Title: Time for Us

Author: Hollyjp

Summary: Harm and Mac work things out and have a hell of a year.

Spoilers: All previous shows and spoilers for season 9 might be included.

Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.

Author’s Note: I started writing this before the Christmas episode and decided to keep going with it. It’s my second story that focused on Mattie coming to live with Harm and Mac’s involvement. I went beyond Christmas with this one...a year beyond! Parts of the story I feel are solid and others I struggled with. Hang in there if you can as I tried several things - some successfully and some not.

Time For Us

Part 1

December 1, 2003

JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

Petty Officer Jennifer Coates entered the bullpen at a pace between a dead run and a brisk walk. Her jaw was clenched; her hands balled into fists; and her cheeks fire engine red as she blew the hair out of her face and took her place at her desk outside Admiral Chegwidden’s office. Lt. Sims, Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb watched the entrance made by the usually affable, easy going petty officer that the JAG family had adopted as one of their own two years previously.

“What do you suppose has PO Coates in such an uproar?” asked Harriet of Mac and Harm who had been discussing a case when she had entered the bullpen this morning.

“I have no idea, but it’s a good thing the admiral isn’t in, yet. Maybe she’ll get herself pulled together so the two of them don’t create another maelstrom.” Mac commented.

“Isn’t she working out as Tiner’s replacement?” Harm asked.

Mac rolled her eyes, “Harm, she’s doing a great job overall.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Harm innocently asked.

“Well, ‘Flyboy’ if you hadn’t been off playing spook you would have seen how bad things were around here this summer...Jen could never make the Admiral happy; she always seemed to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and the Admiral would hear her; I’m not sure how she kept her cool with the admiral in her face over everything.”

“I would have gladly been here this summer, Mac, but I wasn’t wanted, remember? As for Jen, she’s a street tough kid on the outside but can be a marshmallow on the inside...maybe I’ll check on her.” Harm started to walk away to check on the young Petty Officer.

Mac looked at Harriet and shrugged, “He can’t let anything alone can he?”

“Excuse me Ma’am?” Harriet asked a little confused.

“He’s got to rescue or fix everything or everyone...accept the things he really should focus on.”

“Colonel, I wouldn’t be too hard on the Commander. He’s been through a lot this year, as have you, Ma’am, and I think he just feels good to be wanted, needed and appreciated.”

“I suppose you’re right Harriet. It’s just sometimes he seems to good to be true and yet at other times, he doesn’t have a clue!” Mac shook her head as she moved off to her office.

Harm approached Petty Officer Coates and gave her a warm smile as he greeted her, “Good morning Jen.”

“Good morning, sir. May I help you?”

“Just wanted to say good morning...you alright, Jen?”

“Yes, sir. Why do you ask?”

“You just seemed kind of upset this morning when you came in.”

“Oh, that...I was running late because my roommates messed up my uniforms which I had to press again this morning and I didn’t want to give the admiral any more excuses to get mad at me.”

“Let me tell you from experience, Jen, sometimes there is no way to avoid it, but just be honest and he’ll get over it. He’s a forgiving person actually - he just doesn’t want people to know it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“So having roommate problems?”

“Yes sir...in order to live in a decent part of town, the only affordable place I could find was a shared apartment set-up. There are six of us sharing three bedrooms, one bathroom, one twelve by twelve living room and a kitchen-dining room area. We each have a roommate that works a different shift so that we can each have as few people as possible in the apartment at any one time. It just gets frustrating because they are not in the navy and don’t wear uniforms and don’t understand that I have to be neat and squared away.”

“Have you looked for something else - maybe with fewer people?”

“Yes, but nothing has come along yet.”

“I’ll keep my eyes and ears open Jen. If I hear of something I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you Commander.”

As Harm walked away, back to his office, he was thinking of the possibilities. He wanted to help Jen, but she might be able to help Mattie and him as well. He thought he remembered seeing an apartment for rent sign near his place, and he wanted to check it out. He didn’t live in the best neighborhood, but he wasn’t that far away, and they were trying to improve the area. He might just be able to come up with a solution. Deep in thought he didn’t see Mac seated in his office waiting for him.

“Geez! Mac! You startled me...”

“Sorry...what were you contemplating so deeply that you forgot we were to go over this case this morning.”

“Oh...Jen’s had a rough morning. She shares an apartment with five other girls and one of them messed up her uniform and she had to pressed it again this morning and it made her late. She didn’t want the Admiral getting upset with her.”

“Harm, you’re not going to move her in with you or something are you?”

Harm gave her a raised eyebrow look that said, ‘are you nuts?’ before he answered her, “No Colonel, I’m not stupid, despite some people’s misconception.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid Harm, just clueless sometimes.”

“There’s a difference?”

“Most definitely...when you’re stupid you don’t know any better...but when you are clueless, you just aren’t paying attention to that which you could understand if you tried.”

“Oh, well that clears everything up...in your mind at least.” Harm shook his head with a sad smile. “Let’s get to work on this case, Colonel.”

That Evening

Harm’s Apartment

North of Union Station

Mac and Harm were pouring over their files after dinner when Harm’s phone rang. Rolling his eyes he picked it up identifying himself, “Rabb.”

“Harm?”

“Mattie? You okay?”

“I am now...I didn’t hear from you today and I was afraid you were having second thoughts.”

“No way, Mattie...I tried to reach you a couple of times and the line was busy. I was going to try again in a little while.” Harm soothed the teenager.

Mac, hearing his tone of voice and a female name was putting two and two together and coming up with trouble, asked, “Shall I go?”

Harm smiled and shook his head no as Mattie asked, “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, Mattie, Mac and I were working on a case.”

“She doesn’t know about me does she?”

“Not yet...soon though.” Harm’s voice was soft and soothing. Mac’s mind was reeling thinking about what the other side of the conversation might be...wanting to know but afraid to find out.

“Are you using me to torment Mac? She’s the one, huh?”

“What ever do you mean?”

“Don’t play innocent with me, Harm...I may be young but I bet I know what you’re doing.”

“And what would that be?”

“Saying just enough to make her jealous,”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you love her?”

“I suppose so...but I don’t think it matters.”

“Let me be the judge...I dare you to let me talk to her, Harm...”

Harm was in a bit of a quandary. He knew if he answered Mattie the way he needed to and wanted to, the game would be up with Mac. If she knew he had been playing with her, she’d probably deck him. He looked at Mac and sighed. He didn’t want to compete with her about emotional issues anymore...he wanted to be on the level and this was a good place to start.

“Look Mattie, you can dare me all you want, but I’m not giving in to you right now. This is something I need to deal with and if things work out you two will probably meet and then start ganging up on me anyway. Now, I have an idea I want you to think about. There is a female Petty Officer at JAG that is living in a crowded apartment with five other girls. She wants out and we need to find a supervised placed for you to live. What would you think of moving to the city and sharing an apartment not far from me? You don’t have to give me an answer now...but think it over. Okay?”

“Okay...Mac still glaring daggers at you?”

“I don’t know...I haven’t dared to look yet,” Harm laughed.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Night Harm.”

“Night Mattie.”

Harm disconnected the phone and turned to see Mac staring at him - not even hiding the fact she had listened it.

“You going to spill it, ‘Flyboy’?” Mac sweetly asked.

“You know Mac, you may need to come up with a new nickname for me, seeing as I doubt I’ll be doing much flying.”

“Harm...tell me about Mattie, please?”

“Mattie Grace ran Grace aviation where I kept my Stearman. Her mother was killed in a car accident almost a year ago. Her father took off. She’s been on her own and just lost the business, and might lose her house, too. I have applied to be her guardian and I am trying to find her a place to live because I can’t have her live with me. Jen is looking to move out of her place but can’t afford anything decent so I thought maybe Mattie and Jen could share a place.”

“...and you’d pay the rent - or most of it - so Mattie can have a place to live and Jen could be rescued.”

“Something like that.” Harm grinned and waited for Mac to tear his plan apart. His grin faded as she sat deep in thought much longer then he had anticipated.

Eight minutes and thirty-one seconds later, Mac refocused on her former partner and put her hand on his arm squeezing it lightly, “That’s a great idea...Jen has really made some major changes in her life and it would do her good to be in the big sister role. I’m proud of you for coming up with the idea, Sailor - I can still call you that can’t I?”

“Yes,” Harm’s voiced was tinged with exasperation when he answered her. “So you really like my idea?”

“Yes...you really have undergone some kind of metamorphosis I think.”

“For the better I would assume?” Harm asked. He felt like a kid getting lavish praise for doing well on an easy task - it felt good but was a little embarrassing.

“Harm?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me more about Mattie. Please?”

Harm settled on the couch beside Mac and told her what he knew of Mattie’s life; he shared how Mattie had watched him fly by following him in a pick-up and how it made him feel so good to know he could help her; he told her about taking the money she had paid him and putting into an bank account for her when he had gotten his job back at JAG; they laughed together when he recounted Mattie’s first meeting with the admiral and how she had called him a ‘mean old man’; and finally how he had promised her that she would never have to be alone - he would apply to be her guardian, call her every day and come visit at least once a week - unless he was out of the country on assignment and then he’s still try to call.

Mac listened to him as he spoke in that gentle tone she loved. When he used that voice she knew he was sincere, honest, caring and open. She had to admit that she loved Harm - with all of his frustrating habits and hard-headed stubbornness he was a good person.

“You know Harm, I think this will be good thing all around. Have you talked to Jen yet?”

“Not yet...you really think this is a good plan?”

“Yes, I do. As a matter of fact, I’d like to help you pitch it to Jen,” Mac offered.

“Sure...shall we call her now?”

“Could we call her and ask her to come over?”

Harm grabbed the phone and dialed Jen’s number...”Jennifer Coates please...Hay, Jen.”

“Commander Rabb?”

“Yes...Colonel Mackenzie is here with me and we wanted to talk to you about something. Could you come over to my place in say half an hour?”

“Yeah, I guess so...”

“Casual - this is unofficial - actually personal business.”

“Now you’ve really got my attention. I’ll see you soon.”

Harm hung up and he and Mac resumed work on the files until they heard the knock on the door.

Mac answered it and welcomed Jen in while Harm fixed them all coffee. Once they were all settled, Harm started to explain.

“Jen, you know the girl that had called me several times, ‘Ms Grace’?”

“Yes...the one I said sounded awfully young?”

“Yes.” Harm blushed as he caught Mac raising her eyebrow at him.

“Anyway, she is young...she’s fifteen going on twenty-five and I’m applying to be her legal guardian. Her name is Mattie and her mother was killed and her father took off and left her alone. She quit school, ran the family business and took care of herself until she ended up losing the place due to her father’s mortgaging the business and she didn’t know about it. Anyway, I want to bring her in to the city to be closer to me and get her back into school. For obvious reasons she can’t live with me...and Mac doesn’t have room. Even if she did, we both get called out of the area for investigations and to see clients fairly often. Anyway, I don’t want her to live alone...she’s too young. But she’s so use to be independent it wouldn’t work for her to move in with a foster family. So I thought maybe...”

“...we thought that you might like a chance to get out of your roommate situation and enjoy sharing an apartment with Mattie.” Mac finished for Harm.

“Wow...it might be nice to have a ‘little sister’, huh?” Jen smiled. She was pleased that two of her favorite people seemed to be close and would think of her to help them out. She also liked the idea of giving back to them after all they had done for her. “Do you have any idea of where there would be a suitable place?”

“Actually I think there is a place in the building across the street and another one about two blocks down,” Harm explained.

“I can’t afford much for rent, “ Jen hedged.

“What are you paying now?” Mac asked her.

Jen told them and Harm smiled. He had an idea of what they were asking for apartments in the area and he knew the rent in this area was low right now while they were trying to rebuild the area.

“I’ll tell you what Jen, you won’t have to pay anymore then you are paying now, and you might even get to pay less. I’ll take care of the rest for Mattie. I will expect you to be a good role model for her and let me know if she starts bending the rules. Can you do that?”

“Yes, sir.”

Mac smiled, “Of course you’ll probably have to put up with him checking in all the time and even dropping by.”

“I’ll call before I come over...or I’ll have Mac with me...deal?”

“Yes sir. When can I meet Mattie and when do we look at the apartments?”

Harm suggested that they set something up for the weekend. Mac was included in the plans. The three of them would go get Mattie on Friday evening. Jen and Mattie would ‘camp’ at Mac’s Friday night. Saturday they would go look at apartments and spend the day getting to know one another.

Mac experienced a sense of euphoria at the thought of spending time with Harm and his ward as well as Jen. It felt like old times when they had done things together with their godson and Chloe.

December 5, 2003

Friday Harm, Mac and Jen were lucky enough to be able to secure a little after 1500 and decided to get an early start. Jen drove to Mac’s apartment to meet with Harm and they hoped into the SUV and headed out to get Mattie.

Mattie was waiting for them when they arrived with two suitcases packed. She ran to meet them when they got out of the SUV. Harm was surprised by the hug she gave him and he lightly held her for a few seconds before making introductions.

“Nice to meet all of you. Harm can we go?” Mattie asked impatiently.

“What’s up Mattie? Why are you in such a rush?”

“It’s hard to say good-bye to this place and I just want to get it over and be on my way,” Mattie explained.

Harm studied her for a minute and then said, “No...there’s something more. What aren’t you telling me?”

Mac tied to hide her smile as she watched her favorite sailor interact with the precocious teenager. He read Mattie almost as well as Mac could read him. Jen laughed and said, “Mattie you might as well give it up. Commander Rabb is good at seeing through smoke screens.”

“My dad called and he said he’s coming home. I don’t want to be here with him.”

“Mattie...this may change everything,” Harm cautioned.

“No! I want to be with you not him. He’s a drunk and I can’t trust him and he killed my mother!” Mattie burst in to tears and Harm and Mac moved at the same time to hold Mattie and console her.

“Harm, let’s have Mattie leave a note for her father and go ahead and take her back to the city with us like we planned. If he shows up he’ll know where to find her and if he doesn’t she’ll be safe with us.”

Mattie looked at the lady Marine and realized that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all. For whatever reason, she got what Mattie was going through. Mattie vowed to herself to see exactly where the lady Colonel fit into Harm’s life.

They had stopped for dinner and it was almost midnight when they got back to Mac’s apartment. Harm dropped them off and said he’s call in the morning and let them know when he would be by.

Mac had been concerned that the ‘camp-out’ in her apartment would be awkward because they didn’t know Mattie and Mac was Jen superior officer. But to everyone’‘s pleasant surprise, they were relaxed and ease together almost right away. They each shared a story about their life which had helped Mattie understand why Jen and Mac could understand her.

Mattie had talked about how sometimes she would see Harm wipe his face as if he was crying and he sometimes seemed sad, but he tried to hide that from her. “He would always take a deep breath and turn to me with a smile on his face. Sometimes I felt like I made him happy in some little way. I wish I knew who made him so sad because even after he went back to JAG he never seemed completely happy.”

Jen had watched Mac closely and Mac had looked away from both of them. May be Harm was more upset about her “never” statement then she had thought. Part of her had decided he must not really care if he didn’t’ argue with her or try to fight with her about it.

“Hey,” stated Mac, trying to be enthusiastic and upbeat, “I have an idea...why don’t we make a list of things we consider a must for the apartment?” Jen and Mattie enthusiastically started dreaming about their ideal apartment. They knew of course that they would never find anything like their dream place - with fireplaces, hot-tubs, swimming pools, garages, and built in microwaves, wall ovens, dishwashers, pantries, closets, an entry way, a washer and dryer or maybe even a laundry service! Mattie and Jen got so involved in their dreaming that they didn’t notice when Mac withdrew from them to her bedroom to think about Mattie’s innocent disclosure.

If Mattie was right, Harm had been moved to tears as a result of her declaration on the curb in Paraguay. She had honestly thought she was giving him a way out of a relationship that he seemed to think he had an obligation too. She didn’t want him on those terms. As much as she had wanted a deep committed relationship with Harm, and still did, she did not want him if he was just keeping a promise that he made to a friend years ago.

Mattie’s words were making her think that maybe Harm was bothered by the ‘never’ word more then she had thought. In fact, one thing that she was starting to realize is that Harm, would not ‘fight’ for her. He would take her at her word and if he thought she was in a relationship with someone else, he would not pursue her. If she wanted another chance with Harm she would have to show him that she was interested in him. In his mind she had erected the barrier so it would be up to her to let him know when that barrier was no longer there.

Harm had asked Mac to join him for dinner one night last week and she had declined, so it had been crucial when he had asked her to come over to work on a case that she accept. She knew that if she turned him down again, he would have stopped asking, and she wanted to be able to re-establish their connection if it was possible.

Jen knocked on Mac’s door and interrupted Mac’s musings. “Mattie and I are ready to crash. Just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I’m fine Jen...Mattie just said some things that made me realize that Harm and I have a lot of repairs to make to our - friendship.”

“Can I help, Ma’am?”

“No, Jen, but thank you for offering. I’m afraid its going to take me awhile to erase the careless words I used when we were leaving Paraguay. I meant one thing, he heard another...its happened before and I’m sure it will happen again, but I keep hoping each time we learn from our mistakes and can move on.”

Part 2

December 6, 2003

The next morning Harm was whistling when he arrived to pick them up to go look at apartments. Mattie greeted Harm with a huge smile. Mac and Jen both noticed the change in their favorite Commander as this young girl seemed to work her magic on him. He looked more relaxed and alive then they had seen him in over a year. Mac thought back to the last time she had seem him smile like he enjoyed life. It had been when Sturgis was arriving on the Sea Hawk; Mac and Harm were looking forward to meeting him with their special brand of humor for “Alec Baldwin”; it had been only moments before they had gotten word of Bud’s accident. That event had started the change that the following months seemed to build on as they sapped the love of life out of Harmon Rabb Junior. But Mattie and her needs seemed to give some of that back to Harm.

“Ready?”

“Of course...we’ve been waiting almost twenty-minutes,” Mac informed him.

“Well, I have a really good reason for being late and our mission today may have changed,” he informed him.

“Harm don’t you dare tell us that you’ve changed your mind...or the plans without consulting first.”

“Hold on! I have a surprise and if you like it we may want to change our plans for the day. Is that better?”

“So nothing is decided, yet?” Mac asked as Mattie and Jen tried to hide their grins as the two stubborn officers defended their words and actions with one another.

Harm grinned and shook his head. “Let’s go so you can see what I found this morning.”

Harm pulled up in front of his building and started to get out of the SUV, when Mac reached out a hand and grabbed his arm at the elbow. Harm stopped and turned back to look at her.

“What are you up to?”

Mattie spoke up, “Well Harm did say there was a place in the building across the road.”

“Oh yeah,” Jen and Mac remembered and then climbed out of the car. Mac watched Harm and knew there was another reason but decided to play along and see what he was up to.

Harm went around to the far side of his building and opened another door with a key he took out of his jacket pocket. They climbed up the stairs and at the top was a landing much like the one in front of his place. He rapped on the door and then opened it up, stepping back for the others to enter ahead of him. They walked into a large room, one end of which was a kitchen. On the other side of the room was a wall with an arched door way leading to a hall.

The hallway revealed three doors in the wall. The first one revealed a bedroom with a large closet and a built in desk area. Mattie’s eyes lit up when she saw it. The next door was a bathroom with two sinks and a full tub and shower, a linen closet and a washer and dryer. Mattie and Jen looked at each other and smiled. The third door revealed another bedroom with a large closet and built in drawers, but no desk.

They moved back into the kitchen area and were thrilled to find a built in dishwasher and a door that went out onto a balcony and fire escape. There was also another door in the far wall. Jen walked over to it and tried it. It didn’t open.

“A fake door, sir?”

“Actually one that’s locked on the other side.”

“In your apartment?” Mac asked.

“The hall way...”

“Can it be unlocked?” Mac asked.

Harm nodded his head.

“So they could use the elevator and then come into their place that way?”

Again Harm nodded.

“You can’t get much safer then sharing an entry way,” Mac encouraged.

“What’s the rent they are asking, sir?” asked Jen afraid to get her hopes up as she looked at the laminated flooring that looked like hardwood.

“Actually, it’s for sale.”

Jen’s heart plummeted as she knew she could not afford to buy the loft. “I guess that let’s me out, sir.”

“I’m going to buy it and I’ll rent it to you. It’s a great investment. Besides, some day I may want to renovate it into one big place instead of two smaller ones.” Harm glanced at Mac to see her reaction. Other then complaining of the cold, Mac had always liked his place. The expression on her face now seemed to support his idea.

“I talked to the guy this morning when he stopped to check things over. That’s why I was late. I knew it was empty but I didn’t realize he was selling or renting until I saw him. He said we can rent it until the sale goes through and he’ll put the rent toward the down payment. He’s been shipped overseas and when he returns, he’s moving into a house in the country that he and his wife are having built for them by her parents.”

Jen and Mattie exchanged looks and smiles with each other and Mac. Turning to Harm, Jen said, “Commander, I think this is perfect.”

“So do you want to look at the other places or start moving things in?” Harm asked.

“Moving in!” Mattie and Jen chorused together. Then Jen laughed, “Unless you have furniture Mattie, it’s going to be a fairly empty apartment. About all I have is my clothes and a few pictures.”

“I have a few things in the house I can take, but it will still be pretty empty,” Mattie added.

“I would suggest that we make a list of the basics that you need and then we’ll see what we can find. I have a couple of things in storage you can take...”

“So do I,” chimed in Mac.

While they worked on the list, Harm went around to his place and called the other places to cancel. He also grabbed, two folding chairs and a folding table that he used mainly for camping. He went back through the locked door, after unlocking it from his side. Mac, Jen and Mattie looked up startled at the commotion he made from their position at the kitchen counter. Mac rushed to help him with his burden.

“I thought the folding table and chairs would be helpful. I have two more folding chairs in storage downstairs I’ll go get now. Want to come down with me and see what else I’ve got stashed that you could use?”

The four of them had fun looking through Harm’s discarded items. Between them they reclaimed a bean bag chair, a foam rubber folding love seat that was suppose to be like an extra futon, two TV trays that would work for bed side tables and a barrel and a glass table top that would make a table for a lamp in the living room in addition to the two other folding chairs. Once they had those items upstairs, Mac suggested they take the list and head to her place. They folded down the back seat in Harm’s SUV to make more room and Jen drove her car. Mattie jumped in with her, leaving Mac to ride with Harm as they returned to the new place with Mac’s cast offs which included a book shelf, a small bureau, two lamps with shades, a desk chair and a vanity table and stool that Jen thought could also double as a desk in her room.

With the latest load of items in place, Jen called Bud and Harriet to ask them if they had any cast offs they would be willing to share.

After renting a small truck to use for the day, Harm and Mattie rode in that while Mac drove the SUV with Jen. At the Robert’s home they were given a love seat and chair that had recently been replaced. The original upholstery was worn, but with covers in place, they would look good. They were also given another small bureau, a footstool, a metal frame with a futon and a small maple dining room table with two leaves to expand it.

Next Mac and Jen swung by Jen’s old apartment so she could get the rest of her things and give notice to her roommates. They knew another girl that wanted in, so Jen’s moving out would not hurt them. The two girls that were there all pitched in and helped Jen get her things together.

Meanwhile, Harm and Mattie stopped in at a used furniture store and picked out two bedframes with headboards, new mattresses and box springs, and a coffee table. They also found a little island cabinet and two stools that Harm thought the girls would like to have.

When they arrived North of Union Station, Mac and Jen were just getting out of the SUV. Jen had used her JAG issued cell phone to call Sturgis to see if he would be able to help with some of the lifting, and he arrived at about the same time with a box of items that he thought they might be able to use...an alarm clock, a wall clock, a half dozen dish towels, three sizes of casserole dishes, salt and pepper shakers, two pot holders, a flower vase. He also had a television with a built in VCR and a small entertainment center.

Two hours later the furniture was unloaded and set in place. They had grabbed a bite to eat and were making a list of all the things that they needed to function. The new list included bed linens, blankets, towels, curtains, household cleaners, groceries, cookware , silverware, and dishes.

“I suppose this means we need to go shopping, huh?” Harm asked.

“Unless you’ve got a better idea,’ quipped Mac.

“Can I suggest we split up to tackle this?” When heads nodded or shoulders shrugged, Harm continued. “Mattie, what if you and I take the truck back and go get some basic groceries to get you two started while Mac and Jen take my card and go get the household stuff.”

“Sir, you don’t need to buy everything. I’ve got some extra cash and I can get most of the stuff,” Jen stated.

“Okay...Mac, why don’t you take the card anyway, just in case.” Harm handed her the card and nodded toward Mattie. “Every one okay with this plan?” Every one nodded and turned to get started. “Sturgis, do you want to join Mattie and me at the grocery store?”

“Thanks anyway, Harm. I think I’ll pass. Catch you later.” Sturgis waved and saw himself out as they all thanked him for his contributions and help.

Mattie and Harm were back first. They unloaded their bags and got the food put away and then went next door to Harm’s so that he could fix dinner. Mattie cooked hamburger to add to one end of the lasagna while Harm chopped vegetables for the other half. Mac had acquired a taste for both, so he had one section that would be mixed in the middle. The lasagna was baking and the salad ready and waiting in the refrigerator. The garlic bread was ready to go in to the oven as well. They heard Mac and Jen arriving in the elevator. Mattie ran to meet hem and help them while Harm finished the meal preparations. He told Mattie he’d be over to join them soon.

Together Mac, Jen and Mattie washed the new linens and pressed and hung the new drapes. While the ironing board was up and iron hot, Jen made sure her uniforms were pressed and hung in her closet. The dishes were loaded into the dishwasher along with pots and pans, silverware and glasses.

Clocks were installed, the couch and chair covers put on and finally as the first load of linens were coming out of the dryer, Harm arrived to help.

“Where you been Fly...Sailor?” Mac corrected herself, grinning. “Think you were leaving all this to the women?”

“No...just making you a surprise for dessert tonight...of course if you don’t want it...”

“No, I like food surprises - unless they are meatless meatloaf or tofu,” joked Mac, bumping up against Harm.

Jen and Mattie watched the interactions between the two and exchanged smiles. That evening, they were gathered around Harm’s table enjoying dinner and his surprise dessert. Although he didn’t indulge in chocolate often, he knew today’s activities had burned enough calories that he could indulge and enjoy the chocolate fudge brownies he had made, not to mention the fudge sauce made from scratch that would be poured over the ice cream he had bought.

The groans of ecstasy from all three females when he revealed the dessert was rewarding; however he made the mistake of watching Mac. She had closed her eyes, licked her lips and moaned as she anticipated the sweet dessert about to tempt her pallette. It was almost Harm’s undoing. He had felt his body’s quick reaction and moved back into the kitchen area to try to take a deep breath and get control of his body before he rejoined them at the table. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had to talk to Mac about this thing between them that they kept denying. He knew she still was seeing Webb, but he something told him there was still a chance with her if he did things right. After all, Mac had spent the better part of the weekend with him or with his concerns. That had to speak for something.

After they finished their dessert and helped clear the table and put away leftovers, Jen and Mattie thanked Mac and Harm for everything and excused themselves claiming exhaustion. Harm and Mac didn’t question it and both of them received hugs from Mattie as she wished them both good-night. She also whispered into Harm’s ear, “You really should tell her how you feel about her.” She added a kiss to his cheek and with one last look at them, she joined Jen in their apartment.

“Did you see Harm when Mac licked her lips over the dessert?” Mattie giggled to Jen.

“They are so in love with each other! You know, they’ve been like this as long as I’ve known them - about two years.” Jen added thinking back to the Christmas she met them two years ago. “Mac, ‘little sister’ Chloe was staying with her. I was in trouble and released to Commander Rabb’s custody. He had me stay with Mac at night. Chloe filled me in on even more stuff. She swears they’ve been in love at least six years, maybe longer.”

“Wow...Harm’s not real good at the ‘touchy -feely’ stuff. Yet at times when he’s not thinking about what he’s doing he shows that he is a physical kind of guy. I mean he often reaches out to make contact sometimes with a tap or just a touch.”

Jen smiled. She knew what Mattie was getting at, she had seen first hand how he often would ‘clap’ someone on the back or shake hands and hold a little longer then necessary. But it was his eyes that she saw as being so expressive that told the world how he felt about the Colonel.

“Watch his eyes when the Colonel - Mac - is around.”

“I know...I wonder if having me around will hurt or help them work things out.” Mattie pondered quietly, almost to herself.

“I think it will help. Mac will want to keep tabs on you herself, because she’s as apt to rescue people as he is. And I’d be lost without either of them.”

“I hope so...” Mattie yawned. “Guess I’d better turn in. Thanks for agreeing to this Jen...I mean, Harm shouldn’t have to disrupt his life because mine is so screwed up and this way, it helps both of us and he doesn’t have to move.”

“You’re right...it helps both of us and the Commander. See you in the morning.”

Next door, at the same time, Harm held out his hand to Mac and lead her to the couch. “I know it’s getting late and you’ve worked hard today, but I’d like to talk for awhile, if you don’t mind, that is.”

“Thanks for including me in this Harm...I had a blast today...and that dessert was just brilliant.”

“Yeah...I could see you were enjoying just the thought of it.” Harm muttered.

Mac looked at him, “You didn’t seem to like my reaction, Harm...did it bother you?” Mac couldn’t help the grin that showed through.

Harm watched her and then realized she was teasing him, “You...” he shook his finger at her, “are toying with me aren’t you, Marine?”

“May be a little...”

“Mac...”

“What? Too hot in the kitchen for you?”

Harm squirmed a little at the seductive comments Mac was making. He wanted to give in to the invitation she seemed to be offering, but kept hearing her say, “There will never be an us because we both want to be on top,” as they stood on the curb on Paraguay. He started to move away, when her hand reached out and took his and stopped him.

“Harm look at me. What are you thinking? Just say it... give me something to work with here.”

“Mac I really don’t know what you want. If you are talking about a casual affair, I’m sorry I’m not interested. If you are talking about starting something that you think - hope - will lead to a life time commitment and children and the whole nine yards, then I am ready to risk it. I need to know where you are coming from because right now the only thing I’m sure of, is that our friendship is strong enough to bounce back again, but not if I completely cross that line with you.”

“Harm, I want the whole ‘nine yards’ with you...but I’m not sure that wanting it is enough. I asked you once before what you wanted most and you said to never lose me...but don’t you have to have something before you can lose it?”

Harm nodded at Mac’s words and whispered back, “I want you... but can I have you?”

In slow motion Mac reached for Harm and slid her arms around his neck. “We may have a lot to work out and talk over, but I think it’s time...” and her lips settled against his.

Part 3 for NC-17 section

Author’s Note: I’ve posted my work with similar scenes as R and told they were too racy and I’ve posted them as NC-17 and told they were too tame...so this either a racy R or a tame NC-17 and I’d rather be safe then sorry. Hope you enjoy.

NC-17 Part

Harm let Mac set the pace at first, and almost came unglued when the tip of her tongue sought entrance into his mouth. At that point he became a more active participant in the kissing. His hands seemed to have a will of their own. He could feel the silky skin of her back against his somewhat rough hands at about the same time he felt her hands sliding under the back of his shirt. Her touch seemed to inflame him. His kisses became more heated and passionate. Somehow they had changed positions and Harm was laying on his back with Mac stretched out against the length of him. He worked the shirt she was wearing up and finally pulled it off over her head. They separated long enough for Harm’s shirt to be removed as well. Mac reached around his torso, and lay her head on his chest, turning her face against him to rub her nose against the hair on his chest and to kiss his firm muscles. She caressed his sides before bringing her hands up to play with the chest hair and male nipples.

Harm could feel her satin bra clad breasts press against his stomach as she played with his chest and kissed him senseless. He heard a groan and thought it was his. His lower body was hard and uncomfortable in his tight jeans. Reluctantly he stopped Mac and sat up with her.

“Harm, what’s wrong?”

“Mac...its been awhile and I - uh - don’t think I can take much more and I want it to be good for you. I also think we should move this to my bedroom if we are going to go ahead with this.”

Mac nodded, her face slightly abraded from rubbing her cheeks against her hair roughened chest. Standing up she held out her hand to Harm and when he stood up she stepped into his embrace.

With her head nestled into his collarbone she spoke quietly. “Harm, I know I let you believe that Webb and I- um- were together, but we only went out to eat a few times.”

Harm placed kisses against her hair and held her tightly. He knew she was trying to tell him she hadn’t been with Webb or anyone since Brumby. “Mac, I want to make love to you.”

“I want that too.”

Together, kissing and caressing they moved to Harm’s bathroom where they stripped off the rest of their clothes and showered together. They toweled each other off and by the time they slid into bed together, both were as aroused as they ever had been in their life. Harm kissed his way down Mac’s body and placed kisses on the most intimate parts of her. His fingers joined his mouth and before long, she was writhing on the bed under him and with her head thrown back, she rode out the waves of her orgasm while whimpers and moans of ecstasy filled her throat and escaped to her ears.

Harm held her against him while she came down from the emotional and physical relief he had brought her. Harm rested beside her, letting one hand slowly caress himself, as he watched Mac recover. “You okay?” he asked quietly as he placed kisses along her face.

“I’m more then okay...Harm that was so intense....” Mac noticed Harm caressing himself and she smiled, “Here...my turn...let me do that.”

At first her hand covered his hand as he stroked slowly. Harm slid his hand away when he realized that she had picked up his rhythm. At the same time, Harm rolled onto his back and tried to lift his head to watch Mac make love to him. She watched her hand on him at first, and then she leaned over him to let her lips and tongue work their magic on him. Her mouth took on the long slow stokes, while her tongue wrapped around the blunt head finding the little ‘v’ on the underside where all the nerves were close to the surface. Her tongue darted to that spot and touched, licked and tasted over and over until she felt his member jump in her hand and mouth.

She slid one hand lower to cup his heavy scrotum and caressed it as she sucked him gently into her mouth inch by inch.

Harm’s eyes shut as he reached for her head... he knew that he would not last if she repeated that move on him. “Mac...I’m close...”

Mac didn’t stop and she looked up and watched him as she slowly drew his rock hard erection in to her mouth as deep as she could go before licking her way back to the tip as she released him only to repeat the process over and over again.

“Maaccc...now” Harm’s groan fell on deaf ears as Mac took great joy in bringing him over the edge with her hands and mouth the way he had her. Harm’s back arched as he thrust his hips up on her downward stoke and then called out as he came in her mouth. Mac had to swallow a few times, but the power over him that he had allowed her to have, told her how much control he was willing to turn over to her. As his spasms quieted, Mac, slid up to lay beside him and to kiss him. She had tasted herself on his lips, she hoped he was willing to taste himself on her lips now. She looked at his smiling face and leaned in to place her lips on his.

“Thank you. That was breath taking.”

“Mmmmm...I know what you mean. Harm?”

“Yeah...I was wrong before you know...about what I said in Paraguay.”

“And what specifically were you wrong about?” Harm asked as he kissed her back.

“That it is physically and emotionally impossible to both be on top...I forgot that we could take turns.”

“Are you okay with that...because if not I’ll try to give you the top more often if it would help?”

“No...I think we just need to play it by ear,” she whispered as she ran her tongue around his ear.

“Oh Mac...you’re causing things to happen again you know...”

“Yeah? That’s okay, isn’t it?” Mac smiled between kisses and licks.

“Oh yeah...just a bit surprising given the intensity before...and the fact I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Well let’s just enjoy being together and not worry about the time or whether we get there again tonight.” Mac then focused her attentions back on the man she loved as she tried to show him how much she loved him. He in turn tried to show her what he hadn’t been able to put into words. They made love slowly and Harm made sure that Mac knew with every stroke, that he loved her.

Afterwards, holding each other close and almost asleep, Harm murmured into her hair, “I need you so much.” They fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Part 3 without NC-17 section

December 7,2003

North of Union Station

Just before sunrise, Mac moved and felt Harm’s warmth next to her. She remembered his whispered words as they had fallen asleep. She leaned over and kissed him as she whispered, “I love you.” She let her hand trail over his face and down his chest. She slid the covers down so that she could enjoy looking at his firmly muscled body. Harm stirred slightly and Mac smiled as she took in everything from his beautiful face to his sexy navel. Slowly she moved the covers further down and was greeted by his arousal.

She grinned when she heard his sleepy hoarse voice, “Looking for something?”

“No...I found it...just wanted to be sure it wasn’t a figment of my imagination.”

“Mac, if you’re going to steal my covers, you better find another way to keep me warm.”

Mac began kissing him and letting her hands wander. Harm’s body told her that he was definitely feeling the heat she was generating just before he rolled them both over so he could take control for a few minutes. This time their love making was hot and fast but as satisfying. Mac slid out of bed and started looking for her clothes.

“I’d better get out of here and shower and change. Can I use your car?”

“I forgot we left your car at your place. I’ll drive you home.” Harm offered.

“No...stay here and rest...I’ll be back later and then you can take me home then.”

They kissed again and Harm was asleep by the time Mac let herself out of the apartment.

In the apartment next door, Mattie was up and heard a noise outside. She looked out and saw Mac climbing into Harm’s SUV. She smiled as she realized that Mac had stayed the night. She wondered if Harm would have to hide any tell tale signs. She vowed to check it out if she could without tipping him off that she knew.

In the days that followed the move, everyone settled into a new life and routine. Mattie spent time in both apartments. In the morning she ate breakfast with Harm before leaving for school. When she got home she would do her homework in her own room, the one with the built in desk, and then start supper at Harm’s apartment. Usually he would leave something for her to put in the oven along with the directions of what to do and when.

Twice he had told her at breakfast that he would not be home until late and on those nights she and Jen would fix a meal together. Both times he had claimed the need to work late and said that he and Mac had grabbed a bite together. Mattie just smiled and went along with his explanation. She didn’t let him know that she had watched him come in after mid-night both times and heard him smiling and whistling. She was pleased to think that maybe Harm and Mac had found a way to be together despite their claims that it wouldn’t work. Tonight was one of those nights that Harm had to work late.

December 11, 2003

The next morning, Mattie knocked as she opened Harm’s door as she usually did. Harm looked up from the island and smiled, “Good morning, Mattie...I have news.”

“Good news?” asked Mattie.

“Yesterday afternoon I got a call from the court that they are moving our hearing up. We have to appear before the judge the day before Christmas and Mattie, your father has responded to the court’s attempts to locate him. He’s going to attest my petition to be your guardian.”

“Do we even have a chance?”

“Yes. Have faith in me Mattie. I know I’ve made some stupid moves in my life, but I think I have this well thought out. I also called social services yesterday and went over the plans we’ve made for living arrangements and when I am called out of town. They will be dropping be probably today to check things out and they want to talk to Jen of course.”

“So what magic words do I say to convince them that this is working for us?”

“Mattie, it’s called the truth.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes...why the concern?”

“Just wondering if you live by your creed - what is it, ‘the truth is everything?’”

Harm scowled at Mattie’s words. He knew something was on her mind and he wasn’t sure what it was or why she seemed unsettled by it right now. “Mattie, what’s wrong?”

“Harm you said before that I should be truthful when I answered the judges questions.”

“That’s right.”

“What are you going to say if the judge asks about your relationship with Mac?”

“I don’t think...”

“Harm you said they already asked you if you were married or had a significant other and you said you told them no.”

“That’s the truth...what are you getting at Mattie?”

“What’s Mac to you?”

“Mattie...”

“No, Harm...you need to know how to answer that question.”

“Mattie, I don’t think the judge will ask, but if you are asking me I’ll do my best to answer you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Mac and I go back eight years and we have worked together as partners and adversaries. I respect her and what she’s done with her life. She and I have been friends - best friends - most of that time. Right now we are trying to reestablish our friendship and explore to see if there can ever be more. There isn’t a label I can put on what we have right now. Yes, she is important to me...and so are you. I won’t let what Mac and I may or may not have interfere with my promise to you.”

“But what if she can help us?”

“I won’t ask Mac to do something that she doesn’t believe in. If she wants to vouch for us - for me - she’ll offer. She knows what the process is.”

Mattie rolled her eyes and said, “Aren’t you the person that said I needed to open up so you could help me? Didn’t you tell me over and over to have faith and to trust you?”

“Yes...”

“Then why can’t you open up to Mac?”

“It’s different...”

“Is it? I don’t see it.”

“Mattie, I think that’s enough. Breakfast is ready.”

“Harm, I’m not trying to be a brat but I really don’t see how you not asking Mac is different from me not telling you that I was losing the business so you could help.” Mattie sat down at the table with Harm to eat a breakfast of fruit and a bagel with cream cheese.

Harm thought about what Mattie said as he chewed on the bagel, sipping his coffee. He realized that Mattie had a point, he couldn’t be expected to know what to do if Mattie didn’t tell him what the problem was. He thought also to the times that Mac had not told him about things she was dealing with, like the stalker or her husband. He hadn’t been able to help then. By the time he found out she had needed him, it was too late. And now he was doing the same to her...expecting her to offer help when he hadn’t asked or told her.

“I’ll talk to Mac if I get a chance today. Now, what’s on your schedule for the day?”

“School, homework and then dinner as usual I guess. You?”

“I have to go to Pax River on an investigation this morning, and then I have a deposition this afternoon on another case. At 1500 we have panel selection for a case that starts soon.”

“And?”

“And somewhere in there I will tell Mac that I need a character witness to vouch for my suitability to be your guardian.”

“And?”

“And don’t push it.” Harm touched her nose with his finger tip and was rewarded by one of her smiles.

Harm picked Mac up at her apartment so they could head to Pax River for their investigation. Mac slid into the SUV and leaned over to give Harm a quick kiss.

“Good morning, Harm.”

“I guess it is...although I’ve been drilled and grilled by a teenager this morning.”

“Oh dear. Mattie upset about your late nights?”

“No...I don’t think she minds that...but I got a lecture about how I need to model being more open and honest. So, Mac...I know you know I need to have character witnesses testify for me, right?”

“Yes. Do you want me to testify for you?”

“Would you?”

“Yes, I think I can help your case.”

“Thanks, Mac.”

“There’s just one thing, Harm.”

“What’s that?”

“How do I explain...us?”

“Mattie asked me almost the same thing this morning. I told her that there wasn’t a word that explained us, and that we’ve had our ups and downs and we are trying to figure things out now...how do I explain to someone else, what we can’t even figure out ourselves?”

“I suppose we are technically lover’s now...”

“Yes...but that’s just the physical aspect of what we are to each other.”

Mac grinned and then reached over to touch his arm, “Harm, I think we could almost describe each other as significant others...we play a significant role in each others life; we are lover’s; and there doesn’t seem to be any other words that describe us.”

“You wouldn’t deck me if I used that explanation would you?”

“No...as long as you don’t go into detail as to our definition.”

They exchanged smiles and Harm drove with one hand for awhile so he could hold her hand.

It had become a long grueling day before Harm got home that evening. Mac came home with him as they had more case work preparation to do before court the next morning in the case of the Lieutenant that was charged with dereliction of duty. In the old days they probably would have stayed at the office, but Harm needed to be home for Mattie and so Mac had agreed to come with him. She enjoyed sharing the domestic time together. Sometimes Jen joined them, but other times she declined saying that she enjoyed having a quiet dinner while she read to balance the hectic pace of her day.

It felt like they were a family as they talked during dinner. Mattie would talk about her day, Harm would share something from his day and Mac joined in if it was something she had witnessed. They were usually fun things to share and laugh about. They also often told stories about life before they were together.

On Friday, just before they were ready to secure for the day, Harm was sent to the Patrick Henry for an investigation. He knocked on Mac’s door.

“Come on in Harm.”

“Mac, I need help. I’m leaving for an investigation on the Henry in about an hour and I told Mattie we’d go shopping this weekend. She needs a dress for the hearing and Christmas is coming too.”

“Coates around this weekend?”

“I think so...God, I’ve got to check on that too.”

“I’ve got it covered. I’ll stay over at your place this weekend, and Mattie and I will go shopping.”

“You sure?”

“Yes...I use to love doing that with Chloe...I’ve missed it.”

“Mac...thank you.”

“When can we expect you home?”

“If they cooperate I should be home on Sunday...if not, Monday or Tuesday. I’ll call...” Harm promised.

“Do what you need to do. Jen and I will have things covered on this end. Don’t worry if you don’t get through to us. We might catch a movie or go out to eat or something too.”

“Mac, let me leave you some money...”

“Don’t worry about that. You can pay me back when you get home. Now, go so you can get home.”

Harm started out the door, stopped and turned back, “Walk me to my car?”

Mac smiled and then followed Harm into the elevator. When the doors closed, Harm reached for Mac and gave her a brief kiss. He let go of her just as the doors opened. “Just had to get that in...I’ll go the rest of the way by myself,” he smiled as he left a bemused Marine behind.

Part 4

December 13, 2003

Mac and Mattie were bonding more and more each time they were together. Mac was taking Mattie shopping for a dress to wear to court. While they were out Mac suggested that Mattie might like to pick out some decorations for a Christmas tree.

“Harm sometimes puts up a little tree, but he only has like one strand of lights and some garland. I think he would enjoy having something more this year. What do you think?”

“Thanks, Mac. My Mom use to love to decorate. It would mean a lot to me to be able to do some decorating this year.”

“You have some beautiful memories of your mother, don’t you?” Mac asked.

“Yeah...I have some other memories too but I try not to think about them. What about you?”

“Mattie, I try very hard not to think about my childhood. Instead I try to think about what I would like to make Christmas be for the people I love.”

“Like Harm?”

“What?”

“You said you want to make Christmas special for people you love, and I asked if you meant like Harm.”

Mac sighed, “Yes, like Harm. Are you okay with me spending time with him and with you?”

“Yeah...and Mac, you don’t have to sneak out in the morning, you know?”

“What?” Mac felt her face turn red as Mattie’s statement sunk in.

“I saw you leave one morning,” Mattie shrugged.

“Did you say anything to Harm?”

“No...I didn’t want to do anything that might make him think he had to give you up for me. I think it would be great if you two got together. I mean, Jen’s nice and its great having a big sister around, but I know sometimes I’m going to need a mom still.”

“Do you think I might be able to fill that role sometimes?” asked Mac.

“Do you want to?”

“Yes...you know what Mattie?”

“What?”

“You are already showing some Rabb traits - like answering a question with a question.” Mac smiled to take any sting out of her words.

“Must be a family trait...I’ve heard you do the same thing,” Mattie grinned back.

Later that night

North of Union Station

Mattie and Mac were curled up on the couch in Harm’s apartment waiting to see if Harm might call. While they waited they had wrapped presents, shared stories, and enjoyed hot chocolate. The phone finally rang at 2240 and Mattie jumped up to answer it.

“Rabb residence.”

“Hey squirt! How was your day?”

“Hi Harm...Mac and I had a great day. We shopped and bought Christmas decorations and I got my dress. Mac said it’s perfect,” Mattie gushed.

Harm grinned as he listened to her with ‘Mac this’ and ‘Mac that’ and all they had done. “Did Jen go with you?”

“No...she ended up having to work today and then tonight she was going out with some friends...someone named Jason picked her up. Mac seemed to know him.”

“Tiner?”

“Yeah, that’s what Mac called him.”

“Wow...”

“Harm, I miss you...we miss you. When are you coming home?”

Harm swallowed the lump in his throat and his voice was hoarse with emotion when he answered. “I should be getting back sometime tomorrow night...so I’ll see you for breakfast Monday morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Mattie?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you too.”

“Mac’s right here.”

“Can I talk to her please?”

“Yeah...I’m going to bed. See you soon.”

Mattie hugged Mac as she handed her the phone and whispered, “Thanks, Mac. See you in the morning.”

“Night Mattie...Hey...”

“Sounds like you are her new hero,” Harm smiled as he made his observation to Mac.

“You okay with that?”

“Of course...Mac?”

“Yes Harm?”

“I miss you...Are you staying at my place tonight?”

“Yes.”

“And tomorrow night?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Do you want too?”

Mac started to laugh. “I told Mattie when she answered one of my questions with a question that she sounded like you...she told me I did the same thing, so it must be a family trait.”

Mac and Harm shared a laugh long distance and then Mac said, “Harm, I miss you too. I’ll be here when you get home, okay?”

“I hope so.”

“Be careful, Sailor...you have a family now.”

“So will I come home to a decorated apartment?”

“We can wait for you.”

“You can start decorating, just save a few things for me to do with you, okay?”

“Deal...see you soon.”

December 14, 2003

North of Union Station

Mac, Jen, and Mattie got out the decorations that Harm had - a string of white lights, a 20 foot silver garland and a box of six glass balls in various colors. Combined with the new items Mattie and Mac had picked out, they went to work hanging swag lights in the windows; putting candles in holders with greens and red ribbons surrounding the base on the dining room table, the coffee table and the bookcase; a wreath was hung on the door in the hallway; Christmas pot holders and dishtowels were set out in the kitchen; and a tree set up in front of the living room window. They did not decorate the tree saving that for when Harm came home. While Mattie kept Mac busy, Jen put sprigs of mistletoe in the kitchen, over the doorway, and above Harm’s bed.

After they did as much as they wanted to in Harm’s apartment the three of them worked on decorations in Jen and Mattie’s apartment. They put swag lights in their windows as well and put up a small artificial tree with the filament lights built in. A winter wonderland covered table cloth covered the table and a few holiday scented candles were spread around the room.

Once they were done, they went back to Harm’s apartment to make gingerbread cookies. They wanted some to eat and some to hang on the tree when they decorated.

Mac’s cell phone rang as they were finishing their cleaning from their projects. She was laughing when she answered.

“Hello?”

“Mac?”

“Chloe! What a nice surprise?”

“You sound happy? Where are you?”

“Actually I’m at Harm’s with Mattie and Jen. We’ve been decorating and baking and I was telling them about the first batch of gingerbread men that you and I made. Remember?”

“Yeah...I remember...so where’s Harm and who are Mattie and Jen?”

“Didn’t you get my letter?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry Chloe. You remember Jen, the Petty Officer Harm brought by when you were here for Christmas the last time?”

“Oh yeah, Now I remember.” Chloe’s tone started to brighten.

“Mattie is a girl about a year younger then you that Harm has applied to be a guardian for. She lives next door to Harm with Jen, because Harm doesn’t have a second bedroom. I think you two would get along great...but Harm and I would be in trouble with the two of you ganging up on us,” Mac laughed.

“Does this mean that you and Harm finally got together?”

“We’re working on it...we’ve got some hurdles to get over, but I finally think we can do it.”

“Wow! Is Harm there now?”

“No...he’s on assignment and is due home tonight. So how’s school going?”

“Great...Mac, can you come up for the holidays this year?”

“Afraid not, Chloe...but can you come down for a few days during your vacation?”

“Not this year...I’m working during vacation. I need to save up for a car and I need to put money away for college.”

“I know...Chloe, I’ll try to get up there soon. I miss you.”

“Probably not so much now you got Harm and Mattie and Jen...”

“Chloe, I still love you...I always will, you know.”

“I know...its just sometimes growing up and needing to plan for big expensive things is a bummer.”

“I know...I’ll call you at Christmas.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon, Mac. I miss you.”

They disconnected the call and Mac looked up with a tear in her eye to see Jen and Mattie watching her.

“Sorry...I miss Chloe and she sounded like she would love to be here with us.”

Jen and Mac talked about Chloe a little more and told Mattie about her. Before they knew it they were all yawning and deciding to call it a night. Mattie hugged Mac before she left saying, “See you in the morning.”

Mac wanted to wait up for Harm but she wasn’t sure what time he would get home. She changed into one of Harm’s t-shirts and curled up on the couch with a blanket and pillow. She kept the Christmas lights on but turned off the regular lights.

Part 5

0200 EST

North of Union Station

Harm was exhausted by the time he unlocked his door and entered his apartment. He had noticed the Christmas lights in the window when he pulled up and it made him smile to imagine his girls decorating. As he quietly made his way up his stairs expecting to see Mac in his bed, his heart dropped when he saw the empty bed. He decided Mac must have decided not to stay after all. He went into his bathroom, stripped off his travel worn clothes, stepped into a warm shower before toweling off and slipping on clean boxers and into his bed. He was just relaxing when he heard Mac’s voice.

“Harm? That you?”

“Mac? Where were you?”

“I fell asleep on the couch. Did I hear the shower running?”

“Yeah...are you going to join me?”

Mac answered him from beside the bed, “Move over Sailor, I’m hot bunking.”

Mac slid into bed and into Harm’s arms. They exchanged a sweet kiss and then cuddled as Harm yawned.

“I want you, Mac, but I’m too tired tonight.”

“Go to sleep Harm...I know.”

0630 EST

December 15, 2003

North of Union Station

Mac was in the kitchen starting coffee, pouring juice and making French Toast and sausage (for Mattie and herself) while Harm got ready for work. Mattie knocked once and entered just as Harm started down the steps from the bedroom.

“Harm! You made it...did you like our decorations?”

“Morning to you to, Miss Grace.” Harm gave her a hug while he looked at Mac. “It looks wonderful in here. I see you saved the tree for me to help with.”

“Of course...but Harm...” Mattie stretched on tiptoes and whispered in Harm’s ear, “Did you see what’s over Mac’s head?”

Harm’s eyes looked over Mac’s head and as it dawned on him what she was referring to he started to smile. “I’ll take care of that right now...”

“Morning, Mac...” Harm said as he walked toward her grinning. “I believe you referred to this as awkward moment three hundred and ten last time...and I have no idea what number it would be and I hope its not as awkward, but...” Mac watched him approached as she tried to follow his weird monologue. As he lowered his head to touch his lips to hers she realized that there must be some mistletoe in the kitchen. She smiled as she slid her hands around his neck to hold his head while she deepened the kiss just a little for a few seconds.

“Mmmm...no more awkward, Sailor.” Mac murmured against his ear. She turned to Mattie and smiled, “You or Jen behind this little decoration?”

Mattie feigned innocence as she looked back and forth at the two before offering, “Joint effort?”

“Well, that was a nice touch and we’ll make sure it gets used,” Harm smiled. “French Toast, Marine?”

“Yes...with sausage for Mattie and me.” Mac added.

Harm wrinkled his nose, but Mac caught him sneaking a taste of hers off her plate as they sat at the table to share breakfast. It was a scene that smacked of domestic bliss.

1330 EST

December 17, 2003

JAG HQ

Mac’s Office

“Harm I’m telling you that guy is guilty. He shirked his duty to ogle women on the beach and as a result there was almost an accident that could have been fatal.”

“Mac, he’s a young guy, away from home for the first time. He had never encountered a beach with sunbathers strolling around topless. The poor guy lost his concentration for a few minutes and then was too embarrassed to return to duty until he had his body under control again. The accident would have happened even if he had been there. Ensign Timmins had covered Ensign Marten’s duties.”

“But Ensign Marten had more experience and could have avoided the mishap.”

“Speculation, Counselor...”

“Harm if there are no consequences for Ensign Marten’s lack of control over his private bodily functions, then every sailor that is exposed to naked female breasts is going to try and make excuses for neglecting their duties...or scratching their itch!”

“Mac, you can’t be serious.”

“I’m very serious.”

“Mac it’s natural for a guy to react to naked breasts to some degree...”

“Are you telling me that you and Bud could concentrate on your duties when you walked onto the topless beach in Australia?”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Bud’s married and I’m not some naive virgin boy from an over protective family.”

“Oh is that why you were so wrapped up in trying to see if I was topless of not?”

“Mac we’re not talking about you and me. We’re talking about my client and his lack of experience and his learning how to cope. Trust me, he won’t have as much trouble the next time.”

“There shouldn’t be a next time because he should be run out of the navy for this!”

“Mac stop being so unreasonable about...”

“Unreasonable? Commander is it unreasonable to expect that a man have enough control over his body that a little flesh doesn’t incapacitate him?”

“Mac...”

“You certainly have shown over the years that you can control your lust...or is it that your reputation as a ladies man is so overblown that you just don’t have the need to control what doesn’t exist?”

“Mac, where is this coming from? Are you mad at me for something?”

“Don’t make it personal Commander...”

“You are the one that made it personal, Colonel.” Harm turned and walked off realizing that he was not going to get anywhere with Mac when she was like this. He retreated to his office.

A short while later he heard a noise and looked up to see the Admiral approaching his office. He stood only to have the Admiral motion him back into his seat. The admiral closed Harm’s office door and took a seat.

“Commander, I understand that you and Mac had another disagreement over a case.”

“Yes sir.”

“Do you think you can move past it?”

“Professionally or personally sir?”

“Aahhh...one of those arguments huh?”

“It didn’t start out that way sir. And things have been going so well that it really took we by surprised when Mac made it personal.”

“Care to recount it to me so I can help you sort it out?”

Harm hesitated a little but then told the admiral what had been said, including his own less then stellar comments and his decision to walk away. “Sir, may I ask how you became aware of this situation?”

“Colonel Mackenzie arrived in my office and had a few choice words to say about a certain Commander’s less then professional attitude. However, she neglected to recount the incident in detail and said that I would probably only side with the male of the species anyway.”

“Admiral, I...”

“Relax Commander. I suspect there’s something more going on here then Mac’s willing to let on. She’s gone off on these tangents a few times since last winter...remember the guy that tried to put one over on her with the technology stuff?”

“Yes sir I do...I believe you even had me try to keep her calm and focused on that one.”

“I did...she’s gone off at Sturgis and even Bud a few times, but I actually thought things were getting better since you had returned. What about your relationship with the Colonel?”

“I thought it was much better. How much do you want me to share, Admiral?”

“This is just you and me and we’re off the record, Harm.”

Harm nodded his understanding that he could be open and honest without fear of repercussion. “Mac has been helping me with Mattie, along with Jennifer Coates. She admitted that she wasn’t involved with Webb as she had led me to believe and we’ve finally admitted that we care about each other and want something more. We are working on building trust and getting use to the new dimension Mattie is bringing to us.”

“Is she jealous of the time you spend with Mattie?”

“She doesn’t appear to be. She actually has spent some time alone with Mattie as well. She’s very good with her sir.”

“Have you told her that?”

“Yes, I think so. I know I’ve thanked her for being there for Mattie and me.”

“Harm, I’ve got to tell you that this has me baffled. If there was just an issue around the case I’d say that you two would work it out. I’m tempted to pull her off the case, but right now I can’t think of a good reason for it- that she would buy. No Commander, I’m not sure what to tell you.”

“Well, thank you anyway, sir.”

“Commander, I’m thinking that Meredith might be able to figure this out...I’ve found she has uncanny insight at times.”

“Well if she has any suggestions as to what I’m doing wrong, I will be glad to hear her out. In the meantime, I guess I’ll give her some space and work on other cases I have open.”

“You know, Commander, I’ve seen you make wise decisions since you returned...I’m proud of you, son.”

“Thank you Admiral.” Harm stood as the Admiral rose to leave.

“I’ll have Meredith call you if she thinks of anything.”

Harm decided to keep to himself most of the rest of the day. He didn’t hear from Mac and when he left to go home her office was dark. Harriet saw him looking toward her office and spoke up.

“See left two hours ago Commander.”

“How did she seem, Harriet?”

“Like she wanted to tear someone’s head off sir.”

“Do you know what’s bothering her Harriet?”

“No, sir...but she has had moments like this often on for several months now.”

“Well, I’ll try to stay out of her way so I don’t tick her off anymore,” Harm offered.

“Sir, I’m not sure that will help. When she gets like this it usually doesn’t make a difference what we do or don’t do. She’ll get over it in her own time.”

Harm was truly puzzled and shook his head as he left the bullpen to head home. He thought about Mattie looking forward to trimming the tree. Mac was suppose to be joining them this evening to trim the tree, but after today he didn’t think she’d be joining them. He was therefore surprised to find Mac already at his place when he got home.

Mattie had thrown her arms around him in a hug that he was learning to expect. He kissed the top of her head as usual as he returned the squeeze. Mac smiled and continued to lay out the strings of lights for the tree.

“We thought we’d get the stuff ready and we’ve ordered pizza for supper. That okay, Harm?”

“Of course, Mattie. Just let me change out of this uniform and I’ll join you.”

Harm had just finished pulling on jeans and a sweater when the phone rang. He picked up the extension in his bedroom. “Rabb.”

“Harm, this is Meredith. AJ just told me about the situation with Sarah.”

“Any ideas?”

“Yes...my guess is PMS, Commander.”

“PMS? Hormones?”

“Yes...have you seen her since she you argued?”

“Yes, she’s here now.”

“Oh my...how is she? Combative? Quiet?”

“Quiet...”

“I may be wrong Commander but from what AJ told me, it’s the most logical explanation I can find. Not to get too personal, Harm, but has she seemed more interested in being intimate recently?”

Harm blushed and managed to stutter out, “That’s still pretty new to us, Ma’am.”

“Understood, Harm...you were away over the weekend, right?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been intimate since you returned?”

“Not completely, no...look it sounds like I just need to be careful and wait this out. Thank you for you insight.”

“Just be patient and loving with her, Harm.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.” He disconnected the call and joined Mac and Mattie. “So, are we ready to get this tree decorated?”

Mac watched Harm and Mattie set to work on the tree while she focused on preparing the things they would need for it. Harm smiled at her every time their eyes met. She had been a little worried about just showing up here but they had made plans for tonight. She knew that she had been unfair attacking him and then complaining to him to their Commanding Officer. She had found herself over reacting a lot lately, and today had attended her first appointment with a therapist to talk about some of the things that she was struggling with. They had quickly identified that part of her problem was none other then PMS. She would talk to Harm about that issue later when they were alone. So far he had not seemed to be angry with her, but he did seem to try to keep his distance. If Mattie was aware of any tension between them, she didn’t let on.

Little by little, the tree was decorated. When they finished the tree and the last of the pizza, now cold, they sat together to enjoy their work. Mattie yawned and wished them both good-night. Harm opened his arms to Mac, and she slid over to lean against him. With one arm slid behind him at his waist, and the other resting on his chest, she looked up at him as he looked down at her.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I’m sorry, Harm. I know I was totally unreasonable today and I owe you a huge apology for my behavior.”

“Did I do something that started it off?”

“Not intentionally.”

“Mac? What did I do?”

“It doesn’t matter now...it wasn’t really your fault anyway...”

“Mac, you’ve got to tell me. How else will I learn and be able to understand?”

“I was looking forward to making love with you when you got home and when you were so tired that all you could manage was a quick kiss, I was kind of frustrated. It was one thing be without for two and a half years, but then to be with you, it was even more frustrating knowing what I could have and wasn’t getting.”

Harm bit his lip trying not to laugh at the way Mac was explaining her reaction to him. He was glad Meredith had more or less figured it out so that he could handle this carefully. “Mac, I’m sorry...it’s all I thought about on the way home, but then I was just so tired and then Monday and Tuesday night you stayed at your place...shall we make up for it tonight?” Harm whispered in her ear.

“Harm, I really don’t feel up to it tonight...cramps, you know?” Mac explained.

Harm nodded and then shifted so he could turn her back to him and reach around her. “Then what if I just hold you and maybe rub your stomach or your back or something?”

“You’d do that?”

“Sure...for you, anything.”

Mac settled against him and held his hands over her stomach and she rested her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat. “Harm, about today in my office...”

“Ssshhh, we’re off duty now. We’ll deal with it at the office tomorrow. Right now Sarah and Harm are just enjoying being together.”

Mac smiled as she listened to Harm’s voice rumble in his chest, under her ear. Mac played with his fingers as they lace together over her stomach. She thought about how she found herself often placing her hand on her pregnancy belly when she was undercover. As she looked at Harm’s hands placed there she thought about what it would be like if they were able to work out there issues enough so that some day their child would grow inside of her. She sighed, and relaxed further into Harm’s body as the warmth from his hands eased her discomfort.

Early the next morning Mac awoke still in Harm’s arms and still on the couch. She got up carefully and made her way to the bathroom. She was a mess and needed to clean up enough to go home and get ready for work. She showered quickly and pulled on clean underwear she had left in a drawer at Harm’s the previous weekend and then pulled on a pair of sweat pants and sweatshirt that had been left as well. She woke Harm up to tell him she needed to leave but would see him at work later.

He stretched as he stood up trying to work the kinks out. After exchanging a quick kiss Mac left and Harm went to get ready for work.

Part 6

1020 EST

December 18, 2003

JAG HQ

Harm knocked on Mac’s door after his morning session in court. He had been in court to select the members for a trial he was prosecuting against Turner.

“Morning...”

“Hey...stiff neck?”

“No...shower seemed to have worked the kinks out. Shall we talk about the case again?”

“Yes...Harm I still think Ensign Timmins was less experienced and Ensign Marten could have prevented the problems...”

“I’m sure my client will appreciate the faith you have in his abilities, however, are you still determined to go for dereliction of duty?”

“Yes...but are you interested in talking about a settlement?”

“Could be...what will you offer?”

“Six months brig time and then return to duty.”

“No brig time...punitive letter of reprimand and fifty percent pay for two months.”

“Harm...”

“Mac...”

“Okay, Punitive letter and fifty percent pay for six months.”

“I’ll present it to Ensign Marten. I’m sure he will accept and I also think you’ll find he won’t find himself in a similar situation again.”

“So, Harm...when was the first time you ever dealt with topless sunbathing and how did you handle it?”

“Red light Colonel...” and then leaning over to whisper to her he added, “Ask me sometime when we are at home and alone.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her before pushing off and standing up to leave. “What’s on your calendar tonight?”

“I have an appointment and I think I need an early night in my own bed.”

“Okay...I promised Mattie we’d work on her term paper tonight. You busy tomorrow night and this weekend?”

“I need to finish my shopping and do some cleaning, but I’ll save some time for you.”

“Thanks...how about dinner Friday night?”

“Counter offer - how about dinner Saturday night and then I can get all my stuff done first before I come over.”

“Deal...see you later?”

“Probably.”

Mac watched Harm walk away before turning to the work piling up on her desk.

1400 EST

December 24, 2003

Court for State of Virginia

Harm, dressed in his winter blue uniform escorted Mattie into the courthouse wearing the dress she and Mac had selected. It reminded Mattie of her favorite dress her mother had ever given her that she had outgrown years ago. Mac had said it was perfect for the court. Mac had also made sure that she had a new sweater to wear with it and a winter dress coat. Mattie had a pair of dress winter boots that had been new last year, one of the last things she had shopped for with her mother.

Harm looked to see if Mac had arrived yet, but did not see her. A small man with beady eyes and sandy hair sat opposite the table. Harm knew that this must be Mattie’s biological father. He found himself standing straighter and trying to stay calm for Mattie when what he wanted to do was tear into him and give him a piece of his mind.

They stood as the judge was announced. She explained the parameters of the hearing. She explained how each of the gentlemen would need to prove to her why they should be made Mattie’s guardian. Mr. Johnson was given the first chance after she reprimanded him for leaving Mattie alone. He stated his case by explaining that he had left her with family members not alone, and that he had recently sobered up and was ready to be a father to Mattie again and try to get the business back.

Harm had cautioned Mattie a few times as he saw her getting more and more frustrated. Once she interrupted the judge and her father demanding to be called Mattie Grace and not Mattie Johnson. She also made it clear she was angry with her father and would not accept living with him. Harm quietly reprimanded her and told her to apologize which she immediately did. The issues with her biological father would take much longer to deal with, he knew, so he relied on his training as an officer of the court and reminded her that her father had a right to be heard.

When her father had finished, Mattie then asked to be heard. “Thomas Johnson may be my biological father, but he also made poor choices that resulted in my mother’s death. I can’t forgive him for that and I do not want to live with him. Commander Rabb has offered to make room for me in his life, because he cares about people and for some reason me. He has taken me under his wing and given me a safe place to live. He has provided me with a surrogate family. I feel safe and loved for the first time in almost a year, Your Honor. I want Commander Rabb to be my guardian.”

“You speak well, Miss Grace. I would like to hear from Commander Rabb now as to why he wants custody of you.”

“Your Honor, I lost my father when I was five because he went MIA in Vietnam and later died. I do not take the responsibilities of fatherhood lightly. It is too important a role in the development of a child. I have promised this little girl that she will never have to be alone again. I have made arrangements for her to live with a colleague of mine in the apartment next door to me as my apartment has only one bedroom. This way, when I am called away for my work as I was a short time ago, she can be supervised by someone I trust and who has a way to get a hold of me if necessary. At the same time we are able to have breakfast and dinner together almost every night like a real family. I help her with her homework and I’m there for her to talk to if she needs me.”

“Thank you, Commander. I understood that you there was someone that was going to vouch for you. Is that person here?”

“No, Your Honor. I expect she has been unavoidably detained.”

“Very well...”

“Excuse me Your Honor,” interrupted the guard at the door. “A Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie and a Petty Officer Jennifer Coates are here and say they have something to offer in regards to this hearing.”

“Are these your witnesses, Commander?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Harm answered as he turned to Mac not sure whether she should be worried or pleased she finally made it and Jen, who he had not expected at all.

“Go ahead.”

“Thank you Your Honor. I apologize to the court for being late. When Commander Rabb first asked me about vouching for him as Mattie’s guardian, I wasn’t surprised, as he has shown over the eight years I have known him that he has a soft spot for children and adults in need. I would like the Petty Officer to make her remarks first, and then I’ll make mine.” Mac stepped back and motioned Jen forward.

“Your Honor, when I first met Commander Rabb two years ago, I was heading for the brig and more trouble then I had ever been in before. I was talking about wanting to quit the Navy and get on with my life. He pointed out that what I had been doing wasn’t working and that I had a chance to make something of myself. He introduced me to Colonel Mackenzie where I stayed at night, and then kept me with him during the day including me in any holiday festivities he attended. He made me feel like he cared about me as a person and that if he could care about me, then maybe there was a reason I should care about myself. He and Colonel Mackenzie were the first people in my life that cared about me. They brought me into their circle and help me turn my life around. I have not been in trouble since and have a great career in the navy. I have a chance to help someone else in return now, as Mattie lives with me and it’s like having a little sister. We study together sometimes, as I am starting to take college courses and some day hope to pursue a career as a psychologist. I thing Commander Rabb will make a great father for Mattie.”

“Thank you Petty Officer Coates. Colonel Mackenzie, do you have something to add?”

“Yes, Your Honor. I’ve known Commander Rabb for eight years, as a partner and as a friend. I have seen him risk is life to protect children and I have seen him relentless in his pursuit of the murderer of a six year old child who was also threatening his victim’s sister. I have watched him with Mattie and with Jennifer Coates. He sets limits and provides guidance while teaching them to think for themselves. Both are very independent head strong young women, and Commander Rabb is able to take that in stride and help them to use it in a positive way. Although I have no further evidence to offer, I know I have given a lot of thought to the kind of man I would want to be the father of my children. Commander Rabb is that kind of man.”

“Thank you Colonel. While I have reservations with both situations, I feel that you have a lot of work to do Mr. Johnson before you will be ready to give Mattie the time and devotion she needs. You have indicated that you need to get your business off the ground again and that will not be easy...Neither will sobriety. I feel that it would be setting you and Mattie up for failure.

“Mattie you have expressed, a desire to live with the Commander and I can see where he has made suitable arrangements that while unconventional, serve the purpose. You however, need to deal with your resentment of your biological father and understand that he has an illness, an addiction to alcohol. If he is able to overcome this he deserves your support and a second chance.

“Commander Rabb, while normally I would hesitate to do this, I am granting you temporary custody of Mathilda Grace Johnson for a period of six months when we will reconvene for a status check and determine permanent custody. Court Dismissed.”

Mattie looked at Harm and saw his silent prayer before he opened his arms to her. She flew into them, and then hugged each other close. Harm kissed the top of her head, and the looked up at Mr. Johnson.

“Mattie, let’s talk to your dad...Mr. Johnson, I will take good care of Mattie. We’ll come see you when you are ready for visitors and I will do what I can to help you get the business up and running.”

“Thank you Commander, but I am not feeling very grateful at the moment.” With that Thomas Johnson brushed past the tall navel officer, the teenager, and the two uniformed women.

Harm put his arm around Mattie’s shoulder and turned to Jen and Mac. “Thank you both...Jen, you don’t give yourself enough credit for turning your life around. Mac...” they briefly embraced mindful of the fact they were in uniform. “I...you...”shaking his head he finished, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcomed. Hey, we’ve got a big night planned, gang, right?”

Harm smiled and with one arm around Mac and one around Mattie, they made their way out of the courtroom. Harm excused himself to go get the necessary paperwork he would need as a result of today’s hearing. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

Mattie, Mac and Jen made their way out to the cars. Jen had driven her car which she started up. Harm had driven his Corvette. The cars were parked nose to nose.

“We are suppose to drop by the Admiral’s house this year. We usually go to the service together which is at 2000 tonight at the chapel. Harm likes to go to see his Dad afterwards. I know he wanted to do something special tonight to celebrate our first Christmas Eve together. Somewhere in here we need to eat, too.”

“You in need of food again, Marine?” Harm asked as he trotted across the parking lot to join them.

“Yes...I don’t think anyone ate lunch today.” Mac smiled as she watched Mattie slip her arm around Harm again and him hugging her in return.

“If we go eat now, then we’ll have to go in uniform to the night’s events.”

“That’s okay.”

“Great! Now my dress is a uniform!” exclaimed Mattie.

They all laughed as they decided to swing by the apartments and switch to Harm’s SUV so they could go together in one car. It was a wondrous evening for all of them. They decided to eat a light supper at a nearby café that had a something for everyone. They then went to Admiral Chegwidden’s house and introduced Mattie to everyone. It was also the first time Mac and Harm appeared in public with their colleagues as a couple. Next they followed one another to the chapel where Chaplain Turner delivered another wonderful sermon that touched everyone. Harriet, Bud and Mike Roberts sat together, while Grandfather Bud watched the children at home. Mac, Harm, Mattie and Jen sat together behind, the Admiral, Meredith and Sturgis.

When they left the chapel, Harm asked them if they would be willing to join him this year at the Wall. Mac took Harm’s hand and squeezed lightly as she answered, “If you are sure that’s what you want?”

“I do. There’s a few things I need to say and I think it will be easier there.”

Once at the wall, Harm parked the car and they moved solemnly along the imposing black wall softly lit by candles others had left in memory of loved ones. Harm stopped at the place in the wall, and turned to his father’s name. Mac, Jen and Mattie stayed a few steps back to give Harm a moment alone. Harm turned to them and held out his arm.

“Dad, I wish you could be here to meet my family. It’s not a traditional family, but they’ve brought me the love and joy that I remember you and Mom had. They make me laugh and they make me cry, too. I think I finally understand that to have one, you must accept the other and as long as there are tears of joy mixed in with the tears of pain and loss, then it means you are alive and that you can feel. When you feel - really feel you get the greatest joy of all - love.

“These three ladies have helped me to understand that, Dad. Two years ago Jen came into our lives and we trusted her and helped her learn she had choices; she showed us a few months later with her unselfishness that she belonged with the family that JAG had become for me. Mattie came into my life at one of the lowest points I have ever experienced; I thought I had lost Mac and the Navy for good, I was fired from the CIA, and I had no clue what I was going to do with my life.

“Then I met Mathilda Grace, Mattie. She climbed into my heart that very first day, much the way Mac did eight years ago. I knew that I wanted to be there for her, and she decided she wanted me too. The judge is letting us try this for six months, but I think that no matters what happens, Mattie and I will belong together the rest of our lives, the way Mac and I do...” Harm turned then to Mac, and pulled her to stand in front of him next to the wall. Jen and Mattie watched on in wonder as Harm framed Mac’s face with his hands.

“Mac, I know this may seem sudden, and probably not the romantic scene you’d hope for with a audience and all, but I just felt that it was right to do this here and now. You’ve put up with a lot from me over the last eight years. I’ve hurt you and I’m ashamed of myself that I did. Most of the time I didn’t intend to say things to hurt you, but I still did. It’s taking me a while to say what I am about to say, but just know this...the feeling behind the words aren’t new...Mac, I love you and I know we still have things to work out, but will you marry me?”

Mac’s tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed into her lover’s eyes. She had loved this man for so long and had given up on them ever being able to have a future as more then friends when he turned around and let her know in his own way he had been fighting to have this relationship with her for years. He had steered them around hurdles both physical and emotional until they were both in a place where they were ready to be together.

“Mac?”

“Yes! Oh Harm, I love you so much...Are you sure you’re ready for marriage?”

“Yes if you are...only with you.”

Harm and Mac turned then to draw Mattie and Jen into their circle. “Thank you for being my family...you have all helped me to have pleasant memories of Christmas Eve...and thank you for sharing this traditional visit with me this year.”

They all headed back to the SUV then and to Harm’s apartment. Once inside they started the fireplace, turned on all the Christmas lights and lit candles. Everyone changed into more comfortable clothes and Harm also made hot cider. Mac brought out gingerbread cookies that she and Mattie had made and frozen, and thawed out by taking them out that morning.

Mattie brought Harm his guitar as they settled around the fireplace and Christmas tree.

“Please, play and sing for us.”

“You sing along, and you’ve got a deal.”

They all acquiesced and Harm strummed a few chords. Soon his warm rich voice filled the room as he started singing, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas...let your heart be light...From now on, our troubles will be out of sight...” They all joined in with the song. Next they went into “O Come All Ye Faithful”, “Silent Night,” “Hark the Harold Angels Sing” before starting on more contemporary songs like “Winter Wonderland,” “White Christmas,” and “Silver Bells.”

Mac watched Mattie begin to nod and nudged Harm. “Okay, I think we better call it a night. Somebody is falling asleep,” he hinted.

“Not me...” Mattie yawned.

“Come on...our first Christmas together tomorrow. Come over when you get up and we’ll get breakfast before we tackle all the loot,” Harm brought the gathering to an end. Mattie got up and walked over to Mac to give her a hug.

“Night Mac...love you.”

“I love you too Mattie. See you in the morning.”

Harm walked her to the door, “Merry Christmas Mattie,” and hugged her tight.

“Merry Christmas, Harm...love you too,” Mattie mumbled almost asleep against his chest.

He scooped her up and said to Mac, “I’ll be right back,” before carrying his little girl next door to put her to bed. Jen opened the doors so he could carry her through to her room. Jen turned down the covers and Harm laid her down covering her up and kissing her forehead, “Love you Mattie...see you in the morning.”

Mattie mumbled and turned over asleep before Harm was out the door.

“Thanks for everything, Jen.”

“You’re welcomed...and congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thanks. Merry Christmas. See you in the morning.”

Harm returned to his own apartment and his fiancé. The fireplace was banked, the lights were off, except for the ones on the tree, and he found Mac waiting for him in his bed.

“She asleep?”

“Yeah, before I got her tucked in, I think.”

Harm slipped out of his clothes and into bed with Mac. Gathering her into his arms, he began kissing her while his hands roamed over her silky skin. After a few minutes, Harm pulled back and reached into the drawer next to his bed. Mac watched him when she realized he was not reaching for the foil packets he kept there.

“Mac, I should have had this with me earlier I guess, but I didn’t plan for things to unfold as quickly as they did and so I wasn’t prepared. I asked you earlier to marry me.”

“And I said yes.”

“Then I think you should put this on.” Harm held out a little blue velvet box with a simple gold ring with an inset diamond in the center.

“Oh Harm, it’s beautiful...and it fits perfectly. You have excellent taste Harm.”

“I don’t know about that...I just didn’t want some big gaudy thing like the one Mic gave you...I wanted something that was like you, beautiful, practical, durable, and sparkly.”

“Wow and you’re being poetic too.”

Harm drew her into his arms and resumed showing her how much he loved her.

Part 7

1230 EST

December 29, 2003

JAG HQ

Admiral Chegwidden entered the bull pen upon returning from his meeting with the SecNav walking with purpose as he strode to his office. As he passed Colonel Mackenzie’s office he paused long enough to bark orders, “Colonel, get Commanders Turner and Rabb and report to my office ASAP.”

“Aye, Aye, sir.” Mac grabbed her phone and buzzed Harm’s office knowing both Sturgis and Harm were there discussing a case they were investigating. “Admiral wants us in his office ASAP - Turner too.”

“On our way, Mac.” Harm hung up the phone, rose from his seat and informed Sturgis of their orders while moving toward the door.

They all arrived at the same time, and Mac announced them.

“At ease, people. Have a seat. We’ve got a situation on our hands. I just returned from the SecNav’s office, and he has informed me that we are needed to handle a high profile case in Europe.”

“Another tribunal, Admiral?” asked Commander Turner.

“Not exactly. As you know Saddam Hussein was found the week before Christmas. His daughter has asked that counsel be provided and we have been asked to provide that counsel.”

“All of us, Admiral?”asked Mac.

“No Colonel. One of you will provide counsel while the other two will serve on an International panel overseeing the proceedings. Now, in case you feel that one person isn’t enough to provide counsel in this case, you will be working with one or two other lawyers from other countries. You will share the defense responsibilities between you.”

“Admiral, I would like to serve on the defense team. I feel that it would be an interesting experience working with counselors from other countries and perhaps repair some of the damage done earlier this year to my career.”

“Are you sure Commander Turner? All three of these assignments will look good on your records. Commander Rabb, you weren’t all that thrilled with the experience of being a judge, if I recall, so I wonder if you will find this all that different.”

“Sir, I feel that I have reached a point in my life where I can handle it and I would like the opportunity to find out.”

“Colonel? Do you feel that you will be able to work with Commander Rabb on this panel?”

“Yes, sir. As the Commander has indicated he’s not the same person he was a year ago.”

“Sir?”

“Commander?”

“When do we go and how long do you expect we will be gone?”

“Ah, yes...the family man has responsibilities now. I would expect you’ll hear from them within a week as to where you will be sent. In the meantime, they want to be able to investigate the three of you and are sending you information about the others who will be on your team. It is possible that there may be panel members that will challenge your appointment. Once you go, I would plan on being gone between three and four weeks. Will that be a problem Commander?” asked Admiral Chegwidden.

“No sir.”

“Very well. Colonel Mackenzie, do you have any problems with this assignment?”

“No sir.”

“Very good. Dismissed.”

As they exited, Mac quietly said to Harm, “Let’s go to my office.”

“Right behind you, Colonel.”

Once in her office with the door closed, Mac turned to Harm and studied him a few seconds. He watched her study his face and body language and suppressed a grin. He liked the fact she was trying to read him without words. Just as she started to open her mouth to say something to Harm her phone buzzed. She held up one finger to indicate to Harm that he should wait.

“Colonel Mackenzie.”

“Mac, when you were in my office I noticed you are wearing some new jewelry on your left ring finger. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others in case it created a problem, but I assume congratulations are in order.”

“Yes sir,” Mac smiled and winked at Harm. “As a matter of fact Admiral, my fiancé is standing in my office with me right now, if you’d like to meet him.”

“Bring him in Colonel...”

“We’ll be right there, sir.” Putting down the phone she smiled at Harm. “It’s time to fill the Admiral in seeing as he was gone this morning.”

“Why did he call? Why not say something while we were in there?”

“Didn’t want to cause any problems he said...come on,” Mac led the way back to the Admiral’s office. His door was partly opened and he motioned Mac in. Harm stood back just a little until he heard Mac say, “AdmiralChegwidden, I’d like you to meet my fiancé,”

Mac stopped as Harm entered and the Admiral stood opened mouth for a split second, before breaking into a smile and saying, “Commander Rabb?”

“Aye, aye, sir.”

“This must come under the heading of a Christmas miracle, doesn’t it Mac?”

“Yes sir...”

“I knew that you seemed to be getting closer again and for the most part I was pleased at the way you dealt with each other on a professional level since Rabb’s return. I didn’t realize that you had been able to work out the personal side to your relationship as well. I am happy for you...although that’s going to make things a bit tricky to keep two of my best both here.”

“Well, sir, I guess it would make since if one of us needs to go, that it be me, unless there is something else that would help Mac’s career. My career has probably topped out as a result of the past year, but Mac shouldn’t have to take a career hit, too.” Harm offered.

“Are you planning a wedding right away?”

“We haven’t talked about a date yet, sir. We know there are things to be worked out career wise and with this new assignment, it probably will be spring at least,” suggested Mac.

“I will start looking into options for you to consider.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Congratulations to both of you. I’m glad you found your way to each other. Since I found Meredith I’ve been happier then I have in years...even though there are still bumps in the road. Remember that...if you two work at your personal relationship with the same commitment that you’ve worked as JAG partners, you’ll have one hell of a ride.”

“Thank you sir.”

“If that’s all Admiral, we have cases to wrap up and reassign so we can be clear in time,” said Harm.

The admiral walked them to the door and closed it behind them. He was happy that they had found each other and he wanted to make some calls to see what strings he could pull. Due to the current shortage, he knew he may be able to make a case with the SecNav for them both to stay at JAG with him as their Commanding Officer, or perhaps one of them could be assigned to Judiciary and loaned to JAG. He would start laying the ground work for the changes that would need to be faced.

1950 EST

December 29, 2003

North of Union Station

After dinner Harm asked Mattie to come sit down with him as he needed to tell her something. Mattie immediately acted nervous and her voice seemed to shake as if she might cry. Harm feared Mattie was thinking the worst, so he wanted to ease her mind quickly. He slid an arm around her shoulder and hug her to his side as they walked to the couch. “It’s nothing horrible, but I do need to talk to you...”

Mattie calmed a little but turned to look up into Harm’s face as they sat side by side while Mac did the dishes.

“Mattie, Admiral Chegwidden informed me today that I’m being sent somewhere in Europe probably for three to four weeks. I don’t know exactly when I’ll be leaving, but I can email and I’ll call whenever I can. Think you’ll be okay with Jen?”

“Sure. Mac will be around too, right?” Mattie asked.

“No, honey, Mac’s going to be on assignment too.”

“Mac will be gone too? Man, I just get a family again and they’re being torn away from me already. It’s not fair!” With that Mattie jumped up and ran from the apartment. Harm followed her to make sure she went in to the one she shared with Jen. AS soon as he was sure that she was there and would be safe, he responded to Mac’s caution to him to let her go and give her a few minutes to adjust.

“Mac, it’s killing me to see her this upset...I thought I had everything under control. She seemed fine staying with Jen when I got called away last time.”

“I know Harm, but she knows us better now and she’s just had a great holiday. I’ll give her a few minutes and then I’ll try and talk to her.”

“Thanks, Mac...I’m glad she’s bonded with you too.” Harm hugged Mac and then pulled back and looked down at her, thinking.

“What?”

“She seemed to take me going in stride...but not you.”

“Yeah...what are you getting at?”

“Mac, her father left her and her mother died...now the male adult is leaving her and the woman adult in her life is going too...”

“Too much to handle maybe...I see your point. I’ll go talk to her now Harm.”

“Thanks Mac.”

Next door Jen nodded to Mattie’s room when Mac knocked and entered the apartment. “Mattie? It’s Mac...can I come in?”

Mac hear the click of the door lock and then saw the knob turn. She slowly pushed it open and stepped through. She had just closed it and turned to Mattie, when Mattie through her arms around Mac and sobbed.

“Do you both have to go? Jen’s nice but I need you...” Mattie’s tears flowed freely breaking Mac’s heart as they did. Mac held her and felt her throat thickening with emotion as her eyes stung with unshed tears.

“Mattie, you know Harm and I wouldn’t go if we didn’t have to. You also know that we’ll make sure that you are not alone while we are gone. You have Jen and you know Bud and Harriet would love to have you spend some time with them. Harm and I will email you every chance we get and we’ll call. You’ll know as much about where we are and what’s happening as we can tell you.” Mac just held her and let her cry and sniffle a while longer.

“Thanks Mac...I don’t usually fall apart like that...it’s just sometimes I get a little emotional when I ...you know...”

“Aahhh...I had a similar problem not long ago. You got every thing you need?”

“Yeah, I’ve been buying my own stuff for months,” Mattie started to smile. “I bet Harm’s beside himself, huh?”

“Yeah, a little. He is torn between doing his job the way he use to and making sure he’s being fair to you...and he loves it.”

“Think a hug will make him feel better?”

“It’s worth a try...I think your hugs have been very therapeutic for our favorite Commander so far...I owe you for that.”

“Just don’t tell him why I fell apart and we’ll call it even.”

“Don’t think he can handle knowing that much about daily life with women, yet?”

“He’ll get use to it...we just need to break him in slowly and hope we both aren’t on the same schedule so one of us can help him out,” Mattie laughed.

Together they went back to see Harm. Jen had moved to her bedroom when they went back through. Mattie called over her shoulder, “I’ll be back soon Jen. I’m going next door again.”

When they walked into the loft, Harm was sitting on the couch leaning forward with his head in his hands. He looked up as he heard them enter. Mattie rushed to Harm’s side, knelt on the couch next to him and put her arms around his shoulders while leaning her face on his head, “It’s okay Harm...I’m sorry I lost it. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure you’re okay with this?”

“Harm, I was fine on my own for six months before you came along...and I won’t be alone. Between Jen and Harriet I probably won’t have a moment’s peace while you are gone.”

Harm pulled her around so he could hug her back. He reached out an arm to Mac too. “Thanks Mac...”

“You’re welcomed Sailor.”

Part 8

1500 EST

December 31, 2003

JAG HQ

The phone rang on Harm’s desk as he was preparing to secure for the day.

“Rabb.”

“Orders are in Commander. Meet me in my office.”

“Aye, aye, sir. On my way.”

Harm dropped the phone and fell in behind Mac as she again announced their arrival.

“Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie reporting as requested, sir.”

“At ease...have a seat...you will proceed to New York City and the United Nations on Friday January second where you will be grilled and drilled in international law. If you meet their requirements you will then be briefed on the protocol for this process and you will be introduced to the other members of the team and your interpreters. If not they will determine if they have another use for you or are going to send you home. As you have both pulled overseas duty and have specialized training in international and maritime law I don’t see that you will have a problem. Any questions?” asked Admiral CHegwidden.

“No sir!” they responded in unison.

“Very well...now on a personal note, I just wanted you to know that Meredith and I would like to plan to do something special with Mattie at least once a week while you are gone. Are you okay with that?”

“That would be wonderful, Admiral, thank you.”

“She take it okay?”

“A little rough at first, but Mac talked to her and she was okay with it.”

“Good for her...she can be a little feisty at times, but I seem to be drawn to those kind of people - or so Meredith keeps reminding me. Are you all joining us at Bud and Harriet’s this evening?”

“Yes sir.”

“Very well, we look forward to seeing you there.”

Harm and Mac left, and after securing their offices, headed for their own homes to get ready for the night’s festivities. Harm reminded Mac to pack a bag and plan on coming home with him afterward and that he and Mattie would pick her up at 1830.

2300 EST

December 31, 2003

Bud and Harriet’s House

Harm, dressed in a dark gray suit with a dark teal shirt and matching tie, had escorted Mattie in a deep purple velvet dress and Mac in similarly styled dress of crushed velvet in basic black to the festivities. Harriet had outdone herself yet again with plenty of appetizers while they waited for everyone to arrive. The table was beautifully set with candles and fine china, crystal and silver. Mattie was breathless when she saw it. She was overwhelmed at first with all the well wishers. She hadn’t realized how popular her new foster-parents were until she observed all the people congratulating them on bringing her into the fold, and their engagement.

Somehow the word had not gotten to Harriet prior to the party and the Admiral decided to make the announcement.

“If I could have your attention for a few minutes...” Everyone paused around the table and put forks down to focus on the Admiral. “I know some of you may be aware that we have had a miracle of sorts this holiday season - maybe two. And before we close out the year, I would like to announce this momentous occasions officially. First, as you know Commander Rabb and I have had our differences this year, but as a result of a few heart to heart talks, I am pleased to say that Harm has made some excellent decisi