ask Mac too.”

“I’d be honored. Maybe this time I can spend more time with them then I did AJ or Jimmy.”

“You spent time with AJ when he was little. It’s just been the last year or so that things got lost,” Harriet soothed.

“Still, I want to spend some time with both boys, even though Jimmy isn’t my godson.”

“They’d both enjoy that I’m sure.” Bud nodded as they munched on sandwiches.

“I’m sorry Mac’s not here today,” Harriet lamented as they ate. “We were hoping to ask you at the same time.”

“I’m sure Mac will be honored as well. Do you want me to tell her when I see her later?”

“Sure...if you want to.”

“I’d be delighted. It will give me a good excuse to stop by and check on her after her quals today.”

“PT?”

“PT and marksmanship...Creswell is there too.” Harm filled them in.

“Wow!” exclaimed Bud.

“Yeah...and Mac gets competitive at times like this so she’s going to be exhausted when she gets home. I thought I’d surprise her with dinner.” Harm told them.

“You two seem to be getting closer,” Harriet observed.

“Yes. We’ve always been friends and sometimes we’ve fought, but neither of us can hide from the truth anymore. We were destined to be together.”

Harriet and Bud exchanged knowing looks and smiles as they listened to Harm talk.

1635 Local

Quantico Marine Base

PT Course

“Gathered round,” the fitness instructor called. “We have one final task today. The obstacle course race. This is a timed activity. We have new technology available and the computer chip in the wrist band you were given with activate the clock. You will start off in pairs with ten seconds between pairs. You will be covering a thirteen mile course with several typical obstacles such as the mud pit, the tires, the ropes, the barbed wire you have to crawl under, the wall, the balance beams and so on. At each checkpoint your band will allow your split times to be determined. This is a tough finish to a grueling day. Before we begin, I’d like to congratulate Major General Creswell and matching his pistol records today. Also, Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, set three new records already today. Over all marksmen for a female Marine, off-hand pistol range and kneeling pistol range. Congratulations to both of you. You will be the first pair off on the course.”

Creswell and Mackenzie saluted each other and then, at the command took off on foot running the course. Mac wanted to use the same pace she used when running with Harm and she smiled when she realized that Creswell wasn’t quite keeping up with her stride. At each obstacle he would catch up a little and in between Mac would surge ahead by at least a few steps. The wall was the obstacle that got most people. It was near the end of the course and people were tired by the time they reached it. Once over the wall, there was a one mile run to the finish line. Mac planned to sprint the final mile. As she approached the wall, she considered the fact that she and Creswell were about the same height. His arm strength might give him an edge, but Mac had learned a trick or two over the years about the wall and she put them to use now as she jumped before starting her climb. The momentum she carried into the jump gave her a foot higher hold then her commanding officer. A foot less she had to walk the wall. That in itself gave her the boost she needed. She was up and over the wall and down the other side before Creswell and crossed the top of the wall. Mac let the adrenaline feed her muscles and she ran with the loose limbed grace she had developed getting ready for the Jag-a-thon years ago. She had planned to sprint the final leg and she did, giving it everything she had. She crossed the finish line three seconds in front of her commanding officer.

As they both bent over panting, trying to regain their breath, Creswell approached Mac and complimented her on her performance.

“Colonel Mackenzie, was the performance today on my behalf?”

“No sir. I push myself to be the best I can every time I come out here.”

“Do you do the same in the court room?”

“Yes sir.”

“No wonder you and Rabb make such a formidable team.”

“Excuse me sir?”

“You not only push yourselves, you push each other don’t you?”

“I guess so.”

“You do. We watched you run this weekend...my daughter was impressed with your easy style.”

“Thank you sir.”

“I saw the way you and Rabb worked out together. Chegwidden said that you would push each other and that sometimes you became too competitive. Is that true?”

“I don’t think so anymore, sir, although there was a day we often overdid.”

“Well Colonel, do you kick box?”

“A little sir.”

“Then if you don’t mind, I think I’ll forgo inviting you to join me. A commanding officer should have some areas where he excels, perhaps.”

“Yes, sir.” Mac and Creswell exchanged smiles. When all the runners were in, Mac had posted a record time for females and come in second over all for the day.

When they were dismissed, Mac kept herself moving from sheer will and thinking about a long soak in her tub.

PART 7 (At least an R rating for this part)

1804 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

Harm knew that Mac hadn’t arrived home yet when he didn’t see her car in her space. She had given him a key to her place a while ago and although he hadn’t used it in some time, he went ahead and let himself in to her apartment so he could prepare the surprise for her. He used his cell phone to call her cell phone and was surprised when she answered.

“Colonel Mackenzie.”

“Mac, you sound beat.”

“I am Harm...”

“Where are you?”

“I just left the base. I’m hoping I have the energy to stay with it for twenty minutes or so until I can get home.”

“Can I do anything for you?” Harm asked trying not to grin.

“Probably but I can’t think what it is.”

“Okay...you drive carefully. Call me on my cell phone if you want me to come get you okay?”

“Thanks...I’ll be alright. I really need to focus on my driving, Harm.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” Harm signed off and resumed his plans. He would start her bath water in a few minutes, but he wanted to get dinner in the over first.

Harm had left over chicken, carrots, potatoes, and boiled onions from meals they had prepared over the weekend. He proceeded to chop up the chicken and vegetables and add them to a casserole dish. He then added some chicken broth and cheese sauce and mixed it together. Over it he added a biscuit dough and spread it around. Setting the oven at 350 degrees he put the casserole in and turned to prepare her bath water.

Harm found a couple of vanilla candles and lit them in her bathroom while the tub filled and then returned to the kitchen to pour her a glass of ice cold juice - a combination or orange and cranberry with just a splash of seltzer water to give it some fizz. She claimed it restored her blood sugar levels and quenched her thirst. He suspected she would be craving it and would be too tired to fix it. He turned off her bath water, leaving enough room to top it off and add the bubbles she wanted fresh when she was ready. He heard her key in the lock as he returned from the kitchen with her drink.

“Harm! What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d surprise you. Here’s your energy drink you like...” Mac took it without a word, and sipped it. Harm watched her and smiled glad he had thought of it. Then he continued.

“Supper’s in the oven and will be ready in about half and hour. Your tub is ready to be topped off and have bubbles added. It’s your choice whether you want me to wait for you and join you for dinner, or get out of here and leave you in peace and quiet.” Mac heard him out, still amazed that he would do this for her. While part of her wanted to tell him to get out and yell at him for invading her space...the other part of her reminded her that he was taking care of her but giving her the choice as to his continued presence or not.

“Stay.” Mac whispered as she set the drink down and stepped close to him, hoping her would wrap her in his arms. He did and just held her while she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Dropping a kiss on top of her head, he smiled. She was dirty and tired but Harm had refused to allow himself the simple pleasure of holding her for so many years, that he wasn’t going to miss a chance now. After a few minutes, he stepped back and looked down into her dirt streaked face.

“Go enjoy your bath and get comfortable. I’ll take care of dinner and keep it hot until you are ready for it. Now, go.”

Mac placed a kiss on his chin and smiled as she made her tired body do as he suggested. Harm laughed to himself as he watched her dropped her BDU jacket between the front door and her bedroom. He saw the t-shirt land on the floor just as she moved out of sight. And when he entered the bathroom a few minutes later to pick up her things for her, he found her boots, pants, socks and underwear strewn along her path to the bathroom.

Although the door to the bathroom was partially closed, he resisted the temptation of seeing her in bubbles again. He thought back to Paraguay when he had walked in on her to take the gun in and she had been submerged in the slowly dissipating bubbles. He had told her he had forgotten how beautiful she was. It had been a lie. He had never forgotten how beautiful she was, but he had needed to say something and that was the safest thing he had been able to think of when he had wanted to strip off his clothes and join her at the time.

Picking up her dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper, he then took her boots to the kitchen with him to clean them up and have them ready for next time, polished and ready to go. He set them aside when the timer went off and checked the casserole. He took it out and turned off the oven, knowing it would stay hot for some time. He then finished with her boots and set them by the bedroom door while he went to set the table.

In the bathroom, Mac had been touched by the vanilla candles and almost ready tub. She added the jasmine bubble bath and topped off the tub with hot water, before sliding in and washing her hair. Wrapping it in a towel, she rested her head against the side of the tub and closed her eyes. The heat and scents soothed her tired aching body and allowed her mind to wander. As she thought about what she had accomplished that day she started to smile. She felt good. She had gone about her business, done the best she could, and out shot, out ran, and held her own with not only the five other Marines in her squad, but her commanding officer and most of the other Marine squads there today.

Her mind then wandered back to the man waiting for her in her apartment. He had walked a fine line between giving her space and taking care of her and managed to do it in such a way that she had asked him to stay when she could have easily told him to go. She shook her head and smiled. This man truly understood her. He found that place between what she wanted and what she could accept and then gave her options too good to resist.

Deciding it was time to rejoin him, she stood up from the now almost cool water and wrapped a large yellow towel around her body. She towel dried her hair and then ran a comb through it. Next she patted her body dry and rubbed in a little jasmine scented after bath lotion. She slipped into the barely there underwear she had brought from her bedroom, but chose to leave off the matching bra. She slipped a white cotton oversized t-shirt over her head and pulled on her pink fleece bathrobe. Slipping her feet into the matching slippers she went to join Harm.

“Something smells good.”

“Hey Mac...Feel better?”

“Yes. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“You’re not mad that I barged in?”

“No...because you still gave me a choice by offering to go or stay.”

“I know you’re tired, Mac, but you need to eat and I knew you wanted to soak in the tub.”

“Yes...but now there’s something else I want.”

“Dinner is coming up. Have a seat at the table and I will bring it in.”

“Okay...but that’s not what I was talking about it.”

“Oh, What else do you want?”

“You...to hold me and make me feel like a woman...” Harm heard Mac’s words and gulped. He was trying to keep his libido under control and Mac wasn’t helping making suggestions like that.

“Let’s eat...we both need to replenish our reserves I guess.” Mac smiled and waited for Harm to bring in the food.

It was good. They ate slowly, enjoying each others company. Harm listened to Mac recount her day and he beamed with pride at her accomplishments.

Together they cleaned up their few dishes and put the food away. Then Harm pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Once because he missed her during the day; once for her accomplishments on the range; once because she showed Creswell what she was made of; and once more because he couldn’t help himself. They were both breathing hard by the time he broke the last kiss. His arms were inside the robe and the thin white t-shirt was all that separated her from his eyes and hands.

He felt his body respond to her kisses and her closeness before he started to let his mind wander.

Mac led him back to the living room and curled up on the couch with him. She kissed him this time, as she unbuttoned his uniform shirt, his jacket and tie having been disposed of long ago. She carefully laid it over the back of the chair once she had him out of it. Then she went to work on removing his t-shirt. Once she had his chest exposed to her eyes and hands, she pressed herself against him and kissed him again.

Harm groaned deep in his throat as he felt her hardened nipples rub his chest through the t-shirt. When she straddled his lap and the t-shirt rode up exposing her long firm legs, he almost came undone. The heat from her body called to him. He took control of their make-out session then, as he covered her breasts with his hands and rubbed his thumbs across her nipples. She arched her back and pressed herself against his arousal while she steadied herself with her hands on his shoulders. Harm reached for the hem of the t-shirt and removed it. He looked longingly at her breasts before slowly moving to take one rigid nipple in his mouth while his hand worked the other.

Mac was slowly going out of her mind as the sensations were about to over take her, She began rocking her hips against Harm as she sat in his lap. She lowered her hands to work on his zipper and when she opened them enough to get her hand under the edge of his boxers, Harm stood up taking her with him and carried her to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed before removing the rest of his clothes and her barely there undies. Standing before her, his arousal evident and moist, he could see and feel the heat of desire coming from her.

Slowly, he approached her, taking in all of her, anticipating their joining. He admired her beauty and her strength but he wasn’t sure if he ever really told her that. Kneeling on the bed, between her legs, his gazed locked with hers. His voice husky with desire he spoke from the heart.

“Sarah...you are the most beautiful woman I have seen. It leaves me breathless at times...but you know what else?” Mac shook her head no, not wanting to break the spell. “I am so proud of you...your strength, determination, talent, your ability to be all woman with me like this despite the fact that you can hold your own in the courtroom, on the fitness trail, on the rifle range, and even the ring...it humbles me to think you’d want someone like me.”

Tears came to Mac’s eyes and glistened there. She waited to see if he was going to say or do anything to ruin the hallmark moment they seemed to be having. He didn’t. Harm lowered himself to her then, and began to worship her body with his lips and hands. Only after making sure that she was thoroughly satisfied, did he allow himself to find satisfaction with her. Afterward, they settled into a comfortable position wrapped in each other’s arms and slept.

0430 Local

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

The ringing of the phone woke them. Mac managed to untangle herself enough to reach for the phone.

“Colonel Mackenzie.”

“Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, Colonel, but I need you and Commander Rabb on a transport out of Andrews at oh-six hundred this morning. I haven’t been able to reach the Commander as yet, however.”

“He can be a sound sleeper, General. I’ll swing by and pick him up. Do you need us at headquarters first?”

“No. I’m sending Sargent Nugent to Andrews to meet you with the files and any other information I can get. Report in after you’ve assessed the situation on board.”

“Yes sir.”

“And Colonel, I hate to send you out again so soon, but you two really are the best team for this case and Captain Ingles requested you.”

“Thank you sir.” Mac disconnected the call and poked Harm. “Hey, Sailor...we’re hitting the road again.”

“Where to this time?”

“All I know is to be at Andrews in little over an hour and Ingles requested us. Let’s go. Rabb won’t answer his phone so I promised the General I’d stop and get him.”

“Thanks for not giving him away.” Harm responded with a smirk.

“Protecting my hide...not yours.”

“Good. You’ve got a great hide and I don’t want anything to happen to it.”

“Go home, shower and pack. I’ll pick you up soon.”

“Yes Ma’am.” Harm got out of bed naked, and padded into the bathroom before he back tracked to find his clothes. He pulled on the boxers, uniform pants and t-shirt. Dressing his feet he picked up the rest of his things and then decided to dress completely just in case he got stopped. He gave Mac a quick kiss before he dashed out.

Eight days later

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

It had been a difficult investigation. Captain Ingles had requested Harm and Mac because he knew he would get to the truth and he needed to know what had happened on that LSO platform. Commander Lockness swore that his team handled everything to perfection. The plane captain swore there were no mechanical problems, but something had caused that plane to crash. They had lost four good people as a result of that crash. Harm had flown with two of the four during his last quals. They had interviewed everyone they could think of; checked records and files; re-created the flight and crash as best they could; and observed every part of the operation for hours on end. They slept little, had no time for personal things, and stressed over the situation. After a week, they finally caught a break and everything began to fall into place. A disgruntled Seaman who had been busted in rank from Petty Officer Third Class, had managed to sabotage both planes and when Captain Ingles and Commander Lockness were not charged he decided to try it again only, this time he was caught. The busted Seaman had been escorted back to Anacostia to await trial by Harm and Mac, who then proceeded on to Headquarters to file their report.

“Commander Rabb, Colonel Mackenzie, glad to see you found your way home.” General Creswell greeted them before listening carefully to their report. “I’m assigning McBurney to defend and Coleman to prosecute. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes sir.” They answered in unison.

“Good. I know you have some open cases you need to get back to. I’ve brought in a few new lawyers and changed some assignments. Commander Roberts can bring you up to speed and introduce you. Commander Turner is currently on assignment in Groton. I expect he’ll be back tomorrow or the next day. Dismissed.”

“Yes sir.”

Harm and Mac approached Lt. Commander Robert’s office. Harm rapped on the door jam and poked his head inside. “How are things Commander?”

“Oh Hi Colonel, Commander. Come on in. Glad to see you back.”

“We certainly have been gone a lot recently. Hear there’ve been a few changes and you’re the man to bring us up to speed,” Harm informed Bud.

“There have been. I’m sure you’ve heard that Major McBurney and Commander Coleman are assigned to our office full time now,” Bud paused and looked up to see Mac and Harm nodding. “We also have Lieutenants Mark Greenbaugh and Cecilia Donato.”

“What do you think of them Bud?”

“The lieutenants are pretty green but should do well if given a chance and some guidance. As a matter of fact, I believe the general wants them to work with the two of you on a couple of investigations and trials but primarily they will be assigned to work with Turner and me...oh and Colonel, did you get the word that you are being replaced as Chief of Staff?”

“I am?” Mac smiled at Bud not quite believing her ears. “So I can continue to do investigations and try cases and not be primarily a court lawyer?”

“Looks like it Ma’am. General Creswell indicated that having you attached to the office was tantamount to trying to take a trail ride with a horse hitched to the barn.”

“He said that Bud?”

“I believe those were his words Ma’am.”

Harm and Mac exchanged smiles. Although she had done some investigations since being appointed Chief of Staff, in recent years, those were fewer and fewer. Now, it looked like Mac and Harm would be an investigative team much as they had in days gone by. Of course that meant they would probably be opposing counsel frequently as well.

“Another thing that General Creswell told us,” Bud flipped through his notes, “If an investigation is extremely difficult it is likely that the officers conducting the investigations will be replaced for the trial or will work in tandem to either prosecute or defend instead of taking opposite sides. He said based on his own personal experiences he feels that it makes more sense.”

“Wow...what do you think of the General overall Bud,” Mac asked.

“I think he’s got his own way of doing things and if we aren’t willing to wait and see where he’s going, we’re going to be the ones stepping in it all the time.”

“So you think that hearing him out and not making assumptions is the safe route?” Harm asked.

“I think so sir...but I am have some trouble reading him.”

“Then I guess we all have that in common.” Harm stated before he turned and left Bud’s office.

Two weeks later

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

Harm and Mac were sitting at the dining room table working on a case together. Although they hadn’t been out on any more trips, they were working long hours and dealing with some difficult cases. They had three big cases all with trials in process plus had caught a few other smaller cases they had been able to plea out. They had two investigations in progress locally and were being asked to take the two lieutenants along - one on each case. Both were being heavily relied on. Mac and Donato took the lead on one case while Harm and Greenbaugh took the lead on the other. They met back in the office with the other senior officer to discuss evidence and determine the next steps along the way. If Harm or Mac were in court, the other attorney sent the newbie on errands and to do research. The pace was even worse then when Harm had returned to the Imes debacle. He wasn’t sleeping at night because he stayed up until the early morning hours working on cases usually at Macs and then driving back to his place with barely enough time to shower and put on a clean uniform. Mac had been getting a few hours sleep each night because Harm had insisted that they work at her place and so when she got tired, he would encourage her to go to bed and tell her he was going as soon as he finished that page or that file.

Often Harm was able to work another two or three hours before stopping. Both of them were trying to make sure all paperwork was done and on Creswell’s desk and to his satisfaction. They had felt the need to overcompensate for Sturgis telling Creswell that paperwork didn’t come naturally to them.

The first few nights they had worked late, Mac had suggested that Harm crawl into bed with her and stay there. He had a few times, but after the second time he had woken up to Mac kissing him and touching him and his body hadn’t reacted the way he thought it should have, he had started leaving to go home. Harm was pretty sure he was not getting enough sleep and that’s why his body was letting him down. He had enjoyed her touch until it had been obvious that his body was not going to do what it needed to. The first morning he had found other ways to satisfy her, but the second time he had claimed lateness and jumped out of bed and took of for home. After that he went home when he did leave.

Mac had noticed that something didn’t seem right with Harm, and had decided it was exhaustion - until he started pretending he had come to bed before he headed home. Then she started worrying that he had lost interest in her after all.

0700 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm had come home around four and slept for a couple of hours before the alarm dragged him from sleep and sent him into automatic for his morning routine. Dressed in his uniform, he was heading for the door, when the phone rang.

“Rabb.”

“Harm, its me.”

“Mattie! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Harm,” her laughing answer made him smile.

“I’ve been trying to call you but your never home. Spending a lot of time with Mac I hope.”

“Yes, we’re really swamped at JAG.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Mattie scolded him. “Harm, are you and Mac busy for Thanksgiving?”

“I don’t know what Mac’s plans are, but we are usually on call Thanksgiving Day.”

“Does that mean you can’t come down for Dinner with me and Dad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so...but thanks for asking.”

“Would you come if you weren’t on call?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...are you on call all weekend?”

“I don’t think so. Usually just Thursday and Friday.”

“Maybe you can come for leftovers over the weekend.”

“I’d like that.”

“Will you ask Mac to come too?”

“Yes.”

“What about Jen?”

“I don’t know her schedule. Why don’t you call her?”

“I will. I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too Mattie.”

“I’ll let you go. If something changes, call me okay?”

“I promise.” They hung up and Harm smiled thinking how mice it would be to join them for dinner. For the first time, Harm wished he wasn’t on call for Thanksgiving.”

PART 8

0815 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

The legal staff were assembled in the conference room with General Creswell. He was reviewing the duty roster for the remainder of the week which included Thanksgiving and the following weekend. Looking around his assembled staff he pinned his gaze on Commander Turner.

“I’ve made some changes to the duty roster. I do not agree with senior officers being on call on the holidays. McBurney. Coleman. You will be on call from fifteen hundred Wednesday until eight hundred Monday. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Rabb. Mackenzie. You will be on leave from fifteen hundred Wednesday until eight hundred Monday. I’ve reviewed your duty history and I cannot find one Thanksgiving weekend either of you were not on call. Time for a change. Any complaints?”

“No sir!” Harm and Mac responded in unison.

“Very well. Commander Turner, correct the rest of the posted rosters as soon as we are done here. We’ll begin to my right and proceed around the table with case updates.”

Sturgis reviewed his cases first and reported the status. He had one case in trial against a civilian lawyer and three cases he was working on pleas. He had no investigation on his slate.

McBurney reported out on his two active cases and the one plea bargain in which he accused Lt. Commander Coleman of trying to railroad him. She denied the accusation and Creswell had to step in to re-establish order. Harm and Mac, sitting across from each other, shared a smile and remembered the days it had been them arguing during staff call. When Creswell called for order, everyone ‘snapped to attention’ while in a seated position.

“Now, this isn’t a barroom or any place for a brawl. You will conduct yourselves as professionals or transfer out! Coleman, report on you cases.”

“Two active cases, one in court, one investigation. Two plea bargains in process.”

“Very well. Commander Roberts?”

“Two cases in court, one investigation, no plea bargains.”

“Could you take on one more case?” asked Creswell.

“Yes sir.”

“Very well...I am hoping I will be able to assign this to someone else, but its good to know I have a fall back option. Greenbaugh, how are things going for you?”

“I’m assisting Commander Rabb on an investigation and I’ve been sitting second chair to Commander Turner, sir.”

“Think you’re ready for your own case?”

“Yes sir.”

“Very well,” General Creswell smiled as he handed the file down to Lt. Greenbaugh. “Commander Roberts, I would like you to oversee the case. If Greenbaugh can’t handle it, step in and take over and notify me of the change.”

“Yes sir.”

Lt. Donato?”

“Yes sir. I’m assist Commander Rabb with one investigation and Colonel Mackenzie with another. I’m sitting second chair with Colonel Mackenzie on another case and I am writing two briefs for Commander Turner.”

“Are you ready to take on a case on your own?”

“I think so sir.”

“You are or you aren’t?”

“Yes sir! I’m ready sir.”

“Spoken like a true Marine, Donato.”

“Sir I’m Navy,” responded a confused Lt. Donato.

“That was a compliment Lieutenant. Here’s the file. Turner, be prepared to step in if she can’t handle it.”

“Yes sir.”

“Commander Rabb?”

“Yes sir. We have three big cases all with trials in process plus I’m taking lead on four other cases that I am trying to plea out. I also have been working one of the investigations with Greenbaugh, who has been performing nicely.”

“How are you managing that work load Commander?”

“Colonel Mackenzie is sharing the three cases with me, sir, and as I said, Lt. Greenbaugh has shown the ability to work hard and catch on fast...I guess I just find a way to keep it going, sir.”

“Commendable Rabb...however there needs to be a more even distribution of the work load around here by the sound of it. Colonel Mackenzie, I take it your case load is as tight as the Commander’s.”

“Almost sir. I’m only working on two pleas. Lt. Donato is also helping with my investigation and like Lt. Greenbaugh, is diligent with an outstanding work ethic.”

“Yes, well, it seems the work ethic of a few others could increase. That will be all. Dismissed...Rabb, Mackenzie, meet me in my office in five,” Creswell tossed over his shoulder as he exited the conference room.

“Now what?” Mac looked at Harm and noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He looked at her and smiled and motioned with his head to go with him.

“I don’t know Mac. Let’s go find out.” They presented themselves to him in his office as instructed.

“Come in and have a seat. Close the door Commander. I recently had a conversation with Admiral Chedwiggen-Chegwidden...Damn that name throws me every time...” Harm and Mac smiled remembering how quickly they made sure they got it right and how often they managed to just call him Admiral. “Any way,” Creswell continued, “He told me that I might want to do a little research into the role you two took on in this office, and I did just that. Why are the two of you - oh-five officers - accepting holidays on call, the heaviest work loads, and mentoring every one in this place? Do you think no one else is capable?”

“No sir!”

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” Harm asked.

Creswell looked at him through squinted eyes, “I may regret this, but go ahead, Commander.”

“The Colonel and I have been here a long time sir, and in a way maybe we grew up here. At one time, we were low on the totem pole so we were assigned holiday duty. Later on, there were several young families, and we did it so they could have the time with the children. Then I guess it became habit. This year sir, I appreciate having the holidays duty free. I hope to be able to spend it with my family for a change. As for the others in this office, sir, I think that we have an outstanding group and they will all pull together to help each other out.”

“Interesting Commander. I didn’t realize you had children.”

“Well, sir, I don’t - yet, but I had a teenage foster daughter for about a year and she recently was able to return to her father. They have asked me to join them for the holidays and have extended the invitation to Colonel Mackenzie as well. I told them no this morning. Now I’ll be able to go. Thank you Sir.”

“Rabb, you are a valuable asset to this office. Get some rest...you look like hell.”

“Yes sir.”

“Colonel, you also look like you could use a break. You do not have to prove yourself to me. You both have shown sustained good judgement with only a few lapses that can be attributed to human frailty. I hope you are not letting our past connection influence your actions now. I have a lot of respect for people that can turn their lives around...and you have my respect now more then ever. JAG needs you both. It won’t be long before you’ll be needing to look for command positions. Please keep in mind that I expect you to act like the senior officers you are and start showing me you can take control of a command situation. The Admiral and I agree that you both still have untapped potential. Now get back to work,” he smiled the barely there smile as he dismissed them.

Harm and Mac came to attention and then exited the office.

“Wow! Your office or mine?” Harm asked.

“Yours is closer.”

They stepped inside and closed the door.

“Mac, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but there hasn’t been time. Do you want to go to Blacksburg with me for Thanksgiving?”

“It sounds like fun.”

“Let me call Mattie...”

“She’s at school.”

“Oh yeah...I’ll call her later. Feel a little relief now, Mac?”

“Yes...I think so. Harm, I really need to get back to my office now, but can we take tonight off and talk?”

“Sure.”

“Why don’t we go to your place tonight?”

“Yeah...okay.”

“Harm are you sure you want me to go with you to Mattie’s?”

“Yes!”

“Alright...I’ll see you later.” Mac left Harm’s office just as a client arrived to meet with her. Harm picked up the phone again.

“Grace Aviation.”

“Tom, Harm. How’s it going?”

“Oh hi Commander. Sorry you aren’t going to be able to join us Thursday.”

“Well, that’s why I’m calling. Mac and I just found out we don’t have to be on call. Think Mattie can handle the surprise of us showing up?”

“That would be great! Now you are going to stay with us aren’t you?” Tom asked.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t mean to be personal Commander, but would you and Mac be sharing a room?”

“Well, we could, but I’m not sure that’s sending the right message to Mattie.”

“I agree...but I have a solution. As you know we only have three bedrooms upstairs, but the den, off the living room, has room for a roll away bed, and that would give us the extra space.”

“We’re looking forward to it. We’ll leave early Thursday morning I guess so we should be there by ten.”

“Looking forward to seeing Mattie’s face when she sees her surprise.”

“See you in a few days, Tom.”

1930 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm sat on the couch and Mac sat on the other end. He watched her for a few minutes before asking, “Kind of far away aren’t you?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me close to you.”

“Is this the talk we’re going to have?”

“Yes. Harm, are you sick of me?”

“No. Why do you think that Mac?”

“Why? You haven’t touched me in days and when I touch you, you pull away. Normally you’re as randy as a billy-goat and lately you hardly kiss my cheek or hold my hand. What else am I suppose to think?”

“Oh, Mac, I’m sorry. I’m tired...not disinterested.”

“Really? Then why can’t I seem to arouse you?”

“Mac...its not you...its me...I guess I’m getting old.”

“Harm are you telling me that you’re having some problems?” Harm’s gaze locked with hers and he slowly nodded his head.

“I think its because I’m overtired.”

“Why?”

“Why am I over tired? Mac, I haven’t slept more then four hours a night for almost two weeks!”

“No...I meant, why do you think its just that you are tired?”

“Because when you touch me it feels good and I start to get hard and then I can’t sustain it. I’ve tried to...well, let’s just say I used other methods to see if I could get my body to cooperate and nothing.”

“Harm, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to add pressure to you and make it worse.”

“It’s okay...look, I’d love to have you sleep here with me tonight. I can’t promise much more then sleep...”

“I think its what we both need.” Mac told him.

Wednesday 0545 Local

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Mac woke up first and rolled over to watch Harm sleep. They had about fifteen minutes before the alarm would go off. He was relaxed and after one good night of sleep the dark circles were gone under his eyes. She looked at the sheet drawn across his abdomen and then let her gaze focus on the muscular chest with the soft chest hair that slightly hid his nipples. She loved resting her cheek against that patch of soft hair almost as much as she liked running her fingers through it.

As much as she wanted to kiss him or touch him, the more she thought it was probably better to resist. Regard less of what he had said last night, she knew he was concerned about his lack of physical response. She thought it would return when he was rested and until then, she didn’t want to push him.

She slowly became aware of him watching her.

“Morning, Sailor,” Mac whispered as she placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Morning, Marine. Feel up to a little fooling around?”

“You sure...I don’t want to put any pressure on you...”

“Mac...a good nights sleep has done wonders...look...” Harm lifted the covers and directed her attention to his soldier standing tall and proud.

“Oh Harm!...”

By the time the alarm went off, Harm was pleased at his own performance although Mac had started to giggle.

“Harm...I can honestly say I now know what a ‘quickie’ is and that it made my ears ring!” Mac reached over to hug him. He had sat up to shut the alarm off.

“Cute...so that was a first, huh?”

“Yes...now we need to get ready for work.”

“Mac, what would you think of driving to Blacksburg tonight and helping Mattie bake the pies and all the early preparations we’ll miss if we don’t go until tomorrow?”

“I think it’s a great idea. Call Tom while I shower, okay?” Mac called over her shoulder as she headed for the bathroom.

Harm shook his head knowing it was too early to call. Instead he got up and packed his bag. He then tossed a couple of favorite dishes and some recipes in a box. He was returning to the bedroom when Mac came out of the bedroom wrapped in just a towel. Harm grinned when he saw her.

“What?”

“Things seem to be back to normal...one look at you like that and I could go again.”

“Enjoy your cold shower...I need to dress and run home to pack. You going to pick me up?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Did you call Tom?”

“Not yet...too early. I want to surprise Mattie. I’ll call Grace Aviation from JAG.”

“Okay...see you in about an hour. I’ll bring breakfast.” Mac kissed his cheek and as soon as Harm stepped into the bathroom, she dropped her towel, pulled on her clothes and headed out. She was a lady with a mission this morning.

1825 Local

Johnson House

Blacksburg, Virginia

Mattie was reading while waiting for the pizza delivery guy to show up. Her dad had told her that he had called in an order to be delivered around six-thirty. He’d gone up to shower after he gotten home. Mattie was doing anything to keep her mind busy so she wouldn’t give in to the empty feeling of not having Harm with her for Thanksgiving. She had hoped that he and Mac both would be able to join them. Her dad and her both owned them plenty of thanks.

She heard the car pull in the driveway just as her dad started down the stairs. “You got the money to pay the guy?” she asked as she approached the door.

“Get the door...”

Mattie opened it, “How much do...HARM!” Mattie jumped into his arms wrapping hers around his neck.

“Surprised?” Harm asked her hugging her to him and kissing her cheek.

“You knew?” she asked her father still in Harm’s embrace.

“Yes. They called me this morning.”

“We wanted to surprise you,” Mac told her. “But we did bring the pizza.”

“Good thing! I’m starved. Come on in,” she told them as she let Harm go. When Harm reached for the pizza, Mattie reached for Mac.

“Thank you. I was feeling sorry for myself because you guys weren’t going to be here. How did you get away?”

“Well, it seems our new commanding officer thinks we are negligent about taking care of ourselves and taking time off...so he gave us leave until Monday at eight hundred.” Mac explained as Harm followed Tom into the kitchen chatting with him.

“SO Mac, are you going to help me fix dinner tomorrow?” asked Mattie.

“You bet. Actually there are some things we need to do tonight. Otherwise we won’t be enjoying the day tomorrow.”

“Like what?”

“Pumpkin pies for one.”

“Oh yeah...they are better cold.”

“Rolls need to rise and it takes time. Turkey thawed?”

“Yes...that I checked when I got home from school today.”

They spent the evening talking, laughing, baking, and preparing food for Thursday. They were all happy but tired by the time they called it a night. Mattie showed Mac to the room next to hers. When they were alone she asked her a questions that Mac was sure how to answer.

“Mac, are you and Harm sleeping together?”

“Uh...well...” Mac stammered. “Harm’s going to sleep on a roll-a-way bed in the den while we’re here.”

“Why? Unless you don’t want to of course. I mean you are consenting adults so why not sleep together if you want to?”

“Well Mattie, whether we are or are not sleeping together, is between Harm and me...but neither of us feel we would be setting a very good example for you if we did share a bed in your house.”

“Why?”

“Mattie we are not married.”

“But Harm’s told you he loved you, right?”

“Yes.”

“So?”

“We haven’t discussed marriage specifically yet.”

“But you’re going to, right?”

“Probably...you are as bad as Chloe, aren’t you?” Mac hugged the girl and said good-night to her. “It could prove to be a long day tomorrow,” Mac thought. 

PART 9

Thanksgiving Day

Johnson Residence

Blacksburg, Virginia

Mac had been the first one up Thanksgiving morning. She had showered, dressed, started the coffee and boiled water for tea, baked a pan of sweet rolls that they had prepared the night before and was sipping tea when Mattie joined her.

“Morning Mac...”

“Hey Mattie.”

“Dad and Harm still sleeping?”

“I guess. Did I wake you up?”

“Not really...I smelled the rolls baking though.”

“I already ate one...you gonna tell on me?”

“Nope - ‘cause now I’m having one too!”

Harm found them sitting together in the kitchen with cups and remnants of sweet rolls on the table near them. “Save some for the rest of us?”

“Yes. Want some coffee?” Mattie asked, jumping up to wait on Harm.

“You bet. I think I heard your dad moving around upstairs. I bet he’ll be down real soon.”

“Probably,” Mattie agreed. “Anyone want anything else for breakfast?”

“No - I’m good.”

“Mattie, why don’t we get the turkey in. You wanted to eat around two, right?”

“Yes. Do we have time to go down to the hangar?”

“I think so.”

“Good, I want to show you guys the new software program we got and how we have changed a few things. I thought Harm would want to check on the plane too.”

“Of course, Mattie. Don’t you know that the plane comes first before any thing else?” Mac grinned reminding Harm of a time when he had put his plane first - in a way.

“Don’t go there Mac...Tom and Mattie love planes as much as I do.”

“I know...”

“But Mac...”

“Yes Harm...”

“They don’t love you as much as I do...”

“Good thing, Sailor, or I’d have to hurt you.” Mac smiled and winked at Mattie who was enjoying the banter between the two adults.

Tom Johnson joined them then and enjoyed his roll and coffee while Mac and Mattie got the turkey in the oven. They had just finished and were getting ready to go to the hangar when there was a knock on the door. Mattie went to see who it was and came back with Jennifer Coates in tow.

“Hey Jen...he let you off duty?”

“For the day only sir.”

“Glad you could join us.”

The five of them visited the hangar, traveling in two vehicles. Mac, Jen and Mattie informed the men they were going to return to the house to get dinner on the table...and the men could clean up later while the women watched football. Harm and Tom had laughingly agreed, hoping they weren’t serious.

At two thirty, they sat down to enjoy dinner. The turkey was picture perfect as were the candied yams. From stuffing, to peas and pearl onions to the rolls, and everything else, the dinner looked perfect. Before they began to eat, Tom announced he wanted to say a few words.

“Today is a day for us to give thanks...and I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m not sure I have the words to express what I am feeling, but I want to try. I’m thankful to Harm and Mac, for being the kind of people that give so unselfishly of themselves. Because of them I have my daughter back...and new friends as well. Mathilda Grace, I am so thankful that you were willing to give me another chance. I love you.”

“I love you too Dad...I’m thankful for Harm walking into Grave Aviation and keeping his promise to me. You taught me the importance of truth and being able to accept that it isn’t always what we think it is or what we want...but it is what is important. Mac, thank you for talking my father into getting help and for bringing me to Harm...Jen, thank you for being my big sister...and Harm - thank you for telling Mac you love her.” Harm tipped his head to Mattie and reached for Mac’s hand.

“I’d like to give thanks as well,” Jen announced. I want to thank Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie for believing in me three years ago when I had stopped believing in myself. Thanks for giving me a chance to know Mattie as well. You’ve brought a lot of sunshine to our lives Mattie. Thank you.”

“I agree with Jen, Mattie. You did bring sunshine into my life when things were pretty dark. You helped me be able to open up and put feelings into words. Tom, thank you for sharing Mattie with me - with us. I also want to thank Jen for her unwavering support and help when I floundered with Mattie and when I had to be gone. And finally, I am so grateful to you Mac, for giving me yet again another chance to start over.”

“I am thankful for being included in this family gathering. I’m thankful that Harm didn’t give up on me when I gave up on us. He made me a promise one time and I told him not to make a promise he couldn’t keep. He said he hadn’t yet, and I’m thankful he’s a man of his word that keeps his promises,” Mac smiled and looked at Harm. She watched his face as he thought over what she had said. She knew the minute he understood her message. His eyes got big, his breath escaped in a whoosh and then he started to smile until it was one of the thousand watt variety he saved for special times. Ignoring the audience he turned to Mac, slid to one knee on the floor beside her and holding her hand while gazing into her face he asked on simple question hoping to get one simple answer.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Mac didn’t let him down. He reached into his pocket and withdrew the ring he had been carrying around for almost a month. He slid it onto her left ring finger and it fit like it had been made for her.

“I love you.” Harm said before he kissed her. Their audience sat in stunned silence at first, and then they applauded, cheered and started hugging Harm and Mac, forgetting about dinner.

“You guys go ahead and eat...Mac and I need to talk outside for a minute...we’ll be back.” Taking her hand he led her to the porch, slipping her coat over her shoulders. On the porch he pulled her into his arms to kiss her the way he had wanted to when they were inside.

“Mac, when did you find out about the baby?”

“Yesterday morning. I wanted to surprise you.”

“You did...and it was a fabulous surprise. Mac I know I sprung my proposal on you and you don’t like surprises, but I really want to get married before we announce we’re having a baby.”

“I know...I do too. Think we can be ready in about a month?”

“Depends on how big and fancy you want to go.”

“I want a small wedding...you and me mostly.”

“That would be good...perfect in fact.”

“Harm, our dinner is getting cold.”

“Let’s go in...we’ll talk more about this tonight at home.”

“That sounds good...home. Harm, do you remember what started us actually moving on this path?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“What was it?”

“It was my reaction when you said “us” - I just knew it was time to go for it.”

Covering her lower stomach she smiled up at Harm. “I kind of like the reaction to us, too.” Together they returned to the dinner table with a lot more to be thankful for then anyone else knew - yet.

Epilogue

Harmon Rabb and Sarah Mackenzie were married in a quiet ceremony at the chapel as part of the Christmas Eve program. Chaplain Turner conducted the service. Bud and Harriet Roberts were the official witnesses. They would also serve as the godparents a few months later. Sarah Mackenzie Rabb remained at JAG while Harm took a position at the Pentagon when they returned after their honeymoon in January.

On July 4, twins were born to the Rabb family. A son, they named Aaron Mackenzie Rabb and a daughter, Sarah Grace Rabb - who would be nicknamed Grace.

THE END