Title: Silence
Author: Hollyjp
Classification: Harm/Mac relationship building
Spoilers: Any thing and everything from Season 9 episodes and spoilers as well as episodes from past seasons.
Standard Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.
AN: On the Harmy Board there was a lengthy discussion about what possible reason there could be to explain the way things have unfolded as they have so far this year. Several people had great theories and some of them made their way into this fanfic. So, Harmy Ladies, thank you for your inspiration! I hope this story comes out worthy enough to dedicate it to you and your wonderful theories. Thank you!
Chapter 1
0723 Local
North of Union Station
“Mattie, I’m going down to start the car. Let’s go!” Harm called as he put on his cover and shifter his briefcase to his other hand. Harm shrugged in his coat bracing himself for the cold temperatures he knew he’s find outside. Pushing open the door, he used his keyless entry system to unlock the SUV. Tossing in his briefcase he slid behind the wheel and inserted the key into the ignition. Turning the key, nothing happened...no click...nothing.
“No! Not a dead battery...can’t be...” Harm sputtered as he got out of the vehicle and raised the hood. One of the cables on the battery looked loose, so he pushed it on, dropped the hood and slid into the SUV to try to start it again. The SUV’s ignition turning over was the last thing Harm heard before the blast and darkness.
Mattie was just stepping out of the elevator when she heard the explosion.
“Harm?” Mattie called as she opened the door. It was then she spotted him on the ground next to the SUV. “Harm! Oh God! No Harm...wake up!” Mattie was frantic as she reached her guardian and kneeled on the ground beside him. As she knelt over him, she rested one knee on the ground and felt something hard with her knee. As she reached to move it, she realized it was his cell phone. With it she called 911 and told them what had happened. They had her check for a pulse, which she felt in his neck, and then feel for air. She placed her face near his face and could feel his breath and see his chest moving. The operator on the line assured her these were all good signs.
“What’s your name?” the 911 operator asked.
“Mattie Grace. Harm’s my guardian.”
“Well, Mattie Grace, you’re doing good. Do you see any blood on him anywhere?”
“No...but his car is pretty messed up.”
“Aahh...do I hear the sirens?”
“Yeah, I think so...yes they just got here.”
“Okay, Mattie. They’ll take care of him from here.”
“Thank you.” Mattie said before disconnecting the call. The police and ambulance arrived at the same time. Again Mattie identified Harm and herself. The police officer made her stand to one side so they could work. Mattie looked at the cell phone in her hand. She scrolled the numbers and right there at the top of the list was Mac’s name. Mattie didn’t even hesitate. She pressed the button and waited for Mac to pick up.
“Colonel Mackenzie.”
“Mac, it’s Mattie...Harm’s been hurt.”
“What? How? Where is he?”
“He came out to start the car and I heard a boom and when I came out he was on the ground and unconscious. I don’t see any blood...”
“Mattie did you call 911?”
“Yes, they’re loading him into the ambulance now.”
“Where are they taking him?”
“Excuse me...where are you taking him?”
“Georgetown Medical Center.”
“I heard, Mattie. Tell them he’s navy and to take him to Bethesda.”
“He’s Navy and needs to go to Bethesda.”
“Okay...we’ll call it in. You coming?”
“Mac, should I go with them?”
“Yes. I’ll see you there.”
“Mac?”
“Yes?”
“Hurry...I’m scared.”
“He’ll be okay Mattie. We’ll get him through this.”
Mattie climbed into the ambulance with Harm. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him all the way to Bethesda.
Same Time
Interstate
Mac changed directions and called into JAG HQ.
“Coates, this is Colonel Mackenzie. I need to speak to the Admiral ASAP.”
“He’s not in a very good mood, Ma’am.”
“I don’t care Coates. This is an emergency. Put me through to him.”
“Aye, Aye, Ma’am.”
“Chegwidden.”
“Admiral, Commander Rabb has been injured and is on his way to Bethesda by ambulance. Mattie is with him and I’m en route to meet them there.”
“What in hell happened, Colonel?”
“It sounds like there may have been some tampering done to his car to cause it to explode - maybe the battery. Mattie said she couldn’t see any blood but he was unconscious and on the ground when she found him.”
“Alright Colonel. I’ll call Kershaw and Webb and let them know you’ve been detained.”
“Thank you Admiral.”
“Mac?”
“Yes sir?”
“Keep me informed.”
“Yes sir!”
0815 Local
Bethesda Medical Center
Emergency Entrance
Mattie watched as they wheeled Harm into an examination booth and a nurse directed her to a waiting area. Mattie tried to sit, but couldn’t stay still. She paced from one side of the waiting area to the other. When she saw Colonel Mackenzie coming toward her she ran to meet her and accepted the hug from Mac.
“Where is he?”
“They took him in to one of the exam rooms and they won’t tell me anything.”
“Wait here and I’ll see what I can find out.”
Mac approached the desk. “Excuse me, I’m here for Harmon Rabb. They brought him in a few minutes ago. May I see him?”
“I’m sorry Ma’am. Commander Rabb can’t have visitors right now as the doctor is trying to assess his injuries. The doctor will look for you in the waiting area, when he’s done.”
Mac wasn’t happy with the answer they gave her, but knew better then to push the staff. She returned to Mattie and sat with her on the couch. She wasn’t sure if she kept one arm around the teenager to comfort Mattie or herself.
As time slipped by, Mac was growing more concerned. She tried to hide it from Mattie, but the girl was too perceptive.
“You care about Harm too don’t you?...I mean as more then someone that works with him.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You’re here...you’re worried...and I heard what you said to the judge in court.”
“Mattie, I’m worried about Harm yes...and you if something happens to him..”
“Don’t! Don’t talk like that! He’s going to be okay....he’s got to be.” Mattie couldn’t stop the tears that flowed from her eyes, even when she squeezed them shut as tight as she could.
“Hey, hey Mattie...it’s okay. I’m not giving up on him. I’m worried too, but I know Harm. He’s a survivor.”
“Sometimes he doesn’t seem it...like last night.”
“What about last night?” Mac thought. They had exchanged words before they parted ways last night. Mac thought it was just another round in the every lasting dance that took them no where. She had gone to Harm’s apartment to tell him that she was being stalked and she was sure it was Sadik. She told him so that she could explain that for his and Mattie’s safety it was important that they keep their distance even more then ever. At first Harm’s eyes had lit up thinking he had found the reason she had told him they would never work as they left Paraguay, but Mac had burst his bubble again.
It had devastated her to turn a cold shoulder to him when he had insisted that he should go with her to go after Sadik. Mac had used the one thing that she knew would make him see reason - Mattie. She had told him that he would be an irresponsible parent if he ignored Mattie’s needs just to play super hero for a Marine that did not need him to rescue her every time things got tough. Her words had been somewhat scathing, but it was important to Mattie and Harm’s safety that she got through to him.
It had hurt her to hurt him, but he saw the sense in her words and as much as he didn’t want to let her walk out the door alone, he had issuing his own directive, “Be careful!” She had closed the door and walked away without another word, assured that he would not come after her and endanger himself or Mattie.
“Mattie, how did he act last night - after I left?”
“Like he was all alone...even with me there and asking for help on homework, he was deep in thought and seemed so sad. Did you guys fight?”
“Not really...”
“Mac, you’ve got to get in to see him so he knows you’re here and you care about him.”
“I think it will be more important that he knows you are safe.”
“But Mac...”
“Excuse me, are you here with Commander Rabb?” a woman in scrubs stood in the doorway.
“Yes. I’m Colonel Sarah Mackenzie and this is the Commander’s ward, Mattie Grace.”
“How is he?” asked Mattie.
“He’s lucky from what I can gather. The good news is that there are no internal injuries. The blast did knocked him unconscious and he appears to have a mild concussion. He has regained consciousness, but he has lost his hearing. He’ll probably be a little disoriented and his affect may be somewhat flat, but that’s to be expected.”
“What’s that mean...his affect?” Mattie asked.
“It means that he may not show a lot of emotion in the way he talks. He’s going to miss the subtleness of voice and vocal inflections,” explained the doctor. “It will take him time to adjust to his handicap. He’s going to have to learn to communicate all over again by reading lips or sign. He can get by for a while writing things down. There will also be adaptions he’ll have to make in his home. Text messaging instead of his cell phone which will vibrate instead of ring; a flashing light on his phone and next to his door instead of a bell or knocking; there are many things that can be done so he can function in his own home and at work.”
“If he can’t hear, why would he need to know if his phone was ringing?”
“There are special phone systems where the caller’s voice is transcribed into text and arrives on a printer or a screen as words that can be read.”
“Wow! That’s cool!” Mattie enthused.
“Can we see him?” asked Mac.
“Yes. I’ve had him admitted upstairs in room 340. I want to keep him in for a day or two for observation. There is a chance that his hearing could return at least to some extent.”
“Thank you doctor.”
Together Mattie and Mac headed for the elevator and the hallway that would take them to Harmon Rabb’s side. As they approached room 340, Mattie slid her hand into Mac’s. Mac pushed the door open and saw Harm reclining in bed with his head partially raised. His eyes were darting at the ceiling and room around him.
“Hey Sailor.” Mac called as Mattie followed her into the room. Harm’s eyes didn’t focus on her. For a split second she thought he was avoiding her and then reality hit. Harm hadn’t seen her and couldn’t hear her.
At the same time Mattie rushed toward Harm’s side to hug him. Mac saw the startled expression cross his face as the teenager landed against him. His eyes darted from Mattie to Mac and then fixed themselves on Mac.
For a second Mac saw the confusion and fear in his eyes before he regained his composure and the shutters snapped in place. Slowly his arms came up and he took Mattie’s arms to sit her up so he could see her face.
“I’m okay,” he said. “Just can’t hear right now.” His voice was a little louder then what Harm would normally speak.
“Harm, what happened?” Mattie asked.
“What?”
“Mattie use the paper and pen and write down your question.”
Mattie took the paper and wrote the words as she spoke, “What happened?”
Harm nodded, “Not sure. Car didn’t start. I got out and looked under the hood. It looked like a cable to the battery had come loose so I put it back on. I got in to start the car and heard it turn over and then a bang and then nothing.”
Mac reached for the paper and wrote one word, “Sabotage?”
Harm just shrugged his response.
“I’ll get someone to check it out,” Mac told him.
“What?” he asked as he shook his head in frustration.
Mac wrote her statement down.
“Thanks...let the Admiral know?”
“Done.” Mac said as she nodded her head.
“Mattie you need to go to school.”
“I want to stay with you.”
“You can’t. Mac?”
“Yes?”
“Could you drop Mattie at school for me? I’m just glad she hadn’t gotten in first or tried to start it for me this morning.”
Mac nodded and said, “I’ll be glad to Harm. I’ll try to check on you later.”
He nodded as he carefully watched Mac’s lips as he tried to understand what she was saying. He discovered that if he focused it wasn’t too bad...he could get most of it. Lost in thought he didn’t realize at first that Mac and Mattie were still trying to communicate with him.
Mac had written, “I’ll get Mattie to school. You rest. See you later.”
Mattie hugged him again and this time he hugged her back. He reached for Mac’s hand as she turned to walk away. When she turned back he held on to her hand and mouth the words, “Thank you and be careful.”
Mac smiled, “I will.”
Harm watched them leave and then closed his eyes. He needed some rest. Made when he woke up his hearing would be back.
Chapter 2
1135 Local
CIA Headquarters
Langley, Virginia
Mac took her seat at the table with Deputy Director Kershaw and Clayton Webb.
“Sorry I’m late. Did the Admiral fill you in?”
“Yes. Is Rabb going to be okay?”
“He’s deaf. They don’t know if his hearing will return or not.”
“We sent a team out to check it out. We have his SUV and the initial report from the team is sabotage. Who ever did it, was rushing and didn’t make sure the connections was on properly. If Rabb hadn’t fixed the problem, the battery wouldn’t have blown.”
“Any ideas who’s behind it?” Mac asked.
“It’s probably one of Sadik’s men. They’ve seen you and Rabb together a couple of times now and Sadik likes to go after people close to his target.” Webb explained.
“Then why didn’t he go after me instead of you in Paraguay?” Mac challenged him.
“This is a new strategy probably as a result of that experience...and the fact he thought you were pregnant,” Kershaw explained.
“You know, Sarah, you’ve compromised our plan by publically connecting yourself to Rabb again,” commented Clay.
“It was your idea and not mine, Webb.. Do you have any idea what I gave up to try and get Sadik without anyone else becoming a victim?”
“My point exactly...That’s a lot of heartache and pain to throw away not to mention the consequences if Sadik slips past us again.” Webb tone was somewhat sarcastic as he chided Mac for being seen in public outside of work with Harm.
“Enough, Clay. Your not getting anywhere berating Sarah. Let’s hope that we still have enough surveillance to get the job done.” Kershaw sounded like he was scolding a petulant school child.
“What do you suggest?” Mac asked turning to Kershaw and trying to ignore Webb. Just looking at him filled her with anger lately.
“As you know we have a team watching his every move and charting his routines. He has changed his look three times recently, so getting that tracking device under his skin was a major accomplishment.”
“How did they manage to do that without him knowing it?”
“We followed him into a crowded area and managed to inject him when a pushing and shoving match broke out. If he realized anything at all, he probably thought he was stung,” Webb explained.
“So what’s he look like now?” Mac asked.
Kershaw turned to the computer and spoke into the microphone, “Can you get him in your cell phone lens view?” They all watched as the screen in front of them showed people in a restaurant and then focused in on one man. There in front of them was the man they were after.
Mac studied the picture closely, carefully watching his movements. Deep inside she knew that knowing this man’s appearance was going to make the difference between life and death - perhaps her own.
1555 Local
Room 340
Bethesda Medical Center
Harm lay in his bed, his eyes shut so he could pretend it was night and the quiet was natural. His head still hurt but it was nothing compared to the way it felt after the plane crash in Paraguay. He kept thinking about Mac. Last night she had come to him to make sure that he stayed away because Sadik and his goons were after her. He had known they would come. He wanted to distract them and be there to protect her, but she would have none of it. She insisted she could take care of herself. And she insisted that she would protect him. He was not going to have any of it and then she had said the one thing that would make him listen...Mattie’s safety.
Mac had attacked him as a parent to drive her point home. It killed a piece of Harm inside every time he had to chose between being there for Mac and someone else. The first time he had ignored Mac, she had seemed to change her mind and told him to contact her later. After the fiasco with her husband, when he had chosen to listen to his needs over hers, he had always tried to ignore his needs. When it had been between Mac and Renee, Renee was the weaker of the two women, yet it had bothered him that he had turned Mac away. He was never sure if it was because he felt his need to be with her was greater then her need to be with him and that was why he had turned her away or if he really felt he had to stand by Renee.
He had gone to Mac in Paraguay because he felt she needed him and yet she had not shown him any gratitude and had kept throwing Webb in his face and pointing out his flaws and weaknesses. He could deal with that - just by giving as good as he got. What had really thrown him was her rapid turn about when she had declared they would never work. He had thought that when they got back to their real world and things were settled, they would move forward - until she had made that announcement.
He had tried to get back their friendship at least, even though it ate at him whenever she mentioned Webb. He had heard her say things and saw her watching him sometimes recently that led him to believe that maybe she was reconsidering her never statement. Mattie’s presence had eased the tension between them most of the time and he felt that Mac wanted to be a part of their family again.
Last night when she had come to him about the stalker and told him she thought it was Sadik, he had wanted to go with her to end this nightmare, but Mac once again pointed out she didn’t need him and that he would be a lousy parent if he didn’t put Mattie first. So he had sucked it up and agreed to let her go alone, thanked her for worrying about him and then told her to be careful.
Despite all of that, Mattie had been in danger this morning. Thankfully she hadn’t been hurt, just scared to find him. And now he would have to learn how to function without his hearing.
Mattie Grace had taken the bus after school and quietly entered Harm’s room. He was in bed as he had been that morning, but his eyes were shut. Mattie quietly went into the room and curled up in the chair next to his bed. She took out a book that she had been assigned to read for both English and history and decided to work on tonight’s assignment while she waited for Harm to wake up.
Harm lay in the bed, eyes shut, wondering when someone would come by. It was lonely having it so quiet. Slowly his nose began to tell him that someone was in the room. He could smell a musty smell that wasn’t in the room before. Slowly he opened his eyes and turned his head to find the source of the odor. There in the chair next to his bed, was Mattie curled up reading a book that had seen better days.
“Hey,” Harm spoke.
Mattie jumped, “Harm, you’re awake!” She grabbed her paper and pen and wrote, “How are you?”
“Better...still can’t hear.”
Harm saw Mattie’s lips move. He asked her to say it again slower so he could try to read her lips. Again he watched them move.
“**** Mac been ***” Mattie asked him again.
“Has Mac been here?” Harm repeated to her.
“That’s what I’m asking you?” Mattie responded and she saw Harm get a confused look on his face.
“Mattie, I didn’t get that...I was asking you if you asked me if Mac had been here.”
“Oh...sorry” Mattie grinned.
“I got that! You said ‘oh sorry’ didn’t you?”
Mattie grinned and nodded her head yes.
“I haven’t seen her hear since she left this morning. I doubt she’ll be back...”
“Harm...” Mattie said his name as she touched his arm. He looked up at her and smiled. Mattie went on, “Mac promised me she’d check on you...”
“Mattie, I’m sorry...I’m not sure what you are saying. Can you write it, please?”
Mattie picked up the pen and wrote:
*Mac said she’d check on you for me*
“She probably called the desk and if there had been a problem she would have gotten you and come back.”
“Maybe.”
“You said maybe”
“Yes.”
“I think I can figure most of the one word answers...Sorry to make it so tough to have a conversation...”
*can’t be helped right now*
“Mattie, where’s my cell phone?”
“Home.”
“If I had that we could do text messaging and then both of us would be writing.”
Harm saw Mattie turn suddenly toward the door and smile. He looked at what had drawn her attention. Mac was there and was talking. Mattie was laughing and talking to her. He looked back and forth between them...his frustration was growing by the second at not knowing what was being said, what the joke was and he was jealous that Mac was bringing joy to Mattie and he couldn’t. All he did was make life for difficult for everyone. He stopped trying to follow their conversation, closed his eyes and escaped in to his own world of quiet darkness that he retreated to when life was too much.
Within seconds he felt Mac’s hand on his arm. He knew it was her without looking because of the electricity she sent through his body every time they touched. This time, like this morning, it seemed so much sharper. Reluctantly he opened his eyes.
Mac stood there holding out his cell phone. On it was note saying he had a message. He pressed the button and read it.
*The doctor mentioned this morning that text messaging was a great way to communicate. I stopped by your place and picked up your cell on the way over so you’d have it.*
“Thanks Mac...”
She took her wireless and tapped in some letters. *glad I could do something*
“Any news?”
*we’re on his trail. Your battery exploding may have been his idea but not his work. Too sloppy*
“Thank God!” He looked at Mac and she nodded.
*I can’t stay. I’ll check in often though.*
“Thanks.”
*Harm - it won’t feel as odd when you answer with text as well.*
Harm nodded knowing Mac was right. Mattie gave him a hug and left with Mac. He felt the phone vibrate and he looked down. Another message.
*Harm, Mac’s taking me home. I’ll send you a message later. Rest awhile. Love you.*
Harm picked up his unit and punched in his text response. * Love you too kiddo. Thank Mac for me. Don’t forget to do your homework.*
As Mac and Mattie got in Mac’s car Mattie laughed. “Harm’s going to be alright isn’t he Mac?”
“He certainly is taking his disability in stride right now. I called to check on him earlier and the doctor said he was doing well and that Harm may be able to go home tomorrow.”
“Thanks Mac. Mac?”
“Yes Mattie?”
“If Harm doesn’t get his hearing back will he be able to stay in the Navy?”
“Maybe, at least on a limited basis. He’ll be restricted to research and writing briefs and filing documents, but there is a need and they will probably keep him on for now at least on a limited basis.”
“Harm won’t like that.”
“No he won’t. He’ll deal with it though. And remember, there is still a chance his hearing could return.”
1715 Local
Room 340
Bethesda Medical Center
The nurse brought in food for Harm. It was nothing he felt like eating so again he shut the world out by closing his eyes and thinking. How was he going to survive as a lawyer without his hearing. He relied on it to detect the little nuances in a person’s voice when he had them on the stand ans when he conducted an interrogation. He knew Mac was good at it so maybe he could trust her to read the things he couldn’t hear. Instead he could focus on the visual information.
They say that when you lose one of your senses you compensate by learning to use the others more effectively. He was already using his nose. That’s how he knew when Mattie had been sitting there reading. The old book had given her away. With Mac, there was some inner connection that told him she was nearby, even before he lost his hearing. When she came to see him now, he felt her presence in the room more strongly then ever.
Harm jumped at the vibration he felt on his stomach. Opening his eyes, he spotted the cell phone laying on his stomach. He picked it up. He had a text message.
*Harm - AJ - Mac filled me in - give it a few days - then we’ll see where we are and what we need to do - Anything you need?*
*My hearing back would be good - Mac is after Sadik - keep her safe*
*I’ll try*
*Sir? Are there some things I can do at home for a few days? Prepare motions? research?*
*I’ll send Coates with some things for you.*
*Thanks*
*Later*
Harm closed his phone and put it back on his stomach. Maybe he could be useful and this test messaging put them on even ground at least. If he could just master lip reading it would make life manageable.
Harm jumped again as he felt a hand touch his shoulder.
A woman in a white lab jacket stood next to him with a white board. On it she wrote *I’m Pam O’Malley and I have been sent to evaluate your communication skills*
“Pam, I’m Harm. I can talk but I can’t hear. I can read and write; I can text message and there are a few words I can lip read. Think you can help?”
“Sure” she said as she nodded yes. “Have you ever used sign language?” she asked as she started moving her hands around. Harm watched her with a frown trying to figure out what she was saying.
“What a minute...I can’t read your lips when you keep moving your hands around.”
Pam laughed and then spoke slowly but naturally. “It’s not easy. Try to get the idea and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t assume anything.” She watched Harm study her and repeated herself.
“Not easy ***afraid***ask questions ***anything”
On the board Pam wrote *Not easy. Get the main idea and ask questions. Don’t assume*
Harm looked at her, “I got some of it. I get tired fast.”
“That’s to be expected,” Pam said as she wrote on the board. *Expected* “I’m going to leave you some video tapes for you to use when you go home tomorrow to practice lip reading.”
“What?”
*Concentrate* “I’m leaving you some videos.” She wrote *videos for practice* “They’ll help you learn to lip read.”
“Thank you.”
Harm watched as Pam left his room. Video tapes to learn to communicate. Looked like the TV and VCR he had bought was going to get a work out. The back of the video mentioned the use of closed caption. It looked like the practice he got reading subtitles at the foreign films Renee had liked would come in handy.
Harm sighed. He needed to get up and use the head. Earlier they had made him use a bedpan. He decided that if he just got up they wouldn’t know the difference. He carefully swung his feet around to the side of the bed and eased himself onto his feet. He hung onto the bed while he got his balance. Carefully he took a few steps, with one hand on the bed. He was shaky from inactivity but not light headed or dizzy. With more confidence he stepped away from the bed and made his way toward the bathroom. With his back to the room door he didn’t see his visitor approach or the blush that stained her cheeks when she saw his six visible in the open back of the hospital gown.
Quickly Harriet backed out of the room and waited for a few minutes to give Harm time to use the bathroom and get back to his bed. She had stopped by his apartment and picked up some things for him with Mattie’s help. Everyone was rallying to help Harm. After last year when no one seemed to step up to help him they all jumped at the chance to be there for their favorite Commander.
Harm had just settled back into bed relieved that no one had caught him in his open back hospital gown when Lt. Harriet Sims had opened his door and peeked in. He saw her immediately because he had watched the door willing it not to open while he was so exposed. He had planned to call Mattie and have her get some clothes together for him, but it would wait now until after Harriet’s visit.
“How are you Commander?”
“A little shaky but I’m okay.”
“Has your hearing returned?”
He looked a little puzzled and then asked, “Did you ask about my hearing?”
“Yes sir...I guess there’s no improvement.”
“Harriet, write some of the important words on the board for me to read.”
“Yes sir.” *I brought clothes Mattie packed for you*
“Thanks Harriet. I hope I do get to go home tomorrow.”
“I can’t stay long but I wanted to check in and bring these things by. Anything you need?” *Need anything?*
“Not now. Thanks Harriet.”
“We’ll see you soon, sir.” *Got to go* Harriet wrote.
“Say hi to the boys for me, and Bud.”
Harriet nodded as she waved and made her escape. After seeing his well formed six she was still feeling a little warm. She wondered if Mac had any idea what she was passing up. She couldn’t or she would have been declared insane years ago! Harriet was looking forward to the next girls’ gab session. She planned to watch Mac’s face carefully as she mentioned the view she had when she peeked into the Commander’s room. She could tell a lot from Mac’s reaction.
Chapter 3
2139 Local
North of Union Station
Mattie and Jen’s apartment
Mattie had just finished her math homework when she heard a knock on the door.
“Jen are you expecting anyone?”
“No. You?”
“Uh-uh...better use the peep-hole,” Mattie talked mostly to herself as she went to answer the door. “It’s Mac!” Mattie pulled the door open.
“Hi Mattie. I hope I’m not bothering you this late and all...”
“No, come on in. Any luck finding the jerk that did this to Harm?”
“Not yet, but we’re getting closer. Mattie, look, I wondered if you heard from Harm tonight.”
“Not recently. Harriet stopped by earlier and got some clothes for him. She thought he’d be more comfortable then in a hospital gown and he’s hoping they’ll let him come home tomorrow.”
“I know. I’ve arranged to have some people come in and get his apartment ready for him.”
“What do you mean Mac?”
“Well, they are hooking up a doorbell that will activate a strobe light instead of a buzzer. They are putting in a special phone that will print out text but allow him to talk. There will also be light on it instead of the ringer.”
“Wow...that’s great Mac. Harm will appreciate that. I know he’ll want to be busy so he doesn’t have to think about his hearing. The admiral sent some work home for him with Jen. If he doesn’t come home tomorrow I’ll take it to him at the hospital when I go.”
“Look, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get away tomorrow or not, but I’d like to pick Harm up and bring him home if he’ll let me. Do you mind?” Mac asked Mattie.
“No Mac. Why would you even ask?”
“You’re family now. You may have already made arrangements.”
“Mac, if I had, I’d have called you.”
“Thanks Mattie. Are you going to call him tonight?”
“I was going to send him a text message to say goodnight. When he’s not home, I miss having him check my math and do that parental stuff.”
“Tell him I’ll be there in the morning if I can to bring him home.”
“Mac, let’s do it now.” Mattie grabbed her phone and started the first message.
Same Time
Room 340
Bethesda Medical Center
Harm felt the vibration against his side where the phone had slid. He picked it up and read the message from Mattie.
*Harm, My homework’s done. Mac’s here. Are they letting you come home tomorrow?*
*Yes. The doctor just left. I’ll be released around 0900*
*Mac will pick you up*
*Its okay. I can take the bus.*
*Don’t be a fool. I’ll be there.*
*Hey Mac. Thanks*
*I’ll see you then.*
*Mac?*
*Yes*
*Hug Mattie goodnight for me?*
*Sure*
*Harm I’m not a baby*
*Humor me squirt.*
*See you tomorrow*
*Night*
Harm closed the phone and lay back. He could almost feel Mac’s arms around Mattie and Mattie’s arms hugging Mac. He sighed and thought about being home tomorrow. He shut off his light and allowed sleep to take him into his escape. In dreams he could hear again.
0900 Local
Room 340
Bethesda Medical Center
As promised Mac walked through the door seconds after Harm’s doctor saw him and signed off that he could go home. He was dressed in his favorite old soft jeans and a dark v-neck sweater. Mac paused to take in the sight of him. He was a beautiful man and sometimes she just enjoyed looking at him. This time he caught her. Mac diverted her gaze and looked at his overnight bag.
“Ready?”
“Let’s get out of here. Thanks for coming Mac.”
“Your welcome.”
Harm smiled and nodded as he picked up his bag and headed for the door. Holding it open for Mac to precede him he waited for her to move into the hall.
They got into the car and Harm found himself nervous and edgy as they moved into traffic. His eyes were darting back and forth trying to take it all in. He jumped when he felt Mac’s hand on his knee.
“Harm, relax. I’ll get you home safely. You don’t have to be on top of every move. You’ve got to trust someone and I would think after all these years you could trust me a little.” Mac glanced over and realized that Harm didn’t even know she was talking to him. He was staring at her hand on his knee. She heard his accelerated breathing and removed her hand from his leg.
As she drove she felt his eyes on her. She glanced his way and smiled. She didn’t know how else to reassure him when she couldn’t write while driving and he couldn’t hear her words.
They arrived at Harm’s apartment with no problems, but Harm was visibly stressed. He hadn’t realized how much he used his hearing when he drove and being in traffic without being able to hear had been unnerving. He trusted Mac’s driving, although he enjoyed picking on her about it. He was glad to get home where quiet wouldn’t seem as strange. He grabbed his bag and was glad to see that Mac was going to come in with him.
Harm watched Mac’s mouth move and tried to guess at what she was saying. He was frustrated on one hand because he didn’t know what she was saying, but then know one would think anything of him staring at her mouth and he had always enjoyed looking at her mouth, although he had always been careful not to let anyone see him staring at her lips.
They stepped into the hall outside of his apartment. He saw Mac point to the doorbell and he shrugged until he saw her push the bell when he opened the door and a bright light flashed into the room. He stopped startled and looked at Mac.
“You behind this?”
Mac smiled and nodded.
“Thank you.”
“There’s more.”
“What?”
Mac stepped into the apartment and motioned Harm to follow her. She took out her cell phone and called his phone number. When it rang, the light flashed drawing his attention. He saw the strange set up and picked up the phone. Of course he couldn’t hear but when he spoke, Mac answered and the machine began printing out the words she said. He was able to read her words.
*Harm I had this installed for you so you could always be in touch.*
“Wow! That’s great Mac. Thanks.”
*Your welcome. You need to be independent and you need to use the phone. This system allows you to talk and read what the other person is saying.*
“How can I repay you Mac?”
*Do some research on a few cases for me?*
“Glad too. I need to be useful Mac.”
*I know. I talked to the admiral and we think there are enough things for you to do that we can justify keeping you on. Besides, your hearing will probably return before long.*
“I hope so.”
*Harm I’ve got to go. Anything you need before I do?*
“I guess not. Thanks again, Mac.”
Harm put down the hone and Mac disconnected her cell. It may have looked strange but it was a great way to show Harm his new devices and communicate with him.
Mac turned to look at Harm. “Call me if you need anything.” Harm looked a little puzzled so she pointed to the phone and held her hand up to her ear as if she was on the phone and said, “call me” as she pretended to dial and then pointed to herself.
Harm got it then and nodded.
After Mac had left, he put away his things. He set the video tapes on lip reading on the table to check out later. He was feeling tired, so he decided to rest a little while before he started using the tapes. Less then two hours from the time Mac had arrived at the hospital to bring him home, he was asleep on his bed.
That’s where Mattie found him that afternoon when she got home from school. She wasn’t alarmed to find him resting, because she didn’t know what time he had gotten home or when he laid down for a nap. She had been a little concerned when he hadn’t answered his cell phone text message, however, when she discovered he had left it in his coat pocket she understood why he had missed the call. She hadn’t tried his new phone, because she wasn’t sure how it had worked.
Harm realized that Mattie was home and so he got up to spend some time with her. She fixed them a snack while he used the bathroom and then they settled at the table to work. Mattie took out her homework and Harm grabbed the files Mac had left him. Mattie would show him her homework after each problem. He would smile and nod if she was right and point to where she needed to correct her work if she made an error.
Finally Mattie wrote on a piece of paper, *Did you lose your voice?*
Harm laughed then and answered, “No...I guess I forgot I could talk. Guess I thought I’d be disturbing the peace and quiet if I opened my mouth.”
Mattie laughed then too as some of her tension with his strange behavior eased at his comment. Together they fixed dinner using voice and gestures to communicate. After they ate, Mattie set up the TV and VCR so they could view the tapes together. Harm had forgotten about them and realized they probably would have set there ignored if Mattie hadn’t taken charge. A niggling sense of lethargy nudged Harm’s consciousness but he managed to ignore that too as they viewed the tapes.
Mattie decided that it would be fun to try learning lip reading herself and might even come in handy someday as she viewed the tapes with Harm and made sure he followed the lessons on the tape. Mattie discovered that she was catching on quickly - more so then Harm. She scolded him for not trying and he complained of being tired and unable to focus. After an hour she let him off the hook and said good-night saying she would see him in the morning before she left for school. Harm hugged her and nodded. He hadn’t gotten any of what she had said.
After she left he turned off the lights in his loft and went back to bed still wearing his jeans and sweater.
0715 Local
North of Union Station
Harm’s Apartment
Mattie let herself into the apartment as usual to have ‘breakfast’ with Harm before going to school. Another words, she grabbed some juice or a piece of fruit and a granola bar to eat on the way. This morning he was still in bed. Mattie thought maybe he had a rough night so she let him sleep and left him a note before heading to school.
*Harm, Hope you are feeling okay. Call me or Mac if you need something. See you around 5:30 when I get home...volleyball practice tonight. Love, Mattie*
At 0800 the strobe light on his phone went off. Harm covered his head with a pillow and ignored it. Mac tried again later during court recess with no results. At lunch time she tried again and there was still no response. She tried sending him a text message and later an email. There was no response from Harm with those methods either. As the day wore on she was getting more and more concerned. She didn’t want to worry Mattie so she didn’t check with her, but when she was able to secure after court, she headed for Harm’s apartment. Something told her that all was not right with the situation. Her greatest fear was that Sadik or his men had struck again.
Chapter 4
1720 Local
North of Union Station
Harm’s Apartment
Mac rang the door bell. She heard nothing from inside the apartment. She used her key and unlocked the door, calling Harm’s name. There was no response. The apartment was dark. Mac turned on a light and looked around. Nothing had been disturbed. She went up the stairs into the bedroom. His back was to her but she realized he was wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday when she had brought him home. He was laying on top of the covers. She walked around the side of the bed so she could see if his eyes were closed or not. They were. She also noticed that he had not shaven and his hair looked dull...not like the usually immaculate Harmon Rabb she knew.
Mac touched his knee and he jerked away and then sat up. His voice when he spoke was hoarse as if he hadn’t spoken all day.
“Hey Mac. Must have fallen asleep. What time is it?”
Mac showed him her watch.
He nodded and said, “Mattie should be home soon.”
Mac watched him get up and move to the kitchen. He seemed to be distracted as he looked into the refrigerator and then the cupboards as if he was trying to figure out what to do next.
Mac grabbed a paper and wrote on it.
*Tried calling you today. Problems with the phone?*
“No. Guess I didn’t hear it.”
*Harm, it flashes a light, remember?*
“Oh yeah...guess I didn’t see it.”
*What’s wrong?*
“I’m deaf, Mac.”
*What else?*
“Nothing.”
*Go shower. I’ll make dinner*
“Okay. Thanks.”
Harm left the kitchen and Mac heard the shower running. She fixed a salad while she put some of his homemade soup on to heat. She put rolls in the oven to warm. It wasn’t much but she knew Harm hadn’t eaten all day and something light in his stomach would probably be wise.
Mattie came in just as she was getting ready to serve it up.
“Hi Mac. What’s up?”
“Hey Mattie...talk to Harm at all today?”
“No. He was still asleep when I left this morning. I left him a note. He okay?”
“I guess so, it’s just...”
“What Mac?”
“He was still in bed wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday when I got here. I tried calling him several times and he didn’t respond at all. He went up to take a shower and dress when I started dinner. It’s not much - leftovers.”
“That’s great Mac...soup and salad is fine with me. So is this the flat affect the doctor talked about?”
“Maybe...although I would describe it more as lethargy.”
“Should we get him to the doctor?”
“I’m not sure. I think I’ll call him at least and see what he thinks.”
“Thanks Mac. Hey Harm!...Whoops, I keep forgetting he can’t hear me.”
“He doesn’t usually take this long to shower and dress...” Mac went up the stairs into his bedroom to find him in sweat pants and a t-shirt laying on the bed. Again she touched his knee and gestured to him to come eat. He shook his head and Mac pulled on his arm. This time he got up and Mac faced him and said quietly, “Mattie’s home. Don’t scare her.”
Harm frowned but must have gotten some of what Mac said as he followed her to the dining area and sat down next to Mattie. This time he didn’t smile. Mattie looked at Mac, tears glistening in her eyes.
They all ate a little but everyone seemed to have lost their appetite. As soon as the table was cleared, Mac took out her cell phone and called the doctor.
“I’m concerned because he seems so lethargic. What can we do?”
“It’s not all that unusual, but I am concerned that it seems to be getting worse and we didn’t see it at all in the hospital. If he’s not having any pain, then I would suggest making him be active and having someone stay with him that won’t allow him to withdraw.”
“Could he go into the JAG office?”
“It might not hurt. Try to keep him into a routine. If he needs to rest limit it to an hour at a time other then at night. If he’s slept most of the day, he may try to stay awake tonight. If you can get him active for a few hours this evening, it might help him to sleep later.”
“Lifting weights, jogging, swimming?”
“Those should work.”
“Great. What about making him communicate? What should we do?”
“Ask him questions; make him think; challenge him if it will make him want to say something. And if you don’t see any change after two or three days - or if he gets angry or seems to be in pain - bring him in.”
“Thank you Doctor.”
And so after filling Mattie in, Mac called the Admiral and explained the problem. He agreed to have Rabb in the office and assigned Mac to keep at him and if she needed a break, enlist the help of Bud and Sturgis.
Mac broke the news to Harm and then informed him she needed his help at the fitness center and he might as well work out. Reluctantly he went with her. Mattie watched them go as she returned to the apartment she shared with Jennifer Coates.
Mac told Harm, she wanted him to run beside her on the tread mill because she kept a better pace that way and she had to get ready for her physical endurance test in a couple of weeks. Harm never questioned it and did as he was asked. After doing an hour on the treadmill they did circuit training with the weights and finished off with laps in the pool.
Mac would have enjoyed the docile ‘do as he was told Rabb’, except for it was so out of character that it was scarey and Mac would have given anything to see him fight her just a little on anything.
When they left the fitness center, they stopped at Mac’s apartment to get a clean uniform and her overnight bag. She told Harm she would camp at his place to make sure he got his six out of bed in the morning so neither or them were late for work. He had just nodded his acquiescence.
Harm said goodnight when they returned to his apartment and laid down on his bed fully dressed. Mac had showered at the gym, so she changed into her pajamas in Harm’s bathroom, said goodnight on her way through and took pillows and blankets out of his closet to make her bed on his couch.
0240 Local
Harm’s Apartment
Mac was sleeping restlessly on the couch when she heard Harm yelling. She listened to see if he said anything else. Seconds later she heard him call out again, “Don’t touch her!”
Mac got up and moved toward Harm’s bed. He was tossing and turning on the bed and mumbling. Suddenly he grab one of the pillows in his fist and threw it, “Mac Run!”
Mac tried to stay away from his flailing arms as she touched him to wake him up. Harm sat up in bed breathing hard, his heart racing as he looked around and then spotted Mac at his side. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms and lay back on the bed with her mumbling, “I thought they had taken you away from me. I can’t lose you. Don’t leave me Mac.”
The fear and longing in his voice brought out the nurturing side of Mac and she relaxed in his arms as she tried to calm him by caressing his face and messaging his arms as he held her. Eventually he relaxed enough so that she got him under the covers and his sweatshirt off of him. He held on to her so she gave in and let him hold her as they both returned to a more peaceful sleep.
0615 Local
North of Union Station
Harm’s Apartment
Mac woke up first slightly confused by the strong bands that held her in place against a warm but solid wall. As Mac shook off the sleepiness she realized that the bands were Harm’s arms and the solid wall his body. She managed to slip out of his hold and made her way into the shower. Slipping into the clean underclothes she had brought into the bathroom with her, she wrapped herself in Harm’s robe and went to wake him up. She gently shook him and when he opened his eyes and looked at her, she gestured for him to go shower. She pointed first to him, then toward the bathroom and held her hand over her head like a shower head. Harm nodded and got out of bed to do as she instructed.
Mac dressed in her clean uniform and stepped into the kitchen to pour coffee and fix some breakfast. Mattie came in at 0700 for her fruit and granola and to say good morning.
“How’s Harm this morning?”
“Well he’s getting ready to go to JAG. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so agreeable to following directives.”
“You mean orders?” Mattie grinned.
“I’ve tried not to make them orders - just suggestions. He’s complied, but I anticipated more arguments about it.” Just then Harm joined them in the kitchen. Harm spoke but wasn’t smiling or animated like he usually was.
“Morning Mattie. Ready for school.”
“Yeah, sure. Can you guys come to the volleyball match this afternoon?”
Harm shrugged and Mac stepped in. “What time Mattie?”
“Usually we start around four...it’s okay if you can’t make it.”
“We’ll try to get there. Mattie?”
“Yeah, Mac?”
“I’ll get him there.”
“Thanks.”
“Have a good day and we’ll see you later.”
Mattie left for school and Mac urged Harm along so they could leave for JAG.
Mac tried talking to Harm using gestures and lip reading. He wasn’t focused so she ended up writing things down again. Still he seemed lethargic to her. Instead of giving up she resolved to keep urging him to do things, to think and to produce work. They had worked through lunch so that Mac could get them out in time to get to Mattie’s game. She was about to leave when the Admiral asked to see her.
“How’s he doing Mac?”
“His work is perfect. I have to keep him going. He’ll do a task and then sit there and wait. There’s no emotion from him at all. He doesn’t smile and he was doing that before at the hospital. I think something is wrong.”
“Could it be a delayed reaction?”
“Maybe. I talked to the doctor yesterday and he said that it wasn’t uncommon for someone to become very lethargic and have a flat affect. He said to make him work out if possible and get him into routines and make him stay with them.”
“You said he had slept most of the day yesterday. Did he sleep last night?”
“Yeah. He did have a nightmare but he settled down and he was asleep when I got up this morning. I’m hoping that going to Mattie’s game will help get him interested in life.”
“Good luck Colonel. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you Admiral.”
1555 Local
Mattie’s High School
Gymnasium
When Mac pulled into the parking lot she looked at Harm and saw his eyes were closed and he appeared to be asleep.
She parked the car and climbed out going around to his door. Harm opened his eyes and reached to open the door. He saw Mac waiting for him.
“Mac I’m so tired I don’t know if I can stay awake during Mattie’s game.”
Mac stood in front of him where he could see her and spoke as she nodded her head and gestured to him.
“Yes you can - for Mattie.”
Harm nodded that he understood and followed her into the gym and located seats for them in the bleachers. Mattie spotted them and waved. Her excitement was visible. Harm returned her smile. The first one Mac had seen from him all day.
Mattie had played a fantastic game. When it ended and they had won, she ran to Mac and Harm. Her excitement and animation were evident in the way she smiled and her eyes sparkled. Even Harm caught her exuberance for a few minutes. She asked him if she could go with her team for pizza and meet them at home later. At first Harm shrugged and then when he looked at Mac and saw her facial expression, he nodded. Mac had quietly squeezed his hand and smiled.
After exchanging hugs, Mattie left with her teammates and Mac and Harm headed for the car. “Mac, when we get to my place I’ve got to get some sleep.”
Mac found a piece of paper and wrote on it.
*Rest in the car. I need to stop by my place. I’ll call for take out. What do you want?*
“I don’t care.”
“Fine” *Fine. Hungary Marine here*
Harm smiled and closed his eyes. Mac drove to her apartment to pick up more clothes. While she was there she called the Italian restaurant near Harm’s for Eggplant parmesan, Spaghetti with meat sauce, two salads, and garlic bread. She left Harm alone in the car and did not disturb him until she parked outside his place. She roused him then and as he got out she handed him his briefcase and one of the take-out bags. Locking her car she followed him to the apartment.
She convinced him to eat a little but he kept complaining he was tired. She decided to let him have an early night, but planned to get him up and out early in the morning to go for a run. Instead of working out this evening she tried to get him to few his video lesson on lip reading. He put it in and then about fifteen minutes into it she noticed his eyes were closed and he was leaning to one side.
She decided to let him go to bed and escape into sleep as he had kept busy all day. He wished her good-night and Mac took out a book to read. Mattie stopped by to talk about the game. She was disappointed that Harm had gone to bed, but understood when Mac explained how the doctor had wanted him to be pushed a little to get him into a routine. Mac offered to help Mattie with her homework, but she assured her that it was covered. Wishing Mac a goodnight Mattie went to the apartment next door she shared with Jennifer Coates.
Mac decided to call Kershaw and see what, if anything, was developing with Sadik.
“Sarah, it’s good to hear from you. How’s Rabb?”
“Physically he’s fine. His hearing hasn’t returned and he’s withdrawn. Are you moving in on Sadik yet?”
“No...Sarah you know we need you to do that.”
“I can’t right now. Harm and Mattie need me.”
We need you. We ended up sending Webb to a safe house...you’re our only hope of nailing Sadik.”
“I’ll think about it,” Mac informed him.
Mac read until about 2200 and then made up her bed on the couch again. She fell into a light sleep right away. She was awakened near midnight when Harm started calling out in his sleep.
“Mac, don’t go! No! Don’t leave! Mac! Mac...Mac...” Harm’s voice started loud and then became quieter but with a desperate sound. Mac went to check on him and found him sitting up in bed, tears on his face. He looked at her with such desperation that she went to his side immediately.
“What’s wrong Harm? Talk to me.”
“When you walked away from me on the Guadalcanal I knew it was because you were upset with me and I could handle it, but when you walked away to go to Brumby and Clay I didn’t know what to do. If someone besides me is going to make you happy then I don’t want to stand in your way...but then you tell me I’m suppose to fight for you. How can I fight for you when I’m not sure that’s what you want?”
Mac knew that Harm was feeling vulnerable without his hearing and that plus the nightmares or dreams he was having prompted his speech, yet the simple fact he was opening up to her for whatever reason gave her a feeling of hope. Last night he had said he couldn’t lose her and tonight he was begging her not to leave. Words didn’t seem enough now that he was unable to hear, so Mac just slid into bed next to him and as he lay back down she smoothed his face with her hands.
“I’m here. As long as you need me, I’m here.” Harm lay on his side and wrapped an arm around her. He wasn’t sure what she had said, but knew she would stay by him. He decided to take a chance and hold onto her again. She rolled on to her side with her back to him but remained close. Spoon fashion, they both fell asleep.
Chapter 5
0512 Local
North of Union Station
Harm’s Apartment
Mac awoke first and slid out of bed. She dressed in her jogging clothes and then woke Harm. He groaned, but got up and dressed in his running clothes as well without a fight. They had often run the eight mile loop together through city streets and parks. They ran together, side by side, at a pace they were both familiar with from the old days when running together was an almost daily occurrence. Through the park they sprinted across the field and then took the hilly loop. They made four laps around the track at the school athletic field before heading back to Harm’s at a slightly slower jog to cool down. The last mile they walked so they could enjoy the fresh bagel and coffee they picked up at the bakery on the way back.
Once in the apartment, Harm motioned for Mac to go ahead and use the shower. She was pleased that his attitude and affect seemed almost normal this morning, other then they didn’t talk much, just sometimes looked at each other and smiled. They communicated with gestures mostly.
Dressed in Harm’s robe again, she stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to dress, so that Harm could use the bathroom to shower and shave. By the time he was ready to dress, Mac was in the living room picking up her bed on the couch. Mattie came in as she was folding the last blanket.
“Morning Mac. How’s he doing?”
“I think the exercise and routine is helping. We went running this morning and he seemed almost his normal self. You know, even when he could hear there were times he didn’t listen. At least now there’s a good reason he doesn’t hear me.”
“Mac!” Mattie laughed as she tried to scold Mac for speaking negatively of her guardian but couldn’t do it.
“Well it’s true...” Mac defended her statement with a smile.
Harm joined them giving Mattie a hug and saying, “Great game yesterday kiddo. Get your homework done?”
“Yes.”
“Have fun with your teammates over pizza?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Friday night, right?” asked Harm.
Mattie nodded.
“Shall we do dinner and a movie tonight as usual?”
Mattie glanced at Mac who smiled and nodded.
“Sure. Shall I tell Jen?”
“Why don’t you remind Jen. It’s her turn to get the movie isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Mattie rolled her eyes as she remember that Harm couldn’t hear her.
“Great. Mac, you’ll join us right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Mac nodded. She was pleased to see Harm responding normally.
Mattie left for school while Mac and Harm headed for JAG.
On the ride in, Harm again became quiet and non-responsive. Mac found herself prodding him and directing him every step of the way. By the time the day ended, she was exhausted and he looked worn-out. She saw Petty Officer Coates late in the day just before she began to secure for the weekend.
“Mattie remind you about dinner and a movie tonight?”
“Yes, Ma’am. I was thinking something with lots of action would probably be a good choice.”
“I’d say get two. He may not last through one movie, say nothing about two. Get an action one we can play first, and then something for us girls to enjoy.”
“Yes, Ma’am. Sounds like an excellent plan to me.”
Once again in the car, Harm shut his eyes and shut out the world around him. When they returned to his loft, Mac put her hand on his arm to get his attention and he had jumped and pulled away. Seeing the concern on her face he had muttered an apology.
“Sorry, Mac. You just startled me.”
She had smiled and nodded and followed him upstairs as the elevator was once again out of order. Harm dropped his things near the door and headed for his room. Mac didn’t give him a chance to collapse on his bed as she figured he wanted to. She grabbed the white board and wrote.
*Change. I’ll get stuff ready for you to fix dinner*
“Okay. Be right back.”
Harm did return in his worn jeans and long sleeved t-shirt with bare feet. He seemed to enjoy the cool floor, where Mac wanted her feet warm and kept socks on to protect them from the colder wood floors. There were times she missed were carpeted apartment.
While Harm fixed the dinner, Mac changed into a pair of grey leggings and a long darker gray sweater. She put on a pair of warm socks Chloe had sent her for Christmas that doubled as slippers with the tread areas adhered to the bottoms. She had just joined Harm in the kitchen when Jen and Mattie arrived.
“What did you get for movies Jen?” asked Harm.
She showed him the boxes and he smiled as he read, “Lethal Weapons IV” and frowned at seeing “Runaway Bride.” He didn’t comment however and Mac smiled her approval to Jen.
After devouring the Mexican ‘feast’ Harm had prepared they cleaned up and then settled into the living room together. Harm on one end of the couch, Mattie on the other and Mac in the middle. Jen took the chair to start with. Mac tried to watch Harm without his knowledge during the movie. He tried to follow the action but when the movie hit slow spots, she could see his focus fade. By the end of the movie he was asleep. Jen changed the tapes and then flopped into one of the bean bag chairs they had dragged over from their apartment. Mattie joined her. Mac curled her legs under her, but stayed where she was next to Harm on the couch.
After the second movie, Jen and Mattie said goodnight to Mac and left. Mac watched Harm sleep a while longer before she tried to wake him. She reached out to touch him and somehow, her hand developed a mind of its own when she found her fingers caressing his face. His eyes popped opened and sought hers. Slowly she pulled her hand back and said, “Time to go to bed.”
Harm nodded and stood up. He reached a hand out to Mac. She took it and stood next to him as he pulled lightly.
“Come on...maybe I won’t have a nightmare if you are there from the start.”
Mac swallowed and followed Harm to the bedroom. If things were different, maybe they would be going to bed to make love. But Mac had said never and Harm had listened back then and honored her wish. They had found their friendship again, but Mac feared that anything more would only be her dream and her regret. Mac used the bathroom first and then changed in the bedroom while Harm used the bathroom. She slid into bed as Harm came out dressed in his boxers and climbed into bed beside her. Without speaking they resumed the positions they had used the two previous nights when Mac had joined Harm. Spooned together they slept.
0240 Local
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
The pressure in his head made it feel like it would explode. He tried twisting and turning to get away from it. He put his hands to his ears and tried to relieve the pressure but nothing was working. He could feel the roar coming from his toes and escaping from his throat.
Mac heard the deep groan come from Harm and she sat up alarmed. She had never even heard a wounded animal make a sound like that. Next to her, Harm thrashed on the bed, holding his head and rocking side to side.
Getting out of bed Mac went to his side and tried to get him to focus on her and explain what was wrong. Within seconds she knew that she needed help and had called 911 for an ambulance and paramedics. They arrived within three minutes. Jen and Mattie heard the commotion and joined Mac trying to comfort Harm.
The paramedics tried checking his vitals, but Harm didn’t cooperate with them. They transferred him to the stretcher and strapped him in as much as they could before transporting him to Bethesda at Mac’s insistence.
Jen, Mattie and Mac rushed to get dressed and climbed into Harm’s SUV to get to the hospital. By the time they arrived the doctor had seen Harm and was able to come out and give them a preliminary report.
“The good news is, his hearing is returning. I’ve given him a sedative and something for the pain. He’s been in total silence just long enough that just the sound of his own breathing seems loud to him. On top of that the inner ear has not healed and he may be feeling some nausea.”
“Can we see him?” asked Mac.
“Not tonight. Go home and get some sleep. Come by tomorrow around ten and if he’s stable, you can take him home.”
Reluctantly Mac, Mattie and Jen returned to the building north of Union Station. Mac said goodnight to the girls, got her things and returned to her apartment in the middle of the night. When she opened her apartment door, she discovered that her apartment had been ransacked. Grabbing her weapon she searched the premises to see if anyone was still around. Once she knew it was secure, she grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch to try to catch at least a nap before morning.
As daylight appeared outside her window, the telephone in her apartment rang. She picked it up concerned that it was the hospital calling about Harm. She heard breathing in response to her hello but nothing else at first.
“I know you’re there. Who is this and what do you want?”
“Now, Sarah, I am hurt that you don’t recognize the voice of an old friend,” the heavily accented voice spoke.
A memory filled Mac at once and in denial she stated, “I have no idea who this is. How do I know you?”
“Ah, Sarah...I know I have been on your mind for months now...I have called before. You deny that the name Sadik has been in your thoughts day and night since you left the Chaco Boreal?”
“What do you want from me, Sadik?”
“I want you to acknowledge that you are as interested in me as I am in you, Sarah. We share a heritage and we could share a life. Meet me Sarah.”
“When and where, Sadik?”
“Tonight I will find you and bring you to my world...just listen and follow the music, Sarah.”
Mac could hear traditional Middle East music playing in the background and knew where she would need to go tonight.
CHAPTER 6
0635 Local
Mac’s apartment
Georgetown
Setting down the phone she began to map out her day. First she would call Kershaw and let him know what she now knew for sure. Then she would get ready and pick up Mattie to go get Harm. Once she knew Harm was home and safe she would prepare for tonight. There would be no more worries about Sadik after tonight - one way or another. Either he would die as a result of her actions, or she would at his hands. That fact would be dealt with later.
After talking to Kershaw and agreeing to call him later, she picked up Mattie and went to the hospital. Together they walked into his room. The doctor turned as they entered and smiled.
“Right on time. The patient is getting impatient about going home...and he is regaining his hearing.”
Mattie and Mac smiled as they descended on Harm.
“Good news, Harm. Can you really hear me?” asked Mattie.
“Yeah, most of what you say.”
“There are some frequencies that are still impaired, but we’ll give him another week and then we’ll test his hearing and see what we’ve got.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“Papers are all signed so you can leave when you are ready.” With a wave the doctor was gone.
“Why don’t you two wait outside and I’ll get dressed so we can leave,” Harm suggested.
“And miss you walking around in that hospital gown?” teased Mac.
“Eeewww....I’m out of here,” declared Mattie as she escaped from the room. Mac laughed and turned back to Harm.
“Seriously Sailor, you got your sea legs enough to get up and get dressed without injury?”
“What’s that about a jury?” Harm asked.
“I said, can you get dressed okay?”
“Yes, been doing that for years on my own...although there have been times I’ve accepted help undressing...” Harm grinned.
Mac rolled her eyes and stepped out of the room to wait with Mattie. She heard Harm’s laugh follow her muttering, “That man can be so infuriating!”
“What’s the matter, Mac?” asked Mattie innocently.
“Harm...what else. He really is back to his old self.”