Title: Too Much To Walk Away

Author: Hollyjp

Classification: Harm/Mac Romance, some drama

Rating: PG

Spoilers: My story picks up at the end of Posse Comitatus and refers to a variety of episodes and spoilers for season nine. Past episodes are also included as historical references for the characters.

Standard Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Bellisario Productions, CBS, and Paramount. I have borrowed their characters for entertainment purposes only. No monetary gain will result from their appearance in my story.

********

Mac stood there in the bullpen listening to the elderly gentleman imitating a band playing a patriotic song. She couldn’t help but smile. She glanced up at Harmon Rabb and marveled at the man’s ability to find lost souls and make them part of his life. There were times she hated that part of him because it took him away from time that she hoped they would have together, but usually it was one of the many things she loved about the man. At the moment that man was standing there keeping the beat, smiling and relaxed.

“Excuse me, Commander Rabb?” interrupted Harriet Sims-Roberts. “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s a call for you and she sounds pretty insistent. She called earlier when you were with the admiral and is calling again now.”

“Thanks Harriet. Mac, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Mac nodded as she watched him hurry away. The smile was gone from her face and anyone watching one have seen the light in her eyes dim a bit.

“Rabb.”

“Harm? It’s Mattie...I’ve been trying and trying to call you.” Her young voice was shaky and raising in pitched.

“Mattie, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You need to calm down and tell me what’s wrong.” He heard her following his directive.

“Some suits showed up here and said they wanted to speak to my father. When I said he wasn’t around and they should talk to me ‘cause I run Grace Aviation, they told me to tell him that he had one month to pay off the mortgage on the business or they would take it over! Harm, my mother left this place to me - not him! They can’t take it away from me can they?”

“I don’t know all the facts yet Mattie. We’ll look into this. Now, can you tell me where they were from and what their names were?”

“The card they left says Metro Area Mortgages. There’s a phone number but no names.”

“Did they leave any paperwork or account numbers?”

“No. Just this card. Harm it wasn’t even so much the words they said but how they said them...I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks Harm. You said you’d come out every week.”

“I’m sorry Mattie. It has been longer then I planned. I’ll tell you what. Can you put up a couple of people in that house you live in?” Harm was concerned about the sudden clingy attitude from Mattie. He knew she was really scared if she was reaching out to him in this way.

“Yeah...you bringing someone?”

“I hope so. Do you mind?”

“Will I have to wait on them or will they make themselves at home?”

“My guess is that she’ll make herself at home and probably pitch in and try to help - although she doesn’t know much about planes.”

“Yeah. When will you be here?”

Harm heard the loneliness in her voice this time and before he had heard the fear. He also knew that Mattie didn’t like anyone to know she was feeling vulnerable. He suspected that he would also be needed around the hangar to help on some maintenance jobs.

“Maybe tonight...tomorrow morning at the latest. Okay?”

“Thanks Harm.”

“Hang in there kid. Reinforcements are on the way.”

“Harm?”

“Yeah?”

“Who is she?”

Harm smiled. Like Mac, Mattie had a way of cutting through the chase and getting to the main issue.

“Her name is Sarah Mackenzie, but her friends call her Mac. She’s a Marine Lieutenant Colonel and has been my partner at JAG for years.”

“Another lawyer?”

“Yes.”

“Is she why you resigned your commission?”

“Mattie...”

“Is she?”

“In a way, yes.”

“Is she mean and nasty like the bald guy?”

“No, Mattie...but she doesn’t take crap from anyone either - especially me.”

“Is that a warning?”

“Nope. I hope you’ll give her a chance and get to know her. It’s important to me that you get along.”

“I’ll give her a chance, Harm, I promise.”

“I know you will. If I can’t be there tonight I’ll call otherwise I’ll see you tonight.”

Harm heard her soft good-bye and the dial tone before he put the phone down. Now it was time to see if he could convince Mac to go with him. Mattie needed company and it wasn’t right for him to spend time alone with her in her house. But if Mac was there, then it would be okay and he would have a chance for the two of them to get to know each other. He felt that they would all be good for each other. Harm knew that he needed to take care of people. That’s who he was.

Mac missed spending time with Chloe and was great with kids. She and Mattie were so alike that introducing them would be either a stroke of genius or a living nightmare. The three of them together could form a little family away from JAG...Harm stopped his wayward thoughts. First he had to see if Mac would be willing to go. He knew she didn’t have plans as he had heard her telling Harriet she was looking forward to a quiet weekend at home with a good book.

Harm crossed the bullpen. The impromptu concert had ended and everyone had moved on. Harm spotted Mac in her office.

Leaning into the doorway he spoke, “Hey, Mac...got a minute?”

“Sure Harm.” Mac forced a smile onto her face as she looked up at him. “What’s up? You’re latest damsel in distress?”

Harm grinned a little. Mac almost sounded jealous, and if she was then it meant there was a glimmer of hope for them still. “Sort of...you heard that I had been working for a teenager crop dusting before I came back, right?”

“Yeah...the admiral sputtered about it at one point.”

“Her name is Mathilda Grace Johnson but she goes by Mattie. She runs Grace Aviation which bought out the hangar where I keep Sarah - my plane.”

Mac rolled her eyes, “I know who Sarah is. Tell me more.”

Harm took a deep breath. This was actually going better then he had hoped. “Mattie’s mother was killed about 6 months ago in an accident. Her father was driving drunk and afterward kept drinking and took off. Her mother left the business, the airplanes and a house to Mattie. She’s been running the business and hiding the fact that she’s a minor on her own. She quit school and has become independent- at least on the surface.”

“Harm, have you reported this situation to the authorities?”

“Yes and no...I’m applying to be her legal guardian and I’ve arranged for a neighbor to look in on her and make sure she has what she needs. I’m also trying to get her to go back to school. She’s hurting and vulnerable and trying to be so brave.”

“Harm, is this a new obsession?” Mac asked softly.

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just we seem to have made a connection and she was just starting to trust me and open up when I left to come back to JAG. When I found out exactly what the situation was, I had to balance what I knew should happen with what I could do and retain her trust... Mac, she reminds me of you...she’s strong but has been dealt a raw deal. Will you come with me to meet her?”

Mac’s interest was piqued. Mac had seen herself as Harm had described Mattie before he ever mentioned the similarities. She also thought of Chloe and how the two girls had a lot in common. Maybe Mattie would make Chloe seem closer as they didn’t get together very often anymore...although they still talked at least once a month and emailed at least once a week.

“When?”

Harm couldn’t believe his ears. Mac was agreeing without an argument so he decided to go for it all.

“Well, she got a visit from some guys saying that were from a mortgage company and they apparently threatened to take the business. I want to look into it and I could use your help. I’d like to go soon...tonight after work?” Harm paused and Mac nodded so he continued. “We could stay the weekend and head back Sunday afternoon. If you have work to do bring it with you. I’m bringing some files and I know there will be work for me at the hangar. If you don’t have any work you can always bring a good book or two to read...what do you say?” Harm raised one eyebrow and gave her his best ‘pretty-please’ smile.

“It sounds like the sooner the better. Harm, are you sure this whole thing shouldn’t be reported?”

“Meet her and then tell me what you think. I’ll listen to your suggestions, I promise.”

“Harm, where will we stay? Should I call for rooms?”

“There’s plenty of room at the house. We’ll stop and get groceries on the way. I’ve got some frozen dishes I’m taking out as well... and no I don’t have meatless meatloaf, Mac!” Harm laughed as he beat her to her favorite line when they started discussing his culinary menu.

“What can I bring?”

“Just you...and maybe some advice?”

“Deal. What time do you want to leave?”

“How about I pick you up about 1800 and we stop for dinner and groceries on the way?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“Is that because you think I’m always late, or because you’re looking forward to going with me?”

Mac’s smile lit up her face and the room. “Both!” she laughed.

1800

Mac’s Apartment

Mac had gotten home a little early and packed her bag including her books. She also packed a couple of photo albums she thought Mattie might enjoy seeing as most pictures included Harm. She had changed into black jeans and her favorite red sweater and had just brought her bags into the living room when she heard Harm knock.

Opening the door to him she smiled, “Right on time.”

Harm found himself breathless and speechless when she opened the door and smiled that smile he hadn’t seen for months. She was dressed in that soft candy apple red sweater that made her look drop-dead gorgeous. Finally he regained his breath and voice.

“Hi, Mac...you look fabulous.”

“Thanks...” She took in his brown leather jacket, blue jeans and green and gold striped button-down shirt, opened at the throat. “You look pretty good yourself.”

“Thanks. This it?” Harm asked pointing to her bags.

“That’s it...I can carry it.”

“We’ll each take some this trip...you can help with the groceries later. Okay?”

“Fair enough.” Mac smiled. So many changes in such a short time.

2120 EST

Blacksburg Virginia

Harm pulled up the SUV in front of a house on a side street in the village not far from the airport. Before the engine had stopped, a teenage girl ran down the steps and launched herself at Harm as he stepped from the SUV.

“You made it! I thought maybe you couldn’t get away tonight after all.” Mattie hugged Harm around his waist and then stepped back slightly embarrassed by her moment of weakness.

Harm had given her a light hug back but did not attempt to hold on to her Mac noticed. Mac joined them on the driver’s side of the SUV.

“Mac, I’d like you to meet Mattie Grace, my boss at Grave Aviation. Mattie, I’d like you to meet Sarah Mackenzie, my...” Harm paused. He wanted to call Mac something more than a friend but there was still no word to use that really fit...so he chose words that had broad meanings and couldn’t be argued with. “...friend and partner.”

The two women faced each other and extended hands. With their hands clasped, their eyes met and they silently sized up the situation and each other. They could either accept that the man watching was firmly ingrained in both their lives and make it work or become enemies and risk being on the losing end. The silent message was passed and an alliance established with out words being spoken.

Mac smiled, “Nice to meet you Mattie. Harm has spoken highly of you.”

“It was like pulling teeth to get him to talk about you...I’m glad you’re here...”

“Call me Mac, okay?”

“Okay, Mac.”

“Ladies, we have a car to unload... frozen homemade food, fresh groceries, staples, and our stuff. Everyone pitch in and we’ll be done in no time.” Harm attempted to direct operations before things could turn awkward, although they seem to be connecting okay.

“Lots of healthy food, right?” Mattie asked.

“Yes...but Mac made sure you had her version of comfort food as well.” Harm assured her.

Mattie looked at Mac and smiled. Together they recited, “Chocolate bars, ice cream, chips and dip!” and they broke into laughter.

Harm looked on pleased.

Twenty minutes later the car was unloaded and the groceries put away. Mattie showed Harm and Mac around the house and to the extra bedrooms. The downstairs was a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and den. At the top of the stairs was a bathroom and to the right was the bedroom that Mattie used. On the other side of the bathroom were two more bedrooms side by side. All had double beds made up with clean sheets, blankets and homemade quilts.

“Pick whatever bedroom you want. They are both clean and freshly made.”

Mattie watched as Harm took the further bedroom and dropped his things on the bed. Mac put her things in the room next to the bathroom. She decided to wait and see how they acted together before she decided if that was the way they wanted it or if they were trying to set a good example for her.

Mac watched Mattie and tried to hide the grin when she realized what the younger girl was thinking. Mac knew that it was a milestone that she was even here for a weekend with Harm. The idea of ever reaching a point where sharing a bedroom again could be considered would take many more milestones.

Harm stepped back into the hall and asked Mattie, “Did you bring that card with you or is it at the hangar office?”

“No, I brought it home. It’s downstairs in the den. I also found some paperwork on the mortgage and stuff like that. I’ve got the copy of my mother’s will too.”

“Good job, Mattie. Let’s go down and take a look at it now.”

Two hours later

Grace home den

Harm yawned and stretched as he set the papers down. He looked over to the big chair by the fireplace and saw Mattie curled up there asleep. He turned to get Mac’s attention and motioned to her to look. Mac smiled when she saw the girl sleeping there. Relaxed in her sleep she looked much younger then when awake and both Mac and Harm realized that she needed both of them. The bonds that would surround this unusual family unit that they had formed over their eight years together now included Mattie, whether she wanted it or not.

“Did you find anything in the papers you reviewed Mac?” Harm kept his voice soft and quiet so as not to disturb the sleeping girl.

“Nothing...Harm these papers all show the house and business are Mattie’s lock stock and barrel. The original mortgages were paid in full and all taxes have been paid. What about you?”

“Nothing. I’m beginning to think that...”

“...there’s something fishy going on?”

“Yeah...” Harm looked at Mac a little funny thinking back to another time that she had finished his sentences all the time. “I think we need to give it a rest for tonight and tomorrow we can see what we can find out about this mortgage company. I don’t see any paperwork from them in these records...”

“...unless there are more records somewhere that Mattie doesn’t have.”

“Right...Mac, you’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Finishing my sentences.”

“Oh...sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mac. I don’t mind.”

Harm watched Mac with a little gleam in his eye. Mac saw it and leaned in closer to him. Harm reacted by leaning closer toward Mac, too. Like a game of chicken they each moved closer to the other inch by inch to see who would pull back first or give in and go for it.

Across the room, Mattie opened her eyes slowly and watched as the two adults seated at the desk started leaning toward each other. They moved in slow motion and when they were only an inch a part both sat up straight as if on cue and turn to look at her.

Mattie smiled, “Hi...I think I fell asleep. You find anything?”

“Not a thing that shows you owe anyone money. We’re going to explore some other angles tomorrow after we get some sleep...and you, young woman, need to get your rest as well.” Harm gently scolded.

“I won’t argue.”

“Good, go on up. I’ll make sure everything is secure before I come up.”

“Night Harm. Night Mac.”

“G’night Mattie. See you in the morning.”

“Sleep tight Mattie.” Harm watched her before turning back to Mac. “Why don’t you go on up. I’ll tidy up here and secure and then I’ll call it a night too.”

“Okay.” Mac stood up and stepped next to Harm’s chair. “Harm, I only stopped before because I didn’t want an audience.” Before she could change her mind, she bent and placed a kiss against his lips. “Good night...sweet dreams.”

Harm was speechless as he watched Mac go upstairs. How in hell was he suppose to sleep now? Having Mac close again had been great and he was encouraged by the frequent baby steps they seemed to be making toward getting back their friendship and re-opening the door for something more. Now Mac was taking control again if tonight was any indication. Harm thought about that for a minute and sat back with a self satisfied smile on his face. It didn’t matter to him who was in control as long as they were working toward the same goal. It looked like they were so Harm decided that it would be fun to see where she took things if he let her ‘be on top.’

With the papers and files back in order and the lights off, Harm made sure the doors were locked and proceeded upstairs to bed. Mattie’s light was off and the bathroom door was closed until he stepped in front of it. That’s when it opened and Harm found himself looking at Mac clad in a cotton nightgown that stopped mid-thigh. His mouth got dry and his eyes dropped to her bare feet. He remembered later thinking that her feet were beautiful. Slowly his eyes traveled back up her body. He took in the slight blush on her face as their eyes met. This time it was Harm that moved first. His arms slid around her and he pulled her close as his head lowered to let his lips tease hers. The tip of his tongue lightly traced her lips before he nibbled the fullness of her lips again. Slowly releasing her he stood back and said, “”Sweet dreams to you too, Mac.”

0500 EST

Grace House

Mac awoke slowly from her dream. It had seemed so real that even now it felt real. In her dreams, Harm had crawled into bed with her during the night and held her in his arms. When she had tried to ask why he was there, he had quieted her question with a gentle finger to her lips and said, “We’ll talk about it in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

She had done that and now it was if she could feel his arms around her and hear his heart beat. In that instant she realized that it wasn’t a dream. Opening her eyes she looked at his sleeping face next to her. Her head was on his shoulder and her hand rested against his chest. Taking a deep breath she exhaled slowly and relaxed allowing herself time to enjoy the moment.

Fearing the awkwardness that they would probably face later after last nights kiss and his relocation to her bed during the night, she decided to get up early and get the coffee made. Pulling on her robe, she headed for the kitchen to start the coffee. Once there she decided to make a batch of muffins. It was one of the few things she enjoyed making from scratch and could be sure would come out eatable. While they were baking, she read her book and sipped her first cup of coffee. As she took them out of the oven, she heard a noise and looked over her shoulder to see Mattie entering the kitchen.

“Good morning. I hope you don’t mind that I made myself at home in your kitchen.”

“Morning Mac...no, it smells great. Coffee and home made muffins is a great smell to wake up to. Hasn’t been in this house for months.” Mattie’s voice was still sleepy but pleasant.

“Can I get you some coffee? Juice? A muffin?” Mac asked as she watched the teenager yawn and slide into a chair at the kitchen table.

“Thanks, sounds great...but you don’t have to wait on me.”

“Sit...I don’t mind.” Mac put the muffin, juice and coffee on the table for Mattie, refreshed her coffee and added some juice and a muffin for herself and then resumed her seat to Mattie’s left.

“This is wonderful, Mac. Thanks.”

“Your welcome... it’s one of Chloe’s favorites when she comes to visit.”

“Who’s Chloe?”

“My ‘little sister’ sort of. I met Chloe about five years ago when she was about nine through the Big Sister/Big Brother program. She had lost her mother to breast cancer. She didn’t know her father and was living with a step-father that didn’t want her and his girlfriend that tended to get a little rough with her. She was a handful at times but they put her with me because I’m a Marine and they thought I could handle her.”

“And did you?”

“When she wasn’t handling me I guess,” Mac laughed. “She gave me a run for my money at times, but I always knew she was a great person and she needed to grow and have some guidance. I’ve tried to do that.”

“Where is she now?”

“We were able to find her father and she lives at her grandparents farm in northern Vermont.”

“Do you ever get to see her?”

“Yeah, but not as much as I’d like. She usually comes down for a few days during her Christmas break and again in the summer. I try to get up there for a weekend each fall and spring.”

“Harm says that you and I have a lot in common, too. Do you know why he would say that?” Mattie asked.

“Well, my mother left when I was fifteen and my father drank.”

“Your mother didn’t die did she?”

“No. At fifteen there are so many things that come up when you need a mother to talk to. Without one there I made some really stupid choices. I think Harm is hoping that maybe I can be here for you once in awhile to listen to you when you need a woman to talk to.” Mac leaned toward Mattie and whispered, “He’s doesn’t always understand what a woman wants or needs. I think we scare him at times!” The two females laughed and the bond between them began to grow.

“Are you two...dating?” Mattie asked.

“That’s a good question, Mattie. I wish I knew what to tell you. Harm and I have a relationship that can’t easily be explained. We’ve struggled with this for years. All I can tell you for sure is that we are best friends and we have our ups and downs. We are partners at work most of the time and use work to find time to spend together. We have dated other people but when there’s a problem we find each other. We’ve danced around having a romantic relationship but neither of us has been able to take the next step because the other has always backed off. We almost destroyed out friendship trying to explore if there is an ‘us’ but we’ve been able to bounce back from disaster again and reestablish our friendship. I thought that’s all we’d have, but...”

“You love each other too much to walk away, huh?” Mattie said.

Mattie’s simple words made everything seem so clear. In the honesty of the moment Mac could only agree, “It would seem so.”

“What would seem so?” asked a deep sleepy voice from the kitchen entry.

Mac and Mattie exchanged a look of understanding that this was girl talk and then greeted Harm.

“Morning Harm.”

“Coffee, juice and muffin, Sailor?” asked Mac.

“Mac made the muffins, Harm. There really good.”

‘Is that so? Well then I’ll have to try one.”

Harm walked up behind Mac as she put a muffin on a plate for him. He leaned down next to her ear and let his lips lightly touch her face as he quietly whispered for her ears only, “I missed you when I woke up.”

Mac swallowed hard and then turned to get his coffee and juice for him. She had moved away from his warm body to do it and her thoughts became clearer and less jumbled when she did. When she heard Harm’s deep chuckle rumble in his chest, she knew he was aware of the effect her had on her.

Mattie watched them and smiled. She had been prepared not to like Mac, but had found herself warming up to her almost immediately. If there were any doubts, then this morning’s talk had sealed it. She had heard about people that created their own ‘families’ and now she was sensing that this is what she was becoming a part of. It was wonderful and scary at the same time...much like Harm and Mac’s relationship apparently.

The three of them sat around the table eating muffins and drinking juice and coffee. Over their breakfast, they mapped out the plans for the day.

Mac volunteered to research Metro Mortgage Company and dig up what she could on that. Harm was going to help Mattie with some repairs and then take one of the dusting runs so that her pilot could have the day off for some family obligations. Mattie needed to get some orders in for supplies before noon. Mac would bring their lunch out to the field around 1300. They could discuss Mac’s findings over lunch. After that, Mac would watch the office while Harm took Mattie up for a flying lesson in “Sarah.” Later they would go back to the house, fix dinner together and watch a movie on Pay per view.”

As Harm and Mattie headed out the door, Harm dropped a kiss on Mac’s cheek on his way by. “See you later.”

Mac put her hand to her cheek as she watched him follow Mattie to the truck. He was leaving his car for her to use. Mac was enjoying the feeling of family that this weekend was giving her. The new domestic Harm was almost more then a woman could take.

1520 EST

Grace Aviation Hangar

Mac looked up to see two men in dark gray suits and four others in black pants, black turtlenecks and black jackets, pile out of two cars with blackened windows.

“Where’s Johnson or the kid?”

“Not here.”

“Who are you?” the older suited man asked.

“Why are you looking for them?” asked Mac.

“Look lady, I have business with Johnson and I left a message with his kid for him.”

“She’s not here. Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m the lawyer.”

“Lawyer? Johnson took a risk hiring you and you are taking a bigger risk telling me.” He nodded to two of the men in black who began moving around behind Mac.

Mac watched them as much as she could, but she didn’t want to lose sight of the others either.

At his second nod, Mac found herself over powered and restrained by two of the goons in black. One put duct tape over her mouth. Another held her while the third got a chair and the fourth appeared with rope to tied her to it. When she was secured, the younger man in a suit approached. He leaned close to her and said, “Tell Johnson that no fancy lawyers or charges will get you out of this. You borrow, you pay.” And with that Mac saw his hand come up and swing toward her. She felt her head snap back and then nothing.

Same time

Above Blacksburg, VA

Harm’s deep laugh rumbled in the air as he looped and swooped in the Stearman with Mattie screaming in delight. This was their reward for behaving during the real lesson while Mattie had learned to control the airplane on her own. Harm had talked her through some beginner maneuvers and then had her repeat the sequences without his instruction. She had a nice light touch on the controls that came natural, which he had needed to work to achieve.

Harm understood why many women made good pilots and appreciated the finesse with which they flew. Harm felt that Mac would have made a great pilot as her touch was so light, but she wasn’t keen on heights and speed. She had enjoyed flying in Sarah with him before the trouble they had run into. Since then flying and Mac just didn’t seem to go together. Maybe someday she would be willing to try it again, but he wasn’t going to force it.

For a moment a chill went through Harm which he shook off as they completed a final roll. It was time to head back. His instincts were warning him and he did not want to take a chance with Mattie. She was going to make a good pilot but he didn’t want to over do things with her either. Mattie was saying something that drew his attention again.

“Harm! That’s those guys from the mortgage company running from the hangar back to their cars. What are they doing?”

“I don’t know Mattie, but were going to land and find out. You stay with the plane when I set it down.”

“Harm...”

“Not now Mattie.”

Harm’s tone told her that it wasn’t the time to argue and she relaxed in her seat and prepared for the landing. Harm taxied the plane toward the hangar a little faster then usual. The cars were already pulling away and heading out onto the main road when they stopped. Harm unbuckled and jumped out, running toward the hangar. His long legs carried him rapidly across the distance to the door which he wrenched open and flung back. As his eyes adjusted to the light he saw Mac tied to the chair, her head hanging forward.

“Oh God, Mac! Are you alright? Mac?” Rushing to her side, he knelt beside her and tried to assess the damage. He could see she was breathing. He began to untie the ropes holding her feet to the chair legs.

Mattie joined him and without a word began helping to untie the ropes.

Once she was free they eased her onto the floor on a blanket that Mattie had found in the office . Harm saw the bruise forming on her cheek where someone had connected. He pulled the duct tape off her mouth and noticed that she was beginning to stir.

“Easy...It’s okay, Mac. You’re safe. Stay still, just open your eyes.” Harm tried to keep his voice soft and calm for both Mac and Mattie’s benefit. Slowly her eye lids opened and he was able to see the warm brown of her eyes searching for his hazel ones.

“Harm, it was those guys from that Mortgage company. There’s some shady deal going on...Mattie...?”

“I’m right here, Mac. I’m sorry you got caught up in this.”

“It’s okay, Mattie, but we really need to get to the bottom of this situation. Harm, help me up.”

“Mac, I don’t think...” Harm was cut off as Mac jumped in.

“Sometimes you don’t” Mac smiled at Harm to take the sting out of her words. “I’m shaky but I’m fine, so help me up.” Easing his arms around her, she leaned into his strength as she stood up. Mattie left and returned with an ice pack for Mac’s face.

“Should we take her to get x-rays Harm?”

“Probably,” answered Harm, while at the same time Mac said, “No need.”

Mattie shook her head looking back and forth at the two of them. “What did they say Mac?”

Mac repeated the conversation and tried to give them the details. She watched Harm as he became more and more agitated. He could not stand to have people he cared about attacked. His emotions were bubbling up and she knew that she had to come up with a plan to keep him from reacting before he thought things through.

“Harm, listen to me. I think we need to contact the authorities. Mattie, do you have any idea where your father is or how we can get a message to him?”

Mattie thought for a minute and then said, “I have my grandparents address. He probably is there or at least he’ll show up there at some point.”

Mac and Harm beamed at Mattie and said simultaneously, “Good girl!”

“What else are you thinking, Marine?” Harm asked.

“I think we need to get someone in here that we can trust to keep Grace Aviation going for Mattie, and then we need to get her away from here.”

“Good, idea. Any suggestions?” Harm asked.

“Wait a minute!” Mattie was getting a little concerned about this plan.

“Mattie can stay with me for a night or two. The couch isn’t bad for a short stay, but we’ll have to come up with something better long term.”

“Right, we can work on it...I actually have a couple of ideas.”

“Now wait just a minute, you two!” Mattie tried again to get their attention, but Mac and Harm were on a roll and kept going.

“I also have an idea for someone that can help with Grace Aviation.”

Mac looked thoughtfully at Harm, “Anyone I know?”

“Actually you know both of my ideas...Keeter is around I think and he might be able to help out short term. In the mean time, I’ll call Sergei and see if he and Galina are interested in a move to the US for awhile.”

“Sergei? Galina? Keeter? Who are these people you are talking about taking over for me?”

Harm turned to Mattie, “Keeter is a pilot and has been a friend for years. He owes me. Sergei is my half brother and Galina is his fiancee. They postponed their wedding until they could save up a little more money. She’s a flight attendant and can live basically anywhere as she does the world flights. He was working for a freight company but got laid off last month.”

“I think we should close up shop and go back to the house. We got some calls to make and arrangements to set up. Hang in there Mattie. It may seem like you’re losing everything, but in the end I think we’ll be able to save it for you.”

2330 EST

Mattie’s House

Harm was sitting on the couch thinking what a long day it had been, when he looked up and saw Mac entering the living room from the kitchen. He held out his hand to her and she took it, allowing him to pull her down on the couch next to him. With his arm around her, she leaned into his warmth and strength and relaxed for the first time in hours. She felt his face resting on her hair.

“Harm?”

“Hmmm?”

“Mattie go to bed?”

“Yeah.”

“She okay with everything?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t she be?”

Mac pulled away just a bit to turn and look at him. “Harm, she’s been on her own for months now. She’s gotten use to being independent. It’s pretty hard on someone that has had to fight to stand on their own two feet to suddenly give that up to someone. We’ve been like bulldozers today making plans and telling her what’s going to happen. I know how important it is for her safety and livelihood, however, I also know it isn’t easy to give someone else the control.”

“I know Mac. She’s like you that way, huh? Something I had trouble understanding for years. I guess she’s okay. She thanked us for being here when she went up to bed. She said her bag is packed. The only thing she seemed reluctant to do is go back to school just yet.”

“Let’s give her a few days before we push that issue, okay?”

“Mac...”

“If she resists when we bring it up to register her.”

“Okay.”

“Harm?”

“Yeah.”

“Have I told you that I like this new you?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” and with that Mac snuggled up beside Harm, her head on his shoulder and her hand resting against his chest. Harm tightened his arm around her pulling her a little closer and resting his head again on top of her hair. He reached up to touch the bruise on her face. “Hurt much?”

“A little, but it’s okay,” she reassured him.

“Mac?”

“Yeah?”

“I like this new side of you, too.”

“What side is that?” Mac spoke softly, curious as to what he’d say.

“The soft, sexy side that’s all woman.”

Mac smiled as she raised her head to whisper into his ear, “That’s your reward for letting me be on top.”

Harm’s smile matched hers and he lowered his head to kiss her. There lips met in a kiss full of passion tinged with a desire to explore and learn. His lips kissed her with a hunger that he had previously not unleashed. Sarah Mackenzie met him kiss for kiss. Their tongues teased and tantalized, explored and explained.

They adjusted their positions to give them more options, stopping every little while for air. Both of them were fast approaching the point where they had little control. Somehow, by mutual consent, they both stopped and just held each other for a few more minutes.

“Mac, I’d love to hold you again tonight but I’m not sure I can behave myself and I don’t think either of us is quite ready to take this further.”

“I know. And you’re right. At least I know now that you want me like I want you.”

“Do you still think there can never be an ‘us’?” Harm asked.

“No...but at the time I didn’t think it was possible and I doubted that you were even attracted to me at all.”

“Gee Mac, I’m sorry I didn’t realize that you had doubts about the way I felt about you. Seems like we’ve wasted some precious time.”

“Let’s just remember that and don’t repeat our mistakes with each other.”

“Deal.”

Together they rose and climbed the stairs to the bedrooms. Harm took the bathroom first while Mac checked on Mattie and then got her things from her own room. They exchanged quick kisses as they passed each other in the hall by the bathroom. Mac went in and got ready for bed. When she returned to her room, Harm was laying on the covers of her bed in his boxers and the quilt from his room over him. He smiled when she came in.

“I couldn’t stand being away from you, so I decided to try this. You can always slap me if I get fresh,” Harm’s eyebrow was raised and he wore a cock-eyed grin.

Mac just smiled, dropped her robe and slid in under the sheets next to him. It made the covers a little tighter then usual with him laying on top of them, but after a few minutes they got comfortable and fell asleep, hands clasped on his chest.

“You know, Sailor, we’ve taken so many tiny steps this weekend that its almost like we’re running. Can you handle it?” Mac asked in a soft voice, not wanting to overwhelm him just in case.

“Mac, I’m doing what feels right. If something doesn’t feel right to me, then I’ll know we moved too fast, but after eight years, I think we’ve finally moved from slow motion to fast forward only until we get to the place we really want to be. Then things should seem more normal. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it does. I’ll try not to worry about it and just enjoy it.”

“Good, now go to sleep.”

0700 EST

Mattie’s House

Harm was up first and made calls to Keeter and Sergei before starting breakfast. Keeter was expected around 1000 and Sergei promised to talk it over with Galina and get back to him with a decision within the week.

After starting the coffee, Harm whipped up omelettes filled with veggies and cheese. He made bacon for Mac and Mattie and snuck a slice for himself when they weren’t looking. He liked the taste of bacon but he didn’t like the fat and cholesterol so he always limited his intake to between zero and one slice. Having lost a grandfather to heart disease when he was only forty made Harm extra conscientious of his heart health over the years. His mother had often asked him why that concerned him, yet the fact that both his father and paternal grandfather died as a result of downed planes didn’t seem to phase him.

Two arms circles his waist from behind as he prepared their plates. He felt Mac rest her face against his back for a moment. “You’re awake early this morning.”

“Wanted to fix you a nice breakfast...Keeter will be here around 1000.”

“Wow! You’ve been busy and lucked out.”

“Mmm...come here.” Harm pulled Mac around in front of him so he could kiss her good morning. He grimaced when he saw her face. His finger lightly caressed her cheek.

“It’s okay, Harm. Make-up will cover that for work tomorrow.”

“It should never have happened. If I...”

“Don’t go there Harm. You can’t live in my pocket and you know that I’m a lean mean fighting green Marine, so power down, Sailor.”

“I know...so sue me for caring.”

1003 EST

Grace House

Blacksburg, Virginia

“You flyboys are all alike - late for everything!” Mac kidded Harm as they worked packing up Mattie’s things that she would take with them while they waited for Keeter to arrive.

“He’ll be here...” Harm paused as the roar of an engine could be heard outside. “See!” one eye-brow raised to emphasize his point as he tossed Mac his wide grin.

Together Harm and Mac went to the door as Mattie ran down the stairs behind them, waiting in the back ground. When Jack Keeter looked at the open front door framing Harm with Mac standing in the back ground he was struck by the domestic scene and decided to give his commitment phobic buddy some razzing.

“Well if it isn’t a domesticated Rabb! So when did you abandon bachelorhood for the domestic life, Buddy?”

“What makes you think that?” Harm asked shaking Keeter’s hand and still grinning.

“Come on Rabb - you standing in the door of a neighborhood house, a beautiful woman at you side and a kid in the background - it don’t scream swinging bachelor.”

“Knock it off and get in here. You remember Mac- -Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, USMC?”

“Sure do. Hi Mac - still hanging out with this looser?” Keeter hugged Mac briefly.

“Nice to see you Keeter. Thank you for coming to help out.”

“Any excuse to see you again Mac.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Harm stepped in to move Keeter’s attention away from Mac. “Mattie, come meet Keeter. Mattie Grace Johnson- Mattie, Jack Keeter.”

After exchanging greetings it was time to take a trip to the hangar and go over the operation that Keeter was going to run temporarily. It was decided that he’d stay at the house and so they did not need to pack up the refrigerator and cupboards.

Mac and Harm paused close together and stared in each others eyes for a few moments before Harm moved on to leave with Keeter and Mattie. Mac would meet them at the hangar and from there they would leave for Washington, D.C.

Once at the hangar, Keeter cornered Harm after Mattie had gone over the basic operation with him and then walked over to say good-bye to some of her pilots and to explain to them what was going to happen.

“So Harm, what’s up with you and the Colonel? You finally get your act together?”

“You know Keeter, I’m not sure where we stand - exactly. Since I went back to JAG, we’ve reached a truce I guess. We haven’t really talked about things, but we’ve re-established our friendship, I think...and we’ve at least admitted we are attracted to each other. We’ve always known we could count on one another when things are down - but we’ve had a rough year. I thought it was all gone, but there’s too much between us - good and bad - to just walk away and give up. So, I’ve been trying to be more careful about what I do and say and I think we are both on the same page. We are just getting our feet under us and I think we are in a position to move into something special. We can’t rush it and we’ve got to work with it.”

“Wow, Harm, I didn’t realize how deep Mac and you had become. Now how does Mattie fit into all this?”

“She doesn’t have anyone and she needs an adult to watch out for her. I’m trying to get appointed her guardian and Mac was missing Chloe, her ‘little sister’ from the program, so I thought she might be able to help...so far they’ve gotten along great.”

“Yeah, you always had to work yourself into the ‘swinging bachelor’ role. Looks like you’ve been ignoring your natural calling all this time my friend.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ve been searching for your own family for years.”

Somehow Keeter and Harm both knew he was right and neither spoke anymore about it.

1830 EST

Mac’s Apartment

Georgetown

It had been a busy day, but Mattie was finally settled at Mac’s. The SUV had been unloaded while they waited for their Chinese take out order to be delivered.

“What’s the game plan for tomorrow?” Mac asked.

“How about we make a list of all the things we’ve got to do and then assign responsibilities and prioritize?” Harm suggested.

“What? Harmon Rabb with a plan?”

Harm paused a moment as if waiting for more. Deciding she was not going to say anymore he just grinned. He didn’t want to let old hurts infect their renewed friendship and closeness.

Two hours later they had decided that Harm would pick up Mattie in the morning and they would register her in school. He would then meet Mac at JAG and they would see what they could find out about Metro Mortgage Company.

1220 EST

JAG HQ

“What’ve we got?” Harm asked Mac as they settled in her office to eat lunch and discuss their morning and Mattie’s situation.

Mac looked at Harm not sure how he was going to take what she was about to tell him. She decided to start with the less emotional stuff first.

“Harm, Metro Mortgages is a real company and for the most part is on the up and up. They do have a couple of guys however that run on the outskirts of the law and they are the ones apparently that have been visiting the hangar. The company president is willing to work with us to nail these guys.”

“What aren’t you telling me, Mac?” Harm asked as he focused on her upper lip twitching.

“One thing at a time Harm...how did school registration go?”

“Great...I explained that we were in the process of becoming her legal guardians and that we didn’t want her to miss anymore school. They let her enroll and start her classes today. She’s going back to your place after school and on her way home she might check out the library and some shops. I told her that you usually get home around 1800 - six o’clock and she needed to be there by then. I also reminded her to call if she needed anything before then.”

“Well, it seems the school was a little more concerned about things then they let on to you. They called me to confirm your story and have also reported the situation to Child Protective Services. They will be meeting us at my apartment at 1800 tonight and want to see copies of the papers we’re filing. They’ll also inspect my place and if they don’t feel we are the right situation for Mattie...”

“They’re going to take her away?”

“They could Harm, but I don’t think we should panic yet. I explained that I have been part of the Big Sister program and they are going to check my history with them. They also wanted names of people they could call as references. I hope you don’t mind, but I suggested they should talk to Bud and Harriet, Jen, and Chloe’s grandmother.”

“No...no that sounds fine...thank you Mac for doing this.”

“Mattie wormed her way into my heart Harm. She reminded me of Chloe and myself and I guess I wish someone had been there to do this for me when I was in a similar situation. I think we’ll be okay if we stay calm and meet their hoops openly and honestly.”

Harm nodded his head in agreement as he studied Mac’s upper lip. As much as he had enjoyed kissing it, he was much more interested in the twitching it was doing. “What else Mac?”

“How do you do that?”

“You tell me how you do the time thing...”

“Never mind...it seems Mattie’s father took out a mortgage without her mother’s knowledge and because there has been no repayment of the loan the company could take over Grace Aviation and sell it for the balance owed. There’s not much that can be done in that respect, however, the guys that have been trying to get something out of the situation for themselves, are about to go down.”

“Thanks Mac...I guess I’d better get back to my own office and the mountain of files still there. I’ll meet you at your place by 1800.”

“Harm, I think we should fill the Admiral in...”

“Right. Good thinking. I’ll see if we can get in now.”

“Actually we have an appointment in about an hour. I set it up with Jen earlier when I told her that someone may call her about us.”

1400 EST

Admiral’s Office

JAG HQ

“Have a seat. Are one or both of you in any trouble?”

“No sir.”

“Alright, then tell me what’s going on.”

“Admiral, do you remember the girl that was running Grace Aviation?”

“That cheeky brat that accused me of firing you?”

Harm grimaced and Mac grinned. “That would be the one, sir.”

“Go on.”

“I discovered that her father has abandoned her and that she is all alone. She’s done pretty good on her own considering, but I have started to do the paperwork to become her guardian. I took Mac with me to meet her this weekend, as I felt that it would be inappropriate for me to spend the weekend there alone. Anyway, she and Mac connected and we decided to amend the paperwork to be joint guardians.”

“Did you contact Child Protective Services?”

“They actually were contacted when I enrolled her in school this morning near Mac’s place.”

“Admiral,” Mac spoke up to clarify things. “She can’t live with Harm and I have been approved as both an emergency foster care placement and through Big Sister program to work with youth. She’s staying with me so I am looking at the physical custody aspect, while Harm would be her advisor and have the power of attorney and so on.”

“Mac I can see you handling this responsibility. You did a great job with Chloe. Commander, are you sure you know what you are getting in to? Are you ready for the commitment this will entail?”

“Admiral, while I was away from JAG I learned a lot about myself. I don’t’ want to grow old alone and I need to be needed. I know someday I want my own family, but I think I can help Mattie. I know what it’s like to lose a parent as does Mac. I was about Mattie’s age when I stopped being a kid and starting acting like an adult...” Harm held up his hand to stop them from what he knew they were going to say and addressed the issue himself. “That’s one reason I think it has taken me so long to act like a responsible adult again. I play acted it as a kid and didn’t allow myself to be a kid. Then when it got to be too much I became impulsive... I just know that Mattie needs someone to watch out for her and take on the parental role. Being single I can’t do it alone...and I’m not going to go out and get married just so I can make a home for her. When I do marry it will be because we love each other and we want to be together - not just to have a family.”

Harm’s words echoed through Mac’s mind reminding her of the deal they had made...she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if they were not in love with each other, then there would be no baby. It reassured her to realize how strongly Harm felt about that, and it also gave her a glimmer of hope that this new closeness they were enjoying was the real thing...not something being done because they had both been without others in their life way to long or just as a means to an end - providing a home for a child. Her heart swelled with pride in this man that was her partner. As exasperating as he could be, he was an honorable man and she would always love him and stand by him. She hoped that someday she could tell him that.

“Rabb, you will never cease to amaze me. Every time I think you’ve done as much as anyone can, you find a little more in you. Makes it damn hard to give up on you, son.”

Harm’s heart swelled with pride this time at hearing the admiral’s words. He knew that his CO had always wanted more from him and now he was hearing him say that he hadn’t let his CO down after all. It probably did more for his battered self-esteem then any award or medal could have.

After Mac and Harm outlined the plans they had established and filled him in on the role of Metro Mortgage in the events of the weekend, the Admiral assured them that he would support their efforts.

1800 EST

Mac’s apartment

Georgetown

Harm was running late and so he arrived at Mac’s still in his uniform. Mac was starting the coffee pot and tea kettle when Mattie opened the door to him.

“How was your first day at school, Mattie?”

“Okay...Child Protective Services interviewed me at school.”

“Were you cooperative?”

“I probably gave them some attitude, but I answered every one of their questions. I don’t like the fact that they think something’s weird about this.”

“Mattie, in this day and age with so many people doing things that just seem to be unimaginable to most people, we all have to be on the look out for the ones that pray on children and the weak. I’d be more upset with the system if they didn’t question and investigate the situation.”

“Harm’s right Mattie. The systems were put in place to protect children and as lawyers we have to uphold those systems. You were right to be honest even if you didn’t want to be.”

Mac was interrupted by a knock at the door. “That will be them.”

Harm opened the door to the two women from Protective Services.

“Mr. Rabb?”

“Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., Ma’am. He politely corrected them with his rank and shook their hands as they introduced themselves.

“Ronda West and my apprentice, Janet Hudson.”

“Mrs. West and Ms. Hudson...Lt Colonel Sarah Mackenzie and Mattie Grace Johnson.”

“Nice to meet you Mrs. West.” Mac stepped forward to greet them, shake hands and invite them in.

As they stepped into the room, Mrs. West spoke to Mattie. “Nice to see you again, young lady.”

Mattie nodded and stepped closer to Harm.

“Why don’t we take a tour of your apartment, Colonel before we start. I understand that this is where Mattie is staying for now?”

“Yes. Harm and I have discussed the possibility of locating another place to live eventually, but that’s as far as we have gotten.”

They walked around and looked at the small apartment, making notes while they walked. It didn’t take long for them to see the entire apartment and they settled down in the living room area.

“Ideally we would like to speak with each of you privately, but it doesn’t look like that’s possible here.” Mrs. West glanced around.

“Well, you could interview me in the bedroom and Harm here or in the kitchen, “ Mac offered as a solution.

“Alright, Colonel Mackenzie, perhaps you and Ms. Hudson could go in there and maybe Mattie could join you?”

“Would like coffee or tea while we talk?” asked Mac.

“No, thank you. Let’s get started.”

They agreed and Harm and Mrs. West sat at the table. Harm had a feeling that this interrogation was going to get very personal quickly. He wasn’t wrong.

“Commander Rabb, why are you interested in being this girl’s guardian?”

“She needs someone to take the adult role in her life and I feel I can do that.”

“Why you?”

“Because Mattie doesn’t take to people easily and we’ve established a trust and respect for each other.”

“Won’t your love-life suffer Mr. Rabb, or do you plan on conducting that in front of this teenage girl?”

Harm had to chuckle a little, “Mrs. West, my love-life as you put it has been non-existent for the past two years. I don’t see that as a problem.”

“Why would a good looking man like yourself, not have a love-life for that long?”

“Look, there is someone I care very deeply about but I’m not sure we can work through all the issues that are keeping us apart. Our love-life, or lack of one, will not interfere with us keeping Mattie safe and secure. Mattie is a kid that needs someone to look out for her interests. Mac is a great role model for teenage girls.”

“Are you telling me that there is another person that will have a role in Mattie’s life? Why isn’t this person present for us to talk to?”

“I’m sorry, Mac is Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. Her friends call her Mac,” Harm explained.

“So you are telling me that you are in love with Sarah Mackenzie and that you two are not having an affair and will not set a bad example for a teenager?” Mrs. West looked amazed.

“Mrs. West, Mac and I have been best friends for years and we have never been able to identify what we are to each other. I can promise you that we both live our lives by a high standard of conduct. Mattie will see Mac and I argue at times and discuss issues and she’ll see us playful and teasing. She’ll see us worry about each other and be there for each other and our friends. She’ll learn that the truth is everything and that education is important as are family and friends.”

Mrs. West sat back and thought about Harm’s statement a minute. Harm just sat quietly and waited for her to comment. He hoped he hadn’t gone to far.

In the bedroom, Mattie, Mac and Ms. Hudson sat on the bed and talked.

“Colonel Mackenzie, do you think that Harmon Rabb has an ulterior motive in becoming Mattie’s guardian?”

“Yes, he wants to help her grow into a responsible adult without having to give up her childhood, years to early.”

“How well do you know Commander Rabb? Can he really be trusted with a female minor?”

Mac bristled a little and then decided to give her an example of how ethical and frustrating Harmon Rabb could be. “I know him very well and yes he can be trusted...and not just with a minor. This man has an extremely high moral code. Sometimes I think it is one of the things that has prevented us from moving beyond friendship.”

“Explain what you mean, please, Ms. Mackenzie - Colonel.”

“I have traveled extensively with Harm. We’ve been alone and have even had to share a bed at times. Not once, even when I was trying to get him to show interest, has he ever given in to the moment or situation.”

“Mattie said she has seen you kiss. Is that true?”

“Yes, but there’s never been more then a hug and a few kisses. Look, we work together and are in the military. Protocol is strict. Two officers in uniform do not even hold hands. Harm lives that code. I’ve seen him with girlfriends and he didn’t even hold hands in public with them.”

“Mattie did indicate that the kisses were brief and nothing that made her uncomfortable to see.”

“I said they looked cute together and that I thought they were a little uncomfortable kissing in front of me,” Mattie interjected.

“Yes you did, Mattie, but we need to determine if we need to worry about inappropriate behavior from your guardians,” Janet Hudson stated.

“I saw my father hit my mother when he was drunk. I saw my mother afraid to let him see her fear in case it upset him further. When I see Harm and Mac together, I see two people that care about each other. I’d think you’d want me to be exposed to healthy interactions between two adults.”

“You’re right Mattie, of course. However, we need to make sure you won’t see too much.”

Mac laughed a little, “Look it took us almost eight years to get to this point. At this rate, Mattie will be out on her own and we’ll be retired from the military before either of us can move our relationship to an inappropriate level.”

Janet Hudson laughed and Mattie and Mac joined her. In the other room, Harm and Mrs. West were discussing Sarah Mackenzie.

“I’ve read the background file we have on Sarah Mackenzie and she does have a reputation for dealing with troubled youth. She already has a teenager in her life, from the Big Sister program, why would she want to take on another?”

“I know she misses Chloe and I think she feels that she may be able to help keep Mattie on a positive path instead of going down a destructive path like Mac did as a kid. I also know that family is important to her.”

“Why should we grant Sarah Mackenzie physical custody and you guardianship of Mathilda Grace Johnson?”

“Mac and I want to help this girl. She came into my life and she needed a family. Mac and I both want a family and she is willing to do this with me. We have been partners at work and we share a godson. Together I think we can make a difference in Mattie’s life and make it better then it would be without us.” They both heard the laughter in the bedroom and glanced at the closed door.

The door opened and Ms. Hudson asked, “Are you ready to switch yet, Mrs. West?”

“I think so. Commander if I have further questions I will call you.”

Janet Hudson looked at the tall Navy Commander in his imposing blue uniform as he stood and waited for her to be seated. She had heard the expression ‘officer and a gentleman’ many times before, but she felt that she was seeing a living breathing example in front of her. Janey Hudson did not trust men easily. She had not had good experienced as a child or as a young adult, but she believed that were good men out there. It was one reason that she was good at her job. She relied on emotions and instincts at times, but they had not let her down.

“Why are you interested in becoming involved with a fourteen year old girl?” Janet Hudson asked with a directness that surprised Harm.

“I’m not.”

“Excuse me, then why are we here?”

“If you let me finish Ms. Hudson...” Harm waited until she indicated that she was ready. “I am interested in helping Mattie. She’s a child with no one to guide her. When I was a child I lost my father when he was shot down over Vietnam. My mother was there but I became the man of the house at six and I learned to hide my feelings and act like a man because I didn’t want to add to her burden. When she remarried, I never gave my step father a chance and I resented her for moving on when I thought my father might still be alive. You see, I can understand how Mattie feels losing a parent, and I know that another adult to rely on is important - even though they don’t take the place of that missing parent. Yet they can support and guide a child into becoming a healthy independent adult. I missed part of my childhood and Mac lost most of hers. Neither of us like to see a child go through what we went through. We also both value our independence and would want to help a child to learn to be strong and independent without losing the ability to rely on others at times. It’s been hard for both of us to learn to trust another person and to appreciate how important it is to know when to lean on someone. It just happened that Mattie came into my life, and eventually Mac’s because of me, and she needs what we can give her if we are allowed to.”

“What exactly is your relationship with Colonel Mackenzie?”

“Now that is the million dollar question.” Harm thought a moment before answering. “Mac and I have had a roller coaster ride since we met eight years ago. I would say that we are best friends. We’ve developed a trust and a connection that nothing has been strong enough to break - bruise yes...but so far when things get tough between us, we come out on the other side stronger for it. I think in time we will both realized that what we have is something so strong and so lasting that we will give in to the inevitable and be able to voice what we really are feeling. It’s hard to explain what we are - partners, friends...but never lovers - at least not yet.”

“Yet, I understand that Mattie watched you two kiss this weekend.”

“Yes, that’s true. Tell me Ms. Hudson, is it wrong for a child - a teenager - to see two adults show affection? I remember my mom and dad hugging and happy to be together. I want that in my life. Even my mother and step-father shared a closeness that thinking back on it made me feel safe...although I resented Frank for taking over the man of the house role, I also know now that he treated me with respect and understanding and that he loved me for who I was - faults and all. What ever happens with Sarah Mackenzie and me, I know that I care about her. Exchanging kisses is not something we’ve done much of - but it seems to be part of this next phase of our relationship. I respect Sarah and I respect Mattie. I would never intentionally do anything that would make either of them uncomfortable.”

Janet Hudson sat and considered the answers she had been given.

In the bedroom, Mrs. West addressed Mac, “ I’ve read your files Colonel Mackenzie and you and Commander Rabb have led exciting and dramatic lives. How do you think you are going to be able to handle a teenager and the commander, Colonel?”

“I’ve been learning to handle Harm for eight years and I’m just starting to understand how he works. Of course he says he needs an instructor’s manual to figure me out. We are both complex people. We both value family and I think we will eventually have our own if we can keep moving forward. We know how to work together...we know we can trust each other. As for handling a teenager, I seemed to be able to get Chloe to understand things when others couldn’t. We talked about it one day. She said that she felt like she could tell me anything because I didn’t judge her...I listened and we discussed her options and I let her make her decisions once she knew and thought about what her actions might mean. I guess Jennifer Coates is another example of a project that Harm and I shared.”

Mrs. West looked through her notes. “Isn’t that one of the names you gave as a reference?”

“Yes it is.”

“Tell me about her.”

“Jen had grown up a wild child and the judge had given her the option of joining the navy or going to jail. She joined and then get caught imitating Santa Claus while home on leave. It was just before Christmas and Harm ended up having to take her into custody as their was no one to guard quarters over the holidays and he really didn’t think it would do anyone any good for her to sit in the brig over the holidays. He tried to find someone to leave her with that he could trust. Her father was verbally abusive and he knew she’s run from there...and so to make a long story short, he brought her to me. She stayed with me at night and she stayed with him during the day. Instead of treating her like a prisoner, he tried to get her to think over her life. I tried to get her to realize that she could make her life something positive if she wanted to. As a result of us showing her that we cared about her, she chose to stay in the Navy and she turned her life around after a short stay in the brig. She became a part of our JAG family and has worked as both a legal-man and an administrative assistant with JAG. She credits Harm and I guess me for caring about her. We credit her for turning her life around and saving another JAG’s life when he was injured in Afghanistan.”

“I must say that you lead interesting lives. What would happen to Mattie if one of both of you were called away?”

“We have several friends that would be willing to take Mattie. Jen for one and the Robert’s for another.”

“And this won’t cramp your style?”

“No. As I explained to Ms. Hudson, what Mattie might see around Harm and I would be respectful and caring. Nothing that would corrupt a child.”

“Well Colonel Mackenzie, after we interview your references, and compare notes, we will get back to you.”

It had been a grueling two and a half hours with Mrs. West and Ms. Hudson. When the door shut on them, Mac, Harm and Mattie collapsed together on the couch.

Outside the door, Janet Hudson looked at Ronda West and said, “They might not have admitted to loving each other, but two people anymore committed to each other then Sarah Mackenzie and Harmon Rabb wold be hard to find.”

“Well, if we don’t turn up anything suspicious in the references then I’d say that Mattie is going to be one lucky girl to end up with those two watching out for her.”

Back in the apartment, Harm sat between Mattie and Mac, one arm around each of them. They in turn rested their heads against him and held hands with each other letting their fingers rest on his stomach. Harm tipped his head back against the couch and watched them through half closed eyes. After a few minutes someone’s stomach growled. No one was sure which stomach got noisy as they were all hungry. After laughing about the fact that they were all hungry, they all entered the kitchen to see what they could throw together. They had brought back some a couple of the frozen dishes that Harm had made and taken out for Mattie. They decided against those because it would take too long to heat up. Grilled cheese sandwiches and homemade tomato soup won out. It didn’t take long before they were eating and talking over the interviews.

“They really ask personal questions, huh?” Mattie asked them.

Both Mac and Harm agreed.

“Did I say the wrong thing when I told them I saw you kiss this weekend?”

“No, Mattie. You told them the truth.”

“Did they ask you if you had ever seen us kiss?”

“No, they asked me to describe your relationship with each other and I didn’t know what to say.”

“That’s alright Mattie, we don’t know what to say either at times,” answered Harm as he glanced at Mac sitting across the table from him.

“Why did they talk to you in front of me, but not Harm?”

“I think they were trying to test me to see if I was a pervert or something and they knew they couldn’t ask the kinds of questions they needed to ask, if either of you were there.” Harm answered.

&ldq